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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 RP Boards 2022
BIG PREESH'S POOL PARTY
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#1
09-16-2022, 06:17 PM

It’s a sunny day. Clear blue skies. Perfect temp for a pool party - which is good, since XWF X-Treme Champion and LEADER of the B.O.B. Big Preesh has decided to celebrate the greatest victory in the history of the Baddies by throwing the BIGGEST, BADDEST pool party of all time!

“CANNONBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!”

Preesh, wearing nothing except the XWF X-Treme Championship (with an extra leather belt attached to the end so it goes all the way around him) leaps off of the tallest of the diving boards like Rodney Dangerfield going for the Triple Lindy in Back to School.

Preesh tucks his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his knees, eclipsing the sun with his massive naked ass as he flies through the air, then crashes into the deep end with the sound of an underwater 9/11. Suck it Sonya.

A tsunami of chlorinated pool water erupts from Preesh’s point of impact, and at least three bikini clad exotic dancers are swept out of the pool and onto the deck.

A second later, the X-Treme Championship title belt pops up to the surface, but there’s no Preesh!

Big Mad Ivan, Big Preesh’s stablemate and tag team partner, sees Preesh lying on the bottom, and he calls over to the Disintigrators, who are just chilling in the shallow end so that the water level doesn’t quite cover up the bulges in their red white and blue stars n’ stripes banana hammocks.

“David! John! BP needs our help!”

BMI points to the bottom of the pool where Preesh is still laying, completely naked now. Steele and Mustang splash their way over to where Ivan is, and the three of them duck down below the surface and grab hold of Preesh.

BMI has Preesh’s head cradled on his own chest as he breaks back to the surface, and with Johnny Steele and Dave Mustang holding Preesh by the arms, the three of them manage to pull the big man over to the three foot section and lean him against the steps.

“HE AIN’T BREATHING, JACK! BIG PREESH BIT THE DAMN BIG ONE, DADDY, THIS AIN’T GOOD AT ALL! TELL ‘EM, DANGEROUS!”

“WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, he’s right, Ivan, Preesh is dead.”

“Not on my watch…”

Ivan cracks his knuckles and then yanks Preesh’s jaw open. With a deep breath, he pulls his head back and then dives down onto Preesh’s lips, creating an airtight seal with his own mouth on that of the champ’s.

Ivan exhales into Preesh’s lungs, and Preesh’s barrel chest rises and falls with each blow from his partner. BMI finally breaks the life saving lip lock and then pounds on the chest of Big Preesh.

“BREATHE, DAMN YOU!”

BMI’s fist hits the sternum of Preesh one more time and then a gurgling sound arises from Preesh’s esophagus. A small geyser of water then shoots up from his mouth, hitting BMI right in the face.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Did y’all see that shit? YA BOY Big Preeshy baby done cannonballed the EFF right out of this here pool! I hit that water so hard I think I got myself a high colonic! Now my championship anus is squeaky clean and ready for the big time at Relentless, baby! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hammer don’t HURT ‘em!”

BMI departs, wiping away Preesh’s lung water from his eyes. Johnny and Davey get a little closer, their star spangled nutbags bobbing on the water’s surface.

“PREESH THAT WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT, JACK! YOU ALMOST BIT THE DUST, DADDY! BUT THEN YOU KICKED OUT LIKE YOU BEEN KICKIN’ OUT THESE PAST FEW WEEKS EVERY TIME CHARLIE NICKLES GETS A SAD-ON OR LSM NEEDS A NEW EXCUSE TO UPLOAD FEETS PICS TO HER ONLYFANS! WOO! YOU’RE THE CHAMP, DADDY! WOO! TELL ‘EM, DANGEROUS!”

“WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL let me tell you about how bad frickin’ ASS you looked just now, Preesh! You sent those honeys flying, the water went everywhere, but the REAL moisture happened up between those fly girls’ thighs, you know what I mean, Preesh?”

“Oh I feel you fa sho, fa sho! Big Preeshy knows how to lube up the engines of every lady he meets, ya FEEL me?”

“I know you got that game, Preesh! Just like me and Johnny here! We have been up and down these highways for decades, and left a lot of broken hearts and broken beds in our wake! Ain’t that right Johnny?”

