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MAYDAY 2! At Ye' Ole' Commune!
Author Message
Dolly Waters Offline
Always.



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
05-07-2023, 08:37 PM

…5 Days Ago…


MSNBC Reporter: Deja Vous, anyone?

We’re bringing you live to Coreytopia, Florida, the site of the legendary XWF event MayDay, where two years ago an estimated one-million fans swarmed this secluded nook of South Florida for a free wrestling event. And as you can see-


[Image: gettyimages-50461195-1513965794.jpg]

MSNBC Reporter: -a massive crowd has formed again, in anticipation for MayDay 2! Lets now go live to the gates of Coreytopia where the fans are awaiting entrance onto the property.

Hippie fan who loves free shit #1: Hey, man! It’s May first, when are they going to let us in?

Hippie fan who loves free shit #2: I don't know. The gates weren't even locked two years ago…

He looks around noticing black shirted pillars of muscle carrying batons,

Hippie fan who loves free shit #2: …and there weren’t any security guards either.

Hippie fan who loves free shit #1: Well, this time things were advertised like crazy. I’m sure they’ll open up soon. But in the meantime-

The fan pulls a rerolled cigar from his pocket and grins at his friend, as he begins sparking a lighter.

We suddenly hear the echo of a megaphone:

Put the blunt down!

Dolly Waters,the host of MayDay 2 appears on the security wall of the Coreytopia property, speaking into the detached mic of a megaphone in her hand,

The gates to Coreytopia will open in ten minutes. Please dispose of any drug, or alcohol paraphernalia, and have yer’ 50 dollar entrance fee ready.

The crowd begins roaring with disapproval,

Hippie fan who loves free shit #1: Hey, man! This show is supposed to be free!

The wrestling event, XWF MayDay 2 is completely free!

However, to view the wrestling event, one must purchase tickets to the MayDay 2 music festival which will be taking place for the next five days.


Hippie fan who loves free shit #1: Well… I guess that’s fair, but no drugs? C’mon. What’s a music festival without drugs and booze?

No need to worry! Because included in yer’ MayDay 2 admission is a package of my third eye chakra tea… Dolly’s Divine Timing.

Hippie fan who loves free shit #2: Oh shit! Psychedelic tea? Niiiiice. Who all’s playing at the concert?

If y’all thought Natalie Merchant was great two years ago, wait until you see what we have in store for you this year. It’s a legendary lineup of post-grunge, numetal, divorced dad anthems!

The fans share some glares of skepticism,

and it starts, NOW!

Welcome to MayDay 2!


Hippie fan who loves free shit #1: I sure hope this tea is strong.








LIVE FROM YE' OLE' COMMUNE







COREYTOPIA, FLORIDA




A SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

Corey Smith
- vs -
ALIAS

One Fall





TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH


Noah Jackson
- vs -
Isaiah King©

Ladder Match





FATAL FIVE-WAY CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDERSHIP

Jay Omega
- vs -
Michael McBride
- vs -
Reggie Estrada
- vs -
Cadryn Tiberius
- vs -
RoboGravy

One Fall




TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

"The JustUS League"
(The Blue Tango and The Atomic Bat)
- vs -
SAGA ©
(Raion Kido and Jason Cashe)

Tag Team - One Fall





Mark Flynn
- vs -
The Generic Heel

XTreme Rules Match





WARGAMES CAPTAINS BATTLE ROYALE LUMBERJACK MATCH

Thunder Knuckles
- vs -
Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Angelica Vaughn
- vs -
'Notorious' Ned Kaye
- vs -
Vagabond
- vs -
Dolly Waters

Lumberjacks: The 24 Roster Members Of The WarGames Draft Pool

Over-The-Top Elimination Rumble





[Image: oPBdkzE.png]
UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Bobby Bourbon
- vs -
Raion Kido ©

Best Two Out Of Three Falls




The camera feed opens up in a familiar setting…

[Image: sturgis-road-wild-98.jpg]

It’s the massive courtyard behind Corey Smith’s mansion, where our wrestling ring and entrance area have been staged. Near the entrance area sits the commentary booth, where we clearly see Heather Halliwell, and barely see Pip Collins, making their way to their seats.

...what are y’all doin?

But they’re intercepted, by none other than the host of MayDay 2, the resident Gypsy Queen of the XWF, Dolly Waters.

HHL: Um, well we’re trying to go do our jobs-

Dolly holds her hand out, stopping Heather mid-sentence,

MayDay 2 is a celebration of international workers day, Heather.

HHL: But that was five days ago…

That’s right! A five day celebration… see how important worker solidarity is to me? Why don’t you and Pip grab a seat, kick yer’ feet up and just enjoy the festivities, I’ve got the commentary team covered.

Heather shrugs, while Pip jumps in the air, pumping his fists.

And taking a seat at the commentary booth, is none other than XWF Legend, former Universal Champion…

Thaddeus Duke

He waves to the cheering audience and puts on his headset,

Grab a seat Dolly… I can’t tell you how excited, and honored I am to provide color commentary with you again

Thad, I really appreciate you stepping up to do commentary again, but I won’t be joining you this year…

Well, I guess I can do both color and-

No, no, no… don’t worry.

I’ve got yer’ play-by-play coming out right now…


Hey Dookie!

It’s none other than the Nickleman, Charlie Nickles, stepping out from behind the curtain and grabbing a seat next to Thad. A wrestles him around the shoulder for an awkward hug and noogie. Thad jerks aways.

Touch me like that again and we’re fighting







A SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

Corey Smith
- vs -
ALIAS

One Fall


As the… err… hometown(kinda?) boy, Corey Smith, waited in the ring, the lights around the entire makeshift stadium slowly dimmed until nothing was left.

And Corey, like the rest, waits.

And waits.

And waits.

As the wait continues, a murmur trickles its way around the crowd, carrying with it a memory.

Two years ago, a million strong all rejoiced as the king was slain.

Today, they remember.

"When I just a little girl…"

One lone voice begins to sing.

The memory takes root as more join in.

"...I asked my mother, what will I be?..."

A few voices become many.

Rising! Rising!

"...Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?..."

An entire choir takes root!

The memory is no longer distant, it is here! It is May Day once more!

For the people! By the people!

And buy some tea while you're at it.

"...Here's what she said to me…"

The entire crowd joins in as the fever in which May Day 1 ended, reignites here at the second coming.

For the second coming.

The crowd belts out "Que Será, Será" at the top of their lungs, filling the void in the absence of any music. They interrupt themselves to roar a little as a lone spotlight falls upon the entrance way, before getting back to the job at hand.

And in the spotlight… behold, a white horse!

Gently it plods its way towards the ring, undeterred by the raucous singing around it. It carries no man upon its back, just an omen.

For the seventh trumpet has sounded.

Elsewhere, a boulder has been rolled away from the opening of a tomb.

And then, the light was gone. And the horse with it. All was empty, and the crowd's noise began to die. Until…

A spark.

A cigarette alight.

It ain't going to light itself.

The lights rise. The fans do too to their feet.

Risen.

'He' is.

Corey turns. Standing behind him in the ring, is ALIAS.

He flicks his cigarette out of the ring, where it snuffs itself in the ground.

And he doesn't take his eyes from Corey.


The official calls for the bell, and the match is underway.

Here we go!  Two of the greatest to ever lace a pair of boots and for the record… Let’s go Corey!

Two of the greatest? Where? Is Mini-Morbid hiding under the ring?

Both men stand in their respective corners, neither budging as they stare one another down. There’s a loud gust of wind that rips between them, sending ALIAS’ bangs fluttering off to the side of his head.

Smith rolls his neck, and grabs onto the ropes, pulling down and stretching out his arms.

ALIAS steps forward to the center of the mat, and Corey joins him there, yet neither speak a word or raise a fist.

Looks like Cheddar Al is playing some more mind games with Monsieur Smith here. I wouldn’t be surprised if these two were having some sort of telepathic arm wrestling match, right here in the middle of the ring! Look at the intensity in their eyes!

They stand toe to toe as the crowd begins to roar so loud that the cameras are shaking.

Corey looks to the left, ALIAS to the right. The crowd begins dueling chants of these two legends' names.

Corey and ALIAS again lock eyes.

They nod.

Then they lock up!
ALIAS uses his size advantage to push Corey into the ropes. Smith raises his hands up trying to wedge his arms between him and ALIAS to halt an irish whip attempt. It works, but ALIAS still brings Corey to the mat with an arm drag.

Before Corey can even get settled on the canvas, ALIAS is digging into his collar bone with an effective clawhold. Smith’s face twists, his teeth grind. He grabs onto ALIAS’ hand and tries prying it free. It takes a moment, but Corey is able to control the hand, the wrist, and then flip ALIAS over his shoulder.

Haha, ALIAS just lost!

What are you talking about?

It’s a first fall match, Thad, and Corey just made Thaddeus fall! The referee will be stopping this any minute now!

*groans*

ALIAS lands on his rear, and Corey is up, darting for the ropes and quickly connects to ALIAS’ lower back with a sliding baseball kick.

ALIAS flings back in a way that already has him turning to mount Corey who’s still on the mat behind him. He goes for a mounted attack, but Smith is able to fend him off with a knee to the sternum.

That’ll knock the wind out of anyone… ALIAS though… it’s never quite long enough.

I don’t know about that one, Thaddeus: remember I pinned ALIAS down for three seconds with just a roll-up. Sometimes, it’s the simplest moves that can catch the icons off guard! Enough knees to the sternum could cause anyone’s heart to combust!

Corey scoots back on his rear near the ropes, and grabs onto the middle one, pulling himself to his feet as he watches ALIAS stand, unaffected by any of the offense thus far. Corey circles him, rotating his shoulder with a grimace before charging back in.

He goes for a kick, but ALIAS grabs the leg and dragon-screws him back to the mat. A forearm bashes across Corey’s forehead before he’s covered.


1!




EARLY KICKOUT!

C’mon Cor’!

Am I supposed to be rooting for ALIAS just to keep this commentary fair? That’s a line too far, EVEN FOR ME!

ALIAS climbs off of the pinfall and tries to snag Corey up, but Smith is already scrambling back to his feet, backpedaling, throwing kicks as ALIAS easily fends them off and bullrushes him into the ropes.

He snatches the blocking Smith up, flips him and cracks his spine across his quad with a spinning backbreaker.

ALIAS covers again!

1!






EARLY KICKOUT AGAIN!

Yes!

Keep it in the bedroom….geez….we’re supposed to be fair and unbiased here like Fox News, alright?

Corey again tries rolling away before ALIAS can grab him from the mat, but this time Space Jesus doesn’t allow Corey to maneuver away. He has Smith and whips him hard into the corner, so hard that Corey flips awkwardly up, and over the top rope, where he crashes down onto the apron.

ALIAS is charging.

Corey stands on the apron just as ALIAS rushes in for an attack. Smith’s eyes go wide as he sees ALIAS charging.

Corey leaps and dropkicks ALIAS through the ropes, sacrificing his own body as he falls out to the floor forearms first.

The impact from the falling dropkick to ALIAS’ chest, sends the former Universal Champion stumbling down, but only to his knees, where he’s able to quickly recover and head to the outside. He sizes Corey up from the apron and just as Smith stands, ALIAS leaps off with a diving double axe handle, but the nimble Smith rolls, stands quickly and kicks ALIAS in the stomach midair.

Alright!  Momentum shift!  Let’s get your hot little ass in gear now, Corey!

Stop sexually harassing the talent! You do that enough on the LFL team you own, you don’t have to do it here, too!

For the first time in the match, Corey appears to have caused some real damage to ALIAS, he doesn’t want to squander the opportunity of capitalizing. He chops ALIAS across the chest several times, sending him into the barricade where he takes a few steps back, and rushes in, connecting with a well executed helluva’ kick. ALIAS spills over the barricade, as the ref’s count reaches 7

That count is getting close! Someone needs to get back in the ring, because if this thing ends in a double-count out I think there’ll be a riot!

Corey’s eyes go wide, he darts back toward the ring, rolls up the ropes and breaks the count, before going to retrieve ALIAS.

Corey reaches over the barricade, and grabs ALIAS by the hair. If he’s going to defeat Space Jesus, he wants it to be a decisive victory in the ring. He pulls Space Jesus up…

 

OUT OF NOWHERE!

ALIAS UPPERCUTS COREY FROM BEHIND THE BARRICADE!

No!  Has anyone ever checked that forearm for illegal weapons?  ALIAS is a whole fuckin’ weirdo with a perverted sense of right and wrong.  I’d bet on him cheating.

He OBVIOUSLY cheating, Thad! I don’t know how, but he obviously is! How else could ALIAS have beaten me so many times in a row? It just wouldn’t make sense! And now, he’s using those same dirty tricks on Corey!

Corey lifts in to the air and falls back awkwardly into the ring steps.

Executing the move clearly took a lot of ALIAS as he too falls over the barricade.

Both men are down as the ref counts

1



2



3



4


ALIAS begins to stir, while Corey is still motionless lying on the steps

5


6

7

ALIAS’ eyes go wide now!

