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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Bad Medicine 2021
Until Nothing Is In My Way
Author Message
Lycana Offline
The Dark Vixen of Violence



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
11-27-2021, 10:39 PM

OOC: This takes place after events in Marf's rp found HERE



My name painted in bloodstain
Making war with anything
Standing up in my way
With a rock from the mud to the brain
I'll be making your bed in the grave


_____________________________________________________________________________

She didn’t want to go back inside.

She stood, staring at her own home, except it didn’t even feel like it should. What should be a comfort to her, sent a tremor through her body. The aura had changed. It was forever tainted with the events that had occurred that morning. She could never have foretold it. She shudders as the grisly images storm their way through her mind's eye once more.

Damien’s face.

It hadn't even been a face anymore.

It had been a caved in bowl, filled with stringy meat.

Her stomach lurches dangerously, threatening to erupt. Not that there was anything in it. She had not even thought about food after those few sips of coffee she had with Marf.

Marf.

She didn’t know who that person was who had appeared in her kitchen, but it wasn’t Marf. Not her Marf. That person had been a stranger to her, one she had never seen before, even after all their time together. Even after all of the things they had done with one another. She had seen the sadness in his eyes, the sorrow, tinged with something she couldn’t identify before his mouth had crashed over hers. It had not been just a normal kiss though. She could almost taste the regret and pain. It was more like a goodbye, and it had confused her, making her head whirl. And then he had pulled away, and morphed right before her very eyes.

The ever so familiar face, and then the mask slid over his features, obscuring the one she had known and loved.

Then he had...

Her body gives a violent quake.

Lycana had seen a lot of death in her life, even participated in some. She had seen friends die, and come across their lifeless corpses. She had been so damn young when her sister and parents were murder, and those images were forever ingrained into her brain... but there was something, sickeningly special, and not in a good way, about watching someone you thought you knew better than anyone stomp the skull in of your friend in front of you.

That helpless feeling of shock, rooting you to the spot. Frozen and unable to to lift a finger in aid.

Could she have stopped his rage monster this time? She always had. She had a muzzle on it, and all it took was her presence, but that had not been enough this time. A word, a touch... she had failed to even try. All she could do was stand there. Stand there like a fucking statue. A useless, block of fucking ice... and Damien had suffered the price.

Guilt.

“This is my fault...”

“Don’t you dare Ly!”

Lycana lifts watery eyes to meet the blazing ones of Arcana.

“This is fucking Marf’s fault! Not yours!”

“But if I...”

“Shut the fuck up! What if he would have hurt you too?”

“He would never...”

“Can you say that? Did you think he would do this?!”

Lycana subsides, a tear spilling over to trickle down her cheek as she turns her face back to the façade of her house, the windows like dark, dead eyes in its face. She shivers. She wanted to believe that he would never hurt her. Their bond was like nothing she had ever experienced. Their relationship. Their love. It wasn’t enough to stop this, so who was she to say anything? But deep down, her entire being rebelled at the notion, her soul screaming its denials even as her brain waved the image of Damien’s brain splattered across her kitchen as evidence.

“Do you think he is still in there?”

“I don’t know Kaiya.”

“If he is, I’m fucking tell you, that I am going to incinerate his ass. No, that’s too damn fast. I’m going to take fucking pieces off of him, one by one with fireballs. Then I'm going to burn his eyeballs out of his face. And THEN...”

Lycana fades out again as Arcana rages on. She could almost see the smoke pouring out of the pyromancers ears, no pun intended. She didn’t want to think of what would happen if Marf was still in her house. She had not even thought about that when Arcana had poofed them back. She had not even wanted to come back, but Arc had wanted to see for herself.

She had run from Marf, only thinking to get away from the scene, to wipe that vision from her eyes and had failed. She had hurtled up the stairs and into their bedroom, locking the door like he couldn’t have just ripped it from its hinges if he wanted to. Then, she had called Arcana, not knowing where else to turn. Damien had been Ly’s friend, but he had been Arcana’s closest, her best friend, them growing up together in the orphanage. She had found herself whisked away to California on a red cloud of magic, faced with a hysterical woman, as she herself had fallen into hysterics.

