HHL: Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Saturday Night Savage. This time live from Anaheim California, home of the NHL's Ducks.
PIP: Quack Quack Quack Heather!
The fans rise to their feet as the opening chorus of Linkin Park’s “Points of Authority” hits the airwaves. Theo Pryce walks out from the back looking dapper as always. He casually strolls down to the ring and then climbs through the ropes, microphone already in hand.
”I guess I might as well get this out of the way now rather than leave everyone hanging any longer. Relentless is quickly approaching and after what happened at the last Savage it’s clear that the Tag Team Title situation needs to be addressed. As such and effective immediately…”
The fans’ jubilant anticipation for the announcement turns to venomous booing.
Bursting from the curtain, we see Mark Flynn wearing sunglasses with a black suit and tie, like he’s dressed for a funeral. Behind him, he’s pulling his (and NK’s) wagon of recent accomplishments: The Cannabis Cup, the WarGames Trophy, WarGames Coach of the Year, $2.5 million dollars… and the sheet of looseleaf paper that just says ‘2022 XWF Tag-Team of the Year…’
‘(presumptive)’.
But atop it all, is a black-and-white airbrushed photo of a smiling North Korean War Criminal.
HHL: Oh, God.
PIP: Show some respect, Heather! Flynn is clearly grieving the loss of his tag partner to injury!
HHL: You can’t use that excuse when he’s also the one that MAIMED HIS TAG PARTNER!
PIP: Semantics!
Flynn wheels the wagon down to ringside, then parks it at the steps. He walks up, squeezing the bridge of his nose, as if he’s overcome with emotion.
Theo is already exasperated by Flynn’s antics but gives him space as Flynn walks up with a microphone stepping into the center of the ring.
Flynn exhales and looks out at the crowd.
“Dearly Beloved…”
The crowd immediately hails down boos and chants of ‘FUCK YOU, FLYNN!’
“We are gathered this day, to say goodbye to my dear partner, North Korean War Criminal…”
The camera pans over the black-and-white picture of his face.
“Who has been COMPROMISED… to a PERMANENT END.”
HHL: Wait, hold on, did Flynn actually KILL the War Criminal?
PIP: …No. Right? That would be… No.
Flynn sighs, he reaches through the ropes and retrieves the photo, holding it close.
“NK was a dear, DEAR… business associate. One whose collaboration I truly valued. And one who I HAD EVERY INTENTION of coaching to a Uni Title reign… Someday.”
A wave of BULLSHIT chants starts.
“UNFORTUNATELY!” Flynn cuts venomously to drown out the chants. “He was… Manipulated. He was turned into a pawn in an ongoing war by the elite against me! He was WOOED by…” Flynn side-eyes Theo. “BAD ACTORS. Who were afraid of the power he and I possessed working in tandem! Hence, why NK viciously grasped at and wristlocked me…”
HHL: …Is Flynn talking about NK giving him a hug and shaking his hand?
“Before I, purely in SELF-DEFENSE… Threw him into an electrical box.”
“NK…” Flynn says looking into the sky. “If you can hear me wherever you are, I know… that you wish you could APOLOGIZE TO ME. And know that if you could apologize… I would CONSIDER forgiving you.”
The crowd is in full-frenzy. Security is in the crowd, blocking certain rowdy audience members from tossing popcorn boxes and soda… Because they don’t want an ounce of concessions accidentally hitting Theo.
[orange]“BUT! In NK’s stead, I will of course continue to defend these belts in my and NK’s name. So that we will SHATTER the tag-title reign record… that meant so much to the War Criminal.”
”That’s not going to happen Mark. You almost beat your last partner to death. I’m not going to give you the opportunity to do it again. Effectively immediately the XWF Tag Team Titles have been vacated.”
The crowd pops in a big way! Flynn’s face contorts like he just sucked on a lemon. He nods begrudgingly.
“Wow… You have the GALL to strip me and my partner of OUR tag titles AT HIS FUNERAL! Which you crashed UNINVITED!”
HHL: …Pretty sure Flynn’s fake funeral is actually the crasher here. Theo’s announcement started first.
PIP: Semantics again, Heather!
HHL: Pip, I don’t think you know what that word, means.
Flynn shakes his head. “I wish I still had the CAPACITY to be disappointed in you, Theo. You have been against NK and I from day… fuckin’... ONE. I’ve found your sticky mitts on every setback we’ve had, Pryce. The CORRUPT officiating when we fought APEX at Bad Medicine, the use of LOCAL DUBAI CRIMINALS to prevent my partner from contributing to my Leap of Faith performance! And almost ONE YEAR AGO… at Relentless… YOU, Theo! YOU made the decision to prevent me from getting an overtime period in that Ironman Match against YOUR NEPHEW, Thaddeus Duke.”
PIP: Pretty damning accusations, Heather!
HHL: I mean, yes, these events transpired… I still don’t think Flynn has an ounce of proof that Theo Pryce had ANYTHING to do with ANY OF THOSE THINGS. And he’s looked for a year now…
PIP: I’ll remind you that Theo was running the show at the time, Heather! Aha!
HHL: That… I don’t think that’s the smoking gun you think it is, Pip.
“Because I wasn’t supposed to win, was I, Theo? I was brought in a retro piece. A fun throwback to get fans from days goneby to purchase front-row tickets. Someone to draw ‘YOU STILL GOT IT’ chants before chewing down a LOSS. Somebody to add to YOUR NEPHEW’S accomplishment list as he tried to BREAK THE LEGACY RULE to get into the Hall of Legends. And when I took him to his VERY LIMIT. When my victory was ALL BUT ASSURED. You, and the fuckin’ CABAL of conspirators you have in your employ, WORKING AGAINST ME… pulled a subrule out of nowhere to get the ending YOU wanted. Thad doesn’t win, but he still retains. And if we fought ONE MINUTE LONGER, I would’ve won. If I had EVER gotten a shot at Corey Smith, the cash-in backup plan you had ready just in case I won without overtime? I would have beaten him, too. But, you PREVENTED ME.”
“Because it makes you SICK, doesn’t it? The idea of me getting what I deserve. What I’ve spent ten years battling tooth-and-nail for. What I crawled out of a fucking MORPHINE addiction to get one last shot at. THE FUCKIN’ MOUNTAINTOP. And you would pull EVERY STOP OUT OF YOUR FUCKIN’ BAG OF TRICKS IF IT MEANT I DIDN’T MAKE IT, THEO.”
”Mark I hope you were smart enough to buy stock in Reynolds Wrap when it was at it’s low point last October.”
The crowd reacts with laughter which only further infuriates Flynn who takes a step forward towards his old trios partner. Theo for his part does not flinch instead he simply smiles and then raises the microphone to his mouth again.
”Seriously Mark I have absolutely no idea what you mean, I really don’t. I don’t know why you think I’d hold you back from becoming the Universal Champion? Do you really think it gave me any joy at all to see guys like Jim Caedus and Chris Page, Unknown Soldier and a former friggin Janitor as the Universal Champions? You were my trios partner at one point Mark, a friend. All I’ve ever wanted was to see you rise to the top; you're just too blind to see it.”
Flynn cuts in. ”That’s right, Theo. You’re SUPPOSED to be my friend. Why would you work against me, right? That’s what I hear all day and all night. WHY? Would Theo lift up these GOONS, these FUCKIN’ MOOKS over his friend who BAILED HIM OUT OF A COLORADO JAIL CELL.”
…
”Because Theo Pryce is loyal to ONE MAN and ONE MAN ONLY: himself. And he wants champions that he can bask in the reflective light of. Guys that make him look GREAT.”
Flynn spins toward the X-Tron. “Tech Guy. Put up my screenshots.”
…
“PUT ‘EM UP OR I’LL COME BACK THERE AND SNAP YOUR FUCKIN’ ARM OFF.”
Very quickly, a tweet appears on the X-Tron screen.
“When does a former friggin Janitor win the Universal Championship?”
“When Theo Pryce signed him. Theo knew EXACTLY what he was doing.”
“When does a fucking choke artist like Raion Kido finally clear his windpipe and start winning?”
“When he signs a contract with Theo Pryce. I said it couldn’t be done. Then… it happened. Sure is funny that the people you sign seem to have an easier climb.”
PIP: Compelling argument, Heather!
HHL: …I mean, Theo signs the checks. He drafts the contracts. He signed MOST of the talent. It’s like saying there’s a conspiracy amongst two-legged people since every Uni Champ has had two legs.
PIP: …GASP!
HHL: For the love o-... that’s not what I meant.
“Why doesn’t Theo Pryce want Mark Flynn to win the big one? Because *you* wouldn’t see YOUR success reflected in me winning. All you’d be reminded of is your own failure.”
“You kids want another Mark Flynn history lesson? Here’s why Theo Pryce spends every waking moment conspiring against me.”
Flynn thrusts a finger in the air.
“EIGHT. LONG. YEARS. AGO. The High Society was poised to dominate the Trios division. Theo Pryce, Luca Arzegotti and the returning Mark Flynn. The crafty Theo Pryce had scrambled a dream team that was going to run Sebastian Duke, Azrael Erebus and Eli James IV the FUCK OVER.”
HHL: The High Society! One of the most dynamite, if short-lived, trios to ever grace the XWF ring.
…Flynn sighs. “Then, we got our shot. And I worked my fucking ass off in that ring. I fought like I’d never get another chance to fight if we didn’t pull it out that night!”
“And I… *sigh* And We came up short.” Flynn looks down at the mat… Seemingly a little guilty?
…
Flynn shakes his head. “AND YOU NEVER FORGAVE ME, PRYCE. For EIGHT YEARS, you’ve held a grudge and held me down. Because if I succeed, that’ll prove YOU FUCKED UP eight long years ago, NOT ME. Well, GUESS WHAT? After that night, check the fuckin’ records. I beat Eli. I beat Az. AND I beat Papa Duke.”
“I carried a fuckin’ green-as-gooseshit GEEK to a 200-plus-day tag-title reign. AND I WOULD HAVE BROKEN THE LONGEST REIGN RECORD VIRTUALLY SINGLE-HANDEDLY. I would go down in history as one of the greatest tag-team tacticians in the HISTORY OF WRESLING.”
“But you couldn’t let that happen, couldja, Theo? Because that might prove ONCE and FOR ALL. That Mark Flynn wasn’t the weak link in the High Society. YOU WERE.”
