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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
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Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
01-14-2022, 11:59 PM

We cut to an exterior shot of an all-red stretch hummer limousine cruising down the side streets of what looks like a semi-major city. There is a slight sleet coming down from the night sky but the stretch hummer limousine is running through the slush with no problem. All the street signs have symbols and letters that seem indecipherable to you, the viewer, because you are uncultured and most likely unfamiliar with the alphabet of kalaallisut.

We slowly zoom in on the red hummer limousine as it cruises down the slushy side streets of Nuuk. We zoom through the illegally dark tint on the limo’s windows before cutting directly to a shot of the vehicle’s interior. In the back of the limo we see Morbid Angel chopping it up with The Nickleman as the pair sit on the leather seats. Charlie’s golden championship belt is proudly hanging around his waist.

“So Morbs, is that the whole plan? We run into the body chopshop, grab what we need, then get the fuck out so we can begin the ceremony?”

“Well…..no. But that’s most of it!”

Charlie seemed to completely deflate. He looked exasperated beyond words as he placed his head in his hands.

“How long will I have to wait until my love is freed from her terrible golden curse?!”

*His, and like I’ve said a thousand times before, you just need to be patient. God works on his own time, but I can assure you we have almost completed the final preparations.”

“You told me that you could make her into a woman, with boobs and everything…”

“And I can put Goldi’s soul into such a body, Charlie. You must only have patience.”

“I’ve been waiting for WEEKS, Morbid! I'm ready!”

“And that’s exactly why we’re finding our conduit tonight. Don’t worry Charlie, we will bring Goldi to life. Tonight we’re going to get one step closer to unlocking the Godly miracles that no one has ever seen before. Tonight, Charlie, we are going to find the perfect cadaver for the ritual.”

Morbid Angel placed a reassuring hand on Charlie’s shoulder as he flashed a big smile at the TV champion. Charlie sighed softly before cracking a smile of his own.

“You know what, Morbs? I have a gut feeling that you might just be right. There’s something in my stomach- butterflies, maybe- and I just know that soon Goldi and I are going to be truly united in the flesh. It will be a glorious sight for all to behold….let’s make sure we find the sexiest body we can find for my Goldi! She deserves to look like a real DIME!”

Morbid Angel removed his hand and started to chuckle gently.

“Well Charlie we are limited by the options the morgue has for us, but luckily more people than ever seem to be dying these days. God truly is great.”

“God is always looking out for me and Goldi!”

Morbid Angel looked at Charlie Nickles and his championship belt with immense skepticism and disbelief, but the twisted hand of God chose not to voice his homophobic thoughts at this time. He merely let them pass with silent scorn.

“Uh huh, right…….”

Morbid Angel looked out of the window as Charlie unclipped Goldilocks and began coddling her in the back of the limo. Charlie whispered sweet nothings to his championship belt while stroking the nameplate at the bottom of her golden center. Meanwhile, Morbid Angel continued to stare out the window as the red hummer limo slowly halted to a stop. A few seconds went by before Morbid turned to Charlie Nickles and spoke once more.

“Looks like we’re here. All those cold slabs of meat and bone are going to be laying there for the taking just past those doors. They might have a guard or two inside, and I know plenty of creepy morticians who actually prefer to work at night. We’ll have to be incredibly stealthy and careful if we want to get through this building unnotic-....Charlie?”

Morbid Angel looked over at Charlie who was absolutely not paying any attention at all. The Nickleman was absolutely caught up in the coddling sweet talk: every ounce of his attention was being given to the golden belt Charlie was holding up right in front of his battle scarred face. Morbid snapped his fingers precisely two times. On the second snap Charlie finally looked over at Morbid.

“What?! Can’t you see I’m having some alone time with my baby?!”

“Charlie, we’re here.”

Morbid Angel rolled down the tinted window of his door to show Charlie that the two were in fact parked in front of a medium sized brick building with minimal windows and minimal exterior lighting. Charlie leans forward and squints- but he doesn’t see any sort of sign or postage for the building.

“How can you tell this is the morgue? It just looks like any other building to me.”

Charlie leans back as he remains unconvinced that they’ve truly arrived. Morbid Angel turns his neck ever so slightly so he can make eye contact with The Nickleman.

“I can hear the screaming souls inside. The ones that are trapped in purgatory and haven’t already been damned to the hellfire, that is. Let’s try to find a cadaver that isn’t super loud, alright?”

Charlie looks as if he is reconsidering this mission. He gulps softly as Morbid Angel speaks with confidence about the screaming souls inside the morgue. Charlie then looks directly into the camera for a few seconds. Morbid Angel opens his door and steps out of the limousine before turning back to look at Charlie and Goldi.

“So are you coming?”

Charlie continues to look at the XWF cameras inside of the limousine.

“Well, actually, you know what I was thinking?”

“Hmmm?”

