The Big Apple
The Day After the Flame Hibachi Meet-up

To some, Angelica Vaughn’s new Raion-given attire might’ve looked preposterous, but not to her. She was honored that her friend would think enough of her to include her in his… what was the word, hobby? Gimmick? Thing he liked?

And so she strolled across the New York City streets, proudly gallivanting in her pink-and-green outfit. A few people gave her funny looks, but the advantage of a city like New York was that there were all sorts here, and a lot of them. Most people probably figured she was on her way to some convention or something. Angelica hadn’t attended any of the geeky or nerdy kind of conventions, although she did have some fond memories of CATMOMCON. Unfortunately, that had also been its last edition. A tradition worthy of revival, for sure. Angelica made a mental note.

Still, Angelica felt a bit weird walking here… Not because of her clothes, but because she didn’t have an actual goal. Her attire was inspiring her to do something #COOL however, but what was there to do? Her eyes weren’t trained for this sort of stuff. But as it goes in life, sometimes fate throws you a bone. Or in this instance, a gem. And not just a gem, but a Ruby.

Her eyes spotted the Banana-Lime Blur, of all people, across the street. Ruby, wearing her trusty Go-Pro, was looking up at a skyscraper with some binoculars. Angelica, naturally, thought it rude not to go and say hi. She skipped across the street without looking and ran towards Ruby, her arms waving.

”RUUUUUBES! Fancy seeing you here!”

As soon as Angelica shouted, Ruby took her eyes off the Supergoggles and looked at the source of the disturbance like a trained Super Dear’O. Her face lit up like a banana-lime Christmas tree and she greeted Angelica in kind.

Ruby: “Well, well, if it ain’t ANG DA MANG! Whassup my gal, how’s the weather up there?”

While that was often a way to greet tall people in a mocking fashion, Angelica appreciated it a ton.

”Oh well, you know how it goes. War Games prep.”

Angelica pointed at her outfit rather proudly, and Ruby gasped.

Ruby: “By my banana-limey potatoes! Those are some sweet threads, my gal. You just gots to hook me up with your tailor! So nice I almost forgot to remind you that crossing the street without looking is a no-no! Always look both ways, my dudette! So where’d you get these?”

”AXLY… Raion gave them to me. We’re in the same War Games team, you know? Along with Jenny and Elijah. We met up for some team strategy, which…went surprisingly well, all things considered.”

Ruby: “I… heard…”

In a rare moment of vulnerability in a lifetime of unrelenting positivity, Ruby cast her eyes downward. Angelica slapped her own forehead.

”Oh noes! I’m so sorry, Rubes, I read your tweet about how you were sad you didn’t even get picked in spite of all the replacements. What a shame, eh? Anybody’d be lucky to have you!”

She threw a little Canadian exclamation in at the end to remind them that they grew up in the same country. Rapport was everything. And Ruby, to her credit, wasn’t just a three-time Anarchy Champ, she was also the champ of shrugging things off.

Ruby: “Oh well! More time for some good, honest old-fashioned vigilantism, I say! Speaking of which, you look like a bit of a superhero yourself!”

”Why thankies! That was sort of what we were going for, so that’s amazeballz!Raion gave all of us these suits, even Jenny and Elijah! Now I know what you’re thinking, those two aren’t exactly ALWAYS hero material, but if there’s anything you can count on when it comes to the both of them, it’s that they will do what they have to to win. And you don’t win these kinds of matches unless you operate as a team. I’m sure they’re out there, doing some good deeds. Or… at least NOT do any bad ones to compensate. Although I have to admit, it’s not as easy as it sounds… no offense… How do you just commit random acts of heroism?”

Ruby grinned.

Ruby: “Oh, I know what you mean, my gal. I remember when I first started out, it wasn’t easy. But hey, I tell you what. How about I show you the ropes? I may not have been selected for War Games, but if I help you out in your prep, it feels like I contributed nonetheless. What say you?”

”For realzies?? You’d do that for me? OW EM GEE, TEE WHY ESS EMM! Let’s goooo!”

Ruby: “Watch out, world! Watch out, crime! Here we come!”

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A few hours later….
In the RuMoByle

”This is boooooriiiing!”

So far, the superhero life hadn’t been “all bout ‘that ‘bout” as Ruby had described it. They’d been stuck in Ruby’s tiny car for almost four hours, while the Super Dear’O kept peering out the window through her binoculars. After Angelica’s complaint, she removed her goggles and looked at the Saintess of Andromeda.

Ruby: “‘t Chu talking ‘bout, my girl? This is 90% of the job! Staking out your target is the most important thing in a superhero’s life. You need intel and information! You need to have a tactic! You can’t just go in blind, that’d be suicide!”

