Doc sits alone in this dank place.  He rests on a large chair as a fire blazes behind him, tall and wide, and reaches out from its home, scraping and clawing out as far as it possibly can.  The walls move and moan around him, shifting and squelching like living muscle.  Hums and screams of what sounds like people from inside slither and push as if they were attempting to escape.  The doctor takes a long drag from a cigar and a deep breath.


Hello, my friends!  My name is Doctor Louis D'Ville.  It's been a long time!  Too long, am I right?  I'm sure you all have lots of questions and lots to tell me.  There's no doubt that I've missed a lot in the last several months and I'm looking forward to hearing all of the stories you have to share!  I'm very much looking forward to catching up with some old friends and maybe even creating some new ones! 

I can't wait to catch up with all of my old friends and look forward to making some new ones!  There is, in fact, much reward to these types of extended holidays.  You know what the best part is?

The big return, of course!  Especially after things change or even evolve a bit.  There's a whole new wave XWF'rs roaming the halls now and the ones that seemed to lose themselves in the mix have broken out of their little shells and trapped themselves in even bigger ones.  It's fascinating to let go of the strings every couple of years and let the puppets dance on their own.  Just look at what some can accomplish without my shadow looming over their heads.  There is still no doubt in my mind that this is the most fine federation there is, but you have to admit that the heat in the place has been turned from 'High' down to a 'Med-Low' at most these days.

There's a lot of things to consider here, of course.  Just look at what leads the pack now.  A tag team that would have no business even competing as a tag team a year ago currently holding the titles against…  Hmm..  Not too many other tag teams.  It seems once I washed my hands of Doctinuum and the Bastards had their own special run, the excitement level of the whole division dropped off.  That's how she goes sometimes, I guess?  I'll admit when I carried the things, not too many people stood in line for a shot at them.  A few fools did, but they were easily disposed of each and every time.  I see Jenny Myst holds the Xtreme Title which is half-laughable and half-cryable.  Every so often the little squirrel finds a nut, but ya know what happens with that nut right?  The idiot loses it.  Jenny is a little nutty and without a doubt some kind of idiot…  So, we can all look forward to that for the second most prestigious title on the shelf.  And, of course, Mark Flynn leading the pack with the precious Universal Championship.  There's a lot to say about this guy, really, and we just don't have the time for that today.  I'm sure, however, there will be time down the road.  To keep her short and sweet, Mark Flynn took a lot longer to climb that proverbial mountain that Chris Page takes to get a good point across.  He's still brushing off the ashes from an era that would have burned him alive.

I would include a couple of more titles in my little rant here, but in the near future one of them is going bye-bye…  but I can't walk away without mentioning the Supercontinental Title a little bit.  It's actually going to lead us straight into the meat and potatoes that everyone's probably craving for at this point.

When Charlie Nickles called me out recently to take part in the XWF classic match, the Rooftop Clatter Spectacular, I honestly couldn't wait.  I accepted, of course, and cleared the calendar for what's going to be yet another epic defeat for the Nickelman.  I can't look past the fact that Charlie is, in fact, the most experienced competitor in this style of match.  He and I opened with the first one, where I took that bearded little troll and shoved him straight down a chimney.  Charlie got redemption the following year after defeating some punk in the match, but I was sure to make my presence known in the match and assured Charlie that it would not be the last that we would meet under those circumstances.  I kept my promise ladies and gentlemen and the DOCTOR IS IN.

The reason I brought up the Supercontinental Title was because I was looking forward to beating Charlie as a champion once again as I've done in the past.  He's like a stupid dog that you run their nose through a mess they've made.  It's too bad he didn't have what it took to hang onto for a couple of more weeks.  Just like the Television Title, the first time we fought, I have no interest in taking gold from this man.  His pride?  Sure.  His spirit?  Definitely.  But to rob this man of his precious, hard earned gold is just cruel, my friends.  After all, he hardly needs my helping hand to lose them anyway.  As he challenged me for this match, he was so decorated in gold that he looked done up like an XWFmas tree!  All those titles shimmering around you from not just here, but other places outside of this glorious universe.  Seeing that made accepting the challenge even more enticing because kicking around the same old rotting piece of meat over and over again gets old.  Maybe Charlie having all of this gold meant that….  Oh just maybe!  Maybe he's improved during my time away.

Womp.  Womp.

