Inside, we find a homely and seemingly unbathed Micheal Graves sitting behind an old desk that is covered in etchings of various crude sayings and off-the-wall opinions. Whoever this old desk used to belong to really carved it up good.


"No, I don't need to come to terms with my problems, you need to come to terms with your problems!"


Micheal wasn't sitting in a dark room shouting to himself, though you would be forgiven for thinking so. No, Micheal appeared to be mid-video-call with his therapist, who responds with a frustrated sigh.


"How about your other personalities? Have they given you any problems lately?"


Micheal seems disappointed before answering the question. "No, still not a peep out of any of them. Heh, it's been a while now. Maybe I'm cured?"


"You are definitely moving in the right direction. How are things at work?"


Micheal disgustedly looks around his dank, dirty, urine-smelling office that resides on a floor that nobody EVER visits.


"I can't complain..."


"Well, that's good to hear. Okay, Micheal, I'm going to call in a refill of your prescription, but I will need you to make more time for our next session, okay?"


Micheal rolls his eyes. "Sure doc, whatever you say."


"I'm serious, Micheal. Medication alone isn't the road to recovery."


"Yeah, yeah, I know! I need to tell you all about how daddy hurt me. Maybe later."


"You've never mentioned your father before. Is there any truth to that?"


*KNOCK-KNOCK*


Graves jumps in his seat, not having expected the sudden intrusion from, well, anyone. This seems to annoy Micheal as his eyes narrow on the door.


"Gotta go, doc. Call that script in at the Wallgreens on South Point Boulevard, K?"


Micheal slams the phone down, which likely just shattered the screen because it wasn't a landline.


"Come in!"


Vita Valenteen immediately charges through the door!


"What in the heck is this!?"


Vita slams a Madness flyer onto Micheal's carved-up desk. Micheal looks at the flyer cluelessly before looking back up at Vita.


"A flyer for the next Madness?"


Vita rolls HER eyes. "Obvs!"


"Well if you already knew what it was, why are you bothering me!? Also, when did you start saying obvs?"


Vita ignores his question and remained focused on HER point.


"IGLOO OF INSANITY! WHAT IS IT!?"


Micheal looks especially clueless here.


"Well, I don't know!"


This response seems to only anger Vita more.


"What do you mean, you don't know? This is your division! YOU book it! How can you NOT even know what an Igloo of Insanity is!?"


"Uh... No, I don't..."


"What do you mean, you don't?"


"I don't book anything. These things are thrown together, usually with some wild match stipulation assigned to it and no details as to what those stips should entail. Then I have to rush to figure it out before we go live!"


Vita's eyes narrow as she studies Graves.


"The card has been booked for weeks, guy!"


"I KNOW! Listen! Weapons! There are going to be tons of weapons! That much I know for sure! I kinda have to, apparently, fans have been flooding the offices with complaints about the severe lack of weapons used in our Lord of Violence matches, so yeah, my job to fix it!"


"Oh! So it's basically a house of horrors, but in an igloo and with a stupid name. Got it!"


Graves nods with a slight smile. He feels accomplished now that he has properly addressed an employee's concern for the first time.


"That's lame! What's the point of the igloo if we're just going to beat each other with weapons!? We could do that ANYWHERE!"


Vita stares at Graves demanding that he up the ante!


"Fine! You're right! We need to make this the grandest LORD OF VIOLENCE match yet!"


Graves jumps up from his seat and picks up his totally shattered phone!


"Hi, Sherry, this is Gravy! Tell Lane that I'm going to need to dip into the reserve budget for Madness! Probably about 50K! YES, YES, every dollar is crucial if we expect to get this show off the ground! Awesome! Thanks, Betty!"


Graves slams the phone on the desk again. Small shards of glass explode from it as he does!


"There! All set! Jackie said I was good as gold to spend whatever I need to spend!"


Graves holds onto his leather jacket as he paces proudly behind his desk.


"Weapons are lame!? HA! That's only because you've only been using LAME WEAPONS! The Igloo of Insanity will contain NOT ONLY weapons but the deadliest of weapons that I can sneak past the Alaskan athletic commission!


Graves leans across the desk and cups his mouth.


"Don't worry about them, I'm good at hiding stuff up my ass!"


Vita looks mortified by that totally TMI tidbit!


"Razer wire!? CHECK! Thumbtacks!? Fuck that! Liquid Nitrogen pits! I wanna see someone explode into pieces like the T-2000!"


Vita raised her hand to ask a question. "I don't think that you can-"


Shut up Vita, he wasn't finished! "Fire!? Oh yeah, we've gotta have fire to go with that ice! How about we install some motion-activated flamethrowers in this igloo, huh!? I bet that would make this match pretty fire, huh!?"


"Actually, if we could avoid fir-"


Shut up Vita, it was rhetorical!


"Oh! And if you're going to have fire and ice, you just gotta have electricity! I'm going to make sure that when they build this giant fucking igloo for you dummies, they install exposed wires all throughout, that way as this shit melts from the flame throwers, everyone gets a nice shock! HA! How's that for lame!?"


"I just became enemy number one in this match, didn't I?"


Graves leans across the desk on both palms and looks Vita right in the eye.


"I'd say that's about right... Any more questions or criticism, missy?"


Vita doesn't audibly answer, she just shakes her head as she backs out of the office in fear of what this might mean for her come bell time, but Micheal seems to have one final query.


"Hey Vita, can you smell the dolphin smoke coming from your boots?"


Micheal smiles a toothy smile and Vita is left clueless as to what that even may have meant as she makes her escape from Subbasement Level 3.


"...crap..."