Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

CTN · (03-10-2023)

Sidney Grey paced back and forth, swirling the glass of dark liquor around as she peered at her Executive Assistant, Dani Chow while she sat hunched over the computer, her eyes scrolling through several webpages. Sid gulped down her drink, “Well?”

Dani sat back, pulling down her glasses as she rubbed her tired eyes. “Miss Grey, I search everywhere, there no more prize for find alien. Steven Hawking offer 100 million dollar, but he dead now.”

Sid let out an exasperated sigh. “If they don’t want money, why are those two nerds so interested in proving Jay Omega is really from outer space?”

Dani put her glasses back on and turned to her employer. “Maybe just to prove it real? Get very famous.” Dani paused, “Maybe you prove, make more famousy Miss Grey.”

Sid handed her empty glass to Dani, rolling her eyes. “More famous? So I can become, what? The Queen of the Fucking Nerds?!” She snorted. “I couldn’t give two shits about that! I’m the Queen of Anarchy already and after I beat the pants off of Bargain Bin Pothead Buzz Lightyear, I’ll be one step closer to being the King of the XWF!”

“It seems like you don’t believe that Jay Omega is who he says he is.” The Producer asked. “Why continue to go along with the plan to obtain proof?”

Sid laced her fingers, the corners of her mouth turning into a severe frown. “Do you have any idea what it takes to be a champion?”

“Well, I-“

“No, don’t answer that…” She cut him off. “…if you did, you’d be something other than a disembodied voice with a face for radio!” She smiled to herself, pleased by the hurtful comment. “I’m an actual champion, but I don’t have the one thing to show everyone in the world just how much better I am than all of them. If those two incels can help me find where Tommy Wish is hiding my title, all for the low low price of beating up Jay Omega, which I was going to do anyway…that’s just a bonus for me!”

“What if Omega doesn’t agree to your offer of giving you the proof they’re looking for?”

“That would be unfortunate…” she sighed, “…for Jay Omega! He got pass Bobby Bourbon and he had his way with Astra, and now he’s poking out his chest just like Dolly Waters did. He even recycled the same stale crack about me coming from the ‘B’ Show.” She laughed good and long over that. “If Jay is following her playbook, he should have read ahead to the final chapter that ended with her being carried out of the ‘A’ Show after getting a ‘B' Show ass kicking!” She smiled, sitting back with a supreme look of confidence. “They are all like a broken record or a bunch of flee-bitten parrots all squawking the same thing, as if I’m going to suddenly curl up into a little ball and disappear. Well, that’s tough shit! They can run down Anarchy and me being on it all they like, when they wake up the next morning and find themselves out of the tournament, maybe they can move on down to backyard wrestling since they couldn’t even beat me!”

“Did you hear the comments Jay made about you? Allow me to paraphrase; ‘just when things are going good for you, you shit the bed. He's obviously read up on your history. Do you think there is any truth to that?”

Sid gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “I’m a survivor. Every time one door closes, I kick open a new one. My life is wonderful…and after Weekend Warfare you find Jay and you ask him who shit the bed during the Elite Eight!” She gave a shake of her head. “Spoiler alert, it won’t be me.”

There was a long pause as the Producer worked his way to asking one last question. “What about what he said about you ‘abandoning your child to get high and drunk’?”

Sid was silent for a very long time. Finally, she stood up, taking off her mic. “Jay Omega has a big mouth…and I’m going to shut it for him!” She threw down the lapel mic and stormed off.

UNIVERSE XWF99

El Paso, Texas

Stardate 100702.75

[Image: R.2cfd4cc917f0a23a178627e1ee8952c8?rik=t...ImgRaw&r=0]

The black van of Sid’s ‘employers’ sat far in the back of the parking lot of the Sun Bowl Stadium. They had come days early in the hopes of getting the best possible vantage point to see the match. The two of them sat in the front seat, snacking on Ho-Hos, Cheetos, and Red Vines as they conversed.

“Where’s the first place you want to go after we get Jay’s W.E.I.R.D.?” The one in the plastic armor said as he propped his feet up on the dashboard.

His partner released a cloud of smoke from under his helmet. “Dude! We’ll be able to go anywhere! We’ll have Jay's freaking spaceship!”

“The Khybaris is one sweet ride!” He put his hands behind his head, daydreaming of taking the helm of Jay’s pride and joy.

The one under the helmet chuckled, “DUDE! The first thing I’m going to do is rename it…The Kannabis!” He let loose another puff of smoke and the two of them erupted into laughter.

Suddenly, the door flew open and the two of them let out a terrified scream. It only died down as they saw that it was Sidney Grey, her eyes narrowed to vicious slits. “I need to talk to the two of you!”

The one under the helmet threw up his hands. “We can’t tell you about Tommy’s connect until AFTER you do the job! That was the deal Dude!”

