I had sped home shortly after the Fight event, I had a few things to finish up in New York. Some of the Pack stayed behind in Vegas, but Diesel, Cela and I headed home. For a few days. Then, I would head back out to Vegas while Cela held down the fort here. God bless that woman…

I was in my office finalizing my hotel for the Invitational, deep in thought when I happened to look at an old, ratty photo in a brand new frame above my first wrestling clipping. It was an old photo. Faded. Folded and unfolded for years. Torn at the corners from being shoved in my wallet. That picture was my solace, for so long that I kept it with me everywhere I went. Whether it was on a hit, working a job, running from… whomever, or laying in the hospital. Any time I needed a bright moment, I would pull it out and remember that feeling. Remember the person I swore I would be. Now, it was pressed firmly in place and covered in a thick pane of glass. Safe and on display.

It was Miss Louisa Massacre from the Louisiana Wrestling Circuit!

16 year old me was so full of joy, so full of life, so full of wonder. And when I met her, my world began to soar. I lit up! I found my purpose! Despite the cloud of darkness that loomed all around me, the scars both old and newly forming, despite everything that tried to bring me down; She lifted me up. She was everything I wanted to be, she was everything in the world to me.

Now, as I look at the photo, something begins to register in my mind…

“Son of a bitch…” I get up from my desk and walk to the wall, picking the frame up in my hands. The photo was old, older than I cared to admit; so the faces were faded but I recognized Louisa.. I turned the photo slightly, allowing more of the light to expose the faces. Myself at 16, and the wrestler I wanted to grow up to be. Well, not just as the magnificent wrestler from my childhood but a face I knew so very well. One that I’d known most of my life actually…

Mama.

How could she not have told me? Was this on purpose? Was this real?! HOW?! I fell back into my chair, picture frame still in hand, and I sat there in silence. My joint was smoldering in the ashtray on my desk. My computer’s screensaver, my first cover shot with FIGHT! NYC on People Magazine, had already kicked on. I was shocked. I was stunned; how had I not noticed? Were my memories of that brief moment in time so evanesced that they’d become even more blurred than the photo I held so dear to my heart?

In many ways I was bruised and healing; from Blood Money II, from my own personal dramas and then from the “fun” Valentine’s event Fight had just put on. This was just another chunk of coal thrown into the fire. Another thing for me to roll around in my head and gnaw on like a dog with a bone. Why hadn’t she said something? Did she know, back then, who I was? If she did, why didn’t she… Just why? Had I been the disappointment my “mother” always said I was? The failure my “father” screamed that I was? Did Mama see me as those, too?

Diesel had popped his head into my office, evidently, I had been sitting there most of the day and had missed three meetings and hosting the charity cook-off. “Cill?” I looked up when I heard his voice. “You ok, boss?” He opened the door a little more, stepping inside. “Uhh you remember that cook-off thing was today… Right? And we were going to vote on the toy drive but… You kinda ghosted us…” I rolled my eyes.

“Look D, today isn’t the day for your… You-ness.” I motioned with my hand to all of him and sighed, setting the picture frame on my desk. “I head out for Vegas tomorrow, you know I’m booked in that Invitational, against Lissie Hope, so I’m a bit busy at the moment.” I snarked, looking up at him with all the seriousness I possessed. He inched backwards, slightly, and shook his head at me. I raised a hand before he could speak. “No, sir. I know I’m leaning on Cela a hell of a lot right now, but shit is crazy. Since the charity cruise last year, my career has sped up, my personal life has gone insane and the club and work are busy busy busy. I chose her for my VP for a reason D, I know she’s capable of handling things, on top of those babies. I also know she’ll call for help IF she needs it. After the next two shows, my shit should settle down, alright?” He nodded a bit, hearing footfalls, he turned slightly as I looked up, seeing Cela pop through the door.