PIP: Daming proof! Theo resents Flynn, because if Flynn is successful, it would reflect poorly on Theo’s legacy!
“And now you’re STEALING MY MAIL!”
PIP: Yes! And now, he’s…. wut?
“You’re sending your toadies into my house at night to move my keys so I can’t find them in the morning! You’re paying the cooks at Denny’s to make my omelettes slightly smaller and smaller so I get less nutrients! Who does these things, Theo?!? Which of us is ACTUALLY CRAZY HERE?!?!”
HHL: Go ahead, Pip. Do you want to back-up Flynn’s claims that YOUR boss is stealing his mail?
PIP: …Okay, hear me out.
…
PIP: …Never mind, I got nothing.
”Eight years ago? You’re still talking about that match from 8 years ago? Why would I blame you Mark? I was the one that got pinned? I blew that match. Not you, not Luca. Me. I said it then and I maintain it still but it’s clear at this point that there is nothing I can say or do to get you to come back to reality so I won’t even bother anymore.”
Theo backs up towards the ropes and begins to step through them before looking back at Flynn one last time.
”Oh and by the way Mark, had you let me finish my announcement earlier you’d have heard that your request for a Universal Title shot at Relentless has been approved.”
Theo literally drops the mic in the ring and climbs down from the ring apron and up the ramp as the show goes to commercial.
HHL: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time to get tonight festivities under way…
Pip: Yeah - with a murder!
Pip: And there’s the sacrifice…
“5 out of 6” by Dessa plays and Lexi Gold appears from behind the curtain to a chorus of cheers from the crowd. She slowly makes her way down the ramp and gazes out on the jam packed arena before she runs roward to fans at ringside and claps their hands. The Golden Goddess then makes her way up the steps and goes through the botom rope and taunts a bit before she makes her way toward the center where her eyes remain fixated on the stage as she awaits her opponents music to hit next.
HHL: You may come to regret underestimating Lexi Gold like that. She may not have had the greatest success here so far in the XWF, but she’s a former champion elsewhere. Upsets have happened here…
Pip: …and if an upset happens here, I’ll eat my damn shoe.
HHL: In any event… we know her opponent will not be underestimating her.
Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.
“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”
Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.
“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”
Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.
Lexi steps into the ring as Raion settles down from his pose. Lexi’s trying her best to remain as calm and impassive as possible before the bell starts, but Raion manages to quell her thoughts with a smile and a nod as referee Mika Hunt looks over both of them for any weapons.
HHL: Lexi seems to be feeling a bit of nerves here. For her, this is doubtlessly at least one of the biggest matches in her career…
Pip: And for Raion, it’s just another Sunday.
HHL: I’m telling you, you’re going to regret saying something like that…
Before Lexi can even get rolling to quickly start things off, Raion is the first to enter the center of the ring… and offers a handshake! Lexi looks a bit surprised, but it doesn’t take long for her to accept as the crowd pop!
HHL: Always nice to see a good show of sportsmanship to start us off here.
The two separate after, going into their respective corners as their faces turn serious. They circle around the ring, looking for a good read on each other, before looking to LOOOOOOOOCK UP!
HHL: Collar-and-elbow, excellent technique on the lock-up both here as we get things rolling here!
Pip: That’s a mistake on Lexi’s end to start things off already. She’s, what, not even 5’5? And 125 lbs? And she’s going to grapple with someone over half a foot taller and has a hundred pounds on her?
Sure enough, Raion is the first to take control, grabbing Lexi’s wrist and wreeeeenching it into a wrist lock…
HHL: Well, she certainly seems confident in her chances… and I think we’re about to see why!
Lexi is quick to use her nimble frame to her advantage, quickly darting behind to get a waist lock on Raion! She’s really gritting her teeth, doing the best she can to prevent Raion from going too far here!
HHL: Look at her footwork - it’s impeccable! She’s substituting her own lack of strength here for excellent technique, and it’s working to start us off here! After all, one faulty step, and Raion’s sure to break free!
Pip: I don’t think that will be lasting long, though…
Raion reaches down, grabbing Lexi’s hold by the wrists, and beginning to slowly pry them apart! Lexi’s still trying to keep it maintained, but it’s no use! Raion manages to completely separate her, and rocks her world with a solid right hand! Lexi almost buckles on the spot, but Raion seems to be circling around for more energy, trying for a discus strike!
OH! Lexi ducks underneath though, and as she pops up, she nails Raion in the gut with a solid knee before jumping up high - SPIKE DDT SENDS RAION’S SKULL INTO THE MAT!
HHL: Energetic start here as our Universal Champion is the first to fall!
Pip: Eh, he’s letting her get some offense in. It’ll be over before you know it.
HHL: Can you say that with confidence…?
Pip: …
Lexi realizes she can’t waste this chance now as Raion looks to be a bit stunned and tries to shake out the cobwebs following that sharp head spike! Nodding to herself to get herself into things, Lexi quickly runs the ropes as Raion sits up… and nails him with a running meteora! Quick cover!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KICKOUUUUUUUUUUUUT!
Pip: Sharp kickout there - Raion’s still got a lot more to go!
Lexi can’t let up now though. Slapping on the mat, she’s trying to rally up fan support to help her keep going! The fans seem to be rather split on who to root for, but those supporting Lexi are giving it everything they’ve got! Lexi’s stalking the corner, waiting for Raion to get back to his feet…
Raion seems to slowly be aware of what’s going on, but he’s looking to be a bit groggy as he makes his way up to his feet. Still, he turns around… ONLY TO SEE LEXI RUNNING AT HIM AND TRYING FOR A SHOTGUN DROPKICK!
HHL: NO! RAION SIDESTEPPED IT AND LEXI HITS THE MAT ON HER BACK HARD! That one’s going to be hurting in the morning, no doubt!
Pip: Told ya he was playing possum!
And with a full head of steam as now Lexi is the one getting back on her feet, Raion hits the corner, before eyeing up Lexi with a thrust of his right fist and staring her down… Lexi, rubbing her sore hip, quickly gets up to her feet… BUT NOW RAION HITS HER INTO THE CORNER WITH HIS OWN SHOTGUN DROPKICK!
Pip: Raion showing her how it’s done! Now Lexi’s on her back foot and wobbling just to stay in this match and stop herself from falling off of the deep end!
HHL: Lexi’s just trying to stand right now, she’s in a bad way…!
Pip: Yeah, and that’s not gonna last long. Look out!
RAION DARTS IN AND NAILS LEXI WITH A RUNNING HIGH KNEE INTO THE CORNER! Lexi’s eyes almost roll into the back of her head, but she manages to catch herself as she slumps forward in the corner! Raion’s really feeling the momentum right now, nodding his head as he drags Lexi out by the wrists!
HE HOOKS HIS OWN ARM IN! HE’S TRYING TO LIFT FOR THE URANAAAAAGE!
BUT LEXI SLIPS OUT OFF THE SIDE! SHE HAS A HOLD OF RAION’S ARM AS HE COMES DOWN, AND THE LION LOOKS ALARMED! LEXI GRABS RAION BY THE BACK OF THE HEAD - KNEELING JAWBREAKER!
HHL: Raion’s stunned! He’s tumbling back into the ropes, and Lexi’s like a house on fire right now as she’s bringing herself back into this!
Pip: HOW DID RAION SIDESTEP THAT AXE KICK ATTEMPT?!
HHL: Slippery agility from the champion as he goes behind Lexi-
RAION HOOKS IN HIS ARMS, AND HITS A GERMAN SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPLEX! LEXI GETS DROPPED RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HER HEAD, BUT SHE’S STILL CAPABLE OF GOING! SHE CHARGES RIGHT BACK IN, ONLY TO EAT-
Pip: LIVER SHOT FROM KIDO!
HHL: That one came out of nowhere! You can see it in Lexi right now, how the wind immediately got taken out of her sails, how she’s hunching over! The champion has fists of stone, and he’s putting it on full display right now!
Lexi steps back, wheezing and holding her side as she tries to regain herself, but she looks back up, wiping the sweat out of her eyes to see-
"ATOMIC THUNDER!"
HHL: AND THE LARIAT HITS THIS TIME!
Pip: LEXI GOT TURNED ALMOST INSIDE OUT!
Lexi’s staring up at the lights right now, barely still in it as she’s trying her best to get moving again, to get some feeling into things, but the damage is starting to catch up to her…
Raion notices, and gives a small nod of respect to his opponent here tonight, before he signals to the crowd, and gives THE ROAR OF A LION!
Pip: I think my ears are gonna pop from all the fans roaring back with him…
HHL: Well, Pip, it’s his jungle we’re in right now that he’s the King of. Though Lexi Gold is showing that she’s more than capable of going toe-to-toe with some of the best.
Raion picks Lexi up, trying to go for the end-
SMALL PACKAGE ATTEMPT BY LEXI GOLD!
Pip: WHAT?! WHAT?! SHE WAS PRACTICALLY HALF-DEAD ON THE MAT!
HHL: NOW IT’S LEXI’S TURN TO SHOW SHE’S CAPABLE OF PLAYING POSSUM!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
T
H
R
E
KICKOUUUUUUUUUUUUT!
Pip: THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE TO BEING THREE, AND FOR THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT!
HHL: Raion having trouble adjusting to these surprises, but he’s still in it!
Lexi drags herself to her feet, trying for one last desperate attempt on offense as she runs the ropes, only to see Raion’s running right back at her-
"LIGHTNING BOLT!"
RAION’S HEART PUNCH HIT CLEAN ON THE CHEST AS LEXI GOLD GETS SENT ALMOST OUT OF HER BOOTS!
RAION HOPS ON FOR THE COVER, PROMPTING THE FANS TO COUNT WITH HIM!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
T
H
R
E
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
HHL: And Raion Kido pulls out a win over a very game Lexi Gold here tonight! More than a few moments where it looked like she might have been able to pull off the upset!
Pip: Man, and we only just started… Fuck, I need a drink.
WINNER - RAION KIDO!
HHL: An absolutely incredible effort from Lexi Gold here but Raion Kido is the current XWF Universal Champion for a reason and he picked up the victory tonight.
Pip: Ahhhh, he's alright. Flynn is going to wax him at Relentless.
HHL: I wouldn't be so sure Pip. Kido is on one hell of a hot streak right now. The sky is the limit for him.
Savage comes back from commercial and we see all 4 competitors already in the ring ready to go.
