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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Madness Boards » Madness Results
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

04-03-2023, 06:32 PM


3 - 27 - 2023

[Image: K0F7CKx.png]



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The competitors will engage in all sorts of classic American Gladiators contests against ACTUAL former Gladiators!

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IDL Number One Contender's Match!


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OOC: Summarized “Messed Up Shoulder” Edition of Madness! (Sorry guys, typing too much is just impossible)

In the back, we find Majestuosa Manner who is meant to be doing an interview, but we see Juliana berating a staff member while Emma keeps a firm hold on his shoulder.

Juliana: Estupido, all you have to do is stand there and hold the microphone. You raise it up exactly three inches away from my lips when I speak. When Emma speaks, you raise the mic three inches away from her lips. Stop ramming it in our faces like it’s your tiny little dick.

Juliana sighs, flips her hair, and rolls her eyes as she sees the cameraman has not only arrived but started without saying anything. Juliana takes a deep breath as Emma shoves the young crew member forward and steps up just behind Juliana. Juliana stops the mic before it’s jammed in her face, and pushes the young man’s hand down to the perfect position as she smiles.

Juliana: Hola XWF, estamos en la Ciudad de México esta noche, y no podría estar más... asqueado. Now obviously we are staying in the most luxurious hotel available, we have drivers and security, but that’s because this city is kind of disgusting. It reminds me of our opponents tonight actually. Two broke bitches.

Juliana laughs at her own joke but stops when the crew member begins to laugh along.

Juliana: Did I say you were allowed to laugh? You are basically a mic stand, okay?

The young man nods just before Emma jabs an elbow into his back and he brings the mic up for her.

Emma: Close enough. Poor, trashy, violent, and for some sad reason, proud of it.

Juliana snaps her fingers and the mic is brought back to her.

Juliana: Are you describing our opponents or the city? It perfectly describes both. No doubt some fat guy with a shitty little beard is upset I’m talking about his favorite tag team like this, but I don’t care. Honestly, we shouldn’t even be facing these two tonight. After we won that ridiculous gauntlet, we proved that we are THE best team here on Madness. Don’t even start with some crap about how we got lucky and they had faced three other teams and blah blah bullshit.

Emma now snaps and the mic is brought to her.

Emma: We controlled every single moment of our previous contest and tonight we will do the same. Once we dispatch these broke bitches, we are coming for the Gemini Championships.

Juliana pulls the mic back towards herself.

Juliana: That is exactly right Emma. Buff, beautiful, and brilliant, you might just be my favorite tag team partner. We didn’t just request this time to talk about ourselves though. No no no. You see, our great friend has found her way to Madness and we could not let this opportunity for a massive announcement slip by. First though, let’s allow her to introduce herself to you, even though if you don’t know who this woman is, you’re a fool and are likely one of those fat losers who love Two Broke Chicks and desperately needs the help of her wonderful weight loss and fitness program. Everyone, the incredible, the beautiful, the talented, the brilliant, the one and only Marisol Vilaro

Marisol enters, dressed in her wrestling gear after her match with a big smile on her face, the Catalonia beauty enters soaking in the attention of the camera. As she looks at the two women next to her with a big smile and shakes hands, and hugs each of them before giving a kiss on each cheek to them which is returned. She then looks at the person holding the mic with a sneer as she snaps her fingers bringing them to attention.

Marisol Vilaro: Their much better now its no secret that these two women are the very best tag team not only on Madness but hell dare I say the world right now. I mean, there is a reason I sought them out to sign with Team Vilaro, and Vilaro Fitness look at Emma here she is pure power, she will toss around those Broke Chicks like they are sacks of potatoes, and toss them right in the garbage where they belong. Then of course Juliana, a woman who needs no introduction ever!

Marisol says proudly, and with a smile on her face.

Marisol Vilaro: Juliana is a woman who has been a multiple-time tag team champion, and anywhere she arrives she causes a stir, so what we have is beauty, speed, charisma, and power all in one but wait there is more! Much more because now they have aligned themselves with the premier manager but also a premier talent in the ring to boot, The Marvelous Vision of Perfection standing before you right now. ME, Marisol Vilaro. This is a part of our brand new Majesutosa Vilaro Program, the newest offering from Vilaro Fitness. This part, we are giving to all of you as a gift not that you are worthy of it. I mean XWF Madness is getting the deal of a lifetime, let us be honest you are looking at three future champions around here and we thought about the Trios titles but out of the kindness of our hearts, we decided, for now, Chris, Summer, Jessica you can enjoy your reign.

Juliana smirks and then snaps her fingers and the mic is brought back to her.

Juliana: Imagine it, those three can handle the trio's division, Emma and I will continue to prove that we are the best tag team in this company until those rings belong to us, and Marisol, well whether it’s the Equitorial or the IDL Championship, she would immediately elevate the title, just as we are elevating the Gemini Division, as well as the incredible Vilaro Program with the new Majestuosa Vilaro Program, or as we’re calling it, the MVP Package. In addition to all the wonderful benefits you already get with the program, now daily fashion tips from ME, Miss Majestuosa herself, tips for all my mamacitas, and of course Papi.

Juliana blows a kiss as she says that last word, clearly banking on a classic sales technique as she turns towards Emma.

Juliana: I will also help establish a new look as you make your way to the new you, tell me what you like, and I will get rid of the trash no class choices, and make sure that all the hard work Marisol Vilaro has put into her incredible program and Vilaro Fitness, is not sullied by people with bad fashion sense and awful hygiene. That’s only one wonderful addition to the program. For those who want to take a bigger step in their fitness, well that is where my tag team partner, the living embodiment of She-Hulk, the walking talking Wonder Woman, Mademoiselle Muscle herself, Emma Crusher Couture.

Emma steps forward and flexes, her biceps straining against the sleeve of her ring jacket, her abs showing just a bit as she pushes her chest out before returning to her normal stance.

