OOC: sorry Angelica I didn’t get to do much writing this week. I’ll try finishing this up tomorrow in a Character Development post.

RL Edgar is outside, embracing his wife among the now safe and sound hostages. Corey smiles watching Edgar from a short distance, seeing the Christmas twinkle in his partner’s eye. So RL, don’t you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie now? Edgar smiles and nods, pulling his wife closer, You’re damn right, Corey. Die Hard actually is a Christmas movie. Just like the Bastards actually are a bad tag team... A miraculous snow floats down over Los Angeles, trusting the aesthetic is good enough for me.

I dreamt of her again.

A restless RL Edgar lies all misshapen on a couch downstairs. His is naked leg slung up over the narrow back of the sofa, and his t-shirt riding up his belly. He digs his weary eyes into his cellphone screen waiting for a response to his text. Besides the phone, only the light of a quiet television flipping through images on the Weather Channel pulses light onto the walls of the room.

We can tell from the room's homely condition and modest décor that this is not Edgar's French Riviera anymore. Not by a long shot. That dream is over.

...
You can't control that

What CAN I control?

Absolutely nothing!

Even through the text message, Edgar could hear the voice of his A.A. sponsor Jason. A chuckling, matter-of-fact, sort of dickish tone that brought Edgar's teeth to a grind.

But even still, Edgar knew Jason was right, and he hated it...

He looks away from the phone to a family portrait on the wall. It's his estranged wife Marie and their five children, only illuminated for a moment in the glow of the television before dark takes hold again.

Being wrong was something Edgar was coming to terms with...

Isn't great? We don't have to fight this thing anymore.

...yeah.

He texts back,

Have you meditated this morning?

I tried earlier.

It's very early now, about 5 a.m., and Edgar was being honest, he was up even earlier trying to practice the meditation technique his sponsor taught him. It seems so simple in theory, yet Edgar has had a near impossible time practicing. After setting a timer, he sits still and upright, locking his fingers together, touching his thumbs and resting his hands in his lap. He's to sit there and close his eyes, clearing his mind of any thoughts and only focusing on his breathing.

A deep breath through the nose until his belly pulls into his spine- count 1
A long exhale back through the nose until his belly swells out- count 2

Rinse and repeat. Keep counting the breaths and discarding all of the thoughts that enter his mind. As a thought enters, especially one that fuels resentment or fear, like his wife's affair, he's to acknowledge it and let it go. Again, very simple in theory.

I got about two minuets in...

He followed up,

Not too bad. Remember this is about practice, not perfection. We can find serenity in letting go, and meditation is a great practice.

Edgar's two minuets of "meditation" that morning were anything but serene.

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1x Hart Champion
1x Federweight Champion
April 2021 RP Of The Month Still Waters Run Deep