”Ugh! I’m starting to feel like your Anarchy Go-Pro vids are HEAVILY edited! They always seem to burst with action! Like, running across rooftops, taking down bad guys… I thought we’d be doing that! Not sitting in a car, looking out of a window…”

In spite of Angelica’s disappointment, Ruby simply shrugged and continued her stakeout. She wasn’t going to jeopardize a mission to fulfill the thrill-seeking desired of anyone, not even the Leggy Blonde of Legend. Not even the #Vaughnemous One. So Angelica decided to kill some time.

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”Hi-hiiii, all of my Vaughnstars and Vaughnemites! Angelica Vaughn here, but you already know that. As all of you know, Raion, Elijah, Jenny and myself have decided to work together as a team at War Games, and now we’ve all gone our own way to prove our worth, showing that we deserve to wear these Saints uniforms!

To be honest, I wish I could tell you it’s been a non-stop thrill ride, but apparently, according to PROFESSIONALS, a hero’s life isn’t as exciting as it sounds. A lot of it is axly boring-as-flame, and is just a whole bunch of nothing. So that lead me to an interesting conclusion. When it comes to being a hero, it’s not what you do that counts, but it’s what’s underneath that defines you!”

Ruby: “Umm, I don’t think that’s how it goes, my gal.”

”Hush , Rubes, this is MY segment! Look out the window some more!

N-E-Ways, as I was saying, plenty of people pretend to be good. They donate money to some charity, and think that brings balance to their karma. Some people take care of someone, but only do it because they think it’ll result in a first class ticket to the pearly gates.
When I opened my Kitty Café and adoption center, I did it for one reason only: to help poor kitties who were abandoned or unwanted, and provide a good home for them. It was never meant as a money-making venture, and we barely break even as it is. But we help. And I love doing it. No ulterior motives. I have plenty of money making ventures outside of it anyway.

And I believe Raion’s very much like me in that regard. That’s why he’s such a good teamie. Elijah and Jen may not share our moral make-up, but if they’re willing to put something in for the greater good, who am I to stop them? Because in the end, that’s what being a hero is about: sacrificing part of yourself for the greater good. That’s why Manbat had to put on a mask to be a hero: as a billionaire playboy there was simply no way to sacrifice part of himself.”

Ruby: “Actually, Manbat is an adv-”

”Later, Rubes, I’m on the clock here! So AS I WAS SAYING, without sacrifice, there can be no true heroics. And I am hard pressed trying to find people who fit that description when I look at the field of opponents at War Games. I already told the Notorious Alliance EXACTLY how I feel about them, but the reality of winning War Games is that you can’t JUST focus on your very first match. Now, my goal is to see all of us Clowns in the grand final, and when we do we’ll have to face the survivors of the other matches. And that’s what’s so fascinating about War Games. A whole team doesn’t always advance, only the survivors do… so the better a team player you show yourself to be in the opening match, the higher your chances of winning the whole hecking thing! And THAT is why we will end up victorious!

When I look at Viewer Desecration Advised, I see a decent team. Latina Submission Machina has been doing absolutely phenomenal, but off, talk about a top heavy team! The dropoff is quite significant after her. I feel like she’ll have to carry her team more often than not, and that’s why they’ll be in trouble. If they win, it reeks of ‘sole survivor’, which is NOT what you want in the final!

Now, Sudden Death is interesting. Marf and Cholo had to bow out, and some people would say they got an upgrade in Chris Page and er… Richard Powers. I think they’re a great team, but can they co-exist? I recently lost to Bobby Bourbz, close contest though, so I know what he brings to the table. But while he does share some history with Money Oswald, the latter just seems to be in it as an excuse to flaunt some more wealth around. He’s EXACTLY the kind of person I meant when I said that ‘donating to charity’ doesn’t always mean you’re a good person. He’s so wealthy that even that doesn’t constitute sacrifice. And I wonder if he’ll ever be able to do that. Which makes him a liability to the team HE himself drafted! Well, half of it anyway… Now, Richard Powers may be more than a running gag when it comes to delivering, but if it’s all the same to you guys, I’m gonna try and keep his name out of my mouth for as much as I can, thank you very much. And then there’s Chris Page… Arguably the best competitor in this match, but he does very much feel ‘tacked on’. If he wanted to win War Games so badly, why didn’t he sign up in the first place? Chris Page is going through the motions here, and that simply won’t be enough to beat those that are hungrier than he is.

