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AlexMinettVegaYin · (05-03-2022)

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Turn your head to the right, please.

Alex complied with the medical staff as she carefully turned her head and they tended to the cut above her eyebrow, mopping at the wound. Thankfully, it was a shallow cut meaning that it would heal over soon and without a scar but it still managed to nick a vein and a cascade of blood now ran down the side of Alex’s head. Even with the cleaning of the wound, there was still a wide streak of red that went down Alex’s cheek and even dripped onto the carpeted floor.

Of course, this being the XWF, it meant that EVERY excruciating detail was caught live and in living colour for a captive audience. On the surface, Alex didn’t mind that very much. She’d kicked up a little fuss about it but never enough to actually do anything. Still, there was always the concern of her loved ones and as gregarious as Alex was, she still liked to keep troubling things private. She knew it probably wasn’t the healthiest course of action but it kept her focused and away from even greater concern of people being upset. She knew Nikki and Paxar were going to hate this.

We’ve cleaned up all that we have. Obviously, keep the wound dressed and get a few days rest, Ms. Minett-Vega-Yin.

Alex snapped out of her own worries and then looked at the doctor, a smile of half sincerity emerging on her face.

Thank you, doctor! I will.

The doctor left and Alex then turned her body and her attention to the small travel box beside her where her beloved chinchilla, Chewie, was fussing at the bars.

You want a cuddle, little buddy? Okay, come to momma.

Alex opened the box and the grey furball leapt into her arms before crawling up to her face and nuzzling it. This was the normal routine for Chewie. He was very affectionate, largely as a result of Alex’s willingness to show affection but now something felt different and Alex felt moisture run back down her cheek. Wiping at it, she unthinkingly inspected her hand afterwards and found not the expected rouge of blood but instead it was clear. The adrenaline of her match had finally slowed to a stop and her body physically responded to what her emotions were catching up to. Suddenly, she felt her face tighten, her throat clench and sobs began to pour out of her.

What was she doing here?

She had a life at home with Nikki and Paxar. She’d made a lucrative living filming videos of her pets. She didn’t need to do this. The early morning training sessions, the travelling away from loved ones separated by thousands of miles, the agony and torture she’d started to put her body back through and only got worse as she aged. She knew she was still young but her body had started to catch up with her and only added to the emotional and psychological toll.

Stop it! Stop it, Alex. You’re being silly.

Alex then looked at Chewie, who was staring at her with vacant dark eyes.

*sniff* Silly momma…

Alex wiped her eyes and nose with her hand before giving the chinchilla a cuddle.

A couple of weeks later, Alex was back home in Florida lying on the couch. She’d just been for a run that had been a part of her early morning routine when she was almost always the only person awake and before the notorious heat and humidity of The Sunshine State became punishing, Time at home and exercise had given her greater clarity and greater confidence but as she lay there, still dressed in her exercise gear, Alex mused over that minor breakdown after her last match and since she was already lying on the couch, convention dictated a little therapy session.

It’s not a facade, you know? All of this cheeriness. It’s exaggerated but it’s not a lie. I am genuinely happy about my life. I am comfortable, I am loved, by rights everything is going my way and yet I’m still sad at times. I’m still scared.

Alex was silent for a moment. Her eyes went left, as if she was listening to an imaginary psychiatrist.

Oh, I’ve always been scared of things. I don’t know if you’d call it cowardice, but I’ve always feared failure or disappointing people. Part of the reason why I try to be so nice is because I fear confrontation.

Alex let out a little blast of laughter.

I know, right!? In this profession!? It doesn’t make any sense but I don’t have enemies or at least I try nor to make them. What happened at my match against Vita was..,I guess you could say an accident. I don’t held any grudge there and I’ve been through worse but that was when I was younger. I don’t know if I’m as resilient anymore.

Alex lay her hands over her stomach and drummed her fingers as she stared up at the ceiling.

I have a different life now. More of a family, more of an incentive to stay at home…

Alex started to frown a little.

And I don’t want them seeing me get hurt. We met through wrestling, they know what I do and the risks involved but I feel selfish putting them through all this.

A silence as the frown lightened a bit.

Yeah, I get it. They’re happy if I’m happy but….am I happy? Like, really happy? I mean, I have reason to be. Look, I have this opponent in my next match. His name’s Xavier Lux. The dude’s had a really tough life. A real hard go of it in a way that I can’t really relate to. I grew up as the only child in a close-knit suburban family. I didn’t have the most normal childhood. I competed as a gymnast from a young age but it was still comfortable and relatively free of drama. I wasn’t unlike most people growing up in a lot of ways. What right do I have to be unhappy?

Alex rolled to her side and lifted her head as if to look straight at her “thearpist”

There’s also Jenny Myst and….well, she just scares me. Seriously, you’re kind of wasting your time with me, relatively speaking. That woman needs help.

Alex smiled before rolling onto her back again.

I take that back, that was kind of mean. I shouldn’t speculate idly about peoples’ mental health, especially not like that. Still, she’s an….intense personality and since I’ve just come off facing one of those, maybe I’m more in my element than I think. Sure, I lost but isn’t each setback simply an opportunity to learn and improve?

Alex smiled again, hitting upon a revelation.

Of course! Sure, it sucked to lose and frustrating as heck but it’s just one part of a bigger story and it’s how I deal with that that’s important! I’m not saying that this fixes all my problems, no. I still have many battles to face, but you don’t win the fight hiding in a foxhole. I need to prove I can do this. Prove it to the fans, prove it to my loved ones, prove it to myself!

Alex sat up with such force that she almost toppled sideways before leaping to her feet.

Who knows what the future brings!? i sure don’t but that doesn’t matter! What matters is how I face it and I will face it doing what I love and that includes wrestling! Get ready, world! Alex Minett-Vega-Yin is coming back with a vengeance baby and this time, it’s…..well, not exactly personal as these two have done nothing to directly affect me but it’s……important! Really, super important! Thank you, doc-

Alex suddenly remembered that she’s only been giving therapy to herself. She knew that her own battles with mental health were far from over, if they ever would be. Still, that was part of the point. The battle would always continue and fighting was the only option; and so in wrestling, as in life, she was going to fight hard and determined and hoping to smile as much as she naturally could.

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