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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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BIGFOOT'S REAL AND I KILLED HIM
Author Message
CLETUS Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
01-11-2023, 01:50 AM Brick  BIGFOOT'S REAL AND I KILLED HIM -->

Video feed opens with a familiar sight: CLETUS standing amidst the rubble of a torn-apart barn. The remains of destroyed furniture pile up all around. In the corner, however, is the BOOK CLETUS sign. It sits neatly on a chair, untouched and in pristine condition.

"MY NAME'S CLETUS AND I JUST FUCKED YER MA."

Hard cut to Cletus tearing up a dress and chewing on the shredded scraps.

"GOD DAMN IT TASTES JUST LIKE HER! OLD N' FAT."

Another hard cut to Cletus laying on one knee besides the BOOK CLETUS sign, displaying it like an impressive fishing catch.

"Y'ALL SEE THIS? THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS HERE'S PROOF THAT ANARCHY'S FANS AIN'T ALL GLUE-EATIN' DUMBSHITS! JUST MOST OF 'EM. AND Y'KNOW WHAT? THAT FAT BOY WHAT MADE THIS SIGN MUSTA HAD A NICE CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE HE GOT HIS MOTHERFUCKIN' WISH. AS DID OL' CLETUS!"

Hard cut to a classic shot: an extremely uncomfortable closeup of his face.

"I GIT TA BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA BITCH-BOY RAAB."

A cut back to a more normal shot of Cletus standing.

"YOU GOT THE MANSQUATCH COMING STRAIGHT FOR YOUR DUMB ASS, RAAB, AND YOU AIN'T GOT NOBODY TO BLAME FOR IT BUT YERSELF. WE DIDN'T HAVE NO BEEF! SURE, I SLAPPED THE SOUL OUTTA YOU N' PUT YA THROUGH A TABLE, BUT THAT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY SLAP MOUNTAIN GREETING!"

Cut to a closer shot of Cletus, pointing angrily.

"BUT THEN YA HAD TO GO N' MAKE IT PERSONAL, RAAB. YA HAD TO INTERFERE IN MY MATCH, KEEP ME FROM GETTIN' BOOKED. PUT A HARD WORKIN' AMERICAN'S CAREER IN JEOPARDY JUST WHEN HE STARTED IT! YOU DON'T RESPECT US SLAP MOUNTAIN FOLK, RAAB. YER PREJUDICED. YER A GATDAM RACIST IS WHAT YOUR ARE."

The camera cuts again, getting closer to his horrible, horrible face.

"I DON'T ABIDE BY BIGOTRY, RAAB. IT'S UP TO OL' CLETUS TO SET YOUR STRAIGHT AND TEACH YOU TO RESPECT MY CULTURE! BY CRUSHIN' YER BALLS INTO BABY POWDER AND SNORTIN' IT UP."

Cut to a full-body shot of CLETUS, shaking his fist at the camera.

"PRAY TO BABY JESUS WHILE YA CAN, RAAB. 'CAUSE YER DAYS ARE FUCKIN' NUMBERED."

The film suddenly cuts to a cruder camera feed, seemingly a phone camera. CLETUS is holding it, and looking directly at the screen.

"'FORE I SENT THIS OUT I WANNA SAY TO WHOEVER THE FUCK'S BEEN EMAILING ME: QUIT ASKING ABOUT THE APPALACHIAN TIGER. IT DON'T EXIST. THERE ARE NO TIGERS ON SLAP MOUNTAIN AND I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE WHAT THE GOVERNMENT SAYS, I-

The footage abruptly ends.
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[-] The following 3 users Like CLETUS's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (01-12-2023), Atticus Gold (01-12-2023), Finn Kühn (01-11-2023)




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