Jimmy had loved it.

Once they had both calmed enough for Lycana to spit the story out, and then had themselves a good cry again, anger had taken over Arcana, and she demanded they go back.

So here they were.

“Let’s go Tav. We can’t leave Damien in there.”

She sucks in a deep breath and merely nods, both stepping forward in unison to cross the lawn, moving up the steps to the front door. Her breathing halted, Lycana reaches out and puts her hand on the doorknob. After a moment's hesitation, she turns in and pushes the door open, bracing herself for...

Nothing.

The house stands cold and silent.

They step in and Lycana watches as Arcana closes the door, feeling a weird sensation of being boxed in. They move deeper into the living room, eyes scanning everything, but all is still. The air is heavy around them, laden with the horrors that had happened hours before. It was as if the evil of the action, had permeated the very bones of the house, and it was slowly oozing from the walls.

“Marf?” she calls out, hoping to not hear an answering word or footstep. None is forthcoming. “Wait here.”

It would be better if it was just her, and he didn’t see Arcana, if he was here. She moves through the house, climbing the stairs and poking her head in room by room. Nothing is disturbed or out of place. As she approaches the door to the master bedroom, she can see that it is off kilter. No, not only off kilter, most of it splintered into pieces. Her steps slow, and she looks beyond the broken door, into the room beyond.

It was empty.

She carefully steps over the rubble, taking a moment to glance into the bathroom before walking towards the bed, where only a single thing was different from how she had left it.

A frame lay on the bed.

In it, a picture of them.

She looks at it for a long moment, wondering what he had been thinking when he picked it up. Wondering if he knew that he had destroyed what they had. Wondering if he knew that within a few short moments, he had destroyed everything she held dear, setting her lost and adrift.

But it was her fault, when you got to the root of it.

Maybe if she had not been such a snarky bitch.

Maybe if she had just reached out to him after their fight.

Maybe if she didn’t have the toxic tendency to shut down when she didn’t know what to do or say.

Maybe if she had just tried harder to mend the rough and torn patches they had been going through.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

She would never know now. Never have those what if answers. She had done none of it, and it was Damien who paid the price. His blood was on her hands. It should have been her. It should be her on that cold floor downstairs, dead with her face caved it. She had tempted Death enough, who was she to cheat it once more, and get someone else hurt in the process? She looks one last time at the picture, then sets it on the table, face down before making her way back down the stairs where Arcana stood, just beyond the kitchen doorway.

“You don’t want to see this Kai... fuck, I don’t want to see this again.”

“I have to Tav. I have to see if I can fix this.”

“I think this might even be beyond you... Do they even work on...” she chokes on the word. “Dead... people?”

“I... I don’t know.”

Lycana goes first, the sight of the gore decorating the cabinets and walls making her stomach flip once more. She hears the sharp inhalation next to her, the low keening noise of denial, the anger flipping to horror at the sight. The girl’s fall into each other's arms, the tears flowing freely as they stood surrounded by the macabre scene.

“How could he?” Arcana drops to her knees in the puddle of now clotted blood that had spread into a pool around Damien’s body.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t even him. I...” her voice quivers as she takes her place by Arcana’s side. “I warned you.”

“I didn’t expect...” she swallows a sob, but brings her hands up, moving them in intricate motions. The familiar gold trails begin, leaving glittering patterns in the air as she performs her healing magic over Damien.

Nothing.

She tries again, her movements jerky. And then again, desperation in every flick of her hand.

“It’s no use.” Lycana whispers.

“No.” Arcana denies. “No, no, no, no, NO!”

For a long time, there is nothing but the sound of harsh breathing, sniffles, and crying, then Arcana’s head snaps around to Ly. “The bell... the BELL! You can bring him back.”

“Kaiya, he doesn’t even... have a brain. He wouldn’t, I don’t even think he’d...”

“I’ll heal him.” Arcana grips Ly’s shoulders, her eyes wide and wild. “As you bring him back to life, I’ll heal him. We can work together. We can fix this.”

“I... I can’t... I...”

“You can! You have before... we have to try, we have to. We...”

“I CAN’T KAI!”

