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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
My Inferior
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Cage Coleman Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
12-02-2021, 06:22 PM

A lavishly dressed Cage Coleman is shown standing at a podium after Bad Medicine, like a white Cam Newton. Because he didn't have a match, though, the seats are completely empty except for one, lone reporter.

"I'd like to start by thanking everyone for being here," Coleman begins, adjusting the pirate hat atop his head.

"You're welcome!" the pudgy journalist responds with a smile, happy just to be there.

Cage rolls his eyes, covers the mic, and leans to the side. "That didn't need a response!" He goes back to speak, but the reporter, whose nametag reads RODGER, interrupts him once more.

"Sorry."

Coleman sighs, taking a moment to close his eyes and find his happy place before continuing. "First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate Kyle Rittenhouse on proving his innocence, much like I had to do when I was falsely accused of murder. He is an inspiration to us all, and living proof that the justice system is alive and kickin'! I am proud to say that I donated to his defense fund, and I will be equally proud to donate to his presidential campaign once the time arises!"

Rodger, who had been writing down every single word out of Cage Coleman's mouth, looked up from his notepad to ask a simple, and fair, question. "How much money DID you donate to Mr. Rittenhouse's defense funds?"

"That information's classified," a dodgy Coleman answered before quickly moving on. "Next, I wanna address my actions against Reggie Estrada. I wanted to have a match with Reggie.............. well, a match with someone, and Estrada's name just happened to get pulled from the hat. Now, I wanted to win that match, and move on to Ceila, and then Charlie, and finally Betsy Granger tonight. But you know how things go when you make plans, something ALWAYS comes along to ruin 'em....................... and that something was Reggie Estrada. Not because he BEAT me, oh no, 'cause I whooped his ass just like I told y'all I would! Nope, instead he ATTACKED ME, and tried to rob the world of the greatness that is Cage Coleman by ending my career! Well, he didn't end my career, nor did he cost me my match against Faceless Female Wrestler #69; but by the time I'd wrestled 2 matches and just narrowly avoided having my ankle completely separated from my leg, I was no match for a former Television Champion of..............." Cage gulps, trying to work up the 'courage' to lie about the man who'd bested him in the Finals. "Charlie Nickles' caliber." Coleman's eye twitched, and he may have thrown up in his mouth a little bit. "The fact of the matter is, fat Joker wouldn't have been so lucky if it wasn't for Reggie Estrada, or my own move!"

"Now, I could've forgiven him for cheapshotting me, he'll, I'd even forgive him for costing me a shot at the TV Title; but to try and ruin my life because I threw you into a snowman is something I will NOT let go!"

"But I won't go as low as Reggie, I would NEVER go as low as Reggie"
(more lies) "I'll bitch slap ya, or talk shit about your mama, but one thing I will NEVER do is try and make it so that we'll never be able to face off again. I have standards, unlike him and that trash he hangs around. It's no wonder they call them THUGS.................." Coleman, unsure whether or not his last comment was racist, hurries to move away from it. "Questions?"

Rodgers' hand anxiously shoots up but, rather than call on him right away, Cage looks out among the empty seats as if there were actually butts filling them. After an admittedly long time of doing this, Coleman eventually calls on the only one there. The overzealous reporter jumps to his feet so fast, he knocks over the chair behind him.

"Rodger Waters, no relation to Dolly or the guy from Pink Floyd, of the Wrestling Inquirer," he introduces himself. "I'm a firm believer in the old adage 'an eye for an eye.............'"

Cage(as well as the rest of us) notices the eyepatch over the man's left eye. "...............'tooth for a tooth,' right?"

"Exactly," Rodger smiles, revealing multiple missing teeth. "That being said, why wouldn't you want to inflict the same punishment onto someone else that THEY did to you? Is it a matter of ethics, or do you, deep down, RESPECT Reggie Estrada?"