8

He too darts back to the ropes, breaking the count before going to grab Corey.

Smith is still out of it.

ALIAS rolls him under the ropes and into the ring where he covers!


1!











2!!











KICKOUT BY SMITH!

Yeah, this is definitely the point in the match where ALIAS would have pinned me, no ifs ands or buts about that one! I don’t know how Corey’s survived this long!

Come on Corey!  Get back in it!

He seems pretty out of it, Thad!


The crowd is roaring with approval, as ALIAS comes to his feet first, but Corey is slowly on his tail.


ALIAS WHIPS COREY TO THE ROPES!


BUT COREY REVERSES!


SPINNING BACK FISTS TOPPLE ALIAS!

In a way, I wish that busted through his ugly face like a fuckin’ shotgun!  Just blood and brain matter everywhere!

Oooooookay edgelord.

COREY COVERS!

1!








KICKOUT!

Gahh!  Dammit!

But before ALIAS can begin to recover, Corey is already back ontop of him, with a standing moonsault!

He just did some flippy shit! This might be it!

Corey covers again!




1!










KICKOUT AGAIN!


Don’t relent, Cor’!  Keep on him!

Corey needs a lot more than encouraging words if he’s going to keep ALIAS down, Thad!

Corey doesn’t look phased by ALIAS’ resilience, he knew what he was getting into, but the self doubt that he had entering the match appears to be gone. He’s running for the top rope. He leaps to the top quickly and waits for ALIAS to stand…




A DIVING SPINNING NECKBREAKER!



YES!



IS CAUGHT!



NO!

AND COUNTERED INTO A FIERCE BACKBREAKER!


Make up your mind, Thaddeus!


Both men are down in the center of the ring!



ALIAS crawls to a corner and sits down, rubbing his chin and watching Corey crawl to an opposite corner.

Smith looks dazed as he pulls up by the ropes, his eyes meeting ALIAS’.


This could be any man’s match now. This has been back and forth all night, but I get the sense we’re nearing the end of the line!


ALIAS rises to his feet now. He claps in Corey’s direction who nods back at Space Jesus, the crowd is on fire for this match as the two men move gingerly to the center of the ring.


SPINNING BACK FIST!


But ALIAS ducks the attack, a grabs Corey’s arm, dragging his head under his arm…



DDT!


BUT COREY SPINS OUT!


A SURPRISE THROAT PUNCH LANDS!

Pounce, Corey!  POUNCE!

ALIAS’ EYES ARE WIDE, HE GASPS…


THE OTHER LEFT!


THE FIERCE RIGHT HANDED SMACK FROM ALIAS SENDS COREY SPINNING IN THE AIR JUST AS ALIAS FALLS TO HIS KNEES!

ALIAS is trying to gather his breath from that stunning throat punch, before he crawls near Corey. He goes for the cover!


1!




BUT IT’S ACTUALLY COUNTERED INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!



1!




2!!






ALIAS kicks out!


Son of a BITCH!  He kicked out!  I might need a cigarette if Corey wins this thing!


I’m trying to get off the drugs. I can give you my old stash if you want! Corey and ALIAS will BOTH be needing some of my special healing rocks after this complete slobberknocker!


Both men are to their feet, but ALIAS is to his feet with a ton of veracity! He chokes Corey and pushes him into the turnbuckle! Corey is trying to escape, climbing backward up the ropes. As he gets to the second rope, ALIAS still has the choke locked in, Corey lifts a knee but does little damage. So he climbs up further, to the top, but ALIAS keeps the choke locked on, but one handed now, climbing up after Corey.

But now Smith has nowhere to go.


ALIAS LIFTS HIM!


CHOKESLAM FROM THE TOP!



IS COUNTERED BY A HURRICANRANA! 


Dreams really do come true!  ALIAS has wanted his face in Corey’s crotch for years!


What the fuck, Thad?


BOTH MEN CRASH TO THE CANVAS!


COREY COVERS!!!


1!










2!!











KICKOUT!


This match might kill me, Charlie!

If we could only be so lucky. Maybe we can get rid of you, Corey, and ALIAS all in one go if this match keeps going off the rails!

Smith pulls up to his knees, panting, exhausted, digging for the strength to try and put ALIAS away. He grabs ALAIS by the hair and stands, pulling ALIAS up to his knees…





 





IS DODGED BY SMITH!




 

FROM SMITH TO ALIAS!



COREY HIT ALIAS WITH HIS OWN UPPERCUT!



Corey covers!



1!










2!!
















FOOT ON THE ROPES!



ALIAS JUST GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!


*Grunts and gripes unintelligibly*

That’s a damn good point, Thad! Now you’re finally making some sense!

The crowd gasps, as Corey shakes his head in disbelief. He crawls away from ALIAS and gives the former Universal Champion time to stand. ALIAS pushes up off the mat and Corey charges in!

FACE PAIN DE-LUX!









IS CAUGHT BY ALIAS!




HE SPINS COREY BY THE LEG!




FACE PAIN DE-LUX FROM ALIAS TO COREY SMITH!



THIS TIME ALIAS STEALS COREY’S MOVE!









THE CROWD IS GOING WILD!






ALIAS COVERS!






1!

















2!!
















KICKOUT!


Thank fuckin’ God!  Come on Cor’.  Come on bud.

Why wasn’t this the main event? Sorry Bourbs and Kido…but holy fuck!

This contest has been an absolute war! Both men are slow to their feet again, and Corey goes for the finish! But the roundhouse kick is avoided!


ALIAS WITH AN UPPERCUT!

But it too is avoided!




But ALIAS comes right back with




EAT THE LEFT HAND!








But Corey catches ALIAS’ wrist!


He’s holding back with all of his might. ALIAS’ fingertips pushing right near Corey’s lips as the two men stand in the center of the ring. Corey has to grab ALIAS’ wrist with both hands now, pushing back as hard as he can…





EAT THE RIGHT! 







- - - FACE PAIN DELUX!



Just as ALIAS brought up his right hand to attack, Corey shifted, releasing ALIAS' left and struck him in the head with his signature roundhouse kick.



Corey’s face is white as ALIAS falls to his knees.



ALIAS’ head is wobbling, the lights are on, but nobody is home…










EXTRA FACE PAIN DE-LUX! 









DOWN GOES ALIAS!








Corey collapses ontop of ALIAS…










1!



















2!!















3!!!



Winner - Corey Smith



YYYYYYAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!  Imma need a towel for clean up.

Why do people say I’m gross? Does anyone even listen to the things you say? What a great win for Corey, but it’s a shame it’s being spoiled by that soiled spot in your trousers, Thaddeus!

The fans give the competitors a roaring ovation, and after some time, both men are to their feet. They limp toward one another in the ring, Corey holding his ribs with a hand extended to his friend ALIAS.

ALIAS grabs Corey’s hand, shakes it briefly, and raises Corey’s arm into the air, as the fans applaud. He exits the ring, and is given a cigarette by an audience member. He lights it, and swiftly vanishes into the crowd.





TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH


Noah Jackson
- vs -
Isaiah King©

Ladder Match


The Television Championship ascends into the lighting rafters above the ring and the bell rings!

Noah immediately slides out of the ring, putting as much distance between him and the champion as possible.

Smart move from Noah Jackson! It’s always best to start a fight off with some light cardio, really get the blood pumping!

King scowls, and exits the ring from the opposite side, immediately grabbing a ladder and bringing it back inside.

Noah is beside himself as he watches the champion place the ladder up. King smiles, and winks at Noah as he begins climbing the rungs.

Seem like a miscalculation on Noah’s part.  It’s a good thing he’s cute.  It covers up all that dumb.

Aren’t you married to a woman? What the hell….

Jackson slides back into the ring and nears the ladder, going to knock it over, but King hops down and goes on the attack.

King tries to grapple Noah, who runs away while throwing shin kicks, until l he again climbs through the ropes and exits the ring.

King shakes his head as Noah stands on the outside barking obscenities, and starts climbing the ladder again. This might be one of the fastest ladder matches in recent history! King is already on the top rung, and has his hand on the championship belt!

IT MIGHT BE GAME OVER ALREADY! KING IS MAKING SHORT WORK OF THIS ONE!

BUT JACKSON!

He hits the ring just in time and pushes the ladder over just as King is about to unhook the strap. King takes a nasty fall, his legs straddling the top rope. King is gasping for air. Noah spits in his face and smacks the champion as King slides off the top rope and falls to the arena floor.

This is Noah’s chance! He has to turn down the CUNT and run UP that ladder now that the champion is on the floor!

What would you know about winning ladder matches, Charlie? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get halfway up a ladder!

I may not be good at ladder matches, Thad, but I damn sure know what it takes to win the TV championship!

Noah points at King and laughs before turning and setting the ladder up himself. Just before climbing, Noah peeks to the outside, and sees King is already getting to his feet. Noah panics and darts up the ladder, but his foot gets hung up, causing him to lose balance as he nears the top.

The ladder becomes unstable, rocking back and forth, and just as King enters the ring, the ladder nearly falls on top of him.

Quick thinking from King, he barely got out of the way in time!

The current champion was almost turned into ladder food!

Isaiah is forced to grab the ladder, and set it back upright to avoid it falling on him. Up above, Noah laughs:


THANKS CUNT!


Jackson reaches for the belt!


He has it in his grasp!


But King pushes the ladder in the opposite direction!


THE CUNT IS FALLING!


Jackson leaps from the top…. INTO THE WORLD’S SICKEST MOONSAULT!


He’s not falling, Charlie: he’s FLYING!


IT’S A PICTURE PERFECT MOONSAULT!


It’s the most beautiful moonsault I’ve ever seen!

…and Isaiah King simply moves out of the way.

Jackson smacks violently onto the mat, which gives Isaiah King the opening he needs.


Oh shit…I think he might be dead…..

The cost of going into business for yourself in the XWF, Thad! Remember that!

What?

King sets up the ladder again, he begins climbing the top…

Somehow, someway, Noah Jackson is slowly climbing up on the other side. King shakes his head, as Noah doesn’t notice that the Television Champion is stalking him from the other side of the ladder.

Just as Noah peeks to the top of the ladder…








G.O.D!!!

King leaps up and wraps around Jackson, pulling him all the way to the canvas with the guillotine DDT. The fans gasp, shriek, and roar in unison.


The ring is shaking after that!


He’s showing everyone that he is the reigning and defending champion for a reason!



King absorbs a great deal of damage, but after a moment, he’s able to recover.

He climbs the ladder again as Noah lies motionless in the center of the ring…

That sick cunt is out of it!

That sick cunt might really need to go see a doctor now!

Isaiah secures the Television Championship, and sits on the top ladder rung, raising it into the air just as the sun is beginning to settle down over Coreytopia.


Winner- and STILL Television Champion- Isaiah King





As the camera panned around Ye’ Ole’ Commune, they catch sight of the former Universal Champion, Sidney Grey walking around the outdoor venue, followed by her Executive Assistant, Dani Chow, holding an umbrella over Sid to shield her from the sun.  Steve Sayors is quick to approach The King of The XWF to get a few words about her participation.

Steve Sayors: Sidney, would you mind giving the fans a few words about your participation in the Wargames Lumberjack Match?

Sid gave a dismissive sigh.

Sidney Grey: Well, obviously I’m going to win it.  I’m the rightful Universal Champion and reigning King!  You’d be a fool to bet against me.

A confused look came over Steve’s face.

Steve Sayors: Errr…you’re not IN the Captain’s Match…you’re a lumberjack.

Sid stared at Steve, then erupted into laughter.  When Steve didn’t laugh along with her, her expression grew dour.

Sidney Grey: Wait, you’re serious!  HOW IN THE FUCK AM I NOT A CAPTAIN?!  DO THEY NOT KNOW MY CREDITIALS?!

Steve Sayors: To be fair…you were almost not even in consideration to be selected by a Captain.

Sid stood there, silent as the realization slowly washed over her.

Sidney Grey: I’m not a Captain?

Steve Sayors: No.

Sidney Grey: Who are the goddamn Captains if The King of the XWF isn’t one?!

Steve Sayors:  Thunder Knuckles

Sidney Grey: Is that an actual person?  I swear, I thought that was what they called a shot to the crotch that ended a match!  Who else is a fucking Captain?

Steve Sayors:  Your daughter-in-law, Sarah Lacklan.

Sid drew back her fist and Dani had to all but tackle her to her from punching Steve’s lights out.

Dani Chow: MISS GREY, NO!!  HE NOT MEAN TO CALL HER DAUGHTER!!

Steve cowered away from her, nearly falling into the pool with his eyes wide with fear.

Sidney Grey: WHO ELSE STEVEN?!

Steve swallowed.

Steve Sayors:  Angelica Vaughn…?

He said, with much caution.

Sidney Grey: Angelica!  Yes…finally, someone willing to install me as Captain!

Steve Sayors:  I don’t think it works that way.

Sidney Grey: It will Steven, I’m a Captain!

