Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Vagabond · (04-08-2023)

Weekend Warfare (2/25/2023)
Isaiah King & Vagabond versus Barney Green & Calypso
Standard Tag Match

What's something Vagabond might share with the two men he'll be teaming up with Isaiah King to face at the 2/25 Weekend Warfare? Sore nuts, fractured skulls, and bruised egos, of course! No doubt Barney Green got his bell rung with that tremendous elbow to the head from Dionysus, and Calypso caught a low-blow from Peter Vaughn--not unlike the one Vagabond got from Astra. A LOT of underhanded tactics were used during the first round of the March Madness Tournament, like Dolly Waters trying to tear Isaiah's eyes out of their sockets. All in all, it was an exciting night for the XWF Universe! However, time is of the essence with March Madness just around the corner. Immediately following Vagabond, Isaiah King, Barney Green and Calypso's eliminations from the tournament, there's no doubt they'll all be looking to put a much-needed victory under their belt, and some momentum in their favor. Question is, which of these unusual tag teams will work together better? Tune into Weekend Warfare on February 25th to find out!

Wednesday, February 15th - Somewhere in Texas

Shaun "Vagabond" Fitz is staring intently into the flames of a small campfire as our scene lights up--pun intended. He looks down at the fire in front of him, then turns to look at us.

"Many things come to mind as I ponder over everything that happened 4 nights ago. I'm reminded of the days I had an unblemished record, but that was back before I ever even stepped into a ring," he says with a chuckle. "Nah, but seriously... Even as a naive youngun I knew it was only a matter of time before someone would come along to remind me that nobody's perfect and nobody--absolutely nobody--can win 'em all."

He sighs heavily, his eyes closed for a moment.

"For me, I was first reminded in November of 2008. I was booked to compete at an event being held inside an auditorium about 30 miles from Boston, Massachusetts. Heading into it I'd already had a few victories under my belt, so I was feeling pretty good about things. 'Maybe this is the right career for me after all,' I remember thinking. That's when I went toe-to-toe with a man named Aaron Ruger. Last I heard he's in a wheelchair now, but back then he had a ring presence like no other, and he was as big as he was mean."

Vagabond lifts up his right hand to show the camera an old battle wound. It looks like it's where he had stitches put in. A LOT of stitches, going from his pinky finger to about an inch passed his wrist.

"Long story short, he did this to me. Broke my wrist, crushed half my hand, and caused some severe nerve damage. I still don't have much feeling left in my pinky finger. Now I look like a bloody Englishman every time I drink."

He shows us how he extends his pinky when he 'throws one back.'

"I have to admit that I was relieved after that very first loss, similar to how I'm feeling right now. Not happy, but relieved all the same. If ever I'd dreamt that maybe, just maybe, I could be the one who went undefeated in match after match... then I guess I've been smoking some pretty good bud, eh?"

A brief smirk from Vagabond before he remembers there may be kids watching; though what kind of parent would let their kid watch the goings-on of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation is beyond him.

"Don't do drugs, kids. Stay in school, behave for your parents, and don't forget to, uh, do your homework and what not."

Such a good role model.

"Or else you might turn out like ol' Barney Green."

Him, not so much.

"Despite all the humiliation and the beatings he's been through, Barney just keeps coming back for more, like it's an all-you-can-eat buffet. I applaud his persistence, but I also have a problem with that near 250-pound, one-eyed wonder."

Vagabond grabs a couple sticks off the ground and tosses them into the fire, then turns toward us again.

"The problem I have with Barney Green is the way he's always dumping garbage on people, and one thing that really grinds my gears is when people disrespect the fans. Call me a brown-noser if you'd like, but I'd rather be brown than Green, if you catch my drift. Here's to hoping the elbow from Dionysus that nearly caved in his skull actually knocked some sense into him, but I'm not holding my breath. Many have tried and failed, so I won't pretend like I'm gonna be the one who'll finally get through to him--even though I'm certainly gonna take a swing at it!"

Imitating a baseball player, Vagabond takes a big swing. "Contact! I better take my base."

He disappears off-screen for a moment, but returns with a wooden stool and has a seat next to the fire.

"I'd like you a whole lot more if you'd quit it with the whole 'screw everyone' mentality you've got going on, you sourpuss, you. Poor Barney Green--the whole world's against him, apparently--and so he's always looking for a fight outside the ring even though he's so accident-prone that he's more likely to hurt someone UNINTENTIONALLY than if he'd actually meant to do it. Remind ya of anyone?"

Vagabond starts humming the Tool Time theme song from Tim Allen's Home Improvement.

"I know some of y'all get that reference."

He looks into the fire once more.