Morbid looks over at Charlie with clear annoyance. Charlie turns to face Morbid Angel with a big smile. Charlie looks as if a big lightbulb has gone off inside of his head.

“Well….we don’t want these cameras following us into a morgue and recording video evidence of what may or may not happen in there!”

“Charlie….we are XWF superstars, we are quite literally above the law. Thaddeus Duke has committed war crimes in AMERICA, I think we will be fine if we steal a body in GREENLAND. No one cares about crimes in Greenland- I don’t even think the police officers here have guns, Charlie. We’ll be fine.”

Charlie looked at Morbs- but his gaze quickly passed by Morbid Angel before settling on the brick building behind him.

Screaming souls?

Charlie shook his head from side to side. He had been to hell before and he had tangoed with ghosts before. What if a ghost tried to snatch up Charlie’s body YET AGAIN to fulfill its own agenda? Charlie wasn’t about to let that happen.

“You go on without me, Morbs! I’ll stay out here and keep the cameras busy. Goldi will be our lookout!”

“Yeah, right, okay.”

Morbid Angel rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be right back….hopefully.”

Morbid Angel slams the car door shut and walks into the brick building all on his own. The angel’s all-black suit seems to be divinely immune to the falling sleet- not one speck of slush falls onto our fallen, gray-haired angel as he ducks off the camera and into the dark building.

“Now it’s all up to us to steal the show, Goldi, and make everyone forget what they just saw….I think we can do it, don’t you?”

Charlie holds Goldi up once more as he flashes a toothy smile at the belt. Charlie looks over his shoulder for a few moments before turning back to the golden belt he’s holding in front of his face.

“All we need is an artsy backdrop and a sick beat to have everyone’s eyes on us! Let’s make magic happen, baby.”

Charlie leans forward and taps on the partition separating the driver from the passengers in the limo.

“Hey Jimmy, play that old country song that Goldi likes so much!”

Charlie plants a loving kiss on the championship belt before opening up his car door and stepping out into the sleet with the TV belt now slung around his shoulder. A Marty Robbins tune begins to play on the hummer’s expensive stereo system.



Charlie holds Goldi out in front of him before moving his feet to the melody of the music. The championship couple dances in the middle of a dark city street. The demon star of Algol shines down upon the lovers as they twist and twirl amidst the falling sleet. Charlie looks lovingly at his championship belt as they bask in each other’s company.

“I love to be alone with you, Goldi.

Do you love to be alone with me?”


Charlie smiles and nods as he listens to his lover’s response.

“Oh that’s so great to hear.”

With Charlie reassured of Goldi’s love the pair were able to dance beneath the starlight in the silent presence of the other. Charlie closed his eyes as he moved his hands around on the belt. Charlie stretched the belt out and began holding it the long way with one hand on each edge of the leather strap. He imagined what it would be like to dance with Goldilocks in the flesh. He pictured her beach blonde hair, he pictured her pale skin. He closed his eyes as he looked down at the empty space beneath the championship plate: then he pictured her chest.

The Nickleman continued to enjoy the presence of his precious belt as loud screams were heard from inside the brick building. Charlie paid them no mind, as they must have just been those screaming souls Morbs had mentioned earlier. As the song hit it’s second verse Charlie Nickles couldn’t help but put his own spin on the tune. He sung out in harmony with the beat as he held Goldi by each end of her leather strap.

That night she came and took my Goldi, and headed in to town

I knew I had to find this Betsy, and try to gun her down

As I walked by a dim café, and I looked through the door

I saw my Goldi with her new love and I couldn't stand no more

I couldn't stand no more

I took my pistol from my hip, and with a trembling hand

I took the life of that bitch, and her good for nothin' man

That good for nothin' man!

I think about the thing I've done, I know it wasn't right

They'll bury Bets tomorrow, but they're hanging me tonight

They're hanging me tonight…..

Or at least they’re going to try, right?

But I won’t let them succeed, Goldi. I won’t let them separate us again. Neither of us could handle that.


Charlie stopped dancing and stood somberly in the road. He brought Goldilocks to his waist and looked down at her as slush began to fall onto her plates.

Isn’t Ruby supposed to be some big hero? Well, what kind of hero tries to stamp out the flames of true love? Not any hero I’d want our children to look up to, that’s for sure.

I certainly wouldn't let our children look up to Ruby….but I’d love for them to look up AT Ruby, while she’s dangling there and swinging from a noose. She’s good for nothing, you know that? She’s an awful wrestler, an awful role model, and just an awful parent. I want our children to know that if they ever grow up to be as awful as Ruby then I won’t hesitate to bury them alongside her.