“I know what the fucking deal was! I fight him, win, get his stupid little bracelet and then we trade!” Sid planted her hands on her hips. “I want to know everything you two know about him!”

The one in the armor grinned. “Absolutely! We know everything! We know about his ship, his two wives, all the tournaments that he’s won!”

Sid glared at the two of them. “Fine. Don’t skip anything…not a single syllable! Jay Omega is going to leave this shit hole town with his fucking jaw wired shut!”

“And we get his Wearable Espionage and Information Retrieval Device?” He asked.

"You can have his entire Hasbro collection after I'm done with him!" Sid pointed at the two of them. “I’ll keep my end, you make sure you keep yours!”

Jay, I've spent the last few hours hearing everything about you and I think I owe you an apology. But do me a favor and don’t tell anyone that I gave it to you. Are you ready?

I’m sorry for making fun of your adventures as an intergalactic badass rogue. I shouldn’t have done that. I spent a lot of time comparing you and your exploits to pop culture references here on earth…poorly and on purpose. That was pretty shitty of me. What right do I have to get upset with you for mocking the fact that I come from Anarchy after I’ve mocked pretty much everything thing about you, unfairly and out of hand?

I’ve traveled the world Jay, but you’ve traveled the stars. I’ve battled barefoot on an electrified mat for a championship title I still haven’t touched, but you’ve won interstellar tournaments where the prize was an obsidian statue…OF YOU! That has to be the trippiest mindfuck EVER! I’m not going to lie, if I was in a tourney where I fought through six matches in a single day and I was rewarded with a statue of myself…I’m thinking I’m going right into retirement because no one is ever going to top that!

Well…no one but you, Omega Man! Still traveling the universe…hooking up with hot chicks…not just one, but TWO! That, in and of itself is pretty goddamn impressive! Here on earth, we have people like Tommy Wish who have to pay just to get one below average looking woman to pay attention to him and others like Centurion who have to stuff their adult diaper with comic books to attract pubescent nerds like Ruby! Trust me, you are light years ahead of the competition in that regard…even if they are aliens with barely pronounceable names!

You’ve got it all figured out Jay and you’ve even got yourself a committed fan club who hang on your every word. Somehow, they know everything about you, yet they can’t wait to hear you talk about your adventures in the Orion Nebula or when you teamed up with Omega Dad for a chance at tag team glory. They love to hear you talk about all that weird and whacky stuff Jay…because it’s interesting and it’s fun.

Do you know what’s NOT fun? Hearing some prick with a penchant for thinking it’s cool or edgy to smoke weed while talking shit...ABOUT MY FUCKING PERSONAL LIFE!

No, I don’t have a ‘good’ relationship with my daughter. I may not have been there for every birthday or holiday, but I’m here NOW! You don’t get to talk about my history, running me down because I wanted to have a goddamn career instead of waking up in the middle of the night to change shitty diapers and rock a crying baby back to sleep! I wanted to make something of myself, like you wanted to make something of yourself! You zipped all over the galaxy building your brand…unencumbered, but you talk down to me for trying to do the same! What gives you the right to judge me? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH…you don’t know what I gave up to be where I am…what I lost because of it.

But…you’re going to get a taste Jay. You’re going to find out that all those things you judged me for led me to the moment that you and I came face to face in the middle of an XWF ring. Those cracks about my demons…about my relationship with my daughter…I’m going to feed you those words Jay. Every time I punch you in your face, you’re going to regret it that much more. What I did to Dolly, I did for my daughter. What I do to you? Well, that’s going to be personal…and I’m going to enjoy every single fucking moment of it!

When I’m done with you, you’re going to be begging me to take your stupid little space bracelet!

UNIVERSE XWF99

El Paso, Texas

Stardate 100707.26

The scene returned to the black van as the two men finished watching Sid’s show. The one in the armor turned off the iPad and eased back in his seat. “It seems like she’ll be more than ready this weekend. We’re close to getting our hands on that W.E.I.R.D., I can feel it!”

“What if Sidney Grey doesn’t win?” His associate asked, blowing out a thick white vapor from under his helmet.

“She’s ready to tear him to pieces, but it doesn’t matter. Jay will be distracted and that will give us enough time to find where he stashes it…” He pealed open the plastic armor over his chest and the tiny creature inside, piloting the nerd meatsuit let out a satisfied sigh as it took in a gulp of fresh air. Its voice was tiny and filled with malice. “…and once we do…”

His partner removed his helmet, revealing a similar tiny alien at the controls, this one with a thick mane of dreadlocks. “…it will be Jay Omega’s turn to be stranded here on this insignificant rock!”

[Image: Fq0wbhAXwAAcpLo?format=jpg&name=large]

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode THE WORLD, ACCORDING TO SID
Author	Message