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Clamorin' for a Clash: DPI Edition
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Jessie Lee
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02-18-2023, 05:24 PM

[Image: Screenshot-20230216-164126.jpg]




'Ey Yo.

Ladies an' Gentlemen; boys an' girls; hardcore professional wrestling fans of all ages, shapes, genders, sexualities, ethnicities, inter-planetary drifters, and multidimensional wayfarers looking for a certified banger to watch that will UNDOUBTEDLY steal the entire show of the Denzel Porter Invitational; the sleeper match that'll bring the BOOM on an already electric premium live event, the five-star clusterfuck to crown the first ever This Is Awesome Women's Champion!

If that don't get your blood pumpin' than you're pretty much walkin' corpse that hasn't realized it's actually a freakin' corpse.

Kinda like the other four shmucks I get to the unique privilege of eleva-errr.....sharing the ring with.

Totally smooth with no passive aggressive undertones, that one.

Competitive indifference threatening to burst forth in a torrent of verbal diarrhea aside; this match, just as I already said, is goin' to a complete an' total clusterfuck that'll undoubtedly get a whole hell of a lot more brutal than anyone is currently predictin' it will be as they sit behind their little safety screens thinkin' they're the smartest smart marks to ever smart mark.  See, them smarks have already got in their teenie weenie heads that it'll be a done deal where the big money conflict outta the five of us is Crystal Zdunich....Caldwell(?)....pretty sure it's Zdunich......and Selena Frost; the SPLAT Multiverse Champion that's so completely self-unaware that it's almost comedic an' the botox icon of SCW.  Don't get it twisted though, the take no prisoners mentality of Zara Ivory clashin' with livin' definition of "Ain't no Slouch" Brittani Helms is also a pairin' that people didn't know that they needed till now.  That said, I could carry on about the various other pairings of Frost versus Ivory or Helms/ Zdunich for the rest of this little promotional diatribe but the fact of the matter is that it ain't about THEM; not entirely.

It's about walkin' through the hell of  narrow minded self-deluded expectations an' comin' out as the Women's Champion; the FIRST EVER This Is Awesome Women's Champion.

let's not forget that, amongst all the verbal floods of shameless self-promotion, this is about creatin' a legacy that'll do justice to the fire storm that the very formation of This Is Awesome ignited within this fucked up industry that's made up of so many broken pieces that it's nearly unimaginable that something so cobbled together that one could say that'll it'll crumble at any given moment; that amongst all the jagged edges and the damage seemin'ly irreparable that there is some great shit that brings us together.  Granted, what often brings us together is the same fucked competitive desire that tears us apart limb from bloody limb; but hey, who's keepin' track?  But yeah; at least to me, this opportunity to not only represent this wacky messed up world as the TIA Women's Champion but to also define what it means to REALLY be a champion in a world predominantly filled with narcissistic douche-canoes that slurp up their own deluded delusional shit that they're basically walkin' environmental disasters.

Which, realizing what that means after it left my mouth, means that's goin' to be quite the monumental task.
A task that I'm more than up for.



"What.  The.  Fuck."

Standing alone amidst the wreckage of what had been their makeshift home, the near six foot audacious Aussie wasn't properly able to process the scene around her.  Their cots were torn to shreds and their  personal  effects were either missing or outright destroyed.  She had understood that essentially swatting there might not have been the best of ideas, but perpetually living from hotel to hotel wasn't exactly ideal either.  Yes, she was a professional wrestler and sending the majority of your adult life on the road did come along with the territory.  However, she wasn't the sole person that she had to worry about nor was she was the only thing affected in this.  For the last year her life, both personally and professionally, had been a prime example of Murphy's Law where just about everything that could go wrong went wrong.

The initial Action Wrestling debut of the Aussie Assault went less than stellar.  The SPLAT! Multiverse championship slipped through her fingers.  Revolution One, her first ever professional wrestling company she worked for, closed it's doors twice.  Instead of becoming the Action Wrestling Cruiserweight Champion like she wanted, she ended up playing second fiddle to some shmuck that still thought that dick jokes were funny despite being, like, fifty.  Spent the better part of the chasing the Action Wrestling Hardcore Championship to no fucking avail not to mention that becoming Action Wrestling's first ever offical Women's champion and the subsequent Cruiserweght Tag Team straps went as quickly as she had gotten a hold of them.  Then, most recently, she couldn't seen to get the rhythm of chasing the United States Championship either.  Plus, to top everything off she had dealing with the fact that her oldest brother had been diagnosed with cancer while the other brother had decided to finally get clean for the first time in his miserable life.