I mean seriously Goldi, what kind of awful mother gives her child to a homeless man on the side of the street? A furry, misshapen child, but a child nonetheless! Only an alcoholic would treat their child with such flagrant disregard. Ruby really gave her baby away and just told it to scream real loud if this random bum starts beating or molesting them. Ruby really saw a sign that said ‘no fur babies shitting in the bar’ and handed that leash right the fuck over. I wish some high-class bitch would’ve done something like that when I was homeless. I woulda’ taken that mutt down to the chinese restaurant and gotten a nice payout! You know what I’m saying, Goldi?


Charlie nodded and laughed for a few moments before immediately cutting to a silence. He looked down at Goldi with an immediately apologetic expression.

Racist joke? What, oh no that’s not how I meant it! I’m sorry Goldi, it’s just locker room talk. I didn’t mean anything by it, you know I’m not a racist guy! I’m a good, nice guy!

Charlie smiled at Goldi as he waited for her to accept his apology. As soon as she did he went right back into his rant against Ruby.

I’m glad we got that cleared up, baby. While we’re at it we should probably also clear some things up for little miss Ruby-O. You know Goldi, this cereal-box bitch doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about. How can a nickle be a dime a dozen? A NICKLE ISN’T EVEN A DIME! Ruby needs to understand the simple facts about the Nickleman before she starts spouting off her nonsense. The simplest of all my facts is the fact that I’m the baddest motherfucker to ever fight off the coat hanger and perform my own C-section! The banana-lime mamma needs to understand that the only dimes I’m familiar with are the ones that would polish my cock after my victories!

Charlie looks up to the camera with a perverted smile.

But of course, ever since I got back with Goldi I’ve turned a whole new leaf in that regard.

Charlie wraps the championship belt around his midsection. Once the belt is firmly secured around his waist he smacks the golden centerplate of the belt like it’s a big ol’ booty cheek.

You know, I really used to be a bigtime manwhore- until Goldi settled me down, that is. I was an everyday Centurion! I mean really, I’ve been on tour with that guy before and let me tell you, the ladies just fling their panties at him….and he catches them with his mouth! If Ruby thinks he’s being faithful to her while he’s out on tour then she really needs to use her superpowers so she can figure out the obvious. I mean shit, Centurion is always leaving Ruby notes telling her that he’s ‘going out for drinks’ with ‘dudes, definitely dudes’ and that she ‘doesn’t need to wait up’!

As someone who has cheated on a lot, and I mean A LOOOOOOTTTT of women before, let me tell you something Rubes: Centurion is DEFINITELY cheating on you! It’s like he took a page out of my playbook because he is using all the same excuses I did! I mean come on Ruby, how much of an alcoholic are YOU that it seems normal for Centurion to go out every night for drinks with his boys? Come on girl, you’re not this stupid, you have to know he has several little birdies sitting on his log on any given week!

But hell, maybe Ruby has just made peace with the fact that Centurion doesn’t treat her right. Some people know they don’t deserve very much in this world and Ruby strikes me as one of those people. Ruby has never been one to put herself out there. She doesn’t reach out to take what she should be owed. She’s not busting down Vinnie Lane’s door to demand title shots, she’s not stirring the pot like yours truly does in order to secure MY title shots, she’s not doing anything but sitting around and waiting to be booked! Maybe she’s just the go-along to get-along type, and well, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But that’s just not the way The Nickleman rolls. Big Chucky Cheese always throws the first punch and

And you know there’s nothing wrong with those go-along to get-along types, but there is just something about them that is so nauseating to me, personally. I think it’s the smell of their big sweltering pussies that disgusts me so much, but that’s neither here nor there.

Just know this: The Nickleman doesn’t roll with pussies.

I can’t hang with em’ either: that’s why only one of us is going to be swinging from that noose tomorrow night, Ruby-O.

My instincts tell me that I’m going to be stringing Rubes up like a set of green and yellow Christmas lights before rolling into my Fire and Ice defense as the pre-ordained #1 contender to the uni…..

But hey, I’ve been wrong before…..and if I’m wrong this time, Rubes?

Don’t be a hero.

Don’t try to be a savior.

If through some miracle you can wrench my Goldilocks away…then just let me hang there.

If I can’t live my life with my Goldi then I can’t live a life worth living.”


Charlie’s melodramatic soliloquy is brought to an abrupt end when the front door to the brick building swings open. Hoops and hollers ring out through the open doorway as we see Morbid run out of the building with something wrapped in a blanket. The blanket is slug over his shoulder and seems to be bouncing up and down as Morbid darts to the hummer.

“We have to go. NOW!”

Charlie sees a bunch of people following Morbid through the doorway and darts into the hummer. Seconds later Morbs and his 'loot' hop in. The hummer limo immediately speeds off as a crowd of angry people start gathering where the car once was. As Charlie gets a closer look at the object wrapped in the blanket he can tell that it is a fresh corpse.

“WERE THOSE ZOMBIES?!?!”

“No, they were homeless crackheads!”

Charlie looked up at Morbid in stunned silence as they drove off into the night to continue their adventure.....


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