"I think we're lost.." The shorter and rounder of the two male friends stops as his arms lift and flop back to his sides. "Let's turn back."

Turning to face his friend, both were strapped with very little gear. They were dressed in dark clothing as the taller and skinnier of the two responds. 

"I can feel it in MY gut, we are close now! I can almost smell the Watermelons!"

Nothing was visible outside of trees and brush that scattered around the obvious wooden area. 

"We probably took a wrong turn.." Looking around, the short and pudgy friend couldn't tell one tree from another. As far as he knew they had completely been turned around. "We should have stayed along the shoreline." Turning and nodding towards the trees, you could see the sparkle coming through from the reflection of the moon on the surface of the water nearby.

Reconfirming his role as the leader among the two. "I came here for Watermelons, Roger! I plan to eat melon.." 

"That does sound nice.. Do you think we'll find them?" Roger asks as he wipes his mouth from the drool that built up just thinking about the juicy eats. 

"I do.."

The chubby buddy couldn't hide his concerns. Roger started pacing. He was heavy footed already and twigs were crying under his loaded step. "I don't know Danny.."

"What's not to know, BESTIE?" Scoffing because he was having to explain it again. "We wanted to find his Undisclosed Treehouse Home! We followed him and he led us to it! Who knew that we would discover that it was down by an actual Bay and there would be watermelons?!"

"Yeah, as far as anyone could tell, he just said Down by the Bay to mess with JPD on twitter!" 

"Right? And we have seen it!" Danny proclaims with pride. "Do you remember how great that first watermelon we took was?"

"Sooooo good! Best watermelon I've ever had!" Roger was a fan.

"We couldn't take but one and…" Danny shivers in the night as the memory plays in his head, his legs literally almost give out. "That high! My gawd that high!" 

"Who knew Watermelons could have magic properties?"

They both let themselves fall into the memory of that first taste. Magical Watermelons? Undisclosed locations no longer undisclosed? Down by the Bay, where the Watermelons grow! Danny shakes off his orgasmic thoughts about fruit. "We are getting more of those melons! Let's go!!"



"I'm not sure why you asked for this match Jace.. As far as you'll tell anyone who will listen, you're a big deal! You have a few titles over in High Octane don't you? I wouldn't know because like most everyone you interact with on social media. Nobody keeps tabs on HOW anymore..

You have to tell people when you are having success! That shit doesn't even get Breaking News by Denzel Porter unless you pass the news to him. For me though? I don't self promote often but you sure as fuck found your way to go live after my match at CCPE vs The World! You just had to get my attention..

So, again, I don't understand why you asked for this match but I am beginning to paint a picture as to why you wanted it. 

How long have you been back into the full schedule? In that time you have become increasingly interested in me. 

I could start with the tattoos. You saw me get them and ta da! You have a full set as well! People get tattoos though so maybe it IS a coincidence. That seems like low hanging fruit but I expect you will take a few shots at petty topics so let's get to it.. 

How about my Cashe-isms? You've been my biggest fan! Hell, you even found yourself a Best Frenemy because me finding one in Sloane just drove you to have that same need.. Has Kat even called you hers though? Didn't you buy her a bakery and she hasn't called you her Best Frenemy?

Ouch. That must TRUly suck!

Don't get me started on Sloane. I feel you probably should have been served a restraining order or unalived for that situation but again, I won't dive into that. No need. You being labeled A creep isn't new to anyone unless they met you last week.. 

You sell having this flex, this clout but Mike Best isn't around to carry you on his nuts or help make HOW relevant and without him? You're out joining places like Uprising to get noticed but that doesn't provide anything for anyone other than drama within yet another promotion… Is there a trend forming? You were in Uprising for all of a month before people caught issue with you! OCW ended for you much the same, didn't it? Not your fault though, you're just the common denominator in both situations right?