SAVANNAH KNIGHTLEY & GERI VAYDEN
- vs -
ASH Q & JENNY MYST TORNADO TAG - 1 RP
DING DING DING!
As the bell sounds Ash Q and Savannah climb through the ropes and take up a position in their respective corners leaving Geri Vayden and Jenny Myst to start the match in the ring.
Vayden charges at Jenny who sidesteps her opponent and then quickly spins around and with her right arm grabs Geri by the throat from behind and yanks her down to the mat with a modified Zig Zag.
Jenny quickly rolls on top of Geri for the cover.
WINNER -Jenny Myst and Ash Q.
HHL: Well that was uhhhh, something.
Pip: That match was too long in my opinion.
The scene opens up to Reggie at the Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 Club, sitting with the local and eating some burger and drinking some water, dressed in a Duck's Jersey and short pants with his hair tied to the back. As he was eating his burger, some people noticed who was among them, and one of the patrons tries come up to him by shoving his shoulder trying to get his attention.
"What you need sir?"
"You aren't a real fighter, pro wrestling anit real!"
"Oh thanks for letting me know that... i'll keep that in mind as I have my match few hours from now."
"Oh that Ring Master guy? He's not tough as me!"
Reggie then turns around to see this biker like dude who had a chain on his fist, then Reggie then goes back to eat his burger, but the biker dude takes his food and drink and tosses it on the floor. Reggie then turned around again, and the biker told him to fight. Reggie gets out of the restaurant, as the guy was getting restrained by the guards. He then goes back to his locker room, and he see's Sayors tryin to interview him.
"What you want, culo... I anit got time for your shit."
"Oh Reggie, give me a chance to talk to you... what was going on with that bar guy? He seemed to not like you."
"Oh, you could tell huh?... well I didn't like that pendejo anyways. He tried it with me, but I wasn’t going to cause no disturbance in that restaurant. Can't afford to go to jail again."
"Right, right... well moving on to other things, you have a big match up against Ring Master coming soon. How do you feel about it?"
"I feel like it's just another match, which happens to be something that's going to be my calling card to take things to the X-Treme, which happens to be apart of my character here in XWF. I mean, falls count anywhere? I could land in Savannah's locker room to see her blow off CELT or Liam Roberts just to gain a rep here. I could take him out in the streets, and fuck him sideways to the point that he's gonna end up on a milk carton."
"Oh wow, you have a strong words against Ring Master, how did you feel about him comparing you to a pirate in his last vignette about you?”
Reggie then laughs it off, and pulls out a eye patch and fake parrot as he does some kinda pirate noise, as he swings his non existent sword towards Sayors direction.
“Arghhh He be stealing me thunder, as I wanna plunder that fake arise blackbeard of the sea! He wenches my plans for…”
Reggie rips off the eye patch and tosses the parrot off his shoulder, and he takes the mic from Steve and look dead at the camera as if he wanted Ring Master to know this anit no Peter Pan shit, as he speaks.
“Listen here Ring Master, you and your wanna be Pirates of Carribean production anit worth two cents to even be betted on for another sequel.
Puede que seas el mejor luchador y pirata, pero no eres más que una pérdida de tiempo.
Sabes muy bien que me aseguraré de sacarte la mierda a golpes. Podría sacarte de ese círculo y enviarte a un bote que tiene un tablón para que caigas en aguas infestadas de tiburones.
No me importa si ganas, todo lo que quiero hacer es romperte con algo lo suficientemente apropiado para que estos fanáticos, incluido ese motociclista, sepan que no estoy jodiendo.
¡Ahora lárgate, Steve!”
Then Reggie simply shoves Sayors from his locker room, and slammed the door in his face, as he laughed and putting on his gear, as it cut back to the arena.
Announcer: The next contest is an Xtreme match! Introducing first, standing 6'6" and weighing 299 lbs, from Inverness, Scotland, here is The Celt!!
The Celt walks to the ring with a tear away kilt, a claymore strapped to his back, and a trag wrapped around his forearm arm. The Celt enters the ring and stares at his foe, undistracted by the pre match chaos around him.
HHL: The Celt has been looking for an honorable contest, but hasn't been finding it lately. He doesn't seem too sure he'll see it from Angelica, either.
PIP: It depends. Is it honorable to hit your opponent in the face with a steel chair? Because that might be what we get to see next!
HHL: Anything is allowed in an Xtreme match, for sure.
EYES
ON
VAUGHNEMOUS
NO, I WON'T GIVE IN, I WON'T GIVE IN
TILL' I'M VICTORIOUS
AND I WILL DEFEND
I WILL DEFEND
The lights in arena turn into an explosion of pinks, purples, greens, rainbows, unicorns on fire, lucky charms, rivers of sugar, and mountains of Meow Mix Ocean Explosion tuna treats as Angelica Vaughn walks out onto the ramp. She pauses with her hands on her hips, letting her cape sway gently, and gives her opposite coast home crowd a wide smile. Behind her, a blur of black and red speeds forward and under her arms as Sarah Lacklan slides in front of her and matches her pose, her head nearly a full foot under Angie's. Sarah tilts her head way wayway back and up and flashes her Billion $$$ Smile, and the two wink at each other. Angie then takes her hands off her hips and pushes Sarah forward, making the former Universal Champion squawk in wide-eyed surprise, before the two make their way down the aisle.
Halfway there, Angie slows to a stop, her face turning slack, with her jaw falling to her chin. Ahead of her, Sarah sighs and rolls her eyes before backing up to Angie and, with a gentle firmness, pulling her away from that Cute Boy she had noticed sitting in an aisle seat. Angie looks longingly at the verified Cute Boy while Sarah shakes her head.
Once at ringside, Sarah slides into the ring underneath the ropes as Angie climbs the steps. Sarah gets to her feet and pulls down the top rope with all her weight, allowing Angie to step over the top rope like the most giant of giant wrestlers. As Angie walks to the center of the ring and stands with her hands on her hips, Sarah takes a microphone from Tigs and gives her a big wink.
SARAH:Hello, everyone! My name is Sarah Lacklan-
The crowd, dutifully, responds with the sound of a trumpet’s fanfare.
SARAH:World’s Greatest Life Coach and I am here to introduce to you the very FIRST member of the Family First of the XWF and my absolute (non-spouse) #RideOrDie. She is standing at the eternally totes-too-tall height of five feet and eleven inches...
CROWD: BAY-BAY
SARAH:...and weighing in today at about...oh...I'd say about thirteen or fourteen well-fed kitties...and because she likes dumb, useless, God-awful farm chores-
Sarah shutters in disgust.
SARAH:-she is fighting out of the Supes Totes Amaze Ranch in Texas...she is the Leggy Blonde of Legend…President of the Deborah Hodge Fan Club…the FUN-raiser of the XWF...the Vaughnemous A.N.G…
The crowd waits patiently as Sarah takes a deep breath.
SARAH:ANGELICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Angie raises her hands into the air as a bedazzled spotlight shines down on her.
SARAH:VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
The crowd breaks out into a chant as Angie leads them with pumps of her arms.
HHL: As always, Angelica Vaughn has the crowd excited!
PIP: I hope they're as excited when she's being thrown through a table by the Celt!
HHL: Let's face it, some will be happy no matter who's taking the bumps.
PIP: True.
ANGELICA VAUGHN
- vs -
THE CELT XTREME RULES - 1 RP
The bell rings, as Angelica Vaughn and The Celt consider each other. As they prepare to lock up, triumphant music begins to play. Both stop, confused, as a group of younger men begin bringing tables down the aisle. Each table looks to have a variety of weapons on them, from barbed wire bats to trash can lids. The tables are positioned around the ring, set up for easy access, as the men leave. Neither Vaughn nor The Celt seemed to have been expecting it.
HHL: What is all this about?
PIP: Hmmm, it looks like someone wants to make sure this match is Xtreme as possible!
HHL: Wait, did you arrange this, Pip?
PIP: ... What would make you say that? I certainly wouldn't come up with something this brilliant...
Both wrestlers consider the arsenals positioned around the ring. Vaughn looks particularly displeased. She shakes her head and walks forward towards The Celt, who prepares to fight. But Vaughn just offers a handshake instead, as per her custom. The Celt, suspicious, refuses, saying that he doesn't trust "the vilest blackguard of the lot", and backs away, telling her to come on. Vaughn, shrugging, comes in with speed, ducking under The Celt's clothesline attempt, then spinning into a kick that knocks him towards the ropes.
As The Celt rights himself, he turns back towards Vaughn, but she's already there, lashing out with a series of palm strikes and backhand chops, working to weaken the larger wrestler. She grabs him by the head, aiming to hit a running bulldog, but The Celt stops her momentum, straightening up to lift her into the air... and then hits a modified backbreaker, sending her dropping off to the side, in tremendous pain! She rolls away, grabbing at the ropes, as The Celt gets to his feet, his intensity growing by the minute.
HHL: A nice reversal from The Celt there, as he hopes to use his extreme power and size advantage to dominate this one.
PIP: He could just use those clawed kendo sticks that are just outside the ring. That'd be easier.
HHL: I don't think that's what the Celt is looking for, although he DID warn Vaughn to take a few weeks off rather than come here tonight.
The Celt already has Vaughn back up, lifting her up into the air with a gorilla press. He takes a few steps, showing off his impressive strength, before twisting Vaughn around to land a gorilla press suplex! He makes the first cover of the match, holding onto both legs...
ONE!
TWO!
And Vaughn shifts her shoulder up, keeping this match alive. The Celt, not expecting anything else, pulls Vaughn back up, showing no mercy as he hammers her with a couple of stiff punches. He then picks her up around the arms and tosses her backwards, sending her crashing into the corner! She hangs there, stunned, as The Celt yells at the crowd about courage and honor. He backs to the opposite corner, then runs forward, intent on taking Vaughn's head off her shoulders. But Vaughn is already shoving herself out of the corner, leaping forward and catching a surprised Celt with a Sick Kick!! Celt crashes down, as Vaughn rolls an arm on top of him, hanging on...
ONE!
TWO!
And The Celt kicks out!
HHL: Vaughn's feet are easily her most dangerous weapons, as she showed us once again!
PIP: Sure, but why not wrap those shoes in barbed wire for greater impact??
HHL: Because she would stab her feet every time she walked?
PIP: Not if she keeps it to the sides! I swear, all these weapons here, and they're not getting used! Personally, I think Vaughn would look amazing wearing barbed wire...
HHL: Let's not get started on that again...
