An eraser skitters across a chalkboard like a cockroach. The last message is erased.

“Okay. We’ve beaten the Greatest Tag Team in XWF History. That happened. It’s done.”

A stick of chalk taps impatiently onto a bottom lip.

“And now, because we lost a match that had nothing to do with wrestling and more to do with keeping a suicidal werewolf alive WHILE we had to kill a deathless vampire lord… I guess we’re over the hill?”

“Apparently, Mark Flynn. Even though we had to get on a shipping barge to Romania the same night we beat the Bastards, APEX seems to believe that’s proof we’re mediocre.”

“Even though we were wrestling while jet-lagged.”

“Barge-lagged, Mark Flynn.”

“We’re officially dead in the water, because we dropped a match against Betsy & Ly. The team that were deemed good enough to fight for the titles at the biggest Pay-Per-View of the year.”

"The team comprised of the current TV champion and the #1 contender for the Universal Title."

"Competing in a match that Jim couldn't get into with a fucking 24/7 Briefcase."

“Betsy Granger & Lycana... the only duo we’ve ever lost to in our history as a team.”

…

“Hey, could you google something for me, NK?”

“Absolutely, Mark Flynn.” NK whips out his Motorola Razr…

“What team did APEX lose to?”

NK’s thumbs quickly tap the keyboard on his 2003 flip phone. It chirps as the top result displays the truth.

“Steve Justice and Hanari Carnes.”

…

NK and Flynn both bust out laughing. The only thing that stops their glee at this irony is Flynn accidentally inhales a big cloud of chalk dust and starts hacking up a lung.

After everyone has calmed down, Flynn sighs in oxygen-based relief...

“All right, well, that talking point about us losing to Betsy & Ly is pretty dead. Considering APEX is responsible for BOTH the longest ever tag title reign AND giving the belts to the worst tag team champions in XWF history.”

“Yes, agreed, Mark Flynn. Jim Caedus’ single real talking point has been immediately disarmed.”

“Awesome. And what were Robert Main’s talking points?”

NK’s eyebrows raise.

“Something about APEX is the future and the future is APEX? How dominance dominates the indominant and mediocrity is mediocre? How on Earth should I know, Mark Flynn? He rambles like a lost elderly home resident trying to tell a Life Alert employee about how his grandson never calls anymore.”

Flynn laughs.

“Yeah, Rob definitely has a unique Grandpa Simpson vibe to his promos.”

“Robert Main is so dull, he makes Steve Davids’ promos look watchable.”

Flynn hikes up his tights up above his belly button to achieve that old man aesthetic.

“I used to be the Champion for belts that no longer exist! Now, back then, championship belts had pictures of bumblebees on them! Which was the style at the time!”

NK guffaws and retrieves from his pocket a pair of reading glasses, which he pretends to fumble, adjusting the spectacles onto his eyes…

“Now, back in my day, we didn’t have briefcases! The only way we could get universal title shots was to trade bags of onions down by the CRICK, Mark Flynn! It was the Depression Era you see!”

“As in the time that APEX was considered the best tag team. The most depressing era in XWF tag team history.”

“Leave it to Robert Main to say in 4800 words what a better speaker could say in ten.”

Flynn and NK bump fists. Flynn drops his tights back to his waist and NK gently returns his reading glasses to his pocket.

“All right. Let’s focus up. We need to answer the big question: What are APEX’s weaknesses?”

NK sits down at one of the desks in the classroom and raises his hand.

“Yes, you. The student in the front.”

“Their recruiting department will take anyone in? Even fucking Drew Archyle?”

Flynn guffaws, before covering his mouth and shaking his head.

“Okay, hold up on the roasts for a sec. We’re doing that bit where we actually strategize and plan against our opponents. Y’know? That thing that only we seem to do.”

“Gee, almost as if we were athletes preparing for an important event.”

“Okay, so… Jim and Robert.”

Flynn sketches their names on the board.

“Now, APEX is a diverse pair... of speakers. Jim talks like if he doesn’t say 120 words a minute, the bus he’s driving will explode.”

“And Robert Main speaks as if people enjoy hearing him talk.”

“Clearly, they’re both out-of-touch with reality.”

Flynn taps his nose, before writing under each’s name.