Arcana stares at her, still holding her grip. “Why not?”

“I don’t even know who I am anymore Kaiya. After everything I saw...”

She hesitates.

“You might as well tell me.”

“But...”

Arcana looks at Damien.

“He’s not going anywhere.” she replies, drily.

Lycana didn’t know if she should laugh, or cry again. Some sort of strange, strangled moan comes out instead as she starts her story, telling Arcana everything she had experienced while under the influence of the Gorgon elixir that she had created. From the moment she had swallowed it...

“You’re fucking stupid, do you know that?”

“Heard that a lot lately.”

… to when Marf had shaken her awake, and carried her home where she had slept for three days straight, waking up this morning and falling directly into the current events.

“I don’t know who I am. Who the real Tavora is. I always thought that Cate was the one who controlled me being a shapeshifter, I thought it was something I had to earn from her and instead, it was in my DNA all along.”

Why had Hecate rescued her as a child when she was thrown in to get poked and prodded after she had been blamed for the murder of her family? Why had she been plucked from there, protected from retribution from killing her tormentor, raised up just outside the coven, but not being told anything about it until she hit a certain age? An age old enough to start learning under her tutelage? Had she known? Had she seen what Lycana really was and decided to try and keep her for herself, to control her like Jonah wanted to control Tavya?

“My line was created, literally created, to be an army for the Left Hand. A weapon. A fucking living, breathing weapon. I was MADE for that. Born and bred, through generations to be the very fucking thing I was. She sold her fucking soul to save her people, and enslaved them instead. I don’t even know how he controlled it, how he knew... where he got the virus in the first place. I wish I knew what happened through the years...”

Maybe this gift really was a curse. Her whole reason for being what she was, rested on the shoulders of the Left Hand. An entire race, made to be used as pawns to do whatever they were told to, under the guise of power. Killing and slaughtering at will, so that the group could advance with their plans with little to no resistance when faced with the jaws of death. She was made to be a killer. An assassin. A weapon. At one point, that might have made her happy. Now? Now she was questioning everything she ever was, or could be.

“So, what was me and what wasn’t this whole time? Is this what brought the Left Hand to me? It was nothing about what they saw in me, except my fucking DNA? Was the Baphomet really just blowing smoke up my ass? Did they hunt me down because of WHAT I was? Is that why I felt so compelled to join, because I had to? Not that I wanted to? Is that why Betsy and I started as enemies? She killed her sister... ending the peace that Betsy and I saw created together. Is that the strange draw we have always had? Who the fuck am I? What was me, and what is just in my goddamn genetics, forcing my hand? What the fuck am I?”

Had she even made any of those choices on her own? Was she who she was, simply because of the genetics that make her a lycanthrope? Each and every decision she had made, was now called into question. Was it her, or was it the wolf? Was she really rid of the Left Hand? Or would they be coming to her because she had turned her back on what her ancestor had pledged so long ago? She was no longer the tool, the walking weapon for the organization. Would they let that slide? Could she even be anything else? Or would she fall right back into line, her breeding taking over and bending her to its will? She had refused John Caedus, and she now knew he had a much deeper involvement... but would she be able to forever? Would he somehow, take control over her and revert her back to what Tavya was? Or would he simply kill her because of her insubordination?

“I don’t know what to do with myself anymore Kai. How can I just go on like I don’t know any of this? I don’t even feel like I should change to the wolf, like I need to keep the beast locked up. I don’t feel like myself. And I... don’t know if I should be doing the magic, and tempting fate again...”

She looks from one friend to the other, one living and one dead.

“... even to bring him back.”

“That’s... a lot of questions and a lot to absorb.” Arcana settles back on her heels with a sigh. “I don’t even have the answers for you. Do you feel like you’d go back to the Left Hand if they came for you? I mean, you’ve been away this long without any ties to them...”

“Baph’s body.” Lycana gives a short laugh, the realization dawning. “Maybe that’s why I was so damn compelled to keep it, to find it, to protect it and keep him alive. I was fucking programmed to. So maybe I would go back...”

“I don’t know what to say, except that I think you can pick your own path right now. I know you have a lot going on right now, but... look at Damien. He needs us.”