Cage Coleman chuckles, taking off his hot pink sunglasses and shaking his head. "Whoever said there's no such thing as a stupid question sure needs to hear this one!" A defeated Rodger goes to sink into his chair, only to fall upon realizing it's not there, anymore. Embarrassed, he hurries to his feet in a pathetic manner and takes a seat in one next to him.

"This isn't about ethics, OR respect," Cage continues. "I can't respect anyone who would stoop so low as to try and end a wrestler's career over a single match................ ESPECIALLY one that wasn't even for a Title! I had no beef with Reggie before Savage, and I wasn't aware he had any with ME!!!!! Sure, I said some harsh things leading up to our match, but there wasn't a shred of fake news in my words. That's the problem with liberals nowadays, they're so wishy washy about everything. You can kill an unborn child, but don't you DARE gun down someone comin' at you with a deadly weapon like a skateboard or bottle of Gatorade!!! GOD, I'm so tiled up now, I don't even remember the question!"

For some reason, Rodgers raises his hand, but proceeds to speak without even waiting to be called on. "Do you respect Reggie Estrada?"

Coleman giggles. "He lost a match by being thrown into a snowman, what do YOU think?"

"I'm just gonna write 'respect has yet to be earned,'" the reporter informs Cage.

"Respect will NEVER be earned."



Not long after his press conference had wrapped up, a young fan chased Cage Coleman down in the parking lot on his way to whatever piece of shit car Vinnie Lane could scrounge up to rent for him that week(today's was an admittedly nice limo, except for the fact there was no driver). As Cage headed for the vehicle he wasn't quite sure he was legally allowed to drive, the child struggled to catch up to him.

"Waiiiiiiiiiiiit!" he called out, losing more ground than he was gaining. He held a black Sharpie in one hand, and a Bad Medicine program in the other; both of which he was waiting frantically. "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!"

Cage Coleman knew the sound of an adoring fan, causing him to stop himself mid-step and pivot on his other foot to perfectly turn around to face them. Standing before him was a young African-American child, who couldn't have been any older than 18(Cage isn't very good at guessing any age before 18, because that's the only one that matters to him). Coleman smiled and got down to the kid's level, where he held out the pen and program, eagerly.

"You want an autograph from the world's greatest wrestler, don't you?" The kid nodded, almost forcing the contents of his hands into Cage's. "Normally I charge $50 for this, but I suppose I can make an exception." Coleman scribbles on the cover and gives the program back to the child, who frowns.

"Oh............."

"Oh?!" Cage, who was already regretting missing out on that fifty bucks, blurted out. "Oh what?!?"

"Well, this is cool and all," the kid replied in a disappointed cool. "But I was REALLY hoping for Reggie Estrada's autograph!"

"Are you fucking joking?" a bewildered Coleman asked, not giving a shit about swearing in front of a child. "If you wanted Reggie Estrada's autograph so bad, why didn't you go ask HIM for it?!"

Rhe kid's tone immediately changed with his answer. "Because you put him in the hospital."

Tears rolled down Cage's face, not because he felt bad, but because he was trying hard not to laugh. Thankfully, an African couple ran up to them, breaking his focus on the subject. Coleman was startled, at first, until he realized these fine folks were the child's parents.

"You found our Dante, thank God!" the mom cried out, bending down and giving the kid a big hug.

The dad patted little Dante on the head before turning and looking at Cage. "Honey, look! It's the man who was beating up that minority earlier in the night!" It sounded worse than it was because neither of them actually watched XWF, or else they NEVER would've taken their child to one of their events.

"Do you know what this kid just asked me?"

"If you were a cop?"

"..................no!" Cage yelled, wondering why the hell anyone would ask him that. "He asked ME for someone else's autograph!"

"Annnnnnd?" the mom, now on the defense, asked. "What's wrong with that?!"

Not wanting to get into an argument and become the next Karen on the internet, Coleman sighs and takes the items back from the kid. "You're right, how silly of me."