“Diesel, leave her alone.” She smiled, the woman was glowing with this pregnancy and I smiled in return. I was very happy for them, over the moon for them, because they already had each other, but also two adorable babies and now more on the way! They were blessed. Lucky and blessed. There was no jealousy in my heart, they deserved the life they had together. I didn’t know two people in this world who didn’t fight for one another like those two. They gravitated towards one another and in a flash, those two became one soul. “Boss, I brought you a plate, the boys wanted to make sure you ate, you know how they are.” She chuckled, walking through my office with grace and placing a paper plate on it, with a burger, brat with kraut, potato salad and Roady’s homemade pickles.

“Thanks Cel…” I smiled up to her, catching her hand gently, I held her there. I wanted to say so much to her, I wanted to tell her how much I was grateful for her help and how much I loved her as my family, and my VP, but.. I couldn’t make the words come out. Instead, all I could muster was; “You’re the badass, Cels.” With a soft chuckle, she looked down at me. She patted my hand with her own, she knew what I meant. She always knew.

Once they finally left my office, I sat there a while longer, still thinking. I futzed with the food on the plate, not really that hungry; despite how good it smelled. I growled a bit, looking from the photo to my cell phone, debating on making the call. But, while I was contemplating, it howled. Decision made, apparently. Henry’s number flashed across my phone screen and I was loath to answer it, but after the third howl, I did.

“Yeah?” I could hear the grumble in his voice as he replied, harassing me about my upcoming show. “Lissie Hope, I think? Sounds like a good kid, I guess. Agile. Determined.” I looked up as Reaper waddled into my office with a chirrup to greet me. A soft “pspspsps” called him to my desk, where he sprawled out across it, almost touching both ends with his paws. Boy was massive! “I know Henry,....” I rolled my eyes, I started to pet Reaper softly. “I’m not brushing it off, … jesus… No sir, I am not!” I growled softly, under my breath. “I know how to research my opponent Henry; you taught me that. Look,... Can you put mama on? Please?”

Breathe…

“Kachanie?” Her voice was chipper, she must have been enjoying her time with Henry in Florida. I really didn’t want to crush their trip but.. I had to know.

“Mama… How.. How’s Florida?”

She laughed a bit, “Sun bright, Kachanie, sand warm. Mama like.” Honestly, I wasn’t surprised; she was from one of the coldest area’s I’d been to. “Kachanie alright? Mama come home?” Her concern grew, I almost never called her when she was away.

I stammered for a moment. “No… Mama,... No, I’m fine. I was.. I was just curious when you guys were coming home?” The braincell was not working! “I mean.. I have a couple shows coming up, and wanted you guys to fly out to Vegas with me…” Oh that sounded stupid! “You know.. I have the Valentine’s show for Fight and.. The Denzel invitational… I know you haven’t seen Vegas since Sinatra was huge sooo….” I trailed off, rubbing the back of my head a bit. What was I doing? Was I seriously trying to manipulate Mama into cutting their trip short?!

Yup.

“Oh Kachanie! Mama love! Of course Papa and Mama come!” She was excited, and I felt like a fucking heel. “How old you think Mama?” She laughed, I could hear Henry in the background, with Priscilla. They must have been at the beach. Henry was laughing. Priscilla was laughing. “Kachanie?”

I was awful for tricking her. “I’m here Mama… I hear you guys having fun, I don’t want to.. To interrupt.” I could hear her “tsk” over the gulls crying and Henry’s chortles. “Look Mama.. I actually wanted to ask you something.. Can we talk when you get home?” I cleared my throat a bit, I felt childish. Stupid.

“Kachanie, you no interrupt. You never interrupt. What Kachanie need?” I could hear shuffling over the phone, she was walking away from Henry and Priscilla, I assumed to be more personal, more private. “Kachanie worry about match?”

