Tick.

It was also in this moment of silence that I discovered another nervous habit. When pressed with a question I needed to contemplate, my chin would begin to feel itchy. And so my hand went to my chin, scratching vigorously through the beard hair. Not violent or hard, just enough to soothe, if possible. It was at this moment of scratching that Elbrook looked up at me, his face...bemused...by my actions. "Well?" he asked in such a plain, simple tone that it took me by surprise.

It also managed to snap me out of scratching. As I lowered my hand, I still hadn't come up with an answer. "When you say 'Have I really given one-hundred percent...' What do you mean?"

Elbrook kept his eyebrow raised...and for the first time we have had these meetings, he set his notes on the coffee table. "Dionysus..." he began, before taking a deep breath, then continuing, "What is your goal with these sessions?"

"I was under the impression it was to get a better handle on my mental health and working through the anxieties I have in my life. You said yourself that it wouldn't be an easy process, but I feel as though I have given everything I can so you can give me advice. Are you saying what I'm doing isn't good enough anymore?"

"Nothing of the sort," he replied curtly. "I am simply pointing out that I feel we have achieved quite a bit. You are now embarking on a new business venture, and I only sought to remind you where your priorities are, between the vineyard, your wrestling career, and your personal life. There is a healthy balance that must be maintained in life, Dionysus, and while I feel you wish to indulge as much as you can, your focus is always going to be split between each facet of your life."

"Well it isn't as though I am constantly thinking about-"

"The vineyard, of course," Elbrook interrupted, "With your various partners helping you maintain it."

"Safety nets, Doctor," I replied. "Everything I am doing now is to ensure that, should my wrestling career, which is a primary focus in my life, ends sooner than anticipated, I have something I can fall back on."

"And where do your friends fit into the equation? This woman you just met, for instance. Have you even spoken to each other since you first met? Exchanged further messages?"

"...That seems a bit too personal, Doctor," I pointed out.

Elbrook only shook his head. "The point I am trying to make is that your life has many distractions, and the way you avoid awkward situations is by distancing yourself from people or things that will cause a problem. Your mother, for instance; since their wedding, have you visited her?"

"Sure, once for dinner not too long ago," I replied. "Though I happened to be in town and-"

"And what of her husband, Benjamin?"

"Busy with The Foundation. I put him in charge since I-"

"William?"

"Helping with the vineyard, but this isn't-"

"Don't you realize what you are doing here?" Elbrook stated emphatically, pointing directly at me. "You give yourself an out each and every time that justifies your distance with those that you are close to. You have thrown up walls your entire life because if you choose to not get close, you will not become hurt again...just like you were hurt when your father left you. You do all of this to avoid the pain you felt all those years ago."

It took my mind a second to process that my hand was clenched in a fist. Another second to register the pain in my wrist as I slammed it down on the arm of the couch. The pain shot through my arm with a tingling sensation. I guess we both hit a nerve.

Still, the slam was enough to startle the both of us. Feeling myself calm down, I stood up, rubbing my wrist as I did so. "I think..." I began, pausing to choose my words carefully. "I think I need to stop for today."

"Yes..." Elbrook agreed, "That may be for the best." I turned toward the door, and had just brushed my fingers against the knob when I heard, "But Dionysus." I turned to face him, my hand still on the doorknob. "Do think about what I have told you. And know that I am not saying these harmful things to hurt you. Rather, I am pointing out my observations as we move into the next phase of your treatment. Take as much time as you need, but do call to schedule a follow-up appointment."

I nodded, finally opening the door to his office. I closed it gently behind me as I let out a long-drawn out breath. I shook my head and realized my face was wet around the eyes. I wiped away the tears that had formed. Why had I started crying? Was it out of anger because he was wrong?

Or was it worse?

...What if it is the sadness in knowing he was right?

---

Avoidance is a tricky subject to approach with just about anyone.

There are plenty of things in our lives we really don't wish to deal with at the moment we are suffering through them. A meeting we are dreading, a date that isn't going well, an appointment at a repair shop where the only thing good on the waiting room television is the Game Show Network.  Some might be melodramatic and call it "hell on earth," but many of these moments are vital on a day-to-day basis. It is when we are actively looking to avoid those vital moments where the issue becomes apparent. We want to turn a blind eye to our weaknesses and only put the best version of ourselves forward.

And that, fans of Warfare, is what I have done to you.

You see, I have deliberately withheld a deeper part of myself in an effort to make myself look larger-than-life. And now that the new car scent has worn off, you are left with Dionysus; Lord of the Vine and sensitive type. As grandiose as I appear, I can assure you that I am quite approachable. I also tend to be just a bit awkward around other people, but for good reason. Growing up, it was just my mother and I for a very long time. My father, Hector Berget, used to be a professional wrestler and ran his own school. Before anyone asks, he closed up shop to take a new job out in Japan. He left when I was about ten or eleven. We still don't know where he is or how he is doing.

Life became more difficult after that. My mother was a teacher and on her salary there was just enough for us to get by, if barely. While we didn't starve, I can't say I lived a comfortable life. Not until I too got into the business and worked my ass off to make sure we would never go through an ordeal like that again. And after all these years and with careful financial planning, we are, at the very least, comfortable. I had put nagging injuries aside in order to make sure I could still work. That first contract I ever had put me at my most vulnerable, having been kicked around, taken advantage of, and left holding the bag numerous times, being told "you will never amount to anything."

So as much as Ned wants to paint me as some unsympathetic monster, I know the truth about my life. Understandably, I don't really care to make these experiences public, as these dredge up dark memories. However, in an effort to clear my name, I felt now was an appropriate and necessary time to mention the struggles I have had. See unlike Ned, I'm not going to avoid my weaknesses. Ned, on the other hand, is desperate to avoid his own value within XWF. Perhaps a bit of advice, from one veteran looking at securing his position to another. If you have people constantly telling you you aren't worth it...and you continue to show them how you are, in fact, worth it...then why the hell are you still listening to them? You said it yourself; you went toe-to-toe with a fresh Sidney Grey and nearly walked out the winner. The keyword there, however, is "nearly."

Ned, what sets the two of us apart from Trunk Slamchest...sorry, Jay Omega, is that you and I work hard and fight harder for every last inch we can get our hands on. Gristle McThornbody would rather dance around the idea that maybe his time is well past him and that his wish.com rendition of Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine really is as C-list as it gets. The two of us are meant to bounce back from this, not Stump Beefknob. His only job, aside from being called names like Reef Blastbody, Blast Thickneck, and Bob Johnson...oh wait...Slab Squatthrust, is to lie down and get pinned first.

Once we get Flex Limpshaft out of the way, then we can have our tournament rematch. And we'll be ready for each other. We're pretty similar to one another. The biggest difference between you and I is that you feel the need to prove your doubters wrong. Why? When you win, they still continue on, and when they lose, that only fuels their doubt further, right? So who cares what anyone says about you? Focus your energy on making believers out of those that want to believe, not from the people you know already despise you. Each loss then becomes a lesson, and each win is something you can rub their faces in. That said, I doubt you will take this advice to heart. After all, this is something you have had to deal with for now over three years. And if you're only getting tired of it now, imagine how bored your detractors are in saying all of that. At this point you really should just expect them to hate you.

Do me a favor at Warfare, if you would be so kind? When you inevitably go down by my hand, just stay down. Take this as a learning opportunity: when you praise your opponent for being talented and physically impressive, they are going to bring those talents to bear.

And it would be in your best interest to avoid our head-on collision.