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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare Results
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Weekend Warfare - February 11th, 2023
Author Message
Theo Pryce Offline
King of Kings
Management Lv. E-Rex

XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)

02-11-2023, 09:25 PM

02 - 11 - 2023



March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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Pyro goes off around the arena rivaling Anarchy's fireworks show, some, nay, most saying it was a greater sight!

HHL: Hello everyone and welcome to a very spec-

Heather is immediately cut off.

[Image: 8ad7bd58e7556d95afa5528eb43113a9.gif]

Static fills the screen before the camera blinks several times and comes into focus on the gold plate of the XWF Television Championship. The camera pans back revealing it on the top of an office desk, and upon further pull back it’s revealed the office desk is that of Chris Page who sits behind the desk at CCPE Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada. The crowd echoes with boos filling the arena as Page sits with a cocky smirk on his face as he addresses the XWF Audience with the words “Live Via Satellite” on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen.

CHRIS PAGE: I hate to be the guy to say I told you so… but I told you so. My gut has never steered me wrong, and the puzzle pieces all came together, but what did you accomplish? Nothing. I walked into Lambeau Field and won the Television Championship, I made another member of this Saga eat their words, and I’ve corrected Raion Kido who said in his promotional packages that he’s been unbeaten since losing the Universal Title, but yet for those that missed it watch this.

CCPE vs The World: 1.22.23

The anticipation starts to build as Chris rolls over to his chest and starts pushing himself up to one knee before standing up to a vertical base. Kido explodes toward Page looking to deliver the HEART PUNCH when Page spins with a second Judas Effect on the money staggering Kido and allowing Page to drive the boot to the midsection, underhook the arms, and drive Kido into the canvass with the Angel’s Wings!


Chris rolls Kido over executing the side press and hooking the inside leg.





Match Time: 23:28


DENZEL PORTER: Chris Page has just defeated Raion Kido!

Fading back into the office of Chris Page who simply shakes his head at the camera.

CHRIS PAGE: Looks like a loss to me, what say you though? You do not get the luxury of putting up that front, Mr. Kido, and while our paths are going to cross again make no mistake about it the result will ALWAYS be the same, ask Ned.

Boos are heard from the crowd.

CHRIS PAGE: Disrespect is something that’s floated around the XWF for decades, I should know, I’ve been here for it but NEVER has it been as prominent as it is now under the leadership of Theo Pryce. I’m the guy that he will say with a straight face that I am a nobody that hasn’t earned anything I’ve attained and thus has gone overboard on ripping off CCPE with this delusional Saga.

Chris leans forward resting his elbows on the desktop.

CHRIS PAGE: I scoured the World to find the best of the best, the cream of the crop when it comes to performers in this ring and I created the Enterprise that turns heads where ever we go… Theo Pryce does the same thing. Hmmm, let me think about that. Since this Saga has made intentions known I’ve started cutting them down one by one starting with heart and soul Raion Kido at CCPE vs The World by beating him clean and clear in the center of the ring to just a couple of weeks ago taking away the only thing that made Ned Kaye relevant.

Chris reaches over picking up the Television Championship where he looks at the gold plate while stating.

CHRIS PAGE: But CCPE is overrated, right? CCPE can’t do it alone, right? Pfft. That rumor and innuendo were shattered a year ago so I’d suggest you get with the times, or continue to look like the village idiots.

Chris lays the title on his desk.

CHRIS PAGE: We all know that I’m better than this piece of crap on my desk, it’s punching down for me because none of you will punch up, and seeing as I have to keep punching down I might as well continue to run through this Saga person by person until I find myself standing across the ring from you, Theo. Ya see for MONTHS your boy Jason has been calling my name, and for months I’ve been a little busy with not only my organization but purchasing a baseball team, working the circuits by taking the best of the best while not worrying about the lower end of the spectrum or catering to charity cases.

There’s a smirk that graces Chris’s face.

CHRIS PAGE: To hear this fuckboy run his mouth you’d think he’s been chasing me for a match only not giving me a time or date makes fitting you into my BUSY schedule a little difficult, right? But you WANT it sooooooo bad, pfft. Kid, you’re going to get snuffed out once and for all, you’re going to find yourself in the same boat as your fellow Saga mates that thought they can tangle with me only to limp away with their tails between their fucking legs. The unfortunate situation that you’ve found yourself in revolves around just how much time I have on my hands so that I can deal with some long-lasting charity cases. In just two short weeks you’re going to get EVERYTHING you asked for but then it’s going to be way too late for you to understand you NEVER wanted it in the first place. Tick Tock, Jason.

Chris slides his chair back from his desk. He looks down at the TV Title and merely laughs at it before directing his attention back toward the camera.

CHRIS PAGE: That brings us full circle to the man that thought he had the wool pulled over everyone’s eyes, the man that was pegged well over a month ago as being a traitor, and yet is stupid enough to try and buy himself out of a contract that didn’t require it. Who the fuck does that?

Chris walks from around his desk to a display table just off camera where hundreds of thousands of dollars are neatly stacked.

CHRIS PAGE: Thad Duke does.

Chris lightly shakes his head from right to left before he continues.

CHRIS PAGE: For a guy that wants to put up a front that he’s SOOOOOO smart has proven to be incredibly stupid. When has anyone had to buy out a contract in CCPE? The answer is never. If Ricky Rodriguiz asked out what happened? When Justin York asked to be let out of his contract, what happened? I let them out because I’m not here for the money, I don’t hold people against their will, and I haven’t ever nor will never. But again since Thad is SOOOOOOOOO smart you’d think he’d understand the contract that he signed had NO monetary value for me.

Chris stands in front of the pile of Duke money.

CHRIS PAGE: He even defended himself on Twitter citing he wasn’t a traitor and for so long would preach about CCPE not being a faction only to change his tune when he didn’t get his way. Let’s talk about the REAL reasons Mr. Duke wanted out… Because he was being overshadowed by EVERYONE else in my company… INCLUDING his wife! How many Championships did you bring us, Thad? How many titles did you win on your own and without me? The survey says, ZERO. So you’ll have to forgive me when the only thing I lost in this entire situation was Sahara because she brought gold, held gold, and didn’t duck from challenges because she’s an egomaniac. That’s all you.

Chris reaches down on the table behind the stack of money and pulls up a small bottle of lighter fluid.

CHRIS PAGE: Your money means about as much to me as you do.

Chris opens the bottle of lighter fluid and starts dousing Thad’s money.

CHRIS PAGE: And this gesture from you tells me you know NOTHING about me.

Chris tosses the bottle of lighter fluid into a waste basket nearby.

CHRIS PAGE: I don’t pride myself on how much money I have, how many titles I have on my resume, or how many legends I’ve beaten… Yourself included… I pride myself on continuing to dominate an industry that loves to hate me but can’t stop me. My legacy isn’t going anywhere as a singles competitor because it’s firmly etched in stone. I pride myself on CCPE, I pride myself on those signed to CCPE that share the same common goal of being the best. Thad Duke, you haven’t fit that bill since you walked away from the XWF the last time.

Chris glances down at grabs something. He raises it and it’s a small book of matches from the Velvet Rabbit.

CHRIS PAGE: Don’t you wish you were slinging cocktails?

Chris strikes a single match. He watches the small flame and then directs his eyes back toward the camera.

CHRIS PAGE: Because that seems to be the only thing you’re decent at.

Chris drops the match on top of Thad’s money and watches it light up like a Christmas Tree. Chris starts laughing under his breath before stepping away from the burning money.

CHRIS PAGE: The next time you THINK you’re smarter than me understand that you telegraph more than anyone in the industry, and for fucks sake don’t try and buy your way out of something when you COULD have asked out versus trying to pull some coupe that failed with flying colors. Dumbass.

Chris, his hands now in the pocket of his black dress slacks steps out from Thad’s burning funds and walks in front of the desk where he leans back on the desktop. He reaches back snagging the XWF Television Championship before dropping it on the floor.

CHRIS PAGE: Shit, butterfingers.

He starts to bend down to pick it up before stopping and going back to his leisured position.

CHRIS PAGE: It’s fine, it’s not like it has any real weight behind it. Listen, guys, I truly hope that you feel like you’ve accomplished something because beating CCPE isn’t in the equation. You might get one or two here or there but ultimately just like the World fucked around and found out so will all of you… CCPE will always be the last ones standing.

Chris winks at the camera.


Chris firmly states.

CHRIS PAGE: I’ll see you in two weeks.

Chris blows a kiss toward the lens as we fade out.

The feed goes back to the arena and Pip tries not to crack up.

HHL: ... Dick!

HHL: Alright XWF Universe it's time to kick off our 32 person March Madness Tournament and our first match features Vagabond taking on Astra. As a reminder here is what the bracket looks like.

"Rasputin" by Boney M. (Remixed by Majestic) plays

The lights in the arena turn down low. As ‘Rasputin’ begins to boom, Astra walks through the entrance and ignores the fans as she walks down the entrance ramp. Neon lights hit the audience and the ring in bright pinks, greens, yellows, and purples. The lights reflect off her chrome Xpert leather jacket.

She walks right to the ring apron and in a single bound, leaps up onto the apron. She unzips her leather jacket and lets it fall to the ground behind her before stepping into the ring.

She walks to the middle of the ring and extends her arms and her middle fingers before pulling them together to make a cross in front of her face. The music dies down as the lighting returns to normal as she makes her way to her corner to warm up for the upcoming bout.

"Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go)" by Dierks Bentley

As the rhythm of "Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go)" can be heard, Vagabond saunters out on stage with "Mean" Jolene at his side.  Vagabond wraps his arm around her shoulders which she casually shrugs off, feigning disinterest in the whole shebang.  Nonetheless, Jolene follows Vagabond.  As the latter poses on the turnbuckle, Jolene stands in the ring and claps halfheartedly.  Once he's done singing along with his fans in attendance, Vagabond slips off the turnbuckle and swoops in for a kiss from his blushing (or angry) bride, who simply offers a reddened cheek.  That all taken care of, Jolene exits the ring to find a corner in which to sulk while she examines her fingernails, and Vagabond leans against a turnbuckle, awaiting what's to come next.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

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HHL: This, our opening matchup, has the potential to be a show stealer!

PIP: That’s right, two newcomers and the first match of the March Madness tournament!

Vagabond and Astra are already in the ring and they’re facing off as the referee calls for the bell. Off the ring of the bell, the two wrestlers circle the ring.

HHL: The size difference here is incredible.

PIP: Vagabond has a half foot and almost seventy pounds on Astra.

Vagabond steps up looking to tie up, but Asta’s having none of it, she dodges and drives a kick into his midsection and follows up with an axe kick into his back as he doubles over. She goes for a front chin lock, but he quickly stands up and pushes her off of him, sending her sailing down to the mat. He runs up, going for a double foot stomp, but she gets out of the way in a split second and pops back to her feet. She backs off as he closes the distance.

HHL: If he had landed that stomp, this match would have been over right there!

PIP: Astra has her work cut out for her if she’s expecting to come out of this one alive!

Vagabond tries to pounce on Astra, but she steps out of the way and pushes him chest first into the corner. She takes a few steps back and rushes in with a rising knee to his back and then riddles him in the back with lefts and rights. He turns around and pushes her back before coming out of the corner with a clothesline that blindsides her. She does a one-eighty in the air and hits the mat hard. Vagabond falls on her with the pin attempt.




The ref breaks up the pin and Vagabond rises to his feet with Astra by the hair. He pulls her in for what looks like a piledriver attempt. He pulls her up and right before he plants her, she bends a knee and kicks back, essentially stomping him in the face. As he falls, she sits up out of the pilediver and lands on his legs. She rises up and locks him into a triangle choke. He struggles, but is able to get his knees underneath him and with little effort, he’s able to pull her off of the ground and slam her back down, taking all of the wind out of her.

HHL: Vagabond’s hitting power move after power move here. It’s a great strategy!

PIP: For him, not so much for his opponent.

Vagabond goes for the pin again.




Astra rolls out of the ring and falls to her knees. She collects herself ringside while Vagabond stands up and shakes his head in the ring. The fans cheer him on while many boo Astra for leaving the ring. She stands up and pushes her hair out of her face and glares at Vagabond. The ref begins the count.

HHL: Vagabond is in clear control here!

PIP: Wise move on Astra’s part to create separation.

Vagabond walks to the ring ropes and sits on the middle ring rope, creating an opening for Astra to enter through. He waves her in. She pops up onto the ring apron dramatically and drives a foot into the center rope causing Vagabond to fall. Before he can get up, she whips herself over the top rope with a Tope Atomico. She immediately goes for the pin!



Vagabond kicks out with authority and the two are back to their feet and they’re in the center of the ring and she’s looking up to the much bigger man. Vagabond is saying something to her, but it’s inaudible and Astra slips in an eye poke while the referee isn’t looking. Blinded, Vagabond favors his head, leaving an opening for her to bound to the opposite ropes and come back and topple Vagabond with a Shining Wizard.

HHL: Big Shining Wizard there takes the much larger opponent off of his feet!

Vagabond tries to get back up, but Astra pushes two hands into the back of his head, keeping him prone before driving a vicious soccer kick into the side of his head. Once his arms and legs go out from under him, she drives a knee into the back of his head. She struggles to roll him over, but once she does, she goes for the three count!




HHL: I can’t lie, I’m surprised he kicked out of that soccer kick. I’m still surprised that such a move is even legal.

PIP: Completely defenseless opponent there getting kicked in the head. I think I saw some brain cells spill out of his ear.

Astra’s in full mount now and she’s driving hammer fists down into Vagabond’s face. He’s a mess of hair and sweat and every time he gets his hands up, she pushes them away and lands another vicious punch. It looks like Vagabond’s done for right before he explodes and rolls over and pins her to the mat!




HHL: That’s about as close as it gets right there!

PIP: Good thinking there by Vagabond.

Now it’s both athletes scrambling to get back to their feet. Vagabond is the first one up and he leaps forward and destroys Astra with a Super kick! She hits the mat hard and Vagabond follows her down and lifts her back up, looking for the Killswitch follow up! It proves to be a little too awkward to put onto such a smaller wrestler, so he modifies it and plants her with a DDT.

HHL: That’s not quite what he wanted there, he was looking for his 2 for 1 Special combination finisher, but it’s still devastating nonetheless!

PIP: He goes for the pin!




She slides her leg out of the ring, beneath the rope, forcing the referee to break up the pin attempt. Vagabond comes back up and now he looks pretty serious. He drags Astra out of the corner and rolls her over onto her stomach. He steps in and sets her up for a surfboard submission. He locks in her legs and then grabs her wrists and falls back before finally lifting her into the air. She’s trapped in the painful hold for a moment before he releases her wrists and locks his hands beneath her chin. He wrenches her back and she’s got nowhere to go!

HHL: That does not look good for Astra. She’s in big trouble here!

PIP: She might have to tap out or pass out here!

Astra’s able to get a leg free and once she’s done that, she falls onto Vagabond like a house of cards. She rolls off of him and onto her side to catch her breath. Vagabond sits up looking either shocked or surprised that she’s come this far. He stands up and walks up behind her and goes to pull her up, but she rolls her hips and hits him with a wicked upkick that leaves him seeing stars. Vagabond staggers back to the ropes and she digs down deep and pops to her feet and lands the “Eclipse” 540° gyro crescent kick right on his jaw, sending him crashing to the mat. Astra falls with, unable to make a pin attempt!

HHL: Astra lands a vicious kick after narrowly surviving that submission attempt!

PIP: Yes! And now both competitors are down!

Astra begins pulling herself up via the ring ropes as Vagabond remains on his back, looking quite out of it. He slowly begins to stir as Astra gets her knees underneath her. She sees an opening and charges Vagabond, looking for another soccer kick, but this time he traps her leg and she’s sent falling forward with an immobilized leg and it looks like she hyperextended her knee. She yelps in pain and Vagabond doesn’t release the leg, he follows her through and slaps her into a leg grapevine, applying more pressure to the damaged knee.

HHL: That knee bent at a very unnatural angle there!

PIP: She could have torn every ligament she has in that knee!

Astra screams out in pain as Vagabond leans back into the hold, putting more torque on the already damaged knee. She finally pulls herself far enough to get a hand on the ropes, but once Vagabond releases her, she slumps to the mat. Vagabond rises quickly back to his feet and jumps, driving an elbow into the small of her back, he rises again and brings another elbow down. He comes back up and signals to the crowd that he’s going to finish it - the crowd cheers him on as he pulls Astra to her feet.

HHL: She can barely stand on that knee!

PIP: Vagabond’s looking to put her away now!

Vagabond slings Astra to the corner, but she’s not able to make it all of the way, she falls face first just short of the corner turnbuckles, so Vagabond’s forced to take the time to flip her over and pull her into the corner, propping her neck and shoulders up on the very bottom turnbuckle pad. He then signals to the crowd and they cheer. He runs to the opposite corner.

HHL: He’s going for his patented ‘Ridin’ Shotgun’ corner bronco buster attack!

Vagabond charges Astra in the corner, but just as he’s about to connect, she slips out of the way. Vagabond crashes mercilessly into the corner. Astra pulls herself up with the help of the ropes and needs their help to move to the far corner.

HHL: Can she even walk under her own power at this point?

PIP: She doesn’t seem to want to put any weight on that knee.

The ref checks on her and they seem to be getting into an argument as Vagabond gets back to his feet and charges her. She sees him coming and pushes the referee into his path. The referee almost falls, but Vagabond catches him. While Vagabond and the referee are both distracted, Astra falls to her knees, painfully, and hits Vagabond with a thunderous low blow that doubles him over.

