---

As the show begins, we fade in from a black screen to a familiar sound:

"Ho, Ho, Ho!! Merry Christmas!!"

The picture clears up, with the shot coming down from above, likely using a drone, to show a bearded man moving along a crowd of children, smiling at them. He's dressed fully as Santa Claus, right down to the black boots and fluffy edges of his costume. The kids are all excited, loving to see one of their heroes in action.

Santa Claus: "I've heard all of you have been nice little boys and girls, and I've got everything you could ever want! Let's start handing out presents! Ho, Ho, Ho!"

The kids cheer, as Santa pulls over a heavy-looking bag and starts reaching inside. He studies one gift before handing it to a young girl, grinning at her as she takes it and runs off to open it in secret. A small boy hobbles up, and Santa pats him on the head before pulling out another gift, handing it to him. The kid works to open it, as Santa reaches in for another gift.

Santa Claus: "You're all wonderful kids! Ho, Ho, H-"

The superkick comes in from out of nowhere, catching Santa right on the chin. He goes flying backwards, toppling over the bag, and landing on his back with his feet in the air. The kids all gasp and back up, looking to the side, where "The Mechanic" Peter Vaughn is standing! He glares at the downed man, shaking his head before walking over to him.

Peter Vaughn: "That's for not getting me that Tamagotchi for Christmas that one year. It was ALL I WANTED!!"

Vaughn grumbles to himself, then turns, ready to walk off. He stops in place, though, when he sees all the red, crying eyes of the children scattered around him. The parents, in the background, also look severely pissed off. Vaughn thinks about it for a second, then steps over to the Santa, reaching down and yanking off his artificial beard and holding it into the air. The kids gasp again.

Peter Vaughn: "This man was deceiving you! He wasn't the real Santa! He was a fraud!! I had to take him out!!"

The kids all look at each other in shock. Suddenly, the small boy from earlier steps forward, showing off the present he got: a pair of red socks.

Small Boy: "He gave me this, when Santa should have known that I wanted a Nintendo Switch!!"

Peter Vaughn: "Hah! See? He's a fake! And you know what that means, kids?"

Vaughn kneels down, looking at all of the kids eye to eye.

Peter Vaughn: "That means that he's on the naughty list and deserves to be PUNISHED. Y'know, I bet you he's got some money hidden in that costume there, and who knows, maybe that bag actually has a few good gifts. Why don't you guys all find out?"

The children, now resembling something out of a Stephen King horror movie, slowly advance all around the would-be Santa, who is just starting to come to. He looks around, confused, then appearing more and more terrified as he stares at the young faces all around him.

Santa Claus: ".... Ho Ho Ho?"

With a combined roar, the children all jump on 'Santa', attacking him. As he yells out in fright, Santa disappears underneath the masses, as Vaughn, smirking, walks away from the area. He glances at the camera, giving it a wink.

Peter Vaughn: "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals..."

Vaughn walks off, as the cameras quickly move away from the chaos, focusing on the Santa Village sign instead. We then cut away, heading inside the park, where Heater and Pip are festively dressed, ready for the action to begin.

HHL: Poor Santa!

Pip: He was an imposter, I feel no sympathy for him.

HHL: But there's not actually a real... wait... maybe I'd better be careful what I say.

Pip: Impersonating the real Santa, sheesh, what will people think of next?

HHL: Well, welcome, one and all, to a very special Saturday Night Solstice! This is our last show of the year, with a lot of changes on the way in 2023! But we're ending things with a bang, as three championships will be defended here tonight!

Pip: Including a Universal Title match that we never expected to see! Mark Flynn defending against Atara Raven!! Talk about two legends going at it!

HHL: It's like the XWF just wanted to give away money, but then, this is basically a PPV all on its own, as we'll also see Jenny Myst defending the Xtreme Title and Isaiah King facing his last hurdle as the Television Champion before getting the opportunity to merge the gold with the Supercontinental Title at the last Warfare!

Pip: Don't expect Mastermind or Geri Vayden to make things easy, Heather, as they both would love to have the honor of taking on Ned Kaye as well! It's going to be a war tonight!

HHL: Our Holiday-Themed show is going to be off the charts, as wrestlers compete all over Santa's Village tonight. Anything can happen, and probably WILL happen, so get comfy and get ready for a wild ride!

Pip: I can't wait!! Producers, take us to the first match! Now! NOW!! NOOOOOWWWW!!!!

There is a short delay, almost as if the producers are a bit annoyed at being told what to do... but eventually, we switch over to our first competition of the evening.

---

MAJOR JUNG - vs - JACKI O'LANTERN Flying School Match The match will take place on the sight of the Little Elf Flying School ride. After five minutes, the ride will begin, with the planes swooping down across the field and the competitors will have to duck, dodge and ride the obstacles throughout. Win by pinfall or submission. Savage Rules

DING! DING! DING!


HHL: "We're in for a Christmas themed treat here tonight, folks!"

PC: "Is this Christmas themed? It seems more like chaos themed!"



Jung and O'Lantern stand on opposites sides of the little elf flying school ride. Jung rolls his neck around his shoulders and cracks his knuckles as Jacki walks forward, slowly and cautiously creeping towards the center of the attraction. Once she reaches the middle, she calls for Jung to come meet her.


HHL: "I'm not sure a tie-up is actually in Jacki's favor, because Jung is an incredibly accomplished amateur wrestler!"

PC: "She might have a trick up her sleeve!"

Jung looks disinterested at first, but then he suddenly sprints forward and leaps off the riding cars, before barrelling down towards Jacki! Jung swings out with a double handed fist, but Jacki is able to leap away just in the knick of time!

HHL: "What a hot start from Major!"

PC: "And what quick thinking from O'Lantern!"

Jacki regathers herself and rises to her feet, where she finds Major Jung clapping slowly for her back in the middle of the platform. Apparently, he's impressed with her athletic prowess. Jung motions for Jacki to bring it on, and she cracks a smile before obliging him! She charges with her head down, straight first towards Major Jung- who deftly sidesteps Jacki, and sends her tumbling straight into the ride's control panel! It sparks up instantly, and it looks like it might just be electrocuting Jacki! Jung looks a bit perturbed by the smell and the sound of Jacki being throttled by the control panel.

HHL: "Oh God...this wasn't supposed to happen!"

PC: "Major Jung has a huge advantage now! There's no way he could mess this up!"

Major Jung begins to approach Jacki, but then the control panel suddenly turns the ride on! Major Jung isn't prepared at all for the Christmas-themed fuckery, as airplanes and other parts of the ride seemingly start targeting him! Jung is battered and beaten by the whirling ride as Jacki finally frees herself from the control panel, looking incredibly smoky and incredibly pissed off.

HHL: "I think Jacki has just been supercharged!"

PC: "And the ride has made this into a handicap match! Momentum has completely shifted here!"

Jacki approaches Jung and lifts him up. He tries to slip away, but Jacki hits him with the No Fucks Given (Gotch Style Piledriver) and it knocks him out cold! She covers him up for the pin!


1!





2!




3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Jacki O'Lantern

Major Jung rolls around on the ride in pain as it comes to a sudden stop. Jacki stands up and lords over Jung before screaming excitedly into the camera about her win.

HHL: "Jacki looks like she's been shocked half to death in this one, but she pulled out the big win on the opening match of the last ever Savage!"

PC: "This woman is going places....hopefully to the hospital for starters!"

Paramedics roll on scene to check out Jung and Jacki, who have both been just absolutely fucking thrashed by the environmental factors in this match.

---

Jenny arrives at the makeshift locker rooms set up within Santa’s Village. She didn’t realize it would be this freaking cold! She set her bags down and unbuttoned her bubble coat, setting it on the chair. Her cheeks were still red from the intense chill outside, and she joked in her head that she looked like a little elf with rosy cheeks.

Fuck the elves.

And fuck Santa Claus.

She unstraps the X-Treme title from her waist (yes, she carries it with her under her clothes), and lays it on the chair over the bubble coat. Just as she is about to sit down and relax, her eyes narrow and she gets up, walking to the door. Opening it quickly and sticking her head out, she looks in both directions. Nobody is around. She smiles as she realizes that nobody is trying to sneak-pin her for this belt, and takes a deep breath, chalking it up to 24/7 rule paranoia. She shuts the door and walks back over to the chair, sitting down and stretching her arms.

Reaching for the remote, she clicks on XWF Television. The second match of the night was about to get underway. Bam Miller versus Marf.

JENNY: “Yuck. Whelp, this may be a good time to go get some pre-defense protein! I hope they have pancakes!

OOOOH! SWISS MISS

Yeah….I need that……but there better not be eggnog. God help them if they have eggnog.”

She gets up, stretching again as she walks out of the locker room door and to wherever the wrestler concessions are set up.

PIP: Great idea!! I’m starting to get hungry too!!!

HHL: Well if you are heading in that direction, could you bring me a Tuna Sandwich??

PIP: I thought chicken gave you gas??

Jenny just left when the door opens, only this time we see Goth look inside before entering, he closes the door behind him as he smiles when noticing the belt.

Goth: Well look what Santa has left for me for Christmas, I guess I have been a good boy after all.

Goth grabs the belt and smiles before remembering that Jenny could be back any moment and decides to leave the locker room.

Goth: I am sure you won’t mind if I kept hold of this shiny belt for you champ??

HHL:Uh oh… I don’t think this will sit well with Jenny, especially this close to her title defense!!!

PIP: If I know the champ the way I think I do, there is going to be hell to pay when she returns!

---

Lights in the Sky hits throughout the Merry Mess Hall. Marf makes his way out onto the hall, looking around at the cafeteria and shaking his head in disgust. He marches down the aisle, flipping off the camera as he passes to show how irritated he is.

HHL: I don’t think Marf looks happy to be here…

Pip: I don’t know if happy is the word I’d be using to describe Marf in general, really.

HHL: Fair point, Pip! Have to imagine though that after a Television title challenge gone poor and now looking to be placing some bullseye targets on some other roster members, that Marf is itching to let loose here tonight!

Pip: Maybe he can, maybe he can’t! But standing in his way is going to be…



Pip: …This guy.

Song by Scorpions plays over the intercom in the Merry Mess Hall and Bam Miller walks out through the entrance with a fire in his eyes. He walks down the hall slowly and chugs a Miller Lite beer, before then tossing it over to the trash can in the corner. It clangs loudly against the wall and lands on the floor.

He eyes up Marf as he gets closer to the clearing amidst the seats and tables, but before stepping into the area, he reveals his signature weapon The Brick out of his black leather jacket, and raises it in the air for the people to see. With a smirk, Bam sets it down by one of the tables before beginning to walk over to Marf. On his way, he beats on his chest and uses vulgar language toward the camera. After that, he waits for the match to begin.

HHL: Bam’s got a strong fire in his eyes, and you have to appreciate that much, at least!

Pip: Sure does! He’s got a world of momentum here after pinning Theo Pryce of all people, and Bam’s gotta be looking to build off of that!

BAM MILLER - vs - MARF Holiday Food Fight The match will take place in the Merry Mess Hall, with Christmas-themes dinners and desserts present on the tables. More dishes will be served throughout five-minute intervals. Win by pinfall or submission. 1 RP - Savage Rules

Before the bell properly rings, a row of dishes can be seen being served from the cafeteria and being slid down on the long rows of tables! Marf and Bam both turn their eyes to see the variety of foods being served here!

Stuffed mushrooms!

Pigs in a blanket wreath!

Spinach and artichoke dip!

Cheesy Christmas Tree bread!

And MORE!

Pip: It’s all… appetizers?

HHL: Sure looks that way! Maybe we’ll be seeing different types of dishes after one of the time intervals!

Bam scowls at the variety of foods for them to use, but as he turns back to face Marf, he gets SOCKED WITH A RIGHT HAND!

DING! DING! DING!

HHL: And a sneak attack by Marf gets him the upper hand to start!

Pip: Oooh, I don’t know who I want to win this…!

Bam staggers back from the stiff shot to the jaw, quickly righting himself but only to eat a kick to the gut from Marf now! Marf wastes no time looking to get the food involved, as he delivers to him a belly-to-belly slam on the nearby area of the table that has the stuffed mushrooms!

SPLAT!

Mushrooms and stuffing alike spray and stick themselves onto Bam’s back as he immediately sits up afterwards with a disgusted look on his face!

Bam: God-DAMMIT!

Pip: Poor Bam! He’s gonna have to wash all that off of him!

HHL: I think both of them are going to have to be hitting the showers after this match is over…

Marf goes to follow up on his progress, but Bam quickly cuts him off with a back elbow to the gut! It’s enough for Marf to back up warily, giving Bam just enough time to stand now on the table! He looks around for something for him to start using himself… and he notices the pigs in a blanket wreath! He grabs the tray tightly, and hops off…

DOUBLE AXE HANDLE WITH THE WREATH TRAY ONTO MARF’S SKULL!

Pigs in a blanket go flying almost everywhere! The tray dents around Marf’s skull in a wicked way as he falls onto his knees, CLEARLY having been taken by surprise with that stiff shot!

HHL: Both of these men are wasting no time in trying to use the food to their advantage! Even if Bam Miller looks a bit less than pleased about it all…

Bam takes a minute now to actually scoop up one of the few remaining pigs in a blanket that somehow landed back on the tray, popping it in his mouth! He gives an accepting nod that it’s actually quite good, before turning his attention back to Marf! He takes Swaysons by the head, shoving him back onto the ground of the mess hall!

Marf holds onto his head, taking a minute to himself here. It’s a minute he does not get though as Bam picks him right back up, turning him around and… GERMAN SUPLEX! HE’S TRYING TO HOIST MARF UP-

MARF STOMPS ON BAM’S FOOT!

AGAIN!

AGAIN!

AGAIN!

AGAIN!

Bam releases, hopping up and down to try and nurse that foot, but it allows Marf to grab him by his hair! Bringing him over to another section of the nearby table-

SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

HHL: Bam Miller’s face just got splatted into the spinach and artichoke dip!

Pip: It’s all over the place!

Bam slowly makes his way out of there, heaving and trying to take deep breaths to get the dip out of his nose. He slowly looks up, face painted white with green dots as he wipes the dip out of his eyes to see Marf… bending over and laughing?

Marf: Holy- holy fuck, dude… You should see your face…

Marf is quite literally cackling at the sight - WHICH ALLOWS BAM TO TAKE THE BOWL FULL OF DIP AND THROW IT RIGHT IN MARF’S FACE!

HHL: A RETALIATORY STRIKE!

Pip: They just keep hammering the HELL out of each other with these foods!

Marf gets levelled, his face and body now covered with the dip too! This lets Bam wipe the dip off of his own face, an arrogant smirk on his face as Marf needs to crawl onto all fours to get back up.

Bam: Who’s laughing now, bitch?

Marf: Me… ‘cause you hit like a… like a bitch… Ha-haaaah…!

HHL: I don’t think this is a wise tactic on the end of Marf… he’s clearly rattled from that shot with the dip!