Steve Sayors:  Well, no…but Ned Kaye is a Captain.

Sid frowned.

Sidney Grey: Wait!  How is HE a Captain and NOT ME?!  Didn’t I beat him clean in the middle of the ring on my way to becoming King?

Steve Sayors: Well…no, not really.

Sid rolled her eyes.

Sidney Grey: Agree to disagree.

Steve Sayors:  It’s literally on video.

Sidney Grey: THERE ARE LITERALLY NO MORE BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO STORES STEVEN!

Steve Sayors:  There’s like…one, in Oregon or something.

Sid gave a dismissive wave.

Sidney Grey: That’s not even a real place!

Steve Sayors:  Agree to disagree.

Sid gave Steve the finger.  He cleared his throat and pressed ahead.

Steve Sayors:  Vagabond is a Captain.

Sid snorted, shaking her head.

Sidney Grey: Now you’re just making up names!  If you wanted to make it exciting, you could have told me that sexy ass Isaiah King was in the match!

He rubbed his temples and sighed.

Steve Sayors:  Dolly Waters is the final Captain.

Sid perked up a bit.

Sidney Grey: Dolly…I wonder if her eyes are finally open.

She grinned sadistically, walking away as Dani hurried after her.






FATAL FIVE-WAY CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDERSHIP

Jay Omega
- vs -
Michael McBride
- vs -
Reggie Estrada
- vs -
Cadryn Tiberius
- vs -
RoboGravy

One Fall



As the Fatal Fiveway is scheduled to begin, we see a motley assortment already in the ring: Jay Omega, Reggie Estrada, Michael McBride, RoboGravy, and finally Cadryn Tiberius. But just as the bell rings, RoboGravy’s thigh opens up and he produces a futuristic looking gun. All the other competitors hit the deck (with Jay no doubt withing he’d brought some of his own firepower) as the ref rushes over to RoboGravy. The ref barks for the android to turn over his firearm, but RoboGravy refuses. Instead, he levels the weapon at Cadryn, who tries to skitter out of firing range but its no use. The gun fires….releasing a net?! The net, made out of some kind of sticky substance, attaches Cadryn to the ring ropes, he’s totally ensnared.

That Robot brought a gun to a fistfight! It’s a genius idea! RoboGravy is clearly ready to do anything it takes to earn the XTreme, Television, or Tag Team title shot of their choosing!

Is…..is Cadryn dead? Was he just shot?

Of course it was nonlethal, as not dealing undue damage to his opponents is one of his prime directives. RoboGravy turns to fire the net at Omega, but he and Estra seem to have come up with a plan! They rush RoboGravy, with Estrada going high and Omega going low. Estrada knocks the gun out of RoboGravy’s hand and Omega brings the robot down to the canvas, after which they both proceed to stomp the hell out of him.

Meanwhile, McBride, seeing Cadryn helplessly caught in that web of sticky netting, decides to pound the hell out of him.

Atta boy, McBride! Take advantage of every opportunity!

Just a few short weeks ago Cadryn was the X-treme champion…and now….things are getting ugly for him in there.

That’s probably why everyone is teaming up on Cadryn, as a former Xtreme champion they know he has what it takes to get that title shot under wraps!


I don’t think everyone’s focusing on Cadryn, Charlie!
After a protracted beating, RoboGravy gets kicked out of the ring by Estrada and Omega, who naturally then turn on each other. Estrada swings at Omega, who blocks and returns fire with his own shot. Estrada responds by irishing whipping Omega into the ropes, Omega ducks the lariat on the rebound and then springboards into a forearm shot to Reggie!

What an athletic combination!

Reggie’s going to feel that one tomorrow morning, assuming he ever wakes up before noon!

Then, having done his damage to Cadryn, McBride turns his attention to the competitors feuding in the ring. While Omega is distracted, he hits a gut punch to him followed by a scoop slam. Or he would have if Omega hadn’t somehow turns the scoop slam into a roll up!

1….



2…..NO! McBride kicks out!


Just like that the match was almost over. Meanwhile, RoboGravy gets to his feet on the outside and clambers back into the ring in an ungainly fashion. He starts looking for his net gun when Estrada rolls him up from behind!

1….



2…..ROBOGRAVY kicks out!

RoboGravy responds by grabbing a helping of Estrada’s hair and nailing him with some piston fired right hands before finishing him with an uppercut.

We are full steam ahead now! Everyone wants this shot badly, and no one is giving an inch!

We almost had two endings to the match, back to back! This could be a wild ride to the finish!

Meanwhile, poor Cadryn, who was busted open by McBride, is still trying to get out of RoboGravy’s net. He manages to get an arm through and he’s trying to peel it off, but only succeeds in getting his hand stuck to the outside of the net!

Omega and McBride are still squaring off, with McBride chopping Omega into the corner before he gets a bright idea. McBride jerks Omega out of the corner and goes to whip him into the sticky netting, but Omega changes course at the last minute, sending McBride flying into Cadryn! Cadryn gets knocked out by the force of McBride colliding with his head, and now McBride is also stuck to the net! Omega claps his hands together as if to say “that’s that” and he turns his attention to Estrada and RoboGravy who are now throwing down near the opposite corner. Omega tags Estrada with a spinning wheel kick, only for RoboGravy to intervene and pick Omega up by his throat, chokeslamming him into the middle of the ring. RoboGravy covers Omega…

This could be all she wrote!


1….


2…..NO, Jay kicks out!

Jay Omega is giving it everything he’s got tonight!

Just then, Estrada lands on both of them, having splashed them from the top rope. But the pain of landing on RoboGravy’s carapace sends him rolling about on the mat in agony. RoboGravy decides to capitalize by heaving Estrada up and planting him with a pulling piledriver! He covers Estrada now!

1….


2……Estrada kicks out!

There we go, Reg! Damn, we’ve got former champions all up and down this bitch! This match really is anyone’s game!

I think this is the first time we’ve agreed all night, Chuck!

Well then…I take back what I said! Fuck you!

As that’s happening, McBride is trying to work himself free of Cadryn and the netting. Realizing it’s really just his ring trunks that are stuck to the netting McBride decides to slip out of them! Thankfully he’s wearing underwear (shamrock boxers naturally), but nonetheless he returns to the fray….only to get rocked by a sick lariat from RoboGravy! McBride goes ass over tea kettle and Robo Gravy goes to pin him too, but Omega smears up behind RoboGravy and tosses him up and over the top rope before leaping on McBride for the cover!

1….


2…..

This is it! It’s over!

We finally have a winn-

3….NO! McBride barely rolls the shoulder out!

You’ve got to be kidding me!

I thought he had him!

This is when Estrada goes to capitalize, picking Omega up from behind and dumping him with a german suplex onto the back of his head. Estrada keeps the heat on McBride then, landing a spinning leg drop on him before hefting McBride up and hitting him with the move he calls the Glenn’s Park (STO Backbreaker). But just as soon as the move happens, Estrada eats a dropkick from Jay. Jay then leaps to the top turnbuckle and nails a quick Five Star Frog Splash on McBride. McBride gets covered again!

1….



2….



3…..WAIT, ROBOGRAVY PULLS OMEGA OFF MCBRIDE BY THE ANKLE AND TO THE FLOOR!

He would’ve been down for the count if that Robot didn’t interfere!

But that Robot wants a title shot, too- so he can’t let anyone else win!

Omega gets up quickly, only to get leveled by RoboGravy, who returns to the ring. Estrada immediately launches himself at the android, pulling off a flurring of punches and kicks trying to get through that armor. RoboGravy responds by headbutting Estrada, dropping him to the mat. Estrada wisely rolls into a corner to recover.

Meanwhile, Cadryn is once again conscious inside the netting, but lets out a shout of frustration to realize he’s still stuck in this predicament. Then, he spots Reggie nearby, just barely within reaching distance. He goes to try to grab Reggie to pull him into the trap as well, when RoboGravy plants a boot on Cadryn’s wrist and punches him back into unconsciousness through the netting. RoboGravy picks Estrada up on his shoulder after a few quick strikes, but Omega is there to chop block RoboGravy’s knee. RobyGravy and Estrada both go down.

And just like that, half the competition falls to the ground!

I’m sensing an opportunity for someone, but for who?!

At the same time, McBride (still thankfully underwear clad) is back vertical. He sizes up his opponents and seeing only Omega up locks up with him. McBride tries to go for a belly to belly suplex, but Omega reverses it into his own belly to belly suplex, and McBride lands right on top of RoboGravy! McBride bounces back off, feeling the pain in his back when Omega, fast as lightning, drops McBride with the RIDE THE LIGHTNING! HIs finisher! Omega rolls McBride over and covers him!

1….


2…..



3…NO! ROBOGRAVY BREAKS UP THE COUNT!

Again! Another kickout!

Five man matches don’t end easy, Chuck!

That one was fractions of a second away from the win! RoboGravy picks Omega up and dumps him down with a short arm clothesline. Estrada then jumps on RoboGRavy’s back and topples him over onto McBride, which is good enough for a cover!

1….



2….




3….NO! OMEGA BREAKS THE COVER NOW!


Omega then mounts RoboGravy, punching him in the fleshy part of his face, before turning to Estrada, who kicks Omega, but Omega turns it into a single leg takedown that sends Estrada through the ropes. Omega picks McBride up again, but RoboGravy grabs his ankle and trips him up. RoboGravy stomps on Omega as Omega tries to roll away.

There’s so much action going on in the ring, I don’t even know who to watch!

Watch that Robot!

RoboGravy then picks McBride up and nails a pump handle slam on him! RoboGRavy goes for the cover!


1….



2….



3…..OMEGA RUINS ANOTHER PIN ATTEMPT!

RoboGravy, clearly not appreciating this, grabs Omega by his hair and looks to toss him out of the ring, but Omega instead skins the cat right back in, and surprises RoboGravy as he tries to clothesline him back out by pulling down the bottom rope on him. RoboGravy’s own momentum sends him crashing to the outside right on top of Estrada!

Only McBride and Omega are left in the ring!

They should form an alliance and just challenge for the tag team title belts together! They could call themselves OMcBrida! Or McMega! Both are great!

I don’t think Omega feels like playing with anyone but himself, Chuck!

Seeing his chance, Omega resumes his attack on McBride, wrenching him up and dropping him with yet another RIDE THE LIGHTNING! He covers!


1….



2…..



3!!!!!

Omega wins! He gets his title shot!

WINNER: JAY OMEGA






We go backstage, or rather, behind the scenes, to the wild grounds of Coreytopia. Half naked beautiful people traipse about, red Solo cups in hand, several bars standing and serving, anything you want. Booze, eats, drugs, all is available. That’s when we see, among the stunning model quality folk everywhere, sticking out like two sore thumbs, Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles, Them No Good Bastards. They exchange a no-look fistbump. The fans all start going absolutely ballistic at the sight.

Welp.

Yep. We’re at Corey Smith’s fucking house.

I walked through the kitchen, mine’s better.

TK laughs.

That was rather catty of you.

Bobby half shrugs, like if Shawn Warstein had palsy.

Well, Charlie got the cushy gig today, and Dolly’s off conjuring all these drugs, I think, so I guess this is the BOB locker room today.

Lilabeth, the little girl who, via charitable causes, occasionally hangs out with TK, is seen approaching. She’s in a light blue dress, looks rather sickly, and is rolling around in a giant hamster ball.

Hi Bobby.

Oh, shit, you brought a kid here?

Well, it was my day to hang out, she wanted to go to a big wrestling show, and really, what’s bigger than MayDay? So I looked on eBay for a bubble suit like from Bubble Boy.

That makes sense.

Crash Rodriguez, new signee to the XWF and long standing member of BOB from other companies approaches! He’s chiefing on a huge stogie, grinning ear to ear.

Well boys, it’s done. I signed my contract today, you’re looking at an official XWF Superstar now.

Al-fucking-right!

Awesome, welcome bro! ‘Bout time you got here!

Right on! So, uh, what do I do now?

Bobby and TK look at each other then back at Crash.

Whoop ass.

Yeah, just go beat the shit out of people like you do. Also, you have a really cool name, so that helps.

Bet.

Crash gives daps to TK and Bobby, then wanders off to look at the dime pieces everywhere and cut his path through the XWF, same as every XWF star has, only to find himself infront of the MayDay 2! Concert venue...









TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

"The JustUS League"
(The Blue Tango and The Atomic Bat)
- vs -
SAGA ©
(Raion Kido and Jason Cashe)

Tag Team - One Fall



The crowd watches on in anticipation for what’s next.

The Tag Team Championships, one of the most wildly contested set of titles in XWF history, and I know I have a story or two about them, right Charlie?

Well, you know the division is nasty right now, not only the two teams competing tonight, but squads like Team HSU and even us in BOB can send any two members in to take a shot!

I’d hope they sent you.  Kind of an easy night for SAGA then.

I’m 3-0 against Jason Cashe and Raion Kido, but I guess you’ll say anything just to try and hurt my feelings, huh? Prick.





