So, what do you want to talk about? Could we talk about beating Nedski, again? Should we continue on the Thad train giving him the attention he craves? No? How about the first thing we discuss is how Jason Cashe accepts a challenge to FINALLY square up for a single match for the Television Championship only to see a card released and my opponent isn’t Jason Cashe. Listen, it’s not hard to book a show when your roster does the work for you, and yet here is another case of the XWF protecting their talent. I wish I could say I was shocked, but I’m far from it. It’s become the typical nonsense this place is known for versus delivering the goods for a fight that was agreed to.

Why aren’t you here, Jason?

Why are you hiding behind Theo?

Do you want to do this? Or are you puffing that chest out behind a fucking keyboard with no actual balls hanging between those tattooed legs of yours? I would never have pegged you for a pussy, until now. I was punching down to accommodate you in the first place. What did the powers that be give me instead? Did they book me in something tangible? Did they book me in something that warrants any real level of importance? Nope. They put me in the ring with the same skirt that just LOST the Xtreme Championship and immediately bounces back for another title opportunity.. like that makes a shitload of sense. Here, Jenny, you failed on Anarchy but now you're getting a shot at this. This match is almost as beneath me as calling myself a TV Champion is, almost, but because I carry a meaningless strap means I must now deal with meaningless people. To further illustrate my point not only did Jenny fail against Jason by dropping a title to him that he’ll no doubt lose the moment he steps on any stage that isn’t Madness or Anarchy she also took to the March Madness tournament where she what? Lost again. No wonder the XWF is “special”, they reward anyone that takes losses versus rewarding those that win. It’s easy to stand before the masses and claim someone is undeserving… it’s something completely different when your recent history dictates it to a fucking tee.

In this case, Jenny’s efforts don’t equate to results. I’ve never seen more people get rewarded for failure in my entire fucking life. Yet here we are.

I can’t begin to describe the lack of sense this booking makes. It seems to be the vicious circle of the lack of REAL challengers on the roster. Hey Mark, get ready bud, they’re sending her to you in two weeks seeing as that seems to be the ass-backward trend that is still overly prevalent to this day. Fuck man, I’m so glad I don’t have to be in this space full-time, I’m elated that I broke free from the XWF chains and did what most can’t do or won’t do by branching my massive wingspan and conquering an entire industry while most of you spit your childish insults from afar knowing good and goddamn well that you WISH you could break your chains that bine you to the sinking ship known as the Xtreme Wrestling Federation because by my calculations you’ve got about two more major mistakes left before this ship capsizes while I will standing on the shores looking on and laughing.

Keep fucking around and wasting my time.

Keep trying to save your own from the beatings they’ve got coming to them, I don’t beg for matches and now that I see there’s no chance of Jason Cashe stepping up to my level than what else can I do to entertain myself?

____________________


It was a Friday Morning and Chris Page was soaking in his hot tub in the backyard of his Vegas Estate. He had woken up around 4:30 AM unable to rattle several things that consumed his mind. Chris glanced over at his iPhone to see the time is now 8:00 AM. Suddenly as his eyes dart from the screen it lights up and starts ringing. Chris answers the call with his earbuds while he continues to relax.

”Kat!”

Kat Jones, C.E.O. of CCP Enterprises, is a young lady who doesn’t get credit from the outside world for all the moving and shaking she’s been doing as of late. She’s instrumental in the influx to our brand which continues to illicit responses from the haters of the world, or those that wish they could pull what I’m pulling as we speak.

CHRIS PAGE: I saw it and I like it. At the rate things are moving we are going to collectively run this entire profession.

Chris gets out of the hot tub while snatching a white towel from the grab bar on his way out. Chris pats his face before wrapping it around his waist and tying it off.

CHRIS PAGE: The additions of Rogan and Lucy are top-notch.

Chris walks around the pavers to the hot tub and picks up his phone. He removes the earbuds and places the call on the speaker.

CHRIS PAGE: I think once we get the next sets of pen to paper we’re going to be straight and there isn’t going to be a need to continue recruiting the Class of 2023 as far as CCPE is concerned.

KAT JONES: I feel the same, to be honest, but I was calling you to see if you needed me on Warfare for your title defense.

