Charlie Nickles walks through his valley of the shadow of death all alone, with naught but a single flame for light. The toxic flame flickering at the edge of Charlie’s outstretched arm cackles and roars as it guides him through the darkness, over mighty mountains and across roaring rivers. The great beasts of the night cower and flee at the very sight of his great fire. But such expedience comes at a cost: the toxic flame burns and corrupts all that comes near it, so much so that the air becomes dry and the grass dies as Charlie walks on by. The Nickleman, however, seems completely unconcerned with the wanton destruction of the path he’s chosen

Do his ends justify his means, or does he just not know what it ‘means’ to let something naturally ‘end’?

Either way, the tribulations of time remain undefeated across all divisions, as it soon becomes apparent that the once-fierce flame is running out of fuel. The once illuminating light has now dimmed, much to the chagrin of the last original Bastard. Haunting shadows from Charlie’s past surround him as the flames begin to die. Silhouettes of figures from his past dance around the fading light as they mockingly torment him. 




A chill runs down Charlie’s spine as a sudden gust of wind brushes past him. The illuminating flame is immediately snuffed out, and The Nickleman is completely engulfed by the darkness of his abyssal soul. Charlie shuffles carefully through the murky shadows as the hoarse voices of his dark past call out to him, yearning for him to drink from their well of hate forevermore.





The Nickleman looked around the darkness nervously as he reached out into the infinity of the open space in front of him.

But it didn’t have to be this way…..I didn’t mean to end their XWF careers, it just, it just kinda happened! I got carried away but, I’m not a ‘bad guy’….I know I’m not…..I only ever wanted a title match, I was just making loud noises until I got what I wanted! The barbed-wire baseball bat was just part of a sick game!






The Nickleman shifted as he stood alone amidst his darkness. He stared out into the never ending abyss, trying to see the figures tormenting him from the safety of his shadow. Their faces were familiar, but even more familiar were the scars on their souls. The XWF may remember these fallen few as heroes, but to Charlie Nickles, these shadows had morphed into regrets.

I didn’t really mean to end anyone’s career….I didn’t even know I had that power! None of that was my fault! Just end this fucking daydream or bad trip or whatever- I'm done with all this hokus pokus bullshit!

Charlie tried to push away his own darkness, but it could never leave him, for it was his own creation. So Charlie chose to push through it!

[align=centerStop running!

You can’t hide from what you’ve done!
[/align]

Charlie ignores the haunting voices as he lunges through the darkness in the shadow of his own soul. But Charlie can’t escape his own choices that easily. No one can. Not even Superman could escape his regret with one single bound. Charlie, equal parts out of breath and patience, suddenly slows to a stop in the middle of the darkness. He sets his hands on his waist as he closes his eyes, and prays for this all to just end.

Just let this be over already…fucking Christ…I think I cooked this batch wrong…

When that doesn't work, Charlie finally opens his eyes and sighs with muted disappointment, just before turning around and seeing a life sized poster staring him straight in the face.




The voices in the shadows call out to The Nickleman once again. Charlie can feel his blood boiling as he stares at the poster, but when he tries to look away the poster follows him. The Nickleman tries to walk away but the poster just won’t let him be: it lingers around him above him and beneath him. The Nickleman can’t ignore this elephant in the room…so he knows he must face it head on! The Nickleman turns his head slowly until he’s staring directly at the poster.

No matter where I go, my past will always follow…but I think it’s time we got past all that bullshit that happened years ago.

Charlie spits a big fat loogie on the ground before standing tall and taking a step towards the referent for his metaphysical machinations.

Hard truths can be tough to swallow, but as professionals in this business we ain’t got no choice but to pony and hold ourselves to account at the end of each day. This is the X-W-fucking-F, alright? There’s no god-damned participation trophies and there’s no lifeguard on duty to save your ass when the shit gets too fucking deep. At the end of each match there’s a winner and a fucking loser, and we all know Sarah Lacklan isn’t ‘lacking’ in wins against cha’ ol’ boy here….but two nights don’t tell you the whole story….two battles don’t determine the outcome of an entire war….especially when you only won those battles by fleeing from the real fight on the ground!

The Nickleman walks forward, forcing the poster back as he continues his self-justifying diatribe.

Lil’ Sar’ Sar’ may have beaten me twice, but the hard truth is she hasn’t pinned me a single god-damned time. She hasn’t made me tap out, she hasn’t ever forced my hand. All she’s done in the span of two matches is climb a ladder faster than me. Impressive enough, I guess, but it’s not all that surprising. I’m a grown-ass man: built for warfare and savagery. Lacklan’s a flighty ballerina: built for showing off and running off. 