Improved?  Perhaps.  Charlie never had what it took to win the big game or go the long distance.  He's able to complete these little mini-goals along the way, pick up some titles…. Sure!  But when it comes to getting the job done when it really, really counts?  The biggest face-plant you can imagine.  The problem is those little goals that just keep popping up and falling so easily onto his lap?  That's the low hanging fruit that people like him crave and fight over.  That guy IS lazy, without a doubt, so the low-hanging fruit is even more enticing for fellows like him.  I'm sure in some way, shape, or form that each of those titles he's won in the past or maybe even sharing XWFmas morning with were just that.  Either that or grabbed off the coattails of a certain group of bastardly gentlemen.  Either way, Charlie's hand needs a hand to guide him or else he'll drop the ball like always.  It all has to just fall in his lap because if he truly puts his heart into something and tries, he fails miserably.  Every-single-time.  Take the situation he's in now, for example.  Of all the feats to accomplish in his life, on his bucket list, whatever…  I'm at the top.  Oh, I guarantee it, my friends.  No doubt in my mind.  Of all the titles in the universe, of all that could be had, that elusive "W" over your's truly is all he thinks about day in and day out.  It keeps him up at night.  It haunts him.  I mean, it's a good goal to have!  Many people still have it to this day and a short few can even reach close to it.  A good goal, indeed…  And I'm sure there's an even darker place in that mind of his where a little bit of optimism lives and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside giving him the illusion that someday that would even be possible.  Unfortunately for Charlie though…  In that sick, demented, twisted, disgusting mind of his is a place that homes the excrutiating FACT that he will never achieve it.

Never say never, though, right?  Again, great mentality to have for the Nickelman.  I give the guy enough credit!  To him, the climb doesn't matter.  He will climb and climb and climb some more just to fall flat after it's all said and done.  But no matter how far or how hard he falls, he ignores the bell and asks for more.  He basically begs for it!  For months, he pushed and begged and harassed until he finally had his shot at a Universal Title.  There wasn't a single person under the sun that believed the Nickelman was going to pull that one out.  But, in good faith, we all stood around and watched as a man got torn from limb to limb.  Maybe there was or maybe still is someone out there, somewhere, that believes in Charlie Nickels.  Maybe in a distant reality between and through space and time there's some nerd on podcast talking about THIS moment being Charlie's moment.  Discussing how the good doctor has just been down and out for far too long that THIS….  THIS RIGHT HERE!!  Is the Nickelman's time to shine…  Ugh…  Could you imagine?  Could anyone imagine if Charlie Nickels walked out into an XWF arena holding the Universal Championship?  That's not an XWF I want.  I don't want it for myself or any sad fellow or lady that has the unfortunate fate to wind up in a place like that.  We've had some pretty down in the dumps times around here and some guys that we couldn't wait to cut the cord off of, but to even THINK about Charlie Nickels being a constant headline around here is just absurd.

I'm sure Charlie might find his day some day.  It just won't be here.  I'm sure he'll be polishing whatever gold he might have left hanging around by the thread and I'm looking forward to hearing him rant and rave about all of those accomplishments he has in a land too far away to care about.  But remember boys and girls, that's all just filler for what he's missing when it comes to going head to head with me.  That canyon in his soul that you could fill with a thousand Universal Titles and still never fill.

Doc reaches down beside his chair and pulls a large book out and rests it on his lap.  He takes another long drag from his cigar and lets it rest beside him in an ashtray and slowly opens up the book.

I have a special treat for you all.  Tonight, I wish to tell you all story.  An XWFmas story…  Not your typical one either with gifts and cooked gooses and stockings and Satan Clause….  Oh no, not quite.  You'll have all of that fun stuff along with ghosts, demons, some violence, and adventure!  So please, gather around and give a listen to the latest Chronicle of Doctor Louis D'Ville!

---

---

'Twas a dark and stormy night.

Unknown Soldier was dead: to begin with.  There is no doubt whatever about it.  Dead as a door-nail.  Deceased.  Kicked the bucket.  Goner.  At least it was that way for Doc D'Ville.  It's been nearly seven years since their partnership severed and he was left to go into business for himself.  Which he did, indeed.

