“WHO WANTS TO FUCK A REAL LIVE KING?!” Sidney Grey drunkenly shouted from the top of her lungs in the crowded bar that she had all but made her home over the last few days.


A voice from the crowd asked, “Like King Charles of England?”

Another responded, “That’s a dude!  You trying to fuck some rich English dude?”

“FUCK NO!” there was a pause.  “…how rich…?”

Sid climbed on top of the bar, continuing to scream.  “KING CHARLES IS A PUSSY!!”  She swayed, nearly falling over the side.  “He didn’t even beat Queen Elizabeth for the fucking crown!  I’M A REAL KING!!  I WAS A KING LONG BEFORE HE WAS!”

“Ma’am, please get down.” The bartender urged, reaching up to help her.

Sid slapped the hand away, shrieking at him.  “ONLY A TRUE KING MAY TOUCH ANOTHER KING!”

The Bartender started reaching for the phone to call the police, but Dani Chow quickly intervened, stopping him and luring Sid down with the promise that Isaiah King was waiting outside to talk to her about uniting their two Kingdoms.  Of course, Dani meant joining her team for Wargames, but Sid had an entirely different idea about how their union would go down.

Of course, either way was an obvious lie.  Isaiah King had no interest in her.  More than that, he wasn’t in Wargames and Sid wasn’t even a team captain.  Dani endured a drunken tongue lashing from her employer until she eventually passed out on the ride home.  It was a welcome reprieve from her abusive tirade.  Ones that had escalated in frequency and intensity after Gina Van Zyl had stabbed her in the back.

Dani had struggled to get Sid into the house and into bed.  The former Anarchy and Universal Champion had put on what drunkenly passed for a good fight before crashing into the mattress, snoring loudly as Dani stripped off her clothes.  As she pulled off Sid’s jacket, a crumpled-up photo of Sid and Gina fell out of her pocket.  Dani picked it up, scowling as she looked at it.


“…stupid cunt…” Dani whispered under her breath, without a single hint to the manufactured accent she put on for Sid.  She started to shit-can the picture, then thought the better of it as she stuck it back in her coat pocket with a scowl.

---

“I hear that Sid has been a bit out of control lately.”

Dani pulled in a deep and exasperated breath.  “That’s one hell of an understatement!  She’s been drinking herself into a coma every night, leaving me to pick up the damn pieces!”  Dani’s mood darkened.  “If Gina Van Zyl was here, I’d put my fucking fist through her stupid face for what she did!”

“Obviously, Gina costing Sid both the Anarchy and Universal Titles was a blow and it’s-“

“It’s not the titles…” Dani cut the Producer off.  “…Sid really did think she’d found herself a friend.  Yeah, I know that losing those belts hurt too…but this is different.”

“Different, how?”

Dani was silent for a moment as she tried to reason out the answer.  “I don’t know…but I think it’s bad, whatever it is.”

---

SIDNEY’S RESIDENCE
The Following Day

The buzz of her phone pierced her ears like the thudding of a jackhammer on concrete.  She cursed as she reached across, her hand fumbling around on the nightstand before finding the cursed device that had awoken her from her stupor.  Sid put the phone to her ear, without bothering to open her eyes. “What?!” She said, her voice gruff and still slightly slurred.  The cheerful voice of Angelica Vaughn assaulted her ears, causing her to wince.  The irritating girl had been constantly calling her since everything that had gone down with Gina went public.  Sid had been dodging those calls like Neo dodged bullets in The Matrix, but this time she had been caught off guard. 

Sid covered her face as Angie poked and prodded her about how she was doing.  Sid considered hanging up on the girl, but she knew that would prompt even more calls.  Instead, she opted to just cut her off.  “Look, Angelica…Dear, this isn’t a good time for me.  Maybe we can talk at May Day…Captain to Captain, okay?”  Sid’s statement seemed to perplex Angie, giving Sid the chance to hang up. 

“…stupid girl…” Sid muttered under her breath as she turned over with a groan.  It was much too early in the morning to be calling people anyway.  Through sleepy eyes she could see the time on the clock was 2:37 PM.  Sid grunted, throwing the sheets over her head.

---

Sid sat in the confessional, wearing dark shades to cover her reddened eyes.  “Can we get this over with quickly?  I have a plane to catch and a Captain’s match to win at War Games!”

The Producer sounded understandably perplexed.  “Sidney…you do realize that you’re not a Captain for May Day…right?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?!”  She gave a dismissive wave of her hand.  “Do you have something else to ask me?!”

“Well, you made it clear that I can’t ask you about Gina Van Zyl, so-”

Sid raised her hand to stop them.  “You want me to talk about what happened with Gina?  Here…I’ll talk about it for the first and the last time, understand?  No more questions about her after this!”