Emma: Yes, for those serious about building strength, sculpting your body, and working harder than you have ever imagined. Beginning at 4 days with all the workouts I do, building to my usual six-day training schedule, as well as nutrition tips. It is highly unlikely that any of you will ever achieve a body like mine, but if you are willing to put in the work, you can find an entirely new level of fitness. This is only available as an extra to the new MVP Package as it is certainly not for beginners. Luckily, Marisol has a program for everyone.

Marisol smiled once again making sure the staff member has the microphone up to her lips. As she spoke in a proud tone.

Marisol Vilaro: Exactly, this is an advanced workout you’re getting, and as well as fashion help from my girl Juliana on top of that, like how can you beat it, and of course you get ME! You get all the amazing benefits from any Vilaro Fitness workout plan, you get all the best support you all need to become a better you. See we three are the women who are not only going to be helping all of you become semi-respectable members of society, but we are the women who will rule over the Madness brand.

Juliana snapped her fingers and the back was brought back to her. She looked to Emma, then to Marisol, and smirked.

Juliana: Just in case you ever start to forget us, which let’s be honest should be impossible for all but the most feeble of minds, but on the incredibly unlikely chance that does begin to happen, all you have to do is remember that we’re the MVP, Bitches!

As Juliana finishes, MVP sends the crew member flying out of the screen as she steps up right by Juliana and Marisol with all three women blowing a kiss and dropping all but their middle fingers as their hands come forward before they turn and strut away to make their exit.

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Markella and Vilaro have a back and forth battle for a bit, but Vilaro eventually manages to spray her signature perfume, Viva Vilaro, into the eyes of Markella while the official is down due to an accidental collision with Marisol Vilaro.

Vilaro then is able to easily land the CRUNCH TIME and score the 1-2-3!

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Themis Palaestra and the THUGs go to war in this match - Tommy and JB constantly taunt Agrippina and Desdemona by wearing the stolen Gemini Rings on gold chains around their necks.

As the match goes on, Themis Palaestra seem to be on their way to another successful defense, especially once their sister Osira Themis comes out to ringside and acts as a distraction against the THUGs. Osira even yanks Tommy off the apron, smashing his face into the apron on the way down, when JB tries to tag him in.

That’s when the THIRD THUG, former XWF X-Treme Champion Reggie Estrada, runs down to ringside and takes Osira out! He puts Osira through a table at ringside, which distracts Desdemona in the ring long enough for her to get rolled up from behind by John Black, and he scores the 1-2-3!

We have NEW Gemini Champions!!!

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As we can see, the X-Treme Alliance all insisted on sharing the nickname “Fucking” in their monikers. Darren Dangerous took it a step further by insisting on having it spelled “Fuckking,” because he thought the extra K made him more hardcore or something. Darren was also already bleeding heavily before the match even started, as he slashed his forehead open with one of the plastic disposable sporks from catering while backstage.

Gravy and Barney do a great job against Summer Page and Jess Anderson, but they can’t stand up to Chris Mosh as easily and soon are overwhelmed by the Trios Champions. Darren Dangerous eventually passes out from blood loss and falls to the floor, leaving Gravy and Barney in a 3 on 2 scenario, which ends up being too much for the challengers. Barney gets taken out with a triple team lifting cutter, and Chris Mosh pins the big boy after lifting him impressively into the MOSHPIT! 1-2-3, The champions retain!

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The competitors will engage in all sorts of classic American Gladiators contests against ACTUAL former Gladiators!

The theme for American Gladiators blares, signalling the forthcoming Lord of Violence match.

Suddenly, it scratches and fades out, replaced instead by a man speaking.

"Hold up, hold up, hold up!"

The voice comes from back at the stage, as the camera cuts back to see Kieran King stepping out into the arena, the Lord of Violence championship wrapped around his waist. Clad in blue jeans and a button-down shirt, King does not look dressed to compete at all! Behind him, a scruffy, possibly homeless man has been dressed up in an ill-fitting suit, looking completely out of sorts.

King: "As much as I love me some good old fashioned sweaty nostalgia, I'm going to have to ask you to cut the music and turn your attention to YA BOY, A-K-A your REIGNING AND DEFENDING LORD OF VIOLENCE AND QUITE FRANKLY THE GREATEST DEATHMATCH WRESTLER THE XWF HAS EVER SEEN!"

King beams back to his accomplice, who just does not seek to know what's going on at all. King doesn't seem to care, continuing on his path to the ring and climbing in.

King: "Now, as YOUR Lord of Violence, I feel it is my responsibility to come before you - my citizens - and PERSONALLY give you the bad news tonight. My genius lawyer here…"

He points to the unwashed man shuffling ON the spot behind him.

King: "...Mr. Lou Phol, esquire, has been hard at work all month long trying to resolve the contract dispute that led to last week's SUCCESSFUL DEFENCE of MY Lord of Violence championship being held in the confines of a regular singles match, rather than whatever blood-soaked gorefest you all wanted to finger-bang yourselves to. Alas, it seems a resolution has not yet been reached!"

The crowd boos, and King feigns offence

King: "Hey, don't take it out on Mr. Lou Pohl here! He's just doing his job in defending the interests of his client! The real target of your ire should be the XWF's own legal team, who I believe are still caught up in some sort of entanglement around a match involving Santa Claus and Da Bing Bong Twinzz from last year. It's their dumbassery that led to this contract situation existing in the first place and they really don't seem interested in resolving it at all."

A small "show the match" chant breaks out. But because the show is in Mexico it's in Spanish, so King doesn't know what the hell is being said.

King: "The POINT is, the XWF has sadly disappointed its loyal fans. And because nobody in management has the balls to front up to all of you, it's up to me to break the bad news to you all: There will be no Lord of Violence defence tonight!:

Boos rain in, and if one looks hard enough, they might just see Kieran King smile. The chanting shifts to a vociferous "You're a pussy!" - in English this time so King just pretends he doesn't understand and eggs them on.

King: "Yes! Show the XWF how disappointed you are in them!"

