Loud banging noises.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Told ya.

Emerging from a janitorial closet, replete with Peter Vaughn's special dildo collection (so he can go fuck himself - fuck that guy), and with the faint stank of interdimensional transportation embedded into the moldy flaps of his skin, the little big pig who sends humans to the market and doesn't pussyfoot around with bullshit counting on their toes or anything before slaughtering them, Hotdog, emerges into the 24/7 hallway.

Oink, oink Oink oink oink oink ooink oink oink oink OINK-ooink ooink Oink oink OOINK oink Oooiinnkk Oooiiinnnkk Ooink ooiink? O.I.N.K. oink oink oink oink! O.I.N.K. oink Ooink-Oink-OINK. Oink oink Oink oink oink oink Oink Ooiin'k oink ooiink? Oink, oink oink, oink ooink, ooiinnk? Ooink O'ink oink, O'ink ooink oink oink ooink Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk oink oink ooink Oink Ooiin'k ooink."


Or something.

Why Hotdog is narrating aloud is a mystery best left for the detectives of the world, like Sherlock Holmes and Batman. Or even my nosey fucking neighbour. I SEE YOU LOOKING OVER THE FENCE SHARON! TELL YOUR DOG TO SHUT THE FUCK UP NEXT TIME ONE OF MY FLY HONEYS IS SCREAMING MY NAME!

"Oink... ooin'k oink?"


Hotdog spies a tortilla of his own, and has some nasty fucking sour cream ready to lather on the roast beef.

As he shambles over to where Atara Raven is doing Atara Raven things (like, I dunno, failing to live up to expectations), he drops the sour cream on the ground and it spills everywhere. Yeah... it wasn't a euphemism. It was actual sour cream and I don't know if you know this, but pigs don't have hands so give the swine some credit for even lasting a couple of steps will ya?

"Oink ooiinnk."


The massive boar glares at Atara, blaming her because he's a petulant pissant incapable of accepting responsibility for his failings. Not that he has many. Did you know he's 3-0? Undefeated baby!

Atara finishes eating a taco of her own.

Again, not a euphemism.

But she's about to eat a Hotdog now and that is!

"Oink oink oink oink ooink ooink Oink oink oink ooink oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk."


Indeed she does. And indeed he did, back when we were contractually obliged to Shove-It, but then kind of didn’t.

"Oink oink oink, ooink ooink, 'ooink O'ink ooink oink oink oink oink oink oink."


The living embodiment of meat sweats, Hotdog charges at Atara. She effortlessly moves out of the way causing the massive beast to ram boar head first into the wall. He stumbles, knocking Atara to the ground with her shoulders down and the pig's bodyweight on just the tip of one of her fingers.

She rolls her eyes, barely inconvenienced.

Still, a referee, who just happened to be hanging around (and thinking God knows what) - because that's what Vinnie Lane thinks is a good use of company money (fuck that guy too) - begins a count.

1...

2…

Somehow Atty lives to expectation thus failing expectations that she would not live up to expectations and with meh shrug kicks out.

The dejection in the boar's expression coupled with his soooo ugly it's cute face tempered any anger or irritation she may have had towards the narrator's euphemism and insinuations, that somehow, she had heard.

"I'm sorry Hotdog. You came a long way to go empty handed. Would you like to burrow your snort in my goodie pale."

Naturally he shakes yes, he is a filthy pig after all and so Atty shuffles and positions herself from the ground so Hotdog can get a good look and whiff.

Euphemism? Innuendo? Double entendre?
Are you brave and sick enough to find out?!

Atty, satisfied by her good deed, still felt Hotdog was disappointed and let down so offered her hand. What filthy pig didn't like the skin of it's head stroked.

Oooh fuck. Another one! Maybe this is it you effin deviants!

Still, after that, Hotdog seemed down. Atty decided that was enough of the foreplay. She knew what she had to do.

"Would you like me to mount you Hotdog?

Of course he did.

He was a pig.

Do we run the bit into ground. I'm not gonna show a girl a fucking a pig...an actual pig anyway. Let's do it and roll the dice to see if I fail expectations again....