Now, you could argue that you are more successful than I am right now. Titles, an LFL Franchise, a relationship that nobody else was chasing to be a suitor for.. You should feel high on your own supply but the problem with that is that the supply runs out. It did for Tony Montana but you are no Scarface so to give you a more relatable comparison, the self high supply ran out for Ted Bundy as well.."


"So, now that it's official. Who you got?" The friend who doesn't skip many meals, Roger, whispers to Danny as they trek through the wooded area now closer to the Bay's shore front. "Cashe or JPD?" 

"Cashe has made some adjustments lately and has picked up some wins. He has that Xtreme Title match in XWF soon as well but this is a match that favors his style more.."

A snap of branches, the hoots of an owl somewhere in the distance. They heard the sounds of the wild at night and at times it felt as though they were being watched but their conversation continued.

"That's true but Jace has two Championships! He shook the foundation of Uprising and is considered a problem for any level of competition or promotion. Hard to pick against him, some could argue!"

"Being a problem for people isn't always positive.. So you got JPD?" 

"Oof! I didn't say all that.." Roger contemplates his pick more before adding. "Is this the Jason Cashe that helped beat The Bastards in OCW? The Cashe who won Disavowed in PWValor? Is it Jason Cashe who won the CBS Title in his first singles match in AW?"

Danny laughed. "It's the same Cashe that beat Elijah Martin twice. He beat Bam Miller in a Hell in a Cell recently! Who has JPD beaten recently?" 

The light of his cell phone glows in the face of Roger. "I'll look it up!" Mere seconds pass and he shudders. "Fuck, do you have a signal?"

"No. The area is a dead zone." Taking a single step forward and Danny pauses as he looks between the trees. "Holy shit.. I found it!"

"What?! JPD's match history?" Roger pops with excitement! You can hear his backpack jump around as he catches up to Danny. 

"No, something of actual value! The Watermelons!"

Danny pushes the tree branches aside and together they see what they had been searching for! An entire patch of thick and delicious looking watermelons. "BEAUTIFUL" Roger mutters before flinching and pointing towards the right. "Look.." Both of them pull their attention away from the watermelons and about midway up into the trees. A treehouse home stood. The lights were on. 

"So what? They will have to pry the watermelon from my dead hands!" Danny declares as he steps out into the opening. Roger follows but he is couched and watching the treehouse as they move towards the patch of melons.


"You wanted this match so I'd hope you were doing your homework. I would hope that you aren't scratching the surface and are going to come at me with shit you see on twitter or something from 2017. There are no doubt plenty of topics to cover going that route but is it wise for you? You could mention my girlfriend or past relationships and in truth, I had plans to have Josslynn speak out against you. She declined as did Sloane and a few others.

I could have gone and grabbed numerous people to give statements on what they think about you. I know you say you don't care but it's enough to write a novel and it wouldn't even really take that many people to fill the pages. Who could you get? A Greek hoe turned housewife? We both have foes and friends, plenty who dislike you, dislike me as well but do not think you and I are in the same boat. Hell, we're oceans apart! I'd make cool with those who dislike us before they'd be cool with you.. 

I'm not mad at you though. I don't dislike you even but we aren't friends. I barely paid you two glances back in 2017 but I must have left a branding on your ass because I've been on some Hit List that you made up of people you want to square up with. Fine, cool, let's Scrap up and see some Action take form, I'm all about that! I'll put a lump in your forehead and leave your eyebrows draining..

That's the difference between me and you.. I'll square up with people you want nothing to do with. When my name is said with shade held in hand, I respond. I'll pull up where folks are comfortable because I don't care! You though? Your flex comes with the sliders in settings moved around for your own comfort. In this match, this fight you wanted? The counter button won't appear on the screen."


"Shhhh! Shhh!!" Danny was being loud for a shhher. His head lifted off the ground, it was the only part of him that wasn't lying among the garden of watermelons. "Be quiet, listen.." He pauses as silence falls over the area. "Did you hear that?"

"I can see my thoughts right now.." Roger replies in a lazy drag to his voice. "But I can only hear you, I might be fucked up.."