Without the usual lights going out, "Sex" by The Grave Smashers hits the speakers and Gravy storms out onto the stage!

Gravy: "We absolutely are fucking-not having a Madness without the Lord of Violence being defended!”

King shrugs as he watches Gravy grunge walk to the ring.

[red]King: "Sorry dawg - err, dawg-ette, a contract is a contract."

As Gravy gets into the ring, King's 'lawyer' waves a piece of paper in her face.


Gravy snatches the paper from the lawyer, gives it a brief once over, and then shoves the whole thing into his/her mouth. Gravy is eating the contract.

King and Lou Pohl look at each other in confusion, taking a step back from where Gravy proudly munches away. Upon finishing her 'meal', Gravy opens her mouth wide and shows that it's all gone.

Gravy: "There! Contract situation resolved! Now get up there with the Gladiators and get ready to compete!"

King: "Uh… you know that was just a copy, right? Contracts are basically digital these days, and unless you plan on eating the entire XWF server, absolutely nothing has changed."

Gravy briefly considers the possibility, but decides it's probably too much work. Probably.

Gravy: "I don't give a fuck! You ARE going to defend that Lord of Violence championship tonight! I’ll be damned if it’s MY division that’s blamed for this shitshow going down in flames!"

King: "I don't know what to tell you, dude. Lou Pohl and his team have determined that an American Gladiators match meets the criteria of a deathmatch, and therefore, I am contractually prevented from appearing in one."

Gravy: "Then we'll do a fucking regular match like you did last week!"[/dwg

King: "It's a good idea in theory, but pretty much the entire deathmatch division meets the criteria of a Space Wizard, and I'm similarly prohibited from competing against–"

Gravy interrupts King

[dwg]Gravy: "I'll fight you!"

King pauses and looks Gravy up and down.

King: "...Err… what's the situation with your body nowadays? There's been some very Space Wizadry shenanigans previously…"

Gravy: "Do you have a problem with me being fluid?"

King: "No! No, of course not. Just… you know…"

Gravy: "It's none of your fucking business what the situation is with my body! Now somebody get a referee out here so I can sort this 'contract situation' out myself!"

King: "Don't you have another match–"


Sure enough, a referee comes sprinting down the aisle, and it looks like we're getting an impromptu defence of the Lord of Violence championship right now!

Match: Kieran King vs. Gravy - Lord of Violence Championship


The match starts with Gravy aggressively charging King, who is still in his street clothes, and backing him into a corner to retreat from Gravy's clubbing bitch slaps. Once there, Gravy starts driving their shoulder into King's abdomen. Gravy pulls King out whips King towards the ropes, where King catches himself instead of rebounding back. Gravy, bent double for a back body drop, soon finds themself on the receiving end of a swinging kick to the face. Gravy flies backwards and King swoops up, catching him with a slingblade and going for a quick cover that only nets a 1 count.

Both men get to their feet, but with King up first he's able to deliver another kick to Gravy's head that snaps their neck back. King drops down into a quick sit-out jawbreaker and again Gravy is pushed back by the jerking momentum. Finding themselves at the ropes, Gravy just has enough wherewithal to spy King sprinting forward. King slides, looking to take out Gravy's legs with a baseball slide while both are still in the ring. But Gravy jumps at the last minute - using the ropes for leverage - and King slips right underneath and out to the floor. He lands perfectly on his feet, however and is able to snatch at Gravy's feet when they hit the ground, pulling them under the ropes and to the outside alongside King.

This was perhaps not the wisest choice on King's behalf, as Gravy relishes in the break down of the match. While the referee begins to count them both out, a thumb to King's eye turns the tides in Gravy's favour. As King clutches at his face, Gravy then clobbers him with a mighty haymaker, and King sprawls across the apron. Gravy punches King in the kidney and then grabs him by the hair to pull him over to the steel steps. He drives King down face first, rattling the steps with the force!

The ref's count continues, so Gravy rolls King back into the ring and covers him for a 2 count.

Taking control of the match, Gravy pulls King to his feet and looks to try and set him up for a piledriver. King throws himself backwards to avoid the moves but hitting the ground just gives Gravy the higher ground. Gravy stomps on King's ankle, then on his wrist. As King rolls over, Gravy knocks him the face with the heel of their boot. They then reach down try to pick King up by the nostrils - a finger in each side. It doesn't get much leverage, but does put King through a fair bit of agony. With King sitting up, Gravy kneels behind him and locks in a sleeper.

King's eyes widen as he tries to fight off being put to sleep, but eventually, he begins to fade. The ref is right there in front of him, and ss his eyes begin to close, the ref checks for responsiveness, but receives nothing. He lifts King's arm up.

It drops!

He lifts it up again!

King thrusts his arm higher! Channelling an 80s babyface even though the only thing he has in common with one is all of the cocaine they both snort, King fights to his feet! A quick elbow to Gravy's gut loosens the hold. A second breaks it completely. King tries to use his speed to run to the ropes. Gravy catches him! King spins. Poke to Gravy's eye! Kick to the abdomen! F Ur Head!


King struggles with Gravy being over 50lbs heavier than himself. When he eventually muscles Gravy up for the brainbuster, Gravy gouges King's face - the two both playing as dirty as each other. King drops him! And Gravy is able to take advantage!

A kick to King's gut this time leads to… Graves Consequences! King is up for the crucifix powerboat! But he wriggles free this time!

King drops down behind Gravy and… school boy! Or, I mean, school non-binary person! Wait… is it named after the attacker or receiver? Doesn't matter! Gravy's down!!!


King pulls the tights. The ref doesn't see it!


King puts his feet on the ropes too. Because why not cheat twice if you're going to cheat at all? The ref doesn't see it either. Which means…


King wins and slips out of the ring before Gravy even has a chance to complain. He snatched the Lord of Violence and bolts backstage without pausing to celebrate.

Winner and STILL Lord of Violence: Kieran King


The theme for American Gladiators blasts out, and this time the Mexican crowd at least seems to be more excited than not. The camera sweeps to the side of the arena where the Gladiators events are set up and settles there without interruption.