Pip: LOOK OUT, MARF!

The goading statement made from Marf INFURIATES Bam, who responds kindly to Marf with a HARD forearm shot to the back of the head! Marf’s head juts to the floor, but still technically on all fours for the time being. Bam looks to the table again, getting a new idea as he grabs Marf up by the hair and pulling him onto his feet before shoving…

THE CHEESY CHRISTMAS TREE BREAD INTO HIS MOUTH?!

Pip: He’s trying to gag him!

HHL: Can’t Marf just bite down and eat through it?!

Pip: You think he can do that?! Heather, those breads are REALLY cheesy! Just when you think you’ve got it all, you stretch apart that bread to reveal layers upon layers of more gooey cheese! With Bam shoving it in his mouth, Marf needs to try prying that out!

HHL: I don’t think Bam’s going to just be letting Marf do that, though…

As Marf tries to figure out what’s going on through glassy eyes, Bam takes a LARGE ham-and-cheese pinwheel off of the table, unraveling it for his own use! It unfurls…

…

And it’s still going…

…

Still going…

…

Bam: How fuckin’ big is this shit, anyway?

The pinwheel finally comes to its end after it hits the floor and goes past Bam’s feet!

HHL: I didn’t even know they can make pinwheels that big…

Pip: If there’s a will, there’s a way!

Well, picking up both ends of the thick pinwheel, Bam proceeds to start STRANGLING MARF WITH IT!

MARF’S EYES SHOOT UP! HE TRIES SCREAMING AND GASPING FOR AIR, BUT HE CAN’T DO THAT WITH THE CHEESY CHRISTMAS TREE BREAD IN HIS MOUTH!

IN DESPERATION, WITH ONE HAND ON HIS THROAT AND THE OTHER GOING TO HIS MOUTH, HE TRIES TO BREAK APART THE BREAD, BUT IT JUST REVEALS MORE AND MORE THICK CHEESE STRETCHING APART! THERE’S NO ESCAPE FOR MARF!

Bam: TAP OUT, YOU SUNOVABITCH!

MARF REPLIES WITH A GRUNT AS HE CHANGES TACTICS! HIS HAND HOLDING ONTO HIS THROAT INSTEAD MAKES ITS WAY TO THE PINWHEEL, AND USING HIS STRENGTH TO PRY ON IT-

SNAP!

HHL: The ham-and-cheese pinwheel just broke apart!

Pip: Not before doing its damage, though!

Bam looks stunned at the revelation as Marf spits cheese out of his mouth, before driving the back of his head right into Bam’s nose in a reverse headbutt! Marf bends down to scoop Bam up, moving as he does - SIDEWALK SLAM ONTO THE DENTED PIGS IN A BLANKET TRAY FROM EARLIER!

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

A siren is wailing over the mess hall’s intercom system!

Pip: The Hell is going on?!

HHL: It’s the first time interval! Over five minutes have now passed, and we’re going to be getting new dishes!

A series of new dishes start to roll down from the kitchen area!

Roasted honey pears!

Garlic and butter mashed potatoes!

Romaine salad with dressings!

Acorn squash!

Pip: These look like side dishes now… so would entrees be next?

HHL: That would be my guess, Pip.

Marf takes a look at all the new different foods, knowing he’s gotta start getting to work! He brings himself up with a groan, trying to pick up Bam too…

BUT BAM DRIVES FORWARD WITH A SHOULDER THRUST! MARF GETS CARRIED OVER TO THE NEARBY TABLE! He looks stunned, surprised even as Bam pops up now with a right hand right to Marf’s cheekbone that gets him reeling!

HHL: Bam taking it to Marf with some more heavy shots! They’ve inflicted such a massive amount of damage on each other already!

Pip: With these kinds of stipulations, it’s like it’s making it all into a mirror match right now. Just two angry guys who hate each other and everything between ‘em, and wanting to beat the shit out of each other because of it!

Bam tries to set Marf up for a Double Arm DDT, but Marf knows damn well how bad of news that would be! He stomps out once again, and Bam once more has to hop on his foot to get himself moving! Marf turns around, finding what he’s looking for-

AND SPRAYS A HEAPING OF RANCH DRESSING RIGHT INTO BAM MILLER’S EYES!

HHL: NOT THE RANCH DRESSING! That’s burning up Bam’s vision right there!

Pip: Desperate times call for desperate measures…

Bam starts clawing at his eyes, trying to get his vision back! He still has the stomped foot in the air though, trying to get that steady first! Marf sees this, and springs a plan into motion! He takes the romaine salad bowl himself, and slides it down along the ground! And just as Bam places his foot down, he accidentally places it right in the salad bowl!

BAM SLIPS ON THE SALAD! HE TUMBLES TO THE GROUND!

Marf: Fuck me, I’m so good at this shit. How’s that Miller High Life workin’ out for you, buddy?

Bam huffs and puffs on the ground, clearly taken aback by how much has happened in such a short amount of time.

Bam: Eat shit… and die…

Marf: By all means… you first.

Marf goes into action, straining himself as he does so, picking Bam up once more. He boots him right in the gut, bringing him to a front facelock… He’s trying to go for a Perfect Plex right about now!

BUT BAM STARTS PUNCHING HIM IN THE GUT!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

PUNCH!

HHL: Marf’s gut is looking like a punching bag right now with how many heavy fists Bam is crashing into it!

Pip: They’re like mortars, Heather! How is Marf even still standing?!

HHL: He’s still standing, but he’s not looking too good…

Marf breaks up the facelock, bending over and heaving for air as he does so. It’s what instead allows Bam to grab Marf by the arms, moving him over to one of the nearby tables before jumping-

DOUBLE-ARM DDT INTO THE BOWL OF GARLIC MASHED POTATOES!

HHL: DOUBLE SHOT! DOUBLE SHOT! DOUBLE SHOT! Bam Miller just scored big-time here!

Bam’s not done yet, though! The bowl sticks to Marf’s head as Bam places him back onto his feet. He has to actively try to keep Marf from collapsing underneath his own weight, but it turns out to be all the more worth it as he hits a KNEE STRIKE THAT BREAKS THE GLASS BOWL!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

Blood, glass and mashed potatoes fly everywhere! Marf gets utterly laid out by the blow as Bam collapses to his own knees, feeling the pain he put himself through on that shot!

Bam: Sonuva… how hard can one guy’s skull fuckin’ be?

Taking a fingerful of mashed potatoes that made its way to him, Bam gets a small pick-me-up of his own before trying to cover Marf after that short break!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!











TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!











KICKOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!

Pip: How’s Marf still going?!

HHL: That’s pure resilience on display from Marf! We’ve seen it time and time again from him!

Bam looks utterly flabbergasted right now! Trying to figure out what to do, he makes his way to the table and grabs the trays of acorn squash and roasted honey pears, before coming over to Marf’s midsection and DUMPS THE TRAYS RIGHT ONTO THEM! Marf’s body looks like a smorgasbord of different foods right about now, covered up only by the trays -

DOUBLE FOOT STOMP ONTO THE TRAYS! THE FOOD GETS SMASHED INTO MARF’S TORSO!

HHL: Marf’s body is really gonna be all sticky after this match… If he misses a spot in the showers, his covers are gonna be ruined tonight!

Pip: Really makes you wonder what’s going to be coming out ne-

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

A siren is wailing over the mess hall’s intercom system!

Pip: Aaaaaand speaking of the devil…

HHL: The main entrees are coming out!

There’s only two new dishes coming out!

A GIANT roast turkey!

And glazed roast pork - still in the pan with potatoes and green beans beneath!

Bam eyes up both meals, nodding as his stomach growls. Ignoring his hunger cravings, he manages to get up onto his feet as Marf starts stirring once more. He wipes the food off of his face again in absolute disgust, and smears his shallow cuts as well. He takes a look down at the pears and squash, and his face contorts.

Marf: The fuck did you do to me…?

Bam snickers as he’s up on his feet, nodding at Marf as he manages to get back up onto his feet.

Bam: Honestly, I’d say it’s a total improvement on how you look.

Marf gets himself onto his feet out of sheer rage, giving a lunging headbutt onto Bam! Bam’s eyes water as he backs up, and Marf swings again!

WHAM!

Bam’s legs turn wobbly as he goes towards the dinner table! He goes for one more punch -

BUT BAM GRABS THE GIANT TURKEY AND USES IT TO STUFF MARF’S FIST INSIDE OF IT!

Pip: DID HE JUST MAKE HIM FIST A TURKEY?!

HHL: That’s… really not the way I’d describe that, but… it looks like it.

Marf: The fuck is this?!

Bam wastes no time, moving in while Marf waves the turkey around, and nabs off one of the turkey legs! HE BASHES IT RIGHT INTO MARF’S FOREHEAD!

Marf scowls as he’s forced back from the blow, giving a death stare to Bam as he does so! He can’t quite shake the turkey off of his hand yet, but he CAN bring his other hand around and rips off the other turkey leg, before bashing THAT into Bam’s forehead!

HHL: Oh no.

Pip: I think we’re about to see a new spin on a food fight here!

THE TWO MEN LUNGE FORWARD AT EACH OTHER AND SMASH THEIR TURKEY LEGS INTO EACH OTHER!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BASH!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

The clumps of meat start falling off of the turkey legs at this point, and they’re just hitting each other with the bones! Bam Miller goes for one last swing, but MARF USES THE HAND WITH THE TURKEY GLOVE TO PUNCH HIM ON THE NOSE!

HHL: Never in my life would I have thought that I’d be seeing a roast turkey as a boxing glove.

Pip: Only in the XWF, people!

Marf tugs the turkey off of him, throwing it at Bam’s face as he wobbles back from the shot! It allows Marf to tug him over to the center of the mess - PERFECT PLEX ONTO THE FLOOR!

HHL: THERE’S THE ECHOSLIDE! MARF’S GOT ALL THE MOMENTUM RIGHT NOW!

Pip: This isn’t looking good for Bam! C’mon, Bam!

Marf doesn’t go for the pin though, instead the pan with the pork inside! He picks himself up, heading over to it. He geeeeently removes the pork and places it onto the table, before skidding the pan over onto the floor and where he wants it to be!

Marf doesn’t waste a second as he runs into position himself! Hoisting the groggy Bam up, Marf leaps into the air-

CANADIAN DESTROYER INTO THE METAL PAN!

HHL: UNREAL! Bam might have a concussion after Marf hit the Sway on him!

Pip: Is he okay?!

Marf rolls Bam onto his back, seeing his opportunity to get the pinfall!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!



















TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



















THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WINNER: MARF SWAYSONS!

Marf lets loose a victorious cackle, bringing himself slowly up onto his feet and raising his hands in the air after a hard-fought win!

HHL: What a messy… messy war that was between these two men.

Pip: That could have gone either way towards the end. Unfortunately… Miller Time just so happens to be in the Miller Valley right now, and needs a new Miller Genuine Draft so he can reach the Miller High Time again…

Heather, unable to hold it in any more with Pip’s awful jokes, starts cracking up with laughter.

As Pip and Heather continue their discussion, Marf heads over to the still-piping hot roast pork as he yoinks it up with his hands.

Marf: Haaaaah… and so, to the victor goes the spoils…

Marf takes a massive bite of the pork, savoring the juicy meat as he chews on it. He looks back, giving Bam a slight nod for his efforts before walking off to enjoy his victory.

---

Emmanuel D’Monstre is already standing out on the ice, legs wobbly and looking very unsure of himself.



The strong beat of Art of Blade begins to reverberate throughout the park’s PA system. Before long, the sight of the King in Rags, Finn Kühn, comes out to the frozen pool. His gaze is wary, nervous even as he sees his battlefield for tonight.

HHL: Hard to blame both of these men for the way they’re looking right now, considering the stipulations they’re fighting under. Hopefully, Finn can turn around his negative momentum after Bad Medicine around after being robbed of victory and get a win.

Pip: Robbed from victory, Heather? It was a Triple Threat! Finn got cocky and thought he had the match won after nailing Buster, but PETER VAUGHN exposed the truth of the match and was the one who got the victory! It’s easy as that, and Finn should count himself lucky if he’s still in one piece after this before his big Chamber match coming up on Warfare!

His pace as he comes down over the ice towards his opponent is slow, even and measured. As the commentators discuss amidst themselves about recent events and the upcoming match, Finn surveys the area one last time as he steps towards Manny, keeping far better balance than he is right about now…

As Art of Blade reaches its chorus, Finn thrusts his arms up to the air, posing passionately for the camera as afterwards he settles into a game face, staring Manny right in the eye and getting ready for what is to come.

FINN KÜHN - vs - EMMANUEL D'MONSTRE Polar Paradise Match The match will take place on the Polar Paradise pool, which will be completely frozen over. Win by sending your opponent through the ice and into the water below. 1 RP - Unlimited Words

DING! DING! DING!

Pip: Well… here we go.

HHL: It’s a match of unorthodox proportions, that’s for sure. Which one of these men will be ‘taking the plunge,’ as it were?

Finn manages to step across the ice, keeping his balance and his composure steady as he does so. Manny does the same, at a slower pace as he’s wavering. Finn’s gaze looks almost sympathetic, but he doesn’t let his emotions get in the way of what needs to be done as he hits Manny with a quick snap jab!

Jab! Jab! Jab!

And a straight right that hits on the nose!

Manny loses his balance on the ice, falling back right on his backside! He grunts, forcing himself back up onto his feet - BUT FINN SWEEPS THE LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM NOW!

Manny is down on his back, trying to gather himself and get back into this fight before it’s too late… BUT HE CAN’T MOVE IN TIME TO ESCAPE FROM FINN CARTWHEELING ON THE ICE TO HIT A KNEE RIGHT TO THE CHEST! The ice cracks underneath the force of the blow, but does not quite cave!

HHL: WOW! There’s the acrobatic prowess of Finn on display! Manny is getting lit up like a Christmas tree right now!

Pip: He’s gonna have to turn this around, and fast! Talk about a rough start…

Manny rolls over onto his gut, making a great effort in trying to get up. His body is aching and bruised, but he’s not quite completely out of all of this yet. He pushes himself onto all fours-

ONLY TO EAT A DISCUS ELBOW FROM FINN!

HHL: SWAN SONG! That one hit right on the money!

Pip: I don’t think this one will be going on for much longer…

Manny doesn’t quite fall, but it’s clear he’s not far from that point now as his eyes are looking quite glassy right about now. Finn, seeing his chance, grabs Manny by the wrist and carefully glides over to the cracked ice. Setting him up now, Finn keeps a hold of the wrist and takes a running start…

THE KAISER’S DOMAIN RIGHT ONTO THE CRACKED ICE!

A moment passes.

Two moments pass.

The cracks in the ice are getting deeper from the impact. Finn, realizing what’s about to happen, quickly rolls out of the way-

AND THE ICE GIVES WAY! EMMANUEL D’MONSTRE TAKES A DIVE RIGHT INTO THE FREEZING WATERS BELOW!