Like he needed her to do everything that she had not. Like he needed her to fix things with Marf instead of them sniping at one another. Guilt slams through Lycana’s body.

“He needs us to try. And maybe, maybe it won’t work and it would have been all for nothing but...”

Lycana lifts stormy gray eyes to meet Arcana’s hopeful amber ones.

“... what if?”

What if.

What if she had done things differently?

What if she was nothing but a puppet?

What if she could alter the future?

What if she could change the Universe?

What if she could bring Damien back?

What if?

What if it did work, and she could start making amends? What if it didn’t, and she felt even worse because she failed him a second time in a row, and Arcana on top of it? What if her magic was somehow connected to something out of her control and just programmed into her like a piece of machinery? What if Alias was right, and she was just existing to be something to someone else?

What was she?

Who was she?

Who the fuck, was Lycana?

But she finds her mouth opening, an agreement coming out. “Okay. Let’s try. Reika is at her friend's house still, I’m sure her mother wouldn’t mind if she stayed another night.”

And thank fuck for that.

Lycana dreaded telling Reika that Marf was gone... because the reality was, she couldn’t let him back home, not after what had happened. It was all over between them, and Reika was not likely to be able to understand why her adored Marfy couldn’t come help tuck her in at night. Read her a story. Be the father that he was to her.

A sob lodges heavy in her chest.

How could someone so gentle with her, someone who had stepped into the role of a parent without a single blink, do this?

At least now, for this moment Reika was with her friend Adalynn, in the wolf village. They were close to the same age, and played well together. Addy was on the autism spectrum, and the two girls had formed a connection, which pleased both Lycana and the girl's mother. Let it be a time of peace and happiness for Reika, before Lycana had to break her heart about Marf.

And possibly about Damien too, if she were to fail.

Failure.

She couldn’t fail.

She couldn’t allow it.

She was going to change the course of the Universe, at least one more time.

A red glow envelops them all.

And then they are gone.

_____________________________________________________________________________



“Where to start, where to start...

And where to end?

Seems like this rollercoaster of a prematch event is finally coming to a close, and I don’t know about you, but I am damn tired of words.

Yep, the long-winded bitch is over all this monologuing.

Can I just say, it was interesting, all this back and forth? I still stand by everything I said, and I have plenty more to go, but I wanted to preface this with that. While I don’t think we necessarily cleared the air between us, perhaps we even obscured things even more, it was damn more than we had going on back at Leap of Faith. I tried back then though, trying to piece together for you how I felt and what I did and why, and you just refused to see beyond the red haze of your rage. This time though? I think you are just not seeing beyond your own damn stubbornness.

Or maybe it is the simple fact that YOU can’t see ME for who I am now compared to then, while insisting I do the same for you.

Look Alias, I get that it's easy to look past me when you are holding the Universe in your hands, but it’s the ones you least expect that will come in and snatch something from you. You say that you remember what happened back in May, that you were in a different mindset back then, and yeah you were... But that doesn’t erase the threat I was to you then, the one you didn’t see coming.

And the one I am now.

The one you still don’t see coming.

I know you said that you aren't looking past me. Verbatim. I know you did; I have been paying attention and listening after all, despite what you may thing. It is one of the things you claimed that you were not doing.

But it is everything else that proves that statement wrong.

You have focused on aspects of me that I have never denied. You have focused on the fact that you are different. You have focused on that you have been undefeated since me. You have focused on that fact that you have the Universe and that makes you somehow untouchable.

Alias, many others have held it before you... You can hold it as tight as you wish, it doesn’t stop someone with the right amount of determination and drive. It happens to all, and it happens to the best.

They fall.

Yet you don’t think that I am going to be the One, simply because... I don’t have a blowtorch, or a way to light you on fire. Yeah, I was being a bit of a twat here, I understood what you meant. But I also have been telling you that I will do what it takes, anything at all... and that even completing the damn job... with my two bare hands.

I can assure you Alias... I am very much capable of being that One for you again, and I fully plan on it.

I don’t have anything to hold me back.

