Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Finn Kühn · (02-19-2023)

17 February 2023
New York City, New York

To say I was infuriated and frustrated at everything going on was an understatement. The heavy bag before me reacted and swayed with each and every one of my passing thoughts, being beaten around like a war drum with my fists smashing into it.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

It felt like with every punch I landed on the bag, the weathered, peeling skin of the leather shifted and morphed into a new face. The face of Peter Vaughn, who twisted and manipulated his way through my life and Buster's life for months on end before slithering his way to a victory at my expense.

WHAM!

The face of Chris Page, who had managed to prove himself too sharp in the ring and managed to upstage me when the chips had been all-in.

WHAM!

The face of Jacki O'Lantern was the one who then proceeded to shine through next. A hypocrite. Someone who sought to be a nuisance, an annoyance, and interject herself into matters all in the name of having 'fun.'

She had a very twisted definition of fun. To me, she was little better than many of the others who was causing the disgusting stench within this company.

WHAM!

The smug face of the heavy bag remained on Jacki though as it swayed and wobbled, beckoning my bloodied fists on. Streaks of red began pouring down my fingers as I gritted my teeth, unable to stop myself from going in. I started hooking into the bag's side, again and again as the shaking began to grow to a fever pitch.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAAAAAAAM!

With one final swing, the face disintegrated into nothingness. The heavy bag went sailing off of the mounted chain, sailing off against the nearby wall as a fist-sized hole in the side of it began leaking out packed sand.

Looking at the destruction I caused within this empty gym, I took a long moment, studying my bloodied knuckles. Sweat was pouring off of me like it was rainfall. As I greedily sucked air into my shriveled lungs, it felt like it had been years since I was able to take a true gasp of air. As if I'd been forcing myself underwater and forced to go forward within the deeps.

The promise of revenge was what had forced me to submerge myself and lose that air.

“Fuck...” I cursed, flexing my hand to make sure I didn't break anything. It was only when I was certain I could still move it in any way I wanted to that the rest of my body began to operate as usual again, as I started dragging my body over to get water.

The sound of silence was my response as I cranked open the water bottle. I poured just a bit on my bloodied hands to try and wash off some of the leaking blood, before taking a deep swig. Plopping down on the destroyed heavy bag and looking out over the gym, lined with my blood, sweat and tears, I realized I had been in here for far too long, just... focusing on this match.

I had separated myself from both Skyla and Christine to try and prepare, to get my mind straight. At this rate, I don't even know if they're the problem at this rate. But I wanted to try my best just to clear my mind of any and all distractions, and this was the end result of all that endless training. A hollow emptiness rang throughout my entire body, shaking my core as I hunched myself over and shook my head.

It was funny. I had been dismissing Jacki's pursuit of 'fun,' but at the same time... this entire time I had been back, I didn't think there was a genuine time I was truly enjoying myself. I just stuck myself on this road, knowing it was something I needed to do for the good of the industry and never looked back. Never once wavered. I still knew I couldn't back down from it, but my aching body was screaming at me over it. My mind was screaming at me over it.

“What's wrong with me?” I finally breathed out before burying my face in my hands. Trying to rub out the tiredness in my eyes, I simply took a deep breath to try and keep myself stable.

Was the way I was going about this truly unsustainable? It wasn't like I was getting much in the way of results. Mindlessly gunning for self-improvement without much in the way of gratification was earning me losses - close losses, mind you, but still losses. Something had to change, but...

...

I didn't know anymore.

I didn't know anything.

Maybe I can go about this a different way, but I need to figure that out later.

All I need to do is just go past this one event. Get this one last win. And then, and only then, I can breathe easy for the time being.

I just hope I don't give out on myself at this rate.

Present Day

“Allow me to start out by pointing out that every single thing that is about to happen in this match, Jacki, is coming to you because you've asked for it.”

“I'm meant to be on my road to fighting all the possible champions I can in this company. I'm meant to face the brightest possible people in this industry. I'm meant to be going out there and fighting to become the one true King of the XWF, and instead, I have to go and fight in what is effectively a sideshow because now someone has decided to stick their nose into my business, trying to play tricks on me and lock me out of my own matches.”

“And you expect me to be happy? You expect me to be all smiles and laughs when your move is to lock me in a room for the entire night? You expect me to be all cheery and happy-go-lucky when you get to play pranks like exploding pumpkins on unstable ice, or glass trying to rain down on me? What the Hell is wrong with you? What is your mental malfunction?”

“The fact of the matter is, Jacki, you've stepped foot into a match you're not ready for. I've been busy in main events and marquee matches, and win, lose or draw, I've been going out there and making people respect the name of Finn Kühn. You, though? You take your time to go out on Madness and remain put in the opening matches. Someone's got to be in those opening matches, so I can't fault someone for doing that on their own, but at the same time...”

“You show no desire for improvement. You show no desire to actually want to get better. You're content just to be some smiling idiot, letting life pass by them because 'hey, I'm just having fun!' If you find fun by being an absolute utter joke, then be my guest. But unfortunately for you, Jacki, this is the real world, where people don't dress like it's Halloween twenty-four-seven, people don't play pranks on others that can end up killing them, and people don't have the emotional capacity of children. And most importantly of all, we learn that our actions have consequences.”

“I show respect to those who deserve it. But Jacki... how can you ever expect to come in or out of this match hoping for my respect? Because every single thing I'm about to do to you in that ring is something you've called for with your shitty little antics. Let me put this into terms even you will understand.”

“I'm going to go out there, and show you just what you signed up for. I'm going to go out there and beat you. Brutalize you. I'm going to use my fists and carve your fucking skull in. I'm going to snap your arm. I'm going to work out the past few months that have been full of aggression out on you. And you will have no one to blame for this but yourself. And you're going to learn that your place is at the bottom of the card, and until you want to work on yourself, it's going to stay that way.”

“This isn't a match.”

“It's a goddamn execution.”

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Interlude: Shattered Frame of Mind
Author	Message