Time went on as it would have with or without Soldier.  Most people steered clear of the duo back when they were a pair, for good reason; the two were already quite renowned.  When the good doctor took on new partners or faced the world alone, folks with the know continued to mind their own business far away from his.  They would hug the walls and divide in the streets.  They would veer their stare and steer their eyes from his glare, avoiding him at all costs the same as they ever did.  He was a loner by nature, and made it clear to those who deserved no place next to his.

Doc hobbled down the snow covered, filthy streets of the XWF.  He kicked dirt and paid no mind to the handful of frightened people speaking under their breaths to one another as he passed.  Others, went about their day as normal, and occupied the streets as they have day in and day out for some time now.

Mastermind, the master of minds, was among those people and was selling white cotton "I Mastered Your Mind!" high-collared shirts from a booth just outside the Drunken Barney, the town's only tavern owned by XWF hardcore-legend Barney Green.  Atara and James Raven walk out and down the steps, arm-in-arm, ignoring the master of minds as he holds out a shirt and attempts to peddle it in the kindest possible way imaginable. 

Down the street, a number of ladies dressed in skimpy lingerie and football jerseys shivered from the cold and huddled around a burn barrel smoking cigarettes. 

Peter Vaughn strolled along, whistling a tune, shoving a push broom and cleaning the streets as he did every night. 

At the town center, people gathered in a circle around Mark Flynn as he explained a new conspiracy theory surrounding the significance of Saturdays opposed to Wednesdays.  He also used this time, as he did each day, to celebrate his such n' such day as Universal Champion.  Here, he was able to be as loud and as obnoxious as he pleased.

Doc continued on marching through the street, paying no mind to any of it.  He held a frown and kept his eyes to the ground, until he reached his old office building at the far end of town.

As he barged through the door, snow and wind rushed past him scattering documents all across the office.  Theo Pryce sat alone at his desk, looking annoyed and holding all of his own materials tightly, protecting them from the same fate.  As Doc slams the door, Theo's grimace lightens up a bit.

"Evening, Doctor."

"What of it?"

Doc walked past without stopping or changing his line of sight.

"Nothing," Theo shrugged. "Just pointing out the time of day."

"I have a watch." Doc replied smugly as he continued to the back of the room where he found his desk and his place behind it. 

Armed with a feathered quill in his hand, he went to war on his work.  Theo, on the other hand, cleaned up his desk and tucked everything away for the night.  He stood and drew a jacket from a close-by nail and threw it over his shoulders.  Doc stopped writing and peered up from his work.

"Where are you off to?"

"Well, in the evening, Doc, I go home," Theo said as he wrapped a thick, wooly scarf around his neck.

Doc would normally fantasize of strangling a person with such a thing, but he and Mr. Pryce shared a long enough and decent history together.  Their business was good business and you could even say there was a faint flame of friendship or respect that burned between them.  Theo was cold, and the doctor even colder, so it was difficult to notice at times.

"You're working late, I presume?"

"Mhhm." Doc grumbled, "Still much to do."

"You've said that…  'So much to do!  Too busy!  No time!'" Theo mocks the doctor's raspy, growly voice.  "You wouldn't be so uptight if you took a break from time to time.  Maybe show up to a Warfare once in a while and blow off some steam."

"Bah!" shouted Doc, "Humbug!"

Doc lowered himself back into his work, writing off Theo for the evening as Theo did him.  Heading towards the door, Doc spoke up again without lifting his head.

"See you bright and early then?"

"Unlikely.  It's XWFmas morning, Doc.  Normal people don't work then, you know."

"Normal?  Credit goes to the man in the arena, my friend, not the man who takes holidays." 

Theo figured this was the end of their conversation and reached for the door handle.  Before he could grip it, the door swung open accompanied with more wind and snow and two men covered in the weather themselves.  Taking a step back, Theo allowed them to enter and brush themselves off.

"Gator?  Todd?  What brings you two out this XWFmas Eve?"

Gator, in his normal red jumpsuit accompanied by a red Santa hat, and his sidekick Todd, bundled up from head-to-toe with a scarf wrapped around his mouth, stood with them in the cold office.

"Mrfmrhmrmrmr," Todd muffled out from under the scarf.

"Quiet, Todd.  Theo!  What's up, mate?"  Gator interrupted.

"Just on my way out, actually."

"I'm glad we caught you then!"  Gator threw a hand on top of Todd's shoulder and smiled through his mask.