HHL: Ohhhh right in the clusters there!

PIP: And the ref didn’t see a thing!

She gets back to her feet and hops on one leg as Vagabond turns around, from there, she leaps up and grabs the back of his head and brings him back down to the mat with a vicious double knee facebuster!

HHL: She’s landed it - the Supernova facebuster!

PIP: This could be it!

Astra’s screaming in pain as she used the knee to damage Vagabond, but he’s out. She rolls him over and falls on top of him! The referee hits the mat with the count!




HHL: And that’s it! Astra gets the win!


HHL: A great opening match here from two XWF newcomers. If that match doesn't get you excited for the rest of tonight's tournament matches I don't know what will. We'll have XWF Legend Barney Green vs another newcomer Dionysus on the other side of this commercial break.

"Realize" by AC/DC plays

"Realize" By AC/DC starts to play as the fans start booing. Out walks Barney Green, dressed in his garbage man uniform. He slowly walks out and starts arguing back with the fans. He reveals his trash can and dumps a bunch of trash out of it onto the fans. He slowly enters the ring as fans start throwing garbage back at him. He waits in the corner as the music fades.

"Leaving Dionysus" by XWFO$ plays

The lights dim as multiple spotlights rotate throughout the arena. As "Leaving Dionysus" begins to play, the spotlights all point to the stage, illuminating a velvet red curtain. At the moment the guitars begin to play, the curtain is drawn open, revealing the imposing figure of Dionysus, holding a Thyrsus in his right hand and a shield on his left arm. He clashes the staff against his shield to rouse the crowd to clap with him, then roars, raising the Thyrsus above his head.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -


HHL: And we’re off! Great to see Barney Green back here on Warfare once again, and he’s taking on an exciting new talent in Dionysus! Old versus new really clashing and colliding here to figure out who’s advancing in March Madness!

Pip: Gonna be an ugly match, I’ll tell you that much…

Dionysus and Barney circle around the ring, seemingly measuring each other up. Dionysus cranks his neck out while Barney adjusts his eyepatch, and the Mean Green Machine wastes no time telling Dion to come bring it!

Dion smiles, taking to the challenge with pride and a smile on his face, walking up to Barney, and- CHOP! A hard knife-edge chop to Barney has him bearing the damage on his chest with a grimace! The fans audibly wince at how hard that chop was, but Barney isn’t faltering! He’s only getting fired up and asking for more! Dion nods approvingly, revving up again, and- CHOP!

Barney still isn’t backing down from the pressure though! He’s nodding and getting himself psyched up!

HHL: Bit of an interesting start here, but it looks like Barney Green has come to play!

Pip: You think Dionysus is going to regret playing along with Green’s little games?

HHL: Why would he?! Dionysus looks like he’s enjoying himself here!

Dion gets set for one more chop, sizing up his target! He goes for one last chop-

CAUGHT BY GREEN! Dion’s eyes shoot up in surprise as Barney hits a BIG body blow to the gut and doubles over the newcomer! Dion can’t quite get upright in time as Barney grabs him by the hair - headbutt has the bigger man backing up and on the ropes!

The fans look to be giving a mixed reaction for Barney in the early going here, trying to bring him to a seemingly unlikely victory here! Barney feels his heart starting to pick up in pace, knowing he’s at least got a solid chance here. Dion steps back into the center of the ring as Barney rushes in, looking for a clothesline!

BUT NOW IT’S DION’S TURN TO STAY STANDING AFTER THE HARSH BLOW! He’s not backing down, just like Barney isn’t backing down, and the fans are loving every minute of this! Barney looks a bit surprised now as Dion looks to rush off the ropes, looking for a clothesline of his own!

Barney backs up wildly from the lariat attempt by Dion, now against the ropes himself! There’s a bit of a stalemate in the early going right now as neither man can really manage to make the other fall over here, but the glint in their eyes is one of an amused, yet mutual respect.

HHL: Barney’s… thick frame is certainly helping him to absorb Dionysus’ shots. Dionysus might be the bigger, stronger man, but almost anyone on the roster is going to have a job and a half in taking Green down. That’s not a slight on Dion at all here-

Pip: It’s okay, Heather. You can just say Barney’s fat. I’m sure he won’t mind.


BOTH MEN HIT THE FLOOR AT THE SAME TIME! DION MANAGES TO USE HIS SUPERIOR CONDITIONING TO BRING HIMSELF UP FIRST, THOUGH! He’s eyeing up Barney as he brings himself over to his downed opponent! He’s eyeing him up, looking for a fist drooooop-!

Barney rolls out of the way! Dion’s hand smashes right into the hard canvas, and he winces with having to shake out his hand! That’s the opening Barney needs though as he uses the ropes to pull himself up onto his feet! He sees Dion nursing his hand as he runs the ropes - RUNNING CROSSBODY FROM THE MEAN GREEN MACHINE! COVER BY BARNEY!




Pip: That was a bit closer than I would have thought, from someone like Barney…

HHL: Dion’s still hanging in there, but Barney Green is really showing his prowess out there in the ring right now! He’s still got it!

Barney quickly unloads with some stiff shots to the downed Dion, and tries for a solid hammerfist right to his nose! DION CATCHES THE HAMMERFIST THOUGH! ARM TRAP AS BARNEY TRIES TO ESCAPE, BUT IT’S ALL IN VAIN! DIONYSUS PULLS BARNEY DOWN TO THE MAT ALONGSIDE HIM, AND





HHL: We just gave Barney Green his props, but we have to give Dionysus his due respect as well! Made the most out of a bad situation and completely reversed momentum there right back into his favor!

Pip: He can’t afford to get comfy in there though, Heather. Much like when he steps into a buffet place, Barney Green is hungry tonight.

HHL: Are you just going to make fat jokes?

Barney is writhing around on the mat, trying to handle himself inside Dionysus’ fierce submission hold! He tries to peel off his grip with his free hand, but Dion isn’t budging as he simply arches the hold back further! Green howls in pain and anticipation, knowing he’s going to need to try to handle this!

His arm extends, trying to pull himself over towards the ropes! Dionysus isn’t budging though, instead bringing down a forearm in a clubbing blow to the skull! As savage as it is effective, it cuts off Barney trying to pull himself over. Too far from the ropes, but tapping out isn’t an option here! Barney places his palm onto the mat, and…

Pip: Oh my God. No way.

HHL: Is he trying to push himself up onto his feet with Dionysus’ body weight on top of him?!

Pip: Worse yet, he’s actually SUCCEEDING at it!

Dion’s eyes flash in dread as Barney is using every ounce of his strength to the max to bring himself up! He’s clearly straining himself in doing so, but the will to win will not fade! Barney Green wants nothing more than to advance in March Madness, and he will stop at nothing to do so! The fans will Green on with their desire to see more of this match as he gets right back up onto his feet! Both men on their feet as Green’s free hand goes forward!

Body blow! Body blow! Body blow! Dion is buckling as Barney looks to free himself-



HHL: WINE MIXER FROM DIONYSUS! Thing of beauty that is - how many guys that are 6’5 and above can go across the ring full-speed like that and backflip off the ropes?! It’s not many, I can tell you!

Pip: He’s an athletic force, that’s for sure. If I’m Sarah Lacklan or Angie Vaughn, I’m paying very close attention to Chardonnay’s matches here. But can Dion get the win here tonight?

Dion, sucking in air through his teeth, hooks Barney’s leg and tries to end this.




Barney barely survives as Dionysus nods approvingly at Barney once more! Dion pulls Barney up by the hair before running the ropes again, looking to try for another Wine Mixer! Dion runs at full speed, Barney in his sights-


HHL: Wait, WHAT?!

Pip: He’s trying to steal it!




HHL: I think Dionysus might have just seen this match flash before his eyes for a split second there!

Pip: Barney’s not done here yet, though! He’s trying to set up for the end!

Barney pushes himself onto his feet with a roar as he has the groggy Dionysus in his arms! He whips him around - DREAMAKER!


Now it’s BARNEY’S turn to duck! He twists around after avoiding the lariat, kicking Dionysus in the gut! He sets in his arms around Dion’s neck, looking to drop down into the Ace Crusher known as the Black and White Lightning Attack and end this! Barney goes to drop-!

BUT A HARD SHOT TO THE RIBCAGE FROM DIONYSUS HALTS BARNEY IN HIS TRACKS! It’s just enough for Dion to get wrist control back as he uses it to pull Barney around in a ripcord motion one last time-


HHL: DEIFIED! That hammer shot just took Barney’s head clean off after he spent this entire match absorbing Dionysus’ punishment!

Pip: That elbow is lethal… I don’t wanna see anyone’s face after having to take that right to the dome!

Dionysus with the cover now!





HHL: Hard-fought victory here by Dionysus! Barney Green gave it all he had, but it just wasn’t enough to stop the rising star on this night. Still, nothing to be ashamed of!

Pip: I’m sure he’ll just try eating his problems away so he can come back stronger…

"Immortal Imperium" by XWFO$ plays

People begin to bang on drums as they play his entrance music. It seems as if Oswald has literally paid for an entire orchestra, just to play him to the ring. After the first round of singing ends and the drums start off once more, Oz starts to walk to the ring, dressed in a large white cloak covering his body. However, instead of entering the ring first, he waits. He stands there near the ring floor next to the edge of the ramp. He slowly pulls off the cloak, folds it and then places it on the edge of the ring, next to one of the posts before climbing onto the apron and over the top rope where he goes to his corner, sitting down as he waits for the bell.

"Suffocate" by Cold plays

“Suffocate” by Cold begins to play as the lights dim all through the arena. Fog rolls through the entranceway as a bright light shines from behind it. A shadowy figure is projected through the fog, the sexy figure grinding to the beat of the music. Sidney Grey emerges and surveys the crowd as they boo her loudly. She smirks as she flips off the crowd and moves in time to the beat, going into yet another seductive grind, which ends in a tremendous eruption of pyrotechnics as she runs her hands all along her body, tosses her hair back, and heads to the ring with a laugh. Sid walks slowly down to the ring as she arrogantly taunts the crowd, blowing kisses to some and threatening to slap others all the while with a condescending smile on her face. Sid slides underneath the bottom rope and goes to the far corner of the ring as she stands on the turnbuckle and continues to taunt the crowd, while smiling sadistically as she waits for the match to begin. Sid will typically take the microphone from the ring announcer in order to berate her opponent as well as the town and the fans.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

The bell rings and Grey immediately begins mouthing off at Oz, demanding that he lie down or leave the ring. Oz calmly paces towards Grey, who backs herself into the corner as she tries to keep distance between the two. Grey's facial expression turns to unease as her back hits the turnbuckle pads with nowhere left to go.

But Oz stops, keeping the same distance between the two.

He reaches out an open hand, offering it to Grey.

"Believe in me…" he starts. Grey doesn't give him a chance to finish, launching into a near-indecipherable berating of the big man. She punctuates her tirade with a slap that echoes around the arena, drawing an audible "OOOOOH" from the crowd.

PIP: That's one way to start a match!

HHL: Possibly not a wise one though…

Oz raises a hand to his reddened cheek. Grey steps forward again, hand wound back to deliver another stinging rebuke. But Oz catches it! Grey panics but can do nothing to fight the tide as Oz powers her into the air and biel tosses her almost the full way across the ring.

HHL: Oz might have set a new hammer throw record with that toss!

Oz follows, calmly confident. As Grey scrambles to her feet Oz clutches her under his arm and throws her back over with a suplex. He gets to his feet, and Grey tries to do the same. Again Oz grabs her and again he throws her over with a suplex. Once more Oz gets to his feet, and Grey - a little slower this time - follows after. Oz hoists her into the air, holding her upside down in a delayed vertical as the crowd counts along. Reaching "ten", Oz drops backwards, slamming Grey to the mat once more.

He sits up, and looks over to Grey who begins rolling towards the ropes, dropping to the ground outside.

HHL: Smart move by Sid. She was really taking a pounding here in the early going.

PIP: That's… no, you know what? That joke's too easy.

Sid crawls around outside the ring, looking for something to prop herself up with. The ref begins a count, but Oz quickly breaks it as he rolls out of the ring himself and pursues Grey. He finds her using the steel steps to push herself up, but just as he closes in on her, Grey spins and thumbs Oz in the eye. He staggers back to give himself space to recover. When he turns his attention back to Grey, she's ready for him and trips him with a drop toe hold. Oz's face bounces off the steel steps!

The ref's count has resumed.





Grey, aware of the count, slides back into the ring. She starts screaming at the ref to count faster.



Oz rolls in before it get close to a 10-count.

Grey pounces on him. First, she starts raining stomps down on his thick torso, before dropping to her knees and beginning to hammer away with closed fists.

The ref pulls Grey back, admonishing her for the closed fists and also pointing to Oz's foot - still dangling under the ropes.

"Well maybe you should have counted faster then!" Grey shouts back. Oz, meanwhile, is up on all fours and now fully in the ring.

Grey pushes past the ref and catches Oz in the side of the head with a knee. Instead of going down, Oz falls towards the ropes and uses them to push himself to his feet. He swings out at the incoming Grey, knocking her down. She bounces up again quickly and closes in again. Oz grabs her and throws her towards the corner. He's on her straight away, driving his shoulder into Grey's abdomen multiple times. Grey staggers out and Oz presses her above his head.

HHL: Sidney Grey is half-way to heaven right now!

PIP: I'll take 'Statements nobody has ever uttered before' for 400, Alex.

High above Oz's head, Grey struggles. Eventually, her wriggling allows her to drop down behind Oz. She immediately launches at his legs and clips him down to size.

Grey is relentless as she stomps away at Oz's legs and ankle. She bounds out of the ring between the bottom and middle ropes, and takes Oz's leg with her, bringing it to near the turnbuckle post. When there, she swings with the leg and whacks it against the steel. The referee admonishes her from inside the ring, but Grey doesn't even engage this time, instead opting to take a swing of Oz's leg once more. A third does the trick, and Grey rolls back into the ring to stop the count that the ref has begun once more.

But then she rolls back out!

HHL: She's not done!

PIP: Smart. Take Oz's wheels out from under him, and you remove the base for his power and his speed.

With Oz's legs still in sight, Grey wraps both around the turnbuckle, and hangs herself off of them with a figure four. She wrenches back, trying to inflict as much damage as she can while the ref begins yet another countout. At about 7 or 8 Grey drops, giving her just enough time to nip back under the ropes before the count hits 10.

With Oz down, Sid measure him up. From halfway across the ring, she strides forward and comes down on Oz with the Sid-Knee Drop. The impact causes Oz to try and roll himself away from his vulnerable position near the corner, and Sid takes the opportunity to try and step over into a toehold, looking to transition towards the Sid-Knee Lock.

Oz starts kicking! With Grey halfway through spinning, he connects with a boot that causes her to fly across the ring. She pounces back towards him, but Oz catches her with a Double A Spinebuster. With his leg not fully under him, he falls to the side and doesn't quite hit it with maximum power. Still he crawls over to cover her.



KICKOUT just after 2.

HHL: You've got to wonder how close that would have been if his legs had been at 100%.

Oz pulls Grey to her feet and whips her into the ropes. On the return he hits a powerslam and covers again.




Knowing he was closer that time, he sends Grey into the corner. He runs in with another shoulder attempt, but Grey flings her legs up and over Oz. She flips over into a sunset flip pin.




As Oz gets to his feet Grey lines him up. Mafia kick into the corner! A quick jawbreaker follows and Oz drops to his knees. Grey's eyes widen with opportunity. Cradle Robber!


Oz grabs the ropes and Grey's DDT attempt fails as she hits the mat.

They both clamber up. Oz is up first. Grey comes after him. Oz pops her into the air! The DELETION!? The finishing DDT of his own! No! Grey swings through into a small package!



Oz barely KICKS OUT in time!

HHL: What a contrast - both looking for their respective DDTs. One goes low and one goes high.

PIP: And both failed!

Grey pulls out a swinging neckbreaker and looks at Oz in position. Knowing the stakes of the tournament, she opts to climb the ropes.

HHL: Sid-Knee Drop from up high?

PIP: Sidney is looking to do anything to be Queen of the XWF.

Oz desperately makes a move towards the ropes. Grey loses her footing and Oz takes advantage. He hoists her higher up the turnbuckle to the top rope - using the ropes for leverage to make up for his bung leg. Once Grey is there, he follows after and readjusts her position.

Hand of God!


Oz tries for the initial avalanche German but his leg can't hold the weight!

Both competitors crumble into an awkward mess. Grey sees Oz struggling! Quickly she jumps into action. Cradle Robber! This time she gets all of it!





PIP: She did it! Sidney Grey advances in the March Madness tournament!

HHL: And none of us will ever hear the end of it.

PIP: The World According to Sid is going to be even more must-see this week!

"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC plays

The lights go out. Then Thunderstruck by ACDC starts playing. And only white lighting starts flickering on the stage as the song starts. Just as the lyrics get to 'Thunderstruck', there is a glow on the stage, and Kris The Hammer Von Bonn is lit up by the glow and he is holding his Hammer. The lights come back on fully, and he walks all the way to the ring, followed by his Manager Antony The Jerk.

"Sex" by The Grave Smashers plays


[Image: 200w.gif?cid=82a1493bsto855k9tk0ve81r3e5...w.gif&ct=g]

Green and purple lasers!


That Uncomfortable "Sex" theme.