I called the relationship we share complicated, painted us as possibly allies, but that is off the table when we step in the ring together, at least while we are not standing side by side. In that ring, you are not my friend, not my ally, not anything other than someone that I need to get through.

But you have missed one very important detail.

The singular thing, but the biggest that has changed right here, right now with you as opposed to about everybody else that I have faced.

Something that I have always said to them, and even to you back in our other two matches, something that I have always held to that I purposely did a one eighty with here.

I come to fight. I live for it. I enjoy every moment of my time in that ring. Last time you and I went toe to toe, I told you that I didn’t care what happened, that I was coming to do battle and take whatever chance came my way. That all I cared about doing, was surviving and making you hurt right along with it. Nothing else mattered to me. It’s what I do, but I’m not doing that this time. I am not only coming to make you hurt or enjoy the fight.

I want to beat you.

I am coming to win this one.

Different.

I am walking into this match with a completely different focus that I ever have before. I don’t care about beating you up or causing you pain. Not this time. This time, my focus is on what I want, and that is to win. This one matters to me.

This is what I have been trying to tell you, to have you open your eyes and see that while you aren't the same Alias from months ago, neither am I the same Lycana.

And when I tell you I mean I will do anything... I mean that.

I did before.

But that Lycana of old? She set you on fire, and then left you to burn. She didn’t care about what happened to you. This new one? She will settle down to watch you cremate and make sure that the job is completely done. And then light you up and kill you again, just to make doubly sure that you are gone.

Metaphorically speaking of course, there will be no fire.

But there will be me.

And I am all the weapon and fire I need... even if it comes down to that very thing you seem to think I might lack the courage to do.

I might not be the same devious minx that I was when I first arrived, but I am infinitely more dangerous right now to you. Morals? I have them as pertaining to the rules we set forth, by my suggestion, but when it comes to just how far I would go to end this thing? There are no limits. You want it even blunter? Even if I have to fucking kill you with my own bare hands.

I told you Alias, out of that ring... I like you. Inside, if we aren't teaming or standing for something together? You are nothing to me.

It’s pretty easy to sit on the top of your mountain and look down and gloat at all the ones who try to make this climb.

After all, you have the Universe and the track record. You have almost everything you want right now, except for what I am going to push you into apparently.

It's easy to scorn me, when I don’t carry quite the merits you do.

I suppose though, if we look into things a little further, everything starts to shift just a little. See, I know there is a large number of losses on my record sheet. I don’t try to play it off, I accept them. But if you want to go in deeper. You used this very thing against Page...

Oh nooooo... Ly went back and watched me say things! Oh dear! Let me be sarcastic about it like it hasn’t come around to bite me in the ass already!

Ahem.

Anyway. Page tried to come at you that you both lost to me, and what did you reply back? That the one thing he cannot claim, is that Lycana never pinned him, because I never pinned you.

Truth... and we can say you have also never pinned me, despite claiming a win as well. Fact of the matter is, not many people have. For all the losses sitting in my records, compare that to the actual number of times that I was pinned, and you are going to see a real difference there. I just don’t bother to make a big deal out of it, a win a win, a loss a loss. Pin or not.

So yeah, you still have the better record while you sit up on high even if you take that into account, but it didn’t matter at Leap, and it's not going to matter now. So, you enjoy taking your easy pot shots up there.

It’s going to be even easier to see that you made a grave error in misjudging me when you go tumbling down the other side of that mountain.

Oh, and before anyone gasps and clutches their pearls that I would do such a thing to Marf... Go ahead and ask him about it. The man cared less about win loss records than I ever could claim. It never fazed him. That was the beauty in the Dissentients, we never really gave a shit and could say what we wanted about one another.

Also... he killed my friend. I'd say we aren't on the best terms right now.

You know, the game you tried to play with my reasonings with instant gratification, it was decent. I’ll give you that. But you glossed over the damn compliment in there. Again. What do you have with taking them Alias? I mean, for someone who mentioned that things have turned sour, you sure are turning a blind eye to all the praise I'm lavishing your way.

Couldn’t be on purpose, could it?

Nah. Not you!

