The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Over six weeks ago, I had lots of built up anger and motivation leading into War Games, an event where I was looking to showcase a violent side of me that hadn’t been showcased since my Boiler Room match against Jason Cashe. But in the end, I don’t make the decisions of who should go up and who should go down, so I “took one for the team” while Angie Vaughn and Raion Kido put on a tremendous display all the way to almost winning the whole damn thing! So yeah, props to my teammates for doing as well as they did, but fuck everything else.
I ended up in a very compromising position after that show, where I had a conversation behind the scenes that nobody was inside the room for, and well… I just needed to step away. I was in the midst of moving to Commack, I was still more fucked in the head than I usually already am, I was generally unhappy with my direction in the company… I took my ball and went home to get shit settled in from the move. I also took the time to focus on my zen, find my motivation, figure out where that “eye of the tiger” has gone since I lost the Anarchy Championship back in March.
On the one hand, I know for a fact I allowed myself to just shove my breakup with Lexi Gold into the back of my brain, never addressed it properly with friends, family, a therapist or anyone else. I decided to just maintain the lifestyle I had grown accustomed to, which is just living the grind of a professional wrestler. The crazy flight schedules, basically living in airports and hotels the better part of the year, only having a residence to basically serve as a paper weight for mail to be dropped off for the day I eventually get to come home and relax while doing laundry. I allowed myself to create internal emotional turmoil against my own heart, mind and soul.
But now, it’s time for things to change. Simplifi Arena in Honolulu will be the place, this Thursday night will be the time, Anarchy will be THE SHOW! And well, unfortunately for Savannah Knightley… she is the hand chosen sacrificial lamb that Vinnie Lane has presented to my altar. And to the dismay of Miss Knightley, she is not Isaac, I am not Abraham and there is no angelic messenger that will come flying in to save your execution.
For the longest time, I was finding myself trying to prove my worth for others - whether it was proving my love for Lexi or proving that I belong in CCP Enterprises, I was doing everything for the sake of others and not for myself. Even if you fast forward to finally having a comfort level within CCPE and breaking up with Lexi, EVEN THEN… I still found myself trying to do what was best for others in regards to my team at War Games. I put my own personal opinions of my teammates to the side for one show, and it was that mentality which cost me any chance of getting past the opening match of that night.
But here we are now, the middle of September and a man all to myself, where the only people I have to answer to for ANYTHING is Chronic Chris Page or Kat Jones. So anyone else who is trying to weasel their way into my business or personal lives, it ain’t happening… it’s time for my focus to completely return itself to the advancement of my career in the XWF, which has me in a position to shake off the ring rust this Thursday night in Honolulu, before I take on Big Money Oswald next weekend for Night One of Relentless 2022. We are going to Hollywood this year, which I find oddly appropriate - but before I shift my focus to the biggest weekend of the year on the XWF calendar, I must destroy what little hope remains inside the soul of Savannah Knightley.
When people typically visit Honolulu, it’s for rest and relaxation and finding one’s inner zen. Either people arrive for some quality family time or to celebrate a big family occasion. But when it comes to this Thursday, the city of Honolulu will be the furthest thing from paradise for those competing on Thursday Night Anarchy. There won’t be any pig roasts, no luau dancers, no tiki torches, no fire breathing daredevil entertainers… just a wrestling ring with some badass dudes and chicks beating the shit out of each other. However, there will be one moment in time that night where there will be no competition, no fair exchange of blows. Rather, it will be a beat down of epic proportions that hasn’t been seen by me in FAR TOO LONG!! So with that said Miss Knightley, I would highly suggest you make sure you have all of your affairs in order. And for your transportation after the show, don’t bother booking any… because I’m going to provide you a first class ticket to the local hospital in the back of an ambulance.
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