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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Butt stuff
Author Message
Ruby Offline
The Super Dear'o



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#1
06-08-2022, 01:31 PM

From Ruby’s Go-Pro…

The Super Dear’O was worried. It kind of came with the territory, but this time it was different.

Naturally, she worried all the time, asking herself questions like ‘will every elderly person be able to safely cross the road tonight’, or ‘how many percentages of all purse snatchers can I catch this week’, or ‘will Russ cook’? Tonight’s worry was of a different kind altogether.

Centurion’s surgery wasn’t his first, of course. And it likely wouldn’t be his last either. And as any person whose significant other was a professional wrestler could attest, at some time you just had to accept they were going to get hurt. Nevertheless, moments after a groggy Centurion had woken up, Ruby had grabbed the doctor by the arm and taken him into the hallway. The Banana-Lime Blur put her hands on her hips and sighed.

Ruby: “Okay, Doc. Lay it on me. How bad is it?”

To her surprise, the doctor rather casually put his hands in his pockets.

Doctor: “To tell you the truth, ma’am, everything went about as well as can be expected. He’ll walk again, run again, compete again if he’s up for it. He’s a tough one.”

Ruby waved her hand dismissively.

Ruby: “Yes, yes, I know that, of course. But I mean, you know what I’m saying, right?”

Doctor: “Not really?”

Ruby: “Come on, Doc! You explained this surgery in great detail to me!”

Quote:

Doctor: “And like I said, ‘butt surgery’ is not the most accurate term I’d use to describe the procedure.”

Ruby: “Yeah, but still… Will it continue to be soft, yet firm?? Smooth, but like it was sculpted out of granite?? Well-rounded, and almost… plump, one might say, much like a pige-…”

Doctor: “MA’AM! I can assure you there will be nothing wrong with your husband’s-“

Ruby: “Boyfriend’s, for now.”

Doctor: “-buttocks. We went through the glutes to avoid the spine, that’s it. There might be some slight scarring-“

Ruby: “That’s cool, my guy, I’m kinda into scars.”

Doctor: “-but other than that, there’ll be nothing to worry about.”

Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. She leaned back against the hospital wall.

Ruby: “Oh good. Never let anyone tell you karma doesn’t pay off in the end! This is my reward for being a good girl all these years. See, I studied at Boulder, but medical science wasn’t my forte, I gots to admit. Linguistics and the like were more my shizzle, ya dig? Guess I was just worried it was sort of like a breast reduction surgery, where you scoop out the insides, and -”

Doctor: “-no. Nothing like that. And that’s not even how breast reduction surgeries work. Anyway, if you will excuse me, ma’am, I have other patients to tend to and more sensible inquiries to entertain.”

Ruby: “For sure, my dude! Go save some lives! You guys are the REAL heroes, after all! AVAST, ingrown toenail! BEGONE, annoying mole! FORFEIT NOW OR PERISH, mister tennis elbow!”

The doctor sighed one last time before turning the corner.

Doctor: “Ma’am, I am an orthopedic hip specialist…”

As soon as he was gone, Ruby rolled her eyes.

Ruby: “Jeez. I’m not one to usually harp on the resident medicine man on duty, but that dude needs to learn how to take a compliment. At least I got some good news. Maybe I can convince him to dress up as Obi-Wan Kenobi some time soon while he’s still groggy.”

And Ruby went back inside the room. Unfortunately, even her most persuasive arguments would not sway Centurion. For now. But Ruby was never one to give up.



Ruby: “Yo-yo-yooooo, my flippies, has it been a hot minute and a half, or what??? Seems like ages since we had a decent Anarchy throwdown, eh!? Leap of Faith came and went, and what a great show it was, but I’m itching to throw down, let me tell you what there!

The Plump Pigeon Tourney’s back from never having left, and it’s on like Donkey Kong! Xavier Lux is the next guy on my hit list, and my dude, we may have the same win total, but I have the higher win percentage! Quick maths, that makes me more successful than you so far! And a better foundation to build on.

See, I don’t like kicking people when they’re down, my dude, but when we look at you lately we can’t really talk about a meteoric rise, can we? More like a downward spiral. And that’s enough to make anyone angry. But that’s the thing about anger. It’s like a teabag. Useful, for sure. With the right dosage, it can be a great ally. But if you don’t let it rest and flow, it’s bland and flavourless. But if you let it steep and build for ages, you’ll be left with nothing but a bitter mess that’s hard to swallow and spat out by anyone with a lick of sense.

Lucky for me, I don’t do angry. I don’t need it to beat guys like you, Lux. I thrive on the power of wholesome positivity, like that fairy tale about the horse that had flowers sprout under its feet with every hoofbeat!

I’m your sole remaining hope of finishing this tourney over .500. But you’re my ticket to total victory, my dude. Venom may have been Bane’s favourite pick-your-poison, but all I see in you is an opportunity for further cleansing. Order’s coming back to Anarchy, sooner rather than later. All I gotta do is snatch that Plump Pigeon to make it so… and that road passes right through you. Prep for Ruby-Red Death. It’s coming.”


*end of broadcast*

[Image: dY7KZz4.png]
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[-] The following 3 users Like Ruby's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (06-08-2022), "Venom" Xavier Lux (06-09-2022), The Blue Tango (06-08-2022)




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