(camera then comes on inside the building)

(Benjamin Crane is standing in front of a blank white wall)

Crane: Welcome XWF! Today, I have brought you to an asylum. And before I forget, let me introduce my "guide" for this little tour, Charlie the Orderly. Come on in and say hi to the people Charlie!

(camera widens out and a large african american man steps into frame)

(he then nods at the camera)

Crane: So yeah this is Charile. When I talked to the administration here, they said if I wanted to take a tour, this guy had be by my side the entire time. Now, the question becomes WHY am I in an asylum? Well, this week I've been put in a match vs. Sid Federer.

Charlie: Feder.

Crane: What?

Charlie: Fe-der. Not Federer.

Crane: How do you know?

Charlie: I watch the show.

Crane: Yeah? What do you think about me?

Charlie: You're all right.

Crane: I'll take it. What about FE-DOR?

Charlie: Man, that dude is crazy.

Crane: AH! Exactly! See, this man as an XWF fan knows that Sid Fedora is crazy. Or at least he wants you to think he is. THAT is the reason I've brought you here.

Sid, can I call ya Sid? You suffer from something i like to call "overcompensating." You run around all nutty, yelling and cursing, saying weird stuff and the fans eat it up. Why hell, if I were a 14 year boy again, you'd probably be my favorite wrestler! But i'm not. Being the old guy I see what you're doing. For example, when a guy has a small penis, he might buy an extravagant car or get really buff to make up for it in order to attract females. A girl might act like she's a huge slut, even though she's a virgin. Or maybe, just maybe, a guy acts like you do, Sid, because in reality, he's just a normal, boring guy.

How would i know this? Because as someone who is legitimately crazy, I can tell you that actual crazy people try to hide it. So the fact that you go SO far out of your way to act like a jackass, shows me that you are simply overcompensating.

Come on, let's go take a look.

(Crane and Charlie walk a little bit to the main room of the asylum where we see some patients playing checkers, some coloring, a few looking out a window, most watching television and one or two just walking around)

Crane: You see this Sid? They're not jumping around yelling their lungs out. They're too busy trying to deal with the crazy in their heads.

Feder, you do your little show to try and get people to buy it. And to your credit, most of them have! You've done what i could never do by convincing the fans that you're really insane. Charlie here thinks you're nuts. But i don't. I see through you. Don't get me wrong, it's entertaining as hell. You're one of the top guys from what i can tell, and I consider it an honor that I've caught your attention. But crazy? (laughs) You don't know real crazy. Sid, i'm just not afraid of you. I'm not intimidated by you. Your parlor tricks don't work on me. You're a talented performer, no doubt, but I know it's all an act.

However, this time, you have finally crossed the line. You really pissed somebody off up at the top because not only is it you and me in a ladder match but they gave me a parter to beat the hell out of you! This is what you get when you go around throwing out crazy challenges. Actually proclaiming that you are God himself! Well, I'm an athiest. So, even if you were God? I wouldn't care. The fact is, you ran your mouth and now you have two guys coming to destroy you in a ladder match.

John Madison, it seems you REALLY drew the Golden Ticket. Not only do you get to step in the ring with one of the top guys in the company like i do, but you get to tag with The Monolith. And trust me, when you tag with The Monolith, you will learn something.

(Crane looks over his shoulder at the inmates)

Crane: You know, i can't help but wonder if after the match, if they won't throw me and Sid in here and then throw away the key..... Oh! (turns to Charlie) has Lindsey Lohan ever been in here?

Charlie: Not yet.

Crane: HA!