Chris seemingly rolls his eyes as he states with sheer and utter sarcasm.

CHRIS PAGE: I can’t wait to defend the TV Title! Pfft.

KAT JONES: I thought you wanted to get in the ring with Jason? Did I miss something?

CHRIS PAGE: You mean outside of the XWF not being able to book themselves out of a wet paper sack? Nah, they protected Cashe and slid in Jenny fucking Myst of all people.

Isn’t this the same bitch that took six weeks to admit that she lost her hair to the Bastards? The same chick that she won’t give up and yet GAVE THE FUCK UP via getting herself disqualified because she was overmatched by a “sick cunt”? And isn’t this the same little girl that just dropped the Xtreme Title?

Question.

How does any of the above constitute me wasting more of my time lending the XWF some dire credibility? More importantly how does losing your last two matches warrant ANOTHER title match? Survey says it doesn’t.

KAT JONES: Who?

CHRIS PAGE: Just another waste of space on the XWF Roster.

Chris heads inside through the massive floor-to-ceiling sliding glass door leading into the backside of the kitchen and dining room of the Page-Wolf Estate as he states.

CHRIS PAGE: I do think we need to fly you in for this. I don’t trust any appearance under the XWF umbrella. It’s painfully obvious that Theo is going to look for any reason to put the screws to me where ever he can. We need to be prepared.

Speaking of being prepared, how about the stipulation that rests at my fingertips? The fate of Jenny Myst hangs in the balance because I get to dictate the pace. I mean, it might mean something for me to name a stipulation if it wasn’t already a forgone conclusion that her fate was sealed the moment the brainiacs with the pencils wrote her name across from mine, and let’s face it… it’s not like a show goes by where there aren’t eight gimmick matches taking place; which sidebar, you’d think such FANTASTIC businessmen Lane and Pryce call themselves being would understand that with THAT many on one card, you completely saturate your program while taking importance away from gimmick matches that COULD matter.

At least they didn’t tarnish the March Madness tournament with that bullshittery.

I digress.

I honestly find myself wondering what I want to do knowing that Jenny isn’t going to sell the stipulation as her history has already shown. Do I force you out of the company? Do I embarrass her further by proving that she will quit if I make her say it? Should I humble her to the degree that she can no longer stand? So many questions are running through my head.

CHRIS PAGE: Speaking of being prepared… let me give you a call back.

Chris ends the call as he heads into the master suite of the estate. He emerges several minutes later in a pair of grey sweat pants, a white tank top, with his cell phone in his hand as he is looking down at the screen while sending a text message.

CHRIS PAGE: He probably won’t respond, but on the off chance that he does…

I’m not going to pretend I know a lot about Jenny’s more recent run here in the land of the Xtreme but I’ve seen more than enough to see that the one thing Jenny hasn’t been able to do for the better part of three years is to evolve past the sideshow act she’s been slinging. Do you ever wonder why you always seem to fall short when it comes to anything of real substance? Because you’re terrible at this.

Yeah, you’ve won a slue of Championships.

Who hasn’t?

You seem to find yourself in Championship matches more often than not… before you brag, have you seen the roster?

I’m not going to sit here and pretend that you belong here. The entire point of being Xtreme Champion is to do what? Win a fucking briefcase. Did you accomplish that? Nope. Failure at its finest, save the excuses. They’re not needed or wanted… kinda like you.

CHRIS PAGE: I forgot what it felt like to have some peace and qui…

Chris’s phone goes off before he can finish his sentence, and a slick smirk graces his face.

CHRIS PAGE: Do you still have Jenny’s hair?

Chris audibly states while texting the question.

CHRIS PAGE: Now we’re getting somewhere.

Chris makes his way to his recliner in the living area of the massive estate where he plops down and throws his feet up just as his phone goes off again. He looks at the picture response before typing as he speaks.

CHRIS PAGE: This is going to sound weird but, can I borrow it?

Chris hits send.

CHRIS PAGE: This is going to be great if I get the response I want to hear.

So going back to the stipulation at hand. Something that Jenny does seem to get a lot of is something that I think I am more inclined to take away. The one thing that anyone will do if they bother to follow my career over the last year or so is that I’m not taking things that I don’t deserve or haven’t rightfully earned.