As for Speedrun, I’ve always liked Game Girl, she seems like a really fun nerdy… girl! She reminds me of a time when I played my Nintendo DS at night, tucked underneath the covers, trying not to make a sound as I finally caught that elusive shiny Pokémon. She’s also been out of the game for a while, though she may have to blow into that cartridge of hers a few times… otherwise, she’ll freeze. And Calypso is pretty cool. Sometimes. He did coin the term inVaughncible, so he gets bonus points from me, but I’m just not sure if he’s next level enough for a successful Speedrun of this tourney. And the North Korean guy and Hanari, well all I can say is… how’d they get drafted ahead of me? Like sers, what have they ever done? I know I shouldn’t let that get to me, because pride comes before the fall, but I can’t shake the feeling.

Still, they’ll have a hard time beating out the WarMasters. I think? Mastermind put together a great team that ALSO got upgraded. I think? Thaddy was out of the game, ready to say goodbye. And now he gets roped back in. He’s good enough for that not to matter too much, but will a guy who was ready to call it quits really go that extra mile to do what it takes to win a tournament he was initially not even interested in? I find that hard to believe. If he survives, it’ll be on pedigree, not desire… And you need that last one to win the final. Dolly and COusin Pete are two names I’ve always adored. The first one because my sister tells me to, and the latter because we share a last name, obvs. But it almost seems like Cousin Pete’s best days are already behind him… and Dolly can only do so much to get everyone on the same page. Because while Mastermind claims to be a… well, mastermind,... is he the team player he HAS to be? Is he??

I don’t know about that, my darling Vaughnstars, all I know is I will go into War Games as the TEAM player of team players, and that goes for all of Meat Clown Inc.! So until then, and may the best TEAM win!”

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Angelica shut off her recording device, and turned over to Ruby who was still looking out the window.

”So, anything?”

Ruby: “Maybe… By the way, that was a neat promo, Ang! Way to keep it civil! I’d high five you if I could, but I’d drop my binoculars!”

”Oh! Why thankies very muchies, Rubes! I…”

But she was cut off by the Super Dear’O, who snapped her fingers.

Ruby: “Well flip me, and call me a pancake!”

”PANCAKE! Wait, what?”

Ruby: “There he is! That’s the guy I’ve been tracking for weeks! Buckle up, Shungie, Saintess of Andromeda! We’re going in! It’s go-time!”

”Welp!”

Ruby: “Just follow my lead!”

Ruby snuck out the door and crawled over to the building. With feline agility that Angelica could therefore not help but admire, she climbed up a drainpipe. It took her mere seconds to reach the top of the building, but Angelica had a much harder time following her example. She wasn’t particularly an expert climber. Ruby waited for her at the top, urging her to get a move on.

Ruby: “ Come on, my gal! We’ll miss our window!”

”I’m… hmpfff… trying!”

As soon as she was in reach, and trying her best not to look down, Ruby stuck out her hand and helped her on top. The Banana-Lime Blur then proceeded to one of the nearby vents. With a tool from her utility belt, she screwed it open and crawled into it.

”Wait, we have to go in there? What if there are rats?? Ugh… I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this…”

Still, there was no going back now. She crawled into the vent as well, until she found Ruby peering through a grate. Angelica, who was a lot bigger than the tiny Canadian, found it hard to squeeze through and her claustrophobia was kicking in. Ruby put a finger on her lips, indicating for her to be silent. She then nodded at the grate and Angelica looked through, as well, casting her eyes on what looked like a criminal conspiracy meeting. A shadowy figure in a suit whose face was obscured by shadow was addressing the room.

”By taking control of those corners, we’ve upped our sales by 35%. But it’s not enough. We need to sell more, so we can finally take over the entire block!”

The man reached for something on the ground, and he picked up a large cat, much akin to Team Rocket boss Giovanni.

”OOOH, KITTY!!”

”WHAT WAS THAT?? WE HAVE INTRUDERS!”

Ruby: “ANGIE!”

”Oops!”

”GET THEM! They’re in the vents!”

”Uh-oh…”

Ruby: “Flip! We’ve been compromised! Let’s get out of here!! Quickly! Back the way we came!”

Angelica did her best to remember which exact turns they’d taken before, and much to her own surprise, was able to do so. They ended back up on the roof, and Ruby grabbed her by the waist before rappelling off the side of the building. Angelica almost didn’t have time to scream before they ended back up on the ground, safe and sound. Angelica was pushed back into the car and with screeching tires, the RuMoByle departed as fast as it could, whilst adhering to the speed limit, obvs.

Ruby: “Well, flip! 241 hours of stakeout, all for nothing! It’s a good thing you’re a better wrestler than a superhero, because stealth isn’t your forte, my gal!”

”Look, I’m sorry okay? But it’s like I said… It’s not what we do, it’s who we are inside that defines us. I may not be cut out to be a hero like you, but I am a good person. I’m a team player. And that’s why at War Games… The Meat Clowns will dominate!”

-fin-