[Image: onkgw3.gif]

Gravy rave dances onto the stage as her woman meat flops wildly!

With a confident swagger brought to you by BarnCoin, Micheal heads down the ramp, flipping off fans, grabbing her man junk while alltogether being a terrible person. Gravy rolls into the ring and postures for the crowd showing them just how fucking cool she is now!

Gravy leans into her corner, chewing gum and blowing excessive bubbles with a sinister grin. She just can't wait for this bloodbath to begin!

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

The bell rings, and Kris goes running straight at Graves, and tries to hit him with a running lariat, but Graves ducks.  Kris stops turns back to Graves who hits him in the head with his elbow.  Kris stumbles backwards.  Graves follows up with a couple of punches to keep Kris going backwards, and trying to keep him on the defensive.  He grabs him and sends him into the ropes and he runs across the ring.

Graves follows him and as Kris connects to the other ropes and comes away, Graves stands his ground, and tries to shoulder block him, but Kris just side steps him, stops, and throws a knee into Graves's back.  Grave stumbles forward grabbing his back.

PIP: "That's gotta hurt,"

It's now Kris on the offensive, and this time time, Kris grabs him, spins him around, and foot stomps him.  Graves yells out in pain.  Kris then knees him in his stomach, which makes Graves bend over, and Kris grabs him and attempts a DDT.  But he cannot execute it, as Graves manages to break the hold, and uses Kris's arm to bend around behind his back.

HEATHER: "Graves gets out of trouble so easily."

Kris tries to hit Graves with his own elbow, but fails.  Graves places Kris in a headlock.  He runs across the ring, and manages to make the move into a running bulldog which connects.  He goes for the pin.



Kick out.

PIP: "That was close,"

HEATHER: "That was very close,"

Graves quickly stands up, and moves to the back of the ring, and turns his back on Kris.

Kris slowly sits up, looks at what Graves is doing, and is bewildered.

He slowly gets to his feet, makes his way slowly to Graves, and just gets to him when Graves turns around and spits Green Mist into Kris's face.

PIP: "That's gotta sting,"

HEATHER: "That's not good,"

Kris stumbles backwards trying to clear his eyes.  Graves runs at Kris and hits him with a SPEAR.  Knocking the wind out of him.  And he covers him quickly.




HEATHER: "Just like that it's over,"


"Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit plays

Ring Master keeps ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN down to the ring.

"Unsainted" by Slipknot plays

Announcer: About to enter the arena, standing in at 6’4 and weighing in at 239 pounds!!!

The words fade as we hear the Church bells cling before the guitar riff starts playing along with the choir singing. The music builds up to where finally Corey Taylor can be heard. The name Goth emerges upon the titan tron, but the man only walks out after Corey Taylor can be heard screaming the words: “I’m finally holding on to letting go!!” As explosions go off on the side of the entrance stage. Goth stares at the crowd as his fiancé Melissa emerges behind him.

Announcer: Currently residing from Manhattan, New York!!! He is the King of Kings!! Goth!!!!

Goth lifts his head upwards to the ceiling while extending his arms, a smirk emerges upon his face as he listens to the mixed reactions. After a few seconds, he looks back ahead of him towards the ring walking slowly, totally ignoring the fans who are trying to touch him as he walks to the steel ringsteps. He gets on the ring apron before opening up the top and middle ring rope for his fiancé Melissa as she steps through them. He then steps in the ring and stares down his opponent/awaits his opponent as his music slowly fades.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

The bell rings, and the match begins, with Goth lunging at Ring Master with a series of quick jabs, catching Ring Master off guard, and he stumbles backwards.  Suddenly he breaks away and starts doing flips around the ring, avoiding Goth at all costs and managing to put distance between each other.

PIP:  "What the heck is Ring Master doing?  Goth had the upper hand for a quick start, and now Ring Master is just dancing, sorry I mean flipping around the ring like he's play acting."

Frustrated Goth watches him, until Ring Master lunges at him with his own series of quick blows catching Goth off guard.

HEATHER: "There's your answer, he was wanting Goth to drop his defenses

Then for the next several minutes the match continues going back and forwards like a boxing match and neither Goth nor Ring Master seem to be getting significant advantage.

Suddenly, Ring Master runs backwards and rebounds off of the ropes and comes back and launches himself and executes a perfect Running Jumping Splash, which takes down both men, and Ring Master goes for the cover.



Kick out.

PIP: What a move that was,"

Ring Master looks stunned, he thought he had Goth, but Goth had other plans.

Ring Master stands up, and pulls Goth to his feet, suddenly Goth pulls away, grabs Ring Master by the hair, and sends him crashing into the ropes, he comes back and Goth Clotheslines him.  Down goes Ring Master.  This time it is Goth who pulls Ring Master back to his feet, Ring Master stomps on Goth's feet, and Goth lets go of Ring Master.

They start throwing punches again.

HEATHER: "All hell has broken loose it seems,"

Suddenly Goth hits Ring Master with his CHAOS ADDT (kick in the midsection followed by a DDT.)  Goth goes for the cover.



Kick out.

It's Ring Master who kicks out this time.  Goth gets to his feet, and Ring Master rolls away.

PIP: "Nice move from Goth, but it's not going to happen that fast,"

Ring Master gets to his feet, and runs at Goth and hits him with RING TRAIN a.k.a Running Body Block.  But this does nothing.  Goth just stands his ground.  The two look at one another before Goth knees Ring Master in his stomach, Ring Master bends over and Goth places Ring Master in his GOTHIC CHOKE a.k.a Bulldog Choke Hold. 

Ring Master flails his arms around, but Goth avoids them.  Ring Master seems to be fading.  Suddenly Goth executes the GOTH DROP.  A.K.A Twist of Fate.

HEATHER: "Surely that should do it,"

It does, as Goth covers Ring Master.




PIP: "It's all over red rover!"


"Burn" by Stabbing Westward plays

The lights go out. The sounds of music and a snorting bull fill the arena as smoke rises from the stage. The lights return to the arena and Buster Gloves rises from the floor of the stage as the words "BUSTER GLOVES" play on the tron. "Burn", as played by Stabbing Westward, plays as blue and white lasers bounce around the arena

Stoic and unshaven, Buster scans the audience, conveying more with a look than a thousand words. The Bull of the North. He checks his chin, by giving it two short punches with a black padded glove on his left hand. The letters W.I.F.E. (Wrestling is Forever) printed on the backside of it.

Buster descends the ramp high fiving kids, pointing to the cheap seats up top, and bouncing his head to the music. He crawls up the ring steps like a silverback gorilla, wipes his shoes on the apron and ducks in under the top rope into the ring. Then side hops a circle around the ring before coming back to center. He removes his mask and checks his chin one more time as he poses for the hard cam.

"You Know My Name" by Chris Cornell plays

The arena flashes white as spotlights from around the venue converge at the entrance room as "You Know My Name" begins playing bombastically. As the lyrics start, Ned Kaye stands at the point where the spotlights merge to thunderous applause. He lifts his fist up in the air, awaiting the crowd to do the same before rushing down to the ring, serenaded by blue hues that light up the ramp following his steps. The lights above the stadium darken in their blue color as Ned gets closer to the ring, little bits of ember adorning the X-Tron and ramp, orange breaking up the blue. He leaps over the ropes into the ring before looking down, breathing the moment in, and pointing out at the crowd, ready to fight just with their energy alone. Jumping a bit from the adrenaline, he makes his way to his corner as he prepares for the bell.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

Both competitors are in their corners, Buster shoots a smile and wave at a very stoic Ned Kaye.

PIP: Ned taking a page out of Mastermind's book and is being "serious at all times."

HHL: Both men seem to be approaching round one in two very different manners. Kaye did say he was going to sign the canvas in his teammate's blood!

PIP: I think that was metaphorical, Heather.

HHL: ... I knew that...


As the bell sounds both men walk to the center of the ring and touch gloves as a sign of respect which gets polite applause from the crowd. The two lock up into a collar and elbow tie-up with Buster taking the advantage getting Kaye into a headlock as Kaye struggles to gain ground; Gloves tries to lower Kaye to the mat but Ned manages to keep the pair up and begins to push Buster into the corner, the tie-up switches into Kaye's favor as he gets Buster into a cross-arm key lock and gets his back against the turnbuckles. Gloves gets his hands high with Ned holding the wrist and Buster slowly begins to lower and separate his arms, Ned backing off releasing the hold and giving Buster space.

PIP: Lot of respect here, gotta say. Can't wait to see one of them to get pissed off and ruin it.

Buster circles Ned as he moves out of the corner and he shakes his wrist loose. Buster smirks, busting Ned's balls who smiles back giving back some shit of his own. The two rush towards each other going into another collar lock up but Ned immediately pushes Gloves into the ropes and misses a bicycle kick as Gloves ducks under Kaye's legs with a slide and hits the ropes again looking for a clothesline which is countered with an arm drag from Kaye who immediately follows up with a V-Trigger which is barely dodged in time by Buster who gives a glancing chop to Kaye's chest!

Ned spins around with his now stinging red sternum as Gloves twists him around but didn't expect a spinning heel kick which drops Gloves down to the mat! Gloves touches his lip checking for blood and looks up at Kaye who is holding out his hand to help Gloves back up. Buster accepts it and the two are back up, Gloves bounces on his heels and raises his fists as Kaye gets into a stance and tries to take down Buster who blocks the advantage dropping quickly to a knee and halting Kaye with a bulldog headlock before snapping Kaye back with a rough knee and as Kaye is thrown up Buster follows-up with a huge Sparta kick sending Kaye across the ring with a few rolls.

The crowd pick up as Kaye holds his chest in a seated position near the ropes and Buster strolls over to him extending his arm with a smile. Kaye looks at Buster, and wraps his hand around Gloves' forearm as Buster hoists him to his feet.

HHL: One of these guys are gonna need to take this more seriously if they want to move up the bracket.

Both men circle one another once again, a right hook from Buster is countered by Kaye with an advancing forearm and Kaye follows-up with a sitout shiranui transitioning into a pin! The ref slides in for the count!




Kickout just after 2!

Gloves pushes Ned off and gets to his feet, Kaye tries to go for a superkick but Buster moves to Kaye's back and sends Kaye back with "The Bulls Eye" (Release German) and Kaye lands in a heap across the ring; Buster rolls to his feet as Kaye kips up, clutching the nape of his neck, and the two rush each other. Buster feints a powerslam which leaves Ned flinching and leads Kaye open for a powerful European uppercut!

Buster gets Kaye in a tight pin the moment he hits the canvas!





Kickout at 2.5!

Buster takes a breather on his knees as Kaye rolls away from him and runs a hand over and around his neck, trying to soothe the pain. Buster gets up again and slowly walks to Kaye to check on him but Ned stands up on his own and moves away from Buster, his hand sailing along the top rope. Gloves goes to tap Kaye on the shoulder but Ned shoots back with a back elbow into Gloves nose and leaves Buster reeling, clutching his nose. Kaye stands there for a moment waiting for Gloves to stand up properly again and Buster glares at Kaye with a much more serious demeanour.

PIP: There it is!

Kaye shouts to Buster, egging him on, begging him to give his all. Buster stands with a sniff and thumbs his nose raising his fists  and getting into a kickboxer's stance. Kaye grins and rushes in!

The crowd roar as right is dodged by Buster who gets in a shot to the ribs followed by a left jab! Kaye stumbles back and but the Bull of the North rushes in with a boxing flurry and finishes up with a jump kick catching Kaye's chin! Ned hits the ropes as Buster lands a head shot with a nasty straight jab but an uppercut is dodged as Kaye rolls back over the top rope and slingshots forward landing a hurricanrana and goes for a pin which only gets a one count.

The two get up and Kaye nails a spinning heel across Gloves' chest! But Buster stays on his feet and with a roar lands...


The heart punch hits with precision and Kaye stumbles around like he took a bullet!

Buster Gloves takes the advantage!


The standing D'Arce choke is locked in tight!

Buster is yelling at Ned to tap who gasps in the hold, his sore neck being ruined as Kaye's face turns a bright red.

Kaye's legs begin to buckle as Gloves yells, almost pleads, for Ned to submit.

But Ned Kaye refuses!

Kaye lets loose with a few rogue knees which manage to hit Gloves legs.

Buster tries to keep the lock in tight but Ned is like a wild animal, whipping to and fro, wildly swinging where he can!

Buster barely lets loose mostly out of worry of his teammate.

And Ned Kaye capitalises!


Ned Kaye with a forearm to the chin, a knee strike and a desperate grapple lands the Burning Hammer and goes into the pin!

The ref slides in...







Ned's music hits but he doesn't stand away from Buster, placing a hand on Gloves and waits patiently for Buster to stir.

HHL: A beautiful showing from both men, and a great win from Ned Kaye!

PIP: Sneaky and underhanded win I say! Can never trust that Nefarious bastard!

HHL: Pip... Shut up, dude.

Buster begins to stand with aid from Ned and the pair shake hands, Ned taking Buster's loss harder than Buster is as he apologizes but Buster isn't having any of it and the pair embrace in a tight hug from an applause from the crowd before Buster separates and raises Ned's hand in victory and allows Ned to celebrate.

The camera scans through the crowd of his many fans holding up signs and posters of "SAGA" "Welcome to the family" and "Nedamania!"

It scans past them all until landing on a familiar face, Isaiah King in full gear with a leather jacket over him sits in the front row watching the pair intently.

HHL: What's King doing out here? Doesn't he have a match next?

PIP: Looking a lil' broody today, isn't he? Probably disapprove of Ned's cheating ways!

A punch is heard on commentary followed by a soft 'ow' from Pip as Isaiah gets up from his seat, his eyes not leaving the ring, before he disappears in the crowd. "You Know My Name" plays as Warfare slowly fades to commercial.

The lights inside NRG Stadium fall dark.  A lion roars in the darkness and at once, gold lighting showers the stadium.  Mufasa stands on stage as Highly Suspect’s “My Name Is Human” fills the airwaves to a huge pop from Houston.

HHL:  Thaddeus Duke!  He made his return to the XWF at Snow Job and he’ll be in action later on tonight!

PC:  March Madness is underway and Heather, tonight Atara Raven stands in his way!

Thaddeus Duke emerges from backstage and the crowd cheers wildly for his arrival.  Dressed in blue jeans and a white SAGA hoodie, he pauses at the edge of the stage before pointing toward the entrance way.

A moment later, the roof figuratively blows off as his lovely wife Lauren emerges with their eldest son Frankie in tow.

HHL:  Sahara ladies and gentlemen!

PC:  That is probably the loudest pop she’s ever received!

HHL:  That pop might’ve been for Frankie.  He always was a pretty popular lil fella to XWF audiences!

The Duke Family make their way toward the ring.  Thad and Frankie eagerly greet fans along the way as Sahara maintains her distance from the paying XWF customers.

In the ring, the music dies but the gold mood lighting remains.


Thad can’t help but smile as he takes in the warm reception.  Frankie, with a mic in hand, hops up on the turnbuckles.

HOUSTON, TEXASSSSSS! yells the young aspiring babyface to a loud pop from the Universe.  Frankie tosses the mic over his shoulder, Thad catches it.

HHL:  Little man is growing up!

PC:  He’s Two-Teen now!

The pop dies down as Thad starts to speak.

I wanted to take a moment to tell you just how great it is to be home again, Thad begins as the crowd pops generously.  It doesn’t really feel like home to my wife yet but she’ll learn soon enough that there is no promotion on the planet quite like the XWF.

Thad pauses as he begins to pace the ring.  On the floor, Mufasa matches his pacing.

I want this to be the first and only time I address our departure from CCPE on XWF television.  See, I knew Chris would come out here first thing.  I knew he’d take a business decision personally because that’s just the way he is and that’s the way he’s always been.  He’s got a weak mind and has to be out in front of anything and everything.  The same tired and true Modus Operandi, right Chris?

Did you think my press release before Warfare tonight was an accident?  I know how you play your cards, Chris.  I know how you play the game.  There isn’t a man or woman on this planet that knows you better than I do.

Thad stops pacing and looks directly into the camera.

Did you think I learned nothing in the last two and a half years we’ve been tied at the hip?

Easy pop from Houston as Thad and Mufasa resume their pacing.

Make no mistake, we knew what we were getting into the moment we signed on with CCP Enterprises.  In the beginning it didn’t matter to me who else signed on.  It didn’t matter to me what they did because CCPE wasn’t a stable and I wasn’t attached to anything they did.

As time went on, it became clearer and clearer that the Duke pieces no longer fit the CCPE puzzle.

To be clear, I know I’ve fed the rumor mill and stoked the debate over whether or not CCPE is a stable, but I have maintained from my perspective, it never was.  It’s a stupid debate that doesn’t really mean anything.  At the end of the day, perception is reality, whether we like it or not.

Thad pauses a moment.  The lion matches his movements.  Sahara grabs Thad’s attention.

Seems my wife has something to say.

Thad hands her the mic.

Far be it for me to dispute my loving husband, but CCPE is... Glancing at her husband, she flashes a devilish smile. Was... and forever will be a stable. I mean, not a very good one now that it's two most prominent members have left the friendly confines regardless of what you may have read in the Twitterverse or heard on a Podcast--

And now that that's been addressed, that brings me to the XWF... here in Houston--

The cheap pop brings a smile to the radiant blonde's face.

Home of the World Series Champion Houston As--

The thunderous ovation drowns her out and once again brings a smile to her face.