But let me break it down for you real simple like, in language that even my fucking kids could understand:

If you let a pitbull and a squirrel face off in a tree climbing match, you can bet your ass that squirrel is going to fly right up to the top of that thing. And I guess, yeah, that means the squirrel won….but that squirrel is in for a rude fucking awakening if it gets too cocky and too fucking uppity.

If that squirrel starts thinking it’s hot shit cause it won the tree climbing contest, it might eventually get into some shit that’s way too fucking deep for it to handle. If that little nutlicking rodent starts feeling itself too much, it might just let that pitbull get a rematch: and maybe this time, they won’t face off in a tree climbing match.

This time, they’ll face off in a falls count anywhere match- where anything goes! So that means there won’t be a fucking lifeguard around to pull the squirell’s lifeless corpse out of that pitbull’s mouth!

The Nickleman foams at the mouth as he seethes and rages into the abyss. The poster slowly starts fading away, being pulled back into the emptiness as Charlie unloads yet another diatribe against the fading star.

Sarah Lacklan thinks she’s hot shit, but what has she done for us lately? She got embarrassed by Raion Kido in back-to-back performances….the same Raion Kido I utterly demolished….in BACK-TO-BACK at-bats! Killin' Kido ain't hard, yet still, Lacklan seems to have an AWFULLY hard time with the lad.

That tells me that Sarah Lacklan isn’t a fading star, she’s a FADED star, who’s completely lost her shine and luster. Now all she has left is one more inevitable explosion, until her entire career burns to ash: courtesy of my devil hook drops!

Sarah Lacklan had one championship match against me, and she was never the same since. My challenge completely changed the trajectory of Sarah’s career, a fact she could only deny through seething teeth. In truth, Sarah may have won our first match, but my star has grown so much since then that it’s hardly even comparable anymore.

I have won more XWF championship gold than Sarah Lacklan,I have main evented more XWF pay per views than Sarah Lacklan, and I’ve even won more superstar of the month awards than Sarah Lacklan!

And don’t you ever forget…..I am the only man in pro wrestling to defeat every single XWF Universal Champion from 2022.

If Sarah Lacklan really thinks this rematch is going to be a *repeat*, then she’s a complete and total



For a single frame the screen goes completely black, until we cut back to a shot of Charlie Nickles standing in the middle of a narrow and unlit hallway. The droopy-eyed Nickleman looks around in confusion before turning to the wall in front of him, where he sees his framed poster from his first XWF main event. The glass inside the frame had been shattered long ago.





The Nickleman shakes his head from side to side before he finally realizes that his doorbell has been ringing for quite some time now. Looking exasperated and beaten as all hell, Charlie drags himself out of the dim hallway and into the filthy mess he calls his ‘kitchen’. The light creeping in from between the blinds shows that dirty dishes are strewn all around the place: on top of old pizza boxes, underneath fresh carryout bags. Interestingly enough however, the stove oven appears *crystal* clean (if you know what we mean). 

What the fuck…who’s ringing my door at this ungodly hour? And why the fuck is it so bright outside?

The Nickleman looks up at his clock and sees that it is exactly 10 AM.

So fucking early….




Ugh…just go away! I can't afford anymore girl scout cookies!

The Nickleman threw his hands up and tried to shoo away his visitor from the comfort of his filthy kitchen.

I’ve got better things to do than answer the door for some stupid fucking mormons or whatever the fuck…I think it’s time to make some more rock! That fucking doorbell really killed my high.



Fuck, I’m getting more and more sober each time! This is horrible!


The Nickleman hurriedly reaches into the cabinets under his sink and begins pulling out , , and : you know, all the required ingredients for making ! Charlie starts setting up his equipment on the stove, when suddenly a shrill voice pierces his eardrums.

“Charles, open the damn door! I know you’re in there!”


Charlie would recognize that voice from anywhere.

CONNIE!

The Nickleman rushed to the door in a sprint, opening it up to be greeted by his children, who were flanking his ex-wife on either side. The kids looked happy to see their father, but Connie looked completely over it.

Tyler! Emily! Connie! Are you finally coming back so we can start our family again?

The Nickleman dropped down to his knees as the children ran in and hugged him. Tyler and Emily cuddled up next to their usually absent father and wrapped their arms around him, clearly excited to spend more quality time him. Their mother, however, had completely different plans.

“Charles, I need you to watch the kids for a couple weeks. I'm going to Panama City with Pedro!”


Wait, who's Pe-

But before Charlie could say anything else his wife left in a dash, hurrying towards the topless convertible pulled up on his curb. His wife hopped in the backseat and pounded on the trunk. That's when the one-armed latino in the driver's seat turned towards Charlie with a grin. Pedro lifted up his eyepatch and winked at Charlie with a perfectly fine eye before he pressed the pedal to the medal and drove off into the distance with Charlie's ex-wife in the backseat.