BZZZZZZZZT!

BZZZZZT!

BZZZT! BZZZT!

BZZZZZZZZZZZT!

Electricity begins to malfunction across the 24/7 catacombs. Mastermind's wall-mounted vibrator explodes, causing Kris Von Bonn to rush to the rescue with his trusty hammer.

And then... darkness.

A speck of light changes everything. Suddenly, said speck rips to life in a swirling nightmare of colour! Glimpses of horror flash into this world, like looking into Pandora's Box!

Hiroshima being bombed!

Pol Pot's massacres!

Charlie Nickles ever winning the Universal Championship!

It's humanity at its worst!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!




ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!





ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!











ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
























ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!




























ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!































ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


























ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!









ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



















ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



























ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!











"OOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKK!"























"OOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKK!"
























"OOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKK!"




















"OOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKK!"










Falling from that hellscape to this one is the pig that inspires absolutely zero emotion in anybody when they see him - Hotdog! He's back from another adventure through time and space that we will hopefully never hear about because that sounds like a lot of work.



"OOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKK!"



He lands in the hallway with a thud and starts coughing up brimstone, COVID-24, and what would later be tested as the return of the ejaculate of Barney Green - making its first appearance since it actually had a match in an XWF ring back in 2014. The more you know.

As Hotdog gets his bearings, he gets a little bit excited. You can tell, because that's what he says. It's not that complicated, don't overthink it.

"O'ink ooiinnk"


See? Jerks.

He coughs again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Oh God, COVID-24 is going to come a year early! Just like Barney Green did!

Hotdog coughs. But like... excitedly. We established that.

He's excited because this is the 24/7 corridor, which means the cure for what ails him must be...

"OINK OOINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



...


Yo, imagine the disappointment when it's not even Goth he sees with the X-Treme Championship but Cadryn Tiberius, who has been incapacities through means that escape this writer's comprehension at this ungodly hour of night.

"Oink, oink oink."


Nary a wiser word was spoken.

Hotdog pins Cadryn in a way that is totally feasible for a human to pick out from underneath his tonnage. I don't know, you fill in the blanks.

"OOOIINNKK!!!"


Indeed.

1...

2...

What in the goddamn what?

Uh..

Cadryn kicks out of every possible combination of COVID-24 as well as any pin attempt that was made!

I have no words for what just happened..

"Ooiinnk oink Oink!"