As The Celt tries to recover, Vaughn has moved onto him, applying a Triangle Choke to try and keep him down. She stretches on her opponent, trying to work him into a submission, as the referee circles both wrestlers. But The Celt isn't having it, refusing to submit. He instead slowly pulls himself up, taking Vaughn with him, and manages to slam her back down, breaking the hold! Vaughn rolls away, trying to recover, as The Celt takes a few deep breaths of air, slowly rising up.
Vaughn, seeing The Celt back on his feet, pulls herself up on the side. She looks to the outside, as if considering the many available tools out there, but she quickly shakes her head and turns back, charging The Celt instead and spinning into a heel kick... but The Celt catches her on the way, twisting her up into the air and getting a side powerslam, driving her into the canvas!! As Vaughn coughs, her lungs crushed from the impact, The Celt stays on top for another cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THR- and Vaughn fights out of the pin!
PIP: Why is Vaughn not accepting m-, er, why isn't she using the weapons to help her win?
HHL: Everyone knows Angelica Vaughn loathes using weapons, Pip. Well, almost everyone, I guess.
PIP: But... they're right there!!
Neither Vaughn nor The Celt seem interested in taking this fight out of the ring. There are a few chants from the crowd, wanting to see some bloodshed, but most are simply enjoying the meshing of two styles of wrestling. The Celt has Vaughn back up now, picking her up into a fireman's carry. He takes a few steps, showing off how easy it is for him, before dropping her with a death valley driver! Vaughn is splayed out on the mat, but The Celt isn't done. He tells the ref to move, and heads towards the ropes. This gets some fans on their feet, but The Celt is just getting some distance. He runs back towards Vaughn, going for a Warrior splash... and Vaughn moves, causing The Celt to hit the mat!
As The Celt sits up, wincing from the missed shot, Vaughn struggles to her feet. She comes in at The Celt before he can recover, taking advantage of him being down by landing a multitude of Muay Thai knee strikes!! She goes wild, getting the crowd energized with her, as she keeps striking away. The Celt finally manages to shove her aside, fighting to get to his feet. He only makes it partway, as Vaughn uses the momentum from the shove to spring back off the ropes and jumps, hitting a scissors kick to chop The Celt back down! She then makes the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THRE- No! The Celt kicks out in time!
HHL: Even with the size advantage, Vaughn is working to stay in this one!
PIP: You know what would make her taller, Heather? ONE OF THOSE LADDERS OUT THERE!!
HHL: It's clear neither wrestler cares about the Xtreme stipulations, Pip. This is about The Celt wanting revenge after Angelica stole a pin on Knightley, and on Angelica trying to prove she's truly better than The Celt!
PIP: This is the least extreme Xtreme match I've ever seen...
Vaughn rolls herself up, feeling the pain from this hard-fought competitive contest. The Celt gets up as well, refusing to stay down, but he's got no defense as Vaughn leaps into him, hitting a bicycle kick that knocks The Celt backwards into the ropes! Vaughn then follows it up with a second kick, managing to knock The Celt over the ropes and to the floor below! She rallies her fans, feeling their energy, as the cameras shift to the recovering Celt.
He slowly gets himself up, angry at the disgraceful attitude of Vaughn. He starts to reach for the ropes, then pauses, staring behind him at the table. He steps over to it, picking up a rather heavy-looking tool. It appears to be a modified version of a flail, with a seemingly heavy iron ball attached to the chain. He swings it back and forth, admiring the weapon, before turning and beginning to enter the ring with it. Vaughn, turning towards him, pales as she sees what he's got in his hands.
HHL: Uh oh. This just got more serious!
PIP: Now we're talking!
HHL: You really want to see Vaughn get hit? After all your talk?
PIP: Look, she had the chance to arm herself. Hell, she still does, if she gets out of there!
The Celt swings the flail back and forth, showing that he's got some experience with this type of weapon. Vaughn backs off, watching closely, prepared to try and dodge him. The Celt yells at her to go get her own weapon, wanting this to be a true contest, but Vaughn just shakes her head rapidly, moving back into the ropes. The Celt seems to tense, ready to charge... then he angrily throws the flail aside, sending it bouncing out of the ring! Vaughn, surprised, glances that direction, which allows The Celt hitting her with a powerful clothesline that bounces her painfully off the ropes and to the mat! The Celt then covers...
ONE!
TWO!
THR- and Vaughn manages to kick out!
PIP: I just don't understand...
HHL: The Celt didn't want to win that way, Pip.
PIP: That beautiful flail...
The Celt is back on his feet now, glaring down at his wounded opponent. He steps forward, putting his foot across Vaughn's throat, demanding submission to The Triumph!!! Vaughn kicks wildly, and the ref immediately signals for The Celt to back off, doing a five count. The Celt, confused, steps off, looking at the ref, who points to where Vaughn's legs were kicking... into the ropes.
Visibly annoyed, The Celt grabs hold of Vaughn's arm and drags her backwards, away from the ropes. But Vaughn suddenly kicks backwards from the mat, catching The Celt in the side of the head! The Celt staggers, still hanging on, so Vaughn kicks him twice more, until finally The Celt drops to a knee, stunned. Vaughn then kips up, putting all of her remaining energy into hitting the ropes and coming back...
VAUGHNEMOUS!!!
The Celt collapses to the mat, as Vaughn exhaustedly falls on top of him...
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!
WINNER - Angelica Vaughn
HHL: Vaughn did it!! She gets a huge win over The Celt!!
PIP: No weapons used at all... I think I'm going to cry...
HHL: It was still a fantastic match!
PIP: Celt, why didn't you use the flail? Why?
Vaughn celebrates the victory as we cut away.
The smoke fills up with red on the stage, as the arena lights flickers. Then once we see "The Rebellious One" on the X-Tron, then we hear the voice of Bone Thugs and Reggie walks down to song. Then we see him with walking down the ramp, and stop at the camera gives it the finger. Then he rolls into the ring, and goes to the top rope and poses. Then he jumps down, and chills on the corner as his theme cuts off.
PC: "Reggie Estrada is a dangerous, dangerous man Heather! He's coming out here to do some serious DAMAGE tonight!"
HHL: "I wouldn't want to fight the Xtreme champion, that's for sure!
Ring Master walks down the ramp to a thunderous standing ovation. The big ol' wrassler waves at the fans and shakes a few hands before he climbs the steel steps and enters the ring, clearly ready for a big match.
PC: "And here comes RingMaster! The fans are loving him!"
HHL: "Is it RingMaster or Ring Master? Either way, he's a master of violence inside that squared circle!"
PC: "For his sake I hope he's as good outside the ring as he is inside of it, because this match is falls counts anywhere!"
REGGIE ESTRADA
- vs -
RING MASTER FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE - 1 RP
DING! DING! DING!
As the bell rings both wrestlers seem to change their demeanors. A nasty scowl spreads across Reggie's face as Ring Master furrows his brow and stomps his feet into the mat. Another second passes before Reggie and Ring Master lock eyes: then the big man charges forward like a bull in a china shop! Ring Master lashes out with a huge clothesline but the wily veteran Estrada is able to finagle underneath it! Reggie bounces off the far ropes before sprinting back towards Ring Master, who turns around just in time to drop Estrada with a shoulder check!
The big shoulder forces Estrada to fall to the mat with all of his momentum atop him. Ring Master wastes no time before he starts laying into his downed opponent with big boots to the face and torso! The crowd counts along with the kicks, all the way up to 4, before Reggie Estrada is able to escape from the ring by rolling beneath the bottom rope. Ring Master walks over to the side of the ring and calls Reggie Estrada a coward, but Reggie just rubs his bruised lip while staring back up at Ring Master with angry intent. Ring Master gestures out to the crowd for a few seconds before he decides to step out of the ring and onto the outside mats.
PC: "It looks like Ringmaster is off to a hot start tonight! The big man is putting his size to good use, and heck, he has a whole lotta' size advantage on Reggie! Ring Master is half a foot tall and nearly fifty pounds heavier- and it's all muscle!"
HHL: "Ring Master has the size advantage, but I think Reggie is counting on having the STREETS advantage- that's probably why he rolled out of the ring! I'm not sure it's a smart idea for Ring Master to follow him!"
As Reggie is walking around outside the ring, chatting up with hot girls in the front row and pissing off their husbands, he sees Ring Master yelling his name and charging straight at him! Reggie rolls out of the way just in time for Ring Master to deliver a huge right shoulder to nothing but the ringside barrier! Estrada laughs to himself as Ring Master falls down to one knee against the barrier.
PC: "OUCH- that had to hurt!"
HHL: "Reggie has so much experience wrestling in the XWF, he knows all the tricks and tactics! Ring Master should NOT want anything except a normal, boilerplate in-ring matchup against Estrada! This stuff is Reggie's wheelhouse!"
Ring Master goes to step up but Reggie is right there with a charlie horse kick and a rough slap to the back of the head. Reggie pulls Ring Master away from the barrier before flipping him around, kicking him in the gut, and then DDTing him onto the floor! A sickening CRACK is heard throughout the arena as Ring Master's skull connects to paydirt. Reggie flips Ring Master around and the ref slides out of the ring to count the pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Ring Master explodes up, throwing Reggie completely off of him! The referee hops back up to his feet, and just a second later, Ring Master is back up, too! AND HE LOOKS PISSED OFF!
PC: "A kick out from Ring Master, and now it looks like he's coming to give Reggie Estrada some just desserts!"
HHL: "Ring Master looks like he has a second wave here! Reggie could be in trouble!"
Reggie gets back up to his feet and makes eye contact with Ring Master. The Ring Master charges ahead at Reggie and tries to grab him, but Estrada slides back into the ring just in time to avoid it! This frustrates Ring Master even more as he has to slide into the ring behind Estrada. As Ring Master slides beneath the bottom rope he is struck by Estrada's foot before he can stand up. Before Ring Master even realizes what's happening, Estrada is laying into him with a seemingly endless barrage of kicks!
PC: "Another cheap trick from Estrada!"
HHL: "Cheap trick? That was just great strategy!"
Reggie Estrada keeps going absolutely apeshit with the kicks, and it looks like Ring Master may have actually been busted open above the eye! A sicko's grin is plastered across Reggie's face, because it looks like he is just having waaaayyy too much fun kicking a man while he's down!
PC: "Before this match Reggie Estrada said there will be no peace for Ring Master, he said that he was going to take his opponent to a land of savagery and brutality: and well..it looks like they've just made that trip!"