So using the crystal clear power of hindsight, it might have been a terrible idea to try and open up a gym while trying deal with all of that.  Even so, that didn't take away the pain of witnessing the aftermath of somebody's destructive fun that had been done to the project that you had been pouring your heart and soul into over the last month.  It didn't ease the crestfallen reality of which she forever in.

"It'll be fine, Jess.  Don't worry."

Unable to look her brother in the eye, Jessie shrugged off his meek attempt at comforting her as she swept his hand off her shoulder in a brisk movement.

"Don't, Jack.  Just.  Don't."

With a heavy sigh of disappointment of his own, the middle Lee child simply shook his head a tad before beginning the task of cleaning the chaos around them; a mess that a category five tornado would be proud of.  Perhaps out of an automated sense of knowing that standing around wouldn't do anything or maybe just to simply distract herself, Jessie her brother's example and began cleaning up the mess.




Now that I've set a bit of a stage with my lyrical darin'-do I spit on a whimsy, how 'bout we delve into the objective realities a tad before jumpin' overboard with what you're all really here for; the subjective burial of the of the four overrated ankle biters that're lookin' to add somethin' meanin'ful to their careers since they first set foot into their favorite echo chambers for the first time; let's talk about the 4-star match itself.  Now, much like any multi person match, it's gonna be a guaranteed cluster from the moment it was conceived; of that nobody's gonna argue.  Triple threats, fatal four-ways, tag team, or some uber gimmicked match so uber convoluted that it's basically impossible to imagine any semblance of order bein' kept; stuff that'll wake the zebras in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.  Trust me on this, I had to square off against seven other tryhards aspirin' to become Revolution One's Horrorcore Champion and it was a literal shitshow; eight-man first blood eliminations are next level in the "What The Literal Fuck?" department.  So it's safe to say that I got a fair amount of experience when it comes to volatile shindigs like this an' even more with dealin' with these types of women that'll have the ever enjoyable honor of punchin' in the face; pretty, gnarly, an' horse-faces alike.

Crystal Hilton-Caldwell-Zdunich; the, as of the time of this recordin', SPLAT Multiversal Burning Rose that is at the point of her career where she's collectin' championship straps like junkie addicted to painkillers pops pills.  She's, like, on her fortieth(?) or forty-third world championship at this point.  In all honestly, I've lost count of how many times she's inflated her numbers cause it's like she's that one annoying kid back in primary school that would lie about EVERYTHING just to make it seem like they were better than they actually fuckin' were.  Don't get me wrong, she's proven herself to be one hell of a competitor inside the ring, but when your sittin' there, a proven dynasty in today's world, hittin' up social media a dozen times a day claimin' that you're the overbearin' generic underdog that'll never stay down an' will ALWAYS prevail no matter what; it makes everyone with at least  two brain cells gag and if they say otherwise then they're straight lyin' through their teeth.

End.  Of.  Story.

Then we got the Snitch Shooter herself, Brittani Helms; which I find totally hilarious cause, as everyone knows, snitches get stitches.  Now, I'm sure we're all aware that Britt-nit is as hard-nosed an' as tough as they come in a sub two hundred pound frame, but bein' a DC Savage don't amount to much in the face of the Horrorkore Hottie that spent the first year of her profession wrestlin' career takin' down literal fuckin' psychos, crazy cult members that attempted to slit her throat on live television, and givin' better than she got from one of the single greatest World Champions that Level up Wrestling had the pleasure of having represent them in Maggie Lockheart.

The DC Snitch is gonna fuck 'round an' find out right quick that the copy and paste tough chick shtick crumbles when paired against someone that's just tougher, angrier, an' far more violent than she is; me survivin' against all the people that tried to or are tryin', in the here and now, to kill me are just a testament to the fact that she ain't even pryin' the TIA Women's Championship from my grasp; not this time an' certainly not to her.