I’ve been saying this entire time, that everything that makes you, you is why I picked you, over everybody else. You wanted to know why and I gave you a multitude of reasonings, that you decided to dissect... so I’m not the only one in science class over here. You couldn’t just accept it.

I tell you that you are standing at the top of the company.

You don’t see me Lycana.

I tell you that you being undefeated since me is impressive.

You don’t see me Lycana.

I tell you that you are the one with the target, because you are the one to beat.

You don’t see me Lycana.

I tell you that I plan to beat you because it would make my prior win, definitive.

You don’t see me Lycana.

I’m different!

Umm alright Alias. I acknowledged that a million times. AS AM I. What else would you like me to say?

Oh, sorry... I notice that you are now carrying the Universe, are definitely different, and are the person to beat around the company... so let's have a nice fight, but leading up to it all I’m going to do is talk about how much I’m going to lose this match instead of telling you the whys of how I am different too.

Sure. Silly me. At least I can keep that in mind for the future, right?

Oh, but wait, I said the dynamics had not changed in the way you speak of. But of course, you are going to try and say I agree with you on everything, so that I'm some sort of dumbass who has no idea what I'm talking about.

As I have to explain everything out to you.

Like you are the dumbass.

Funny thing, that.

What did I say after that Alias?

I named all the ways in which the dynamic had changed. Yours. Mine. Ours. You know, all the things you’re over there gloating that I agreed with you on this whole time...

Literally- there it is!- every point that you said, I named right there on the microphone. Every. Single. One. So, what did Lycana mean by saying they had not changed in the way you meant? Wait for it... wait for it...

Not like I haven't already said this to you.

But I'm the one not paying attention.

So, what the fuck do I know?

It meant exactly what the fuck I said while holding the fucking mic in my hand. I am different as well, but the ways that mattered that are important to our match are still present and accounted for in me, they HAVE NOT changed. I said this before Alias. I mentioned all the shit has that has stayed the same with me. “Never give up” ring a bell? Perhaps “do whatever it takes”? Hello? It was one of the very first things we talked about.

Or I talked.

You didn’t even listen.

I also said it wasn’t enough that you should count me out, but you know my feelings with how you are handling that one, already.

If you were paying attention that is.

Or maybe you are right, and I’m the one who doesn’t know what's going on.

Since I missed the part where I claimed to never use people’s words. Never mind that I just told you that I will, especially when they contradict one another. Never mind that I have been blabbering on and on about doing whatever it takes. Never mind that I never said that nobody does it. But okay, would me owning up to it, in a more effusive manner make you feel better?

Hey Alias, I used your words.

To talk to you.

About... your words.

And how they don’t fucking match up.

There.

I don’t have to pretend that I am anything more than I am. I’ve been the same fucking ray of sunshine in my approach to these promos for quite some time now. It’s nothing new that I have unleashed special for you. It’s not copying a play from anyone else’s book. It’s pure honesty, and how I view things. I go back and watch the tapes. I study. I learn. I find things that just don’t make sense and point them out. I’ve been doing it months Alias, what makes you cry mimicry?

Is it because I said I was going to approach you differently than the rest had?

I mean I did.

The others came at you with how you won the Universe.

I didn’t care.

The others came at you trying to lay shit at your door that made no sense.

I mocked them.

The others tried to talk you down, and make you out to be a nothing who got lucky.

I called them stupid.

I will admit to being a bit of a shit when I asked you about being nervous. But hey, we are having fun right? You can stand a little bit of ribbing coming your way too, surely? I mean, it's just that when you tend to start getting... flustered, shall we say, is that a better word? You start going here and there and all over the place. Everything changes with how you approach things. You are very readable that way Alias. That’s not a dig at you, just a mere observation. Whenever someone gets just a little too close to knowing you, you bolt. Not literally, heh... but you try to lead them on a merry chase, wanting them to bite at anything else other than the subject they had landed on.

See, honesty. Just like I approach everyone else. Despite you being... well, you. I said I was going to approach you differently than they had, not differently than I had anyone else.

But you go on and pirouette with everything.

Like I said you do but you think I said I wouldn’t do but I never said I wouldn’t do it even though Im not doing what you think it is I'm doing.

