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Stevie Tyler · **07-01-2013, 01:53 PM**

Just 3 Days Ago

"So...Excited about your 'big debut' Wednesday?" LJ, Stevie's completely oblivious roommate asked while wearing his stupid, ironic Kenny Rogers shirt he had picked up at Wal-Mart earlier in the week. Of course he wasn't excited. Stevie Tyler was freaking terrified. World-1 International, while he may be on a losing streak, still has experience. Plus, he can clearly take a beating. Something Stevie has never in his life been able to do. Then you've got Kid Ant, who, even though his name is KID Ant still knows how to talk big. That's something that's always made Stevie nervous. And MC Josh...Why, he's just mysterious so far. Mysterious is never good.

Gary, on the other hand...Not terrified at all. While Gary may be dumb and extraordinarily immature for a being as old as time itself, he wasn't really afraid of anything. Much less getting his host beaten to a pulp.

Anyway, Stevie responds with basically what we said up there. You know, about how he's scared of all his opponents. So, LJ laughs at him. They walk into Hot Topic together, and a bouncy girl bounces bouncily up to them. She's wearing skinny jeans, combat boots, and...and this is the part that makes Stevie fall in love, so pay attention, a Dragonforce t-shirt. She tilts her head tossing her blue hair to one side, and waves.

"Hi! I'm Julie! Just so you know, we have buy-1 get-1 on all rock tees and half off clearance! Let me know if I can help you guys with anything!" Oh, she could help Stevie with quite a few things, he thought, virginally.

"You could help me by letting me take you out to dinner later, if you want," LJ says, the bastard.

"Aww, that's sweet. I've got to close tonight, though. Plus, I'm not sure my boyfriend would like that," the gorgeous ray of sunshine replied. Bittersweet, thought Stevie.

Stevie spots a Batman t-shirt off to the side and picks it up for further inspection. It's pretty cool. You know, it does have Batman on it. But it's that crappy soft, thin material they make everything with nowadays that does not compliment the husky one bit. He sighs and puts it back. He turns around and catches himself staring at Julie just a bit too long. So long, in fact, that she transforms into a 9ft tall centipede walking upright.

See, things like this have been happening to Stevie a lot since he cast the Dark Ritual in Magic: The Gathering and was possessed by Gary. Gary's world and his own have been mixing. Nobody has seemed to really notice on Stevie's side, though, other than Gary. What people did notice, was Stevie's reaction to these events.

Like this time, Julie's boyfriend who had just walked in totally noticed Stevie checking her out even though it's just because she's a terrifyingly gross centipede. See the issue here?

"Hey! What do you think you're looking at?" the jerk asked quite rudely. The centipede vanished, and a nervous Julie was in it's place. Stevie tried to turn around and grab the Batman shirt, as if Batman would materialize and save him.

Batman has no powers. Especially not that one. I'm not sure anyone in the Justice League has that. Maybe Mister Miracle. Is he even in the JLA?

The big jerk with the nondescript tribal nonsense tattooed on his arms and the Avenged Sevenfold beanie grabbed Stevie and tossed him over a dainty Hello Kitty display. LJ hid in the dressing room. Julie did too. They made out, LJ lied later.

Stevie tried to get up but stepped right on a 5lb gummy bear, which is not made to help one balance, and he fell back down. Now the jerk was on him. He had seen an MMA fight once and was convinced he was as good as Tito Ortiz. He was not, but he was better than Stevie.

Two sloppy shots later, and Stevie was knocked out. Now, the next thing Stevie remembers is waking up in the same spot and seeing the jerk on the ground, holding his back, and begging for mercy.

What had happened was...

The lights went out in the mall. Hot Topic was pitch-black as it should be. It no longer looked like Claire's had violated it and refused to clean up as most Hot Topics do these days. When the lights returned, Stevie was gone and was replaced by a massive man wearing black and white wrestling gear and a viking helmet/mask/beard combo. All part of the mask. Don't let it fool you.

Let's just skip the surprise here, it was Gary. His wrestling avatar.

Gary grabbed the jerk by the throat and squeezed tightly. The jerk tried to get off and away, but Gary stood without loosening the grip. He shouted loudly, "I'm about to layeth the smacketh down, bro!" and chokeslammed him. The lights went off again, annnnnnnddddd there's Stevie.

Gary was gone.

Because that's a thing they do now. Is that clear?

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