There was about a four second awkward pause before Gator took the hand on Todd's shoulder and smacked him in the back of the head with it.  Todd then reaches into his inside coat pocket and retrieves a clipboard with a single piece of paper attached.

"Muhrmuhrmrfmurhfmuhrmurh," said Todd.

They all stood in silence again for a few moments before Theo asked, "What'd he say?"

Gator's smile is replaced by a look of confusion that is noticed even through his mask.  He looks at Todd then back to Theo.

"No idea, but that there is, uh…"  Gator snatches the clipboard away.  "This is a sign-up for donations for the XWFmas kid's program, 'Chairshots for Kids'.  It's pretty much a 'Make a Wish', but instead of just meeting your hero, you crack him in the head with a chair and all this money goes towards some orphans or something."

"Muhrfuhrmurmr!"

"What'd he say?"  Theo asked again.

"Todd, mate, we can't understand you with that fuckin' scarf wrapped around your head.  Take it off, for fuck sake."

"I said, it's for a good cause!"  Todd finally got out loud and clear.

"There aren't any names on it," said Theo after taking a look at the clipboard for himself.

"Well, no, not yet," said Todd, "We're still kind of at the Alpha stage of the whole thing AND this is the first place we stopped."

"Why start so late?  Like I said, you're lucky you caught me."

"We were brainstorming over a couple pints down the street when we came up with the idea," Gator interjected.

"You just came up with this?"

Gator and Todd perform a synchronized nod.

"What am I signing up for, exactly?  To donate, or be hit with a chair."

"Oh, we're only taking donations for now.  The kids will pick who they hit with the chair."

"So, hypothetically, with enough kids who hate Chris Page, we could have a mile worth of chair shots lined up for him?"

"Uhm…  Yeah!"  Todd replied.

"Interesting," Theo scribbled his name down and handed it back.

Doc remained silent and glued to his work.  Gator directed his attention that way and snatched the clipboard back from Todd.

"You think Doc is interested in a donation?" Gator asked Theo.

All three of them looked towards the good doctor who continued to pay no mind outside of his work.

"Merry XWFmas you wrinkly, old cunt!" Gator doesn't yell, but raises his voice.

Doc remained glued to his work and paid no attention to the guests.

"Earth to Doc!"  Theo whispered loudly.  "Aren't you going to–"

"Bah!" shouted the doctor.  "Humbug!"

Theo sighed, Todd jumped back, and Gator's eyes narrowed through his mask.  Doc peered at his watch and then up to the three men standing before him.

"Perhaps, you two could gift the other with a working watch this year?" Doc growled.  "Mister Pryce, would you be so kind as to remind these gentlemen the time of day as you did for me and the hours posted on the front window?"

Gator and Todd look over to Theo who is still sighing.

"Heh, Doc must not be taking any clients tonight, gentlemen!"  Theo said as he headed back towards the door, seemingly excited himself as it could be his own ticket out of there.

Opening the door wasn't enough of a hint for Gator, however.  He made a B-Line across the room towards the good doctor and threw the clipboard down on the desk.

"What do you say, Doctor D?  Can you spare any of the grimey, old Xbux you've stashed away for a good cause?"

"It's XWFmas, after all!" Todd pokes his head out from behind Gator, but is met with a ghastly scowl from the doctor.  Todd gulps then huddles back behind his 6 foot 4 friend again.

Doc has a quick look at the clipboard and the single name written on it.

"Bah!  Humbug!"  Doc said as he tossed it back down.  "Get it off the ground a bit then we'll see, perhaps.  I, too, wouldn't mind seeing Chris Page smacked with hundreds of chairs.  However, I can't be giving away to every little nonsense idea that blows in through my door."

"You greedy cunt.  What's a few Xbux going to run you?  It won't break you, mate, and it's not like you've cared about that stuff before.  Grow a heart you fucking grinch."

Todd slowly began making his way back away from Gator and towards the front door again.

"Gator?  Shouldn't we be going?"

Without saying anything or turning around, Gator held up an index finger as if to say, 'Oi!  One bloody minute, mate!'

"Are either of you participating in this nonsense?"  Doc asked.

Gator grabbed the clipboard off the desk and waved it around in front of the doctor's face as he mocked him.

"What do you think this is?  My participation is right here, mate!  So, put you down for…"

Doc waved him off and went back to his work.  This caused Gator to boil under his red mask and red Santa hat, but he remained calm and collected and slowly backed off.