Hopefully this time it doesn't come out that you cheated... again!

The cheers turn sharply to boos as Sahara laughs, her husband shaking his head, he takes the mic back from his wife.

Y’all still love me and Frankie right? Thad asks jokingly.  Frankie poses a moment as the crowd roars in approval.  Sahara scoffs.  See, I’m sure this SAGA, pun intended, between Chris and I is just getting started again.  I don’t know when and I don’t know where, but y’all know one thing is certain… whenever the time comes.

The XWF cameras zoom into Thad and his serious demeanor.

Duke Nation is ready.

Thad drops the mic.  Houston pops one last time as “My Name Is Human” strikes up again.

HHL:  The Duke’s are back here in the XWF!

PC:  Like him, love him or hate him, Thaddy and his Nation are always ready!

"Weight of the World" by Battle Tapes plays

Oh yeah, he's wearing those sunglasses he makes look so good and his hair, oh my word his hair. It’s as blonde as his name and the rest of him; he’s etched and glistening, just like you’d expect out of a Greek God.

He makes his way down towards the ring as the fans hoot and holler.

Blondie slides into the ring and pops up to his feet. Check it - Life or death - he’s ready to go. The fans are excited to find out whether he’s going to win or get demolished. The sunglasses come off and that hair, that blonde hair whips in the wind as he bangs his head to that sweet-sweet Battle Tapes roaring out of the speakers..

That's right, he's built like he's etched out of stone and has just the right amount of chest hair. His smile, oh my, it's a devilish one. Those eyes? You wanna get some. Male or female; he's got you questioning some things.

The music stops and Blondie goes to his corner, ready to kill or get killed.

"Since I'm a Bastard" by This Grey City plays

Charlie Nickles hobbles down the ramp since his knees are fucked and his tailbone is basically non-existent anymore.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

Blondie is doing stretches in his corner.

HHL: The chipper, young rookie in Blondie has certainly grabbed the fans with his charisma and work with his tag team partner Dionysus. When I see him, I see a future star, he has it all! The hair, those pearly white teeth and his talent are gonna push him far!

PIP: And in the opposite corner... Charlie Nickles!

Charlie picks food out of his teeth leaning against the turnbuckle before shooting a sick smile at Blondie.

PIP: A vile human being whose brutality and iron will have pushed him through the company to being a living legend.


Blondie pulls himself up with the ropes and goes for a fist bump meeting Nickles in the middle, Charlie smiles appreciating the show of respect before delivering an open-hand slap to Blondie's jaw, Charlie takes advantage with a rough gut punch before hurling Blondie towards the ropes; Blondie rebounds and leapfrogs over Charlie before running back and knocking Nickles down with a nice dropsault!

Blondie keeps his momentum going and runs up into a standing corkscrew senton dropping his weight onto Charlie who crumples on the mat! Blondie kips up and grabs a handful of Nickles' hair but Charlie gets a nasty forearm into Blondie's neck and causes him to stumble back and Nickles grabs Blondie into a tight headlock leading him into the corner before pushing him against the turnbuckle and throwing a few stiff elbows into Blondie's face!

Blondie drops to the mat clutching his cheek as Nickles takes a few steps back and launches forward with a knee right into Blondie's mush! Blondie's head drops and his neck lands on the bottom rope, Charlie takes a step up the corner and presses his foot down on Blondie's neck forcing him down against the rope as Blondie screams in pain as the ref begins berate Nickles before counting to 5.

Nickles looks closely at the ref and steps back from Blondie as the ref reaches 4.9.

HHL: Nickles is just being cruel here.

PIP: What, Heather? You think Charlie was gonna throw a blankie over Blondie and put him to bed? Blondie can take it!

Blondie can in fact take it as he forces himself up with aid from the ropes and stares down Nickles who eggs him to come closer. Blondie rolls his neck and signals for a collar and elbow and Charlie scoffs as he reaches a hand up and Blondie gets close to reach in but Charlie goes for another slap but Blondie sees it coming ducking low and twisting his body around to nail an overhead kick onto the top of Charlie's dome!

Blondie gets up with great speed and nails Charlie with a knife-edge chop before transitioning into a wrist lock before twisting Charlie into a pretzel and landing a bicycle high knee into Nickles' chin! Charlie hits the deck and rolls out of the way of a double foot stomp from Blondie.

Charlie takes a momentary advantage as he trips Blondie up and goes into a tight roll-up!



Kickout at 2!

Charlie gets up first and rushes in for a clothesline but Blondie drops down low and Nickles goes sailing over the top rope onto the outside!

Blondie pumps his fists and throws up the "shaka" before hitting the ropes and springboarding off the top with suicide senton colliding into Charlie and both men are down!

HHL: WOAH! Blondie got some "gnarly" air!

The crowd roar!


PIP: That moron must have broke his tailbone there! Look at him! He's in more pain than Charlie!

Blondie clutches the base of his spine as Nickles is flat out. The ref begins to count both men out.


HHL: Hey, Pip?


HHL: What happens to the tournament if one of these matches ends in a draw?


PIP: Good question, Heather!


Blondie begins to stand.


HHL: ... And?


Blondie gets to the apron.

PIP: Never said I had an answer to your question.


Charlie stirs, Blondie is about to enter but rethinks winning by count out and grabs Charlie's neck and waist throwing him into the ring first before sliding in after him.

Charlie is motionless on the canvas as Blondie goes to pick him up but Nickles was playing possum and rolls Blondie into a schoolboy, holding the tights.





THRE-NO! Blondie manages to kickout at 2.7!

The two seperate once again and Charlie goes on the offense with an eye rake, which the ref warns Charlie about, followed by a kick to the groin! Which the ref really hates and pushes Nickles back giving him one final warning. Blondie crumples onto his knees holding his package, Charlie shoves past the ref and picks up Blondie before dropping him with a BIIIIIG sidewalk slam!

PIP: Ah, perfection! Such technique!

Charlie throws an elbow down into the side of Blondie's neck before rolling up and signalling to end things. With a tight grip of the best hair in wrestling, Charlie plucks Blondie up before hooking both arms and going for the Devil Hook Drop but Blondie fights back!

He rips away from Nickles grasp and lands a chop against Nickles sternum before following up with a superkick!

Nickles drops briefly to the floor before rushing to pick himself up again, stumbling like a drunkard as he struggles to shake the cobwebs. Blondie rushes into a sprint and leaps into...


But Charlie pulls the ref in front of him!

PIP: Right into Muscles Marinara! The XWF's buffest sandwich artist/referee!

The ref is down as Charlie collapses to the mat; Blondie is stunned and immediately tries to help Muscles, rousing him with a few slaps to the cheek. The ref is trying to get up but it's no use!

Blondie calls for a hand from... Anyone before turning back to Charlie; Blondie grabs Charlie and throws him into the center of the ring and walks towards him, Charlie springs up for another low blow but Blondie catches the arm and retaliates with a beautiful enziguri!

Nickles drops back down and Blondie picks Charlie up, setting him up for a powerbomb. The crowd pick up and Blondie looks behind him to double-check the ref who is slowly beginning to stir.

Blondie nods to himself as he turns back to...



Charlie crawls forward, laughing as he does and throws an arm over Blondie's prone body!

The ref reaches forward, finally awake and gives a slow, grueling count to boos from the crowd.







Charlie's theme hits as he rolls around throwing up his arms in victory to a chorus of boos and abuse from the crowd, a wide smile on Charlie's face as he spits venom back at the pissed off crowd.

HHL: What a way to ruin a good night! And a rotten way to end a good fight!

PIP: I admire the teamwork from Dolly and Charlie! We didn't see Dionysus come in to save Blondie! I smell dissension!

Warfare fades to commercial as Nickles picks a fight with a fan.

"Beware" by Death Grips plays

The vicious chords of Beware immediately come onto the PA systems as the fans pop like crazy. Whether they love or hate the man who's about to come on out from behind the stage, they can all admit that he knows how to make an entrance.

“I close my eyes and seize it!”

“I clench my fists and beat it!”

“I light my torch and burn it!”

“I am the beast I worship!”

No sign yet from the man himself in the back, but that's not stopping the fans from getting into things. Many of them are swaying along with the beat and singing along with the lyrics. The result is an almost electric atmosphere with many people on the edge of their seats in sheer anticipation.

“I close my eyes and seize it!”

“I clench my fists and beat it!”

“I light my torch and burn it!”


As MC Ride transitions into the first proper verse, John Grayson comes out from the back with that confident, shit-eating grin. Right now, at this moment, he's the man of the hour and he knows it. He holds his arms out as he poses at the top of the ramp, the fans around him giving a mixed reaction. The lyrics progress, and as they near the end of the first verse John conducts the crowd along to continue singing.

“Wage war like no tomorrow, 'cause no HELL there won't be one!”

“For all who deny the struggle, THE TRIUMPHANT OVERCOME!”

Without any further delay, John Grayson proceeds to make his way down to the ring. He gives some scattered high-fives and motions for a few hot girls in the front row to call him after the show, before fixating his eyes right into the center of the ring. Bouncing on his toes at ringside, John rolls into the ring and quickly flips up onto his feet from the prone position.

As Beware continues echoing throughout the arena, John Grayson poses once more for the fans before picking a corner and sticking with it. With his tongue licking his lips in excitement for what he'll be getting into after the show, it's clear his enthusiasm right now at this very moment cannot be understated.

It's time to go to work.








"VAUGNEMOUS!" by XWFO$ plays

The lights in arena turn into an explosion of pinks, purples, greens, rainbows, unicorns on fire, lucky charms, rivers of sugar, and mountains of Meow Mix Ocean Explosion tuna treats as Angelica Vaughn walks out onto the ramp. She pauses with her hands on her hips, letting her cape sway gently, and gives her opposite coast home crowd a wide smile. Behind her, a blur of black and red speeds forward and under her arms as Sarah Lacklan slides in front of her and matches her pose, her head nearly a full foot under Angie's. Sarah tilts her head way way way back and up and flashes her Billion $$$ Smile, and the two wink at each other. Angie then takes her hands off her hips and pushes Sarah forward, making the former Universal Champion squawk in wide-eyed surprise, before the two make their way down the aisle.

Halfway there, Angie slows to a stop, her face turning slack, with her jaw falling to her chin. Ahead of her, Sarah sighs and rolls her eyes before backing up to Angie and, with a gentle firmness, pulling her away from that Cute Boy she had noticed sitting in an aisle seat. Angie looks longingly at the verified Cute Boy while Sarah shakes her head.

Once at ringside, Sarah slides into the ring underneath the ropes as Angie climbs the steps. Sarah gets to her feet and pulls down the top rope with all her weight, allowing Angie to step over the top rope like the most giant of giant wrestlers. As Angie walks to the center of the ring and stands with her hands on her hips, Sarah takes a microphone from Tigs and gives her a big wink.

SARAH: Hello, everyone! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

The crowd, dutifully, responds with the sound of a trumpet’s fanfare.

SARAH: World’s Greatest Life Coach and I am here to introduce to you the very FIRST member of the Family First of the XWF and my absolute (non-spouse) #RideOrDie. She is standing at the eternally totes-too-tall height of five feet and eleven inches...


SARAH: ...and weighing in today at about...oh...I'd say about thirteen or fourteen well-fed kitties...and because she likes dumb, useless, God-awful farm chores-

Sarah shutters in disgust.

SARAH: -she is fighting out of the Supes Totes Amaze Ranch in Texas...she is the Leggy Blonde of Legend…President of the Deborah Hodge Fan Club…the FUN-raiser of the XWF...the Vaughnemous A.N.G…

The crowd waits patiently as Sarah takes a deep breath.


Angie raises her hands into the air as a bedazzled spotlight shines down on her.


The crowd breaks out into a chant as Angie leads them with pumps of her arms.


March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

HHL: Grayson has had a pretty rough run of things in the Warfare department as of late while half of the new Tag Champs has seemed to find their feet and firmly planted them.

PIP: You're talking like Angie hasn't been a fixture of the fed for almost a year, Heather! Angie has had a great run since War Games last year and is still improving BAY-BAY!


Grayson wastes no time running head first into a boot from Angie Vaughn which drops him to his hands and knees, a deadly strike from Vaughn is dodged barely as Grayson rolls back to his feet and Angie catches him in a front headlock!

A rough knee lands in Grayson's gut and another glances his jaw!

The Vaughnemous One then kicks Grayson's leg out which forces him to drop a knee to the mat, the headlock choking his windpipe making him go uneasy and Angelica Vaughn drops him to the canvas before reeling a leg back and...



The crowd chime in as the soccer kick connects acting as a choir to Angie's kick!

And Vaughn rushes in for the pin!







Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles plays

HHL: Folks, the first round of March Madness has been insane so far! We’re going to keep things going wi-

HHL: …Sigh. It’s the Universal Champion.


HHL: I absolutely did not mean that, no.

Through the black curtain, with a headset microphone wrapped around his skull and the red, white and blue Universal Championship belt on his shoulder…

MASTER OF REALITY™ Mark Flynn stands at the top of the ramp. Wearing a suit and sporting a smile. Above and below his face, the screen has flashing yellow words, telling viewers to ‘CALL NOW’ at ‘1(800)-OPT-IMAL’.

Flynn strolls down the ramp, as he lifts his hand to his face, screaming and pointing at the fans to call no.

They rain down boos… Save for the Simp Section. A group of 24 fans that unconditionally worship the ground that Flynn walks on. They lift signs that say things like ‘DON’T DELAY! CALL TODAY!’ and ‘I’LL NAME MY FIRSTBORN SON FLYNN’.

Flynn rolls up the steps with swagger and confidence, tapping on the mic at the end of his headset, verifying it’s hooked up.

”I know, I know…” Flynn chuckles as his music dies out and he jogs into the ring.

“You people paid for an epic night of wall-to-wall wrestling! Sixteen matches in one night!”

Flynn squeezes his fists excitedly.

“Now, that’s bang for your buck, isn’t it? That’s a great deal!”

Flynn spins toward the hard cam and points.


“Because you’re getting an appearance from the MOST DOMINANT UNIVERSAL CHAMPION OF ALL-TIME! The man who put Micheal Graves IN HIS GRAVE! The CHAMP who left Dick Powers POWERLESS! THE CONQUEROR WHO BROKE DOWN the MECHANIC!”

The crowd boos as Flynn rattles off his wins. Save for the two-dozen simps trying to start a ‘Let’s Go Flynn!’ chant.

“Yes!” Flynn nods. “I have beaten the BEST of the BEST of the BEEEEEEST… That XWF has to offer.”

…Flynn points a finger in the air.

“But that’s not my only job around here. I also have a duty..” Flynn shakes his head. “No. A PRIVILEGE. To keep this company STROOOOOOOONG. By… MOLDING the WEAK. By SHAVING the dead branches dragging the magnificent Redwood that is the XWF FROM REACHING THE HEAVENS! THE MOUNTAINTOP™! THE OPTIMAL PATH™!”

The crowd continues to rain down boos!

”Which brings me to the man I called out this week… Truly, THE WEAKEST LINK in the XWF Food Chain… JOB GUY…”

A surprising batch of cheers for XWF’s resident Job Guy!

”Normally, I call out the weakest link BOOKED on the show. But, let’s face facts. Job Guy hasn’t had a match in almost EIGHT MONTHS. He’s had EVERY CHANCE in the world to pull himself up by his bootstraps… And he’s taken absolutely NONE OF THEM.”

“In other words… He’s the perfect candidate to be BORN ANEW IN THE OPTIMAL PATH™!”

Flynn beckons toward the ramp.

“So, come on out, Job Guy! It’s time to be REBIRTHED into your NEW FORM!”

Flynn paces back-and-forth.

“I KNOW YOU’RE BACK THERE, GUYARDO! Eating the goddamned catering, stuffing your personal belongings in a company locker, WASTING COMPANY RESOURCES. THERE ARE A FINITE NUMBER OF ROSTER SPOTS… And like a leech burrowed into the veins of a SUPERIOR CREATURE, you’re a PARASITE that I will EXCISE TONIGHT…”

As Flynn speaks, the crowd starts to… cheer?

HHL: Haha! Wow!

…Flynn squints, perplexed.

“TIME IS MONEY, JOB! I DON’T HAVE AL-” A tap on Flynn’s shoulder.

Flynn slowly turns around.

And who’s behind him but JOB GUY!

Shocked, Flynn leaps backwards defensively.

Wearing a t-shirt, jeans, a pair of shades… And holding onto a sandwich from the catering table. It’s Job Guy himself!

The crowd starts a Job Guy chant!

PIP: Where the Hell did he come from?

HHL: Job Guy always starts in the center of the ring, Pip! Before his opponent’s music plays!

PIP: …Sure, but I thought he just walked down the ramp during the commercial break! Does he have teleportation powers?!?

Job Guy continues to chew on his sandwich (Looks like a Turkey and Swiss), as Flynn sizes him up.

…Seeing that Job Guy is not immediately attacking him, Flynn drops his fists.

“Neat trick.”

The crowd cheers for Job Guy.


Flynn sticks a finger right in Job’s face.

“What’s the matter, huh? You think a SPORT isn’t about wins-and-losses? You think you’ve got something special that WARRANTS you being kept around, even if you don’t have a THIMBLE full of talent in your ENTIRE FUCKING BODY.”

Job takes another bite of the sandwich. The crowd cheers.

Flynn looks around, irritatedly.

“...Guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’ve got no retort to my verbal barbs. Considering you’ve had no reply to getting pounded around the ring by losers like JOHNNY MIAMI and CHRISTIAN MORPHINE…”

Job Guy lifts a fist.