"You're a DORK but listen!"

The rip of a fart scares off the sounds of nature around them. Laughter erupts soon thereafter showing that these guys were high as the heavens off some watermelon. 

"Hey Danny…" 

"Yeah?" Answering as he brings a chunk of watermelon to his mouth. His eyes staring into the stars as he chews the juicy fruit in smacking form.

"I don't think I can move.." 

"Me neither.."

The sounds of nature take over again as the two lay in silence, watching the star filled skies above. In no time at all, they were asleep. At least 4 Watermelons were harmed during this scene. Magical Watermelons. 


A Few Hours Later…


As the night sky slowly brightened and the morning dew began to cover the landscape, Danny started to groan and move about. His sticky fingers reach up and begin rubbing at his eyes. As he opens them and tries to remember where he was, a scream leaves his soul as he finds someone staring at him, standing over him. 


She almost didn't look real as his eyes squinted and tried to adjust. Something was off as he tried to sit up. "You don't belong here.." Her voice comes out in a whisper as Danny kicks at Roger to wake up. She smiles and glances over at the pudgy friend. He wasn't waking up but before Danny could figure out why, he spotted another figure approaching. It was a man and he was carrying two shovels.

"Is he awake?" The man calls out. Josslynn turns to the sound of his voice with a smile on her face. Danny knew who it was immediately. 

"Cashe? Jason Cashe?! Is that you?" He blurts out. 


Something was definitely wrong. "HOW are they animated?!" He asks himself as he looks down at his hands and finds he was also animated. Panic was starting to set in but before he had a panic attack, a loud thud knocked him upside the head. 

Sighing.. Cashe tosses the shovel back to the ground as he stares down at the bodies. "My Woo Saah.. It appears we have some guests to attend too.."


"The King of Everything. A future Hall of Famer in a world of Cartoon Network quality entertainment. Did your people tell you I spent time in HOW a few years back? You were gone. It was short lived, I didn't stick around after Steve Solex knocked me out.. I was lost in my own head at that time, hell, I went into HOW under the disguise of a masked character! 

JAC The Ripper didn't last and I had yet to really rediscover my motivation so I left. I wasn't ready then. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin but then I started seeing a new generation begin to rise up. New Promotions opening, other promotions reinventing themselves to bring in a new fan base. New challenges that were calling my name and provided a renewed motivation! Something I didn't find in HOW.. You're the King of Everything but how many people are even on the roster over there these days? How valuable is a King to a small Kingdom?

Jace, I am looking forward to this not because of where you come from. Not because of what whooping your ass provides me because you are not ranked high on anyone's list outside of HOW. I am anxious because as you will say and have said before, it's long overdue.

We should have fought back in 2017 or whenever the hell I turned on you in a Promotion versus Promotion match I didn't even want to be a part of to begin with, it was dumb. You were protected then, nobody is going to be protected at Denzel Porter's Invitational. We will have the ring, the backstage hallways, knowing you, the women's bathroom and the parking lot, every inch we fight and you will feel that you've crawled a mile. I asked why you would want this match but I will damn sure make you regret that desire..

I thrive in these moments!

These kinds of matches with opponents like you make me want to find victory because it takes success out of the hands of people like you. Entitled, ego driven, arrogance in abundance, ignorance to your own reflection. You want to be King, I will crack your crown. You can bring your Tag Partner from HOW, maybe get Chris Page to work a co-op.. 

I don't care!

I expect the worst and prepare for the best but I am not going to be in the ring with a man named best.. 

Just the sidekick of one.

See Jace, I have lived through the troubles. Fought back against the heat. Stumbled on my own two feet and took shade at the bottom of the barrel but I didn't disappear! I didn't run away. I stayed inside of a ring, I didn't bide my time and pop up claiming to be the King just because someone better than me is no longer active. You can never be Mike Best nor should anyone want to be.. He's a tool and you look like a damn fool more times than not!