Take the Television Championship as my example.

Was I just randomly booked in a match for it? No, I earned it by knocking off four of the five other participants locked inside an Elimination Chamber and then I knocked off the XWF’s resident soccer mom further establishing my dominance while continuing to make Nedski my bitch in the process. I don’t have the bookers wrapped around my finger, I don’t have to be granted opportunity after opportunity, and I sure as hell don’t have to prop myself up when I have people like you or The Saga that will willingly do it for me.

The more I thought about it the more it became clear.

How do you force someone to acknowledge their shortcomings in a way that gives them no fucking choice?

”Chris?”

The voice of Candice is heard coming from behind Chris as she enters the foyer from the front door gaining his attention.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE What are you doing?

CHRIS PAGE: Enjoying a little downtime before things pick back up again.

Chris states as he lowers the footrest on the recliner and gets up to greet Candice with a gentle peck on the lips.

CHRIS PAGE: Actually I’m not going to lie… I’m scheming.

Candice simply shakes her head.

CHRIS PAGE: it’s for a greater good though, I promise.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: Why do I find that hard to believe?

Candice asks as Chris’s text notification goes off once more and like a kid in a candy store he retrieves it from the armrest of his recliner. Chris views the response causing him to giggle like a schoolboy while he types out a response and hits send. Chris’s eyes meet Candice’s and it’s like Candice can read Chris like a fucking book.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: This CAN’T be good.

CHRIS PAGE: It’s better than good… it’s GREAT!

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: What?

CHRIS PAGE: Just you wait and see!

When it comes down to it there are so many different directions I could go with this but ultimately I’ve come to terms with what I want from you, Jenny. I want to remove you from all title pictures for ninety days and in the process have you dwindling in obscurity where you belong. The concept is simple, no drama, no bullshit, one on one, me versus you, and if hell freezes over and you beat me the belt is yours.

… but when I beat you, and I will, you’re done for ninety days.

The days of you occupying title opportunities are going to come to an end while in the process I’m going to do the XWF roster a favor because there are only so many theatrics one can stand before it becomes subpar at best. I wish that I could have come up with something more grandiose, but the bitter truth is you just aren’t worth that kind of thought process. I’m kind of shocked you’re even still around, aren’t there more people here for your liking?

Don’t answer that.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: Why am I suddenly feeling nervous? The last time you told me to wait and see you ended up buying a baseball franchise.

CHRIS PAGE: It’s bigger than the baseball team, it’s bigger than the ladies' football team, and it’s going to be the biggest thing the XWF has ever seen.

Chris’s phone goes off again. His eyes hit the screen reading the response. Chris finishes and opens up a browser.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: What are you doing now?

CHRIS PAGE: Googling a witch doctor.

Candice immediately lashes out with sheer shock in her tone.

CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: A WHAT?!?!

... to be continued.

I know you might not look at ninety days without the hope of challenging for a strap as something groundbreaking, and chances are the pencil pushers are going to “forget” it’s even a thing thirty days in. I promise you that this will be the most relevant you’ve been point blank period because, for the first time in a long time, your peers are looking upon you to save them from the walking nightmare I am going to make all of you while I’m collecting another check that will just be added to the pile. For your sake I hope you avoid the traps, avoid the landmines, and for the love of God bring me something tangible to the table.

… don’t let me down.

No wait, you already have. I can smell the blandness and the sheer generic nature a mile away.

For the rest of you allow me to put you all on notice. The Television Championship is mine until I see fit to let it go. What’s stopping me from tossing it in the trash? What’s stopping me from showing up to defend it? Nothing. The truth is I’m entertaining this “run” because none of you are capable of stopping me, and what happens IF you do? Nothing. An old fuck like me isn’t supposed to be better than you yet every day I do more for this industry than most of you do in a career. For a guy that’s so terrible, for a dude that’s got this “rep”, for as many times as cancel culture has failed when gunning for me you’d think that if the trolls and the marks can’t get the job done what the fuck makes you think you can?

My legend continues to grow.

My organization continues to dominate.

And there is nothing more entertaining than thumping the less fortunate to remind them why I am me and you will always be you.

Not too shabby for fifty-three, what say you?


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- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion