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Ruby · (08-12-2022)

From Ruby’s Go-Pro…

In Limest Day, In Blurrest night, no evil would escape her sight. The Super Dear’O found herself perched atop a church’s parapet, kept company by a gargoyle who was a fair deal more immobile than the Disney ones. Still, that didn’t stop her from addressing it as if it was a living, breathing thing.

Ruby: “Flip me with a fish fork, my guy. Quiet day, huh? Must be the heatwave. Even the criminals think it’s too hot to be bothered to commit crime. I don’t wanna be a cynic, but if there’s one good thing about climate change, it just might be that. What I wouldn’t give for a cool breeze…”

She wiped the sweat off her brow. Having grown up in Canada and having spent a lot of time in Chicago, she wasn’t exactly used to these kinds of temperatures. She just wanted to go indoors, preferably some place where they had air conditioning. But those daydreams were interrupted when her police scanner went off.

Quote:”Disturbance on the back alley at 4th and 9, near the Cloud 9 superstore. Any vehicle in the area, please go check it out.”

Ruby: “That’s just a block away!”

She shut off the scanner and rappelled down the side of the church with her Rubyrope. Darting towards the scene of the crime, she turned into the back alley with her fists already up, ready to dole out some good old Banana-Lime Justice!

But she came to a screeching halt as she witnessed the scene. There were about half a dozen homeless people, some of them in bad shape, clearly dehydrated. They had taken much of their clothes off due to the heat, resulting in sunburns that covered the skin on the visible bones.

It was clear what they were doing: going through the dumpsters to find something edible or even drinkable. And technically, that was forbidden. A crime. A victimless one, but a crime nonetheless. But definitely not one to be answered with violence.

Ruby: “My guys, what are you doing? You can’t go rummaging through there!”

She felt like a phony even saying it, and one of the homeless looked up.

“What other choice do you think we have?”

He went right back to searching, but the stench coming out of the dumpsters was unbearable. In this heat, whatever leftover food waste had spoiled much faster than it usually would.

Ruby: “Surely there’s other stuff you can try? Nobody should have to go through this!”

“You think we’re doing this for fun? Not all of us can afford the luxury of playing dress-up and telling others what to do. We’re trying to survive out here.”

Ruby felt like she hadn’t felt in a long time: powerless. They seemed so desperate, so resigned to their fate that they’d given up hope of a better life.

Ruby: “Look, I’m not pretending to understand what you’re going through. You’re right, I am way privileged. But the cops are coming, and they won’t be so kind as to let you get away with a warning, I’m afraid.”

A resounding shrug was her answer.

“Whatever. Let them lock us up. Anything’s better than this, anyway.”

Ruby could scarcely believe her ears. She wanted to plead with them, help them, convince them… But as the police sirens came closer and closer, she realized it would be for nothing. And if she stayed here, she might get picked up as well.

With the heaviest of hearts and drooping shoulders, Ruby rappelled back up the side of the store. She was angry at the injustice, how these poor people were seen as the perpetrators when the system had clearly let them down. This was not okay.

She hung her head in shame as she saw the police take in the homeless as if they were burglars and thieves. She took off her mask and stuffed it in her pocket. She felt like she didn’t deserve it today. Right now, she just wanted to go back to the cabin in the woods, pour a glass of wine and tell Centurion he was pretty.

Ruby: “My flippies, the hardest lesson any hero has to learn, is accepting the fact that you can’t help everyone all the time. Even after all these years, I struggle with it immensely. Some say it’s hard not to become a cynic in this world, but I disagree. For me, that would be betraying everything I stand for.

And yet, there are people who sometimes try their best to make me doubt humanity. I regret to say Jason Cashe is one of them, and it’s not even his fault. Not entirely.

Jason Cashe, jokingly often referred to as XWF’s residential homeless guy. Well let me tell you my dude, I’ve seen the true plight of the homeless, and calling you that would be a mockery of their strife. From the way you act, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself, it’s hard to imagine you’ll ever be seen as anything but mister ‘Almost-but-not-quite’. Almost the Golden Gobbler. Almost the Plump Pigeon Tournament. Almost War Games. You’ll never be Mister Been-There-Done-That, will you? And as I’m well on my way to finally restore Order to Anarchy once again and dethrone the pretenders who think they can lay claim to the Anarchy Championship, your unwashed scalp will be a welcome addition to my resume. I am not an easy roadblock to overcome, Jason Cashe. I’m afraid that once again I will have to kick you down a few rungs. I may not be able to save everybody, and I may never be able to save you. But I can restore Order to Anarchy. And you’re in my way. But not for long.”

*end broadcast*

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