The fans look on, as on a massive XTron we see the images of The Blue Tango and the Atomic Bat, shaking hands, ready to take on crime their opponents. At that moment, we see a car drive out onto the entrance ramp!

[Image: maxresdefault.jpg]

The roof of the Atomic Tangomobile slides open, and The Blue Tango hops out of the driver’s seat while The Atomic Bat hops out of her side of the car! The dynamic duo of the Bat and the Tango confidently make their way down to the ring as the car drives itself away from the entrance! The engine somehow fires up to full throttle, and the car careens towards the beach and into the ocean!

TIG: Aaand making their way to the ring, hailing from the Atomic Tangocave, at a total combined weight of 335 pounds, challenging for the XWF Tag Team Championships, The Blue Tango and the Atomic Tango, the JustUS League!!!



The crowd goes wild as on the entrance ramp, pyro fires off. Jason Cashe walks out holding a microphone, and beside him is Raion Kido. The crowds all roar in approval as Cashe looks out into the massive sea of party people, agog.

CASHE: “Yo, cut that music!”

The music stops. Kido keeps calmly walking to the ring, his focus entirely on the JustUS League. Cashe goes to work on the stick, and he’s wrestling in Miami Storm jersey tonight!

CASHE: “Yo, Coreytopia! Who here tonight is auditioning to be the SAGA Mascot?”

Ohhh not this again!


Jason needs to answer the important question: is this a paid gig? I might know a few people who are interested if it’s paid….

The crowd goes absolutely insane, louder than they’ve been all night it seems! The music kicks back up, and as Kido stands ringside, he looks back with a smile as Cashe stage dives off the entrance into the crowd! Cashe crowd surfs his way to the ring, and meets up with his partner! Both men enter the ring.

TIG: And their opponents, defending the XWF Tag Team Championships, at a total combined weight of 462 pounds, representing SAGA…

Cashe steps up to Tig, and smiles at her. She blushes coyly.

TIG: Jason Cashe and Raion Kido!

The crowd goes crazy as the referee checks each man for illegal objects, giving the same instructions to them as he gave the JustUS League. Kido and Bat step to the apron in their respective corners and we start with

[Image: MV5BOTBhYjZjNDktZDE5NC00M2I1LWEzYmEtOGU2...X1000_.jpg]

Hey it’s Tango and Cashe!  I’ve seen that movie.

Well just don’t spoil the ending of this match for the rest of us! This should be a great one!

(sp?) in the ring. The bell sounds, and Tango and Cashe waste no time meeting in the center of the ring! Cashe goes to tie up, but the Tango waltzes out of the way, sidestepping him! Cashe recatches his balance, and squares up again, ready to tie up! Tango shoots in to accept the lock up, but it’s another fake, but this time Cashe catches Tango with a quick knee to his gut, doubling him over!

Ha!  Got ‘em!

I expected better from Jason Cashe than these cheap and dirty tricks. Tricks like these are unbefitting to a tag team champion. I wonder how Raion Kido feels about watching this kind of wrestling from his teammate?

Cashe with a hammer blow to the Blue Tango’s back, then another, sending Tango crashing to his hands and knees on the mat! Cashe raises his fists, triumphantly, much to the dismay of the crowd that was completely behind him mere moments ago, and to the chagrin of his partner. Cashe walks over and tags in Raion Kido, who enters the ring and watches as the Blue Tango gets back to his feet. Kido goes for a tie-up, and finally Tango ties up with someone in this match. Kido transitions from the tie up into an arm wrench, torquing on the Blue Tango’s arm. Tango counters this, gliding into a hammerlock! Kido throws a back elbow at the Blue Tango, backing him into the ropes, but the hammerlock is still in! Blind tag from the Atomic Bat onto the Blue Tango! Bat springs into the ring, and shoots off the ropes! As she does, Tango releases the hammerlock and drops down, grabbing the top rope, and the Atomic Bat dropkicks Kido, sending him over the top! Kido catches the top rope as he goes over, and smoothly lands back on his feet as he does! Tango is on the mat, hands off the rope, as Kido springboards onto the top rope, and dives at the Bat with a clothesline! The Atomic Bat counters with a leaping hurricanrana, sending Kido down to the mat! Bat stays on top of Kido for a pinfall!

This could be it for the tag champions! The challengers have come out red hot and they’re looking to score the early victory!

That hurricanrana was impressive, but I don’t think it’s anywhere near enough to keep Kido down!



1…








2…






Cashe in to break up the pin!

I never understood why tag teams will go for a pin when the victims partner is still standing?  You know they’re gonna break it up!

Jim Jimson never once broke up a pin for me, Thaddeus, so you just have to remember that every team is a little bit different! What’s good for the goose might not be good for the gander!

Tango, enraged at seeing this, scrambles to his feet and without thought, tackles Cashe through the ropes to the outside! Both men spill to the floor as Tango mounts him, throwing rabbit punches! As this goes down, Kido and Bat are both back to a vertical base! Kido throws a punch, and Bat parries it perfectly! Bat with a counterattack, which Kido blocks! Kido throws a rolling savate kick, which the Bat sidesteps! Bat with a high leaping roundhouse, that Kido ducks! Both throw high roundhouse kicks, and their shins connect with one another, and both step back. The crowd is going absolutely wild, and both circle each other as outside, Cashe has gotten the upper hand and thrown the Blue Tango into the ring steps! Tango collides with steel with an immense clanging sound, and Cashe follows up with a baseball slide on the ringside floor straight to the Blue Tango’s little Tango!

Ouch.  Here’s hoping for his sake he’s not so well endowed.

What’s with you and all the penis talk tonight? Cut it out, Thad: this is family friendly programming!

Kido looks on, dumbfounded, by his partner’s actions. Bat just gets into action. Bat shoots off the opposite ropes, then bounds back towards Cashe, some kind of aerial maneuver destined to fail on her mind, and Kido instead catches Bat on the rebound with a hip toss, hurling her over the top rope and crashing to the floor below! Kido looks on as she lands, Jason Cashe laughing at The JustUS League left lying on the floor. Tango looks up at his partner in anguish, helplessly grabbing his very sore crotch as Cashe simply picks the Atomic Bat up and rolls her small body into the ring. Raion Kido looks at her with some disdain as he pins her.

1…









2…













2.9…















2.9...

The Atomic Bat gets a shoulder up!

Whew!  That was close!

I thought Raion Kido had him there, but the power of cartoons and anime seems to have switched sides in this match!

The fans all go absolutely nuts for Miss J, and Kido looks annoyed that this isn’t over yet! Cashe rolls back into the ring and the referee begins the five count, but by now, Raion Kido has shot the Atomic Bat into the ropes! Cashe catches the Atomic Bat, off the rebound, with a huge U.T.I, and to follow up, Kido lands a standing moonsault onto her for the pin! Cashe leaves the ring, and the referee doesn’t count as she observes Cashe leaving! Once gone, she turns and counts the pinfall!

1…




2…











Kickout! The Atomic Bat refusing to give up, not tonight of all nights, to win the Tag Team Championships! Kido rolls his eyes, and brings the Atomic Bat up to her feet! Kido points directly at the Atomic Bat.


LIGHTNING BOLT!

Kido throws the Lightning Bolt, but the Atomic Bat ducks! The bat throws a thigh kick, then another thigh kick, her energy almost entirely spent, her breath heaving from the violence she has endured tonight, but her spirit continuing her forward, and she throws a third kick, but as she does, Kido, without signalling it, throws the Lightning Bolt, and it connects! The Atomic Bat drops to the mat. Kido looks down at the Atomic Bat, some lesser hero, knowing this was a foregone conclusion. Kido shakes his head in disapproval, turning and tagging in his partner, Jason Cashe. Cashe saunters over to the fallen Atomic Bat and places a foot on her chest.





1…












2…



















Kickout!

This match for the tag team championships is somehow still going on! She kicked out! Can you believe that? She actually kicked out!

Opportunities like this don’t come easy, and the Atomic Bat is clearly leaving it all in the ring tonight!

Cashe rolls his eyes as the Atomic Bat sluggishly rolls away onto her stomach. Cashe nudges her with his foot, rolling her back over, but again she continues until she’s on her stomach. His frustration now at peak levels, Jason picks up the Atomic Bat and sets her in the corner. As blood trickles from the Atomic Bat’s nostrils, Cashe simple goozles her, gripping her throat with his right hand. He starts to shout in her face, and the cameras ringside pick it up.

CASHE: “You think this dress up shit is a game? Neither you nor your partner are walking out of here! Who do you think will save you?”

The Atomic Bat, struggling with a hand around her neck, looks back at him defiantly.

ATOMIC BAT: “My partner.”

Cashe laughs, then looks back on the floor where he left the Blue Tango. The Blue Tango is nowhere to be seen. Cashe laughs even harder.

CASHE: “Where is he?”

Without hesitation, the camera catches someone up in the rafters.


It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s, it’s-


[Image: QUOKOHATCVB5ZA3JCPUYABQL7U.jpg]


IT’S HER PARTNER!


The Blue Tango, now dressed in a very different costume, plummets from the rafters but spreads his cape just before landing without a sound. He stands behind the unawares Cashe.

BLUE TANGO: “I’m right here.”

Cashe, terrified, spins. The Blue Tango looks at him, menacingly.

CASHE: “Who are you?”

The Blue Tango grabs Jason Cashe by the collar of his LFL Jersey.

BLUE TANGO: “I’m Batman The Blue Tango. I want you to tell your friends about me.”

Cashe goes for a headbutt, but his head recoils off of whatever the Blue Tango’s current mask is made out of. Tango throws a solid shot to Cashe’s stomach, then a spinning backfist to his jaw, which causes Cashe to pivot! Cashe is hit with a drop toe hold by the Atomic Bat as the Blue Tango turns and walks towards Raion Kido, finally diving at him and sending both outside! The Atomic Bat locks on the Batrap!


This could be it right here! That hold is locked in tight!

I don’t think Jason Cashe ever expected this, not even in his wildest dreams!

I don’t think the Blue Tango expected this either, to be entirely honest!

Cashe struggles…








Cashe looks for assistance getting out of this, but the Blue Tango and Raion Kido are outside!








Jason Cashe taps out!

WINNER BY SUBMISSION: THE JUSTUS LEAGUE


As Tango and Bat accept their new Tag Team Championships, Raion Kido enters the ring to check on his partner. Cashe has gotten to his feet, and he’s nursing his sore right shoulder, and starts to chew out Kido for not helping him out of the submission hold! Kido looks baffled since he wasn’t the one who tapped out. Cashe turns his back to Kido, and Kido grabs Cashe’s shoulder. Cashe immediately spins and nails Kido with a hooking elbow! Kido reels back, and Cashe rolls out of the ring, walking back up the entrance alone!





We see Thunder Knuckles with Lilabeth wondering the MayDay 2 grounds, he comes across the concert venue...

He frowns

Man, this is just not as cool as last year.



Following that badass performance by Scott Stapp...

Backstage, while preparing for his Universal Championship defence in the main event, Raion Kido re-enters his locker room space.

A small haze greets him and he furrows his brow as he tries to locate the source.

It doesn't take long.

On the table he sees…

[Image: cigarette-cigar.gif]

A note sits next to the still burning cigarette.

He quickly reads it, and the XWF camera crew work super hard to get a great shot over the shoulder. How convenient.

"Another time, dear friend…

A.


Kido looks confused, and quickly stubs the cigarette out in the ashtray before getting on with his preparation.




This next match was scheduled to be an X-Treme Title match! Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances…

If there’s one thing for sure in the XWF, it’s that Xtreme champions will always drop the ball when they think they’re about to lose it anyway.  Big ol’ pussy move.

I believe we have a clip?

Quote:The Generic Heel is walking along the road, when from out of nowhere comes a flying hammer. It hits him in the head and he goes down.

Kris The Hammer Von Bonn comes running up and makes the cover.

Liam Desmond, wearing thick protective glasses and goggles, makes the count with a hammer!


1.......





2...........


3!


Winner and NEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW Xtreme Champion: KRIS VON BONN!


So, this is not an X-Treme Title match. Is it still X-Treme Rules?

Judging the ring right now… I’d say yes.

Indeed, the ring is strewn with weaponry. Chairs on the ropes, tables resting in the corners. Four barbed wire bats stick out of the turnbuckles. And hanging above the ring on a rope is a bag of thumbtacks!


My doood!  Thad sprays some febreze at Charlie.

Hey what the hell!?

You’ve been down wind all night.  The wind shifted and I just caught a whiff.

You know what, Thad? I’ve been holding in a nasty shit all night, and I think this fake championship match might be the perfect opportunity for me to spend twenty minutes dropping a deuce and jerking one out. Do you know if that little midget man could come cover me for this match?

What? No, Pip Collins isn’t even in the arena!

Well….I’m not going to be able to call a Mark Flynn match fair and square at all, because that dude fucking sucks and I hate everything about him. Maybe that really cute commentator lady could take my place for this match? I saw her chowing down on two hotdogs at the same time in the cafe earlier.