WINNER: FINN KÜHN!

HHL: A victory in record time for Finn Kühn! What a way to try and right the ship in a much-needed victory for him!

Pip: ‘Much-needed’ is a bit of an understatement, Heather. Considering what happened at Bad Medicine, Finn really needed something to go right here. Though, I doubt he’ll be continuing this streak come the Chamber Match on Warfare…

HHL: Would it hurt you to just give Finn his props for once in your life?

As Pip and Heather argue over commentary, Finn sits up while still on the ice, wiping off the layer of sweat building over his skin. Looking off to his side and into the hole in the water, he sees Emmanuel D’Monstre sloshing and flailing within the water, trying his damndest to escape with his life before it’s too late.

Finn sighs, bringing himself over to the hole and adjusting himself as he mutters, “For the love of God…”

Finn reaches over the hole, grabbing onto Manny and using sheer strength to hoist him out and to safety!!!

HHL: Wow! Finn Kühn just saved Emmanuel D’Monstre’s life!

Pip: Oh, how wonderful…

Manny rolls over onto his back, shivering and curling himself up into a ball as he spits out a near-fountain of water he inadvertently took in while drowning in the freezing water. Medical crews are starting to bring themselves onto the ice as Finn just reaches across and gently pats Manny on the shoulder so as to try and console him while help arrives.

As he does so, however… Finn notices there’s something vibrant out of the corner of his eye - something that was not present there earlier. He turns to look at it -

It’s a pumpkin.

The pumpkin has a Santa hat on it, and there’s clearly a carved groove going across the top, allowing it to be opened. It seems to almost be begging for Finn’s attention as the King in Rags merely squints at it…

Pip: Who the heck managed to get that pumpkin out on the ice unnoticed like that? And why are they suddenly thinking it’s Halloween in the middle of DECEMBER?! What is this, the Nightmare Before Christmas?

HHL: Honestly, your guess is as good as mine, Pip…

Scooting away from Manny as the medical crew starts to try warming him up and getting him onto a stretcher, Finn comes over to the pumpkin. Inspecting it for but a moment, he grabs it by the Santa hat handle, raising it up…


POOMF!


An explosion of Christmas-colored confetti pops out from the pumpkin as soon as Finn opens it! He stares at the pumpkin, unamused as a familiar jingle rings out-



HHL: What a festive message being sent… I don’t think it was meant to necessarily be hostile this time, though.

Pip: Well, someone’s got Finn in their sights! And the Rat King doesn’t look too happy about it!

Grinding his teeth at the irritating display, Finn punches the pumpkin, and all the confetti that didn’t end up sticking to him just a little while ago ends up flying all over the ice alongside the now-split-in-two pumpkin. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas continues ringing out over the Polar Paradise pool as Finn carefully waddles off of the ice, allowing Saturday Night Solstice to continue on…

---

The XWF’s camera’s cut to security, running up the pathways of Santa’s Village. One of them is screaming about needing back up into his earpiece. They both try not to slip on the ice covered road. The camera is trying hard to follow behind, and the camera bounces with every step. There is yelling heard in the distance and a plum of black smoke billowing.

Something was on fire!

The cameraman arrives shortly behind security, who is responding to a distress call from some of the amusement park workers. There was debris all over with several pieces of smashed elves and nutcracker drummers littering the ground.

All of the windows were smashed out of Elf University and there was a cloud of smoke coming from inside the North Bowl cafeteria area. They keep running and we see Jenny, standing outside the Reindeer Carousel holding an aluminum baseball bat.

JENNY: “WHERE IS IT! I’LL SMASH EVERY FUCKING THING IN HERE I SWEAR TO GOD!”

She turns and slams the bat into the side of one of the reindeers in the carousel, knocking its head off and chipping some of the body.

JENNY: “I’ve got all night!”

The trail of carnage has led them all the way to the center of the park. Jenny turns and kicks over a penguin before bringing the bat to a window of the carousel, smashing it to fragments.

She yells out with a banshee cry and leaves the carousel, making her way towards another part of the park.

“Late 20’s, possibly early 30’s female. Having some sort of panic attack. Armed with a bat. Smashing up several areas of the park claiming she is looking for something. Considered extremely dangerous. Do not approach.”

Security along with XWF cameras is following Jenny as she smashes everything in sight with the aluminum bat. She makes her way up the road and over the bridge, towards the Great Humbug Adventure. XWF
fans piled out and back towards where the next match is–at the pool on the other side of the complex.

One of the fans has a replica X-Treme title belt around their waist and Jenny growls, grabbing the fan and throwing them to the ground, spilling their drink.

JENNY: “How dare you! Who the hell do you think you ar—”

She realizes it's a fake belt. Another growl as she tosses the replica. She gets up and walks to the Great Humbug Adventure. She begins smashing ass the red and white striped turtles, and overturning tables and chairs within the establishment.

“We’ve got her cornered in the Humbug adventure….send backup still, but I think we’ve got the threat contained.”

A bunch of security surround the Humbug building, as one of the various X-Tron’s stationed around the premises begins to play the music of the next match.

---

RAION KIDO - vs - HOLDEN ROSS Winter Wonderland Match This match will take place within the Ho, Ho, H2O water park found within the amusement park. The water park will be completely frozen over and caked with thick layers of ice. Both competitors must navigate through the park with only the light of the XWF cameras to find their opponent and defeat them. Anything goes. Win by pinfall or submission. 1 RP, Savage Rules

DING! DING! DING!


We cut to a shot of a split screen, like something you would see if you were playing Call of Duty on the couch with your little brother. We see Raion Kido's immaculate face filling up the top half of the screen, and we see Holden Ross on bottom. Both men are shrouded in frosty darkness with nothing but the light of the XWF cameras illuminating their surroundings. At this point, their breath is more visible than they are: but you can still tell both men are ready to rumble!

HHL: "I'm not sure about this idea...how are the two guys going to find each other in the dark without slipping and breaking their legs?"

PC: "Holden Ross is like a bloodhound for violence, he'll find a way!"

Raion Kido carefully observes his surroundings before he starts walking forward along a snow-covered path. Raion keeps his eye out for an ambush, walking carefully and quietly to ensure that he does not give away his position. Holden Ross, meanwhile, can be seen pounding on his chest and screaming out for Raion Kido! We see Raion's ears perk up, and he turns his head to the side. It seems like Raion also heard Holden calling out for him!

HHL: "That's not very 'bloodhound' like of Holden."

PC: "Every bloodhound is unique, Heather! You'd know this if you weren't such a crazy cat lady!"[/red]

Raion Kido carefully walks over the treacherous grounds as he heads towards the origin of the sound. Holden, meanwhile, is finally quieting down as he starts running ahead, seemingly at random, into the darkness of the park.

HHL: "If Holden isn't careful here he could slip! Notice how carefully Raion is moving on that icy ground!"

Holden Ross continues sprinting atop the ice with no problem: but we see Raion Kido slip and bump his head on the ice, as if he were jinxed by Heather!

[white]PC: "Wow Heather, you sure are good at predictions."

HHL: "Quiet, you!"

Holden Ross stops on a dime and begins furiously sniffing the air as he hears something go bump in the night. Raion, meanwhile, can be seen on one half of the screen pushing himself up to his hands and knees before rubbing a newfound bump on his head. Then, Holden starts sprinting in the opposite direction even faster!

HHL: "Wow...Holden Ross really is like a bloodhound for violence!"

PC: "I told you so, Heather!"

As Holden continues sprinting the camera eventually fades out into a long, singular shot. We see Holden Ross sprinting atop the ice, running through the darkness at a recovering Raion Kido. Raion hears Holden before he sees him, and so he tries to push himself back to his feet, only to slip again and eat even more ice! Holden, meanwhile, is getting closer than ever to his prey!

HHL: "This won't be good for Raion!"

PC: "If Kido can't even stand on the ice, how is he going to fight on it?!"

Holden comes sprinting in and sees Raion laying on the ground. Ross spins around on the ice to gain even more momentum before he leaves his feet and brings a huge elbow drop down onto Raion's lower back! The former universal champion howls in pain as Holden laughs belligerently!

HHL: "That had to hurt!"

PC: "An elbow drop on tons of ice?! I'd say so! Raion's body is probably feeling like mine does after a rough night of partying at the Velvet Rabbit!"

HHL: "You're a disgusting little freak."

PC: "Oh yeah, talk that nasty stuff to me!"

HHL: "....gross...."

Holden quickly gets back to his feet, dragging Raion Kido with him. Holden stands tall and tries to tuck Raion's head between his legs, almost as if he were going for a powerbomb. Kido, however, is too quick of a thinker for such simple moves! The former universal champion reaches down for Holden's ankle and twists it out of place before lifting it off the ground, forcing Holden Ross to slip on the ice and fall on his back! Raion Kido takes complete advantage of this opportunity by flipping Holden around and locking in a single leg crab!

PC: "That looks painful!"

HHL: "A frozen crab sounds awful!"

Holden struggles and hollers at Raion Kido keeps the single leg crab in. Holden looks like he's about to consider tapping out, but then he reconsiders, and redoubles his efforts to be free! Eventually Holden is able to swing his leg with so much force that Raion Kido is forced to let go! Raion stumbles forward, just barely managing to not slop on the ice. Holden quickly pushes himself up to his feet and lets out a bestial roar before charging at Raion Kido once more.

PC: "Holden Ross wants some more action!"

HHL: "And it looks like he's going to get it!"

As Holden sprints ahead, Raion deftly leaves his feet, quickly going from almost slipping to executing a perfect dropkick all in the span of 3 seconds! Raion's feet slam into Holden's jaw, sending the big man tumbling back down to the ice! Raion, meanwhile, bellyflops right onto the ice as comes down from the dropkick!

PC: "The fall on that one had to hurt both men!"

HHL: "You have to think that the damage of the moves is at least doubled here tonight, because that ice is a lot less forgiving than the wrestling mat!"

Regardless of the toll on their bodies, both Raion Kido and Holden Ross try to scramble to their feet as quickly as possible. The only problem for Holden, is that Raion Kido scrambles just a hair quicker. Holden turns around to grab Raion, but Kido is already running right at Holden! Kido screams out in excitement as he hits a huge running lariat on Ross that almost takes his head off! Both men go back to the frost-covered ground!

HHL: "ATOMIC THUNDER! Raion Kido just hit my favorite trademark move!"

PC: "Raion Kido has full control of this match right now, no question!"

Raion wheezes in pained exhertion on the ice as Holden Ross barely breathes at all. Kido crawls over the frozen tundra before placing a limp hand on Holden's seemingly unconscious body. A pinfall attempt is made!



1!






2!!





3-NO!

Holden somehow gets his shoulder up!


HHL: "Holden Ross barely kicked out of that pin at all! His shoulder only moved up half an inch, and only at the last possible milli-second!"

PC: "But he's still in this one, Heather!"

Raion Kido can't believe it, but the 24/7 briefcase holder knows he doesn't have time to lollygag. Raion rolls off of Holden before collecting himself, breathing in deep, and then kipping right up to his feet! Raion makes some gestures to a non-existent crowd as he waits for Holden Ross to rise, trying to regain his own energy and excitement for this big match-up.

PC: "A true man of the people! There's no crowd here, yet Raion Kido is still working them like a real pro!"

HHL: "Raion Kido knows he's putting on a great show for the fans watching along at home!"

After quite some time Holden Ross rolls over, groans, and then picks himself up to his feet. Still trying to regain his bearings, Holden brings his hand to his head as he looks around for Raion Kido in the darkness...but the former universal champion is nowhere to be seen.

UNTIL RAION COMES CHARGING BACK INTO ACTION WITH A CLOSED FIST!

Raion Kido screams out "LIGHTNING BOLT!" before he finishes Holden off with a vicious heart punch! Ross falls to the ground nearly breathless, and Raion Kido hops on top of him for the cover!


HHL: "There's no kicking out of this one, I don't care who you are!"

PC: "The same move that put down ALIAS!"


1!



2!!




3!!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Raion Kido

---

The camera angle shifts, taking us to the Reindeer Rendezvous stable. Kids can be seen happily feeding a few of the reindeer, smiling, as the parents relish the quiet time behind them. A security guard suddenly comes up, patiently shooing the families out, as we see Chris Page walking in from one side. He looks around, still appearing to be completely disappointed in the location. Buster Gloves makes his way in from the other side, glaring at Page. Neither looks happy, as the referee steps in from behind Gloves, takes in both expressions, and then just waves his hands to officially start this one.

CHRIS PAGE - vs - BUSTER GLOVES Red-Nosed Reindeer Match The match will take place within the Reindeer Rendezvous stable. The two competitors will fight while surrounded by the reindeer in their stations, and can use them to their advantage if possible. Win by pinfall or submission. 1 RP - Savage Rules

As the referee moves to the side, Gloves and Page approach each other. Page gestures around him, as if telling Gloves to try and use one of the caribou for a weapon. Gloves seems to be blaming Page, pointing around him and saying that this is all his fault. Page disagrees, with the two men arguing about their current circumstances.

HHL: Neither wrestler is looking very happy with the gimmick that was chosen for them.

Pip: Who would be? Two stars forced to wrestle in a reindeer stable? Animals are the worst! Watch where you step, boys!

Page shakes his head, then seems to tell Gloves that they have to make the most of it. He gets out one of his 'sugar cubes' bags, starting to give some of the contents to the reindeer next to him (Prancer, if the nameplate is correct). But Gloves smacks the bag out of Page's hands, possibly having seen what could be in those cubes. Page, angry, stares at his hand, then clenches it and swings, hitting Gloves with a punch! Gloves returns it, and the two men are quickly brawling backwards into the stable!

Gloves gets control, chopping away at Page's chest, as the two men lean towards the stable of Vixen. Despite the name, the reindeer doesn't look very interested, as she roams away from them to the back of her stable. Gloves pulls Page off of the doorway, looking to throw him, but Page blocks it, then twists into Gloves, lifting him up and tossing him with a German suplex across the stable! Gloves hits the ground and bounces, hurting from the landing, as Page pulls himself up.

HHL: It will be interesting to see how many actual wrestling moves we see in this one. Despite the setting, both men are going to be looking for the pinfall.

Pip: Personally, I'd shove someone's head into the backside of a reindeer until they tap out. There would probably be a delivery of 'deer drops' that would add to it.

HHL: I think the reindeer would just kick backwards like crazy.

Pip: That would be just as good...

Page has brought Gloves up now, holding him from behind as he punches away at Gloves' side, as if to do some kidney damage. With Gloves wincing badly from the strikes, Page steps to the side, considering a shovel that's been hung on the door. It doesn't take much imagination to know what that shovel is probably used for.

Page makes sure not to get the top end too close to his face as he hoists it up, stepping towards Gloves... who scoops up a small pile of hay from off the ground and throws it backwards, blinding him! Page wipes his other hand across his face, while sweeping the shovel forward in a blind strike. Gloves ducks under it, though, then leaps forward with a yell, hitting a Sparta kick... that sends Page flying backwards through a stall door, smashing it open!!

