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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Thus Spake GH the Great, Chapter 694
Author Message
The Generic Heel Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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#1
03-08-2022, 12:52 PM

“...it was an amazing experience to see him live. My brother Bruce and I used to record ourselves calling his entrances while watching old matches of his on our VCR...”

“...I was blown away by his strength, so I made sure to blow HIM away in the back later on…OH! And I’m a vampire now, so you know the sucking was REALLY good…”

“...this entire tournament has found legitimacy because of him. #tysmGH #ItMattersBecauseOfHim #GH1ClassAXLY #GHWinsLOL…”

“...he totes took my V card and after seeing his craxily totes amaze win over Barney, I used my ubes short sister’s time-jumping-phone-thingie to go back, like, five minutes before he took it so he could take it TWICE. Was totes amaze-as-flame…”

“...he makes me want to go to his school so that I can learn to stop flipping, my guys!...”

“...I haven’t married Vinnie because I’m still holding out for GH, bb…”

…those feet are anything but Generic…

“...let me make one thing PERFECTLY CLEAR! Everything I am is because of this man…”

“...and let me say again: Generic Heel IS my Final Fantasy!!!

“...woah, dude!”




A large man sat in a weathered chair, his bulk pressed down to make it groan. Bent slightly at the waist, a head of scraggly salt-and-pepper hair hung down as grey-blue eyes stared at a cracked cellphone held in dirty fingers. The man’s face was as weathered as the chair, with worry lines etched deep into his skin, lines that started at the corner of his eyes and stretched their way to be lost in a mass of unkempt beard.

“...time…is on…”

His voice was harsh, as if his throat was scratchy from not having a sip of water in days.

“...my side…”

His eyes continued to stare blankly at the phone in his hands. Cracked in many places, spiderwebbed by tiny lines and with several large that ran top to bottom, the phone featured a picture on the front: The large man, with less lines and more brown in his hair. A raven-haired beauty with two shocks of red in her bangs and dark makeup. A short young woman with whited-out colors and bright red lipstick. All with smiles.

“...yes it is…”

“BING!”

An alert screams out from the phone, though the man doesn’t seem phased. The alert minimized to show an email, an email which joined several dozen unread.

“...time…”

The man’s voice faded away as the phone fell to the floor. With a deep groan, he pushed himself to his feet and stood, face looking around the room. It was desolate, a small thing with sparse furnishings: A mattress on the floor, a guitar seated atop it. Empty liquor bottles haphazardly strewn across the floor. A lone table with a framed picture of the raven-haired beauty. A red-and-blue lucha mask.

“...sigh…”

A sigh, deep with resignation. He stumbled forward to the table. One hand touched the picture frame with a gentleness surprising for his size. The other grasped the mask.





…is…is dis thing on? I-

…………..

………………..tha red light is on but I don’t see-

……………………………………….

….maybe now? Fuck it...if dis doesn't record, I'll jus' send in a polaroid. Seems ta work for Max.

Ya know what really lances my boils? When someone can't figure out who tha fuck they are. Me? I'm tha Generic Heel. Forty-eight time world's champion. Undefeated for nearly thirty years. Supplied tha wrestling industry with tha next two generations o' wrestlers because o' my ability to pass down both my skills and my seed. Hell, I even beat up one the latter last week! Poor Barney had ta meet his daddy's big leg in the worst way. And along tha way to dat ring last week, I probably impregnated another fifteen smokin' hawt chicks with my pelvic thrusts. I'm sure some of tha ugly ones wanted my seed, too, but ya know dat GH tha Great doesn't fuck any o' dem ugly chicks. Nope! I leave 'em for those THUG boys. They'll fuck anything! But nothing under a ten for tha Great GH, let me tell you.

But dis Calvary schmuck? Dis guy has no idea who he is! Tall pretty boy, yeah? Fighting tha good fight! Going around tha whole damn galaxy and being the morale authority for all tha kiddos, yeah? Doing dumbass shit like giving tha dumb vamp girl dat stupid plant while not seein' us laugh about how fuckin' dumb it all is, yeah? Thinks he's some dumb hero. Well if he was, then he wouldn't be besmirchin' an upstanding citizen like Robbie Bourbon, now would he? NOPE! No, sir-e-Bobby! Swearin' and cussin' up a storm about him, callin' him a fool and such. Is dat a good guy? Is dat a hero? NOPE! Reminds me of my old roommate, Generic Face. Dat douche would just show up to our dorm with his girlfriend Generic Valet and expect me to turn around. Jerk! Just like dis Calvary dumbass. Flyin' around and actin' all high an' mighty while doing tha exact opposite.

Balderdash, I say.

HOGWASH, my friends.

Horseshit, as my Grandpappy would say. He was da Original Heel, ya see. Lots of wisdom from dat man. Not like dis Calvary. Jesus Horatio Christ, what a piece of crap. Dis guy has spent so much time trying to figure himself out dat he's worked himself into a shoot! A shoot full of losses! Me? Not a single one. Ever! And don't even get me started on dat dumb inhibitor chip. Or collar. Or whatever. There isn't a collar in da world dat could inhibit me! I'm too strong, determined, and sexy. Just look at us last week! Dummy loses to a freakin' girl and I triumphed over my own son. No comparison!

Oh, and I didn't need to give no stupid bleeding plant to the vamp chick for her ta show me how good she is with those fangs. Another way I'm better than that dumb Calvary. In fact, dat reminds me of this one time-
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[-] The following 3 users Like The Generic Heel's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (03-08-2022), ALIAS (03-08-2022), Unknown Soldier (03-12-2022)
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Vita Frickin Valenteen (03-08-2022)




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