Flynn grins wildly! He puts up his dukes, ready for a fight…

Job Guy takes that fist…

And brushes a few crumbs off his chin.

The crowd stands on their feet chanting ‘JOB GUY’! Even some of the simps in Flynn’s section begrudgingly clap

HHL: The XWF Universe loves Job Guy!

…Flynn squints, completely lost as to what this man is doing that warrants applause.

”Okay… New tactic, Job.”

Flynn tears off his suit jacket, tosses it outside the ring.

”I’m going to BEAT the SHIT outta you.” Flynn rips off his pants, revealing his blue tights underneath. [orange]”And we’re going to see just how loudly this FUCKING BUFFOONS chant your name… When you’re leaving the ring in a BODY BAG!”

Flynn tears the headset off his skull and frisbees it out of the ring. He squares up, beckoning Job, like ‘C’MON! Let’s go!’...

…Job finishes the last bite of sandwich. He licks his lips satisfied.

Job reaches into his pocket! Flynn’s eyes widen!

PIP: Did Job Guy come prepared to fight Flynn? Did he bring a weapon?!?

Job Guy fishes out of his pocket…


THE CROWD GOES WILD! Flynn goes to the ropes and stomps his feet furiously!

HHL: Possible mindgames here from Job Guy! Flynn called him out for being just an extra sandwich that the XWF catering team has to make! It turns out Job took two!

PIP: Flynn is disgusted! Hell, I’m DISGUSTED! Flabbergasted and disgusted! Sandwiches are for WINNERS, Heather!

HHL: They’re for all employees, Pip! And that includes Job Guy!

Job lifts the sandwich to his face, unwrapping the plastic off the corner…

Flynn marches across the ring and….


The sandwich flies out of JG’s hand and into the third row!

…Flynn sticks his finger in Guy’s face, screaming and pointing at himself that HE is the UNIVERSAL CHAMPION.



Pulls his shades off his face. As Flynn continues to shout at him…

Flynn shoves Job hard in the chest…

Job bounces against the ropes…

…Slowly steps forward…


Slow like a snail…

Gently touches Flynn’s shoulder with his shoulder…

The crowd EXPLODES!

…Flynn is stomping his feet, pointing at him like ‘HE DOESN’T *DO* ANYTHING’.

HHL: Incredibly STIFF shoulder-block by Job Guy! He was going a full 0.4 miles an hour on that one!

Flynn turns around to scream at the crowd some more, furious that they’re cheering for this NOTHING…

When Job Guy slowly creeps up behind him…


Flynn’s arms waggle, shocked! As Job Guy tightens a sleeper hold around Flynn’s throat!

PIP: Whoa! What are we witnessing here, Heather?

HHL: It’s the GHB, Pip! It’s Job Guy’s finishing move!

PIP: …How do I not know about this?

HHL: Probably because Job Guy’s never gotten the opportunity to use it in a match…

Flynn’s face turns purple! His lungs seize! JG might not be the quickest wrestler in the company, but his sleeperhold is PHENOMENAL!

HHL: Job Guy has Flynn dead to rights! Imagine what it’ll do for JG’s career if he chokes out the CURRENT UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! We could be seeing JG move onto Main-Event Status!


…Flynn tries to dig a hand in between his throat and JG’s bicep to break the grip!

BUT JG tightens!



Flynn sidesteps his feet behind JG! He hoists JG into the air!


JG’s grip is broken, but mechanically and flawlessly, Flynn rolls over and takes JG’s arm! FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

JG screams!

…Well, it’s more of a mumble, but for JG, it’s about as close as he gets to screaming!

Flynn cranks!



JG slowly rolls onto his front, clutching his arm in devastating agony!

The crowd is back to booing furiously at Flynn! How dare he injure Job Guy!!!

Flynn scrambles to his feet, as the crowd rains down its displeasure!

HHL: Absolutely disgusting attack by Mark Flynn! There was no reason whatsoever to dislocate Job Guy’s arm!

PIP: Job Guy tried to choke Flynn, Heather! The only Flynn could ensure his own safety was to STRIP JG of the ability of squeezing that DANGEROUS and DEADLY ARM!

HHL: Flynn knocked the sandwich out of Job’s hand first, Pip!

PIP: …Maybe Flynn thought the sandwich was poisoned!

As the crowd lets Flynn know they are not into what he’s done here, Flynn scoops the headset back off the ground and adjust it back onto his head.

He stands over the face-down, brutally-maimed Job Guy.




“Like that loser, ‘The’ Jessica Anderson… Who went from Anarchy’s biggest loser to ONE-THIRD of the Madness Trios champions!”

“YOU, JOB GUY, WILL BE BORN ANEW… In the glorious light of the Optimal Path™…”

…Flynn smiles.

“But, first… You might wanna get that arm looked at… Courtesy of the company healthplan, of course…”

…Flynn drops the headset.


The crowd starts lobbing their garbage at Flynn.

The Simp Section… The Simp Section pulls out umbrellas!

Flynn quickly jogs to the front row, where the Simp Section is sitting and huddles under their coverage.

As popcorn bags and extra-large sodas rebound off the umbrellas, Flynn looks into the hardcam, lifting his hand to his ear, reminding folks to call now!

HHL: …Sigh. Well, it’s gonna take us a while to clean up the mess Flynn left. We’re cutting to a quick message for our sponsors. Don’t touch that dial folks! We’ll be right back!

"The King's Affirmation" by Iniko plays

Isaiah King, walks to the ring, to do his thing.

"Ode to Joy (Waters Version)" by XWFO$ plays

The stadium spotlights rush up toward the ceiling and Waters appears under the XTron. She marches to the beat of Ode To Joy, the crowd roaring, her gaze set squarely on the squared circle. She climbs through the ropes and takes the center of the ring. Raising a single fist into the air.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -


HHL: The energy in the ring right now feels like it’s about to explode into sparks, Pip. Two of the best in the business right now are about to go at it.

Pip: Well Heather, if I was a betting man - and I am, for your information - I’m betting on Dolly. She’s got a lot more to prove here, and she’s a lot more eager to do just that.

HHL: I guess we’ll have to see how this match shakes out, then…

King and Dolly both lock eyes from across the ring, no love clearly lost between these two people, and very little respect being offered. The fans are being whipped into a frenzy already just from the onset, clearly having anticipated this match for a long while now.

The two competitors come to the ring, and King looks to be calling for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Dolly hesitates and thinks about it for a minute, before the two go in and engage - NO! Dolly feints the tie-up, ducking underneath and slipping beneath King! King quickly follows along to keep his eyes on her-


King’s head gets put on a swivel from Dolly’s open-palmed slap! She wastes no time trying to get in King’s head with a smug smile on her face from the underhanded tactics! The fans give a loud ‘oooh’ at the impact, and it takes a minute for it to sink in with King… Before trying to lunge after Dolly!

Dolly’s eyes immediately widen as she backs up, the two playing a game of cat-and-mouse as she proceeds to tangle herself in the ropes. King can’t quite manage to get his hands on little Dolly before the referee gets involved, trying to separate the two.

HHL: Crafty strategy from Dolly, but hopefully this won’t be coming to bite her in the behind later on.

Pip: Oh, please. It’s brilliant! Get that fake King reeling and get him making mistakes! I trust in Dolly’s capabilities!

Dolly removes herself from the ropes as soon as the ref backs King up to a respectable position. The two circle around the ring once again, King with a laser-focused precision on Dolly this time. The two engage again, Dolly once more trying to duck King, but this time King grabs Dolly by the head and THROWS her right back down to the mat! Harsh landing for the young Waters, but she quickly manages to roll off to the side and bring her back onto her feet as King motions for her to bring it!

Dolly wets her lips, knowing she needs to create an opening here. The two engage again, King trying to use his notorious boxing experience to stand and bang with Dolly. Dolly’s placed on the back foot from this, trying to bob and weave her way through, but a good few solid jabs catch her on the nose and force her back.

Dolly moves in with a calf kick. King raises his leg, trying to block the kick, but it turns out to be another feint! Dolly instead spins on a dime, going the opposite way and hitting a spinning wheel kick! King manages to swerve in time to avoid damage to the face, but the kick lands firm on his shoulder as he winces from the impact. Dolly’s eyes light up like a kid in a candy store, smelling blood in the water as soon as she gets up.

King manages to get up onto his feet, only for Dolly to IMMEDIATELY target the arm and shoulder with a single-leg dropkick! King gets sent back a good couple steps into the ropes, trying to massage his arm as the kick hits firm.

HHL: Uh-oh. This is not good for Isaiah King. Dolly Waters has her target in her sights, and she’s going to stop at nothing to rip that target to shreds.

Pip: And that’s why I say the smart money is on Dolly. King’s still got a looooot to learn here.

King pounds the mat with the targeted arm, making sure it’s still good to go as he gets back up on two feet. The two seem to be going at a faster pace now as Dolly continues trying to launch kicks and forearms at the targeted arm. He’s avoiding the worst of it, but Dolly still lets the damage rack up with a good few glancing blows. She tries for one last roundhouse kick-

CAUGHT BY KING! Dolly tries holding her hands out to try and talk to King, but it’s no use! Drop toe hold sends Dolly down to the mat face-first as now King looks to try marching onwards to take the lead in this match! A clubbing body blow comes as Dolly tries putting herself up, exposing her so that King can throw her into the corner!

King now goes for a clothesline as Dolly’s against the turnbuckles, and she gets absolutely nailed! Her body can’t take too many big hits, especially with King as focused as he is! He goes back around, looking for another corner lariat! Dolly comes to life at the last minute though, taking King right by the targeted arm right before he comes into contact with her and bringing it right against the top rope! The tightened cord bounces and lashes out at King’s arm, and he sucks in air through his teeth as Dolly starts to widen the gap between them at that moment.

With King nursing his arm, Dolly takes advantage of her positioning! She hops right up to the second turnbuckle, and waits for King to turn around… Meteora! She quickly uses her weight to take down King, and her knee definitely makes sure to dig itself right into the injured shoulder for added insult to injury!

HHL: I’ll give King credit for giving as good as he’s getting, but Dolly is slimy in that ring. She’s really using her savvy mind to her advantage here, as much as it pains me to admit.

Pip: She’s just doing whatever it takes to win, Heather! We see so many people adopt that mindset in the XWF and it works wonders for them! What’s so bad about it?

HHL: How about the fact that they need to take underhanded shortcuts in order to win?

Dolly tries to go for a cover on King, but he immediately raises a shoulder - his good shoulder - and shoves Dolly right off of him! Dolly lands flat on her behind, and King sucks in air again as he gets back up onto his feet. Dolly tries to lunge in-


HHL: King out of nowhere with some surprising offense! He’s setting the Guillotine up here, Pip!

Pip: This could be bad news for Dolly if King hits that Guillotine of Destruction!

King looks to take advantage, trying to end this match once and for all! He lunges in, hopping up for that jumping DDT…!

He’s got his arms around Dolly! But Dolly moves back with King’s weight, refusing to let him fall forward! There’s a small struggle with them, but it ends with Dolly managing to catch King against the top rope with a Stun Gun! King snaps back as his neck and injured shoulder get caught onto it before landing on a knee!

Dolly sees her opening as she takes King by the arm! Rolling forward, she manages to lock in the ROLLING WATERS LEBELL LOCK!

Center of the ring now! Dolly has her hands over her opponent’s eyes and forehead here as King is writhing with all that pain done to his injured shoulder! He doesn’t want to give in, but things are looking dire here! He grits his teeth as the referee tries to check on him, making sure he’s not giving up…!

But what the ref can’t see properly as the two of them keep moving back and forth is that Dolly’s fingers extend in her grip, poking and clawing at King’s eyes! The added layer of assault with no immediate way to counter out is what does the job-



HHL: What a disgusting way to secure victory. I hope Dolly sure is proud of herself here.

Pip: All’s fair in love and war, Heather, and I think we can agree that was a war.

"Blue Monday (Remix)" by Sebastian Bohm plays

The honeyed rasp of Atara's voice blares over the facility's PA in unison with those words appearing on the multitude of screens and displays littering the arena.

The house lights fall dark with a loud audible snap.  The stage and the ring remain lit in a dim gold colored lighting.

"Lionheart" by NKWC plays

The announcers lay out as the Page SAGA countdown begins to play. The countdown transitions to 'Medal' as the crowd roars.

RA:  From the Tribeca section of New York City.  Weighing 2 hundred 17 pounds.



Thad enters the stage with his hood up.  Standing on stage, Thad gives his messiah pose as a triple pyro shot from the top of the X-Tron toward the ring. When it bursts, it reveals a sparkling golden image of a roaring lion above the ring, bringing cheers from the XWF Universe.

After the pyro bursts, Thad in his custom white leather Lionheart jacket, throws his hood off as he begins down the ramp.  At the bottom, he slaps a few hands before climbing the ring steps.  At the top of the steps he pauses, looking over his shoulder toward the cheering Universe with his sweet smile.

Stepping to the apron, he slingshots himself over the top and into the ring before traveling to all four corners, climbing to the middle rope and sending out the ‘I Love You’ hand sign to the Universe.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

Duke and Raven rest in their corners.

HHL: A returning Thaddeus Duke versus Atara Raven who has been a roll of highs in my opinion.

PIP: ... Does Thad looks shorter to you?

HHL: ... Whu?

PIP: Does he look shorter? Or is he just far away? ... He looks shorter.

HHL: You're one to talk about height, Pip.

PIP: That's low, Heather.

HHL: Ha... You're low.


The bell sounds and the two dap each other up before circling one another. Thaddeus steps to the bat first with a right which is ducked and Atara surprises Thad with a back body drop but Duke manages to roll out mid-air and leaps up into a side kick which is ducked by Atara, Duke lands on his heels and strikes backwards with a back heel which is caught by Atty! Raven goes to pull the rug out from under Duke's feet but Thaddeus rolls forward and gets back to his feet! Raven sprints in but Duke catches her and goes for a backbreaker but Raven counters with a hurricanrana and sends Duke across the mat but Thad rolls with the throw and hits the ropes ducking under a lariat and going for a belly-to-back!

Atara manages to slip the hold and rolls across getting to Thad's back and going for a German of her own but Thaddeus hooks her leg and blocks the throw, breaking the hold Thaddeus takes advantage with an arm drag keeping the forearm held he stays glued to Atty with an arm lock!

Thaddeus wrenches at the arm until Raven twists out and pretzels Duke into a pumphandle and as Raven lifts, Thaddeus flips out of it and lands on his feet turning to Raven and the pair nail one another trading roundhouses!

The crowd go wild as both competitors hit the canvas at the same time!

PIP: The fuck did all that lucha shit come from!?

HHL: Know each other too well I suppose, great opening to this match but I'm looking to see who gets the upper hand here.

Both wrestlers get up at the same time and share a look. Raven this time is the one to step up and feigns a front kick causing Thaddeus to block high before swiftly transitioning into a basement dropkick and kick Thad's knees out from under him! Atara hits the ropes and on the rebound as Duke gets to his knees, Raven drops Thad back down with a scrambling low bulldog and crawls forward getting Duke into a bulldog choke and following up with marching knees to Duke's head forcing him back to his feet!

Raven forces Thad into the ropes and whips him across the ring as she runs towards him looking for...


Trying to end things early doesn't work out as Thaddeus catches Atara mid-air and drops her with a brutal spinebuster, Thad takes a brief second to check his nose before throwing Atara's legs up and over and transitioning into a high-angle Boston Crab!

HHL: Atara isn't near the ropes, she's gonna struggle to get out of this!

Atara screams in pain as Thaddeus stabs his knee into Atty's spine.

PIP: This is easy for Atty to get out of, this is foreplay in the Raven household.

HHL: ... Ew.

PIP: I meant they train together a lot, Heather, get your head out of the gutter!

The ref gets down to Atara to see if she gives up but Atty don't tap, ATTY SMASH!

She throws her fists down onto the canvas and begins to lift her body up with a roar and manages to flip Thaddeus over escaping the hold!

Atty reels on the ground in pain clutching her spine as Thad sits up, pretty fucking impressed from Atara's show of strength.

Thad gets to his feet and kicks down on Atty's back who reacts in anguish before Thad begins to stamp down on each limb with a showman's boot before leaving a mudhole in Atty's head to finish her off.

HHL: Thad still has that mean streak in him but he looks reluctant to do it.

PIP: Do anything to win, that's what I say.

Thaddeus boots Atara in the chest to rouse her and she begins to stir, Duke goes to the outside onto the apron and the crowd let loose as Thaddeus screams at Atara to get up!

Egging her on!

Atara begins to stand and Thaddeus slingshots over the top rope with a flip looking for the MONEY SHOT!



The high knee strike rocks Thaddeus' jaw and sends him falling back through the ropes onto the outside as Atara scrambles on her hands and knees hoping to catch Thad into a pin but to no avail!

Atara's head drops onto the canvas as the ref begins to count Duke out!




HHL: Thad isn't moving!


PIP: I'm not shocked, I felt that knee!


Atara begins to get to her knees sucking in wind.


Thaddeus stirs on the outside.


Atara stumbles back holding her spine.


Thaddeus pushes himself up the roar of the XWF crowd urging her to stand.


The crowd trade chants for each competitor.


Thaddues throws his body onto the apron!


Duke rushes up and dodges a clothesline! Thaddeus dropkicking the base of Atara's back!