You know what, Charlie? That’s a great idea.



Eleanor Rigby (Strings Only) Plays


Mark Flynn bursts through the black curtain. Boos rain down upon him.

…For once, his expression isn’t blank. He grits his teeth into… a smile? He waves.

He tries to genuinely high-five a few fans on his way to the ring. They all reel away a full feet from the railing as he passes, regarding him like he’s got the plague. Flynn scowls at being rejected by the fans and bitterly stews as the arena boos but continues a jog to the ring.

HHL: Mark Flynn, the Most Hated Man in the XWF, recently declared that he’s a… “good guy”... now.

He did?  I don’t think I believe him, but I support his endeavor.

Flynn jogs into the ring, up the steps. He beckons for a microphone.

HHL: This oughta be good.

Flynn sniffs as he grabs the mic. The crowd, used to trying to outvolume Flynn’s audio with a downpour of vitriol.

”LOOK!” Flynn starts, extending an arm out toward the audience. ”I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

HHL: Flynn, perhaps looking to calm the savage crowd…

This is MayDay… dumbass.

“See… I.” Flynn points at himself. “Am a GOOD GUY now.”

Oh, well I guess that settles it!

The crowd boos EVEN louder. Flynn’s face reddens as he leans over the ropes to yell.

“YOU DON’T BOO GOOD GUYS!” Flynn berates the crowd, shoving a finger towards them. “GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!”

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The crowd responds by starting a chant.

NOT! A! GOOD! GUY! *clap clap clap-clap-clap* Flynn’s eyes widen, indignantly furious!

NOT! A! GOOD! GUY! *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

“YES! A! GOOD! GUY!” Flynn tries to counter, by holding the microphone to the side of his mouth, then looking around like maybe someone else said it, should we all join in?

The crowd doubles the volume of their chant.

NOT! A! GOOD! GUY! *clap clap clap-clap-clap*

…Flynn sneers. Dropping the mic and kicking it under the ropes to the floor below.

…Suddenly, from under the X-Tron, a stage lifts. An entire seated orchestra is lifted on an elevated platform.

They begin to play…

A live band plays "Thus Spake Zarathutra."


Bursting from behind the black curtain… It’s GH the Great!

The aisle is lined on both sides with some smokin' hot Asian chicks. They each ooh and ahh as GH passes, thrilled by his steely, chiseled, perfectly round body.

GH wears a robe made of the dreams of the youth…

HHL: Sounds like expensive material!

Pretty mid, in my opinion.

GH basks in the warmth and excitement of the crowd offering him some applause and cheers. As a heel, he is reviled. But as a legend of the sport, he is begrudgingly respected.

HHL: Generic Heel! What a career in the wrestling industry! A FORTY-EIGHT TIME WORLD CHAMPION! An undefeated streak that lasted nearly thirty years!

Is he Morbid Angel?  Sounds like his schtick.

HHL: But, while Kris Von Bonn is the new X-Treme Champion, there is no doubt that GH IS truly one of the greats!

Clearly.  You can just feel him roll his eyes.

GH walks up the steps. He sheds his robe and drops it in his corner.

Flynn does the same, dropping his own blue robe in his corner.

There’s nothin’ quite like two grown men disrobing in front of each other.

The two meet in the center of the ring.

Above the two competitors is Eight Foot Tall official, Jerome Tallman. He points down to the timekeeper, who calls for the bell.



Mark Flynn
- vs -
The Generic Heel

XTreme Rules Match - One Fall



Flynn takes a step forward and… Bares his teeth… Like he’s trying to smile.

He offers a handshake?

GH stares down at the hand, skeptically, like it might give him ring worm.

The crowd chants for GH not to!

Where does Dolly find these crowds?  They boo the guy telling them that he’s a good guy, but they support the guy whose name is literally Generic Heel?  So fickle.

HHL: Surprising sportsmanship from Flynn here in the opening moments!

In my experience, if Mark Flynn respects you… regardless of what his alignment is, you’ll know it.

You?

Yes.

Flynn looks around, his already uncomfortable smile turning into a gritting of teeth. He shoves his hand forward like ‘C’MON! SHAKE IT!’

GH…

Extends his hand outward…

The Crowd starts booing, begging, pleading GH not to do it.

Flynn’s face starts to rela-

GH RETRIEVES HIS HAND AND RUNS IT ATOP HIS LUCHADOR MASK! PSYYYYYYYYYCHE!

The Crowd cheers like GH just did a swanton bomb off the top of a Hell in a Cell with a broken neck!

Flynn covers his head with both hands like NOOOOOOOOOO!

HHL: A devastating psychological attack from The Generic Heel! Making Flynn think he was going to get a handshake, then psyching him out!

Flynn revolves toward the crowd to yell at them… But suddenly he tumbles backwards! GH goes for a rollup! With tights!

1!

2!

THREEEEEEEEEEEE-NO!

Flynn, despite the shock of the surprise roll-up, manages to weasel a shoulder off the ground!

HHL: Wow! What an upset that nearly was!

That would undoubtedly be an upset.  Flynn might not have had the best of luck lately, but it’s a matter of time before he’s clicking on all cylinders again.

Flynn backwards somersaults onto his feet… JUST as GH catches him with a European uppercut!

Flynn backsteps toward a corner, leaning onto the table resting there, but GH follows him in! GH spits on the back of his hand aaaaaaaaaaaaand

…A THUNDEROUS CHOP! Flynn’s chest turns BEET RED! Flynn doubles over, like he might get sick on the mat… BUT GH shoves him back into the corner… He freshens up the spit on the back of his hand aaaaaaaaaaaaand…



A CHOP SO HARD IT COULD KNOCK DOWN A REDWOOD! GH ACTUALLY CHOPS SO HARD, HE BREAKS THE TABLE IN HALF!

Flynn flops through the broken wood covering his chest, agonized.

HHL: GH might have the single best chop in the business!

GH grabs Flynn out of the corner by the scruff of his neck… He puts him in a front facelock, looking for a suplex…

He liiiii-

Wait! Flynn tucks his right leg behind GH’s ankle to block the lift! GH is forced to drop Flynn’s feet back to the mat!

When he does, Flynn keeps his foot in position and PUSHES! GH trips over Flynn’s ankle and lands on his back!

HHL: Oooh! Masterful counter by Flynn, using some fundamentals to will his way out of GH’s offensive barrage!

Ha!  Got ‘em!

Indeed, the crowd boos Flynn, whose face reddens. Flynn leans over the rope, pointing at his foot then GH.

”No! He tripped over his own feet! I didn’t do anything! I’M A GOOD GUY!” Flynn lodges complaint with the crowd’s booing.

It does nothing to change their hands.

Flynn sneers at the crowd, before returning to GH’s prone body to… GH tucks Flynn’s head, flipping him onto his back! INSIDE CRADLE!

1!

2!

THREEEEEEEE- C’MON!

No, somehow Flynn manages to slip narrowly out of GH’s grip and slip under the bottom rope to prevent more snap pin attempts!

The crowd urges Flynn to get back in the ring. Flynn instead scratches his head, muttering to himself.

HHL: Mark Flynn, maybe trying to think of how this match around in his favor.

Or how to get people to stop booing him. I don’t like his chances.

Flynn spins around back toward the ri- BASEBALL SLIDE FROM GH STRAIGHT ACROSS FLYNN’S CHIN!

SAAAAAAAAAFE!

Flynn backward-somersaults onto his ass, hitting the railing with the back of his head! He cradles his skull from the impact!

GH lifts his arm with a flourish and the crowd cheers.

HHL: What a showman!

GH reaches into the ring. He grabs one of the chairs that’s inside the ring from under the ropes!

He closes it, and smacks it on the ground… Just as Flynn stirs, lifting himself to his feet with the railing!

HHL: This match might be over in just a few moments…

Flynn’s eyes widen! GH swings…

…But Flynn nimbly leaps in a single bound from the floor to atop the railing! Just narrowly dodging GH’s chair shot!

GH spins back around… Just in time for Flynn to deliver a dropkick into the chair, SENDING INTO GH’S FACE!

GH is sent back toward the railing! Flynn lifts his arms with a flourish like, pretty good, huh?

The crowd boos once more.

”OH C’MON!”

Flynn shakes his head, as he grabs GH by the neck and tosses him under the bottom rope.

GH tries to crawl to some temporary respite, but Flynn stays over him like a shark that smells blood in the water.

Flynn circles the fallen GH, stomping him on the head! The shoulder! The ribs! The knee!

HHL: Perhaps trying to tenderize GH before tapping him out to one of Flynn’s many submission holds.

I’ve felt most of them… they all hurt.  Like a lot.

GH twists up to a seated position, trying to get back onto his feet and fight back… But Flynn wrenches his arms behind his back! Surfboard Stretch!

Flynn wrenches GH’s arms apart like a bowflex machine! GH groans, agonized, he leans back, trying to ease some of the strain on his shoulder blades…

BUT FLYNN HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! GH naturally reels forward right back into the incredible strain of the stretch!

Flynn screams at him to tap out or Flynn’ll break both his arms!



“For justice!”

…GH tries to wiggle to the left…

But Flynn holds tight, shifting him back to the center….

…GH tries to wiggle to the right!

NO GO! Flynn once again counteracts GH’s counter! Flynn will not release the hold!

The crowd cheers, begging for GH to fight through the pain!



…GH lifts his foot. The crowd falls to a hush… Will GH tap out?



NO! Like Butter, GH scootches his ass across the mat, elongating his body! Flynn holds to GH’s arms… BUT GH extends the tip of his toe to the bottom rope!

The crowd cheers!



BUT FLYNN HANGS ONTO THE HOLD!

GH is still in pain as Jerome Tallman stands above Flynn counting!

1!

2!

3!

Flynn releases the hold! He spins on Jerome!

”I HAVE ‘TIL FIVE!”



”But… Uh…”

Flynn clears his throat. Grabbing Tallman’s hand and shaking it.

“Thank you for your service.”

HHL: …Flynn thanking Jerome for his officiating… Immediately after screaming at him for enforcing the rules.

He’s adjusting!  Old habits die hard!

Why aren’t you anti-Flynn?

Because I like Mark Flynn.

GH crawls into his own corner, as Flynn looms over him… Flynn grabs GH’s ankle, just as GH grabs his robe!

Flynn starts to drag him back into the center of the ring… BUT GH rolls and tosses his robe into Flynn’s face!

The crowd cheers with delight as Flynn struggles to free the robe from his face! He finally pulls himself out… IN TIME TO EAT A DROPKICK FROM THE GENERIC HEEL!

The robe flies up and over the top rope as Flynn somersaults backwards into his own corner! GH tries to follow up that strike by dragging Flynn from the corner by the ankle… Flynn claws desperately, grabbing the bottom rope… GH tugs harder and harder, certain to break Flynn’s grip!

…But Flynn sees… His own robe in his own corner!

GH pulls Flynn off the ropes!

Just in time for Flynn to toss his dazzling blue robe into GH’s face!

GH rips the robe free from his face, just as Flynn catches him with a running dropkick to GH’s face!

GH is flat on his back, rubbing his jaw!

Flynn kips up off the mat! Lifting his arms in triumph!

The crowd jeers and shames for Flynn for his underhanded tactics…

Flynn is in disbelief!

“YOU JUST CHEERED HIM FOR DOING THE EXACT SAME THING, YOU FUCKIN’...”



“Good… People…”
Flynn grits his teeth, grabbing his skull.

He makes a good point!

GH clambers back to his corner… And grabs the barbed-wire bat sticking out of the turnbuckle!

Flynn sees this and rolls backwards to his own corner, grabbing the barbed-wire bat sticking out of that one.

The crowd is on its feet now!

…Flynn rotates the bat in his hand…

GH grips it tight with both hands…

The two swing!

THE BATS CONNECT! And the barbed wire entangles between them!

Flynn lifts his foot and kicks off GH’s chest! GH stumbles backwards… But clings to his bat!

And Flynn flops forward from GH’s stumble as the two bats stay connected!

HHL: The two barbed wire bats have completely become entangled in each other, Pip!

Probably why you don’t see many fencers wrap their blades in barbed wire!

Flynn clings to his bat… But drops to one knee and rotates! GH hangs on and gets arm-dragged by the bat up and over Flynn’s back!

GH springs to his feet… But empty-handed!

Flynn has both bats! He lifts them to the air triumphantly!

The crowd boos!

GH tries to escape to the outside to regroup… BUT FLYNN SWINGS DOWN ONTO THE ROPES! GH puts the brakes on to avoid catching a barbed-wire bat to the face!

GH tries to escape to the ropes behind him. BUT FLYNN SWINGS DOWN THERE TOO!

HHL: Generic Heel is in no-man’s land out there!

Flynn rotates both bats in his hands like a true swordsmaster! GH is cornered, nowhere to escape!

FLYNN OPENS HIS STANCE FOR MAXIMUM POWER! HE SWINGS DOWN WITH BOTH BATS!!

…But GH hits the mat and slides between Flynn’s leg like a penguin tobogganing on its belly!