"Like me, you're a wanderer, I've noticed. You like being on the road. It's a lifestyle most 1st-worlders don't understand. I find living indoors and punching time clocks to be too... restrictive. Humans aren't meant to stay cooped up like that; we're a migratory species. But that's where our similarities end, Barney. Your attitude stinks like the garbage you carry with you."

Vagabond stands up and goes to put more wood on the fire. When he notices he doesn't have any left, he just shrugs, grabs the stool, and tosses 'er in.

"Burn it all, right, Barney?"

He pulls out a pack of non-filtered Camel cigarettes from his pants pocket. Using a lit twig from the outer perimeter of the fire to ignite one, he takes a heavy drag, holds it in for a beat, then exhales.

"Now Calypso, on the other hand, I like. Guy's got good energy; gives off some good vibes. Sometimes he gets a little... too excitable, however. Not saying that's a bad thing, just that it gets to be a little 'extra', don't you think? But hey, you do you, bruh." Another puff off his cigarette. "I can't find it in me to say anything negative about you, like I'm 'suppose to' in order to build up this match we're heading into. Gotta build suspense! Sorry, but if you're looking for a trash-talker, you've come to the wrong place. I hold myself to a higher standard and only crap on those who legitimately deserve it. I won't change that for anyone, not even my wife. She's mad at me now anyway, so what the hell. For the first time since we started dating, we weren't together this Valentine's Day. She left the NRG Stadium, hailed a cab to the airport, and flew back to Cleveland while I sat there like a fool nursing my testes. Haven't heard from her since."

Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?

"She just needs time to cool off. This isn't the first time I've done something she wasn't happy about, but she'll come around. I'm sure of it. I mean she met me at a wrestling event, so she knew what she was getting into when we started dating. It's the XWF that she's got a problem with. Too many narcissists and arrogant PRICKS--her words--and a whole lot of poor sportsmanship, which is what I observed IN SPADES the ONE NIGHT I've been there. We're athletes, not barbarians, despite what some people might lead you to believe."

Vagabond draws on his cigarette again and a piece of tobacco comes out and sticks to his bottom lip. With a flick of his tongue it's gone.

"Even though we're in the wrestling BUSINESS, some people want to make it personal. Calypso and Peter Vaughn, for example. There's a whole lot of backstory to that one. Their most recent match was about WAY more than just who got to move forward in the March Madness Tournament. Calypso wanted to knock Vaughn down a peg and, in my humble opinion, I don't think he was focused the way he should've been. Then again, getting arrested and having to go to court will do that to ya."

He takes one last drag and tosses the cigarette into the fire.

"Distractions are a b-i-t-c-h. From here on out I'm going to focus more on the task at hand, and less about everything else. No more getting sidetracked, and--"

Suddenly there's a ringing sound and Vagabond breaks his promise about .2 seconds after making it as he fumbles through his pockets in search of his phone. Once he has it in his hand he hits the green button and puts it up to his ear.

"Jolene, baby, is that you?"

The hopeful look on his face dissipates.

"Oh, hey. Yeah, I was just talking about that. Here, let me put you on speakerphone. It's Isaiah," he tells us. "What's up?"

”Look, I ain’t a big tag team kinda wrestler, but Dolly really left the taste of stale, old vomit in my mouth, and I’m ready to rip these two veterans a new one. The Dino Express of Barney and Caly--Theo really running out of ideas, throwing everyone together like this."

A shrug from Vagabond, still holding his phone out so we can hear Isaiah. "Maybe. Or maybe he knows a good booking when he sees one. But hey, I was just telling the fans what I think about our opponents. Got something ya wanna add?"

"Y’all will hear what I think of 'em in due time, but right now I just wanna make sure you and I are on the same page, and to know whether or not I can count on you to hold up your end."

"One thing you're gonna learn about me, I always give it my all."

"Well, then whaddya say, Vag, for one night only--you and me, we put on a show for the ages?”

"Does Barney have a drinking problem? Hell yeah, let's make it one they'll never forget! Oh, and, uh, don't call me 'vag.'"

When Isaiah speaks it's with a fake Southern accent:

"Then there you have it folks, for one night only! The Vag and The Heir, together in action, bringing a new level of asskickery to the XWF like you ain’t ever seen before. This pair of tournament losers ain’t got nothing to lose, so y'all better be ready for some reckless abandonment!”

"Uh, yeah. We can go with that. Oh, shoot. I think my battery's about to die. Gotta go, Isaiah, we'll talk again real soo--" Vagabond hits the end call button and puts his phone back in his pocket with a smirk on his face. "Gotta save some juice in case the missus calls."

Unlike his phone, however, and as if on cue, the battery in his camera actually does di--

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Reckless Abandonment? We Can Go With That.
Author	Message