Raven falls forward but pushes herself up!

Thaddeus gets to her with great speed and gets a knee to her gut looking for a vertical suplex!

Thad hoists Raven into the air but at the peak Raven slips out and gets to Thaddeus' back!



Atara begins to throw Duke back!


Landing a few feet back Atara turns to face her opponent only to meet the sole of his boot!


The legendary Duke superkick hits it's mark and Thad falls into the pin!







The crowd go wild as Duke's theme hits and Duke thanks Atara on the ground for the match who reciprocates with a gentle hand on Thad's arm.

HHL: A great win for Thaddeus Duke! Good to see him back!

PIP: ... He definitely is shorter though.

Warfare fades out as Thaddeus gets to his knees to celebrate.

‘Troublemaker’ by Troublemaker plays

A the buzz of the crowd falls as the lights fade down and everyone finds themselves in darkness. After a moment of nothing, there's the crackling of an old recording, and then a voice: 

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" 
"Your act at this time!"

The stage screens begin to flick to life with an old reel of film showing various clips of magicians performing, shots of crowds smiling and laughing, point and wondering. All, of course, in silence. 

"Sights of wonder and amazement!" 
"A spectacle that will confound and amuse your mind!" 

The stage screens continue to flicker with the images of an era bygone. The final clip comes to focus on a figure standing alone on a stage, the back to the screen, obscured by the shadows.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" 
"The Last Magician!" 

There's a pause, and then the beginning of ‘Troublemaker’ by Troublemaker comes across the PA, the whistling first cutting through the silence then drowned out by the fans’ cheers. The screens up the stage area still show the silhouette of a lone person standing in the shadows.  Then, mirroring that shot, a sole spotlight fades in at the top of the ramp, and we find 'The Last Magician' Sally Talfourd with her back to the arena. The crowd gets louder and then, as the music kicks in, Sally turns to face the crowd, her arms outstretched and her head bowed to everyone.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, making her way to the ring, 'The Last Magician' .......... Sally Talfourd! 

Sally lowers her arms, raises her head, and makes her way down the ramp. Fans rush to the railings. She makes a direct line to the ring, pulling herself up to apron, looks around to the fans before she steps in, coming through the ropes loosening her wrists. Sally laps the ring as the arena returns to normal, then takes up position across the ring, stretching her legs on the ropes and readying herself for the ring.

"Losin Your Mind" by Black Label Society


(The sound of banjo picking begins to play over the PA)

Woke up early this morning
As I looked around my world be crumblin' down
What I saw, I couldn't believe, Who are you?
What might I be? Oh, the things you do

("Mad Dog" Mark Wright comes barreling through the entrance way. Chugging a can of beer. He stops at the top of the entrance way, and smashes the can on his head. Mad Dog throws the smashed can into the crowd and then pulls his jacket off throwing it down and runs down the entrance way and slides under the bottom rope into the ring.)

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

As the bell sounds, Wright steps out of the corner and approaches the center of the ring, where Talfourd is already waiting. She looks ready to fight, but Wright seems a little reluctant, as he considers the woman in front of him. Talfourd steps forward, wanting to lock up, but Wright takes a step back instead.

Smiling, Talfourd tells him to come on, wanting to get this going. She swings a couple of times at Wright, landing a couple of stiff shots to the side, staggering Wright back. He seems to shake them off, annoyed, before coming forward with a muted swing of his own. Talfourd easily counters it, though, managing to send Wright flipping over to his side on the mat! Talfourd slides in, quickly applying a front chancery to try and keep the slightly larger wrestler down.

HHL: A tentative start for Mark Wright, who stated before this match he wasn’t sure about fighting a lady.

PIP: It’s 2023, Mark! Slug her in the gut and let’s get this going!

Wright fights his way to his feet, with Talfourd trying to hang on. Wright, though, starts to lift her up out of the front chancery into a suplex, only for Talfourd to reverse out of it, getting behind Wright and tucking him into a pinfall attempt!



And Wright kicks free of the hold, popping to his feet. Talfourd jumps up as well, grabbing at him from behind, but Wright spins on instinct, snapping into Talfourd with a headbutt!! Talfourd falls backwards, holding her head, as Wright looks a little surprised at what he just did. He looks around at the crowd, who are cheering on the action.

PIP: That’s more like it!

HHL: Wright needs to take advantage of every opportunity he gets. Talfourd may be new to the XWF, but she has been wrestling around the world for many years. You can’t give her any chance to put that experience to good use.

As Wright pulls Talfourd up, attempting to position her for another lift, Talfourd catches him off-guard with a forearm strike, staggering him back. Wright responds with his own punch, knocking Talfourd against the ropes, but she flies back at him and scores a spinning wheel kick!!

With Wright stumbling, Talfourd quickly jumps at him, grabbing him by the head to score the Either Or double knee facebreaker!!! Wright drops to his side, knocked senseless, as Talfourd goes for another cover, wanting to put this one away.



No, Wright kicks out once again!

HHL: Sally Talfourd showing why she’s such a great signee here in the XWF!

PIP: It would definitely be a statement to come in and immediately win the March Madness tournament.

Talfourd has Wright up now, landing a few shots to the ribs before looking to whip him across the ring. But Wright, with a shout, is able to reverse it, sending Talfourd instead. She comes back, going for a clothesline, but Wright goes underneath it, then spins, catching Talfourd on the return with the UMWA Kick!!! Talfourd hits hard, with Wright looking fired up!

Before Talfourd can recover, Wright is already dragging her up. He locks her into place, lifting her easily into the air and landing the Appalachian Suplex!! With Talfourd down, Wright gives a couple of “Roofs” towards the audience, then drops down with his weight for the pinfall.



And Talfourd gets her shoulder up in time!

PIP: The Mad Dog is starting to come out!

HHL: If Wright wants to move forward in the tournament, he’s got to keep this up!

The referee stays out of the way as Wright takes Talfourd over to the corner, ramming into her with a series of shoulder rams. He then pulls Talfourd out, lifting her up and bodyslamming her to the mat. With Talfourd laying there, Wright goes up to the second turnbuckle, positioning himself. He leaps off with an elbow drop… but Talfourd’s able to roll aside in time!

Wright fights back to his feet, holding his elbow painfully, as he turns back to the recovering Talfourd. He reaches for her, but Talfourd greets him with a kick, then spins him into the Splendor In The Grass!! Wright hits hard, laying there, as Talfourd takes a few moments to get her breath back before turning and making the cover.



TH- Kickout!!

HHL: Both wrestlers pulling out all the stops tonight!

PIP: Just like everyone else in this tournament, Heather! Nobody wants to lose in the first round!

Feeling the momentum starting to go her way, Talfourd pumps up the crowd, wanting them to be just as energized. She waits for Wright to pull himself up, then comes in at him, landing the Lights Out neckbreaker!! Wright’s down, but Talfourd doesn’t cover this time. She heads for the ropes instead, going for the High Hopes moonsault!!

And Wright moves out of the way!! Talfourd hits the mat with no cushion, holding her ribs from the impact. She struggles to get up, even as Wright sets himself, leaping in and hammering her with the Mountaineer Lariat!! Talfourd does a flip, landing hard on her stomach, as Wright stumbles over to the ropes himself. He goes up top, setting himself up to Go Mad!! He launches through the air… and Talfourd barely rolls out of the way in time, with Wright headbutting the mat!!

HHL: Neither wrestler was able to land one of their finishers there!

PIP:They may have missed this time, Heather, but it only takes landing it once to put this one away!

HHL: Who will be able to pull it off?

With Wright struggling to get up, Talfourd stands by the ropes, shaking her head clear. She watches Wright, waiting for the perfect moment. She then runs forward, grabbing hold of Wright and going for the Outro!!! But Wright shoves her off, blocking it! He falls against the ropes, coming back with another Mountaineer Lariat, but Talfourd ducks under it. She grabs Wright from behind, no, Wright is able to yank away from her, spinning around…


Wright falls heavily into the pinfall, as the ref drops to count…





HHL: What a victory for Mark Wright, who’s now on the board and moving forward in the March Madness tournament!!

PIP: Sally Talfourd very nearly pulled off another incredible magic trick, but in the end, the last twist was from the Mad Dog!

HHL: I can’t wait to see more from both competitors in the future!

Wright is hanging on the ropes, pumped with the thrill of victory. He stumbles out of the ring, joining the crowd for a few seconds as a few celebrate with him.

"Top Gun Anthem (Calypso Remix) by XWFO$ plays

Glass breaks and the Top Gun Anthem begins to play!  Smoke fills the entrance and Calypso emerges from within it with purple lights shining down and flashing all around him.  He slowly heads towards the ring praising the crowd on his way.

"This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue

The lights in the arena go out, causing the usual hysteria from the crowd. After a few seconds, Peter Vaughn's face appears on the big tron, darkly smirking down at the fans.

"This Time... It's Different."

After Vaughn finishes speaking, he begins to laugh. His laughter carries on as the Tron video overtakes his image, beginning with "This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue. Sparks begin to erupt around the stage, showering nearby fans who feel like they're a little too close to the action. As the fireworks die down, two figures appear through the smoke and haze. Peter Vaughn walks forward first, followed by Chronic Chris Page stays behind him, smiling at the reaction Vaughn is getting. They stop at the top of the ramp, surveying the hatred from the crowd. From Vaughn's reaction, you'd think they were chanting his name, as he walks down the aisle with a cocky smile, with Page right behind him. The two make their way into the ring, heading into a corner to discuss some last-minute strategy.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

The bell rings, and Vaughn immediately rushes forward, racing towards Calypso for a clothesline. Calypso quickly bends back, going under the clothesline like a limbo participant! Vaughn spins, stunned, but then lashes out with a spinning heel kick, only to have Calypso do a roll and avoid it. Frustrated, Vaughn charges at Calypso, but Calypso does a quick drop toe hold, sending Vaughn into the turnbuckles!

Vaughn rolls to the outside, trying to recover from the impact, as Calypso gets to his feet. He quickly slides out of the ring behind Vaughn, grabbing at him, and sending him right back into the ring! As a startled Vaughn gets to his feet, Calypso comes in right behind him, grabbing hold and going for the Stunner!! But Vaughn breaks away, rolling until he’s out of the ring again, as Calypso smiles about how close he just came.

HHL: Calypso nearly made this the shortest match of the night!

PIP: We all know how Vaughn’s cursed the wheel about this match-up. He probably just wanted to get it over and done with, and he almost got his wish, just not the way he would want!

Vaughn paces outside for a minute, shaking it off, before finally coming back onto the apron. Calypso just waits patiently, as Vaughn cautiously steps through the ropes. The two begin moving around each other, with the two locking up. Vaughn wins the exchange, whipping Calypso towards the ropes. Calypso comes back, though, again ducking under an attack, and comes back… right into Vaughn’s leaping dropkick!

PIP: He couldn’t dodge that one!

HHL: Vaughn’s becoming a seasoned veteran of this sport, which means he knows when to readjust his tactics.

As Calypso gets up, Vaughn is right there, driving him back down with a snap DDT. Vaughn then turns himself around, grabbing Calypso by the head and applying a crossface submission! He pulls back on the man, trying to make him give up, all the while insulting him as he does so. Calypso fights the hold, though, refusing to tap out, as he pulls towards the ropes.

After a minute of struggle, Calypso finally manages it grabbing hold. Vaughn, though, doesn’t release the hold, even as the referee starts to count.





Just before the five count, Vaughn finally breaks it, rolling off of the wounded Calypso. He gets to his feet, with the ref admonishing him, but Vaughn doesn’t want to hear it. He just goes back to work, stomping on his opponent.

HHL: I thought we might have a disqualification ending, which would be terrible for a tournament match.

PIP: Vaughn’s hatred at having to face Calypso here may be pushing him a little too far. Can you imagine how much Calypso would celebrate if he tricked Vaughn into DQ’ing himself?

Calypso drags himself up in the corner, hurting, as Vaughn comes in against him. He chops Calypso a few times, stinging blows that echo in the arena. He then again taunts Calypso, before whipping him to the other side, no, Calypso reverses, and it’s Vaughn who hits the turnbuckle corner!

Before Vaughn can recover, Calypso flies in after him, landing a Stinger splash! He then scores a European uppercut, snapping Vaughn’s head backwards. With Vaughn dazed, Calypso hauls him out of the corner and turns him, delivering a reverse neckbreaker to put him down. Calypso makes the cover, hanging onto both legs…



No! Vaughn kicks out, pushing Calypso off of him!

HHL: Calypso is showing the world that he’s here to make an impact in the tournament!

PIP: That’s what EVERYONE is here for!

HHL: Well, yes, but…

PIP: Everyone wants to win, no one wants to lose. It’s the way of the sport!

As Vaughn struggles to get up, Calypso drops a knee on him, knocking him back to the canvas. Calypso then turns, looking towards the turnbuckle. He goes up… as far as the second turnbuckle, positioning himself. He then leaps, coming down with an elbow drop. This hits squarely on the canvas, as Vaughn kips up, avoiding it!

In pain, Calypso pops back to his feet, but Vaughn turns and kicks him, before delivering the Keyholder ripcord DDT!! Calypso’s down, with Vaughn looking energized as he quickly rolls him over, making the cover and demanding the ref count quickly.



TH-NO! Calypso shoots the shoulder up, avoiding the loss and leaving Vaughn looking shocked!

PIP: I thought that was going to be it!

HHL: So did Vaughn!

PIP: It’s not often both of us are wrong…

Vaughn has hauled up Calypso at this point, angry at him for daring to kick out of the Keyholder. He lifts Calypso up, looking to suplex him over, but Calypso switches around in mid-air and lands on his feet! He quickly knocks a surprised Vaughn forward, sending him flailing into the ropes. As Vaughn rebounds, Calypso leaps into him, scoring the Guns For Hire!

With Vaughn down, Calypso quickly pulls himself up and grabs at the Mechanic’s legs, twisting them around… and applying a figure four submission!! The crowd is cheering wildly, wanting to see Vaughn forced to tap out. Calypso hangs on, keeping it locked in, as Vaughn struggles to find a way to either reverse it or reach the freedom of the ropes.

HHL: Can Calypso make him submit?

PIP: The crowd wants to see it, but I sure don’t!

Despite all his efforts, Vaughn can’t manage to reverse the figure four. He struggles against it, with the referee leaning down to check on him. Vaughn immediately reaches out and grabs the ref, using him for leverage. The ref instinctively yanks back, but this movement gives Vaughn the extra oomph he needs to shove backwards, finally able to reach out and grab the ropes!

The ref admonishes Vaughn, even as the hold is broken. Calypso pulls himself up, shaking his head at Vaughn’s antics. He moves past the referee, grabbing for Vaughn to go for another Stunner! But Vaughn reacts, pulling Calypso down into a schoolboy!!



Calypso reverses it!!



NO!! Vaughn gets out in time!!!

HHL: Two near falls back to back!

PIP: The crowd is losing it, they know this one could end at any moment!!

Both wrestlers roll to their respective sides, pulling themselves up using the ropes. Vaughn glares over at Calypso, who returns the look. The two men rush at each other, swinging away, with Calypso getting the upper hand. He knocks Vaughn backwards with an uppercut, then grabs at Vaughn on the rebound… and goes for the Stunner!!

But Vaughn blocks it!! He twists Calypso around, going for the Revenged…

And Calypso escapes as well!!

The two men both work to regain their balance, as the referee inadvertently steps between them. Both men charge… and the ref barely manages to dive out of the way in time!! Seeing this, Vaughn drops under Calypso’s assault… landing a low blow!!! Calypso groans, bending over, as Vaughn leaps up…


Vaughn makes the cover, with the ref having missed it all…





HHL: Vaughn takes advantage of the situation once again!!

PIP: The man knows when to pull off a low blow, I’ll give him that.

HHL: What a screwjob for Calypso, he had this one!

Vaughn has already left the ring, content to leave everything behind him. He heads up the aisle, as Calypso tries to recover in the ring, looking extremely disappointed.

HHL: Well, Pip! It’s been a thrill-ride of a first-round in the 2023 March Madness tournament! But, we’re not through with it yet!

PIP: Heather, we’ve got sixteen matches scheduled, let’s just keep the show moving, shall we?

HHL: …Uh, sure, can do. Well, in the center of the ring, we have MARTY! Our robo-official that Vinnie Lane bought used from a Wal-Mart in Pensatucky.

PIP: Won’t be long now until ChatGPT steals commentary jobs as well.

HHL: …Pip, you all right? You seem… dour, all of a sudden.

PIP: I stubbed my toe on my desk during the last commercial break and now I don’t want to live.

HHL: …Ah, Yep, checks out.

The sounds of rain falling against the leaves of trees is heard filling the arena as the lights turn into a deep blue. The stage has a fog blanketing it, then the sound of thunder is heard after a flash of strobes, representing lightening, enters the arena. This happens once more before the gentle hum of whispers are heard before the wispy, subtle female voice comes over the PA system.

”A man without direction has found it. He once lead those that needed direction to where they needed to go, now he has found his direction. One where he will and be as great as he has taught others to be. It is now his time. He is the one that will put forth the greatness he has instilled in others. Welcome to his GREATNESS!!”

The wispy female voice ends with a stern yet calm scream leading into the introduction of "Werewolf" by Motionless in White.

"Werewolf" by Motionless in White plays

Jacoby steps out into the fog upon the stage, wearing his hooded robe covering his wrestling trunks. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction, some boo, some cheer, some just simply scream and yell in excitement.