Flynn is shocked looking between his legs as GH… Who flips onto his back and kicks Flynn in the ass!

Flynn is propelled forward! AND HIS FACE CONNECTS WITH HIS OWN BARBED WIRE BATS!

The crowd cheers as Flynn’s muscles seize and tense. He reaches up and tries to quickly… YANK… the barbs out of his face…

Ewwwwwww!

Flynn, bleeding out of his face like a stuck pig, spears the bats down to the outside furiously, like it’s their fault he got beat on that exchange!

Flynn spins around in the corner… Just in time for GH to leap to the second rope! MONKEY FLIP!

Flynn flips through the air twice, landing on his face! The crowd is in a frenzy now, screaming GH! GH! GH!

Flynn scampers up to his feet… As the Round Mound that Astounds leaps in a single bound from the mat onto Flynn’s shoulders! HURRICANRANA!

WOW! Pure athleticism!  Feel the sarcasm.

…Flynn is looking dazed and confused as GH circles around the ring, clapping his hands! He’s asking if the crowd is ready for the grand finale!

GH points to the bag of thumbtacks above the ring! The crowd cheers!

GH jumps!

…But it’s out of reach.

He leaps!

…Nothing doing.

HHL: Hmm, it’s possible GH only had one good jump in him tonight.

…Suddenly, Jerome Tallman reaches up and takes the bag down and hands it to him!

The crowd pops for Tallman as GH nods thanking him!

HHL: Possible favoritism on display here from XWF Official Jerome Tallman.

Crooked officiating in the XWF!?  That would never be a thing!  More sarcasm.

GH unties the bag and begins dumping thumbtacks out onto the center of the ring…

Flynn shakes off the cobwebs, gathering his senses, as he stumbles back to his feet. His eyes catch the thumbtacks.

He shakes his head!

”NO!”

The crowd screams YES!

”NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Flynn tries to scramble out of the ring, to get as far away from the thumbtacks as possible… BUT GH catches him in a waistlock and drags him back into the ring…

GH spins Flynn in place, locking him in a frontfacelock! He calls for a suplex ONTO the thumbtack pile.

HHL: Flynn is in serious trouble here, I don’t see HOW he can get out of this one…

Tallman takes a closer look at the front facelock, making sure Flynn doesn’t sneak in a thumb-to-the-eye…

Flynn’s eyes widen! He sees a chance!

GH GOES TO LIFT!

But Flynn takes his right foot…

..

And kicks out…

JEROME TALLMAN’S ANKLE! Jerome, like a house of cards, falls forward…

ONTO GH! Flynn narrowly slips backwards out of GH’s grip, falling back into the corner…

HHL: TIMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

AND TALLMAN like a fallen oak, collapses onto Generic Heel!

CRUSHING HIM ONTO THE PILE OF THUMBTACKS!

…Oooooooooh, the crowd is silent and horrified.

You smell that?  Not you this time… Smells like… karma.

Flynn shakes his head… He stumbles with what little energy he has left to the center of the ring… And peels the fallen Tallman off…

And in the center of the ring, flattened like a pancake. Embedded onto a pile of thumbtacks like sequins…

The Generic Heel. Eyes wide! In obvious, palpable AGONY.

Flynn peels the Heel off the mat. His back is a PIN CUSHION! HUNDREDS OF TACKS, BURIED into his back and ass.

Flynn snatches the heel by the arm and shoves his face to the mat!

FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

GHl’s hand shakes…

The crowd screams for him to fight on… Not to give up!

GH can’t let the children dow-

POP!

HHL: Ooooooooh.

PIP: That… Ooh, that didn’t sound good.

Flynn dislocated GH’s arm.

GH can’t tap out quick enough.

WINNER BY SUBMISSION: MARK FLYNN


Flynn springs up off the mat, only to fall to his knees like he just won olympic gold!

He wipes the blood and sweat and tears from his face… He lifts his arms!



And the crowd only boos.

HHL: Yet another shameful victory from Mark Flynn tonight.

He played within the rules stipulated by Dolly Waters and XWF Management!  All is fair in Xtreme rules!

”STOP BOOING ME! I’M A GOOD GUY NOW!” Flynn screeches, as he slides under the ropes to yell at the crowd.

HHL: Clearly, a more devious evildoer there never was than Mark Flynn.

Flynn waves off the crowd, walking up the ramp. Furious.



Suddenly, one person claps. A second. A third!

The entire arena starts applauding!

Flynn spins around! Smiling! Is this it? Has the XWF Universe finally acc-



Nope, they’re applauding GH who is being wheeled up the ramp on a stretcher, giving a thumbs up to let the people know he’s going to be okay. His face winces with pain as a nurse peels one thumbtack at a time out of his ass.



Flynn shakes his head, disappearing behind the curtain. ”Un-be-LIEVABLE.”




The camera cuts backstage, where the XWF Universal Champion is making his way to the locker room. However, a familiar voice soon calls his name…

“Hey there Kiddo- err, Kido. Old habits die hard.”

Kido: “Nickles.”

Charlie Nickles, aka The Nickleman, is posted up against an open doorway directly in front of Raion Kido’s path. The Champion jostles the belt around on his shoulder as he eyes his long-time foe with suspicion.

”Bet you didn’t think you’d be seeing me here.”

Kido: “Even if I was not aware you were a commentator tonight, I should know better than expecting Bobby Bourbon to be without his Brotherhood, should I not? So what is this all about? Are we having a reprise of what happened last year?”

There is, of course, a certain air of tension between the Champion and the Nickleman.

”But I mean, like this. Back here, in this intimate setting. After all this time we’ve still only met backstage just once before…”

The Nickleman takes a step off the doorframe, quickly approaching the universal champion with an extended arm.

”I just wanted to say, before anything too hectic happens tonight-”

Charlie reaches out to Kido with an open palm, as if to slap him: but instead of landing on the champion’s tender cheek, Charlie’s hand lands on the plate of his championship belt.

”Congratulations on the gold. You’ve done something I seemingly never can, and never will be able to do: and you’ve now done it twice in just a year. I think you really might have *it*, Raion. Try your best to not let the pissants and mongrels in the back take your *it* away, no matter what they put you through. Lord knows they took mine away years ago, and they’ll never give it back.”

The Lion looks at the Nickleman’s hand, then at his face, uncertain of what to do - after all, he hasn’t forgotten what happened the first time the former Television Champion and him met one-on-one. But then Nickles goes on speaking.

”I’ll be watching you out there tonight, but don’t worry: I won’t get involved. Tonight is just about you, Bobby Bourbon, and the millions of fans expecting an all-time great match. No pressure, of course.

I’d tell ya to break a leg but, with my history, I think you might take that as a threat! So take it easy big fella, and good luck out there. But not too good of luck, because Bobby is one of my best friends, even if he is a rotten bastard at the end of the day.”


To this the Lion makes a barely perceptible nod.

Kido: “Four times now have Bourbon and I faced, and this one shall be the third one-on-one. But now it’s for the biggest prize there is, and I shall make certain that I haven’t cashed in the Leap of Faith briefcase in vain. Bourbon might talk the way he does, but deep down, he knows what I can deliver - as you now say I do.”[/color]

The Nickleman pats the champion on the shoulder before walking past him, leaving an open doorway in front of Raion. But just before the camera cuts away, Charlie turns back around to Raion briefly.

”Oh, and before I change my mind….I just wanted to- no, needed to- say one more thing.”

Raion Kido turns around with a raised brow as The Nickleman lets out a hearty sigh.

Kido: “Which is?”[/color]

”I wanted to ap-ap-apol…..I wanted to say s-s-s-or-sor….well, I wanted to tell you I regret the way things went down between us at the beginning of your contract here. I saw a rising star and I wanted to extinguish the flames, but I don’t think you’re the type to get snuffed out. I think you’ve proven that. Good work, champ.”

The Nickleman tips an invisible fedora to Raion Kido before quietly ducking behind a corner and heading further into the mysterious bowels of the arena.

Kido: “That’s about as good as I’m going to get, and it was hard enough for him to get this far, so I’m going to take it as such.[/color]

Drawing a sigh, the Lion takes two fingers to his forehead, and waves them in the way of the Nickleman.

Kido: Accepted, Nickles.”[/color]

And then, of course, it is time for the Lion to leave on his own path as well.




Meanwhile, on the vast and wild grounds of Coreytopia, we see the Xtreme Champion Chris “The Hammer” Von Bonn. He is kicking out of pins left and right. We see the Literal Gorilla, taking a night off from the Gorilla position, simultaneously playing a game of checkers with one of the Bing Bongs and a game of chess with the other. One of the Bing Bong twins notices Von Bonn, and rolls him up in a schoolboy!

1…



2…

The other Bing Bong peels his twin off of Von Bonn! He wants the Xtreme Championship! He pins Von Bonn.

1…



2…

Bing Bong one hoists Bing Bong two off of Von Bonn, and they both pin each other in a twist, leaving Von Bonn alone! The Hammer, looking flustered, turns to walk away…


…and walks right into a Literal Gorilla. The Gorilla swings at Von Bonn, but he ducks! Von Bonn races away, and the Gorilla gives chase! The Gorilla catches Von Bonn near the soundstage! He throws Von Bonn off the stage and into the crowds, where fans from all walks of life get in pin attempts! The Literal Gorilla climbs the massive structure, some five stories high! He starts to throw barrels, which were conveniently and bizarrely left up here! Von Bonn has had enough, and he starts racing up towards where the Literal Gorilla is having had enough of his monkey business! He climbs a ladder, and true to his namesake, finds his Hammer! He smashes a barrel. It all looks like this.

[Image: donkey-kong-nintendo.gif]

Finally, Von Bonn realizes he’s not defending his title, so he doesn’t need to fart around with this Literal Gorilla, and he leaves! The Literal Gorilla drops down from the top of the structure and stands on the stage. The fans are going wild, and start chanting in unison!

*DOWN WITH NED!*DOWN WITH NED!*DOWN WITH NED!*DOWN WITH NED!*

The Gorilla, pleased with the sentiment, stands and soaks up the adulation as none other than Saliva takes the stage!








WARGAMES CAPTAINS BATTLE ROYALE LUMBERJACK MATCH

Thunder Knuckles
- vs -
Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Angelica Vaughn
- vs -
'Notorious' Ned Kaye
- vs -
Vagabond
- vs -
Dolly Waters

Lumberjacks: The 24 Roster Members Of The WarGames Draft Pool

Over-The-Top Elimination Rumble



I hate that you came back. I was really hoping you just went home after your little poop break.

I wouldn’t miss this captain’s match for anything, Thad! Two of my best friends are in this match, and some of my best enemies, too!

As all the captains stand apart eyeing one another up; the lumberjacks push and shove one another on the outside eager for the match to start cussing one another out and goading the captains.

DING! DING! DING!

The crowd roar in anticipation as each captain launches towards each other into a brawl in the centre.

Got a major clusterfuck going on here. That’s good news for my BOBble heads in the match!

Not much room for technique and strategy when six people are in the ring.

And Vagabond gets the rough end of it all as he is booted away by Lacklan and Thunder Knuckles and Dolly Waters turn in time to hit a double clothesline on Vagabond and send him over the ropes! The lumberjacks on the outside moving out of the way as Vagabond crashes onto the outside!

VAGABOND ELIMINATED



Their room for technique ad strategy with five people, Thad? The BOB strategy is already working great!

Dolly and TK dap each other up but are quickly descended upon by Angie and Sarah with forearms and are whipped into the opposite ropes; TK and Dolly bounce back and are hit by stereo dropkicks from Team HSU. Kaye waits in the corner biding his time trying to hush Noah who keeps trying to talk to him. TK and Dolly stand back up quickly as Lacklan and Angie descend on them again; both hitting the ropes but Angie is tripped by Corey Smith as she hits the ropes and falls face-first onto the canvas! Lacklan charges forward but TK launches in and nails a nasty clothesline on Lacklan!

FUCK YES! KILL THAT BITCH! I Mean, uh- look at that technique!

Geez louise….harboring resentment much?

Leave the good Doctor out of this, Thad!

Sarah spins in the air before dropping to the mat and Dolly rushes in for a knee drop onto Lacklan's mush. TK picks Lacklan up by her arm and Dolly takes the other and the pair whip Lacklan into the corner with intense force and she Falir flops over the turnbuckle and lands on the apron in a daze, the crowd get on their feet as Lacklan is almost out, Bobby Bourbon grabs Lacklan's feet and tries to pull her out but Angie wakes up and nails a baseball slide on Bobby saving Sarah!

Proving that blood is thicker than drafting order between these two!

They’re not really twins, Thad. They’re adopted.

Lacklan rushes through the ropes and gets back in the ring with a thank you to Angie but Vaughn is in a bad spot as Sidney Grey pulls Angie out of the ring and begins to lay the boots down onto her along with Cashe and Mark Flynn! A few lumberjacks on the outside try to maintain order pushing the three away and try to keep the match going.