There was a little nudge in there, in case you missed it.

So where do we go from here?

You are pretty set that I don’t see you, in all your blazing glory and that I have no idea what I’m in for when I step in that ring.

Do you?

You think you do.

But you have never faced a Lycana that is focused on winning, that she is willing and able to do anything it takes to get it. Nobody has. Shit, I’m not even sure what is going to happen in that ring if I’m being honest with you. I’ve been in the ring with a version of you, that I acknowledged as feral. I was careful then, defensive, having to strike when and where I could. I can imagine that you will now be placing yourself in the more careful category, which means my watchful eye? Is going to have to pick up on even the most minute details. My ring awareness, had better be on point like it was last time. Do I know if I’m going to be the aggressor? No. Will I remain on the defense and dart in for the jugular when I see an opening? I have no fucking clue. Neither do you... because you haven’t been in the ring with this version of me.

And if we really want to get down and dirty, I don’t even fucking know if you were aware enough to learn the other one either.

And that one beat you.

And neither of us knows where the Universe is going to take us.

In anything.

Not in life, in our career, or even where it is going to take us tomorrow.

We could end up in Tahiti throwing cutlery at one another in a fancy resort. Maybe we will end up battling it out on a miniature iceberg floating somewhere by the South Pole. Maybe we can prance among the blue-footed boobies in the Galapagos.

Neither of us knows a damn thing about what is going to happen when we take this ride. And that includes who is going to win. You can assure me all you want, you can try and beat me over the head with all the words you want...and fuck we have used a lot of words... to tell me how you are better and different and that makes all the... well, difference.

But it doesn’t matter Alias... because it is like I have been saying all along.

What if.

What if it isn’t what you can take from the Universe, but what it gifts you?

What if the Universe decides it is time for you to go on a new journey without it?

What if the Universe decides that someone else is in need of it?

What if the Universe changes hands?

What if this Lycana, can pull off the upset and win... like the one of old?

There are no guarantees Alias, no matter how much you think there is for you. You were just as confident going into the last one, I don’t have to keep telling you how that turned out. There is just as good of a chance of this one going the same way.

Because we are both different.

Something that we agree on.

But all the damn ways we don’t.

Which I guess is the very epitome of the word, huh?

We can go back and forth forever with this, I think. And maybe we will, who the hell knows. What are the odds of us getting back in the ring together in the future? The great debate about differences can start anew much to the joy of everyone!

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

It actually does, to me.

Because then, we may very well be on opposite sides of the screen here, with you trying to figure out where the Universe wanted you to go, from its spot in my hands. Hey, what if it wanted you to lose to me, to learn humility and find yourself and then come back for a rematch to learn some more, since I am the one you learn so much from?

Does that include listening and learning from these promos too, because I’m gonna have to fail you on that.

Universe is gonna be pretty mad at you if that’s the case.

Of course, you can always be a late bloomer and snag ahold of what I was saying, then come back around and act like its new and fresh, like you did this time by saying I’m who made you who you are today... like I told you I did at Leap of Faith, but you said I didn’t. Ha!

Look at me Alias. I’m the one you had to lose to, to get to where you are.

But I’m just a stepping stone for you right?

Be careful looking down at me Alias... it’s a rather nasty fall from up there.

Especially when you lose to me again.

And you fail to see what is waiting for you after the loss.

Of course, that would just mean some more time chasing your tail until you find the right track right? Those moments where we met up with each other and nothing really happened? See Alias, when I beat you at Leap of Faith, and you did your phoenixing? There was a higher plane for you to obtain. You had the key, it was in your hands already. I just pushed you forward to unlock that door and take what was inside. You had the Universe waiting there as a safety net.

Now?

There is nowhere left for you to go should you lose.

There isn't someone waiting for you to come and grab something from them.

There is nothing for you to rise up and obtain.

There is no Universe waiting to cushion your fall.

There is nowhere but down.

Down the path I send you on.

Chasing your own tail until you figure out just where you can go, after living at the top and I have taken your place in the Universe.

Do you fucking see me now?


_____________________________________________________________________________

Let me lace up my boots
'Cause I'ma slay some giants




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