I sighed, laying my head face down on my desk, Reaper placing his front paws on the back of my head, curiously. “No Mama… I’m not worried about it. Lissie isn’t a hard opponent. She’s a fighter yeah, but I’ve faced meaner. I’ve handled worse.” I groaned a little. “Mama.. I… I saw something I wanted to talk to you about…” My voice was a little muffled, as I was still very much face down on my desk, but she could hear me well enough to know I was serious.

“Of course, Kachanie.. Ask Mama.. What is?” She was worried. I could hear it in her voice. Now, I feel even worse. I was worrying her over something so foolish, something so damned insignificant…

“Mama, it’s ok. It’s nothing.. Nothing serious. It’s.. Do you remember the photo behind my desk?... When I was 16?” My heart thudded hard in my ears.

I could hear her breath catch in her chest.

SHE KNEW!

“Of course Kachanie… You such beautiful girl!” she beamed, trying to feel out what I was asking. “What about photo?”

I took a deep inhale, leaning back in my chair, grabbing my case and rolling a blunt. I lit it with a heavy, heavy sigh.

“Louisa Massacre…”

Breathe…

A day or so later, I heard the lock flip to my front door, and my basic instincts kicked in. I grabbed my gun and slowly moved through my bedroom into the foyer, slowly approaching where I heard the intruder. “Kachanie?” Her voice cut like a blade through the silence. It caught me off guard.

I stepped into view, my new ring gear in full view of Mama. “What are you doing here?” I blinked, still a combination of shock and sheepishness. I knew why she was here. Hell, I expected her to show up. I had all but summoned her.

“Kachanie,... Mama sorry… She lie.” She dropped her bag in front of the door and made three strides closer to me, grabbing me in the most glorious bear hug I’d been enveloped in in years. I melted. I wrapped my arms around her, trying so hard to not cry. “Kachanie… That so long ago…”

I stopped her, lifting my head off her shoulder and looked into her eyes; the ones we shared. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I sounded so much like a child. Like the little girl, so long ago, that wanted so badly to be loved by the woman who called herself “mom”. But here I stand, in front of the real Mama in my life, the real woman who birthed me and Diesel, and so many questions terrorize my mind.

“Oh Kachanie… Mama young, Mama stupid. Massacre pay Mama bills. When Mama come states, Mama have nothing.” She took my face in her hands, squeezing it softly, before she took me by the hand and led me to my living room. Once she sat down, and I had finally sat down, she went on; “Mama fighter. Always fighter. Mama take job as wrestler.” She took a small gold case from her brassiere and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it. She sighed. “When you show up… Mama see ghost. Mama see mirror.” She cupped my cheek in her hand, softly, her eyes softened and saddened. “Mama want so badly tell Kachanie… but… Mama could not.”

As I listened to her, my eyes focused on her face. Every wrinkle. Every glimmer in her eyes. I was memorizing everything about her. How had I not done this before? How had I not noticed that every single line of her face was visible on my own? “Mama.. why did you never say anything?” My voice was small. I felt small. This woman beside me, she was one of the few who could make me feel like a child; and that wasn’t always a bad thing. I watched as her chest rose and fell. As her brow furrowed while she thought of an answer.

“Kachanie…” She began, grabbing my hand in hers as she took a puff off her cigarette. “Mama never tell Kachanie because… Mama… Mama ashamed. Mama should have told Kachanie then… But… Mama never do.” Her chest rose and fell drastically as she sighed, exhaling a cloud of smoke from her delicate mouth. I looked down to the ground, as Reaper pawed at my boot. Mama still held my hand but I bent down to lift up the massive cat into my lap.

“Mama, why were you ashamed? I would have understood… I think.” Would I have? At 16, I was in the middle of a massive war at home. I may not have been as level-headed as I was now. Honestly, I might have resented her terribly; if not permanently. “Maybe I wouldn't have, maybe you’re right… I don’t know… I’m not sure I…” I trailed off, petting the purring giant furball in my lap. “Nevermind, Mama.”