"Introducing first, your GLAAAAADIATORS…!"

A row of men and woman begin filing out onto the course.

"First, from the 2008 revival led by the awful, former King of the XWF, Hulk Hogan…


[Image: Rocket.jpg]


[Image: Fury.jpg]


[Image: Titan.jpg]

and Steel!

[Image: Steel.jpg]

And joining us from the British series… nevermind their ages, it's…


[Image: 0-Lightning-has-never-been-beaten-in-the...743403.jpg]

and Wolf!

[Image: wolf-Gladiator-718004.jpg]

And introducing our special guest Gladiators for tonight…

Reigning UFC Featherweight AND Bantamweight Champion… Amanda Nunes!!!...

[Image: 0bc89f79-fead-4048-98a4-daa3e10d1d04-NUN...-12-11.png]


TV's Terry Crews!

[Image: terry-crews-muscle.gif]

The final two get massive cheers from the crowd as they join the rest of the Gladiators at the events course.

[b]"And now introducing the competitors…

Jacki O'Lantern!

Elijah Martin!


Oliver Taylor!


Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien!

Darcy Graves!

Madame Laveau!"

With the American Gladiators theme still playing, the field of competitors, sans Kieran King who was scheduled to compete, walk onto the stage and line up next to the Gladiators.

Terry Crews makes his pecs dance.

Round 1: Powerball

[Image: Powerball.jpg]

"The first contest of this event is Powerball! Two competitors will compete at the same time, aiming to put as many balls as they can into the cylinders at either end of the playing field, in 60 seconds. Three Gladiators will try to stop them. The cylinders on the outside are worth one point, while the cylinders in the middle are worth two. After each competitor has played, the scores will be ranked from most points to least, and this will serve as seeds for the next round."

With the rules explained, the contest begins.

Match 1:
Oliver Taylor vs. Elijah Martin
Gladiators: Wolf, Titan, and Terry Crews

Oliver Taylor starts quickly with goals in the outside cylinders, but after Elijah Martin makes two successive goals in the centre, Taylor finds himself constantly hunted down by Titsn. Martin, meanwhile, seems to have the aging Wolf's number, while Terry Crews makes his pecs dance.

Oliver Taylor - 2
Elijah Martin - 7

Match 2:
Darcy Graves vs. Pebbles
Gladiators: Fury, Steel, and Lightning

Fury and Steel work together extremely effectively to smother both Darcy Graves and Pebbles' attempts to score, while Lighting lingers in the background. Darcy makes the first real breakthrough, but only serves to district Lightning as Pebbles sneaks through to score first. The struggle continues throughout, making for a low-scoring contest.

Darcy Graves - 2
Pebbles - 3

Match 3:
Thrax vs. Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien
Gladiators: Rocket, Titan, and Wolf

The Gladiators seem absolutely baffled by these two competitors, allowing for a quick barrage of goals. Rocket eventually lives up to his name and being fresher than the other Gladiators, takes control, cutting down scoring attempts left and right and ending the match on a downer for the competitors, as they draw.

Thrax - 4
Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien - 4

Match 4:
Jacki O'Lantern vs. Madame Leveau
Gladiators: Amanda Nunes, Lightning, and Fury

Amanda Nunes is hyper-aggressive from the outset, taking Jacki O'Lantern down in an armbar. But this is overly rough for the rules of the game, and she gets disqualified, being forced to sit out! With the aged Lighting on the pitch, this puts a lot of stress on Fury who is still 15 years out of her prime! Jacki and Leveau run in a bevy of goals, most in the centre, in a race to become the top seed for the next round.

Jacki O'Lantern - 11
Madame Leveau - 12

Final rankings:
Madame Leveau - 12
Jacki O'Lantern - 11
Elijah Martin - 7
Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien - 4 (TIE)
Thrax - 4 (TIE)
Pebbles - 3
Darcy Graves - 2 (TIE)
Oliver Taylor - 2 (TIE)

Lining up again, the competitors listen to the next instructions.

Round 2: Joust

[Image: Joust.jpg]

"The next competition is Joust. In this, the competitors will compete against each other rather than the Gladiators, with the number one seed taking on number eight, and so on. The goal is simple. Hit the opponent with your stick and knock them into the water within 30 seconds. Anybody who is knocked into the drink will be ELIMINATED."

The first competitors step up to the plate.

Match 1:
Madame Leveau vs. Oliver Taylor

Taylor starts out aggressively, pushing Leveau back and forcing her to play defensively. But as Taylor gets too focused on heavy hits, Leveau sees an opportunity. One precise sweep of the legs, and Taylor falls into the water.

Winner: Madame Leveau
Eliminated: Oliver Taylor

Match 2:
Jacki O'Lantern vs. Darcy Graves

Both women duel somewhat gracefully with their sticks for several seconds. It's actually pretty impressive how well they each manage to read each other's next shot and deflect accordingly. The clock begins to run down and at just about the last second, Jacki slips a shot through to Darcy's abdomen that forces her to wobble. She can't save herself in time and she hits the water just before time runs out.

Winner: Jacki O'Lantern
Eliminated: Darcy Graves

Match 3:
Elijah Martin vs. Pebbles

Martin and Pebbles approach things very differently with Martin swinging heavily while Pebbles nimbly darts in and out. A cool moment happens where Martin connects with Pebbles pretty hard, only for Pebbles to somehow manoeuvre herself onto the other side of Martin! The time runs out with both competitors still standing.

Winner: Draw
Neither is eliminated

Match 4:
Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien vs. Thrax

Matching up again, just as they did in Round 1, Thrax and The Humanoid have a chance to break their tie. Unfortunately, they can't. Both smack each other with the sticks and they each fall into the water. Like… immediately.

Winner: Draw
Eliminated: Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien and Thrax

With only four competitors remaining, the Gladiators come back into the picture. Terry Crews makes his pecs dance.

