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Jenny Myst · (07-06-2022)

Jenny sat Indian style on a plastic chair clearly made for children, her weight putting indents of the chair legs into the dilapidated carpet. A Fisher Price tea cup table set, complete with cups, plates, and teapot sat on a small holding table. Across from her, in another chair, was the XWF Television Title belt. 'Goldi' had on a blonde wig, and a smiley face had been drawn on the front with what could only presumably be a Sharpie. Jenny took the small cup into her hand, bringing it to her mouth. Pretending to drink, she put the cup down after a few seconds.

"I never told you what happened on my way to Dubai to get you, did I Goldi?"

She waited a few seconds for a reply that only she could hear.

"Well...hell....let me pour you another cup and tell you all about it! It got wild!"

She picks up the tea pot and pours the tea that only she could see into the cup. Topping herself off, she set the teapot back down in the middle of the table.

Clearing her throat, she grips Lance's ear tightly.

"I was comfy in my seat, AirPods in, and looking out the window. I really just wanted to be left alone, like usual. This older lady comes and sits next to me inside the plane. I didn't say anything, but she did it anyway, taking my silence as a yes for some reason. She asked me to help her put her bag in the overhead luggage compartment. I was horrified at the idea of having to socialize, but a gentleman sitting across quickly came through. (I am not very tall and the overhead luggage compartment is something I try to avoid at all costs but you know that, of course!)

Immediately she sits down and strikes up a conversation. Good lord, this was getting worse with every passing moment! She was very pleasant and well spoken. She told me all about her Toy Business back home, wherever the hell that was, so I decided to remove my AirPods since I wasn't able to focus anyway, and indulge her. We chatted all through the flight to Dubai!

Suddenly, the pilot announced that we were now proceeding to begin our descent into DXB. My good friend next to me 'developed' stomach pains out of the blue! Me, with my good heart, pressed the stewards button. The stewardess came to find out what the problem was. I told her my seat mate was not feeling well. And this lady suddenly began to address me as 'my daughter'.

Da fuck?! Crazy, right?! But waiitttt....there's more!

The stewardess told me that there was nothing they could do except give her some painkillers and wait until we landed. The pilot announced that we had a medical emergency on board and advised us all to stay calm. Good plan Jack! My new friend was crying and sweating like crazy, and I really thought she was going to have an emergency right there in the seat! She refused to let go of my hand. REFUSED. Everyone assumed we knew each other.

You can only begin imagine my anxiety at this point. But I stayed calm under pressure, Goldi!

We landed at DXB and the same gentleman who helped put up her luggage in the overhead compartment removed her luggage. Phew. He was a godsend! As he removed the luggage, however, he advised me to distance myself from this lady and make it clear to the cabin crew that we were NOT travelling together.

So indeed, the cabin crew came and asked me if we were related. I categorically told them we had met on the plane and I didn't know this woman 8 hours prior at takeoff. I didn't know her at all. So we began to deplane and as I said goodbye she kept begging me to carry her handbag. Begging me. I was so torn... but the gentleman looked me in the eye and emphatically shook his head. He passed me a note telling me to let the cabin crew handle her.

So I exit the aircraft and leave my 'new friend' to wait for the wheelchair and be handled by the cabin crew feeling very guilty.

I don't have many friends, and losing one is always devastating to me.

As we waited for our luggage to come, I hear this crazy commotion. My 'new friend' was running, trying to escape the cabin crew, having gotten out of the wheelchair!

She left the stewardess with her handbag and just ran towards the exit with the rest of her hand luggage! Luckily the airport police were faster than her! She CLEARLY needed to use the bathroom! Maybe they were taking her there, ya know? They surely wouldn't let her go in the parking area! All those poor rental cars! Yikes!

They got hold of her and brought her back in handcuffs.

This lady starts calling out to me.. "my daughter... my daughter!.. how could you do this to me....." that's when I caught on. She was carrying drugs inside her and she was trying to implicate me!

Luckily for me, the gentleman who had helped her with her luggage came forward and told the airport police that me and her had just met on the plane. The police took my passport and asked her to reveal my full names if it was true we were travelling together.

Luckily for me, I had not even told her my first name, or any name! I just listened to her Toy Story. I was still asked to follow the police to a little room where I was questioned extensively. Where did I meet her?... where did I board... where did she board. Etc... And my luggage was extensively searched and dusted for fingerprints.

They dusted all her luggage and my fingerprints were not found anywhere on her luggage or on her handbag!