HHL: Our first trip into the reindeers' lair!!

Pip: Watch out, Page! Don't take a horseshoe to the head!

HHL: Wait, do they have anything like that? And would it be called a deer shoe?

Pip: Who the hell knows, or cares??

Gloves stumbles into the stall after Page, as the reindeer there, apparently Donner. Thankfully, the reindeer doesn't seem to be fond of human flesh, in spite of its name, because it just wanders around Gloves and heads for the open door. Gloves doesn't care, as he sees Page staggering towards him. Gloves immediately shoves Page into the air, then lands a pop-up European uppercut, knocking Page to the ground! He makes the cover, as the ref scoots in and makes sure he can safely get on his knees before he starts counting.










ONE!!











TWO!!








And Page kicks out long before the third hand can come down. Gloves, not looking surprised, turns Page over, trying to apply an arm submission, but Page knocks him away with a back elbow and crawls for a second before pushing himself back to his feet. Gloves, shaking his head clear, charges at Page, but Page grabs him and throws him overhead with a release belly-to-belly suplex, sending Gloves into the back side of the stable... and breaking right through it to the outside!!!

Pip: Oh man!

HHL: That wasn't supposed to open up, was it??

Pip: I don't think so. You'd expect better construction in a stable, wouldn't you?

HHL: You would if you don't want the reindeer escaping!

Page staggers after Gloves, who is on his stomach, trying to recover. Page, though, immediately picks up a splintered piece of wood, bringing it down onto Gloves' back! He lands a second shot, with Gloves in serious pain from the impacts, as he rolls away from the strikes. Page follows him, adding in a few stomps, as the referee stays close behind him.

We can see some of the reindeer seizing the opportunity of the broken wall, making their way towards the grassy field nearby, as Page drops an elbow onto Gloves' back. He then twists the piece of wood around, putting it into Gloves' face, even as he begins to apply a crossface submission!! Gloves' feet kick wildly as he tries to push the piece of wood away, even as the referee circles around to check on him and see if the submission is coming.

HHL: Unfortunately for Buster, there's no ropes to crawl for! He's just got to find a way to escape!

Pip: On the plus side, it's not an I Quit match, so Finn can't rig it against him.

HHL: You mean Vaughn?

Pip: No, I'm sticking with what I said.

As Page continues to lean back, doing as much damage as possible, Gloves seems adamant that he's not going to tap, refusing to even signal to the referee. He seems to be weakening, though, from the constant pressure. However, he's saved by a natural occurrence, as the last reindeer, featuring a painted-on red nose, steps out and heads right towards the two men. For some reason, the "Rudolph" decides to step over them, with Page instinctively dropping the hold and shielding himself as the deer jumps over him!

The reindeer heads for the field, as Page looks out at him in disbelief. He shakes his head and gets up, grabbing at Gloves to pull him to his feet. He goes to grab onto Gloves, but Gloves suddenly reverses, twisting behind Page and wrapping him around the waist. Before the startled Page can react, Gloves lifts with all his might, throwing Page backwards with the Bulls Eye!!! The release suplex sends Page flying onto the small hill, rolling down it into the field below, as Gloves takes a moment to stretch out his arm and recover.

HHL: We're starting to leave the Reindeer Rendezvous behind!

Pip: Wait, is that legal? I thought the match had to be inside the stable!

HHL: From what I can see by the rules, there's nothing that says it has to END in the stables. Plus, the reindeer are sort of coming with them...

Page drags himself up in the small walking field, where security is working to make sure no civilians are anywhere near. The reindeer are spread out, enjoying the fresh grass all around them. It's rare they get this much freedom. As Page hobbles away, holding his leg, Gloves comes up from behind. Page seems to sense him, trying to swing backwards blindly, but Gloves knocks his hand away, then swings... scoring the Heartbreaker heart punch!!! Page collapses backwards, as Gloves makes the cover...









ONE!!











TWO!!












THR- and Page kicks out in time! Gloves sits back, looking a little frustrated at the referee, who can only shrug his shoulders and say he got there as quick as he could. Gloves gets up, taking a moment to steady himself, before grabbing at Page again... but Page pulls him down, taking Gloves by surprise as he twists Glove into a quick roll-up! The ref, surprised, drops down again...







ONE!!









TWO!!









And Gloves pushes himself free, avoiding the costly loss!

Pip: Even when he's hurting, Chris Page is always thinking multiple steps ahead! It's how he's built the CCPE to be so powerful and respected!

HHL: I'll grant you powerful, but respect is a step too far...

Pip: Well, I respect them, at least.

Gloves is back up, kneeing Page in the side, before dragging him along as they head across the field. Once again, security is working to stay nearby, looking nervous at where the two men are going. The two seem to be going by what looks like another stable, even as the figures inside don't seem to be moving. They're all posed around a manger, forming a nativity scene. Neither wrestler reacts, thankfully, as they continue on, with Gloves whipping Page towards a small fountain. But Page reverses, sending Gloves crashing into the water instead!

As Gloves works to get up, coughing, Page comes in from behind him and grabs hold, dropping him with a Codebreaker into the fountain!!! Gloves flops in the water, stunned and in danger of drowning. Showing no concern for his opponent, Page forces Gloves over and shoves him down, working to make the cover in the water!! The ref, with no other recourse, starts to slap the surface of the water...







ONE!!












TWO!!













THR- and Gloves pushes himself up, managing to take a big gasp of breath as he gets free of the pin!

Pip: Gotta say, I wasn't thinking drowning was a danger in a reindeer match. But then, the XWF is always unpredictable!

HHL: This one's seriously getting out of hand.

Pip: Hey, Page may not be on Gloves' CCPE hit list, but you knew these two weren't going to hit it off as friends or anything...

With a quick shove, Page sends Gloves sprawling out of the fountain and back onto the path. Page then seems to focus on what's ahead of them, stopping for a second and breaking out into a smile. He grabs hold of Gloves and begins dragging him forward, as the two men head towards the oddly-shaped candy style building in front of them.

HHL: Wait... is that... the GINGERBREAD HOUSE??

Pip: The bake shop?? Wait, didn't Vinnie Lane veto this one?? For legal reasons??

HHL: Well, unless he's getting a cookie right now, Vinnie isn't around to stop this!

Patrons can be seen enjoying some of the baked goods inside the small shop. This all changes when Gloves comes flying bodily through the door, rolling into the counter!! With some screams and some excited yells, the crowd disperses, fleeing for other exits as Page steps in. He smiles, grabbing at Gloves, who spins around... and jams a gingerbread man into Page's mouth!!

Gloves staggers away, getting behind the counter and heading towards the baking area. Page seems so straighten up, crunching away at the cookie. He nods, apparently thinking it tastes pretty good, but he doesn't have time to enjoy it fully. He throws the rest away as he follows Gloves, stepping through the doorway... and getting walloped by a reinforced cookie sheet!! Page topples to the ground, as Gloves falls onto him for the cover...








ONE!!













TWO!!










TH- Page is able to shove a shoulder up, staying in it!

Pip: This match has completely changed! Where are the reindeer??

HHL: They're off roaming the park, free just like they should be.

Pip: And what the hell is Santa going to do on December 25th??

Page crawls away, hurting, as Gloves gets up, glancing over at the now-bent cookie sheet laying to the side. He shakes his head, then goes after Page, grabbing him from the back in order to position him for the Soul Crusher submission!! He wraps an arm around Page, who is frantically reaching out towards the ingredients island... and gets some powder, throwing it behind him in order to blind Gloves!!

Gloves, coughing heavily, tries to clear his vision, trying to get over to a nearby sink. But as Gloves splashes water in his face, a recovered Page comes up from behind, charging in and hitting Gloves with a Judas Effect!! Gloves bounces off the sink and falls to the ground, not moving, as Page stands over him with a wild grin, pushing hair out of his eyes. He drops to his knees, then makes the cover, as the referee carefully comes in...










ONE!!













TWO!!












THRE- NO!!! KICKOUT!!

HHL: I did NOT see Buster getting out of that one, not the way he landed!

Pip: Plus that white powder Page threw into his face probably has him messed up!

HHL: ... It's a kitchen, Pip, it was probably sugar or flour or something...

Pip: That's what they WANT you to think!

Page argues with the ref for a second, telling him he failed at his job. The ref just tells Page to get back to work, so Page walks over to Gloves and snags him by the back of the neck, hauling him up. He whispers something to Gloves before turning him around, launching him into the front of an industrial oven!! The glass window cracks but holds, as Gloves falls to the side, a trickle of blood coming from a cut above his eye.

Page limps over to him, pleased with how things are going. He drags Gloves up again, setting him in place for the Page Plant!! But before Page can lift, Gloves begins fighting back, struggling to get his arms free. He manages it, causing Page to bring both fists down on his back, knocking him to the ground. Page then reaches for his arms again, hauling him up... and Gloves breaks off a low blow, smashing straight into the Page crown jewels!!!

Pip: Damn!!

HHL: Buster Gloves resorting to whatever he has to in order to stay in this one!

Pip: Think he learned that from Peter Vaughn? That was brutal!

Page slumps to the side, holding onto the island, groaning from the strike. Gloves, meanwhile, gets himself up, his eyes showing the fury that's burning through him. He steps forward, lifting a still-hurting page onto his shoulders, and gives a wild yell... before launching Page into the island with the Obliterator!!!!!

Page is just laying on the island, not moving, his arms hanging below, as Gloves staggers over to him and puts an arm on him. The referee seems a little hesitant, but Gloves glares at him to continue, so the ref goes ahead and starts the count...










ONE!!













TWO!!














THREE!!!!

WINNER: BUSTER GLOVES

HHL: What a victory for Buster Gloves!!

Pip: Wait, though, Page was literally hanging backwards off of that island! How can you say his shoulders are down?

HHL: The referee obviously made the call that it counts, Pip, and Page couldn't kick out in time!

Pip: I guess. We got to see a bit more ruthless side of Buster Gloves tonight, and personally, I'm all for it.

HHL: Considering this was just going to be a fight around reindeers, I think we got our money's worth!

Gloves stumbles on his way out of the kitchen, heading out to the serving area. There are some teary-eyed kids there, staring at him, with Gloves returning the look before reaching behind the counter and pulling out a tray of gingerbread cookies. He puts them up on the counter, offering them to the kids, who all charge in to get some free sweets. He then throws some money in the register before slowly limping out of the snack shop.

---

We find ourselves in another section of the park, where few people seem to be hanging out as it's gotten dark out. One by one, rows of lights along the path start to ominously turn off, until, after 30 seconds of darkness, one spot gets illuminated by bright light, and in the middle stands a large figure, with a mask on, his voice modded to sound robotic as he begins to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen and to all those outside and between, I am, Oz. You know me for different reasons. Some of you know me as the New Breed of Monster from years ago, to the God Champion I was not long ago. You. Know. Me.

You see, I've been out of action, fighting my inner demons and outer demons. I've been fighting. I'm so very tired. I've been in the XWF since 2014, can you believe it? Almost 8 damn years."

He pauses for a moment.

"And yet my accolades aren't where they should be. I SHOULD'VE BEEN A UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! I SHOULD'VE BEEN A HOUSEHOLD NAME! But these people you cheer and boo, none of them save for a few, actually gave a damn about me. TK, Bobby, you two have been with me since it was known as the Brotherhood of Baddies. Been by my side, rooting for me to succeed where everyone else stopped giving a shit, and to you two? I thank you.

You've helped me when no one else would. Fury? Fuck her. Page? He can go fuck off into a pit. You two? You are my only goddamn friends and I'm so happy to call you that."

He chuckled, then spoke some more.

"But to the rest of the locker room? To the management? None of you cared about me. None of you wanted me to succeed. And I'm sure, the rest of you, to the rest of you people out here, you have felt like I have. Your back against the wall, your friends can't always be there to help you in your times of need so you fight and you fight and you FIGHT! Tooth and nail, tooth and nail, tooth and goddamn nail!

How many of you have felt like I have?

Because, brothers and sisters and those inside and outside the box, I know some of you have. I welcome you, with open arms, with my ears wide open to listen to the problems you have and show you the sympathy and love that only someone like you, can give.

So, come to me, be with me. Show your devotion to me. Shower me with your love and praise and I will give you double.

I love you...

All I ask for you in return is one thing...

Believe, in me."

As the lights dim, he turns off the voice modulator as he whispered softly, eerily as it all fades to black.

"And I will show you everything..."

---

CHARLIE NICKLES - vs - DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE Rooftop Clatter Spectacular The match will take place on the roof of Santa's home. Anything goes on the rooftop. Win by shoving your opponent down the chimney. 2 RPs - Unlimited Words

PIP: "We're heading over to Santa's House now for the Rooftop Clatter Spectacular!  This match here, Heather, has quite a history, doesn't it?"

HHL: "It sure does, Pip.  This is the third year running of the match.  It started in 2020 with Doctor D'Ville defeating Charlie Nickles, the following year Charlie returned and successfully defended the Television Championship against Eliah Martin, and tonight, we have a Doc and Charlie rematch!!"

PIP: "That's right!  Charlie has a chance for some redemption tonight!  Doc hasn't been in a ring in quite some time, but then again, this match isn't taking place in one!"

The scene switches to Santa's House within Santa's Village.  The house is, of course, decorated to the max with lights and decorations, along with an XWF touch with the barbed-wire Christmas lights across each edge of the snow covered roof like ring ropes.

From down the street, Charlie Nickles rolls up in a sleigh pulled by a bunch of stray dogs.  The dogs are barking like crazy when they all stop the sleigh in front of the house.  Charlie steps off and immediately climbs a ladder that's already propped up on the side of the building. 

PIP: "There's a strong look of determination on Charlie's face tonight, Heather."

HHL: "Is that what that is?"

Once Charlie reaches the top, he sits at the peak and waits for his opponent, who's currently nowhere in sight.  The lights inside and outside of the house begin to flicker and then all burn bright red.  The lights glow brighter and brighter until some burst and the rest burn out.  The front door of the house blasts off its hinges and out steps Doctor D'Ville.

Doc makes his way up to the roof and Charlie wastes no time.  He slides down to meet Doc as he reaches the top.  Charlie attacks him with his fists, beating Doc down, then drags him up towards the peak and chimney.

Doc throws an elbow up into Charlie's gut and breaks the Nickleman's grasp!  Grabbing him by the throat, Doc thrusts Charlie down sending him sliding almost all of the way off the roof!  Lucky for Charlie he gets caught up in some of the barbed-wire Christmas lights and that prevents him from falling.

HHL: "Those Christmas lights are deadly!"

PIP: "Deadly?  They just saved Charlie from falling!"

HHL: "That's, like, eight feet, Pip.  What might kill you, would only sprain Charlie's ankle."

PIP: "A fall landing on your head from four feet could kill you."