"You mean you're gonna get me Reggies autograph?!!" an excited Dante joyfully squeeked.

"You bet your ass I am," Cage responds, coyly. "Next time I kick Reggie's ass, whether it be a match, or anywhere else he decides to put himself in my line of fire, I'm gonna make him sign his name with his own blood!!!!!"

The mother wraps her arms around her child and backs away from Coleman. "Come on, Dante, this cracka's crazy!!!!!!" The two of them run away, followed closely by the dad, until they disappear into the darkness of the parking lot.

"Well, they got THAT right, at least............."



"Reggie, I want you to know that you weren't supposed to make this any more difficult than you did. All you had to do was lay in the fuckin' snow, maybe make a snow angel or two while you were down there, and then move on with your life. Take some time off.. Wrestle someone you've never wrestled before. Do what you do best and sneak your way into another Xtreme Title run. Whatever, I don't care; out of sight, out of mind! But, instead, you decided to target ME with your pent up frustration, and kill MY momentum just as I was picking it up! I'm sorry you got beef, but there's a better way to handle it than attacking someone after a match like a 24/7 case holder cashing in on the Champion! Where I come from, we EARN that shit! If you wanted Cage Coleman again, all you had to do was ask! Maybe if you wouldn't have thrown your little temper tantrum, I would've been in better shape to take on Charlie, and eventually Betsy Granger. Just think, I might've won the Television Championship and you could've been my first defense. But, instead, your destined for a meaningless Ironman Match where I'm gonna beat you over and over again!"

"What are you trying to prove Reggie, that you're BETTER than me? Newsflash: you're not even my equal! It's not a big deal, though................. NOBODY is my equal! I don't need gold to show the world how rich I am, that's what my wrestling's for! You've got people like Reggie Estrada having to lean on their accomplishments as proof that they're worth a damn, when all I need is my PRODUCT. Just look at Jim Caedus. He's got the Universal Championship around his waist, yet he's no Champion in my eyes. The way he won that so called 'coveted' prize was really no different than how Reggie Estrada became Xtreme Champion twice. People don't look at wins like that as some sort of accomplishment, if anything, they wonder when someone's gonna win the Title in an ACTUAL match. And it's ironic, isn't it? To think how easy it really IS to become Universal Champion. All you have to do is catch the Xtreme Champion off guard once, defend the Title against a handful of schlubs you KNOW you're going to beat, and then that belt's as good as yours! It's scary to think someone as bad as Reggie Estrada COULD become Universal Champion, if only he was capable of pulling off such an elaaaaaaborate plan. Not that I condone it but, if I'm being honest, it's the only way most of these fuckers would EVER win the Universal Title; or ANY Title for that matter! Not me, I would NEVER go so low as to cheat my way to a Title!"


Cage totally would, he's just jealous that everyone else has done it and HE hasn't.

"And that's that's difference between me and you, Reggie. It's not our race, or even our wrestling styles............... it's the fact that I have standards, and YOU don't! Standards for my matches, standards for how I win my Titles, and standards for how I treat my opponents outside the ring! Sure, I'll verbally assault the hell out of you, but I'm not gonna lay a finger on you until we're inside the squared circle."

Tell that to North Korean War Criminal, or the Cage gave an Around the World too hard to.

"Here's what gonna happen Saturday night, Reggie: I'm gonna slap you around that ring for 30 straight minutes, beating you in every way imaginable, including by DQ! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Cage Coleman is SO good, he's gonna get his opponent disqualified against his will! I feel like that wrestler in the first Spider-Man movie, only instead of 3 minutes, I got you for 30! And it's gonna be a loooooooong 30 minutes, Reggie; everytime I pin you, or make you tap out, you'll be wishing it was for the final time................. but it won't be! Not.'til the clock. strikes. zero. And at that point, you'll have learned a valuable lesson: don't FUCK with Cage Coleman! Take note, XWF, a REAL wrestler has arrived!"
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