I was let go with advice never ever to touch anyone's luggage either in flight or at the airport. So from that day, I don't care how much luggage you have, you will deal with it yourself! It's only you me and Artie from now on, Goldi! I will not even offer you a trolley to put your luggage on! Your luggage... your problem.... is my policy, and I think its a good one! If you can't reach the overhead compartment, and I am the nearest person, please call the cabin crew because all I will do is give you a blank stare and then look away! Am I a bad person?"

She smiled across the table at Goldi.

"I know you'll never judge me. I also know you'll never leave me. You'll never leave me, right?!"

Her eyes went wide and she began to breath heavier. A panic attack was coming, but she was able to breathe through it.

"You'll never leave me, I know you won't! I just KNOW it!"

She tops off Goldi with a twisted smile.

"This week there is another one who wants to play with you! He wants you all to himself! He is a big ogre of a man, who smells like catfish and cheap beer. He comes from a place called Kentucky. Kentucky! Kentucky. Where the hills have eyes... you just can't tell if they're looking at you or not!"

She laughs. Snort laughing, shaking the table and making the empty cups rattle on their plates.

"He is a disgusting human! He doesn't deserve to play with you! He is like an abortion that lived. The little cumshot that could!"

She snort laughed again. Goldi laughed too.

"I barely know you, and I already love you. You're my favorite toy! But shh....shhh....don't tell Artie. I might even like you better than Demi! And I never thought I'd ever like a toy as much as I liked Demi! And now this redneck asshole thinks he can swoop in and take you from me! He has no idea about me. Who I am. What I have been through. He has no idea what I had to do to obtain you! I had to EARN you. What has he earned? He is no better than Charlie. Charlie CHOSE me, and I took his entire world out from under him. GaRRy CHOSE you, and I am going to burn his entire fucking civilization to the ground! I refuse to be the butt of anyone's joke anymore. Nobody thinks I can keep you, Goldi. Everyone thinks you're just some rent-a-toy that I am keeping occupied. Well well......all of them are about to be surprised! He is the type of white that makes Mexicans want to build a wall. He thinks he is some sort of icon, some sort of martyr for the masses. No, hes just a pathetic human being trying desperately to identify with the one subculture he thinks has low enough standards to accept him. I am going to send him back to Betty Sue with his tail between his legs and his pride wrecked beyond repair.

He doesn't know me, he doesn't know who I am or what I am capable of, but he chose to play this game. Every game has a prize, and not all prizes and joyful."

She slaps the table again, this time the plates and cups fall off, smashing on the floor. The sound echoed throughout the massive expanse of the empty store. With a shaky hand, she took another imaginary sip of her imaginary tea and smiled over at her newest, most bestest friend.

"It's been quite the whirlwind as of late, hasn't it? Wowza. People who were champions are no longer, legends have been taken out of commission (about time!) and there is a publicist missing a valued part of the side of his face! I've seen rises, I've seen falls. All of this movement in the gears of the XWF and here I am with two new toys that I didn't have two weeks ago. With everything going on right now, how am I the winner in all of this? How does Charlie Nickles be arguably the guy on the hottest streak in the company suddenly end up with nothing and little old me comes out of it all with the world in my palm?

It's a wild and crazy world, I'll tell ya. And now I have been given this dude from Kentucky named Garry, whose assignment has been to take my newest toy away from me.

OVER MY DEAD AND ROTTING BODY.

You will have to break each and every one of my fingers off my hand to pry this title loose. I may seem little, meek, fragile even....but Gar Bear, I am a monster. I am a storm with skin.

Sometimes, GaRRy, you simply don't know who you're interacting with. You literally could be sitting next to a serial killer in a diner, a Nobel Prize winner who goes on to cure cancer on a subway train, or an elderly drug mule on a trans-national flight. Sometimes you come across someone in life that can shift the direction of your existence forever. In your case, that person is me.

You look like a 90's PSA warning rural kids about the dangers of huffing paint fumes, yet they say you pack a punch like many haven't seen here in a while. A tough customer who survived 5 other competitors to earn this title shot, despite missing a half of a tooth.

Mmmm....

How many of them did you eliminate Garry? How dominant of a performance did you put on? How many of them either eliminated themselves or were eliminated by a group effort? I know...I know....the last one is the one that counts, and your survival skills deserve an applause, but you barely stood out in the ring with a bunch of up and comers who don't even have hair on their wrestling balls yet. Xavier Lux has potential, and perhaps should have won, but other than that Gar Bear, you're performance was pedestrian at best.