HHL: "This is not a good spot for Ring Master to be in! If something doesn't change soon, we could be nearing the end of this match!"
Ring Master tries to intelligently defend himself from the barrage of boots, but he's unable to stop them all from landing, and soon enough his face is looking plenty bruised and battered. Blood leaks out of a few cuts on his forehead, and the scarlet ichor trickles down his face like a tributary river to Reggie Estrada. As the kicks just don't seem to stop, Ring Master seems to be losing a bit of his gusto. Reggie sees this and decides to take a break from the kicking. Instead, Reggie looks over to the top ropes- and decides he wants to FLY!
Reggie calmly walks away from his downed opponent and ascends a corner turnbuckle. Reggie positions himself on the top rope as he looks down at his bloody and battered opponent. Reggie looks out at the crowd, which is definitely not cheering for him, before he licks his lips and runs his finger across his throat.
PC: "Reggie has some bad intentions right here!"
HHL: "But going up high is always a risky maneuver! Let's see how this plays out for him!"
Reggie stands up tall before leaping off the top rope! He twists and contorts his body around in the air, clearly going for a senton dive!
BUT RING MASTER PUTS HIS KNEES UP!
Reggie's body slams into the harsh cartilage of Ring Master's hulking knees, and Reggie immediately starts to regret his risky decision! Estrada rolls around the ring while screaming in pain, as his chest cavity just feels like it was damn near collapsed by those knees. Before Reggie even knows it he has rolled back out of the ring, and he is now writhing around on the exterior mats in pain. Ring Master, meanwhile, is slowly but surely trying to pick himself up with the assistance of the ring ropes.
HHL: "Ring Master just saved his own skin there! That could have been the end of it if Reggie had landed!"
PC: "But like you said Heather, risky decisions have risky consequences! Reggie had to do what he had to do to put Ring Master down, but sometimes it's just not that easy!"
Ring Master finally picks himself up to his feet, where he wipes away a literal sheet of blood from his eyes before looking around the ring and trying to locate Reggie Estrada. Ring Master looks quite confused, though it's unclear if that comes from his likely concussion or something else. Either way, the bleeding and stumbling Ring Master only figures out where his opponent is after Reggie Estrada is finally able to pick himself up with the help of the ringside apron.
That's when Ring Master and Reggie Estrada lock eyes once more.
Ring Master immediately charges the ropes near Reggie. Reggie stands there frozen, unsure what to do, as he sees Ring Master shooting through the middle ropes facefirst! Ring Master's body flies through the ropes and outside the ring at breakneck speed, LITERALLY!
PC: "HE'S TRYING TO HIT HIS SIGNATURE MOVE THROUGH THE ROPES!"
HHL: "The Ringer! He's going for The Ringer through the ropes!"
But before Ring Master connects with his target, Reggie Estrada figures out that he should duck, so RingMaster flies straight THROUGH the ringside barrier, headfirst! The ringside barrier LITERALLY cracks wide open with a RingMaster sized hole, and the fans in the front row look like they just saw a man turn into a ghost!
PC: "Oh my god, Heather! He might be dead now!"
HHL: "I don't know how anyone could survive a fall like that!"
The referee slides out of the ring to go check on Ring Master, but Reggie Estrada pushes the referee back. Then, Reggie picks Ring Master's unconscious body up before locking him in position for an inverted double underhook facebuster. Reggie sends RingMaster crashing down to the ground with his rare finishing move, the Azteca Sunrise! Reggie makes the cover for the pin!
1!
2!!
3!!!
WINNER -Reggie Estrada
We got to the locker room area where an XWF staff is standing by.
SS: Hello fans, it is I, Steve Sayors, the BEST interviewer the XWF has to offer, and I bet you were wondering where I have been this whole time, right?
Crickets.
What’s that? No, well you are just cruel aren’t ya? *Ahem*, In any event, I’m here outside the locker room of the man with venom in his veins, looking to get a word before his big main event match tonight, where he challenges Bobby Bourbon for the Television championship!
He knocks on the doors and waits patiently, after a few moments, Xavier Lux answers, wearing his wrestling gear, looking ready to go.
Xavier! Long time! How are you doing?!
Um, hey… man…?
I’m Steve Sayors...
Right. Look Stephen, I’m kind of busy and not buying anything right now…
Huh? It’s Steve, I’m an XWF Interviewer, Xavier! I was the first one to interview you when you first joined this promotion.
Oh yeah? That’s cool man…
…
So, what can I do for ya?
*ahem* Well you are in tonight’s main event for the very first time if I am not mistaken, so wanted to get your thoughts on that.
Ah, well, yeah, I won’t lie to you, I do have a bit of butterflies flying around in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been in XWF for about 8 months now, having my ups and downs and this is the highest I’ve reached so far. But don’t let that fool any of you, especially my opponent, once my music hits and I step out into that ramp, the butterflies will go away and my focus will shift. When that bell rings, I’ll be ready to go in whatever type of crazy match Bourbon has planned for us.
It’s a Gravitron Cage Match. Essentially a Hell in a Cell in which you can walk on the walls and ceilings because, well, sports entertainment.
Well I’ve been in plenty of cage matches, but it wouldn’t be Bobby Bourbon if it wasn’t some weird of stipulation match… I’m just glad he didn’t pick something stupid like making me wear a ridiculous wig since he couldn’t shave my head like he did Jenny. But yeah, one of the many things I am good at is adjusting for any opponent or any situation during a match… So once I’m in there, sure, Bobby will have the advantage in the early going because this is his baby… But I will learn, I will adapt, and very much hope to beat him at his own game and having him be a “one and done” champ.
Well you definitely seem ready for tonight, but let’s talk about next week. You are once again the main event, this time in Thursday Night Anarchy, challenging Mastermind for the Anarchy championship! I mean come next Thursday night; you could very well be a 2-time champ.
It’s amazing, isn’t it? For 8 months I don’t even smell the main event scene, and then, out of nowhere, within a week’s time, two back-to-back main event title matches. The wrestling business is a funny world to live in, but I will say this, hard work pays off… It’s taking me a long time to get find my footing here in XWF, but after beating a few quality opponents here I am. I would love nothing more than to be a champ-champ, but right now, I am not even thinking about Mastermind or his Anarchy championship. It’s all about Bourbon and the TV title… But I will say this to Double M, I am glad you can see me champ… Seeing is believing they say, so believe this Master Mind: You will see me coming, and it still won’t be enough to stop me. Gotta go Stefan, thanks for the time.
Xavier slams the door in Sayors' face before he can correct him.
It’s… Steve… *sigh* back to you guys…
The camera cuts to the ringside area where PIP and Heather are ready to call the next match.
PIP: What a loser.
HHL: Have a heart PIP.
PIP: I have a heart, it’s just 3 sizes too small and full of coal.
HHL: I believe it.
Announcer: About to enter the arena, standing in at 6’4 and weighing in at 239 pounds!!!
The words fade as we hear the Church bells cling before the guitar riff starts playing along with the choir singing. The music builds up to where finally Corey Taylor can be heard. The name Goth emerges upon the titan tron, but the man only walks out after Corey Taylor can be heard screaming the words: “I’m finally holding on to letting go!!” As explosions go off on the side of the entrance stage. Goth stares at the crowd as his fiancé Melissa emerges behind him.
Announcer: Currently residing from Manhattan, New York!!! He is the King of Kings!! Goth!!!!
Goth lifts his head upwards to the ceiling while extending his arms, a smirk emerges upon his face as he listens to the mixed reactions. After a few seconds he looks back ahead of him towards the ring walking slowly, totally ignoring the fans who are trying to touch him as he walks to the steel ring steps. He gets on the ring apron before opening up the top and middle ring rope for his fiancé Melissa as she steps through them. He then steps in the ring and awaits his opponent as his music slowly fades.
HHL: Goth has been a fixture in the wrestling business for many years, but this will be his first contest in the XWF!
PIP: What the hell took him so long to get here? Slacker.
HHL: From what I've seen of him, it's the XWF that should be disappointed that they hadn't signed him before now.
PIP: We've got him now, that's what matters.
Helix Nebula by Anamanaguchi blasts as colored lights in beat to the rhythm pass over the roaring crowd. When the beat kicks in Game Girl swoops down from the rafters on her flying cloud, Nimbus, going over fans and reaching down to give them passing high fives before sailing over to the ring and flipping down to her feet into a fist-raising pose.
HHL: Game Girl made her return at War Games, and what a return it was! Making it all the way to the finals!
PIP: But she didn't win.
HHL: No, her teammate did, which in some ways means the entire team won.
PIP: Teamwork. Ugh.
GOTH
- vs -
GAME GIRL STANDARD SINGLES - SAVAGE RULES
HHL: There is an interesting dynamic in this contest. Both of these wrestlers have plenty of experience in the ring, but both could also use a victory tonight to show they're ready to make an impact on Savage in the near future.
PIP: True. Of course, the other dynamic is that this one's going to be a tongue-twister.
HHL: What?
PIP: As in, "Goth Grabs Game Girl and Gives Her A Gutwrench Powerbomb As The Gallery Gasps". Say that five times fast!
As the bell sounds, Goth walks up to Game Girl, who looks happy as always. Goth towers over Game Girl, smirking as he crosses his arms. He looks down on her, seemingly not expecting much. Game Girl offers a fist bump, but Goth just ignores it, shaking his head. Game Girl looks a bit surprised, but rolls with it, shrugging and bumping her fist against her robot arm instead. Goth, seeing Game Girl turn away from him, immediately goes for a swing, but Game Girl seems to sense it, ducking underneath.
She then runs for the ropes, gaining speed as her feet begin to Shift-Slide! She flies back at Goth, who can't dodge fast enough as she smashes right past him, sending him spinning! As Goth regains his balance, Game Girl returns, leaping towards him and scoring a Raging Uppercut! Goth falls back towards the ropes, staying up but looking stunned for a second. Game Girl, still moving incredibly fast, spins into a Low Sweep, taking Goth's legs out from under him! He rolls outside, trying to pull himself back together, as Game Girl bops in the ring, excited at the cheers she's getting!
HHL: Game Girl hasn't lost a step since War Games!
PIP: She better not get too cocky, though. Not against a veteran like Goth.
HHL: There's a difference between being confident and being cocky.
PIP: Maybe, but that's a fine damn line between them that's easy to cross...