Charlie tries to free himself, but before he can Doc slides down the roof and kicks him free and off of the roof.  Charlie lands on the ground below and lands on his back.  Doc continues in the motion, sliding perfectly under the bottom rope, and lands on his feet beside Charlie on the ground.

Doc grabs Charlie by the hair and pulls him to his feet.  He drags him over to the right front window of the house and throws the Nickleman head first into it!  It shatters to pieces and leaves Charlie cut up and bloodied.  He stumbles backwards into Doc, who grabs him again and throws him straight into a Christmas tree!

PIP: "Doc looks like he has full control right now, Heather, but he has to get Charlie back up on the roof if he wants to win this thing."

HHL: "Yeah, knocking them off the roof never seems like the best strategy."

Charlie seems unfazed so far and pulls himself right up out of the tree.  Doc is standing by the doorway he blew apart, Charlie charges him and spears him to the inside of the kitchen and through a table full of Christmas cookies!  Charlie quickly grabs one of the now empty pans and whacks Doc over the head with it not once, or twice, but three times!


WHACK!


WHACK!


WHACK!


Doc is dazed, but pushes away and uses the counter top to pull himself to his feet.  Charlie looks around the small kitchen for something else and quickly settles for a wooden chair.  He one arm throws it across the room, Doc jumps to the side out of the way and it shatters to pieces upon impact against the wall.  Charlie grabs another and whips it and that one crashes against Doc's back!  The Nickleman grabs ceramic vases, cookie jars, and whatever else he can get his hands on and throws them towards Doc.  Some of them hit, others smash against the wall behind him.

PIP: "Charlie is throwing everything that isn't boarded down at Doc tonight, Heather!"

Doc grabs thin air and pulls his fist down hard bringing the ventilation system above the ovens down onto Charlie.  The doctor hobbled over and started unburying Charlie from the mess.  Charlie blasts out from the rubble and roars as he attacks Doc!  He pushes the doctor back then grabs a piece of the duct and smacks him over the head with it!  Doc staggers back and into the next room, which is Santa's Workshop!

HHL: "They're going the wrong way, Pip!"

PIP: "You're totally right, Heather.  If either of these two are interested in winning they better make their way back up to the roof!"

Doc stumbles into a workbench and grabs a wooden mallet.  As Charlie comes up from behind him, Doc reaches back and smacks Charlie square in the nose with it.  He rushes it, grabs Charlie around the waist, then flips him overhead with the belly-to-belly suplex!

HHL: "Hey, I think that's the first 'wrestling' move in this match."

PIP: "It's certainly been a brawl thus far, Heather."

Charlie bounces off the wooden floor, but again, isn't down very long before he's climbing to his feet, ready for more.  Doc quickly approaches and reaches out to grab Charlie, but is blinded when Charlie grabs two handfuls of glitter and throws it into Doc's face!  He staggers away rubbing his eyes, Charlie is right behind him and grabs Doc by the head and sends him straight into a standing drill press!  Right next to it is a table saw, Charlie pulls Doc over and pushes him down on it and turns it on!  The circular saw blade blows saw dust up into a still partially blinded Doc as Charlie pushes his face down close to it while it zings along.

PIP: "Oh my God!  Doc's about to get sawed in half!"

As Doc gets inches closer to the saw, he puts his foot out on the bottom legs of the machine to hold him back.  Charlie fights to push him closer, even attacking the leg, but Doc manages to throw an elbow into Charlie's midsection to break it off and escape.  Charlie doesn't let Doc get far, he grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back in to nail him with a DDT!

HHL: "Wow!  Another wrestling move!"

Charlie grabs some tinsel from around the doorway and wraps it around Doc's neck!  He pulls it tight, choking the doctor, then starts dragging him towards the door to outside.  Doc grabs the doorway and the thin tinsel breaks in Charlie's hands.  The Nickleman kicks open the door anyway and heads outside to the other side of the building from where they started.  Charlie pulls out a five-foot tall candy cane ornament that was hung up against the house and waits for Doc around the corner.  He waits and waits, but no Doc.  Finally, the window from behind Charlie breaks and Doc dives through and tackles him!

Doc pulls a piece of glass out of his shoulder then gets up off of Charlie.  He turns around and notices a line of large icicles hanging from the awning and pulls one off.

The doctor walks up to Charlie and smashes it on the back of his head!  Charlie flattens to the ground and holds the back of his now bleeding head.

PIP: "Man, that had to hurt…"


Charlie gets pulled to his feet and back over to the house.  Doc grabs a garbage can and empties out the contents which consist of old wrapping paper, red solo cups, and cotton stuffing.  He heads towards Charlie with it wielded over his head…  Charlie sees him coming and quickly throws together a snowball and whips it, striking Doc right in the face!  Doc drops the garbage can and spits the snow out of his mouth.  Charlie is quick to his feet, he rushes after Doc!  He lifts him off of his feet and powerslams him onto the same garbage can!  Doc rolls away as he holds his back.  Meanwhile, Charlie grabs the already beaten down, flattened garbage can and beats down Doc with it as he rolls away!  Charlie gets Doc to his feet and quickly pulls him in and hits a Devil Hook Drop on the garbage can, too!

HHL: "Did ya see that!  Doc is out!"

PIP: "Charlie with the Devil Hook Drop on Doc!  Too bad he couldn't make a cover!"

HHL: "What's his plan now?  Picking Doc up on his shoulders and carrying him to the roof?"

PIP: "I wouldn't not think that."

Charlie lies next to Doc for a few seconds then climbs to his feet.  He wanders around the front of the building and grabs the ladder he used to initially climb to the top.  He brings it around the back and props it up against the roof.  Charlie starts to climb the ladder, but sees Doc still hasn't moved.  Charlie walks back over to him, kicks him in the side, but still nothing.  He leans down to pick up Doc, but gets a handful of snow in his face now.  Charlie stumbles away, Doc gets up to his feet, and charges Charlie!  Just as Doc gets to him, Charlie manages to wipe the snow away and see him and dive out of the way!  Doc runs into the ladder and breaks it!

HHL: "Now they're screwed!"

Charlie screams out Doc then follows up with a knee to the side of the head.  He then grabs the ladder and pulls the rest of it out, since the roof isn't very high it still works.  He props it up further out and it's more of a ramp now instead of a ladder.  Charlie walks up on it about half-way, putting him at about five-feet, then dives off hitting an elbow drop onto Doc's head!

Charlie yells down at Doc again as he grabs him and leads him over to the bottom of the ladder.  Charlie drops Doc there, then walks up to the roof to wait.  Doc gets up and crawls across the ladder towards the roof, Charlie starts across to meet him, but the ladder bows and looks like it will break if he does, so the Nicklman stays back.  Doc gets to his feet then finishes his way over to where Charlie is already waiting on the peak.

Doc crawls through the barbed-wire and crawls up towards Charlie, who dives down and catches Doc in a big cross-body which sends both of them sliding down the roof.

PIP: "Oh no!  They're falling off again!"

Doc and Charlie both get tangled in the barbed-wire now.  They try fighting their way out while fighting each other, in a completely losing battle as the razor barbs cut them up all over.  After a while, they finally escape the grasp of the wire, and crawl away from each other.  They work their way up to the peak and reach it at the same time.

HHL: "Oh boy, we could be reaching our climax here, Pip."

Once the two are on the peak, they duke it out back and forth with rights and lefts!

PIP: "Yes we could, Heather!  The chimney is only a few feet away!  All it takes now is for someone to get the upperhand and take advantage!  We must be close to having a winner!"

Back and forth the two fight, with no one getting the upperhand like PIp said.  Doc eventually loses his footing and balance in the snow, Charlie catches him and sets up for another Devil Hook Drop!  Doc reverses and tucks Charlie's head under his arm…  He lifts him up and….  LOBOTOMY ONTO THE CHIMNEY!!  Charlie's head bounced off the brick and bounced him back!  Doc catches him before his body could slide down the snowy roof and pulls him back up onto his shoulders.  Head first, Doc stuffs Charlie down the chimney!!

PIP: "That's it!  We have a winner!  Doc D'Ville has defeated Charlie Nickles in the third Rooftop Clatter Spectacular!!"

Doc isn't done though, he jumps high into the air and, with both feet, stuffs Charlie further and further down until Doc has to climb out himself.

WINNER - DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE

---

In the back, we see the man who was once Notorious, then Nefarious, and is now Nameless - Ned Kaye himself, the reigning Supercontinental Champion at least until Warfare. He’s probably here to scope out his opponent for that unification title match coming up soon right here on the Savage Solstice Show. Why else would anyone ever go to New Hampshire? Vacation? Lame.

Ned is seen in classic backstage wrestler mode. Belt over his shoulder, standing to the side of a big television monitor so as not to block the view of it for the CamBots filming him. He stares up at the monitor as the aftermath from the Doc D’Ville versus Charlie Nickles match is handled.

Then, much like the classic poem, there arose such a clatter. The nearby lockers were banging as if someone was stuck inside.

Ned was curious, so he approached the lockers and looked at them with a raised eyebrow, not sure what to think.

That’s when a huge gorilla attacks him from behind, ramming his head into the row of lockers!

Wait a minute… that’s no gorilla… once again it’s someone in a suit! A suit with a Santa hat, to boot!

As Kaye slides down to the floor, the “gorilla” starts stomping on him. The activity knocks the gorilla mask off to reveal Big Preesh!!!

Preesh continues assaulting Ned as the lockers open up and DA BING BONG TWINZZ step out!

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Yeah beat his ass Preesh! You want this money right? Punk this cuckboy out,  shiiiiiiiiiiiii"

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

Preesh yanks Ned up and takes the Supercontinental Championship, then slams it right into Ned’s cheekbone! Ned is out cold as he collapses, and Preesh now stands there sucking wind and holding his hand out as Li’l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e starts peeling Benjamins out of a fat roll of cash.

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Here you go, Preeshy, just like we agreed. A whole stack. Now you can eat all the cheese curds you want, playa!"

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Bet you ain’t never got no payout like this working for our pops and Freddy Fingers or whatever the fuck that ugly ass Liberace wannabe’s name is. You can go now anyways me and bro-bro got some finishing touches to handle."

Preesh counts his money and then picks up his Gorilla mask with the Santa hat attached. He tips it to Da Twinzz before placing it back on his head and walking off happy as can be, probably on his way to some all you can eat buffet. It’s New Hampshire so you know there’s one of those nearby.

C-Munq and Li’l C stand over the fallen Ned Kaye and kick the Supercontinental Title aside.

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Let’s show this dumbass what happens when you roll with punk asses like Cashe and then go run your pube covered dicksucker on a podcast, dragging our names all over the XWF Media Platforms!"

Da Twinzz take their positions on either side of Ned’s head. They then link hands.

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Okay bro you ready? On three. One!"

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Two!"

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Three!!!"

Da Twinzz then start pistoning up and down, taking turns like they are on a teeter totter. Each time one of them goes down, he rests his bulging nutsack right on the chin of Ned Kaye while the other twin stands up.

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Hell yeah you like that shit don’t you Ned? Fat pair of bizzallz on your mouth for every time you had shit to say about the greatest tag team to ever walk this Earth!"

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"How’s that bag feel on your mouth, Neddy?! Bet you like them huge testes right there don’t you? Bet you like the stank from all that poontang I be getting too!"

The teabagging continues for an incredibly long time, and the cameras just stay there watching as Da Twinzz continue to seesaw up and down over and over again for several long minutes.

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Eventually the cameras just have to fade out because it’s time for the TV Title Triple Threat, but the Bing Bongers look like they have the cardio to do this for the rest of the night. They just keep dipping their crotches onto Ned’s lips in silence as the scene ends.
[/font]

---

ISAIAH KING © - vs - MASTERMIND - vs - GERI VAYDEN Triple Threat Match for the XWF Television Championship Champion's Advantage - Isaiah King can choose the holiday-themed stipulation in their first RP! Savage Rules

HHL: It’s been an incredible final Savage so far! And we’re not done yet! We have THREE MARQUEE TITLE MATCHES, with major implications going into 2023!

PIP: Indeed, Heather. While this might be the final Savage, its ripples will carry into a new era of XWF! And this match will decide who will be the final Television champion on Savage.

DING DING

”THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! AND IT IS FOR THE XWF TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!”



A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldnt be seen, and his head was looking down.

He stood in a stance. And as a white light appeared on his front, he unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:



As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:



He turned back around and stood in a pose as the white light bathed on him to reveal: MASTERMIND

He then smirks as he walks all the way to the ring, with the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk, walking not far behind.  Followed by Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs and Kris 'The Hammer' Von Bonn.

HHL: Mastermind! A future XWF Legend! A man who has held almost every title belt in XWF! A man about to wrestle his TWO-HUNDREDTH XWF MATCH!

PIP: Indeed, Heather. And while he hasn’t won every one, he’s truly mastered a few mind’s in his XWF tenure. If anyone has the mental fortitude to topple the reigning champion and take the TV Title… It might just be Mastermind…

Mastermind stands in one corner, looking smugly consident, as his entourage stands beside his corner, on the padded floor below…



The opening guitar riff of "The Deathsurround" by The Butcher Babies hits the air waves as Geri Vayden makes her way past the curtain, and down to the ringl. Vayden ignores the fans who are lined up along the ramp…

HHL: Geri Vayden… The wild card. The ‘Goddess of Ganja’.

PIP: She doesn’t always pull out the win, Heather. But she always surprises. And just when you think she’s in a scenario she can’t succeed in… That’s when she’s her most dangerous.

HHL: No doubt, Pip! If you’re crossing Geri’s name off your betting slip early, do NOT count her out! Geri Vayden is a dangerous foe for just about anyone on the roster… And she’s a splash of chaos in an already tumultuous triple-threat match…

Geri strolls calmly to the opposite corner… Refusing to acknowledge Mastermind. Mastermind looks cool and collected, while the Misfits boo and jeer Vayden from the outside…



Isaiah King, the pride and joy of New York City, the current reigning XWF Television Champion emerges! The crowd lights up, a mixture of cheers and boos.

King hoists the belt up to the people and the volume of both sides increases to deafening volumes.

HHL: Isaiah King! Since debuting in the XWF, he’s been absolutely dominant!

PIP: He has every chance to walk out of the Final Wednesday Night Warfare as the new unified champion over Supercontinental Champ, Ned Kaye! But, before he can do that, he has to find that Isaiah King magic one more time…

HHL: And beat two very game opponents here tonight…

King rolls under the bottom rope… He lifts the belt off his shoulder and hands it to the official, who meets with the timekeeper outside the ring to deposit it.

The three opponents meet center of the ring… Mastermind. Geri Vayden. Isaiah King…

HHL: The very last TV Title match in Savage History… It’s about to GO DOWN!

The official calls for the bell…

DING DING

King goes to grab Mastermind… But before he can, Mastermind hits the mat and rolls out of the ring!

A chorus of boos as Mastermind taps his temple… The Misfits at ringside clap for their leader, giving him pats on the back.