Round 3: The Wall

[Image: Wall.jpg]

"The aim of this contest is to climb to the top of this rock wall. Anybody who makes it to the top will make it through to the next round. You have one minute. The catch? After ten seconds, a Gladiator is going to chase you and try to pull you down.

Match 1:
Pebbles vs. Steel

An expert at climbing onto rooftops, Pebbles bolts up the rock wall. Steel eventually gives chase but doesn't really get close at all as Pebbles reaches the top almost effortlessly.

Advancing: Pebbles

Match 2:
Elijah Martin vs. Rocket

Martin starts well but struggles as the complexity increases higher up. Rocket chases after and about three quarters of the way up, pulls on Martin's leg, causing him to slip and fall from the wall.

Eliminated: Elijah Martin

Match 3:
Jacki O'Lantern vs. Fury

Jacki jumps head on into the task and seems to be making good progress when Fury begins their chase. Having climbed the wall before, Fury knows which path to take, which helps her begin to close the gap. Just as Jacki nears the top, Fury leaps, sacrificing herself in the hopes of taking Jacki down! She misses! Jacki reaches the top!

Advancing: Jacki O'Lantern

Match 4:
Madame Leveau vs. Amanda Nunes

Leveau starts her climb and when Nunes comes in ten seconds later, she seems determined to catch up. About half way-up, she does, and the two begin doing battle in the air! Nunes is pulling away at Leveau's arm trying to damage her grip until… what? Nunes looks down and just starts freaking out. Turns out she's scared of heights which seems pretty short sighted putting her in this contest to begin with. Boy I hope that's a thread that's nor just going to be completely ignored for the rest of the match…

Leveau, having been slowed by Nunes, has to compete with the clock on the way up. It gets down to 5 seconds left! 4! 3! 2! 1!

Leveau makes it!!!!

Advancing: Madame Leveau

Only three competitors remain going into the final round!

Final Round: The Eliminator

[Image: Eliminator-large.jpg]

"In this round, each remaining competitor will compete on an obstacle course at the same time. The contestant who completed the previous round the fastest will get a 5 second headstart. The next contest will then be released onto the course, with a 5 second lead before the final contestant joins. Along the way, the Gladiators will attempt to impede your progress. The first person to touch Terry Crews's dancing pecs wins and… WILL RECEIVE A SHOT AT KIERAN KING'S LORD OF VIOLENCE NEXT MONTH!"

The stakes have been raised! Pebbles, Jacki O'Lantern, and Madame Leveau line up at the start of the course. At the end, Terry Crews makes his pecs dance.

Order of start:
Jacki O'Lantern
Madame Leveau

Pebbles launches into the obstacle course and is immediately faced with an 8-foot high wall. As effortless as she scaled The Wall, she bounds up and over the obstacle and reaches the platform at the top. Before her, a pool of water lies stretches out, and just as she looks down, the middle of it is set on fire! Pebbles leaps, just as Jacki O'Lantern is let into the course. Splashing into the water, Pebbles swims down and under, kicking her way along the bottom of the pool as the fire burns above her.

Back at the wall, Jacki reaches the top, but her foot slips a little and she struggles for a moment before managing to pull herself up just as Madame Leveau hits the wall herself. Pebbles gets a nice lead, coming out the other side and pulling herself out of the pool. Jacki leaps in just as Leveau's hands reach the top of the wall and Leveau pretty quickly pulls herself up and throws herself into the water, hot on Jacki's heels.

Pebbles leaps onto a massive cargo net stretching across an abyss. On it, lurks Steel looking to hunt her down. Underneath the fiery water, Leveau is putting serious pressure on Jacki and as they come out the other side, Leveau comes out of the water just after Jacki! Pebbles meanwhile has to take some evasive action to lead Steel astray, but climbing being her forte, she manages to keep the lead strong.

As Pebbles comes off the cargo net, two others come onto it. As such, Fury drops in from out of nowhere, giving the competitors two Gladiators to deal with. Leveau, however takes advantage of Steel being out of position thanks to Pebbles and seems to overtake Jacki, who has to think extra hard to trick Fury.

In the lead, Pebbles comes up to a barrel on a series of tracks. She jumps on, gripping tight as it begins to roll, and being careful not to fall into the water below. It's not graceful, but she is thrown to the ground on the other end - safe and sound! Leveau reaches the barrel herself and begins her own roll, but just as Jacki reaches the starting platform, Leveau slips! And she falls into the water below! Forced to swim to the shore and climb a ladder, Jacki rolls on past again, taking her position back.

Pebbles is now halfway through a handbrake over another pool of water, but seems to be tiring after the sheer speed she's been pressing on at. Jacki manages to start the bike while Pebbles is still going - a sign of catching up! Similarly, as Pebbles gets off, Leveau starts, but is hamstrung a little by her wet hands from her fall before. This slows her down considerably, and lets Jacki and Pebbles take a bit more of a lead.

The balance beam is next, and Pebbles bolts into it, as Titan and Rocket hurl gigantic swinging medicine balls at her. She ducks, dips, and dodges her way through, and Jacki follows tightly after doing the same. Oh but Jacki is hit! She plunges into the water below given Pebbles a massive lead now! Leveau hasn't even started the balance beam and Jacki is only just getting out of the water. Pebbles races towards the giant pyramid she needs to climb, where Gladiators await to stop her– holy hell! Amanda Nunes just roundhouse kicked the soul out of Pebbles' body! Pebbles is down! Pebbles is hurt!Jacki's out of the water! Leveau's made it through the balance beam! As they race into the pyramid, neck and neck as they have been the whole way, they pass by Pebbles getting checked by medical personnel! Amanda Nunes is in their way!

Without speaking, the two decide to team up! Leveau distracts Nunes for Jacki to snatch her up and plant her with the Black Cat Crossing! Leveau follows up with the John Crow, taking Nunes out for good! But Jacki tricked Leveau! She sprints up the pyramid! Leveau is hot on her heels and Pebbles, determined to finish, tries to shake herself back to consciousness and joins the chase!.
Lightning lurks further up the pyramid. She engages Jacki but Lightning then falls and breaks her hip! The path is clear! Jacki reaches the top! Leveau! Pebbles! It's as close as can be!