With the referee beginning his count, Goth takes a few moments to assess the situation. He's too experienced to let himself get too frustrated early on. He takes his time coming back in, with the fans not sounding too pleased at the delay. Game Girl revs herself up, ready to go. She goes at Goth as he enters the ring, going at him with a High Kick! But Goth is able to barely avoid it, allowing him to grab hold of the surprised Game Girl and begin to hammer her with forearms, refusing to let her go.
With Game Girl staggered, Goth pulls her in close, easily picking her up in a fireman's carry. She struggles to break free, but Goth's size advantage serves him well, as he grabs hold of her leg with one hand and her head with the other, spinning her off to land a fireman's carry powerbomb!! Game Girl lays flat, her wits temporarily knocked out of her, as Goth stares down at her with a smile. He steps over her, putting a foot right into her ribcage along the way, before turning to the ropes and nodding out at his fiancé.
PIP: Game Girl just lost some major hit points from that move!
HHL: Goth said that he was going to show Game Girl some tough love tonight.
PIP: If that's love, I'd hate to see the hate.
Goth hasn't let Game Girl off the mat. Instead, he's been working her over, locking her into a spinning armbar submission and hanging on tight. Game Girl is feeling the pain from her true arm, struggling against the hold, as she looks towards the ropes to her right. But they seem awfully far away. Goth twists slightly more, wanting more leverage, and Game Girl instinctively responds... causing a huge Light Bomb to launch from her hand, blinding Goth!!
As Goth stumbles back, trying to clear his view, Game Girl gets to her feet with a kip up, rotating her arm for a moment to get the blood circulating again. She tightens her fists, charging up, as she begins to glow. Goth, finally seeing the spots going away, shakes his head and turns back to Game Girl... who flies at him, hitting a Power-Up Punch!! Goth goes down, with Game Girl quickly jumping on top of him and grabbing a leg...
ONE!
TWO!
And Goth kicks out!
HHL: There are few fighters in the XWF as unique as Game Girl!
PIP: But wouldn't you agree that using a blinding light should be considered cheating?
HHL: It's part of her, Pip, just like that robotic arm of hers.
PIP: So if I have a stun gun surgically affixed to my index finger, I could zap anyone I want?
Goth, having shoved Game Girl off of him, works his way up to his feet. He finds Game Girl waiting for him, as she begins to tie off with a Super Combo, landing a Shift-Slide, two punches, a raging uppercut, a Hyper Bomb, and the Romper Stomper!! She's got Goth down again, as she goes for another cover...
ONE!
TWO!
TH- and Goth again pushes her off in time! Game Girl doesn't seem concerned about it, as she feels like she's in the groove right now. She sets up for another combo, ready to start to put things away. She comes in, firing her first shot... and Goth catches her fist, blocking it! He then reaches out with his other hand, raking across Game Girl's eyes!! The referee warns Goth as Game Girl staggers back, but Goth has no problems with returning the "blindness" from earlier. He steps in, pulling Game Girl towards him, and snaps her down with the Goth Drop!!! Game Girl's legs shake as Goth drops onto her, making the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THR- and Game Girl manages to kick out!
HHL: That was close! Goth has some devastating moves in his arsenal!
PIP: He's been in the business for twenty years. You can bet he's catalogued moves we've never even heard of in that time!
HHL: Well, now's a good opportunity to break those out and keep Game Girl down!
With Game Girl still trying to recover, Goth has gotten back to his feet. He waits behind as Game Girl gets up, moving to grab her and start to lock her into the Gothic Dream submission!! But Game Girl's robotic arm shoots out, managing to grab the ropes before she can be pulled away, and the ref signals for the break! Goth tries to yank her free, but her grip is rock-solid, so he reluctantly drops the submission.
As Game Girl turns around, Goth instead boots her in the gut, bending her over. He goes to lock her in, prepared to try for the Chaos ADDT!! But Game Girl has another trick shot in her quiver, as she reaches out with her arm... and releases the Electric Wind God Fist to the side, sending an electric shock through Goth!! He staggers back, as Game Girl feels the same effects, having been held by Goth. She shakes it off, though, long enough to launch herself at him... hitting an Atomic Headbutt!! Both wrestlers stare at each other after the impact for several seconds before both fall backwards, dropping to the mat!!
HHL: Ouch! I don't know who got the worst of that headbutt!
PIC: That's the danger of using your noggin. Stick to punching guys in the face, it's safer!
HHL: Can either wrestler recover?
The referee starts his mandatory 10 count, watching to see if the wrestlers can continue. A few seconds into the count, both wrestlers begin to stir. Game Girl, having braced for the impact before delivering the headbutt, sits up, rubbing her head. She struggles to get up, staggering, as Goth rolls over onto his stomach. He pushes up, trying to recover. But the count ends before he rises, as Game Girl is up first!
She sets herself, breathing heavily, before preparing for the ULTRA COMBO!! She comes forward... and Goth twists her around, working to get her into the GOTHIC DREAM!! He works to lock it in, as Game Girl desperately blocks it with her robotic hand, hanging on. She can't fight off his size, though, as Goth drops backwards with her, working to get the submission hold tightened on. Game Girl fights, arching her body, as the referee suddenly slides in...
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!!
The ref signals for the bell, as Goth tosses Game Girl off of him, rising up. He smiles, pushing to his feet, but the referee waves him off... then goes over and raises Game Girl's hand!!
WINNER - GAME GIRL
HHL: Wait, were Goth's shoulders down??
PIP: I thought he had her!!
HHL: Game Girl looked to be in a bad way, but that last arch changed Goth's body position! What a shocking ending!
Goth argues with the referee, saying that Game Girl must have either tapped out or passed out, but the referee doesn't seem to care, sticking to his call. Game Girl has rolled out of the ring, leaning on the apron, exhausted but seemingly pleased with the ending.
Savage returns from commercial and we see the XWF's Official Interviewer Steve Sayors roaming the halls. He's moving quickly as if he's a man on a mission. He looks back a few times to make sure the camera man is keeping pace. They turn a corner and see Theo Pryce in the hall talking to one of the production assistants. Theo looks up and sees Steve approaching and waves him over while simultaneously dismissing the P.A.
Steve Sayors: Theo Pryce, we all heard your announcement at the opening of the show that Mark Flynn will be taking on Raion Kido at Relentless for the Universal Title but you also announced the vacating of the Tag Team titles as a result of Flynn's attack on his partner. Is there a plan for the titles and if so what is it?
Theo Pryce: I'm glad you asked Steve because there is in fact a plan for the tag team titles. I was going to announce it earlier but I could only take so much of Mark's Tin Foil Hat conspiracies before I had to bow out. The plan is a triple threat Enchantment Under the Sea brawl in which you will see "The Midnight Dolls" Vita Valenteen and Dolly Waters taking on John Black and Tommy Wish of "The Thugs" and the in ring return of "Them No Good Bastards" Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles.
Steve Sayors: You heard it here folks. A triple threat Enchantment Under The Sea Brawl at Relentless for the vacated Tag Team Titles. The official in ring return of TNGB. Relentless just got that much better. Thanks for your time Theo.
Theo nods and then walks away as the show transitions to the announcers booth.
HHL: "Welcome back to Savage where we have Michael Graves and Mark Flynn in an Xtra Xtreme Rules match!"
Pip: "Graves is already in the ring! He didn't wait for music, he wants to get this party started!"
In the ring, Michael Graves is rearranging some of the furniture. There was a lot of common items that you'd expect to see in an Xtreme Match as well as a few odd items.
Pip: "We've got Tables stacked on Tables! We have wood, we have glass!"
HHL: "Options are nice.."
Pip: "There is a Toilet sitting at ringside near the railing.. If one of them get a swirlie, I am going to LOSE my shit!"
HHL: "Did you see the bed of nails? Or the mouse traps laid out on the left side of the ring? This is NOT your average Xtreme contest!"
Pip: "Nope, this is XTRA Xtreme!!"
THE LIGHTS GO OUT!
Green and purple lasers!
Smoke!
AC/DC!
ONE WAY OVERPRODUCED MICHEAL GRAVES ENTRANCE!
Gravy charges onto the stage! He actually gets a pop! It's quickly drowned out by the boos!
With a confident swagger brought to you by BarnCoin, Micheal heads down the ramp, flipping off fans, grabbing his junk and all together being a terrible person. Gravy rolls into the ring and postures for the crowd showing them just how fucking cool he is now!
Gravy leans into his corner, chewing gum with a sinister grin. He just can't wait for this to begin![/b]
Comes out in a dazzling blue robe. Across the back, it says "King of the Midcarders". He has no expression and makes no eye contact with his opponent. When the bell rings, he shifts gears and a snarl comes across his face.
"THE DARK WARRIOR"
MICHEAL GRAVES
- vs -
MARK FLYNN XTRA XTREME RULES (like an XTREME MATCH.... BUT MORE!) - 1 RP
Not waiting for any official bell, Michael Graves grabs a trash can lid and races at Flynn. Clobbering him to the back of his head. Flynn jolts but it doesn't do anything special.
Pip: "Those lids are flimsy as hell!"
HHL: "Yeah, it doesn't seem like that bothered Flynn too much.."
Graves winds up the lid and cracks Flynn again. Flynn's snarling grin returns to his face before Michael Graves throws the trash lid at Flynn. The Tag Champion catches it, bends it to show how flimsy it truly is before tossing it to ringside.
As Flynn turns back to enter the ring, Michael Graves has a Stop Sign and overhand slaps it down over Flynn's head. Flynn holds onto the ropes to keep himself from falling. Graves cocks back with the sign and goes for a second shot but Flynn ducks and launches himself through the ropes, colliding into Graves' midsection, taking the air out of Graves' lungs.
Pip: "STOP! Did Mark Flynn just turn himself into a Missile?!"
HHL: "He is partnered with the North Korean War Criminal.. Someone finally figured out the launch codes!"
Drilling Flynn to the back, Michael Graves lifts the Tag Champion around the waist in a gutwrench suplex, sending him high up before he crashes down onto the canvas. Flynn bounces. A trash can, the one that lid had belonged to, was filled with weapons. Graves pulls out an Umbrella, gives it a weird look before tossing it aside.
Pip: "Thankfully he didn't open that in here, it's bad luck.."
