David Brown was none too happy about this. He had been doing this for a long, long time, and with his experience came both the reluctance at involving ‘these kinds of people’, and knowing better than to protest when the mayor gave you a direct order.

He crossed his arms and shot an annoyed glance at the mechanics who were taking way too long for his liking. It was cold and windy up on this rooftop. A typical Tuesday afternoon in Chicago.

”This gonna take much longer? I’ve got actual work to do!” he snapped at the nearest guy he could see. The mechanic, who couldn’t be older than twenty, looked up at the Superintendent of the Chicago Police Department with a look of fear in his eyes. Too nervous to respond, he quickly bolted one of the final screws into the rooftop and made himself scarce.

”Hmpf. Waste of taxpayer money if you ask me,” Superintendent Brown complained, crossing his arms as he looked at the, in his eyes, monstrosity the mayor just had installed on the rooftop of the Chicago Police Department.

Still, even a police officer with his years of experience was prone to let his curiosity get the better of him. Finally alone on the rooftop, he pulled the lever, before a big, banana-lime ‘R’ colored the sky. But nothing else happened. He leaned against the newly installed vigilante skylight and rolled his eyes.

”As expected. Just another PR stunt, nothing more. Probably paid for by one of the mayor’s fund-raising buddies sitting in their ivory motherfu-...


Ruby: “LOOKS LIKE I ARRIVED JUST IN TIME!”

Ruby landed on the rooftop as if she had been sprinting for over a full minute after watching the signal go up, and having been shot out of a cannon right onto the rooftop of the CPD. (Which was what actually happened). Recovering her breath by putting her hands on her knees and bending over slightly, she eventually pointed one gloved finger at Brown.

Ruby: “Ya know… As the commish you should set the right example and not use the F word, my guy!”

David raised a single eyebrow that arched above the rim of his glasses.

”And I should have you thrown in jail for vigilantism, which is still, as far as I know, illegal.”

Ruby: “Oh come on, my dude! Lighten up! What’s next, obligatory self-flagellation for the dastardly villains who help a granny cross the street? Just trying to help out here. Besides, Lori is a big fan.”

”The *mayor* does indeed favor you. And your husband’s checkbook.”

Ruby: “Oh, he’s not my h-. Well, not y-... Never mind, all I’m saying is that you can count on me, my guy! Just like the brand of Anarchy!”

”I’ve been in law enforcement for forty years. I’ve been in the FBI AND the CTU. Never did I have to dress up like a fool to get the job done. And I most certainly never entertained… ‘Anarchy’.”

Ruby: “And that’s why you’re one of the good’uns, dude! Isn’t it exciting? Fighting crimes, fighting baddies, curb-stomping the scum of society,...”

Brown rolled his eyes. He had been doing this since before this… girl… had been born. Nevertheless, her heart seemed pure, and her intentions were good.

Ruby: “It’s just a shame it takes two to tango, ya know? Take this dude Tommy I’m fighting on Anarchy for example… Yeah, it’s been many times that we’ve tangled, and it’s always been a ton of fun. But until he learns his lessons and decided to turn over a new leaf, ya girl’s gonna have to hit him in the flipside, and push him back towards the light!”

”Whatever. I just hope your happy this electricity-guzzling monstrosity will be calling your signal whenever the mayor feels the need arises.”

Ruby: “Electricity-guzzling? My man, do you honestly believe I hadn’t thought of that? I’m all about the environment, this skylight is one hundred percent solar powered! Of course the only drawback is that it can be used during the day, which… kind of defeats the purpose. Flip! I knew there was a design flaw in that thing.”

Ruby shook her head, but in the end, it was just another challenge to add to the list.

Ruby: “Anyway, I have to go now, my dude! Keep your eyes peeled, because if you blink you’ll miss the banana-lime blur beating everyone in sight for the Plump Pigeon tourney! How very sweet of dear old Lackersnackers to invite me personally into her very own tournament. I hope she doesn’t start sending me friendship bracelets in the mail though, that would be weird, even for her. But I’m gonna do my very best to knock off TOmmy. Lord knows he’s a tough cookie, but he’s gonna have to crumble; I want that Plump Pigeon trophy! It’s gonna look so flippin’ sweet next to my Golden Gobbler and my mans’ World Championship.”

Ruby approached the edge of the rooftop.

”We do not allow basejumping here.”

Ruby: “Aw come on, my man! You expect me to take the elevator? I can’t stand those things.”

But with a stern look, Superintendent Brown pointed towards the door that led inside the CPD. Ruby cast her eyes downwards and sheepishly walked towards the door.

Ruby: “Fine! But only ‘cause you asked nicely, and I respect your authority! GO 5-0, GO PO-PO!”

She reached up top for a high five, but the commish left her hanging.

Ruby: “Disappointeeeed!”