From the top, each of the three jump onto a zip line. Wolf is waiting in the wings with another swinging medicine ball. He lets it fly! His aim is… good! It connects…!

With Pebbles!

Pebbles falls onto another net! With her head already dazed, she doesn't have much chance of catching up! It's down to Jacki and Leveau! They both land safely from the zip line and only a giant travelator stands between them and Terry Crews's dancing pecs!

They both press upwards!

The travellator begins to speed up!

Leveau is in the lead!




But wait…

There's a slip…!

It's Jacki! She slips!

And takes out Leveau!

Jacki is still within reach!

She dives and tags Terry Crews his dancing pecs!

Winner and Number One Contender for the Lord of Violence: Jacki O'Lantern!

Madame Leveau was so close!

Jacki gets another shot at her rival Kieran King!

Terry Crews makes his pecs dance!

"Monster Mash" begins to play as Jacki O'Lantern celebrates her victory. Suddenly, the music cuts out and is replaced by "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies" by Faith No More.

It's Kieran King! He steps out onto the stage, the Lord of Violence Championship still around his waist after defeating Gravy earlier tonight, and his 'lawyer' Lou Pohl trailing behind him, and points up at the Gladiator course.

King: "Yaaaaaaaaay…"

He feigns applause.

King: "What a fantastic outcome. The XWF faithful gets to see a match it's already seen before, under a stipulation it's already seen before too. Hooray! Because let me remind YOU IN PARTICULAR JACKI, my CONTRACT does not allow me to compete in any more deathmatch-like matches, because the one written in was WASTED already. Therefore, you will get your shot at the Lord of Violence once again. Congratu-freaking-lations. BUT it will be in a REGULAR SINGLES MATCH. You know… like a beat you in already once before."

From the Gladiator course, Jacki squints her eyes at her foe, who looks mighty impressed with himself.

King: "But wait, there's more! In addition to preventing me from competing in stupid, needless deathmatches, AND protecting me from any and all space wizardry that may be afoot, there's ANOTHER clause in it that is relevant to your situation, isn't that right Lou?"

He looks back at his 'lawyer' who nods, holding up a copy of the contract that hasn't been eaten by Gravy. Somewhat suspiciously, not a single piece of ink can be seen on the paper…

King: "I'm paraphrasing here, but the gist of it is that in the event I have to defend my championship AGAIN against somebody I've already successfully defended it against, they must not just put up something of equal value on offer, BUT actually gift me one of their most prized possessions BEFORE the match even takes place!"

Boos hurl in at King's obvious bullshit. Just like earlier in the night, he plays ignorant.

King: "I know, right? The XWF deserves all of your hate for including such a DUMB clause in my contract. Go right ahead and boo them! But…! Unfortunately, it still is in the contract."

Lou Pohl waves that paper once more.

King: "But don't you worry your little heart out, Jacki! I've taken the liberty of arranging your part of this commitment already!"

The X-Tron springs to life showing Jacki O'Lanterns cats backstage! Two nameless goons wearing black gloves start picking the cats up and putting them into a big cardboard box which they then promptly whisk away. Jacki's eyes widen. Kieran King has her cats!

King: "See you next month, Jacki! Sure hope nothing at all distracts you for your preparation this time!"

With a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, King winks at Jacki, before turning and leaving with his 'lawyer', leaving Jacki to fume.

- vs -

For like half this match, MC C-Munqqquee is just leaning across the ring spitting game at Claire Rogers. The weird thing is that Claire actually kinda seems to dig it. Doesn’t she have a man? Is he a cuckold? Is this all like some part of their weird kink lifestyle? Let’s just assume yes.

Vita Valenteen focuses on manhandling Generic Heel, but he belches in her face… and it’s garlic breath! Vita’s vampire DNA sends her body into spasms and she collapses. Ximena Asensio leaps to her aid, making sure her partner is okay, and it lets GH clobber Claire in the back of the head before dragging her into the ring! He turns his shin guard around and then applies a figure four!

Xim sees the debacle taking place and charges back into the ring, but Da Twinzz catch her in a double team… VOLTRON BOMB!!!

Claire taps out to the figure four! That damn shin guard should be illegal!!!

- vs -

Chi Chi Sanada and Jane Harper are in firm control for the duration of this match. Their teamwork is top notch and their timing is superb. They cut the ring in half and focus on Juliana Mendoza for the lion’s share of the match time.

Unfortunately, Sanada goes to the well one too many times and ends up hurting herself with a high risk maneuver from the top rope. The misstep allows a very fresh and eager Emma Couture to finally get tagged in, and she wipes out Harper from the apron before planting Chi Chi into the mat with the HAUTE COUTURE!

Majestuosa Manor gets the win after the 1-2-3 from Couture!

Shake it off by Taylor Swift hits over the public address system as the Vilaro Fitness logo appears over the video screen. Coming out after already competing in the opening match is the founder of Vilaro Fitness, Marsiol Vilaro; the fans boo loudly at her presence as the match is going on, but the fans are letting the narcissistic young woman have it. However, she is naturally admiring the display set up of all the VilaroSystem products right next to her with a few mirrors as the Catalonia beauty takes the time to pose right in front of them. Soaking in her reflection before turning around and facing the audience, she has her headset microphone on. Soon motioning for her music to cut, The audience can quickly hear her loud bubbly voice throughout the arena.

Marisol Vilaro: Whats up Mexico CITY! Yes, all of you, and that goes for all of you watching Madness live! You are all so lucky, and why is that? No, it’s not because of this match in the ring. No, it’s time for all of you to learn how exactly you can become the best versions of yourselves, no you may never have a body quite like mine, but you at least will be able to escape your parent's basements! Thanks to my #VilaroSystem, and all the other amazing VIlaro Fitness Products.