What he does pull from the selection is a Hockey Stick. Gripping it tight with both hands as if it were a sword but Mark Flynn dives in from behind with a Chop Block. Graves twists at the knee, dropping down to a knee. Flynn yanks the hockey stick from Graves and snaps it as he whips it down across the nape of Graves' neck and 'The Dark Warrior' falls down onto his hands and knees.
Mark Flynn does waste any time with weapon selection as he up ends the trash can, dumping all the contents out in the ring. Grabbing what is rumored to be his preferred weapon, a steel folding chair.
Slapping the chair against the canvas like a bat as you step into the batter's box. Flynn looks to make contact as he calls his shot. Keeping his eye on the ball and the ball being Grave's face, he goes to swing but Michael Graves throws himself up from a knee, punching Mark Flynn to the balls! The steel chair falls from Flynn's grip.
Now on his feet, Michael Graves keeps Mark Flynn on his. Locking Flynn's arms, Graves begins driving his head at Flynn with Trapped Headbutts on repeat. Keeping Flynn's left arm, Graves pulls Flynn towards the ropes before lifting him over the top ropes with a big Hip Toss that sends Mark Flynn crashing down into the landmine of mouse traps at ringside! The snapping of the traps as Mark Flynn flops around, each move he makes snaps another trap.
HHL: "Michael Graves with the awareness of the outside ring leaves Mark Flynn caught without any cheese!"
Pip: "I heard Peanut Butter works better.. My Dog loves Peanut Butter!"
HHL: "I'm not even going to ask.."
With Flynn on the outside among the mice killers, Michael Graves begins unloading the ring of its furniture. Everything must go as he throws chairs, a baseball bat, the stop sign, the umbrella, a pool stick and even a foam finger.
Pip: "Is that a sock?"
It was a sock with a tied off end and the other side hanging heavy. Clearly a lock in a sock and Graves whipped it at Mark Flynn who was holding his arms up as the debris came flying at him.
HHL: "It's really piling up at ringside and Mark Flynn is being buried in it!"
Having the urge to do more. Graves exits the ring onto the apron. He takes a two step run before leaping off with a Splash but he hits nothing but the pile of equipment he threw out himself!
Pip: "Flynn moved! Michael Graves found nothing but regret with that dive!!"
Crawling out of the mice traps, Mark Flynn uses the guard railing to get to his feet. He had little red markings on his body from the snapped traps. As he groans and stretches his pains away, Mark Flynn pauses and stares at a Toilet.
HHL: "Just seeing it makes me have to pee.."
Pip: "As long as we have to sit out here, I have thought about using a catheter.."
The lid to the toilet wasn't attached so Mark Flynn takes it as he sees Graves coming from the pile up. Swinging it for an overhead shot, Michael's head goes in the hole and it becomes a necklace. Mark Flynn yanks the toilet seat down, pulling Graves forward as Flynn leaps up and connects with a lifting knee to Graves' face.
Whipping Graves around by the toilet seat around his neck, Mark Flynn snaps Graves over with a Modified Snapmare. Graves' heel slaps over the rim of the toilet bowl. It gives Flynn an idea.
Pip: "Wait, what is Flynn doing?!"
In front of a live audience and cameras recording for the people at home. Mark Flynn pulls his dick out and begins relieving himself into the toilet at ringside. Fans were mixed in reaction, women whistled, a few guys did as well. Finally, he shakes a little.
"Pip: "If you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it."
HHL: "I think Mark Flynn is about to further live up to the moniker of 'The Most Hated Man in XWF' and HR will have some paperwork to file!"
Sure enough, Flynn pulls Graves up and goes to shove his head into the toilet. Graves grabs the rim and shoves at it to keep his face from entering the porcelain throne. He drives back an elbow, catching Flynn to the thigh. Graves plants a foot under him and lifts up to his feet, lifting Flynn up across his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Snap tossing him up and over with a quick Death Valley Toss but Mark Flynn lands on his feet! The crowd pops at the athleticism of the Tag Champion as he reaches up and behind, snatching Graves' head and hitting a falling neckbreaker in front of the toilet bowl.
HHL: "Flynn with one hell of a Neckbreaker!"
Getting to his feet, Mark Flynn motions that he wants to end this. Reaching down, he grabs hold of Michael Graves and works to get the bigger man off the floor. Graves again with the elbows, drives one to his side and drills it into Flynn's gut. He throws a second which causes Flynn's grip to release. 'The Dark Warrior' grabs and throws Flynn onto the toilet, seated as if he were about to push out a turd.
Graves scurries back before jolting forward and plows into Flynn's face with a big boot as he sits on the shitter. Flynn slumps and falls off the toilet as blood spills out from his mouth. Graves yanks him up, spins around so his back it to the toilet, he pulls Flynn's head down in between his legs, lifting the Tag Champion at the waist before jumping up and sitting down in a flop onto the toilet, Flynn's head knocks against the porcelain. The crowd roars with excitement for the toilet violence.
Pip: "Brutal! Absolutely brutal!"
HHL: "Flynn could be done after that piledriver! This could be over!"
Reaching back, adding a gag to the situation. Michael Graves pushes the flusher and 'flushes' the toilet. A handful of the crowd give it a laugh. People enjoyed toilet humor. There was no doubt blood in the match now as Flynn had signs of it from his mouth and as he turned onto his back on the ringside floor, his forehead had some streams rolling off the sides.
Graves stands from the toilet and looks around. Finding something of interest, his eyebrows raise and he steps over Flynn to get to it. What he found was a pack of fluorescent light bulbs. He raises them up and the fans react with cheers.
HHL: "That's a lot of bulbs!"
Pip: "At least ten of them and each of them won't be used to light up a room!"
The bundle of lights were taped together so Graves stands them in front of him and begins unwrapping them. His plan was probably to use each for the one hit they could provide for added effect but what happens was that Mark Flynn springs from the ground and Spears through the bulbs and into the knees of Michael Graves! A cloud of dust from the shattering light bulbs helps sell the moment as the live audience erupts!
Pip: "Holy Shit!!"
HHL: "Both men are laid out! Both men have their eyes closed and have been hurt by that spear through the fluorescent bulbs!!"
Laid over Graves. Mark Flynn drops a forearm into Graves' face. Graves shoves Flynn off to the side and both push up using each other to rise. They trade a few stiff shots. On their feet, Graves pushes Flynn back and he falls against the corner railing but shoots from the railing, leaping and blasting Michael Graves with a Front Dropkick to the chest!!
Graves falls back and knocks against the ring post, slumping into a seated position against the post. Flynn races to his feet and tries for a running knee but Graves moves his head and Flynn's knee drives into the unforgiving steel ring post. He collapses as he grabs his knee with both hands and cries out.
HHL: "Oh, Flynn might be hurt!"
Pip: "I heard that from over here! If Graves hadn't moved, we'd be concerned for another man's pain. We, as fans, WANT to see someone get hurt or else it wouldn't be called Xtreme or Xtra!"
HHL: "Hard to argue with that.."
Graves, out of the corner of his eye, turns to see the bed of nails at the other corner of the outside ring area. A smile on his face forms. Flynn was bloody but Graves decided at that moment that he wanted more blood. Grabbing Flynn as he rises himself, Michael Graves was gassed out. Deep inhale as he drills Flynn with a big handed fist. Walking his opponent along the apron, Graves had some words for Flynn as they moved closer to the bed of nails. The recording doesn't pick up the audio of what was said but Flynn blew up and started fighting and again, the two traded off shot after shot as if this was a turn based RPG. Taking turns as they stood only a few feet from the bed with sharp points.
The bigger man takes advantage as Graves throws a headbutt that collides to the eyebrow of Mark Flynn. He knocks the Tag Champion against the apron but he keeps his feet under him. Flynn, out of desperation throws a knee into Graves' nuts and that takes size out of the biggest foe.
HHL: "That's a receipt from earlier!"
Pip: "Oh, Flynn surely handled the tip!"
Trying to shoulder Graves back so he falls back onto the bed of nails. Flynn shoots forearms in a rapid session. Grabbing Graves, Flynn pulls his head into a Front Facelock, hooking his arm. Flynn struggles to lift Graves into a Suplex but gets him up and holds it in a wobbly stall.
Pip: "Noooo way! Mark Flynn is going for his move, 'The End'!"
HHL: "Look for the suplex to turn into a Cutter and Graves will land right onto the Bed of Nails! This is going to be ugly!"
Pip: "This is going to be amazing!!"
As Flynn drops Graves for the cutter, Michael Graves slides out, lands on his feet behind Flynn. Hugging him from behind, Graves goes to lift Flynn with a German Suplex. It would land over the bed of nails as well and the audience gasps as Flynn comes off his feet but the smaller, more agile of the two, reaches out and grabs the bottom ring rope. He pulls at it and slips free of Graves' grasp. Sliding under the ropes and entering the ring, away from the dangers of the bed of nails outside. The crowd gives him a little pop.
Pip: "Love him or hate him, that was a smooth transition from Mark Flynn!"
Angered, tired and frustrated, Michael Graves picks up a Monkey Wrench on the ringside floor. He slides in after Flynn and the two get to their feet seconds apart. Flynn turns and races across the ring as Graves gives chase.
Instead of hitting the ropes, Mark Flynn jumps up and springboards into a high backflip. Michael Graves can't react fast enough as Flynn catches Graves into a Reserve DDT that lands down with a knee into Graves' spine!
Pip: "Uh oh!"
Flynn not hesitating for show, snaps into a twist, hitting Michael Graves with a Cross Rhodes!!
HHL: "LOGICAL CONCLUSION!"
Pip: "Off the springboard no less! Fantastic execution from Mark Flynn!"
The referee, who has otherwise been a spectator, slides in to do the one thing he is getting paid to do. His hand slaps against the canvas.
One..
Two…
Three!!
The sound of the bell dings as music plays and the announcement makes it official.
Pip: "Xtra Xtra! Read all about it! We have a winner!!"
HHL: "I think given a bigger stage, more on the line and more time and preparation, these two could have an even better match! Both of them are contenders to the current Champion and the ceiling is really unlimited for both of them!"
WINNER - Mark Flynn
Savage transitions to commercial as arena staff quickly descend upon the ring to try and clear up the mess that Graves and Flynn just made.
Savage returns from an extended commercial break to the Anti-Gravity Cell already assembled in the ring.
HHL: "Well, I WOULD say that this is the wildest and most interesting match we've had in the XWF… but I can't be 100% certain on that."
PIP: "We've definitely had some wild matches in the XWF's history, Heather. I think it'd be safe to say that this at least lies in the top 7?"