On the inside Lacklan turns to see Angie getting stomped and begins screaming for order but Dolly Waters rushes in trying to surprise Lacklan with a knee lift but Sarah sees it coming and throws Dolly over her back and Waters lands precariously on the apron!

Thunder Knuckles follows suit looking to send Sarah over with a clothesline but Lacklan dodges out of the way and TK nails Dolly by mistake!

Waters is flung from the apron bowling over lumberjacks and she drops to the outside!

DOLLY WATERS ELIMINATED


FUCK!

TK also cusses at his mistake and turns to Lacklan, Angie Vaughn taking the moment of Dolly being eliminated to get back into the ring.

Ned Kaye sees his opening and launches in to get a forearm into Thunder Knuckles. Lacklan joins in and we get a rare team-up of Kaye and Lacklan as the pair throw strikes into Thunder Knuckles in rapid succession before booting him back with a dual superkick!

TK is flung back and Angie Vaughn kicks TK's leg out with a big soccer kick to the back of his calf and TK falls onto his back. Kaye turns to Lacklan and leaps up nailing a kick into Sarah's head and she drops to the mat; Kaye kips up and runs to the ropes springboarding off and going for a moonsault but Lacklan gets her knees up in time and Kaye kills his back; Sarah spins up to her feet grabbing Kaye's arm and wrapping it into a hammerlock, twisting as she does before smashing Kaye's arm down on her shoulder!

ARM BREAKER FROM SARAH LACKLAN! You're familiar with that move right, Charlie?

I’d tell you to suck my dick, but with all the penis talk you’ve done tonight I think you might actually do it!

Ned drops to the mat holding his arm in agony as Angie has plucked TK up and tries to throw him over the ropes but Thunder Knuckles stops himself and throws a foot back nailing Angie in the groin and she takes a few steps back; TK turns and nails an uppercut on Vaughn who falls to her back. TK grabs Angie by the ankle and the crowd get hype!

He’s got her in place for the THUNDER STRIKE! The most devastating foot fetishist move in wrestling history!

TK looks to the crowd with a smirk but Sarah comes to the rescue!

I guess your buddy wasn’t quick enough with it that time!

BUT she gets hit by a shoulder thrust from TK who trips her onto her back with his free arm and grabs her ankle!!!!

OH MY GAWD!!!!! Teekz is looking for a DOUBLE FOOT DDT!!! This is unprecedented!

Lacklan and Angie panic in the hold either out of fear of having their foot broken or the fact that they may have to sell this move.

This could get ugly, fast: especially if their shoes come off!

TK takes in the moment and but Ned Kaye runs out of nowhere and dropkicks TK!

God damn it Ned, you ruin everything BOB tries to do!

Thunder Knuckles sails over the ropes and lands onto Bobby Bourbon who tries to save him but falls with his fellow BoB member!

THUNDER KNUCKLES ELIMINATED!


And both ‘BOBleheads’ go out!

That’s fine, Thad! In fact, this is exactly where Thunder Knuckles wanted to be eliminated! He’s in the perfect drafting position now!

Ned looks out at the crowd and the lumberjacks with a solemn smirk as he turns and allows Angie and Lacklan to stand back to their feet.

Kaye opens up with a side kick which is caught by Angie and Lacklan helps out with a big lariat which knocks Kaye down to his back while Vaughn keeps the hold around Kaye's leg and twists before booting down on Kaye's leg.

The numbers game not working for Kaye here.

What's the point in teaming up in this match now that BOB’s all gone? You're gonna have to fight each other eventually!

Angie stomps down on Kaye before kicking him over onto his hands and knees and Kaye tries to regain his breath as Angie and Lacklan plan something, Sarah runs the ropes and on the rebound nails Kaye with...

MARK OF CAIN!!

The shining wizard drops Kaye onto his back and he is seeing stars!!!

Lacklan smirks in delight as she tells Angie to get ready, Lacklan getting Kaye into a grounded half-nelson lifting him off the mat slightly as his head dangles.

And they're not done yet, Sarah setting Kaye up for Angelica's VAUGHNEMOUS! I can’t even figure out who to root against here anymore!

Vaughn runs to the ropes to bounce back!

WAIT! SIDNEY GREY JUST LEAPED ONTO THE ARPON!

SID GETS A TIGHT HOLD AROUND ANGIE VAUGHN!

AND GREY JUST PULLED ANGELICA VAUGHN OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! SHE'S OUT!!!

The crowd pop huge and go into a fever of boos as Sidney Grey pulls Angie out of the ring!

ELIMINATED ANGELICA VAUGHN



Lacklan is in disbelief. The crowd can't believe it! And Sidney Grey ushers in the moment taking it allllll in as Vaughn is enraged on the outside and takes Grey to task with brutal strikes, forcing to be pulled away by the lumberjacks that actually give a shit.

Lacklan throws Kaye's head down onto the mat with a roar and smahes his head into the canvas before whipping him up and throwing him over the top rope!

Kaye lands barely on the apron as rage takes over Lacklan and she charges in!

SUPERGIRL PUNCH!!!

Bitch needs to punch the clock and just leave already, I don’t think anyone wants to see her win this match! I think I’m rooting for Ned now!

A big right nails Ned Kaye and he falls off the arpon!

Well way to jinx him, Chuck!

Lacklan takes breather as Kaye falls to the outside.



BUT IS CAUGHT!!!

NED’S NOT DEAD YET!

ISAIAH KING, COREY SMITH, NOAH JACKSON AND JAY OMEGA CATCH A FALLING NED KAYE!



THEY PUSH HIM BACK ONTO THE APRON!!!!


Lacklan can't believe it!

Get fucked, Sarah!

She rushes in again but Kaye wakes up with a shoulder charge!

Lacklan is forced a few feet back and Kaye slingshots himself forward!

TDA! TDA! TDA!

I’M GOING TO CUM IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS IF HE BEATS HER, THAD!

Your….what? NO!

The slingshot hurricanrana lands perfectly and Lacklan is sent through the middle rope onto the outside!!!

TOO LATE, IT’S HAPPENING!


The crowd pop huge as the final bell rings!!!

ELIMINATED SARAH LACKLAN


YOUR WINNER VIA ELIMINATION - NED KAYE!



Kaye's music hits as the crowd pop!

Ned Kaye gets the #1 pick! The only question left now is….who’s he going to take? I hope it’s me!

You didn’t even sign up to be drafted, dumbass.

Oh shit…well then, Ned’s going to have some real hard thinking to do about who to take first! And every other captain is going to need to think about how the fuck they’re going to stop Ned’s momentum!



Following the conclusion of the Captain’s Match, the ring bell chimes over and over, prompting everyone to turn to the Time Keeper’s table.  Boos echo around the compound as Sidney Grey is seen there, banging away on the bell.  Finally, she takes up a microphone to address the fans.


Sidney Grey: I know that this match was not at all what you fans were expecting.  It was missing…something…something special…something fabulously regal…your King!

The fans boo again, even louder, but Sid ignores them.

Sidney Grey: Unfortunately, there is nothing to be done about the travesty that you all just witnessed, but what I CAN do, as your XWF King is declare myself…CAPTAIN!

The entire arena erupts into chaos as they try to figure out if Sid can really do that.

Sidney Grey:  Rest assured; I can do just that!  I was screwed out of my Champion’s Prerogative in my Universal Title defense…so I am evoking it right now!

The entire compound is abuzz with chants of “BULL SHIT!” but Sid actually stands atop the Time Keeper’s Table and eggs the chants on.  Suddenly the Theo Pryce appears with an irritated look on his face.  The fans make ready to hear him put Sid in her place, but the surprises just keep on coming.

Theo Pryce: Sidney…I should have you thrown out of here, but I’m genuinely intrigued. You’re right…your Champion’s Prerogative was stolen from you, and you are the King. And because I am nothing if not fair, we will allow you to be Captain.

The entire compound is left in shock, all but Sid who gleefully hops up and down on the table.

Theo Pryce: But, we aren't adding a team.  Instead you will replace Vagabond, who will now go into the draft.  Good luck…King.

Sid hops down off the table, running around the ringside area, taunting fans, lumberjacks, and fellow Captains alike.






[Image: oPBdkzE.png]
UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Bobby Bourbon
- vs -
Raion Kido ©

Best Two Out Of Three Falls



Hello my loves…


We see Dolly Waters standing in the center of the ring,


Close yer’ eyes.

Open yer’ mind.

Fer’ Dolly’s Divine Timing has brought us to this moment…

YER’ MAIN EVENT OF MAYDAY 2!


A BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS CONTEST…



FOR THE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!






A metric fuckton of sequenced laser lights dart onto the stage, as a massive silhouette appears from behind the curtain.


Introducing first… the challenger.

Weighing in at two-hundred-ninety pounds…



The Motherfucking!



Bastardly!



Bringer OF THE BROTHERHOOD OF BADDIES!



…The Sultan Of Smacktalk…

BOBBY! BOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBOOOOOON!


The crowd erupts as the massive silhouette melts away and the camera shifts onto the image of a bold and determined Bobby Bourbon. The spotlight hovers over his body as he stands ontop of a pile of junked vehicles way back on the commune property, raising a single fist into the air. The fans surrounding him are all reaching up. Bobby leaps down from the pile of cars, and carves his way through the MayDay crowd. He hops the barricade and joins Dolly in the ring.



...and his opponent…

The entire lighting system over the commune turns to gold as The Lion appears from behind the curtain…

He IS!


…fer’ now…


THE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!



THE LION!



RAION! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


The crowd comes unglued as Kido darts a set of stoic eyes into Bobby’s, pointing a finger at the challenger as he makes his way to the ring.

Raion climbs through the ropes and hands the championship to the official, who then holds it in the air. Dolly exits the ring and takes a seat at commentary with Thad and Charlie as the theatrics settle down.

There’s a rumble in the skies, and a sudden crack of lighting. It illuminates our competitors' faces as neither of them seem bothered by the sudden change in the climate.

The roars of the crowd grow more intense as the ref calls for the bell…

This is going to be a barn burner for the ages. BOB’s not going to get involved and cheat for Bobby, are you? I know you’ve got a dog in this fight, and enough bad blood with Raion Kido to fill the seven seas!

Me and Raion? Bad blood? Naaah. And why would BOB ever interfere in a match? That would be a complete violation of the rules! I’m just here to observe and call the match down the middle, fair and square!

Riiiiiight.


These two behemoths of the wrestling industry waste little time giving the fans what they’ve come to witness!

They meet in the center of the ring, each grabbing the other man’s head with a left arm, and teeing off with their rights. But it takes little time for Bobby’s size and strength to prove to be too much, as the clubbing right handed blows of Bourbon send The Lion falling backward.

Big blows from the Bourbonman!

And down goes the champ in the first round!

But Bobby isn’t done yet. He grabs hold of Raion, grappling him under his shoulder, but Raion plants a foot, and finds the strength of his low center of gravity. He pushes up and halts Bobby’s momentum, as the two are now tied up. Raion tries pushing Bobby up from his feet, but it’s no use. Bourbon whips Raion into the ropes, chases after him and bullies the Champion onto his back with a clean running shoulder block.

Bourbon moves to pick Raion up, but the champ is already popping to his feet, he hooks Bobby’s arm as he stands, and goes for a hip toss, but the challenger is too heavy to budge, as Bobby now plants a foot, just before planting a sick headbutt right between Raion’s eyes. The champs head swings back, but he doesn’t fall, instead he unhooks his arm from Bobby and cracks the challenger across the chest with a viscous chop that echoes throughout the commune.

Oh fuck that must’ve hurt….I’ll have to get some icepacks ready for Bobby after this one!

What, are you his personal nursing aide? That’s cute.

Shut up! I just don’t like to see my friends in pain! If you were a good friend, Thad, then you’d understand!

Kido takes the opportunity to push Bobby into the corner of the ring with two more consecutive chops. He climbs up the middle rope to begin teeing off on Bourbon’s head, but the challenger slides out, and gets behind Raion. He grapples around Kido’s waist and smashes him from the middle rope into the mat with a release german suplex.

Bourbon is the first to make a cover!


1!






2!!




Kido is out at two!


Honestly surprised that got Kido to a 2-count. He’s tougher than the bed of nails I like to sleep on!

Big German Suplexes get big results, Charlie!

After breaking the count Kido is already getting to his feet. But an axe handle smash to the lower back plants him back onto his face.

Kido scrambles around as Bobby tries to further his attack, he grabs the challenger’s ankles and pulls up, tripping Bobby down to the mat while still holding onto the legs and trying to lock in a submission hold. But Bobby is able to kick Kido away.

Both men are back up to their feet where Kido tries to shove Bourbon, who barely budges. Bourbon goes to grab Kido again, but Raion is already running, hitting the ropes and going for a clothesline.

Bobby ducks underneath!

Great move, Bobby! So athletic, so handsome, so talented! Now put it all together!

Raion hits the next set of ropes, and on the rebound dives at Bourbon, who counters with a HUGE backbody drop!

THERE WE GO!