The boos overtake the arena as Marisol looks out, disgusted at the reaction. As the Fitness Guru yells out in Spanish at the capacity crowd.

Marisol Vilaro: Silencio, mi voz es la que importa aquí... ¡DIJE CÁLLATE!

The fans boo loudly as the action goes on in the ring, as Marisol puts the microphone up to her lips after the capacity crowd quiets down some.

Marisol Vilaro: See, that's better; when the gift of Marisol Vilaro comes into your life, you should accept it; for example, the offer I am about to give you all will blow your minds. It is the most generous offer I have ever made on my amazing life-changing #VilaroSystem. See, one of the three in that ring has been so inspired by my system he wants to create an imitation, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all, but let us be honest, you won’t be able to compete, right Elijah?!

The fans boo as Marisol approaches the table and picks up the newest product from Vilaro Fitness, a scented muscle oil. She shows the label says Vilarichill muscle oil, and smiles brightly as she shows it.

Marisol Vilaro: This is our newest muscle oil for those tired, sore muscles doing workouts, long grueling wrestling matches like the one we are witnessing here, or when you get beat down so bad you have to vacant your title but are scared! That is okay; with this fantastic product, you will feel relief instantly; and the formula is proven effective, but what I will do since I want to make sure you feel great after long grueling #VilaroSystem workouts for any order, I will give a small sample size bottle of Vilarichil muscle oil such a fantastic value!

The fans boo loudly at this as Marisol shakes her head in annoyance as keeps her eye on the products and the mirror naturally, loving the reflection she sees before her and posing a bit, blowing herself a kiss.

Marisol Vilaro: Just admiring the sight of a future IDL Champion ME! That’s right, and it doesn’t matter if it's Myra or any of the three in the ring currently because, as a woman who has managed world champions, now is my time to become one!

The fans boo this even louder as Marisol keeps her eyes on the mirror and shouts.

Marisol Vilaro: BUT WAIT THERES MORE! For a limited time only, using the discount code CopelandSecondRateChamp, you will get all that has been offered for the low, low price of five easy payments of 49.99 or a subscription rate of 15 dollars a month. A total steal! Plus, I will even throw in a couple of live coaching sessions with yours, genuinely one-on-one that usually, only my clients get access to. But these video sessions will be designed to motivate, inspire, and hold you accountable for your progress. So until next time, make sure you order today and start your pathway to a #betteryou; thank you all!

The fans boo as Marisol blows kisses towards the ring, then the audience before returning the gaze to her favorite thing, her reflection, and the mirror. Before snapping her fingers, she grabs the duffle bags but leaves behind the set and the two mirrors as the match continues.

- vs -
- vs -

Kevin Mears can look back on this match as the moment he declared himself a main event player on Madness.

He dazzles the crowd with his technique, keeping former IDL Champion Elijah Copeland neutralized and Staying one step ahead of Lexi Gold throughout. If not for Copeland and Gold breaking up pins on one another, Mears might have walked away with an early victory over two top stars from the brand.

But, the psychology of a triple threat is exactly that - and Mears ends up paying the price for essentially treating it like an even playing field. Copeland is eventually able to get into a position while Mears is focusing on Gold, and he takes Mears out with a MONEY MAKER!

With Mears neutralized, Lexi and Elijah have a good back and forth for a bit before Copeland takes over and scores the pinfall win using his PHILLY SPECIAL on Gold!

Elijah Copeland is the number one contender!


- vs -

Joss Spencer gets to show off for her adoring fans, all of whom have seemingly worked together as a massive group, with each one of them bringing a big bucket of popcorn out as Spencer gets to work.

Juicy uses his strength and unorthodox style to keep the Equatorial Champion off balance to start things off - but soon enough Spencer is able to take control with her athleticism and quickness. Juicy misses with a stronger splash and ends up hitting his head on the ring post, and as he leans against the ropes in a daze, Joss Spencer hits the ZODIAC KILLER and scores the 1-2-3! It’s a successful defense for the champ!

After the match, Jason Cashe pulls a wading pool full of buttery delicious popcorn out from under the ring and does a swan dive into it face first with his mouth open! He even invites Juicy to dive on in as well!

We go to the back where Steve Sayors is standing by with Walker Hill.

“Hello XWF fans, I am Steve Sayors and right now I’ve got Walker Hill with me. Walker, a tough loss last show, but a lot of people are predicting a nice bounce-back win for you tonight.”

Walker grins and nods a bit.

“Yea, last show I went out there and… well I just flat out got beat. I ain’t gonna say that Mears got lucky or he capitalized on a little mistake or make any kind of excuses. Man was just flat out better than me on that night. I’ve gone back and studied the match plenty, I spent my time upset about the loss and now it’s time to move on to tonight. Me and Sally FKA gonna have ourselves a tussle out there.”

“Would you agree that you’re the favorite to win this match?”

Walker takes off his hat, scratches his brow a bit, and runs his fingers through his hair before he just shrugs.

“I ain’t really put much stock into that kind of thing. Teams been picked to win it all and didn’t even make the playoffs, just like teams nobody expected won the whole dang thing. I don’t know a whole heap about Sally other than she’s awful pretty, she likes to try and use a powerbomb, and she’s got some pretty hard kicks.”

“She’s also been called lazy, sometimes apathetic, and her last win was… well I know she and her partner eliminated some people in that tag gauntlet thing, but…”

Walker chuckles a little and holds his hand up as if to tell Steve he can stop.

“I’m not super concerned with that stuff. If she’s used to being part of a team, and she don’t care that much about winning, well I’ll use that to my advantage. I ain’t gonna underestimate her though. Maybe she is just a pretty face, but I won’t know until that bell rings. Of course, now I think about it, rest of her is pretty dang good too so I guess she ain’t just a pretty… I’m distracting my dang self right now. Regardless of how hard she does or doesn’t work, if she’s a tag team specialist, how hot she is, or what the pundits are thinking, I’m going out there and giving everything I have to get that dubya. Now Stevie join in with me now for a proper Walker Hill send off."