HHL: "7? How'd you come up with that?"
PIP: "Pulled it out of the air."
The lights in the building start to flicker, matching the opening riffs and drums of Disturbed's 'The Infection'. After the intro, a brief pyro explosion goes off in the entrance and as lyrics of the song begin, Xavier Lux steps out from behind the smoke left by the pyro. He stands there sporting his finest black and green gear, looking around at the XWF crowd most of whom boo him loudly after his recent actions. He shakes his head in disappointment and instead focuses on those that do cheer loudly, and even try to fight the boos with a brief “Venom! Venom!” chant. He smirks before making his way down the ramp, keeping his focus on the ring. Once he gets to ringside, he hops on the apron, wiping his boots showing his respect to the canvas where he is about to practice his craft. He then gets inside and makes his way to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle and again just looks around at the crowd who is now giving him a mix reaction. He acknowledges a fan here and there who is showing him support before hopping down from the ring; he checks in with the ref and then gets ready for the match as his music dies down.
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.
As Godzilla blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.
*FUCK 'EM UP, BOBBY, FUCK 'EM UP!*
The two stand in their respective corners as the ring announcer begins their introductions.
"The following contest is an Anti-Gravity Cell Match and is for the XWF Television Championship! There is no escape from this cell and the first competitor to pin or submit their opponent will be the winner! Introducing first, the challenger…. From Los Angeles, California… Weighing 225 lbs…. "VENOM".... XAVIER….. LUX!!!!"
Lux takes a step towards the center of the ring and holds his arms up in the air to louder "Venom!" chants from the crowd.
"And his opponent…. From Washington D.C.! Weighing in a 290 lbs…. Representing BOB…. He is the XWF Television Champion and the Grand Pooh-Bob of the XWF…. BOBBY…. BOURBON!!!!!"
Bobby takes a step forward and raises a fist about 43 degrees into the air to a pop from the crowd. The bell rings and this championship match is underway!
PIP: "Since this is basically a Bobby Bourbon invention… Ya think he has an advantage in this match?"
HHL: "How should I know? Is Bobby Bourbon an astronaut, too?"
The anti-gravity kicks in the two men gain some buoyancy and start bouncing around the ring. They meet in the middle and Bobby takes a swing, Lux bends backwards out of the way and slips around the big man. He grabs him around the waist and suplexes him backwards like a German suplex and the back of Bobby's neck bounces off the mat! The anti-gravity makes the 290 pound Bobby seem weightless! He bounces off the mat then flips into the air until he bounces off the side of the cell! As he heads for the ceiling, Lux pushes himself into the air and catches Bobby midair and hits a reverse neckbreaker off the top of the cell!
The two bounce off and float in the air for a second before Lux grabs Bobby and DDTs him into the roof of the cell! Lux goes for a quick cover on the cell… The official floats up to them and makes the count!
ONE!!
T–!!
HHL: "The champ kicks out at one and a half!"
PIP: "Lux trying to end this one quickly!"
Lux easily pulls Bobby up to his feet and picks him up for a body slam!
HHL: "The lack of gravity in this cell is making the nearly 300 pound Bobby Bourbon seem light as a feather. Lux with the obvious size disadvantage here is having no trouble lifting Bobby up."
He slams Bobby down on the roof of the cell, which then springs Bobby up (or down?) several feet before he boomerangs back and hits the ceiling again. Lux grabs Bobby by both ears and pulls him to his feet again and tries to snap suplex him onto the roof, but he snaps the suplex too hard and it sends the champ soaring through the air to the side of the cell where he latches onto it like Spiderman. Bobby springs himself off and catches Lux midair with a huge clothesline that makes Lux twirl backwards into the opposite side where he smashes against the wall. Bobby lands on his feet on the mat then leaps into the air… soaring towards Lux who manages to spring himself out of the way to the wall beside them. Bobby gives chase, finding his footing against the side wall he springs himself off as Lux does the same again. This time Lux heads back to the roof where he quickly springs back and nails a chasing Bobby in the head with a floating enziguri! The champ's eyes go cross-eyed as he flails away back to the bottom where he finds and sits on one of the top turnbuckles. Lux uses the roof again to spring off and head towards Bobby, but the champ was waiting for him!
As Lux reaches him sitting on the turnbuckle, he tries hitting him with a hurricanrana, but Bobby locks his feet around the middle turnbuckle… Lux doesn't have the strength to pull the big man off! Bobby stands up and steps up to the top rope with Lux still locked into his shoulders….
HHL: "Looks like a Bobby Bomb coming!"
PIP: "This will be lights out for Lux if it hits!"
Lux senses the oncoming doom and quickly fights back with hammerfists to Bobby's face! The champion struggles and loses his footing a bit then simply pushes Lux off his shoulders sending him floating through the air again. Lux fights the forced push by trying to swim midair back to Bobby, but it's not working, he continues to float away towards the opposite side of the ring. Bobby steps back up to the top turnbuckle, jumps off, and like a luchadore springboards off the top rope and like a bullet soars towards Lux!
Just before Bobby's soaring bull charge connects, Lux "matrix's" out of the way with a spin move sending Bobby soaring past him and crashing into the roof damaging it!
PIP: "So what happens if the cell breaks? Does everyone get sucked out like in outer space?"
HHL: "I have… No idea, Pip."
Bobby turns himself around and faces Lux. A gash has opened up on his forehead and blood trickles down the front of Bobby's face. Lux tucks his legs and does backwards flips all the way down until he reaches the mat. The champ then pushes himself down and slowly floats down to the mat. They bounce towards each other to the center of the ring, Lux attacks with a knife-edge chop across Bobby's chest. The two share a stare for a few seconds and Bobby smirks. He challenges Lux to chop him across the chest again, which Lux does and it doesn't phase the champion. The Grand Pooh-Bob laughs out loud to the crowd and that frustrates Lux! The challenger bounces off the ropes, does a spinning 360 and cracks Bobby with another, much sharper, knife-edge chop that seemed to penetrate a little deeper than the last two. Bobby winces, but quickly comes back and grabs Lux around the arm and throws him over his hip slamming with him down onto the mat!
HHL: "Wow! That came out of nowhere! Lux is flattened!"
Bobby holds Lux's shoulders down and barely pulls up a leg…. The referee is in position…
ONE!!
TWO!!
Lux kicks out!
Bobby pushes up and floats up to his feet. He grabs Lux by the head and throws him into the corner with ease where the challenger rests with his back to the turnbuckles. Bobby moves in and starts delivering lefts and rights to the body and head, each blow more devastating than the last.
HHL: "Bob's going to town on this guy, Pip! Lux is trapped in a cave with a bear!"
PIP: "Winnie the Grand Pooh-Bob?"
HHL: "Yeah."
The champ pulls the beaten down challenger out of the corner and throws an arm around the back of the neck and vertical suplexes Lux into the middle of the ring. Bobby is instantly on his feet, he hunches down, then pushes off! He jumps high into the air, bounces off the roof, and comes down with force onto Lux with an elbow! Bobby covers him a little better this time, almost folding Lux in-half!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
Lux kicks out again!
Bobby brings Lux up with him and Irish whips him towards another corner. Lux runs full speed, then jumps onto the top, and springs himself backwards across the ring hitting Bobby with a moonsault! Lux stays on top and attempts to win the title while the champ is stunned!
ONE!!!!!
TWO!!!!!!
KICK OUT!!!!
HHL: "Lux almost pulled it off out of nowhere!"
PIP: "Bobby let his guard down for just a second and paid for it!"
Lux brings Bobby to his feet and takes a turn whipping the champion into the corner. As Bobby slams against the turnbuckles, Lux flies in and hits a picture perfect drop kick to Bobby's jaw, stunning him again!
HHL: "That was the Toxin!"
PIP: "Is there a cure?!"
HHL: "There sure is… And under other circumstances, I think Lux would have a hard time getting Bobby onto his shoulders, but it's already been proven that these two men are as light as a feather in there."
Lux follows up the kick by lifting Bobby up onto the top turnbuckle.
PIP: "Oh, he's going for it."
Lux climbs up with him, but as he tries to pull Bobby on board, the champ fires back with a couple huge elbows to the side of Lux's head. Bobby grabs Lux and gut-wrenches him up in the air! Lux bounces off the side wall of the cell then up to the ceiling where he grabs it to stop bouncing around. Bobby pushes and floats up to meet him, Lux tries to kick at Bobby to keep him away, but Bobby grabs him by the foot and shoves it away. Both men have their feet planted on the ceiling now. Lux jumps up and pulls Bobby with a head scissor take-down that sends Bobby flying and crashing into the same area of the cell that he hit and damaged before… damaging it some more. Lux comes running over, leaps onto Bobby's shoulders again looking for a hurricanrana, but as he pulls on the big man with his legs, he goes nowhere. Bobby holds on then pulls Lux back up…. The champ tries slamming Lux down with a Bobby Bomb, but Lux holds onto the piece of cell that Bobby's hit already. Bobby pulls and pulls, but Lux holds on tight… until it breaks!
The instant the piece of cell broke off, the anti-gravity disabled and the two men dropped. Bobby, being the genius behind this contraption, seen it coming and positioned himself to still delivering a devastating Bobby Bomb from the top of the cell! Bobby folds him up!
ONE!!!
TWO!!!!!
THREE!!!!!!
WINNER AND STILL XWF TELEVISION CHAMPION - BOBBY BOURBON
HHL: "It's all over, folks! Bobby Bourbon defends his Television Championship in his first title defense! What a crazy match… Heck! What a crazy, amazing night!"
PIP: "You're telling me, Heather! We have some serious blood heating up between a lot of superstars right now leading into our favorite time of year and our biggest event!!"
HHL: "That's right, Pip! We have two title matches now officially lined up and as the weeks dwindle down… There's a lot more to come! Tune into Warfare this week and don't forget to come back to Savage for more incredibly awesome XWF actions… THAT NEVER STOPS!! The different roads have already started to get paved as we head…. BACK TO RELENTLESS!!!"
PIP: "Roads, Heather? Where we're going we aren't going to need… roads."
HHL: "Thanks for coming everybody."
Savage comes to a close with "Godzilla" still blaring in the background and the Television Champion Bobby Bourbon holding his championship above his head on his way up the ramp.
Special Thanks To:
Finn Kuhn
Charlie Nickles
Jason Cashe
GM JB
Your mom
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