Is that why you chose THIS title? Is that why you chose ME to cash in your non Universal Title shot against? Is it because you know that you are just another flash in the pan? Another name who conquered the shallow end but drowned when the pool got deeper? Is it because you know you look like a grown ass cabbage patch kid? Was it because you know you aren't good enough to even have a chance to win a belt higher than this, or is it because you made the same mistake as Centurion......you underestimated me? It's okay, I am used to it.

Whatever the case may be, Garry, you aren't getting this toy from me. Not this show, not next, not next month, next year, not ever.

You're the slap fighting champion back home. The real talk of the hoedown. The hootenanny grand champ. The dude who jerks off to Trump campaign posters while listening to banjo music. A YUGE pile of crap, if you ask me. You are everything that is sickening about this business. You're a gimmick, a 'hero', an American patriot.....a man who is proud of his Country. Too bad his Country is ashamed of him.

You probably think mental illness is fake, don't you? You probably think its made up to push some agenda while you shake your fist in the air and shout "those damn Dems!" as tobacco juice flies out of your mouth like the motor oil staining your skin. You probably think people like me are freaks and belong in the biological recycling bin with the trannys, gays, disabled and anyone whose color isn't snowstorm. You probably think you'll have an easy match, that this title is as good as yours. You chose this match because you thought you knew who you were stepping into that ring with. Oh Garold, how foolish. You never know what toys lie at the bottom of the chest until you get there, and sometimes the results aren't what you expected. That is why you will have to play my game in order to even touch this belt. You know how much I love games..."

*giggles, twiring her hair.*

The mall was well past closing hours. Security was making their rounds, making sure the mall was safe. Phhhft. Safe, what a fallacy. There was nothing safe anymore. Just as the most recent underpaid and overworked guard made his way to the entrance of the old KB Toys, he stopped dead in his tracks. Whipping out his flashlight like a Clint Eastwood revolver, he shined the lumens onto a wooden chest sitting in the middle of the walkway.

"This wasn't here before" he said to himself, approaching with caution. Not wanting to confront potential danger head on. You know, his "training". He radioed to another 'peace officer' across the mall, requesting back up.

Approaching the chest he hesitantly reached out, touching the lid. It was engraved with something. Carved, but not by a knife. It looked as though it was carved with....fingernails.

Across the top it said "TOYS". There were bits of blood in the letters. Was this really scratched with fingernails? The buckle keeping it secure was covered in a sticky substance. The other 'officer' arrived. It took two full grown men to open a toy chest, apparently. Once they were confident in their assessment of the situation, the first guard bent down and opened the latch. The chest squeaked open. Inside was exactly as the top had said. Toys.

All of them with price tags and barcodes still on them. They must have been the leftover toys from the abandoned KB. But who would have put them there?

There was a sound behind them, and both whipped around, shining their flashlights. Nothing was behind them. After a few moments they turned back and flashed their lights back into the chest. All of the toys seem to have shifted. On the top now were a bunch of dolls. Every one of them had their eyes blacked out and bars drawn over their mouths. Every single one of them had one of their ears missing. Where the ear was supposed to be was a black arrow, pointing downwards, towards the bottom of the chest. Looking at each other, puzzled, they began to remove the dolls and other assorted toys until a shiny gold object became visible. They dug further until it became clear that it was a replica wrestling title belt. Cheap, fake leather straps and gold-plated plastic on the front, it was one of those "replica" toys that looked real to a child but any adult, unless they lived somewhere like Kentucky, could tell it was obnoxiously fake. Across the gold plate in what looked like Sharpie was GOLDI. Tucked underneath it was an old KB Toys receipt, its original contents long since faded away. On it was purple ink writing that said "You Never Know What You're Going To Find In The Toy Chest."

The one guard looked at the other, then flipped the old receipt over. On the back it said ....."Or who is behind you."

The guards whipped around again, this time reaching for their "weapons".

Nothing, nobody. Emptiness.

The guards threw the belt and the receipt back into the chest, piled all the dolls on top and shut the lid. They radioed police, because that'll be productive.

"Toy Chest match. Goldi here will be buried at the bottom of my toy chest. On top will be assorted other toys. Dolls, plastic light sabers, Matchbox cars, Whiffle Balls, you name it. Mixed in with the toys will be razor blades, boxcutters, broken shards of glass, barbed wire and other sharp accessories. If you really want this belt, Double R, you're gonna have to stick your hand wayyyyy down into this chest......and you never know what you'll find. That's the fun part! You just never know.

Expect the unexpected."

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