Steve seems a bit confused until Walker leans in and explains, a few hand motions to help out, notably the horns. Walker steps back, and both he and Stevie face the camera. Left foot planted, right foot back, right hand ready with the horns, a big step forward and the hand raises high


With the war cry/catchphrase down, Walker nods, puts his hat back on, and heads off to handle his business.

- vs -

Sally FKA is out of her depth almost from the moment the bell rings.

Walker Hill showcases his skills for the fans, showing off his versatile moveset and letting everyone see just how much talent he has in between the ropes.

Hill barely has to do any sort of defense, though there is a nearfall when FKA lands a FLAT OUT spinning spinebuster! Hill immediately reverses her attempt at a powerbomb after the fact, though, slamming her face first into the mat with a facebuster. Walker drops Sally with a MIDNIGHT TRAIN sleeper suplex, and nearly knocks her inside out with a running big boot!

Walker Hill then gives the crowd a signal and grabs Sally by the feet before turning her over into the TEXAS CRAB!

Sally FKA taps out! Walker Hill gets the impressive W!

Myra Rivers is backstage with the Madness IDL Championship over her shoulder. She’s in a confident mood as per usual, but she knows that her journey with the title is only just beginning even with one defense already under her belt. She maintains her composure as she begins to express her thoughts.

Myra Rivers: One defense down, hopefully many more to go. Summer Page was as tough of an opponent as I expected her to be, but ultimately, I was the one that pulled through in the end. For those of you that have stated in the past that I didn’t have what it takes to finish or that I didn’t have what it takes to break the ceiling, there’s the proof that says otherwise. Of course, at the end of the day, I don’t do this to invalidate the vapid, empty opinions of other people. I have long exceeded that stage of my career. But, defeating Summer Page and being able to retain this title ultimately proves that I am going to be on the top of this brand for a long time to come. Elijah Copeland may have other things that he wants to say about it and I definitely understand where he is coming from considering how he came to not be the Madness IDL Champion anymore. But he will have to earn his shot like everyone else and yeah, I am well aware that he’s going to have that chance to night.

We’ll see if he can capitalize on the opportunity, all things considered. But, the man in front of me tonight is none other than Dick Powers…

Myra takes a pause and rolls her eyes at the mere mention of his name. It’s quite clear that she is not even close to beng amused by his name.

Myra Rivers: Really? I’m not saying that because of his ability by the way, I mean… his god damn name. REALLY? Then again , from what I know of his personality, it’s most likely appalling. I know that XWF has a bit of a masturbation station going on around here. All you have to do is listen to the folks on commentary here on Madness. But my goodness, all the jokes one could make with that name. Sorry you wannabe womanizer, I’m not interested and iif you dare even TRY to make THAT kind of move on me, I personally guarantee that you’re going to have a ladder going right between your legs and you’re not going to like it. You see Dick, I didn’t come to XWF or to this brand to fuck around. Now, some may say I need to lighten up a little and not take myself so seriously or what have you, but as the Madness IDL Champion, I’m bringing respectability back to this brand. Because let’s be honest here… this brand is fortunate that I was the one that won the triple threat. I’m not saying that out of ego or anything, but think of the alternatives:

Holden Ross. Enough said. Nobody has seen him since. Yeah, now THAT is someone that would’ve represented Madness with a badge of honor, right?

Myra pauses for another eye roll moment.

Myra Rivers: Or it could’ve been Sierra Silver… the idiot that didn’t give a crap about this brand, who put minimum effort into her craft, who got far more chances than she ever deserved, and who was so bland in the grand scheme of things that staring at a large salad bowl for a half hour was more entertaining than all of her promos in XWF put together. But hey, I ran her out of this company so good for me for “overcoming evil”?

But as far as you’re concerned, Dick… you’re no better than those two in my book. This brand having you as its champion would be a pretty ugly disgrace to this company if I am being honest. Yeah, I’m really NOT mincing words tonight am I? Well guess what, Dick? You’re going to be pounded so hard that… wait…. Nooooooo… not the right choice of words. Sorry Dick, you’re going to to get rubbed out so mu….waaaaait….. UGH….. fuck it! SORRY!

Someone like YOU is NOT going to be champion of this brand as long as I have something to say about it because men with personalities like yours could NEVER be better than women with pedigrees like mine and the fact that this is happening in a ladder match, where things really started to take off for me not just in my career 15 years ago, but here in XWF? It’s only going to be more fitting! Because ultimately, I WILL prove that I am the true champion of Madness!

Myra makes her exit from the scene, unwavering in her confidence as the scene comes to an end.


- vs -

Myra Rivers gets a HUGE reaction from the crowd here, as they alternate in chanting MILF! MILF! MILF! As well as We Love Myra, clap clap, clapclapclap!

Rivers and Powers are fairly even as it comes to wrestling ability, but Dick’s inherent need to keep showing off for the crowd keeps biting him in the ass. After something as simple as a shoulderblock knocking Myra down, Dick has to do a little dance and take a bow for the fans, who are really not in his corner as he’s against their beloved champion.

Rivers is able to fully take advantage each time Dick has a lapse in his focus like this. She catches him with a nasty VIXEN KICK that practically knocks his head off his shoulders, but it only gets her a count of two.

A few minutes later, Powers shows off his own resiliency by countering an attempt at a running double knee strike in the corner with a big ol’ swingin’ DICKUS CLOTHESLINE! He gets a two count, but he didn’t even bother hooking the leg! Opting instead to try and do the old ‘put one foot on the opponent’s chest and flex for the crowd’ move. It costs him.

Not long after that egregious blunder by Dick, Myra is able to take control for good. She has Dick completely gassed and unable to counter any of Myra’s awesome offense, and a SPIRIT BREAKER from the top rope sets Dick up for the crowd pleasing REBEL BOMB!

Myra pins Dick for the 1-2-3, and the crowd goes nuts!

[Image: dR5ZguS.png]
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