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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Restoration of Anarchy, Part I: Gatekeepers and Keyholders
Author Message
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
04-03-2023, 11:23 AM





“Say ‘fromage!’”

“FROMAGE!”

FLASH!

Sarah Lacklan, recent recipient of a plaque which declared:

XWF’s GREATEST SMILE

SARAH LACKLAN

ESTIMATED WORTH: BILLIONS


did indeed flash her money-maker as cameras flashed. She stood within a group of young women ranging from children to late teens, all beaming with smiles, though she was careful to not actually make any contact with the rabble, subtly having her hands hover just away from backs and shoulders. Eat your heart out, Keanu.

“OMG THANK YOU!”

Sarah became awash in the thank yous as she began to hand out autographs, her flowing hand quickly covering pictures, programs, and other assorted bits and bobbles. She winked at a woman beginning to bear the upper portion of her chest, but otherwise quickly moved on from the disappointed Fang Ganger. Finishing the autographs, Sarah slipped from the gaggle of Baby Birds, again subtly avoiding any actual physical contact, finally pulling up her massive cloud of petticoats to slide into a booth where an older man sat.

“Our thanks, eh!”

The heavy Candaian accent from the man nearly made Sarah grimace, but she kept her features steady, her Billion $$$ Smile shining bright.

“Oh course, Mr. Tremblay! I LOVE doing things for my fans!”

Sarah’s hand…the one stuffed into three pairs of gloves so that she didn’t accidently get it stuck to ANOTHER thing because of the weird red/black mist mixture…shook from the effort to not roll her eyes.

“I love them EVER so much!”

This time, they did roll, but she turned it into taking in the room. The Yukon Inn’s Legends Smokehouse & Grill was just 10 minutes away from the Canda Games Centre…though she was pretty sure she could get there in, like, 6, tysm…and was unremarkable at best.

“Totes love the decor!”

The owner smiled as Sarah continued to struggle with the desire to roll her eyes, and she eventually returned them back to him. He was as unremarkable as the restaurant he owned, but there was something very important about him, something she wanted.

“Ah, I thank ye fer comin’ to my tav-wren.”

Her hand shook very, very hard underneath the table as he pronounced “tavern” completely wrong. Lord Above, she hated Candaians. Thank Baby Jesus her sister finally got away from it all!

“Any time! Now, about that teensy, weensy favor.”

She gave him a wink, her long lashes coming down in a delicate wave above her odd red eye, and he blushed.

“O’ course, eh!”

From his pocket, he pulled out a set of keys. Conner Tremblay wasn’t JUST the owner of the restaurant within the local inn, but he was ALSO the head groundsman for the building down the street.

“Now, yer sure ye be needin’ this?”

Sarah’s bright smile titled and sharpened as her eyes gained a light of mischief.

“It’s not an issue of need, Mr Tremblay, but of want.”

She took the keys from him and held them up so they caught the light.

“I have no worries or concerns about facing Aphriya Addler in my return to Anarchy. The poor girl has the misfortune of simply being the Double A of the roster, the first to pop up when sorted alphabetically. For her and I, it’s not an issue of difficulty or challenge, but of someone who hasn’t axly been tested coming face to face with the Aristocracy of Professional Wrestling.”

She gives a small shrug of her delicate, yet heavily padded shoulders. The dress was so puffy that the movement nearly put the shoulders above her head with the movement.

“I appreciate that she pretends to do a lot of research on her opponents…it’s come up a few times...but the truth is in the proverbial and famous Lacklanland Blueberry Pudding! Her ‘research’ goes as deep into ‘welp…here’s your moves? I guess?’ and little else. Hell, she even cut her first promotional video on the wrong person! From what I understand, Jamaican Jimmy was SO upset-”

She cuts off expectantly, and her face turns down with the silence.

“I SAID…Jamaican Jimmy was SO UPSET!”

The man and the surrounding girls pipe up this time.

“How upset WAS he?!”

“He was SO upset that he’s never wrestled since! Poor Jimmy! And after all these weeks and months, all she’s really shown is that she’s very good at beating people who don’t produce promotional videos. Sure, she beat Gina, but my mumsie-in-law’s pet has less meat on her bones than a hyena a year into Scar’s reign. THAT chick couldn’t even beat a living zombie at March Madness! Not exactly a road of prime victories for Aphriya. And now?”

Sarah’s plump lips rise in smirk.

“She’s facing someone who knows everything there is to know about Anarchy. Vinnifred Dorothy Lane can book me in the DUMBEST matches all he wants, but I am going to use the opportunity to exploit a girl who, if she spent as much time axly researching and training as she said she did…or as much time as she spent THOTing with all the other skanks at that dumb strip club with Atty…would be somewhere around the ‘lace my heeled boots’ level. I’m going to hit her with so many lariats and clotheslines, each and every one distinctly different because there IS a difference, mind you, that she’s going to be so dizzy that she won’t realize that every single door out of the arena is locked and barred. All except for one.”

She shakes the keys and delights at the sound of the jingle. She turns her head slightly to take in the gaggle of fans who were still giggling over their newly acquired House of Lacklan merchandise.

“You sure all the doors will be locked?”

Tremblay nodded.

“Aye. Those girls be the daughters of me crew. They’ll get their dads to do it, now that they be happy, eh.”

Sarah’s smirk melts into that of the proud lioness.

“Excellent. I am the Gatekeeper of Anarchy, the Keyholder. And I WILL restore it to it’s glory.”

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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (04-14-2023), Angelica Vaughn (04-12-2023), CTN (04-13-2023)




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