While I'm still on the topic of the run of the mill tough girl acts that doesn't mean jack to me or anybody followin' the Invitational or the World Series of Wrestling; Zara Ivory, the "Chaotic Nightmare" that currently holdin' the ZION Gateway strap firmly in her little LOL XD random early two thousands era claws.  Now, I'mma be honest that admit that I like her spirit an' find her a whole hell of a lot more interestin' that Zduy-nicked.  However, that just means I'm gonna be comin' at her harder cause that's just the kind of twisted mentality that God gave me.  I see someone I like that has the same interests as me; I beat the ever living hell out of them outta respect an' expect the same; then we move on an' I raise the newly debuted TIA Women's Championship into the air in triumph.  Cause whether she wants to admit it or not, bein' a Queen ain't nothin' more than momentary fad that'll fad outta pop culture sooner rather than later; like how she'll fade outta this match when I spin her right round an' drop her on her dome with a healthy competitive prejudice an' a wicked Leethality.

Last, least, but certainly never counted down an' out; the irrefutable face of SCW herself, Selena Frost.  Now, this is the part where I try an' spit out some snappy line about how she lives her life as if it were scripted out by some sky God that moonlights as a WISH brand Anne Rice wannabe where I would then follow up with some generic dig 'bout she'll be getting fucked by more than just a ghost with big dick energy when she steps into the ring with me.  However, I would kill to have such a life an' I can't in good consensus say such things as I'd kill to have a life like that; any emo kid that read any of her books an' never out grew their scene phase would.  That said, all the overbearin' talk about integrity and making championships worth somethin' again might sound great to the average mark but any half decent smark can pick up on the thinly veiled pretentious  nature in which you judge an' determine just how far other are beneath her.  Which is fine an' dandy for the sigma simps that get their jollies off from those kinda folks, but I ain't here to fuck spiders and be just another statistic victim to self-absorbed cunt with a complex that's mildly more tolerable than the sickeningly melodramatic attention whore nature of Crystal Hlt-a-ton Pseudo-nich.

Then again, who am I to say any of this; to immediately blend the objective nature of this match with my subjective observations of the other four women that oh so obviously outclass me?

I'm glad ya asked.

Not that I wasn't gonna cram it down your throats anyway.




Time flies when you're miserable and locked in your own mind.

She wasn't sure when, but at some point during the rare moment where the two siblings didn't verbally clash, she had moved away from slowly cleaning cleaning the mess that had been made out of their residential area and had moved onto to some other part of the building that had been trashed.  In her daze she hadn't noticed the transition trashed campsite to one of the other rooms that she and her brother had spent time on remodeling; from stereotypical trash such as beer bottles to straight up graffiti and debris from walls that had been freshly painted a few days ago.  She didn't understand.  Just what exactly had she done to deserve such a thing as the destruction of her gym-to-be?

Just.....

Why?

Exhausted more from the mental gymnastics she had been forcing herself through in a vain attempt to figure out an answer, the defeated feeling young woman pressed her back against one of the few spots in the wall that hadn't been utter trashed and slowly slumped to the floor.  Wrapping her arms around her legs and hugging them to her chest, she buried her face into the rugged texture of the jeans she wore; struggling to fight the tears welling within her eyes.  All she had ever wanted to do was wrestle and open up a place where people could get away from their bullshit lives for a moment; distract themselves from chaotic horseshit the world was hell bent on feeding them.  This gym, the thing she had been predominately saving up for over the last two years, had been going to be such a place where people could workout; have those neat little clubs that one might see at a university or college; play host to martial arts classes and even do some pro wrestling stuff.

It had been a long shot, she knew that, but that didn't me the desecration of the place that had been quickly been becoming her sanctuary hurt any less.  In her fleeting idolization, she had hoped that one day the little gym would grow into a place where world class events like the Denzel Porter Invitational might one day consider or, at the very least, some similar organization as her would offer to partner up and share ideas and experiences with the community in which they would build.  It sounded naively idealistic, but she had truly hoped that one day her miserable existence would do right by people.  She was selfish, pigheaded. overly loud and obnoxious, and was more than likely not worth anyone's time as people tended to suggest.

She wanted to be a part something.

Wanted to be a rock that people could lean on.

To be someone in a sport that she held so dearly.

Most of all, she wanted to feel as if she were a human as well.

Yet, all thoughts of anything faded away as the tears began to flood forth.




I'm Jessie Lee.

