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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Restoration of Anarchy, Part II: VIRTUOUS RETRIBUTION!
Author Message
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry

XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)

04-20-2023, 01:49 PM







Sarah Lacklan’s face is a picture of abject, unending, unyielding horror as she stands outside of a wrestling ring, her rat eyes glistening with disgusted tears as she stares at the giant vat of fried potatoes, gravy, and cheese curds. Various nameless/faceless XWF employees walk from the back in a line down the aisle, as if the brooms enchanted by the Sorcerer’s Hat, dumping bucket after bucket of the infamous Candaiian foodstuff into the vat. The conglomerate of tuber, flour, butter, and milk solids continues to make sounds that Sarah’s meticulously maintained ears find disgust, and her lunch of triple-certified organic chicken breast…steamed, of course…plucked from their range-free living in their native lands of Central Californian farmland…tried to move it’s way up her throat.

“...oh…oh Lord…”

She bravely holds it down, even in the ever-growing sight of the gelatinous monstrosity.

“A beauty, ain’t she?”

She hadn’t bothered to catch the worker’s name, but she knew he was one of the XWF ring crew, presently serving under THE HAMMER.

“This is just a test run, ya see. Gotta make sure the ring will ‘old under all t’at poutine.”

Sarah shivered enough to make the diamonds sewn into the giant shoulders of her gown clink together in a chaotic melody which, somehow, sounded like Tinkerbell at her most indignant.

“Lord…the things I’ll do to avenge a miscarriage, to right a wrong.”

The nameless worker raised his eyebrow and Sarah waved his questioning look away with her own impatience. Her eyes narrowed at her own gloved hand, the skin under the silk that of the dreaded, and impossible to remove thus far, Red/Black Mist mixture.

“A few weeks ago, I implored Atticus Grey, Glory be be his name, to remove the useless and unworthy Cashe from a match and, instead, replace him with Buster Gloves.”

She raised up both hands and turned her face skyward.

“Lo! Buster, who ruined…RUINED, I SAY…what could have been an epic showdown between ‘Top of the Card’ Lacklan and ‘Middling Bullshit Salesman’ Kido, with his vicious, despicable, loathsome attack on my person.”

She lowered her hands and face back to the ever-filling vat of poutine.

“I sent him a letter…strongly worded, mind you…imploring him to do the right thing but…well…”

Her eyes looked sideways.

“...apparently, SOMEONE got ahold of my letter and, with her unnecessarily leggy hand, altered some of my language…strong language, of course…accidentally confuzzled Atticus, Glory be his name, and he thought I meant NOW and not THEN.”

She shakes her head and looks back to the vat.

“So while Buster escaped the fury…FILLED with righteousness, of course…I had for him at March Madness, he now must taketh of the cup I bringeth.”

She gestures towards the vat and gags again.

“Honestly, I’m not even sure if Buster axly works here anymore…Warfare-filling…and suffocating…contests for a mascot or no, Saga vs. Page is so dead in the water that even Lucha Submission Machina is looking at them and saying ‘Dang, Chicas, that’s rough.’ But, I’m SURE that someone within his group will let him know that he’s booked against the angelic vengeance that is going to-”


Sarah nearly doubles over with the need to purge her stomach, her tongue, normally quite delicate, snakes out of her mouth, laying flat. She shakes her head and bravely holds back all of that squall.

“-...drop the hammer.”

She takes off her glasses and kneads the bridge of her nose in an attempt to offer her head some relief.

“As much as I am going to enjoy the expelling of my fury, I DO ever so wish it was in…oh, I don’t know…THE RING!”

She snarls as she puts her glasses back on her face, the thick lenses magnifying her odd red eyes.

“Here I am, the Queen of Anarchy, dead set on bringing a true Restoration to a brand which has seen the prestige of its championship dip so low that even Universal Soldier looks at a Raab in the main event with pity, and not only do I have to lock a woman…nice girl, but a little dead in the brain, obvs…out of the building, but now I have to deal with THIS!”

She shakes her hands angrily at the vat dominating the ring.

“But! I have a point to prove. I have a brand to save. I have the UNJUST and PREJUDICED attack on my person for which to enact VIRTUOUS RETRIBUTION! I HAVE-”


Sarah’s lunch ALMOST comes up as gravy spills over the lip of the vat. Her eyes lock onto it as it slowly makes it’s way down the gray metal.

“...that gravy is basically all of Saga: A formless mixture that is clogging the arteries of this company. Everyone will thank me when I get rid of them all. And what of them?”

Sarah points to a line of people wearing bibs and overalls, and the man smiles.

“Oh! That would be those hoping’ to be eatin’ that poutine! Gotta have tha best of tha best if we want any chance of tha poutine being eatin’ and you endin’ in a draw!”

Sarah shakes her head.

“Who in the WORLD would sign up for this? To be so BASE and DISGUSTING to-”

“Alrite? This the free bit of tea? Not what I usually fancy but free's free, innit?"

Sarah audibly gags as Molly Barnes slips into the room and toward the ‘free bit of tea.’ Molly looks at Sarah with some hope in her eyes.

"Mate, you guys wouldn't happen to do some nice salt and vinegary crisps as well to wash these cheese curds down, would you? There's nice."

Sarah’s constitution loses the battle and she flees from the room and towards the closest toilet. As she heard the posh goth retch, Molly couldn’t help but think that the meal was a bit too exotic for her domestic tastes, but she had worse!

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[-] The following 3 users Like Lacklan's post:
Atticus Gold (04-20-2023), CTN (04-22-2023), The Atomic Bat (04-24-2023)

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