HHL: This isn’t just any March Madness, Pip! We’re witnessing the XWF debut of Jacoby Spencer, Pip! D’ya figure he has an advantage as an unknown quantity against 31 other tourney competitors?

PIP: It’s a factor to consider, Heather. But, it’s a question of psychology. Do you want to turn heads in the first round and paint a target on your back? Or do you want to try and play it quiet and risk getting surprised by a game competitor that might knock you out early?

Spencer begins to make his way down the ramp now, his head lowered and still hidden by the hood of his robe. The music intensifies as he moves toward the ring.

As the chorus hits the speakers, Jacoby slides into the ring under the bottom rope bringing the arena lights back to normal revealing the fog inside the ring as well.

HHL: Clearly, the pyro and effects team spared no expense on his intro!

As the lyrics are sang, Jacoby flips his hood down revealing his face, as he screams out in aggression and his arms out bouncing off the ropes, chest first. The song continues as he removes his robe and gently placing it outside the ring. He even turns and screams at MARTY the automated official!

He screams through gritted teeth preparing himself for the fight about to take place. After he settles into the corner of his choosing, the song begins to fade and the fog dissipates.

MARTY scoots back and forth on his wheels as Jacoby paces, looking up the ramp, eager to face his opponent!

…BZZZT! In a fabulous hologram projection, we see the AI referee, HoloRef dot Gif project down to the ring!

Spencer looks agitated as he is flanked by by HoloRef and MARTY

HHL: …Wait, I’m confused. Why do we have one competitor in the ring, but two officials?

PIP: There’s only one explanation, Heather! It’s the robot uprising, Heather!

Spencer starts yelling at HoloRef angrily… As behind him… MARTY’s head pops off.

And underneath…


HHL: Aha! The master of mastering your mind came to the ring, disguised as MARTY!

PIP: …Oh. Yeah. I guess it could be that, too.

Mastermind gently sets the head down against the mat, so as to not alert his opponent…

Jacoby is still yelling at HoloRef as she calls for the bell!

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

Jacoby squints confused, clueless as this stupid ref just called for the bell when his opponent isn’t in th-

CLUTCH! From behind, Mastermind locks in the Mind Sleeper! Spencer’s throat is caught like a vice in Mastermind’s bicep…

Spencer tries to lean forward, shocked by the ambush!

But Mastermind kicks in the back of his knee! Spencer starts to drop…

And like a cobra, Mastermind hops around Spencer’s torso and wraps his legs around his opponent’s waist.

HHL: Holy COW, Pip! This is just about the worst spot you could be in against an opponent like Mastermind!

PIP: Absolutely, Heather. It’s already difficult to fight an intellectually-deft adversary like Mastermind when you’ve got full mental faculties. Spencer now has to fight off a ring-smart opponent, while receiving limited oxygen to his brain!

Spencer paws, scratching desperately at Mastermind’s arm…

But his clawings get weaker and weaker…


…Until his arms drops to the side.

HoloRef, because she is not solid, but is made of light and imaging software… has to have a ring crew member lift Spencer’s arm…

It’s lifted…


It’s lifted again!


Mastermind squeezes down on the throat as tight as he can…

The ring crew lifts Spencer’s arm…


His fist tightens! Mastermind’s eyes widen, as he tries to close Spencer’s airway even tighter…

But Spencer heaves his right shoulder to the left… And MUSCLES himself into a roll!

HHL: Wow! Incredible strength on display by Jacoby Spencer, heaving himself and Mastermind out of No-Man’s Land.

Mastermind tries to keep the vice grip tight as the two roll… BUT SPENCER HOOKS HIS ANKLE ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Immediately, above HoloRef Dot Gif’s head, the number 1 appears.



Mastermind releases the hold!

HHL: Wise move on the part of Mastermind breaking the hold early. HoloRef is using a finely-tuned chronometer hooked up to the Hubble telescope, there’s no space to argue whether or not her five-count is off!

Spencer is on the ground, hacking up a lung, as he can finally breath once more… Until…

WHAM! Mastermind delivers a stomp right to the side of his stomach! Another!

Jacoby, still near the ropes he grabbed to escape the Mind Sleeper, lies on the mat, as Mastermind grabs those ropes for leverage and presses his boot INTO SPENCER’S THROAT.

Spencer’s feet kick wildly, trying to reduce the pressure Mastermind can apply to the throat.

Once more, the number appears above HoloRef’s head… 1!



Again, Mastermind releases the ropes.

PIP: Mastermind knows the rules to the letter and he knows exactly how far he can bend them without a DQ. A man after my own heart.

Mastermind drags Spencer’s by his long, black hair to the center of the ring… He scoops Spencer into the air… SCOOP SLAM ONTO JACOBY’S BACK!

HHL: Mastermind started off this match with an ambush that threw Spencer into a DEEP disadvantage. And MM has done everything in his power since then to stay on Spencer and prevent him from recovering!

PIP: Like we said at the start, Heather. Spencer is a rookie in the XWF. He’s an unknown quantity. Better to beat him quick than have to learn his tricks…

Mastermind moves to the turnbuckle and starts climbing the ropes…

As he gets one foot on the middle turnbuckle and one on the top, he checks his opponent and sees Spencer starting to stir…

With less time to strike than he originally calculated, Mastermind thinks better of a high-risk top-rope assault, and opts to stand the middle rope…

HHL: Very careful calculation by Mastermind

He propels himself forward!

MIDDLE-ROPE CLOTHESLINE! Like a linebacker, Mastermind PLOWS through Spencer, just as His GREATNESS gets back to his feet!

MM hooks the leg! HoloRef counts!



THR-Spencer’s should shoots off the mat!

HHL: Incredible fighting spirit here by Jacoby Spencer! A lesser man could not have dug deep enough after the beatdown MM has put him through thus far.

PIP: I mean, a punching bag can take a beating all day. Gotta give as good as you get to win matches. Spencer has done a lot of getting, but hasn’t gotten Mastermind once!

It’s clear on Mastermind’s face that he initially anticipated a shorter match… He seems somewhat frustrated with his opponent’s fortitude.

He scoops Spencer into a side-headlock! He points forward…

HHL: Looks like MM is going for a running bulldog…

Mastermind runs forward… But Spencer pushes Mastermind forward and slides out of MM’s grip!

Mastermind puts on the brakes and spins back toward his opponent… Just in time to catch a kick to the ribs from Jacoby Spencer!

Mastermind doubles over but doesn’t drop off his feet…

PIP: Gonna take more than one kick to take a veteran like Mastermind off his feet…

Spencer bounces back against the ropes, aaaaaaaaaaand STEP-UP ENZIGURI!

A sickening crack! Mastermind drops onto his back!

HHL: …Guess it’ll take TWO kicks!

Mastermind scrambles, albeit a little woozily back to his feet, but Spencer meets him with a front-facelock… SNAP SUPLEX!

HHL: Wow! No easy feat to do that to a big guy like Mastermind!

Spencer rolls into a cover! HoloRef counts…




HHL: Somehow, Mastermind keeps the fight going!

Spencer looks up at the official. She verifies the count was just short…

In the very brief window Spencer takes his eyes off his opponent, the New Zealander rolls under the bottom rope, landing feet-first to the mat outside…

PIP: Mastermind making a strategic retreat to regain control of his match…

MM catches his breath, calculating his next move, as Spencer turns around and sees him outside the ring…

Spencer hits the ropes, rebounds off… Just as Mastermind starts to turn around…


Mastermind gets knocked back, his head RRROCKED against the steel barricade! Spencer springs back to his feet and screeeeeeeeams! The crowd screams with him!

HHL: Looks like Spencer *can* give just about as good as he gets!

Spencer scoops Mastermind up by the scruff of his neck and rolls him back inside the ring…

MM dazily works his way up to his hands and feet… As Spencer slide in after him… Spencer screams once more, possibly signaling for the end…

Spencer goes to lock-in his Peruvian Ne-

ALL AT ONCE, MM springs to his feet and latches onto Spencer’s neck! RKO FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!

Spencer’s body ragdolls as it bounces off the mat!

HHL: Spencer maybe spent a little too much time screaming there. He thought he had the match won, might have not expected that MM trademark.

…MM looks exhausted but smiles with relief.

He scoots backwards over Spencer and hooks the leg…

HoloRef counts!




Spencer shoves himself off the mat! Literally a split-second before the three!

Mastermind’s confident smile dissipates in shock! The crowd cheers!

HHL: Wow! Incredible toughness by Jacoby Spencer!

Mastermind checks with the official, sticking up three fingers… Holo-Ref runs 5000 replays simultaneously off her hard drive. Across all of them, still just a two-count.

Mastermind shakes his head… Spencer is still on the mat. Mastermind signals for the end! THE MIND CONTROLLER BOSTON CRAB!

MM grabs Spencer by the legs and tries to turn him over… But Spencer resists!

MM tries to twist him the other way… Spencer finds a way to keep himself out of the hold!

PIP: I’ll give it to Spencer, he’s fighting with all he’s got, but MM has him right where he wants him!

MM bends over to get additional torque on Spencer’s legs… AND THAT’S WHEN SPENCER SPRINGS FORWARD… He wraps his arms around MM’s throat!

HHL: He’s looking for the Jacoby Special! The Peruvian Necktie!

Mastermind’s face turns in purple (in both shock and lack of oxygen) as Spencer hooks the guillotine tighter… He heaves a leg over MM’s back and bridges backwards!

But Mastermind drives his shoulder forward! Still in the hold, Mastermind shoves Spencer’s shoulder against the mat!

HoloRef counts, as Spencer squeezes…





Spencer hears the bell ring and is confused. What happened?

In the confusion, Mastermind wriggles out of the hold and quickly rolls under the bottom rope!

HHL: …Well, not exactly the most dominant showcase, Pip. But you have to hand it to Mastermind. That pinfall counter to the Jacoby Special was genius!

PIP: No doubt, Heather. You have to remember, winning the whole tournament means beating FIVE opponents this year. You don’t get anything extra for stylish wins. Mastermind saw an opportunity to take a win. That’s one down, four to go.

Mastermind backs up the ramp, smiling, but clearly somewhat surprised by how close he came to a loss.

Meanwhile, HoloRef is showing a replay of the end of the match to Spencer… Who is gritting his teeth, seething with rage…

HHL: Probably not the XWF debut Spencer had in mind, huh, Pip?

PIP: A debut is just one match, Heather. Spencer turned some heads, impressed some fans, and took a long time XWF competitor to his very limits! I’d be surprised if these two didn’t throw hands again… AND SOON!

HHL: Wise words, Pip. There may be more to these two competitors facing off in the future, but for tonight, Mastermind leaves the victor and moves on to March Madness Round 2!


"Sick Carnt" by Lil Sick plays

The crowd pop as Noah Jackson strolls lazily from the back and basks in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward and glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.


Until he reaches the apron where he gracefully rolls under the bottom rope and goes straight to the corner continuing his motions and then chants until his music is rudely cut off.

"The In-Between" by In This Moment plays

Jenny Myst skips to the ring.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

After weeks of defending the X-title, and the brutal match on Anarchy, Jenny’s body was worse for wear. Noah was fresh as a daisy and hopping up and down in the corner, Jenny could barely pull herself into the ring.

The bell rings, and Noah charges like a wild man out of the corner. He collides with Jenny, knocking her back into the corner and begins to fire off a series of chops and body shots to the injured body of Myst. Jenny covers up. Noah grabs her by the wrist and whips her into the far turnbuckle. Myst winces when she collides with it, and stumbles out to the middle of the ring where Noah hits a DDT. He plants Myst and begins to tell about how she’s a cunt and this will be easy work.

PIP: Myst just doesn’t look the same right now. The X-Treme title reign has clearly taken a lot out of her. She usually comes out full of piss and vinegar but right now she just seems so……bland.

Heather: She’s clearly not herself right now. We were looking forward to a great match but unfortunately, this one could get ugly quick.

Noah doesn’t pin her but rather picks her up by her hair. He stands Myst on her feet. He delivers a snap-mare suplex without the bridge. Coming off the ropes he goes to end it with the worlds sickest moonsault, trying to make quick work of the injured champion.

Jenny moves.

Noah lands on his midsection, and holds his ribs as Myst uses the ropes to pick herself up. She just stands there, looking dejected. She just stands there, looking at Noah with a frown on her face.

Noah gets back up and looks at her, laughing and pointing. Myst looks as though she is about to cry. Noah goes for a spinning heel kick, but Myst, as if she suddenly woke up, lifted his leg and lifted him over her head. She dropped him face first into the turnbuckle. He bounces off, holding his face. When he stumbles back to her, she hits a belly-to-back suplex which plants him in the center of the ring. Instead of covering him, though, she rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair.

PIP: What is she doing? Does she know this is NOT x-treme rules anymore?

Heather: She’s all over the place, Pip. Sad one minute, into it the next. She’s not in her right mind and I don’t think her heart is in it.

She grabs the chair and folds it. The ref is out of the ring now, too, and he grabs the chair.

“HEY! HEY!, NO!”

She wrestles with the ref for a moment, and that buys Noah some time. He runs and baseball slides into Myst, bringing incidental contact with the chair that collides with her face. She is down on the outside. Noah is now out of the ring, as well, but then his eyes light up like a lightbulb. He rolls back INTO the ring, and lays across the middle rope, looking at his cuticals.

The ref counts.






Myst is stirring.



She’s back up, but wobbly.



With a last second burst she rolls into the ring to break the count, but then right back out again once she breaks it.

She grabs the chair again, and slides into the ring.

Pip: Ummm, what the hell is she doing?

Noah gets down from the middle rope. He walks over to Jenny.

“Da fuck ya doin, ya cunt! You can’t use that!”

Jenny just stares at him with a deranged look.

“HEY! Ya heard me, ya titless cunt?! You. Can’t. Use—”


Jenny turns and smacks the ref in the head with the chair!!!!! Noah stands wide eyed!

Heather: It’s any kind of match you want when there's nobody to enforce it!

PIP: Cheating! She’s cheating!

She grins a big grin. Noah backs up, his hands up. Jenny keeps walking towards him with a devilish grin. Noah’s back is up against the ropes. He’s trapped. Jenny swings the chair, and Noah ducks out of the way just in time, rolling to the outside.

“YA CRAZY CUNT!” he yells, shaking his head and walking around the ring as Jenny stands in the ring with the chair.

Another ref runs down to the ring.


Jenny bends the chair over his head, too.

Noah is trying to get back into the ring, but she swings it at him every time he does.

Pip: What the hell! This is a damn March Madness match, and she’s sabotaging it! Someone get down here and take that chair away from the woman!

Three refs make their way to the ring, and slide in. Jenny backs up into a fighting stance, ready to strike. Noah comes up from behind, and rolls her up while she’s focused on the refs.





And, she dropped the chair in the process.

She pops up and Noah hits a standing drop kick. She bounces off the ropes and goes for a flying forearm but Noah ducks, going for the DOWN THUNDER (Michinoku Driver).

Jenny counters this, however, and lands on her feet. She bends Noah backwards and gets him in position for Myst Opportunities (Sister Abigail). He fights his way out of that and twists her into position for a DDT, but she shoves him off. He comes off the ropes and drives a knee to her face, knocking her down. She rolls off and bounces up. He chops her in the throat and whips her off the ropes. She ducks his clothesline attempt and comes back off the ropes the other way. He catches her, and spins her into a wheelbarrow pump handle slam. She’s down again, holding that bad back.

PIP: Noah is dominating this match when it's not Jenny’s rules, which are none. Has she gotten an offensive move in outside of trying to cheat?

Heather: She’s broken and beaten down, this run has taken a roll on her. Honestly, for her health, the best thing that could have happened was losing that belt!

PIP: Yeah, but on Anarchy? Really? Come on.

Noah doesn’t cover again, but instead picks Jenny up by the hair again. He fires a hard shot to her face and she laughs. He punches her again, and she laughs again. He goes to punch her a third time and Jenny hauls off and kicks him square in the nuts. His eyes cross as his hands go to his junk!


The refs are still out there, and the one in the ring calls for the bell.

Heather: Myst just got getself DQ’d, ON PURPOSE!


She rolls out of the ring and shoves Tig’O’ Bitties off her chair and snatches her microphone as well as taking her chair.

She rolls back into the ring.

Noah, wincing and still holding his junk. Jenny sizes him up.


The bell is having a seizure as she yells for Noah to get up.

He does, and turns around.


She folds the chair over his head.

She takes the chair to his downed body.





She drops the chair and picks up the mic.

JENNY: “Keep your belt, keep your tournaments, keep your briefcases. Have fun next week, Noah, and good—-”

She kicks him hard in the ribs.


She kicks him hard in the face, drawing blood from his nose.


She drops the mic, standing over a bleeding Noah Jackson.

Pip: Myst got herself DQ’d on purpose because she’s a sore loser. She is no longer X-Treme champ, this wasn’t a hardcore match, and Noah had a beat on her for the tournament. She took the easy way out, as usual!

Heather: Did she? This whole time I thought Myst lost her luster, her direction, her purpose in life. I thought she didn’t know how to fight if she wasn’t X-Treme champ……..but she knew what she was doing all along. She may no longer legally be the “Queen of X-Treme”, but I think we’re only seeing the beginning of the wrath of Myst!

"Young Men Dead" by The Black Angels plays

The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

As Young Men Dead blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.