I'm the big titty goth dommy mommy that you never knew ya NEEDED.  I'm the one that's gonna burst the bubble of exception that every naysayer uses as the only justification seems to have in tellin' me that I ain't ever going to amount to shit in this industry.  I'm the one that's gonna prove to be more than JUST Hatchet's replacement an' I'm going to give each of those fine femme fatales more of a war than they had ever been expecting to have when they agreed to join in on this opportunity.  Last but never least, I'm the literal fuckin' bane of every single competitive warrior that suffers from the backward thinkin' where they're better than everyone around them; the poison to their paradise.  Bitch, I'mma be the one walkin' out as the Tis Is Awesome Women's Champion!

YEAH!

That bein' said, I know full well that there are gonna be more than enough sweaty tryhards out there that'll easily disregard this blusterous bravado of mine as their simpin' protocols hit overdrive, and yes, recently things haven't been goin' too grand for me in Action Wrestlin'; you try dealin' with an over the top troll with a fetish for crammin' so-called traditional American values down your throat all the damn time.  Plus, the last time I got one of these sorts of multi-promotion opportunities didn't turn out so well an' I spent the entirety of last year locked in my own head about it.  So, to me personally, the chance to win this match is a tremendous chance for me to right that ship an' hopefully start mendin' bridges that might give the chance to branch out so that other top class promotions such as Zion, SCW, XWF, or where ever else will allow me to one day pop into their competitive biomes an' thrill the die hard fans that ceaselessly support them.



"Bloody fuckin' hell, Jess.  When did ya turn into such a weepy cunt?"

Gingerly running the back of her hand across her face, she wiped away the remnants of the tears that she had been shedding for the better part of the last half hour.  She was being hard on herself, she always was and always will be, even so it was hard to deny the fact that she felt remarkably better.  Not only about what had happened to her safe space, but what she had been through over the last two years; things that, due to the nature of her schedule, she had never had the opportunity to address.  With the weight she never knew was so heavy now lifted, Jessie made her way back to her feet before finally making her way back to the room in which she had seen her brother last; over bloated trash bag in hand.
 
Enough time had been wasted with self pity party and the basic level of cleaning; Monday Night Clash and the Denzel Porter Invitational were looming and, needless to say, she was now a bit behind when it came to the training that she'd planned; behind and mentally kicking herself for it.

The Denzel Porter Invitational; that was something she was incredibly bummed about missing the first time around in both not having been asked to compete as well as not being quick enough to snag tickets when there had been a chance.  Judging from the card that had been advertised at the time and the subsequent videos and clips that had blown up the internet afterwards, she had been perfectly justified in being bummed.  Even so, up until a few weeks ago she never imagined that she'd actually ever be presented with the opportunity to be part of something like it; even now there was a part of her that didn't believe it.  Yet, here she was, acting as a replacement for the diabolical Molly Hatchet.

She still hadn't any idea why the Mistress of Hatchets backed out.

Nonetheless, her loss was Jessie's gain and she had absolutely no plans of not becoming the first Women's Champion for This Is Awesome; lord knows she owed them for getting her name out there in the first place.  However, she hadn't been lying to herself the past several weeks by thinking that it'd be a complete and utter cake walk.  the match itself was fairly high in terms of difficulty, but the four other women that'd be competing weren't slouches b any stretch of the word.  Zdunich was well over twenty world title reigns and had an explosive second wind in terms of her career when she managed to get a hold of the SPLAT Multiverse strap; something that Jessie still regretted being unable to do.  Selena Frost was a certified icon and, at least in her mind, was what Spencer Adams was for Action Wrestling in SCW; MisSCW, as it were.  Zara Ivory and Brittani Helms weren't far behind either; both women had a tremendous amount of success behind them and they were unarguably cut from the same cloth as she was; rough, tough, don't give a fuck and always spoiling for a fight.

It was Cliche, and she knew it, but she was thrilled about what was to come at the Invitational; win or lose.

Before any of that, however, she needed to make sure sure Jackie hadn't gotten himself into trouble during her......forced self care break.

She had enough problems to deal with.




So, for those that found it incredibly difficult to follow the fresh word salad that I just served up or if ya're sufferin' from early onset dementia.

I'm Jessie Lee.

The Aussie Assault.

The Horrorkore Hottie.

The young blood  set to make one hell of a splash at your expense when I topple for top contenders in NY Wrestlin' promotion!

Yet, most of all, I am the fIRST TIA Women's Champion!

Now, let's fuckin' go.
[-] The following 1 user Likes Jessie Lee's post:
Theo Pryce (02-18-2023)




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