HHL: For his 200th match, Mastermind seems a little skittish to stay inside the ring, Pip.

PIP: You know what a triple-threat match means, Heather? No count-outs. And every offensive maneuever you take from one opponent saps your energy… Puts you a little closer to the three count. Mastermind is playing this perfectly by avoiding the action early…

King, irritated, beckons Mastermind to get back in the [expletive]ing ring. Mastermind instead remains outside…

King grits his tee- WHAM! All at once, Vayden delivers a dropkick that clips him right in the back of the skull! King rebounds off the ropes and falls back onto the mat…

HHL: Big tip for Isaiah King… Do NOT turn your back on Geri Vayden!

Almost before King even falls all the way back on the mat, Vayden sets her feet and… As King falls back, Vayden launches a STANDING MOONSAULT!

WHAM! Chest-to-chest contact, knocking the air out of King’s chest! Vayden hooks the leg!

1!

TW- At a one-and-a-half count, King kicks out.

PIP: Gonna take a lot more than two moves to put down Isaiah King…

HHL: Somehow, I think Vayden has more violence ready to go

As King tries to paw off this ambush attack, Vayden keeps on, grappling King by the back of the head and dragging him to his feet…

Meanwhile, outside the ring… Mastermind continues to circle the ring, like a shark in the water, as the Misfits remain flanking his sides, cheering him on…

Vayden grips King in a front facelock…

[red]HHL: Think Vayden might be looking for a standing suplex…

Vayden goes to lift…

BUT, Isaiah slips out of her grip and TAAAAAAAGS HER IN THE FACE WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Vayden takes a bump, falling backfirst on the mat, from that shot! Vayden, sensing the momentum shifting, tries to get back to her feet to take back control…

But King spins… And Vayden gets back upright, she takes a HUGE DISCUS LARIAT TO THE FACE! She drops to the mat… And this time she stays down!

King goes for the cover…

1! Mastermind rolls back in the ring!

T- King voluntarily gets up and goes to grapple Mastermind…

But Mastermind rolls right back under the rope!

The arena boos!

HHL: Pretty sure that if anyone bought a ticket to see Mastermind’s 200th match… They’re not exactly getting their money’s worth from Mastermind thus far…

PIP: Mastermind isn’t HERE to entertain, Heather. He’s here to MASTER MINDS and he’s here to WIN.

The Misfits continue to fawn over their leader as Mastermind continues to taunt and mock his opponents…

Inside the ring, King stands Vayden up again… And shoves her back against the ropes…

The TV champ pulls her into a clinch… And mutters something to her under his breath.

Mastermind stands outside the ring, soaking up the boos of the crowd as they demand that he get in the ring.

Isaiah shoves Vayden against the ropes… Irish Whip! Vayden runs across the ring and…

LEAPS THROUGH THE ROPES! TOPE SUICIDA! SHE SPEARS MASTERMIND STRAIGHT THROUGH THE NECK, TAKING HIM TO THE FLOOR!

HHL: Wow! What a dive! I think that mighta taken a few inches off Mastermind there, Pip!

PIP: Indeed, Heather! And Mastermind already isn’t the tallest guy in the locker room. He could use every inch he has…

As Vayden tries to leap on Mastermind to keep the offense going… Suddenly, the Misfits dive on top of her, beginning a three-on-one assault! Crayzee and The Hammer start stomping Vayden with wild abandon like they’re trying to get mud off their boots, as Anthony the Jerk tries to quickly help Mastermind back to his feet.

The official bends through the ropes and yells down, telling the three to clear out! As he does… King bounces off the ropes himself…

The three Misfits ignore the yelling official, halfway out the ring…

But Isaiah King sprints across the ring… he leaps off the back of the official! REFEREE-ASSISTED POETRY IN MOTION OVER THE TOP ROPE! King’s body knocks both The Hammer and Crayzee off their feet!

Finally, feeling the need to get involved, the official rolls outside the ring and starts barking at Crayzee and The Hammer to hit the showers and head to the back!

HHL: Finally, the official asserting some control here and banning Mastermind’s minions from ringside.

The Hammer and Crayzee spit and yell back, accusing the official of being biased and ridiculous! But the official stands his ground…

As he does, Anthony the Jerk sneaks something into his master’s hand…

Vayden is looking much worse-for-wear outside the ring as King blows past her… The Television Champ grabs Anthony the Jerk by the neck and tosses him! The Jerk flops like a dead fish to the floor!

King grabs Mastermind by the back of the neck and shoves him under the ropes.

PIP: The official may have gotten rid of Mastermind’s two cheerleaders… But, he had his back turned while The Jerk snuck something into Mastermind’s hands…

HHL: Great catch, Pip!

PIP: Incredible work by Mastermind! He’s truly earned the victory tonight with his underhandedness.

HHL: Ye-... Wait, no.

King shoves Mastermind under the bottom rope… Just as the official turns to the stairs to climb into the ring.

Mastermind gets up to one knee as King goes to deliver the Guillotine…

Mastermind opens his hand and blows! POWDER! STRAIGHT INTO THE EYES OF THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!

King spins, covering his eyes! He’s blinded! And the official is back in the ring…

JUST IN TIME FOR MASTERMIND TO LOCK IN THE MINDSLEEPER! MASTERMIND LEAPS ONTO ISAIAH KING AND LATCHES ONTO KING’S THROAT IN A VICE GRIP FROM BEHIND!

HHL: King is in no-man’s land right now… He has to expend a lot of energy, both remaining upright AND trying to keep his airway open…

PIP: Absolutely correct, Heather. If he loses his footing and Mastermind has his Mindsleeper locked in at the center of the ring? We’re looking at a title change tonight!

King, still blinded, struggles to force a hand inside Mastermind’s bicep to free himself… But Mastermind clings on ever tighter!

HHL: We could be looking at a huge upset right here!

Mastermind squeezes as tight as he can… King’s legs start to look like jelly, wobbling out from under him…

Mastermind is so tuned into his submission maneuever… He doesn’t notice someone climbing to the rop rope…

IT’S GERI VAYDEN! DIVING IN WITH A CROSSBODY!

Mastermind tries to cling onto his grip… But Isaiah King is on top of him!

The official sees Mastermind’s shoulders are down… AND COUNTS!

1!

2!

THRE-NO!

Mastermind releases the grip and shoves his shoulders off the mat!

PIP: Incredible ring awareness from Mastermind! We’ve seen a lot of people lose themselves in the moment of a hold like that and let the official count to three.

King (who almost just *accidentally* retained his belt) hacks up a lung, as air rushes back into his respiratory system… Mastermind scoops himself back to his feet…

Just as Vayden catches him with a backflip PELE KICK TO THE DOME!

PIP: Wow! What a maneuver from Vayden!

HHL: The Goddess of Ganja knows what’s at stake here…

Vayden dives into a cover…

1!

2!

THRE-NO! Mastermind finds the wherewithal to kick out!

HHL: Incredible toughness from Mastermind! When you’ve taken as many finishing moves as he has in his career, you build up a tolerance to pain, I suppose…

Vayden shakes her head, sticking up three fingers. The official shakes his head and only holds up two.

Vayden looks at the fallen, shaky-footed Mastermind… Then glances over at the blinded, still-recovering Isaiah King…

PIP: Some mental calculus on display from Vayden here… Usually, the only she does is figuring out how many hot pockets she should put in the microwave when she gets the munchies…

Vayden hits the ropes… And a sitout dropkick catches Mastermind right in the side of the head! The Kiwi rolls like someone diving out of a car and lands outside the ring with a thud at the feet of Anthony the Jerk!

Vayden turns her sights on Isaiah King, grappling him by the back of the neck.

HHL: Here we go, Vayden, swooping like a vulture over the fallen TV champ.

PIP: All’s fair in love and triple-threat matches, Heather! We might be looking at an imminent title change!

Vayden grapples King by the arms, looking to lock-in the The Leaf (Rings of Saturn)...

But King, with incredible dexterity, slips his arms out of Vayden’s grip… And LEAPS GRABBING VAYDEN IN A FRONT-FACELOCK!

GUILLOTINE OF DESTRUCTION ON VAYDEN! THE CROWD GOES WILD!

HHL: HOLY HELL! I don’t even know if King knows who he just hit with that move…

PIP: But he knows it was an opponent, Heather! And that’s all that matters!

Vayden looks rubbery and unconscious as King struggles to turn her over onto her back, blinking powder out of his eyes…

Anthony the Jerk shouts at Mastermind to get back up! Go! NOW!

King pins! The official counts…

1!

2!

THREEEEEE-AS THE OFFICIAL’S HANDS GOES DOWN FOR THE FINAL COUNT, THE JERK PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING!

HHL: Anthony the Jerk getting involved to keep his talent in contention for the title!

PIP: What a… Hmm, I’m blanking on the right word here…

The official stands back up and shoves Anthony away, pointing at the XWF logo on his shirt. The Jerk shouts back. AND THE OFFICIAL SENDS THE JERK TO THE SHOWERS…

The Jerk is beside himself as the crowd chants ‘na-na-na-na, hey-hey-hey, goodbye…’ He backs up the ramp, continuing to yell at the official…

Meanwhile, Mastermind rolls back inside the ring… King has finally finished rubbing the mystery substance out of his eyes…

He sees Mastermind coming… King bounces off the ropes, looking for that Conqueror’s Knockout…

But Mastermind leaps! RKO-CUTTER TO ISAIAH KING! KING’S HEAD REBOUNDS OFF THE MAT!

Mastermind leaps…

Not to cover King, but the semi-conscious Geri Vayden!

The official, having seen Anthony the Jerk head back up the ramp and behind the curtain, finally rolls under the rope! He counts!

1!

2!

THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! At the last possible moment, Vayden forces the shoulder up!

HHL: Holy hell, Pip! All three of these competitors are DESPERATE to compete in that title unification match with Ned Kaye!

PIP: But with Ned Kaye looming, how much will his opponent, whoever it is, have left in the tank come next Wednesday?

HHL: We’re in the endgame now… This is truly ANYONE’S MATCH!

Mastermind, furious, grabs hold of Vayden's legs, setting her up for the Mind Controller submission!!

But Vayden manages to reverse it, shifting her weight and sending Mastermind through the ropes and to the outside!

Vayden gets up, looking out at Mastermind, then turning her attention towards a recovering King, even as...

The stadium lights cut out.

Black.

The audience begins to murmur, glancing about to make some sense of what's going about in the ring. The X-Tron crackles to life.



A spotlight shines on the top of the ramp, right under the X-Tron, but there's nobody standing underneath it.

"Every King needs his court"

The audience falls into a silence.

"Every King Needs His Queen."

The X-TRON comes to light with a new face, well not quite. A face we'd seen a few times appear in Isaiah King's promotional vignettes. His promoter, and presumably girlfriend, Chaeryeong.

Her bright red hair, and flawless skin captures the audience's attention, the only thing they can look at with a dark ring.

As Beyonce's Bow Down hits the speakers, the loud crack of metal on bone rings through the crowd, followed by a deep thud. You hear something clatter on concrete, followed by a few exclaims of surprise and confusion.

The spotlight on top of the ramp goes off for a second, and when it returns it reveals our perpetrator.



As the lights return, Chaeryeong stares directly at Isaiah, giving him a wink and turning to walk backstage.

As everyone's attention return to the ring, we see Vayden face-down on the mat, head busted open and bloodied. Isaiah stands above Vayden, his own face covered in blood splatter, his eyes wide and staring at the retreating figure of his girlfriend.

To his right, outside of the ring, is the weapon, a crumpled steel chair with specks of blood still on it.

HHL: Oh my god!

PIP: Yes! C'mon, King take advantage of it!

King looks back and forth, still looking shell-shocked. But after a second, he reaches down and pulls Vayden up. She's barely able to stay upright.

King glares at her, seeing her blood and feeling it on his face... and he reacts, taking Vayden back down with the Guillotine of Destruction!! He yells as he makes the cover, hanging on tightly.


1!





2!






3!!!!

WINNER, AND STILL TELEVISION CHAMPION: ISAIAH KING

---

Pip: Lets get back to the situation that was unfolding earlier, as our resident elf Jenny Myst was tearing up Santa’s Village in order to find her belt.

Heather: It was thievery, Pip! Thievery and it should not be tolerated! Goth should be punished immediately!

The Great Humbug Adventure is on fire. Black smoke billows from the top of the building as fire crews work diligently to stop the blaze in one of the park’s most beloved rides.

As for Myst, nowhere to be seen. An XWF camera man, coughing and shaking the camera, happens to stumble across the Reindeer Rendezvous in the top corner of the park. The Santa’s Sleigh Rail chugs in slowly above.

"Good boy Moose. Yes....such a good boy...."

The camera man comes in to sit down, getting away from the smoke and the harsh cold.

"No...no, hey Nugget be nice to Mr. Antlers. He deserves some too."

The camera turns to see Jenny, not raging, but with big eyes and a smile on her face as she hand-feeds the various reindeer within the Reindeer Rendezvous. Apparently the large fuzzy animals filled a soft spot with the X-champ, and the camera operator thought it would be a bonus-inducing moment to catch the Queen of X-Treme being cute.

Walking over, Jenny notices the camera. Due to him being alone, however, she doesn't panic right away.

"Oh hayyy! Meet my new friends! Here....bring it in close! This is Yukon Cornelius...ain't he just the cutest?! This is Olaf, Cheeseburger, and Nugget......

CHEW BACCA, YOU SHARE YOUR FOOD!

Mr. Jingles, Mr. Antlers, Jiminey Cricket, Gonzo..."

As Jenny is naming off her friends to the camera, security is surrounding the Reindeer Rendezvous.

The scene cuts to Theo Pryce, on a cell phone and being very animated.

"I know, I know, the park owners aren't happy. I mean, they booked a damn wrestling show---okay....ok, yes I'll find the belt I'll put a stop to this."

Theo brings the phone down from his ear, looking around at the destruction in the park when he bumps into someone standing in front of him. The man had his back to Theo, but turns around as soon as the two make contact. It’s Goth, and he has the X-Treme title over his shoulder.

“Mr. Pryce, pleasure to make your acquaintance on this fine evening.”

“You’ve caused a lot of headaches for the staff tonight. This is going to cost the company a lot of money to fix–”

“Much to the contrary….Jennifer has caused you issues this evening. I have been standing here the entire time, waiting for her return.”

Theo looks up to see that they are standing at the entrance to Santa's Sleigh Rail, where the X-Treme title match is to take place.

“I simply wanted to—”

“To instigate a lunatic.”

“---to wish her good luck in person.”

Theo calls someone on the phone telling them he has located the belt.

“I’ve gotta do everything around here…..” as he hangs up, “anyway….I’m gonna need you to hand that belt over.”

“Much to the con–”

“Say much to the contrary again, I’m going to punch you.”

“......This belt belongs to Ms. Myst, and I will be the one personally responsible for giving it back to her. She has to come here for her match, does she not?”