“YOU SURE GOT THAT RIGHT DANGEROUS! I REMEMBER IN ‘86 THE FIRST TIME I HAD EVER GOT CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT OF A MARRIED BROAD’S TRAILER! I HAD TO KNOCK THIS PENCIL NECK THREE WAYS FROM SUNDAY BECAUSE HE TRIED TO STEP TO ME, A TRUE ALPHA, FOR DICKING DOWN HIS OLD LADY WHILE THE KIDS WAS AT SCHOOL! WOO! NOT MY FAULT WOMEN LIKE ACTUAL MEN, POINDEXTER! WOO! THIS RIGHT HERE IS GRADE A AMERICAN MEAT, AND I SERVE IT UP WELL DONE, JACK! WOO!”

“WOO! I remember it well, Johnny, I was in the next double wide over giving her sister the business! So you can say me and “Balls Of” Steele right here know exactly what it’s like being the biggest ladies man in the county, JACK!”

“DAVEY ALL THIS REMINISCING ABOUT LAYING THE D DOWN ON SOME OLD SCHOOL NINETEEN-EIGHTEES UNSHAVEN POOTINANNY HAS MADE OL’ JOHNNY STEELE MISTY EYED AND NOSTALGIC, JACK! I GOTTA CALL MY EX LADY UP AND TALK TO THE KIDS RIGHT NOW, DADDY!”

Johnny Steele pulls out his cell phone, which is luckily waterproof, from the pouch of his mankini.



[Image: phone-removebg-preview.png]


He dials and then waits as it rings.

And rings.

And then halfway through a third ring there’s a click and a pre-recorded voice starts up:

“AYOOO you got the biggest cocked playa out here in that DU-val County, MC C-Munqqquee. Holla at ya boy at the beep, lemme know if you a bitch swingin’ by the crib or if you lookin’ to pick up some molly or weed or whatever. Peace.”

Johnny Steele lowers the phone and disconnects without a word. He looks morose as he turns to his partner ‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang.

“WHY MY BOYS DON’T WANNA TALK TO ME, JACK?”

He stares off into the sky.






Then the camera cuts back to Preesh abruptly.

“Anywhoo! Lemme talk at you all right quick about Day NUMERO DOS of Relentless, baby! We takin’ it to the rooftop so I can smack up three ugly ass has beens and never wasses, you feel me? We got Ring Master, who look like a foot that got bunions. Ring Master, you think you a big dog but I got GOUT bigger than you, BRUH! You ain’t shit but a second rate nobody who got the call to fill a spot! Wassup, they couldn’t convince Mikey McBride to take two minutes out of his day to sign a contract he was gonna forget the next day? They wasn’t able to ask Savannah Knightley to cry about tag matches for thirty seconds before eating a pin on PEE PEE VEE? SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEit they shoulda put Ghost Tank up in this bitch before you! At least he got street cred! The Homie has swang this belt before, YA HEARD? I’mma be tossing your lunkheaded ass right off the top of that building and laughing when you hit the pavement down below!”

“Now lemme tell y’all about this other cat, Goth. This Columbine Coocoo bird out here with more mascara on than Atara Themis, and his bangs look like he spends more time at the hairdresser than in the ring. My man need to head on down to the local coffee shop and type up some poems about how much he hates his daddy instead of getting into a brawl with Big P! I’mma knock the JNCOs right off this Daria lookin’ EM-EFF, you dig? One Big Brain Chop’ll send Wednesday Addams all the way back to Tuesday! I’ll choke you out with your own chain wallet, CUZ!”

“Atara Themis! You done come sniffin’ around my big belt one too many time now! I thought I taught you a lesson when I slapped your titties out the mouth of baby raven a couple weeks back, but I guess you needed to come get another spanking from your X-Treme DADDY! You shoulda stuck to changing diapers and pumping them hoots! Now you gotta turn that little child into a orphan after I toss you and that sperm donor off the roof like a pair of lover’s leapers! You want me to say it in Greek? OPA, bitch! Big Preesh is taking a walk in that ass!”

Just then two sexy women in thong bikinis float past on a big inflatable raft.

“Looks like a couple dime pieces want to spend some time with the CHAMP! Get out my face with this camera now unless you wanna see the biggest balls in the XWF bruise up a pair of tan tushies!”

Fade out.

[Image: MTDOs0R.png]
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Atara Raven (09-17-2022), Finn Kühn (09-16-2022), Marf (09-17-2022), Raion Kido (09-17-2022), Theo Pryce (09-24-2022)
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