“Of course.”

Sid gathered herself.  “I put Gina in a very tough position.  I realize that now.”  She paused, taking a sip of black coffee to wake herself up.  “It was understandably difficult for her to see me skyrocketing to fame as the Anarchy Champion, The King of the XWF, and then Universal Champion.  She knew that she was never going to be the success that I was…that she would just drag me down…hold me back, like an anchor…like a…child.”  Sid paused as her own words seemed to hit her.  “Everyone wants me to be angry with her, but I’m not.  How can I be angry with someone for opening my eyes to the truth.”

“What truth?”

“The idea that you can have everything you deserve and the love of those around you at the same time is a lie.  They will always hold you back…and in the end you’ll grow to resent them for it…and their jealousy will make them despise you.” Sid shrugged her shoulders.  “I think I knew it long before I ever had her.”

“Are we still talking about Gina?”

Sid sighed.  “Yes, obviously!”

The Producer paused, likely considering pursuing Sid’s slip of the tongue, but instead they passed over it.  “Well, that’s a pretty cynical view of things.”

“It’s how the world works.  The sooner everyone sees that, the better off we will all be.”  She glanced at her watch.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me…I have a plane to catch and a Captain’s match to win.”

Sid got up and walked off, even as the Producer called after her.  “But…you’re not a Captain!”

---

What a volatile few weeks I’ve had!  I rose…not just to the highest peak of Anarchy, but to the very top of the XWF itself!  King of the XWF and Universal Champion, all on the same night.  That is rarified air for anyone…to even achieve one of those accolades.  My greatness will never be equaled and by all rights, I should be spiking down the football and taking my victory lap as I head off into the sunset to enjoy being immortalized as one of the greatest of all time…but…if recent history has taught me anything, it has taught me that my natural state is to be on top…no matter where I go or what I do.

So, it’s on to May Day to prop up that event as the premier Captain for the team that everyone will want to be on…and why not?  I’m the King of the XWF…the rightful Anarchy and Universal Champion…titles I never should have lost…and titles I mean to get back.  May Day is one of the first steps for me along that path…but it’s not the only one in my immediate future.

On Thursday I return to Anarchy, the brand that I put on the map as ‘must see television’ when I won the title!  People can say whatever they want, but the truth of the matter is that I ran the table at March Madness, forcing everyone in the XWF to put some respect on the name of that struggling brand while I was there.  Since I’ve been gone, the only way they have been able to pop a rating is by promising what would be the biggest rematch between the faces of Anarchy, myself and Ruby.

Now, I have to admit…yes, I was wrong when I blamed Ruby for attacking me from behind and costing me my championships.  Obviously, when I destroyed her in the ring and ran her out of the wrestling business, her story was finished and her claim to being the greatest Anarchy Champion of all-time was as flaccid as Centurion on date night.  Yet, somehow the bookers have seen fit to advertise Ruby’s return for just one more match.

I don’t think that Ruby is going to show.  I beat her so badly in our first match that she didn’t even come back for the massive retirement celebration that I threw for her.  That was before I was King…before I was Anarchy Champion…before I was Universal Champion!  How badly would I beat her now, when there is little to no doubt that I am the best wrestler on the face of the planet?

Still…I honor my commitments.  So, when and if Ruby is stupid enough to show her dumb face in MY company again, she is going to do it on MY terms and in the match that I created and the XWF ignored, costing me my Universal Championship…a Last Call Match!

It’s simple; win by pinfall or submission, but if you attempt a pin or a submission and you fail, the match stops and you must take a drink.  No, not some pussy domestic beer or watered-down piss water…the good stuff!  If you can’t wrestle worth a shit when you’re sober, imagine how hard it will be when you’re three sheets to the fucking wind! 

I do this every single night without this stipulation. 

If I was putting money down, my bet would be that Ruby doesn’t even show up and I wouldn’t blame her.  Ruby’s Anarchy is dead and gone.  I killed it like I did her career and in it’s place a forged a new Anarchy beyond all the silliness that was so pervasive during her time.  I brought respectability…I brought credibility…and I brought sustainability!  With my name associated with Anarchy, it’s moved on from being the “B-Show!” it’s moved on from being the joke of the entire XWF that she made it out to be!

So, whether Ruby shows up or not, it doesn’t matter because she’s already behind me.  Just like I have always done, I will elevate…and I will outshine everyone they put in front of me.  I will take the mediocre and throttle greatness from its rotting carcass.  I will return to Anarchy and begin the climb to take back what is mine…and it all starts with reclaiming my Anarchy Title!  It doesn’t matter if it’s HGH, Edward, or Chelsea LeClair who has what belongs to me and pretends to be Champion in my place…know that The King has returned to take back what is mine by right!

…and whether you want to or not…you will all drink to that…