"Legend" by The Score plays

"Legend" hits the P.A. system and the lights dim, save for a lone, golden spotlight centered on the stage. A thin layer of fog floats across the stage, and Jay Omega struts out to the top of the ramp. Omega stands on the stage for a moment with his arms spread and a cocky smirk on his face, then casually makes his way down the ramp, crossing back and forth to slap hands with fans. At ringside Jay hops up onto the apron, then vaults over the ropes before crossing the ring and climbing up to the second turnbuckle. Omega poses for the crowd amidst a flickering strobe effect from thousands of cameraphone flashbulbs, then backflips off the turnbuckle and casually leans back into the corner to await the bell.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

PIP: Well, folks, here he is, the King.

HHL: I'm getting goosebumps. Bobby Bourbon is trying to win March Madness for the second year in a row.

PIP: This man's ego is out of hand, especially after the stunt he pulled at Snow Job.

As Young Men Dead blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.


"Legend" hits the P.A. system and the lights dim, save for a lone, golden spotlight centered on the stage. A thin layer of fog floats across the stage, and Jay Omega struts out to the top of the ramp. Omega stands on the stage for a moment with his arms spread and a cocky smirk on his face, then casually makes his way down the ramp, crossing back and forth to slap hands with fans. At ringside Jay hops up onto the apron, then vaults over the ropes before crossing the ring and climbing up to the second turnbuckle. Omega poses for the crowd amidst a flickering strobe effect from thousands of cameraphone flashbulbs, then backflips off the turnbuckle and casually leans back into the corner to await the bell.

PIP: Jay Omega seems unfazed by King Bourbon.

HHL: He'd better, because Bobby can smell weakness from a mile away.

PIP: Bobby insists on himself.

The referee gives instructions to both men, and calls for the bell.

PIP: And our semi main event is underway! The final match of the first round of March Madness at tonight's Warfare!

Bobby and Jay go to tie up! Bobby presses his size advantage and backs Jay into the corner! Nothing comes of it, and the referee steps in to break them up and reset! Bobby backs off, sneering at Omega. Omega steps out of the corner and both men circle each other as the fans are on their feet. Omega holds his hand out.

HHL: Is he serious? Bourbon is one of the most ruthless men ever to set foot in a ring!

Bobby smirks and chuckles, his hands on his hips.

PIP: Jay Omega may have honor but no way does…

Bobby reaches out and grasps Omega's hand, and in a show of respect both men shake. They step apart and tie up again! Bobby transitions into a hammerlock, cinching it in. Jay Omega with a back elbow, and the transitions into a wristlock! Bourbon counters the wristlock into an arm wrench! Omega vaults the arm wrench and upon landing delivers a clothesline to Bourbon! Bourbon releases the arm and ducks, grabbing Omega from behing, hoisting him for a belly to back suplex! Omega rolls through and lands on his feet behind Bobby, putting in a rear waistlock! Both men approach the ropes, and Bourbon grasps the top, holding on and rearing back, sending Omega tumbling back! Omega stands strong as Bourbon turns directly into a Bring The Thunder, sending Bourbon tumbling out of the ring, but onto his feet! The referee begins their 10 count!




Bobby takes a moment, catching his breath. Jay Omega watches him.




PIP: Wow! Jay Omega finally landing the first blow and it was huge!

HHL: Yeah, but it's going to take a lot more than that to take King Bobby Bourbon down.

Bourbon grips the top rope and plants a foot on the apron, scaling back up. Jay Omega steps back allowing Bobby back into the ring, and Bourbon steps in between the top and middle ropes. Once in the ring he rubs his head precisely where he took Omega's devastating kick. Bobby and Omega close on each other, fists raised. A thigh kick from Jay Omega, another thigh kick from Omega, Bobby with a body hook that moves Omega though. Omega keeps composure as he throws another thigh kick, which Bobby steps into and throws a massive forearm to Omega's jaw, sending him back to the ropes. Bobby steps in, grabs the middle rope, and throws his shoudler into the solar plexus of Jay Omega. Bobby steps back, measures Omega up, and throws a huge back chop, which Jay Omega ducks! Omega shoots to the other side of the ring and bounds off the ropes back at Bourbon! Bourbon uses his side of the ring ropes to generate momentum! Omega leap frogs Bobby as he goes low and both men hit the ropes again! Both men back at each other! Jay Omega soars with a massive flying forearm attempt! He's caught mid-air with a huge Shoryuken Uppercut from Bobby, sending him keeling feet over head backwards and to the mat! Bobby with a quick pinfall!




Omega pivots, and slides from beneath Bobby, throwing a knee at Bourbon's ribs as he does! He spins around to a kneeled position from on his back and throws a vicious nerve strike to Bobby’s neck as Bobby gets up from the pinfall! Omega stands as Bobby is still on his knees, clutching his neck! Omega with a massive shin kick to Bobby’s open chest! Omega with a strong knee lift to Bobby’s face! Omega wrenches Bobby’s free arm, and appeals to the XWF Universe, who is eating up this action! He swings his leg high over Bobby’s head and brinks it crashing back down with an axe kick! He hooks Bobby’s neck and kneels forwards, still wrenching the arm and placing it on the mat!

HHL: This is some innovative offense from Jay Omega tonight, I don’t know that I've seen him ground an opponent like this before, let alone the likes of Bobby Bourbon.

PIP: Bourbon plays a lot of head games, and you know it. Omega saw through it.

HHL: Bourbon is a mad genius, waiting.

Bobby raises his wrenched arm and rolls Jay Omega into a pinfall!



Omega rolls Bobby back into the submission! The referee, still well in position, checks on Bobby.

PIP: Bourbon is running out of gas and that pin attempt burned half his tank!

Bobby rolls Jay Omega back over, this time getting his feet back under him! He hoists Jay Omega, and then racks him across his shoulders! Bobby plods to the ring corner with ill intent, and plants a foot on the middle turnbuckle. He kicks off, and in getting greater air, falls backward with a ring assisted Flatiron! Omega actually bounces off the mat along with Bobby from the insane impact.

HHL: Freakish strength from Bourbon on display again tonight. Jay Omega has traveled space but has he ever experienced that much gravity at once?

PIP: Bobby looks just as winded from that as Omega!

Bobby Bourbon slowly moves on the ground as Jay Omega reaches his arm up, slowly rolling himself over. Both men make it to their knees and are facing one another. Bobby with a forearm to Jay Omega! Jay Omega turns back and faces Bobby, hitting him with a forearm! Another forearm from Omega who stands! Omega nails Bobby with a huge knee, then hooks him into a headlock, pulling Bourbon to his feet! Omega pulls Bobby toward the ropes, and once close enough, bounds off the second rope planting Bobby with a bulldog!

PIP: Interesting variation of the Lockdown from Jay Omega!

HHL: He's covering Bourbon!



Bobby barely gets a shoulder up! Omega slinks back, looking in astonishment at Bobby Bourbon. Omega slowly gets to his feet.

HHL: The look on Omega's face says it all. He still can't believe Bobby got the shoulder up at the last second.

PIP: He's the Grand PooBOB for a reason Heather.

Omega walks over to the ref and is pleading his case that he got the three count while Bobby uses the break in action to slowly pull himself up to his feet using the ropes for assistance.

[white]PIP: I don't know what Omega is arguing about. Bobby got his shoulder up clear as day.

HHL: He did but it was at the absolute last possible second so I can see Omega's gripe even if I don't agree with it in this case.

With Omega's back turned Bobby comes up from behind him and with a closed fist cracks his opponent in the back of the head which sends him stumbling forward a few steps.

HHL: That shot has Omega off balance. This could be just the opening Bobby needed.

Bobby grabs Omega by the head and turns him around before positioning him for the deadly BOBBYBOMB.

HHL: Here we go!

Bobby lifts his opponent up and holds him up in the air, giving the fans what they want.


With Bobby playing to the crowd Omega managed to wiggle his way free and reverses Bobby into a roll up.




HHL: Holy Shit!!

PIP: Get the fuck out of here. No way he pulled that off. This is a travesty.

HHL: It may be but he did in fact pull it off and Jay Omega is moving on to the Sweet 16 of the March Madness tournament.


"Soldier Dream" by Root Five plays

The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.

"Moonlight Sonata (Lacklan Version)" by XWFO$ plays




The lights go out as a red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as a metal version of the Moonlight Sonata plays. Sarah calmly walks out onto the ramp and stops, taking the time to look at the crowd. As the guitars play, she slowly walks down the ramp, careful to avoid the touch of any fans, with an arrogant sneer on her face. As she approaches the ring steps, she carefully climbs them before entering the ring. She then climbs onto the closest turnbuckle and sits on top of it, waiting for the match to proceed.

March Madness Round Of 32 Match

- vs -

PC: Heather, when the XWF selection committee paired these two names at random, the entire pro wrestling universe nearly came unglued.

HHL: This is a dream match, Pip. Sarah Lacklan and Riaon Kido. Two former Universal Champions. Two of the biggest names in pro wrestling!

PC: Absolutely. We’re essentially getting what should be two number-1-seeds, or a potential March Madness finals matchup, and we’re getting it right here, right now, in the round of 32!

The bell rings

Lacklan and Kido begin to size each other up, easing out of their respective corners and shifting their feet from side to side as they slowly work toward the center of the mat.

Kido gets things started, a strong lariat blasts Lacklan to the mat, and he quickly moves her up, plowing her down again with a german suplex. Lacklan winces and grabs at her neck, as Kido takes control of the match early.

He whips the former Anarchy commissioner into the corner and follows up with a running high knee, and before she even has time to fall, he’s spun and connects across her chest with a strong discuss clothesline.

HHL:Sarah Lacklan is known for being at a strength disadvantage in most matches, but especially tonight, against the Lion, it’s really on display.

PC:Riaon Kido is one of the strongest wrestlers in the XWF… you know, because of the steroids and all

HHL:Kido is definitely NOT on steroids.

PC:Mhmm, sure…

A running shotgun dropkick levels Lacklan and whiplashes her out of the corner where she tumbles violently to the mat.

Kido goes for an early pinfall



Kido knows it’ll take much more than that to put a wrestler as seasoned as Lacklan down for the count, but it was worth the try. He grabs Lacklan up under her armpits, but before he can move in with anymore offense, an open hand palm strike catches the Lion leaving him momentarily stunned before.


PC: Those patented kicks from Lacklan. Some of the most viscous in the business.

The blows from Lack’s thick legs to Kido’s stomach have him reeling and now he’s tumbled back to the center of the mat, falling on his rear. Lacklan hollers out and swings her leg again, smacking Kido in the lower back just as he turns to try and crawl. The blow sends pain shooting up his spine, causing him to holler out as he continues trying to crawl away. Another stiff kick to the ribs derails Kido’s journey toward the corner, and now he’s at the edge of the ring draped over the bottom rope.

Lacklan notices the position, and makes a quick run to the opposite ropes, she gains a nice bit of momentum and runs back to the ropes where Kido is draped. Lacklan jumps up on the middle rope next to him, then makes an intentional fall on the bottom rope, causing it to lash up into the Lions throat, leaving him gasping for oxygen.

Lack goes for the cover.



Lacklan backs away from the spot of the pinfall with a smirk, but quickly moves back in with a tackle just as Raion gets on his rear. She mounts him and sends a series of elbow strikes that Kido absorbs with his forearms. His strength advantage again coming into play, Kido flips Lacklan over and locks in a dragon sleeper. Sensing the move, Lacklan’s hands were already in position to put space between Kido’s bicep and her throat. And now as he tries pulling back, his leg wrapped around her waist, the two being rolling toward the bottom rope.

Lacklan grabs the apron and pulls herself down to the floor, using the ropes to break Kido from her body. The stadium stands and applauds the efforts of these two megastars thus far as this matchup appears to be very evenly contested. On the outside, Lacklan gains her barrings as the ref begins a count..


But before he can get any further it’s Kido out on the apron he takes off running toward Lacklan who turns around just in time to eat a diving battering ram! Both wrestlers falls to the floor as the count starts again



Kido is already back to his feet and moving back toward the apron… but the resilient Lacklan has also recovered quickly. A fierce kick to the back of Kido’s knee stops him in his tracks and has him crippling over.



Before he has any time to fall to the floor, Lacklan has Kido locked in a bearhug from behind and begins cracking Kido in the back of the skull with a series of headbutts. Kido’s head lashes back and forth, and quickly Lacklan turns Kido around and plants him on the floor with a snap suplex.



Lacklan is up and slides under the bottom rope, as the ref continues his count on Kido






9 ½…!!!!!


HHL: Sarah Lacklan is a crafty veteran, and almost defeated one of the best wrestlers on the planet with a count out!

Kido’s save is short lived once he slides into the ring, as Lacklan stomps on his right elbow, then walks around and stomps on his left elbow, and left hand. The Lion screams out as Lacklan continues around his body, softening him up.

A stomp to the knee!





PC: Unbelievable craftiness there from Lacklan!

HHL:Sensing the Atomic Thunder coming, she grabbed the ropes and pulled herself out onto the apron before Kido could connect.

Kido charges the ropes again, but Lack already has a kick coming through the ropes that catches Kido’s mid section. As her begins to fall over, Lacklan grabs his arm from the apron. She pulls him close, and snaps the arm over her shoulder as she plants her booty onto the apron. Kido is in a tremendous amount of pain, and appears to be on the verge of losing this match. The effort has clearly taken a lot out of Lacklan who is sweating heavily. She climbs back up to enter the ring, and somehow, Kido has shows an amazing ability to recover as he’s waiting to welcome her with another battering ram!

The move halts Sarah, pinning her into the ropes, where Kido, still reeling from the trademark armbreaker, uses his good arm to run Lacklan headfirst into the corner. Throttled and dazed, Lacklan finds herself being turned around, and with every ounce of strength Kido has left, he lifts her up onto the top rope. The lift took a lot out of him as he gathers his breath for a moment.

Suddenly, something begins getting the crowd stirred up…

The cameras move to the XTron where we see…

PC: Dolly Waters?! This is a MOST pleasant surprise, but what on earth is she doing out here?

HHL: Dolly has history with both Kido and Lacklan, Pip, and has spared no words ESPECIALLY for Lacklan since losing the tag championships at SnowJob to team HSU.

Dolly Waters limps down the ramp, still bruised from her contest with Isiah King earlier in the night, and starts walking around the ring. Keeping a close eye on the action.

Kido as he climbs up the turnbuckle, nor Lacklan who is out of it sitting reversed on the turnbuckle, has noticed Dolly.

Kido grabs Lack around the waist…


The top rope release german suplex sends Lack smashing to the mat, flipping backward on her neck. The devastating move surely signifies the end. Kido darts in for the roll-up cover…






The amazing punch blasts Lacklan right in the heart, and Kido goes for the pin near the ropes!





HHL: Dolly Waters just kneed the ref in the back of the head!

Kido is confused, he has no idea what’s happened, he breaks the pin and looks up to see Dolly standing in the center of the ring taunting him!

Kido is furious. He’s up and charges after Dolly.

She takes off running to the ropes, it looks like she’s about to make a quick exit…


The springboard european uppercut lifts Kido from his feet, and plants him on his back in the center of the ring. The crowd is booing, throwing trash in the ring.

Lacklan is to her feet now, a look of shock and confusion washing over her face. She limps over to Dolly. The two exchange some words that the camera doesn’t pickup before…

A pair of smiles!

Dolly and Lacklan bump fists, the crowd boos louder. Each of them takes position on either side of Kido; it looks like they’re about to set up for a pair of stereo shining wizards!

Kido is wobbling up to one knee.

Lacklan takes off

Dolly takes…



Waters tries to break free

The commotion distracts Lacklan.


Buster Gloves pulls Dolly out of the ring and the two begin brawling.

A completely depleted Kido drapes an arm over Lacklan just as the ref crawls over to count







HHL: What an INCREDIBLE main event. Despite some attempted outside interference Raion Kido has captured the last remaining spot in the Sweet 16. For those of you at home an updated bracket will now appear on your screen while those in attendance get to see it on the XWF tron. We will see you all next week from the Alamo Dome in San Antonio!

PIP: From all of here at Weekend Warfare, thank you and see you next time!

HUGE PREESH to the following match writers and those who sent in segments:
Chris Page
Jenny Myst
Bobby Bourbon
Kieran King
Dolly Waters
Thaddeus Duke
Peter Vaughn
Mark Flynn

[Image: XCwEiv2.png]
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[-] The following 12 users Like Theo Pryce's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (02-11-2023), Atticus Gold (02-12-2023), Chad G.P.T. (02-11-2023), Charlie Nickles (02-12-2023), Dolly Waters (02-11-2023), Kieran King (02-12-2023), Ned Kaye (02-12-2023), Raion Kido (02-12-2023), SBW-SmokingBobWilliams (02-12-2023), Thaddeus Duke (02-12-2023), The King's Court (02-11-2023), Thunder Knuckles™ (02-11-2023)
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman

XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)

02-12-2023, 12:48 AM

Lacklan got got! Damn it! I was going to get her! Fucking Christ....I guess Kido really has a thing for blowing out all the blonde bitches I hate!

[Image: 27J5l3J.png]
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Raion Kido Offline
The Lion


XWF FanBase:
Families & Kids, casual fans

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)

02-12-2023, 03:37 AM

(02-03-2023, 01:09 PM)Lacklan Said: “Ruby. Fuzz. Noah. Bourbon. The only people to send me to the Loser’s Window, and they have earned my respect because of it. Does Kido have the ability to be counted in their number?”

“After tonight, what shall the answer to that be?”
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