Hello everyone,

I know I'm not often on OOC boards, so i sometimes see topics much later than i'd like to. But it's not because i am not interested on what is going on outside the rp stuff (or occassionally jumping in to write a match or so). But moreso to something in my personal life

Some of you may have heard the podcast I did with the handler of Chris Page, where I briefly mentioned that I am nearly blind. I have a visual disorder that is named Retinitis Pigmentosa, it's a disorder that i have since birth but really starts to do its damage between your 30s and 40s. It causes your eyes to ultimately grow a tunnel vision as well as many other visual issues to the point that you can go blind.

there is perhaps a few of you who know my story from SCW or perhaps other places I have been in, but to the majority of you I just felt the need to share some of my personal life seeing I have gotten to like this place a lot since joining a while ago. I have been actively dealing with this for nearly 11 years now since that time my eyesight had deteriated to a point where I needed special rollerblade canes in order for me to be able to walk the paveemnt again without having to worry I would bump into people, hit lantern posts or even fall off steps from a tram station. (as my deteriation also holds a severe night blindness, issues with depth and distances amongst others. 

Throughout the years I have done many eye tests by a special organization, where they diagnosed 11 years ago that I had 20 percent left in both eyes of what I had left for me to see. 11 years later it's around 5,5 percent (or at least that was the last test i had a few years ago). My right eye is still capable to pick up colors, but I am no longer capable of actually being capable of identifying people, objects etc etc. All comes down to my left eye, that's why i have darkened my right side of my glasses so that my left eye will not try to compensate too much for my other eye. 

Sadly with all of this comes after effects, one of them is that I need to rest for several hours after doing something very impactful (like going to the gym, visiting friends/family for several hours, walking my dog that is a special trained dog for people with my disability. I had to cut work hours from 40 to 24, that ultimately through the years went down to 8 and ultimately 4 hours a week to right now me living on wellfair as work for me is too much of a strain on my eyes that it is nearly impossible to do something that I would be able to do because of the strain on my eyes as well as affecting my personal life.

There is so much I could tell what I have gone through since I had to constantly adapt my life making it bearable for me to call it living, but most of them I have already forgotten. I am thankful that with all the possiblities that is out there to assist me in my life (like voice produced apps, products that I can use as well as my lovely dog that allows people to recognize that I am visually impared is such a blessing that I have to admit that I feel more alive than before (how odd that may sound)

Roleplaying has been a way for me to write away all my frustrations, all my pain and anguish. Because I have struggled throughout the 11 years and sometimes still do. But I am thankful for the outlet that is granted me for 20 years now and I want to continue it as long as I can. Because I know eventually I will have to choose for my health over the fun that I am having right now. That's why I want to do as much as possible, to work as much angles as possible, so that when I do decide to retire that I will feel blessed to have been in the same roleplay multiverse so to speak with so many wonderful people (and of course some bad apples lol) that I would not have any regret to step away.

I hope that I can do this for another full year, to do what I just stated here above so that I can do as much as possible.

I know for some of you (ror maybe a lot) this may come as a shock, I have accepted my life the way it is for the majority at least. I have been through councelling and have went through many changes to recognize that my life isn't over yet. It just has obstacles that I need to overcome on a daily basis and sometimes I just decide to go silent. That's why I'm not often on the OOC board but more on the forums when I need to post a rp or read others when I feel like I have enough energy to do so, but doing too much is just too much of a burden for me. (like right now I realize that I need to close my eyes for a while because of the impact it has on my physically but also mentally

if people have questions for me about my situation, don't hesitate to ask. I am someone that can talk about it freely and doesn't mind to use a dose of healthy humor to make fun of myself as i have realized that it makes it easier for others to approach me. 

I also want to say that I realize that I am not the only one who has something that may cause issues, because everyone has things in their life that they wish that could have gone differently, so I am not feeling sad or that I need people to feel bad about me. I'm still the same person that I have always been, just with some add on bonuses lol

I thank you for those who are at least willing to read this post and perhaps get a clearer insight on my situation, again if you got questions feel free to ask here or perhaps through a pm on the boards or dm me on twitter (@GothicOne3) it may just take a while before I answer.

again thank you for those who managed to stick around till the end 

Gerrit

Hey man, thanks for sharing your life with us, and your creativity. I hope to tell some wonderful stories with you. Have you experimented with text to speech stuff? I've personally considered including voice recorded content in my writing though I'm not sure how this board feels about it.

Storytelling, in all its forms, has been an incredible source of solace for me - and I hope it continues to be that for you wherever, for as long as you'd like to.

hey man,

thanks for the kind words

I do have some experience with voice operated programs, but that's mostly with my phone as I have dictation programs on there which is very helpful. I have learned text writing on a computer at an early age, making it easier for me to type without having to stare at my keyboard all the time (lol)

so far i have used a windows program that allows to read out loud what you are typing. Which has been very helpful for me at times so that i do not need to look at the screen to know whether I actually wrote something down correctly or not. It's actually the standard program from Windows that you can activate by clicking on control/the windows button and enter (and turn it off again by using the same buttons) it has a education option to help you out to use certain command options to like have something being read out loud on a website for instance and other options. There are obviously also a lot of other programs out there that are similar to that but they are expensive 

i have not yet attempted to use the option to activate things by merely using your voice or have attempted to use a voice to text program. i know there's a windows version on your computer/laptop but again i have not tried that out before. I know someone that is a text writer for companies that hire her to write articles for almost anything. She is reumatic and uses a voice program to write her text on screen. I could ask her what kind of program she uses, even though like me she is dutch so it could very well be a program that is solely used for the Dutch market.

What i have learned is that is very helpful, but you have to make sure that when you are busy having your words being written down on tekst and you get a phone call that you have to turn it off or else your conversation could very well be added to the tekst lol and you still have to check thigns for errors as i believe it is not fully 100 percent guaranteed that it will not make text errors (something that from time to time i notice when i dictate a message to someone or an email)

Perhaps try your luck with windows before trying to search for perhaps a better solution so at least you get an idea what it is like.

I also hope we can share stories when we may face each other on the rp board and whether it is by voice writing or just the old fashioned typing with the fingers lol