It is XWFmas, after all.

"We'll catch up later, Doc.  I'll put you down as 'Pending'.  Sound good?"

No answer from the doctor.  Gator pretended to write on the clipboard as he walked backwards away from the desk and when he reached Todd he slapped it against his chest to loot away again.  Gator walked by a desk and knocked a couple of binders to their side and scattered the papers about.

"That was my desk," Theo quietly pointed out.

Gator held his arms out as if to challenge Doc for what he did, but both Todd and Theo gently ushered him toward the door.

"Look at the time!"  Theo then shouted without looking at any watch.  "Like Doc said he has a lot of work to do on XWFmas Eve for some reason so we should take our leave.  Happy Holidays gentlemen and thanks for stopping by."

"Yes!  Excellent idea, Mister Pryce!"  Doc yelled out.  "Have a glorious evening and don't bother coming in tomorrow."

"Thanks?  I wasn't planning on it."

Theo said half under his breath and started ushering the two men to the door when it swung open bringing the wintry blast of cold and snow with it again.  In the doorway was the silhouette of a young girl.  She didn't hesitate and walked into the light revealing herself to be Dolly Waters.

"Hello Dolly…  We were just leaving,"  said Theo with a stern tone to his voice.

"Yeah I'm just here to see Doc," she said and walked past Theo, disregarding what he said.

She marched up to Doc and pulled up a stool beside the front corner of his desk and stared at him.  Doc paid no attention to her until the fourth cough-for-attention.

"I'm in no mood for visitors, Miss Waters."

"Hello to you, too, Doctor Louis D'pressing," Dolly mocked in a snarky voice.

Doc continued working away, not looking up to the girl sitting on her knees on the stool, leaning with her forearms on his desk.

"So, Doc, I was thinking the other day."

"That's quite an accomplishment."

"Shut UP!  Don't be mean, it's XWFmas!"

"Bah…  Humbug!"

Dolly rolled her eyes and continued.

"ANYway.  I was thinking.  You want to go for some tag team gold down the line?"

Doc stopped writing and Dolly believed she finally had his attention.

"I think we could make some noise, you and I.  I mean, who could beat us?"

By the door Theo, Gator, and Todd all watched in awe and amazement as this conversation went on.  Doc placed the quill upright in a holder and took a deep breath.

"You just thought that up, did you?"  Doc inquired.

"Well, I've always kinda thought about it," Dolly said with a smile.

"And what do I get out of it?"

"What do you mean?  A title, duh!  Fame and fortune!  It could open up for a lot more, too, Doc!  It would be awesome to see you back on top of the XWF again."

Doc let out a loud sigh before looking over to Dolly. 

"Bah!"

After a few more minutes of torment, the three visitors and Theo Pryce made their way out of the office and back home or wherever they came from.  Doc enjoyed several hours to himself and was able to get a satisfyingly large amount of work done before calling it a night himself.

The streets were mostly emptied out at this point.  Mark Flynn was no longer in the town center.  Peter Vaughn spent all day cleaning the streets, yet they remained the filthy mess they've always been.  Mastermind remained outside the Drunken Barney, where Doc was headed, waiting for a fool to stumble out of the bar with pockets a little more loose than when they walked in.  Jenny Myst and Chris Chaos were around the corner digging through the garbage outside of the bar; saving bottles and cans and whatever remnants of food they could find.

Doc followed the lamp posts, allowing them to guide him towards the dimly lit tavern.  He entered and stopped in the doorway to have a look around.  There were far less people hanging around the place at this hour, just the way he liked it.  He made his way to a private table in the corner, away from the few people, and took a seat.  Not a moment later, XWF Hardcore Legend and owner of the Drunken Barney, Barney Green emerged from the back.

"The usual, Doctor?"  Barney asked from behind the bar.

Doc simply nodded from across the room.  Barney didn't have to look up or notice the response.  Doc got the same thing each and every night he strolled through.  Barney quickly prepared it and brought it to him.

"One double-shot of scotch and a pickled egg."

Doc sat for a while by himself and enjoyed the serenity.  No one bothered him, as he didn't wish to be bothered.  He left before closing time and followed the street lamps home.  Finding his way to his doorstep, he searched his pockets and retrieved his keys.  He managed to shuffle them enough to arrange the correct key in his hand and unlocked his large, wooden door.  As he reached out for the door handle, he thought he noticed a face formed upon it staring back at him.  He shook his head and produced a lighter from his chest pocket and flicked it on.