What happened to fair and balanced commentary?

Raion goes flying in the air and crashes violently onto the mat. Bobby scrambles toward the champion, ready to cover him, but Kido is able to recover and sends a pair of knees into Bourbon’s chest as he falls ontop of him. Now Kido flips ontop of Bobby trying to pin him.

1!


But a bench press kickout from Bobby!

Bobby’s as strong as seven men! Or fourteen half-men!

How many quarter-men?

Uhm, shit….I don’t have enough fingers to count that.

Kido lands like a cat, and shifts up to a vertical base, spotting Bobby already climbing up to his feet.

Kido darts over to the corner and hops rear first onto the top rope. He kicks Bobby in the face as the challenger runs in for a splash. Bobby stunned. Kido hopes over the rope, and runs down the apron, heading for the next turnbuckle…



BUT BOBBY SHAKES IT OFF!


And in an amazing display of speed, power and recovery, Bobby bounces from the ropes, runs down to the other end of the ring to meet Kido with a nasty chop across the chest as The Lion attempted to scale the other turnbuckle for a surprise attack.

Another streak of lightning cracks across the skies as rain begins to fall over Coreytopia.

Kido falls from the top rope down to the arena floor.

Bobby raises a finger to the sky and climbs the top rope…


He sizes Kido up!


Something big is about to happen!


The champion needs to pull himself together right about now, because this could be REALLY bad for the future of his reign!




DIVING SENTON!





Kido rolls out of the way just in time!

I can’t believe it! That Kido just can’t be got! Fuck he’s slick!

All that anime training has clearly paid off for the champ!

Bobby smacks the ground hard as the audience lets out a collective groan.

The ref begins counting the two men out. He reaches a count of three before Kido is to his feet.

Raion is ready to re-enter the ring when he notices Bobby is miraculously starting to stir again.

Just as Kido is about to leap off the apron for an attack, Bobby springs up to his feet. He grabs Kido by the legs, and Kido grabs onto the ropes.

Bobby pulls Kido back, leaving his body dangling out between the ropes and the floor. Bobby lifts Raion legs, about to whip the champion neck first onto the apron, but Raion spins free!

He catches Bobby with an enziguri type of kick to the temple mid-air, but even still, Kido crashes awkwardly into the apron, while Bobby is dazed on his feet.


7!!!!!!!


8!!!!!!!!

Bobby comes to and darts under the ropes…

9!!!!!!!!


We could be heading for a double count-out here!


That would be even more bullshit than Bobby’s DQ win over Flynn!


1-!!!!!!!!!!! AND KIDO JUST BARELY MAKES IT UP AND UNDER THE ROPES TOO!

The crowd is going wild as both men are slow to get up.


This match has already been one for the ages, and I think we’re not even close to the end yet!

Both of these men have so much more left to give, and they’re going to leave it all in the ring because the biggest prize in sports is on the line! This match isn’t just a match: this match is a complete and total war for the gold!


As they do, Kido pumps his fist into the air, he charges at Bobby…







ATOMIC THUNDER!










BUT THE RUNNING LARIAT IS COUNTERED!






BOURBON DROPS TO THE MAT AND TIES KIDO UP WITH A… SMALL PACKAGE?


1!





2!!







He’s got it! He’s got it! New champion!






3-NO!  KIDO SHIFTS AND FLIPS THE PIN!



Kido reverses!


SMALL PACKAGE FROM KIDO!


1!















2!!




     






3!!!






Falls

Kido- 1
Bourbon- 0




NOOOOOOOOOOO! KIDO RETAINS! God damn it, all that training was useless and Bobby is going to be so m- wait, why are they still fighting?

It’s 2 out of 3 falls, you idiot.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. So THAT’S what that means!

Bobby can still fight back and win, but it’s going to be harder now than ever!


Kido barely scores the first pinfall of the match, and Bourbon is already up. Anger washing over his features.

But Kido is undaunted. He charges right at Bourbon.

A Hiptoss smashes the challenger to the mat. Bobby pops right back up.

Slingblade from Kido!

Again Bobby is up!

Kido grapples again!


URNAGE!!!




IS COUNTERED INTO A POP-UP SPINE BUSTER!

HE JUST BROKE THE CHAMPION’S SPINE!

The crack of Kido’s spine connecting to the increasingly drenched mat is nearly as loud as the clap of thunder that erupted simultaneously.

The crowd “ewwws” from the sight.

Bobby tears away the shoulder straps from his wrestling leotard and hovers over Kido.

Kido stands again as the rain beings pouring down over Coreytopia.

How can the champion even stand?

ANOTHER SPINEBUSTER!

He won’t be able to for much longer! Not if Bobby has his way!


Bobby jerks Kido up by the hair….

This is getting gruesome…


He whips him hard into the turnbuckle, and as Kido falls back…


SPINEBUSTER!

“3!” The crowd begins counting as Bobby continues a sickening series of spinebusters.

“4!” Another spinebuster on an Irish Whip rebound.

The onslaught continues

“5!”


“6!”

Eventually the fans stop counting and start a new chant.

“SPINEBUSTER-CITY! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-* SPINEBUSTER-CITY!”

Kido appears to be in a bad way. He’s now eaten eight consecutive spinebusters from Bobby Bourbon. Even the challenger seems dazed from executing this incredible series of moves. He grabs at Raion’s ankles, ready to drag him toward the center of the mat, away from the ropes-

-but just like on the outside earlier, Kido grabs ahold of the bottom ropes. Bobby flings Kido’s legs again, but this time, with so little room between the ropes and the canvas, Kido can’t flip out. Instead he’s lashed into the canvas, the force of the drop popping him right back up into another spinning Spinebuster!

“SPINEBUSTER-CITY! *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-* SPINEBUSTER-CITY!”

Damn, Bobby…..maybe you should try going for a pin now? All this violence is starting to make even ME a bit squeamish!

It looks like Bobby has a point to prove tonight!

Bobby is still down on his knees after that last spinebuster, panting, and trying to gather the strength to lift Kido again. After some time, he’s able to finally get The Lion up. He moves Kido to the turnbuckle, and positions him on top.

He’s going to go for a 10th spinebuster… FROM THE TOP ROPE?!

He has Kido up. He spins for the super spinebuster!

BUT KIDO GRABS HIS HEAD MIDAIR!


CODEBREAKER FROM THE TOP!

Both men take considerable damage, and both men are down!

The crowd is going crazy!

Bobby staggers to his feet, and somehow, Raion isn’t far behind him…


Bobby turns around.






RIGHT INTO A LIGHTNING BOLT PUNCH!










NO!









BOURBON PARRYS!






HE BATS AWAY KIDO’S FIST!








HE SPINS THE CHAMPION!






PHRENOLOGY CLAW!



Bourbon locks in the clutch submission hold, squeezing his arms tightly around Kido’s throat. Immediately, Kido charges backward, pushing Bobby into the ropes, his arms flailing, desperately trying to get a rope break!


KIDO SPINS AND GETS THE ROPES!


He ref runs in and counts to four before Bobby gives Kido the break.



…..





But the break only prolonged the inevitable.



KIDO CAN’T RECOVER, AND BOBBY LOCKS THE HOLD RIGHT BACK IN!


He wraps his legs around Kido and slams the two of them to the mat, squeezing with all of his might!






KIDO TAPS!

KIDO TAPS!


Falls:
Kido -1
Bourbon -1



AND BOBBY WINS THE MATCH! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

Dude….2 out of 3….

Oh….so who’s ahead?

It’s tied, Charlie! And the next fall is for all the marbles!

Holy shit this is getting intense!

No shit!


Bobby releases the hold and both men are lying back first on the mat. The rain pouring down on their faces like a much needed elixir from the heavens.

The crowd is rumbling, roaring, implying these two warriors to finish the match.

They’ve both spent so much energy on those first two falls. One has to wonder what could possibly be left in the tank.

These two have both spent so much energy on the first two falls. You have to wonder what could possibly be left in the tank!

Woah…did anyone else just get a weird sense of deja vu?

Huh? Jesus Charlie, just focus on this great championship match!

Raion rolls onto his stomach, still gasping for air, as Bobby slowly pulls up from his back in a deadman type of situp, positioning himself on one elbow and looking over at Kido with an incredulous shake of the head.

The challenger drags to his feet and limps over to the reeling Kido. He stands the champion up… AND EATS A DISCUS CLOTHESLINE!

FUCK! That would knock a whale on his ass!



But Bobby doesn’t fall, he stumbles through the ropes and catches himself on the apron.

But somehow Bobby’s still standing!

He shakes his head, recovers quickly and spots Raion charging toward him.

Bobby moves to the turnbuckle and climbs the top, where Kido meets him, with a series of well timed boxing punches on his way to the top. Bourbon is seeing stars!

Kido is not relenting!

Kido hooks his arm over his shoulder. He grabs Bobby’s tights. He lifts. Bobby resists. Kido lifts again. Still Bourbon doesn’t budge. Kido strains. His face is turning blood red. He’s used all of his strength trying to lift Bobby from the top turnbuckle.

HEADBUTT FROM BOURBON!

Atta boy, Bobby!

Great, now they both have concussions!

Kido is now dangling from the top rope with one arm. Bobby is still seated infront of him.

It looks like a stiff wind could knock Kido over.




….


Bobby grapples Kido!






BUT THE LION RELEASES HIS HOLD FROM THE ROPE AND LANDS ON HIS FEET IN THE RING!






LIGHTNING BOLT!



 
NO!




IS CAUGHT BY BOURBON!



YES!

C’mon, Charlie; make up your mind!


Bobby has his hands up, holding Raion’s fist! The champion screams out, charging the punch all of his might, but he can’t break Bobby’s block!


This is like an anime movie! Look at all that force, and air pressure, and anime swirls in the air!

….

Did we….did we take drugs? This looks just like some sort of dragonball-Z action sequence! Bobby is STILL blocking the blow, and the momentum is causing gusts of wind!


……

LIGHTNING BOLT!!!








AS IN AN ACTUAL BOLT OF LIGHTNING FROM THE STORM!


Oh my god!




IT STRIKES THE LIGHTING STRUCTURE ABOVE THE RING!




What’s happening?!



THE LIGHTS GO OUT OVER COREYTOPIA!




RAION KIDO DROPS HIS FIST AND PULLS BOBBY’S ARM OVER HIS SHOULDER…












HE LIFTS ONE MORE TIME!




WITH EVERY OUNCE OF ENERGY HE HAS LEFT!









KIDO SUPERPLEXES BOURBON INTO THE RING….




I can’t believe it!



LEAVING A RAION BOURBON SHAPED DENT IN THE CANVAS



How did the champion have the strength for that?!


……THE RING COLLAPSES!!!





BOTH MEN ARE UNCONSCIOUS, BUT ONE MAN’S ARM IS DRAPED ACROSS THE OTHERS CHEST!






1!










2!!














3!!!



Falls:
Kido-2
Bourbon-1


It’s Kido’s arm draped over Bobby’s chest!

Winner- and STILL XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION- Raion Kido!


Well fuck……this wasn’t what I wanted to happen, but even I can’t deny that the champion put on a performance for the ages. Bobby Bourbon gave him everything he had…and somehow, someway, Raion Kido will be walking away as the champion tonight! If he can somehow still walk after that slugfest…..GOD DAMN, WHAT A SHOW! WHAT A MAIN EVENT! WHAT A NIGHT, EVERYBODY! NOW GO HOME AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO YOUR WIVES BECAUSE THEY MIGHT LEAVE YOU ONE DAY LIKE MINE DID!

Have a nice night everybody!


The crowd goes insane as the storm rages on over Coreytopia. Before Kido can even get his arm raised as the victor, the fans have rushed the ring. Hoisting both of the unconscious competitors into the air, Kido with the Universal Championship tucked in his arms, sending the two men crowd surfing through the commune grounds.





A Very Special Thanks:

Mark Flynn
Bobby Bourbon
Corey Smith
Gator
Thaddeus Duke
Charlie Nickles

...and to everyone who RPed, submitted segments, and helped judge these matches.

Happy *late* MayDay!

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]
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[-] The following 11 users Like Dolly Waters's post:
Charlie Nickles (05-07-2023), Corey Smith (05-08-2023), EDWARD THE GREAT (05-08-2023), Mark Flynn (05-07-2023), Ned Kaye (05-08-2023), Prince Adeyemi (05-07-2023), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (05-07-2023), Raion Kido (05-08-2023), The Blue Tango (05-07-2023), Theo Pryce (05-08-2023), Thunder Knuckles™ (05-07-2023)
Raion Kido Offline
The Lion


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XWF FanBase:
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(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)


#2
05-08-2023, 02:43 AM

“No gloating, no self-congratulatory pats on my own back. Just a bonafide show of respect for one of the best people to have ever done this.

I've been having hard fight after hard fight, but I can now say I've defended the title right after winning it. Shame about the Tag Team Titles, but I think with this victory, I have proven myself once more.”

[Image: yfesfA4.jpg]

Signature courtesy of Atara Themis!
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