Theo sighs, putting his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

“Just give me the belt and we will forget any of this happened.”

“I shall not.”

As the two argue about the belt the XWF camera’s cut back to the one inside the Reindeer Rendezvous. The camera appears to have been set on a table or chair nearby, and some nerdy looking dude in glasses and an XWF tee is with Jenny, feeding the Reindeer. Jenny is helping him.

“Very good…see….they are friendly.”

The thin man smiles.

“I like them a lot…what is this one’s name?” He asked as he hand fed a short haired reindeer. It looked as though he had freshly been trimmed.

“That’s Shaggy.”

“He’s nice.”

The two sat for a moment, petting and rubbing the deer when the cameraman got something in his earpiece.

After a few moments he sighed, and looked at the blonde girl. She was putting a bow on one of the female reindeer (without antlers) and seemed a bit frustrated that it wouldn’t stay on her head.

“You know…uh….they….uh….they found your belt, Jen.”

Jenny turned her head slowly towards him.

“Say that again.”

“They found who has your belt. It’s at the monorail, where your match is.”

A twisted smile came over her face.

“And just who has it, may I ask?”

“Goth.”

Her lip quivered. Her face became flush.

“Theo is there now, trying to sort things out and—”

“You’ve said enough Marcus.”

“Peter”

“Jonathan…..you’re a good man, and you will be rewarded.” She gets up in a rush, taking a step towards the entrance.

Just then, the doors to the building shoot open and park staff as well as Little Feather led XWF security rush in.

Back to Santa's Sleigh Rail where Theo and Goth are still having words.

“Don’t make me have to take disciplinary action Goth, I really don’t want it to come to that.”

“For what, good sir, borrowing an item? Coming to the spot where the owner of said item will surely be, in order to give it back in person? Show me where that violates the rules.”

“You knew damn well what you were doing.”

“I was simply having a little fun, is that against the rules?”

“Nothing about Jenny Myst is fun! Nothing she does screams FUN to me. It’s all just annoying and childish and the less I have to deal with the–”

An out of breath security team member raced up to them.

“Mr. Pryce…Mr. Pryce…..there’s been a breach.”

“Oh Jesus lord, what NOW?”

“You know Christmas isn’t really Jesus’s birthday”Goth chimed in from the back, and Theo put a hand up.

”All the reindeer from the rendezvous, they got out. They trampled some employees and chased patrons…something really has them pissed off.”

“YA! HIYYAHHH!!” Jenny Myst is riding one of the reindeer like a thoroughbred, and they are charging right at the trio.

She reigned in the deer, and when it stopped she jumped off. She makes a bee line for Goth.

“You son-of-a-bit—”

Security, who has caught up now, steps in front. Little Feather grabs her around the waist as she punches and kicks towards Goth.

”See? This is the 100 pound headache you’ve created here.”

Goth grins, looking at Myst.

”So…she’s here. Give her the belt back so we can end all this. You said you would.”

Goth continued to stare at Myst, who was staring a hole through him.

He then looks at Theo and defiantly says ”No.”

”No?!”

”No?!

”I rather like the idea of holding this title. It is fitting. Regal. I would like for this belt to be mine.”

”It’s NOT yours you sniveling little cum sock. I beat you, you’re jealous, not my problem! GIVE ME BACK MY BELT!

Theo was about to step in and say something, when the reindeer Jenny rode in on began nibbling on the back pocket of his pants. He turns around, trying to smack it off.

”Mr. Antlers! Knock it off!”

Theo puts two fingers on his forehead, the show quickly spiraling into madness.

”He’s just hungry, don’t mind him.”

Theo looks at Goth.

”You weak, worthless shell of a man. How about you DO YOUR JOB and stop entertaining these low lifes who–”

”What do you want?” He asks Goth, ignoring Jenny’s sudden emotional explosion behind him.

”A title shot.”

”Psssht.”

”Done.

Goth grins.

”WHAT?!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND YOU CHEAP SUIT WEARING ASSCLO–”

”It may not be next show, or next after that. Hell, it may be at Snow Job or maybe even the Pay Per View after. Where we can fit it in, I don’t know. But you’ll get what you want? Okay? Now, just give me the belt so we can start this match. And next time Goth, if you want a fucking title shot just ask. There's no need for the theatrics.”

Goth seems satisfied and hands the belt to security. Jenny tries to wriggle away from Little Feather and even ends up spraying him with the mace canister from her bra.

Theo turns to Jenny.

”As for you. I’d quit your bitching and get to the monorail station. You’ve got a match.”

He smiles, looking towards the boarding dock.

”It appears your opponent is has already begun.”

They both turn and look as XWF officials are hanging the belt from the the pole near the rail, and John Madison Jr. is climbing the steps to the Santa's Sleigh Rail like Golum approaching his precious.

”UGH! Come on, Mr. Antlers.”

The two head off towards the monorail station. Goth walks away. Theo takes a deep breath.

”I don’t pay me enough for this.”

---

JENNY MYST © - vs - JOHN MADISON JR. Santa's Sleigh Rail Match The match begins at the station for the Skyway Sleigh Monorail. Both competitors fight until the monorail boards into the station. You must win by boarding the monorail before it departs, and reach out from within the vehicle travelling at low speeds in order to grab the Xtreme Championship hanging on a pole near the rail. 1 RP - Savage Rules

Jenny rides Mr. Antlers up the step, wielding her baseball bat like a javelin. They are quickly catching up to John Madison, who is drooling with excitement, thinking he has the upper hand. When they get within range, Jenny throws the bat end first like a javelin and strikes Madison right in the upper back. He stumbles as Jenny rears her reindeer pal.

”Whooaaaaa buddy. That’s enough.”

Madison is getting back up, seeming surprised by the sudden bat attack to his back.

”You think you’re slick, huh? You think you were gonna pull one over on ol’ Jenny, huh?”

She takes him by the head and throws him into the concourse wall, smacking off of it. He goes down and rolls away, Jenny begins to kick him in the back and side.

He is getting to his feet, on all fours. Jenny pulls the fire extinguisher off the wall and smacks it across his back.

”This is MY title. MINE!”

Pip: Didn’t she say over and over again that it wasn’t about titles for her?

Heather: That belt does funny things to people. Seems to have her brainwashed.

Jenny picks up Madison again and tosses him into the ticket booth window. The heavyset lady behind the glass shrieks and drops her honeybun.

The two battle along the ticket lobby, with Jenny bouncing John Madison Jr. off of everything in sight. Madison, out of desperation, pokes Jenny in the eyes to back her off. When she recoils, holding her eye, Madison takes a handful of hair and tosses her door of the bathroom, knocking it open as she rolls inside. He follows her into the bathroom as she uses the sink to get herself to her feet. Madison bounces her head off the sink and then kicks her in the chest, sending her through the stall door as it crashes down and onto the toilet.

He picks up the door and tosses it aside. Jenny is getting up off the toilet and he knees her hard in the gut. She drops to knees holding her stomach and Madison grabs a handful of hair.

SWIRLY TIME!!

Jenny’s eyes go wide as she puts her hands on the bowl, trying to push back against her head being forced in it. Madison is screeching like a banshee yelling SWIIIIRRRLLLLYYYYY.

Jenny’s face is close to the piss water when, out of desperation, she kicks a leg back and connects with the junk of Madison Jr. His eyes cross and he holds his nuts as he goes to his knees. Jenny bounces his head off the stall as she walks away, dry heaving from the smell. Her head perks up when she hears a voice over the loudspeaker.

“SANTA’S SLEIGH APPROACHING THE STATION, T MINUS 5 MINUTES. PLEASE HAVE ALL TICKETS READY.”

”Shit.”

Pip: That monorail is slower than Santa after a knee replacement…..if she doesn’t get on now we may not see this match conclude before Savage goes off the air!

Jenny looks for the monorail entrance, and when she finds the door she goes to open it.

”Excuse me, ma’am but you need a ticket to ride the monorail.”

Jenny sighed, looking at the woman who now has a new honeybun, and a fresh cup of hot chocolate.

”I need to get up to the monorail station, lady! I am in the middle of a match, I don’t exactly have my wallet with me…..”

”Well, maybe you can make the next one. Santa’s Sleigh will return in 35 minut—-AHHHHH”

John Madison had emerged from the bathroom and grabbed Jenny by the hair, slamming her head off the ticket window this time as the woman behind it screamed, her hot cocoa spilling all over her sweater and her honeybun hitting the floor again.

Jenny battled back, as the two exchange blows in the middle of the ticket lobby. The voice came on the loudspeaker again.

“SANTA’S SLEIGH ARRIVING IN THREE MINUTES”

Jenny kicks Madison in the gut and lands a DDT through the table, sending magazines and assorted liquorice treats everywhere. Getting up and panting, she makes her way to the door. Still locked and the traumatized woman behind the ticket window was no help. Madison was beginning to stir so Jenny did something out of desperation. She walked over and picked up John Madison Jr., tossing him back first into the door to the monorail docking station. She runs and shoulder blocks him into the door. It buckled but didn't break.

”UGH”

She stands him back up and runs from across the ticket office, slamming her full body into him again. Again, the door doesn’t break down.

“SANTA’S SLEIGH ARRIVING IN TWO MINUTES”

Jenny is distraught. She can’t believe she can’t get the door open. Just when she is about to try one more desperate time, a “pppppppssshhhhhttt” sound and turns her head. It was Mr. Antlers!

She jumps on his back and charges. The reindeer blows through Madison and the door, the force of it throwing Jenny from its back. She lands hard on the steps, her face and elbows scraped up from the concrete. She looks up, and sees the belt hanging from the pole. She wills herself up. The horn from Santa’s sleigh can be heard as the open air monorail approaches the station.

As she goes to run up the steps, John Madison Jr.’s hand reaches out and grabs her ankle, tripping her. She kicks it away and continues to run. Looking back, he is pulling himself out of the wreckage.

Jenny stands, waiting for the people to get off the monorail ride. Old women, families with small children, grown men with ugly sweaters.

”Come on come on come on!”

When enough people get off the ride for her to get on, she makes her way on. jJohn Madison is now there, in the sleigh car with her. He elbows her hard in the back of the head and Jenny stumbles to the edge, almost falling out onto the tracks!

She catches herself. The two exchange blows in the middle of the sleigh car as suddenly they both lose balance–the monorail begins to move!

Jenny swings, Madison lifts her up over his head trying to dump her out of the car. Jenny lands on the edge, and balances, reaching out for the belt. Madison tries to shove her from behind. She wobbles, and as the belt gets closer knows she needs to do something. She can’t spend a half an hour in this cart with him! She backflips, landing behind him. Whipping the mace out of her bra, she sprays him in the face just as he turns around. The harsh pepper chemical and the cold air makes it excruciating for JMJ. He yells out and grabs his eyes as Jenny shoves him.

Pip: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Heather: Look out below!!

John Madison Jr. falls off the moving monorail, plummeting to earth and landing, luckily, on the roof of the food court which broke his fall. Jenny looks down briefly, but quickly remembers and looks out, reaching out. She grabs the X-Title and pulls it close to her chest.

WINNER AND STILL XWF X-TREME CHAMPION: JENNY MYST

Pip: She did it, Heather. Through hell and high water, she did it!

Heather: She went through a lot of adversity tonight, but on the final Savage ever Jenny Myst retains her title and sends us out the right way!

Pip: Ugh. Women.

Hugging it tight, she pouts however, realizing she is stuck on this ride until it gets back to the station. Bruised and scraped up, she lays back with the title on her chest, a smile across her face.

---

We go to an old manor as snow falls heavily, covering the ground in a white blanket.



Atara Raven enters the scene first in her ring gear, leaving imprints in the snow as Aphrodite Incarnate walks towards the house and throws the door open and enters; she brushes flakes of snow from her shoulders as she strolls down the hall before stopping for a moment hearing music above and makes her way up the stairs with a steely determination.

HHL: She must be cold wearing that.

PIP: Nah, she's way too HOT to be affected by the cold.

Atty is on the landing, looking at old pictures as the music gets louder as she walks closer to the sound until...



Universal Champion Mark Flynn walks out of the bedroom wearing a nightcap and a sleeping gown, he holds up a candle to get a better look at his opponent and scowls.

MARK FLYNN © - vs - ATARA RAVEN Ghosts of Christmas Match for the XWF Universal Championship The match will take place in Ebeneezer Scrooge's old house in the Great Humbug Adventure. Throughout the match, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future will appear to haunt the competitors. Win by pinfall or submission. 1 RP - Unlimited Words

PIP: Oh my god, Flynn looks sooooo comfortable in that!

HHL: He does rock it not gonna lie... Why is he wearing it though?

PIP: He's the champ Heather, he does what he wants.

HHL: ... That does look really cozy.

Flynn blows out the candle and places it down as he is cool about fire safety and steps out into the hall properly to face Atara. The two rush at one another in the tight space and meet in the center; Flynn throws first with a lariat but Atara ducks under the strike and throws an elbow into Flynn's ribs knocking him aside but the champ retorts with a quick knee and smashes Atara who hits the handrail and almost goes over but keeps her footing; Flynn goes old school with a double axe-handle but Atara rolls away and Flynn smashes his hands against the hard wood and lets out a groan in pain as Mrs. Raven kicks off the wall and nails Mark Flynn with a side kick sending over the handrail and his spine hits the stairs. As Flynn's eyes go wide and he lets out a rasp of a groan Atara risks it by hopping over the railing and goes for an elbow drop!

But Flynn throws his body forward and rolls down the stairs as Atty hits the steps and bounces up before double covering in pain and cradles her elbow. Flynn scrambles on the ground and heads to the side of the stairs and reaches through the railings and grabs Atara's hurt arm dragging it through the balustrade trapping it between two rails and whips it back; Atara lets out a loud scream and hold her arm close to her chest.

HHL: Damn, think I heard something snap!

As Atara picks herself up on the steps Mark Flynn makes his way to the base of the stairs but stops short as a ghostly green glow shines and a figure appears from thin air.

???: "OoooOOOOooooOOOhhhh I'm a spooky ghoooOOOOooooOOOst!"

Mark Flynn freaks the fuck out, screaming in horror and falling back. Atara Raven sits shocked near the top of the steps as the glow begins to fade and the figure can be seen clearly.



PIP: Huh, The Judge!

HHL: Who?

PIP: The Judge! It was the machine behind Savage Saturday Night back in 2016.

HHL: Oh, neat... Wait Savage Saturday Night? Not Saturday Night Savage?

PIP: Yeah, it sounded better back then.

The Judge looks between the two, his smiling face unchanging.

THE JUDGE: Wait, have you two been fighting already? Wow, I LOVE your eagerness! Anyway, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past in case you haven't guessed and I'm here to show you two the error of your ways! ... Or something.

Atara and Flynn look at the robotic ghost and then move their heads to the side to eye one another before turning back to The Judge.

FLYNN: I have literally zero regrets.

ATARA: Yeah my life's pretty good besides meeting a few dicks.