To his amazement, there was a face staring right back at him!  It blew out his flame with one breath and chuckled to itself.  Doc cautiously took a step back and analyzed the situation a bit further.  He squinted and tried making it out in the dark, but could not.  He relit his lighter and took a closer look to find that the face, if it ever was there, was gone and just a simple door handle remained.  He reached out again and the face came back and tried biting at his fingertips!  This made the doctor take several steps back and fall backwards down his steps into the snow!

"WHAT?!  HUMBUG!  WHAT WAS THAT?!"  The doctor yelled out into the street as he picked himself up from the ground.

Brushing himself off he reapproached the door, ready to blast it off the hinges if he had to.

"What nonsense is this?"

He relit the lighter yet again and leaned in to see the face was gone once more and there was just the door handle.  Slowly, Doc reached out and at the last second hurried and grabbed a hold of it tightly.

"Humbug!"  he grumbled.  "Too much whiskey, perhaps…"

The doctor shook it off, entered his home, and locked himself in.  The night was over for him, he dropped his coat off and headed to his personal quarters for bed.  He looked forward to working alone the next day and expected his workload to be doubled, as Mister Pryce insisted he was normal and deserved the day off.

Barely managing to fall into any deep slumber, Doc was awakened by a loud crash coming from outside his room.  He immediately rose out of bed and questioned whether or not he had dreamt the ruckus of there was an actual clatter within his home.  He didn't bother investigating, just listened for a moment before snuggling back down and closing his eyes.  A few moments later, he heard it again, loud and clear.  He jumped out of bed this time and headed towards his bedroom door, which he also kept locked tight at night.  Placing his ear to the door, he listened to footsteps, the banging and ringing of chains, and moans from the other side.

"Hello?  Is someone there?"

He heard the footsteps moving closer and climbing up the stairwell and to his room.

"What is it?  WHO is it?!"



*BAM!*



*BAM!*



*BAM!*



Before he knew it, whoever it was was right outside of his door!  Doc jumped back in a startled panic and readied himself for anything!

"WHAT IS IT?!  WHO GOES THERE?!"  Doc shouted through the door.  "I'M QUITE GOOD ON ME FEET AND AT DISPOSING DEAD BODIES, YOU KNOW!  ONLY WARNING, MY FRIEND!"

The knocking continued, louder this time.



*BAM!!!*



*BAM!!!*



*BAM!!!*



"HUMBUG!"



*BAM!!!!!!*



*BAM!!!!!*




The final 'Bam!' was the last straw for the door and it blew apart!  Pieces of wood and dust flew everywhere, as well as the doctor who was sent soaring through the air onto his bed where he rolled off the other side!  He crawls up onto his matters and stays on the floor, waiting for whatever is coming after him.

Oddly, the dust never cleared.  The debris from the door and the wall floated through the air as if time stopped or was going in some xtreme slow motion.  Through it all, Doc noticed a familiar face wandering through his bedroom door. 

Doc stood up and rubbed his eyes, not believing them for a second…

Until it spoke.

"Doctor!  Long time no see!"

"Soldier?!  Hello, my friend!"

Doc almost sounded happy to see him for a moment.  It phased away quickly though.

But your…  Dead?"

Unknown Soldier, at least it looked a lot like him, stood before Doc.  The fellow was never fit for wear before, and if he's dead now, well…  He was certainly looking no better.  Not thought possible, his skin was actually a lighter shade of white than it was before.  His hair, what remained as most seemed to have been ripped out, draped over his face and looked rotted.  Bugs and slugs casually made their way from one orifice on his head to another.  Ear to mouth.  Mouth to nose.  He was completely naked, aside from the heavy chains that dangled from his neck and shoulders.  The chains were the attached to several different XWF championships, all tattered, weathered, torn, and worn…  weighing him down as they drug on the ground behind him.  He let out a cough and blew out soot and dust that floated through the air like the broken door.

"I am?"  He wheezed.

Soldier grabbed his head, ripped it off his shoulders, then turned it around to look back at his body.

"Oh yeah.  I am."