Mama stiffened on the couch, scowling at me. “Kachanie!” She scolded as I flinched a bit. “Druscilla Anne!” I blinked, wide-eyed as she, for the first time in well over two years, called me by my real name! Fuck… I was in trouble… “You stop that thinking!” Her hand, strong and powerful, pulled my face upwards to hers. She glared dead into my eyes. “Kachanie, when you step in ring, YOU RULE RING!” I knew she was right, deep down, I did, but part of me still doubted myself.

“When Mama see Kachanie fight first time, Mama cry. Mama proud!” She nudged me, softly, as she continued. “Mama see Kachanie stand against so many people! Mama see Kachanie win title!” Tears had begun to form in her eyes as she watched me, while I fought the urge to cry. Had I had this level of support when I was a child, maybe things wouldn’t have gone the way they did for me. Maybe I wouldn’t have fallen down the rabbit hole of becoming a fucking hitwoman, and suffering the shit I had.

I really had nothing to reply with, she was right. When I walked into an arena and stepped between those hallowed ropes, I was pure intimidation. I dominated. I owned that place. I never doubted myself once those lights lit my world. Hearing my name on the tongues of thousands of people, screaming and shouting; that was my heaven. Nothing could stop me.

So why did I let myself kick dirt in my own face? Why did I let the fucking demons in my mind rattle my cage?

That stopped now. Never again.

I deserved to be in this place. To be in the fucking pantheon of the great wrestlers of the world. I EARNED my place. And those who knew me, knew it to be true. When Denzel scheduled me against Lissie Hope; he knew I could conquer whatever he threw at me. He knew I feared nothing that was placed in front of me. Something Lissie would find out soon enough. Denzel had faith in me. It was about damn time I had some fucking faith in myself!

I was fucking Druscilla Goddamned White, and I may have fallen as The Prophet but I fucking rose from the grave The Black Willow!

When I walk into that arena this week, and that crowd SCREAMS my name, that is my rebirth into this world!

Before I could say anything, there was a knock at my door and a voice boomed: “DRU!” I blinked a few times, and as I stood up to go open the door, it flew open and there he was. My Beast. He walked in, shutting the door behind him and that’s when he spoke. “Dru, you better not be doubting who you are! You are the REASON the world burns; the Queen standing on a throne of fucking CORPSES!” …. Deep down, I Knew it was him. Mama smiled, as I walked to him. Did she know?

Of course she knew. Mama knew everything.

Part of me wanted it to be him, so badly, and here he was. We stood there, looking at one another, not saying a word. Just taking the moment in, letting the fact we were finally face to face soak up. “I wanted it to be you….” I whispered as I reached out for him, slightly. A smile spread across his face, but neither one of us moved. “How did you…?”

The smug look on his face normally would drive me insane, but now it was endearing. “Nothing could keep me from you..” All of the things I had heard about this man over the years flew out the window. He wasn’t scary. He wasn’t a mindless killer. Killer, yes. Mindless, no. This man was bringing the truth out about who I was, whether I liked it or not. He had spent weeks taking up the predominant space in my head, drilling into me that I was so much more than I believed.

“My beautiful Wolf…” The way he looked at me, with a vicious affection, I knew he was real. This wasn’t a dream. I didn’t need to be pinched. We reached for one another slowly, but as we took each other’s hand, everything changed. Like the planets aligned, the stars were right and everything fell into place. I could feel everything around me vibrate. I could feel myself vibrate. When his hand touched mine, my world exploded with light.

Slipping into his embrace, I felt my heart beat with his. Like magnets, we flowed with one another. Mama chuckled as she leaned back against the couch, Reaper curling beside her. My Beast and I shared our moment together and smiled. For now we were together and safe. But soon, “You have a show this week, my Wolf, stick with me and you’ll curbstomp whoever they pay to fight you.” He smirked, touching his finger to my chin, lifting my gaze to his. “Let’s start with this Lissie Hope bitch…” With that, he kissed me and everything hushed. The shell of who I used to be fell away, and this man ripped the flesh that bound my wings, allowing me to fly.