Flynn scoffs to himself.

FLYNN: Just a few?

Atara gives a mocking laugh as The Judge gives a real laugh.

THE JUDGE: Well no matter! Plan B it is! You guys have problems you need to work through and I know a great place to help you crazy kids get through this.

The green glow returns and grows brighter and brighter until it fills the screen and we fade away from the house and go to a full arena.



GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: What's the haps, party people! Welcome to fuckin' Savage Saturday Night! I'm Gaylord Cockshafer, yes that is my real name, it's 2016 roll with it!

MIKE STUMP: And I'm Mike Stump and if you can't tell I'm the play-by-play guy, my name is a little more subtle but you know what isn't subtle? Savage Saturday Night, baby! And we've got a great show tonight!

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: Yeeeeeeeeeeah boii! Like Britain, voting to leave the EU which is very current right now we're leaving the pleasantries at the door with our first match as Samson Chernikov goes head-to-head against Drezdin!

Suddenly, Mark Flynn and Atara Themis drop into the ring along with The Judge who is wearing a ref shirt... Somehow.

MIKE STUMP: Hold on a tick, Gaylord, is that our General Manager in there with some babe and what looks to be former employee Mark Flynn!?

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: That is Mark Flynn! But he looks old and shitty now! What is that hobo doing here!? GET HIM GONE!

Meanwhile in the ring.

THE JUDGE: Okay you two, this is much better than a cramped-up house with an old man smell, back in 2016 we got zero rules and less influence from Twitter! So you two can go nuts with fewer repercussions!

The Judge calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Mark Flynn gets up first with a growl and tears off his gown and cap exposing his ring gear as Atara rolls her arm and squares up to the champ as the crowd say things we can't repeat in 2022.

MIKE STUMP: Looks like The Judge has got us a new match on the fly! An unemployed Mark Flynn versus some chick? Do you have any idea who this woman is, Gaylord?

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: I'm gonna call her Titz Fuckable because I'm a dick and it's 2016 and sadly we as a company still have a lot to work on!

Mark and Atara lock up; Flynn manages to get the upper-hand twisting at Atara's bad arm and wrenches it behind her back Atara hisses in pain but manages to throw her head back before Flynn can transition and breaks the hold; Atty follows up with a back elbow before whipping Flynn into the opposite ropes, Atara walks forward and drops to the ground as Flynn jumps over her and hits the ropes once again into a beautiful standing Frankensteiner from Atara Themis and she hooks both of Flynn's legs as she pins his shoulders down with her knees, The Judge begins to count.

1!







...







Quick kick out at 2!

MIKE STUMP: Great move from Titz there.

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: Yeah for a woman!

Flynn gets a leg up and hooks Atara's arm and throws her down onto the mat and rolls Atara onto her front as Flynn transitions into a Boston Crab! Raven quickly scrambles and manages to get a hand onto the bottom rope as The Judge gets into Flynn's face to break the hold, he begins to count and Flynn drops Raven's legs at the last possible second; Flynn turns around and drags Atara into the center of the ring by her legs before stomping down on her sternum and delivering a nasty kick to her back as she doubles over in pain. The Champ then drops a knee aiming for Atara's head who manages to roll out of the way and spins around to deliver a kick to Mark Flynn's jaw; Flynn drops to the mat and Atara keeps on top of him, wrapping her arms around his waist and forcing back up before dropping him back to the mat with a perfect German Suplex, the pair fall apart and Atara rushes to Flynn but is stopped short by a quick eye poke from Mark Flynn!

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: That dirty cheat! No wonder he was fired!

MIKE STUMP: ... Was he fired?

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: Whose side are you on, Stump?

Both competitors are on their knees, Atara hold her eye and Mark Flynn capitalizes by delivering a brutal chop across Atara's chest! The sound echoes through the arena as the crowd give out a loud "OOH", Atty hisses and comes back with her own, louder than Flynn's by a margin and the crowd react the same. Flynn chops again, then Atara gives a chop of her own the crowd going back and forth as each wrestler returns with chop after chop both their chests turning a bright bruised red while the 2016 crowd eat this shit up until Atty manages to wind Flynn and then finishes off the contest with a step-up enziguri!

Flynn drops to the mat as Atara catches her breath before heading towards the corner and climbs the top rope aiming her sights towards Mark Flynn who surprises Atara by rushing to his feet and getting to the ropes, he leaps up, hits the middle rope and springboards off with a dropkick to Atara's midsection! Raven drops and is in a seated position on the top turnbuckle, Flynn gets to the second rope and locks Atara into a suplex and delivers a Northen Lights Suplex to Raven! The pair land hard as Flynn keeps Atara's leg hooked! The Judge begins the count!

1


...


TW-KICKOUT!

Another kick out at 2! Flynn stays on the mat looking at the lights as he drags his palms down his face as Atara gets some breathing room, The Judge looks over them both.

THE JUDGE: Wow, you two sure are evenly matched! Shame this is the opener and you're going way too long!

The Judge turns to the ramp and shouts loudly.

THE JUDGE: Bring out THE GUILLOTINE!!!

The crowd go wild as a guillotine is rolled out and is placed at ringside, security begin to file in and make their way to the competitors.

GAYLORD COCKSHAFER: YES! Let's behead some bitches!

MIKE STUMP: If people underperform or in this case overperform in the opener, they get shown the guillotine! As is they style in the year of our lord 2016.

Mark Flynn is dragged out of the ring and placed in the hold, the large blade shines above him as The Judge leaves the ring, now donning an executioner's mask... Somehow. As he releases the mechanism and the blades comes down, Flynn shuts his eyes tight.

???: Yeah, no.

And we find ourselves back in Scrooge's home. Flynn kneeled down slowly opens one of his eyes and looks around, Atara sits up a few feet behind him as they both find themselves in a cosy living room two spectral men looking at them.

???: Universal Champ getting beheaded live on TV isn't a good look for us.

Liam Desmond remarks, standing beside Johnathon Barrows both are bathed in a white glow.

BARROWS: Check it out, we're ghosts!

DESMOND: Specifically, ghosts of Christmas present... Or Savage present? Since that's more what it looks like we're doing?

BARROWS: Eh, apples and oranges. Anyway, we booked you two to fight in this dusty old house and that's what you're doing so give us a nice 5 star classic!

Barrows gives a thumbs-up as Flynn rolls his eyes.

HHL: Oh cool they're back!

PIP: They're back? Fuck them, WE'RE BACK! What the fuck was that!?

Liam Desmond hold up a ring bell out of nowhere and Johnathon Barrows rings it.

DING! DING! DING!

As Flynn begins to get up he is blindsided by a running knee from Atara and Flynn drops down to the ornate rug underneath him; he grumbles to himself on the ground as Atara steps over him and picks him up; grabbing his collar and waist before throwing him into a cabinet of knick-knacks and old man crap; glass shatters and wood breaks as Flynn crawls on the ground, his body dropping under the pain; Atara rolls her arm again and gets to Flynn who throws shards of glass in Atara's face as she gets close, his hand now bloody as Raven covers her face and falls back over the coffee table in the room.

Flynn gets up shakily and his hand lands on a grandfather clock in the room, he looks at Atty blind on the ground and back to the clock which he drags over and drops it onto Atara which lands forcefully onto her arm. Raven screams in agony to the tune of the clock sounding.

HHL: Jesus Christ that's just malicious.

Flynn falls forward on top of Atara for the pin! Liam Desmond goes for the count!

1

...

2

...

THR-NO!

Atara gets her free shoulder up and throws Flynn off her before ripping her arm out from under the grandfather clock which drops at her side as she cradles it. Mark Flynn takes deeo breaths before throwing a tantrum on the ground, punching into the floor and screaming manically. Flynn gets to his feet first and seethes with rage looking at Atara on her knee, he gives a quick kick to her arm before getting in her face and screaming at her, berating her before slapping her across the face and spitting down on the ground. Flynn grabs a handful of Raven's hair and picks her up and immediately snaps into a front facelock.

PIP: Flynn looking to end things!

Flynn transitions into a suplex!

HHL: It's THE END!

OR NOT!

As Atara breaks free as Flynn hold her in the air for a few seconds too long and Raven drops behind Mark Flynn!

Atara kicks the base of Flynn's spine and he trips over the coffee table before falling into the couch! Atara, running on adrenaline rushes the couch and picks up Flynn with her good arm, Atara hold Flynn on top of the couch and faces the large bay window behind the couch.

HHL: FROM A DOVE!!!

PIP: THROUGH THE GODDAMN WINDOW!!!

The pair smash through the glass and get cut to shreds as they crash into the cold snow which is slowly picking up. The white snow turns red as blood seeps out of both competitors and the ghostly forms of Liam Desmond and John Barrows check on each wrestler, making sure they're still able to fight.

HHL: This could be a draw!

PIP: No chance, neither one of them would want that. Flynn wants to show people what the optimal path can do, he doesn't draw, he wins. And Atara Raven? ... Well, Atty Smash and Atty ain't done smashing yet.

After some time Mark Flynn manages to catch his bearings and his eyes meet with a small child on a crutch. The child coughs looking at Mark.

FLYNN: You there! BOY! What day is it?

TINY TIM: Why it's Saturday, sir!

FLYNN: No, it's your lucky day. This is the start of a glorious journey for you.

Flynn reaches forward and snatches the crutch form the child who fumbles over and fall onto the ground, Flynn spins around and uses the crutch to push himself up before rushing Atara who is getting up at this time too and smashes the small wooden crutch over her head! The crutch bursts into splinters and Flynn drops down on top of Raven!

But no count starts!

The snow now turning into a full-on blizzard that whites out the scene and eventually stops. As the snow dies down, Mark Flynn and Atara Raven are laying beside each other both breathing heavily, soaked in blood and covered in tiny cuts from the glass. Their eyes scout the area, a lonely hill in the middle of nowhere. The eery silence is broken by the voice of a California surfer dude.

???: Hey babies!

Atara and Mark sit up and lock eyes with DICK POWERS, in a sexy sequined Santa catsuit. Mark's head drops as Atara raises an eyebrow.

DICK: Ghost of Christmas FUCKture here to thrust your pretty asses to its climax.

Dick gives a wink and Atara gags a little.

ATARA: Ugh, they make you a GM?

DICK: Ew! A GM? No sweetie I OWN the XWF! And you two are gonna finish this here and now with a special condition.

Dick dances over towards an open grave and sits atop a blank gravestone.

DICK: Time to face your future, fuckos. Now I'll hush up and let the best commentary team in the business do the talking for me.

Dick Powers thrusts rhythmically.

DONG! DONG! DONG!

Atara and Flynn appear mentally defeated as they sit beside each other before Raven throws a forearm into Flynn's nose and two begin to brawl trading strikes in the snow.

LIL CA$H APP: Sheeeeiii these two going for it, G!

MC C-MUNQQQUE: Damn straight, bro, these mofos brawlin'

DARREN DANGEROUS: FUCK YEAH! MAKE EM BLEED!

Atara Raven manages to get the upper hand in the fist fight and begins to throw rights into Flynn's mush as she gets on top of him, her damaged arm stuck at her side until Flynn sees an opening and blocks a strike before manoeuvring his legs out from under Atara and manages to wrap her up, getting a tight hold of Atara's hurt arm and locks in...

MC C-MUNQQQUE: Fuji-mawa ... Fujiwawara... Fubi-

LIL CA$H APP: Japanese Armbar, son! Atty's fucked!



Darren Dangerous smashes a light tube over his head.



The Fujiwara Armbar is locked in tight as Atara screams in agony but refuses to tap!



Her arm on the verge of breaking.



Mark Flynn roaring for her to give in.



And finally...




Atty has no choice to tap!



















BUT SHE REFUSES!!!







For a brief second Mark Flynn loosens his grip which Atara takes advantage of and turns her body around, with all of her remaining strength she manages to lift Flynn off the ground and slams him down hard on the ground mere inches away from the open grave.

The two take a breather for a few seconds, Atty gets to her feet first cradling her arm. As Flynn drunkenly begins to his feet, Atara charges in!





SHE LEAPS!







AND!











LIL CA$H APP: JUDGEMENT OF PARIS, SON!

Darren Dangerous eats glass.






BUT FLYNN DROPS AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!






ATARA CLEARS THE GRAVES BUT TEETERS FOR A MOMENT!






FLYNN RUSHES IN AND GETS A KNEE TO THE BACK OF ATARA'S SPINE!






MC C-MUNQQQUE: REVERSE DDT, YO!






CROSS RHODES!!!!





LOGICAL CONCLUSION!!!





AND THE TWO FALL INTO THE GRAVE!!!






Dick Powers steps up and looks down...






And Mark Flynn is on top of Atara Raven!




Powers grimaces and begins to count!


1

























...



















2



















...



















THREE!!!!

WINNER AND STILL UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - MARK FLYNN

---

Just as the show is fading to black, the XWF cameras come back to Jenny and the cameraman from the earlier segment. They are sitting around a fire, snow is falling behind them.

Jenny pulls a piece of meat from the large animal on the spitroast. She blows on it first, as to not burn her mouth. The X-Treme title sits on a chair next to her–never leaving her sight.

She takes a big bite.

”Mmm….oh….this is so good, you gotta try this.”

”I…uh….I have some dietary restrictions. I don’t eat meat.”

”You don’t know what you’re missing…..” she says between chews. ”Come on…its the Holiday’s….its time to celebrate. I mean, afterall, you helped me…..you told me where my belt was…..Benjamin….”

”It’s….Peter…..”

[puple]”Sebastian….come on….YOU SAVED CHRISTMAS! This show wouldn’t have been the same without your brave heroics!”[/purple]

She offers a leg to the camerman.

”I appreciate it, Ms. Myst, I do….but I can’t. I’ll get sick.”

”Sick…huh…..”

Jenny reaches back into a cooler behind her, popping it open.

”What was the name of that reindeer you liked so much, the nice one with the hair?”

”You named him Shaggy, remember?

”Ahhh yes….Shaggy…shaggy…..okay…..

She pulled a large piece of raw meat out of the cooler and handed it to him.

”You liked him so much….that twinkle in your eyes. OOOOH It was the Christmas spirit, I’ll tell ya! You liked him so much, I figured you’d wanna take him with you. Least I could do for helping me out.”

The young cameraman looked down at the dripping meat that Jenny shoved into his palm.

”You mean this……that’s………oh god….”

He begins to dry heave as he runs off camera.

Jenny shrugs, taking another bite of reindeer meat.

She repositions the camera, and laughs as deer blood runs down her face.

“MERRY SAVAGE TO ALL……AND TO ALL……A GOODNIGHT!”

Laughing and puking can be heard as the camera pans away to a ruined and burning Santa’s Village, XWF logo engulfing the screen before it finally goes black.

---

Special Thanks To: Doctor Louis D'Ville Atticus Gold Jenny Myst Charlie Nickles Savage GMs And everyone who roleplayed or submitted a segment!

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