The Ghost of Unknown Soldier, then, placed his head back on his shoulders and screwed it in.  Doc, intrigued by the whole situation, took a seat on the bed.

"What IS dead, though?  Is it just…  Not living?  Cause I feel pretty fucking alive right—- *CLACK*"

The ghost choked on a centipede as it quickly slid into his mouth and down his throat.

"You're not exactly someone I expected stalking your way through my home in the middle of the night.  Actually, you are, I'm not sure where my mind was there."

"Oh, fret not, Good Doctor!  I'm only here for a sec!  I won't take up much of your time at all!  You've got a long night ahead of you anyway!"

The Ghost of Unknown Soldier laughed and choked on some more dust.  As he spit his tongue slipped out and flopped around like a fish until Soldier stomped out it until it quit moving.  He grabbed it up off the floor and shoved it back into his mouth.

"Ugh…  I thought it was that fucking centipede jumping out of there for a second."

Doc's patience started to wear thin as the ghost of his former partner continued to screw around.

"Pardon me, sir," Doc finally interrupts, "but what brings you here?"

"I can't drop in and say 'Hello' to an old pal?  Come on, Doctor!  Haven't ya missed me?  We used to have some wild adventures together and not to mention to fucking up we did together."

"I remember, indeed.  I remember it well!  I also recall a lack of, well…  YOU later on.  Do you recall any of that?"

The ghost ignored Doc's latest question and began exploring around the room.

"Look at this place.  No trophies.  No crowns.  No titles.  Where are they all at, Doc?"

"My previous accolades aren't on display.  I'm renowned enough in this place, I don't have to parade around every little victory I've attained here."

"Mhm…"  The ghost mumbled out to itself.  "I don't know…  I think that's kind of the problem here."

"Problem?  There is no problem."

"Oh no.  No, there's definitely a problem, Doctor."

If Doc's patience was considered on the thin side before, it was completely transparent now.  The ghost continued to just wander about and avoid whatever point it was trying to make.

"Enlighten me again, sir, on what you're doing here, please."

The ghost dragged himself, his chains, and the broken titles across the room back over to Doc.

"To put it bluntly, it's time to get your head out of your ass!"

"Pardon me?"

"Yeah!  It's time for you to wake up and get your shit together!"

Doc folded his hands on his lap, which was everything in his power to not reach out and slap the ghost.

"What are you saying?!  The point!  What is the point!"

"Listen, look at me."

Doc looked Unknown Soldier's ghostly, ghastly, scraggly, wasted away nake body in front of him.

"I'd really rather not."

"Just look!"  Soldier shouted out as he did a full rotation.  "Your fate will be the same as mine if you don't get it together, Doc."

Doc painfully continued to look on as Soldier finished and stopped in front of him.

"To forever walk aimlessly… and bare-assed…  through the XWF dragging my accomplishments behind me?"

"Pretty much.  Look around, Doctor!  Have you listened?  There are no talks of the legends of the past.  There are no talks of Doctor Satan! ruling the Tag Team Division with an iron dick!"

"What?"

"I'm a former Universal Champion, Xtreme Champion, Tag Team Champion, you name it!  Between the two of us, together or separate, we reigned hell down wherever we went.  But now?  What am I?"

"A naked specter standing in my bedroom."

"Exactly!"

"I'm quite sure I'm still understood to be a Living Legend in the place.  Your name isn't brought up at every morning breakfast, but I wouldn't quite say you're forgotten.  Old news, maybe."

"And YOU will fall under that same fate!  You have to change your ways, Doctor…  You MUST!  The fate of the XWF relies on it!"

"Nonsense!  Humbug!  All of it!  And I'm tired of hearing it!  Begone spirit!  I choose to partake in this seance any longer!"

"Tonight…  You will be haunted by three bastards, Doctor…."

"What?  No ghosts?"

"Three bastards!  And they will show you why it is so important to get your ass out of your ass and start doing some shit around here!  They will show you your fate and the fate of the XWF!  Three bastards……  The first will come at the stroke of midnight!"

"I'm really exhausted from all the guests I've had today already…  And I'm really not in the mood to discuss any type of future regarding the XWF or anyone else in it.  So, if you don't mind—"

"It's up to you, Doctor!  My time here is up!"

The Ghost of Unknown Soldier pulls out a crackpipe and lights it up.  It begins to sparkle like a firecracker before it ignites and lets out a loud explosion!