My wings, filled with power and newly free from their bindings, were going to take me to however high I could dream. But my first stop was this fucking show in Vegas. Lissie Hope was going to be the first victim of the Era of the Wolf and the Willow. I had who I needed beside me, my Beast, my family and my club. I could do anything and I will conquer every fucking person who steps toe to toe with me.

“So, Lissie, I haven’t ever faced you. Never really heard about you. Never crossed paths with you, and now, we’re thrown together in the spirit of cross branding. Denzel is a good friend of mine, so I trust his judgment when he says we’re a good pairing.” I was in my hotel room, the Venetian was managed by a good friend of mine, so staying in one of the larger suites was amazing. “Sure, you’ve had a good career, plenty of wins under your belt, but have you ever really scrapped with someone who literally puts their life on the line every single time they step into the ring? Didn’t think so.” I looked out the window, over the strip, and sighed a bit.

Reaper purred and jumped onto the bed beside me. I brought him this trip, honestly, I wasn’t sure why. I needed a companion. Mama stayed behind in New York for when Henry and Priscilla returned home, where Hel eagerly awaited her favorite person. Ironically, my daughter. My beloved Hel had chosen Priscilla over me. I wasn’t a jealous person, those two fit with one another perfectly. But Reaper, he was strictly a Mama’s boy. He followed me everywhere. Literally.

“I’ve risked death. I’ve broken bones. I’ve ripped flesh. All in the name of getting the win. I leave it all in the ring. Not many can say that. Can you?” I turned, slightly, leaning against the wall, lighting a joint and smiling; my fangs glittering in the lights. Reaper churred as I grinned wider. “Can you really step into that ring with me at the invitational and not be scared? I won’t be. Nothing really scares me. I’ve looked down the barrel of a gun, and lived. Technically. I’ve stared the Devil dead in the eyes and thrown her down the oubliette. I have walked through fire, Lissie, and come out unscathed. Fuck, I went from my own company’s pay-per-view straight to Tara’s Charity Cruise and kicked the doors down in both events. I walked where angels fly.” I laughed, taking a drag off my joint as I walked over to the fainting couch in the overly ornate suite. I sat down, long legs stretching out beside me.

I wasn’t some listless whaife. I wasn’t some Holly Golightly that people could push over. I was the defiant Black Willow, who bends for no one. The strong pillar which holds up the pantheon of fighters. I was the creature The Beast picked up and has taught to fly.

“When we step into that arena, Lissie, I hope you know, I won’t go easy. I won’t stop when you beg for mercy. I won’t back off until I hear your bones crack and smell the blood that pools around you.” I snarled, the vicious growl that resonated from my throat was almost feral. “I will leave you sprawled in a pool of your own blood, ineptitude and over-inflated ego. You’ll look up at me from the flat of your back, and you’ll wish you could be half as fucking gracefully savage as me. You’ll find out first hand the distance to which I will go to secure the fucking win.” The smoke rolled from between my teeth as I snarled again, I was happily the villain in most people’s stories, but now I was owning it. I didn’t care anymore. This was the business I had chosen, and let’s be real for a second here; I was fucking BUILT for it.

“Lissie, I won’t repeat myself, and I won’t slam the same fucking spiel that every single wannabe wrestler vomits up but, I have to be blunt. I will rock your Goddamned world, and I will make you regret ever signing up for this event. PRAY you don’t cross my path afterward the show.” I sneered, taking another hit off my blunt. I pondered for a moment as I exhaled slowly, grinning widely. “I’m a Wolf of Odinn, I’m no fucking Lamb of God.”

As the scene began to fade to BLACK, the sound of wolves howling in the background faded into a cackle of mine. Once the bell rang in that arena and the crowd screamed their names; I was on the fucking hunt and I wasn’t coming home without having drenched the fucking strip in BLOOD. This was the era of the Wolf and the Willow.