Maybe you feel threatened by me? Maybe you look back and wonder just who would have won then so you seek a result now. Thing is, anyone can get beat.. It's all about the situation and given the one you've found yourself in? Maybe it's about time you get what's coming to you.."



A Few Hours Earlier…


There to spend the weekend. Cashe and Josslynn were in their element. Off into their own world and enjoying each other as they often do. So when they saw these visitors arrive from the thick of the woods.. It changed their plans ever so slightly. 

"Look at these motherfuckers!" Cashe said standing at the window of the Treehouse Home. "Eating up our watermelons like they own them!!" He was bothered and ready to go and stop them. 

"Leave them.." Josslynn's voice came from behind as her hands slid around his waist and he lifted an arm so she could cuddle up against his side. "It's almost morning, let them enjoy the moment!"

"Fine.." He said with a pinch of disappointment to his one word response. "Speaking of moments.." Giving Josslynn a squeeze. "I have decided that I don't want to marry you anymore.."

She shoves herself out from under his arm. Her lips were puckered as she wore this pouting but adorably grrr expression on her face. "What the fuck do you mean, Jason?" 

Smiling, Cashe needed to act quickly or these visitors wouldn't be the only thing that needed taking care of. Being smart, he softly grabs hold of her hands. He tried to make it seem like he wanted to hold them but it was mostly because she might swing. 

"I no longer want to marry you Josslynn, I need to.. After I beat JPD, we should elope, what do you say?" 

Her grrr changed to dowy eyes as she plows into him with a hug. She didn't give him an answer but she also didn't say no. This was technically his third proposal for those that are counting. "Is that a yes?" He wanted to make sure and her response was mumbled as her face was buried into his chest. Kissing the top of her head, Cashe's eyes stare out the window at those who don't belong.


"A lot has changed in the time that we've known each other, Jace. What changes after this match? What do you gain from a win and what will be lost when you lose? I feel a lot of people ask themselves these questions before a big fight. It's a one off and in truth, after this we might never be in the same building together again.. 

I want you to be as good as you claim to be. I want you to come into this match wanting me to Bend a Knee because that is exactly the position I will leave you sitting in. On your knees. Begging or trying to Blow me to get me to stop doing what it is I will be doing to break you down and make it so you don't walk right for a week. 

No, no, it will have nothing to do with your booty. This isn't prison rules but if it was, I'd sell your ass, I wouldn't partake in it. I don't know what you do with your girlfriend or the many DMs you slide into but I don't need to fuck with your butt to make your ass sore in the morning. I wonder if you will add more of these exaggerated reach attempts when we hear from you. I surely hope not but do I expect better? Hardly. 

You like to use surface level insults. Make stuff up, throwing words like shit and hope something sticks. That works with most but I'ma need you to do more! Be the smartest guy in the room or at least put up the attempt to be so. That's who you are and like Holden Ross, you are showing more and more that you are nothing more than the hot breath of someone with herpes. When people like you, like Ross, like Chris Cane and Chris "Twinkie Man" Page are among the names being discussed with value.. The business has gotten so soft that I almost regret getting my front teeth replaced. I almost regret leaving that past life behind because at least then, we didn't cater to the need to be pet types. Like I grew tired of those old ways, I grow tired of seeing so many people wearing kid gloves today.. 

I can't change the world with words but I sure can knock some heads with action and after having my way with you come the DPI Event? You will be grateful that I didn't leave you tied up in a Hotel Room against your will, you To Catch a Predator looking motherfucker! Woooo weeee me beating you will be viewed as social justice, you've been sentenced!"


"Down by the baaaaaay.."

"Where the Watermelons grooow!"

Both Jason Cashe and Josslynn Spencer were on their hands and knees. Doing garden work as they plant some watermelon seeds in a new patch of dirt. Their voices take turns singing the nursery rhyme while giving it a slight twist in the lyrics.

"Come to our hoooome.."

"They should not goooo…."