“However, their in-ring styles have a ton of overlap…”

Flynn writes out word-for-word Jim’s in-ring style…

Quote:A mental force of will that defies all obstacles... A level of biological toughness that has allowed Jim to survive anything... A temper can turn Jim from Cool to Crazy in a heartbeat

Then he does the same for Robert’s…

Quote:High endurance level... high pain threshhold, very hands on, Suplex master... Over-Aggressive

“As you can see, their whole shtick is… exactly the fuckin’ same. They’re both ‘highly durable’, ‘technical wrestlers’ with ‘mean streaks’ that can get ‘overly aggressive’. Pretty much the same guy. Except the first is voiced by Larry the Cable Guy and the second is voiced by a guy that took Prozac advertised by Larry the Cable Guy.”

NK’s brow scrunches thoughtfully.

“Indeed, Mark Flynn. They are very similar in the ring. And both very capable.”

Flynn shakes his head.

“That’s not the point, NK. Rob and Jim are solid SINGLES wrestlers. And they dominated the division for almost a calendar year, because of how good they are… at SINGLES wrestling.”

“But, Jim and Rob as a tag team play the exact same role in the ring. Which means they bring their strengths to the table, but without any variety to cover their weaknesses.”

It’s like putting two quarterbacks on the field. Or drafting a basketball team with five centers!”

NK nods, suddenly completely understanding!

“Or like WarGames Team, Dis-Continuum!”

NK springs out of his chair… Or he tries to, he kinda gets caught on that weird metal bit that you have to step over to sit down. Why is that even there?

But he eventually makes it to the chalkboard.

“Thaddeus Duke had a significant advantage going into WarGames. Not only did he win the Captain’s Match and have the edge in morale… He also had the chance to select 1st, 12th and 13th on the board. The best possible draft slots for any captain.”

“Exactly, NK. And Thad dropped the ball. He picked Dock, Chris Chaos and Andre Dixon. Three idiots that spent more time trashing each other and calling each other cannon fodder than developing a team strategy.”

NK shakes his head.

“But even more so, Mark Flynn! Thaddeus Duke drafted the same wrestling style thrice!”

NK draws three little cartoon faces, one for each non-Thad member of the team.

“DOCK is a desperate scrapper, resorting to biting, punching and kicking to break down more technical defenses. Andre Dixon is a self-described ‘thug’ focusing on UFC style strikes to create openings for his higher-impact moves…”

Flynn snaps his fingers, vibing on NK’s point.

“And Chris Chaos’ whole fighting background is football, boxing and UFC! Shit, you’re right, NK! Thad basically picked three brawling punchy guys that all played the exact same position on the field.”

“And despite the amount of talent in his corner, Team Thaddeus Duke not only failed in the first round, they lost by a margin of two whole men!”

“Because just like APEX, when you've grabbed duplicate tools, you’ve got no versatility in your tool kit.”

Flynn grins like he’s found the secret to turn straw into gold.

“Jim and Rob are bringing a bag full of hammers to a screw-turning contest. What a pair of buffoons.”

“They fail to see the vision of True Korea! They fail to shed their individuality and embrace their whole as a part of something greater: THE COLLECTIVE!”

Flynn rolls his eyes.

“All right, all right, bring it down a notch, Karl Marx. I see your point. We wrestle different, complementary styles. And Jim and Rob don’t.”

“Exactly so, Mark Flynn! You are a wrestling virtuoso and brilliant strategist, while I am a flawless athlete and a mental warfare master. We both circumvent the rules, but with different ethoses. We are effectively peanut butter and jelly.”

“And Jim and Rob are two handfuls of tapioca.”

Flynn taps his nose.

“So, we just need to come in with a game plan to abuse the hole in both of their games… and they’ll fall like dominos in a row.”

“And their weakness is, of course…?”

Flynn points the chalk towards NK.

NK blinks, one eye at a time, hesitant.

Flynn writes out one word in bud letters all the way across the board:

TEMPER.

“Jim and Rob are two short-fuses.”

“Yes, hence their ‘mean streaks’. Don’t make them angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry.”

“And yet, that’s exactly what we’re going to do!”

Flynn writes under temper words like ‘INFURIATE’, ‘ENRAGE’, ‘EXACERBATE’, and ‘TROLL’.

NK bites his lip.

“Mark Flynn, is this the best strategy?”

Flynn smiles like a madman who’s found sanity.

“This is the only viable strategy, NK! This IS the Optimal Path!”

“We’re going to wage asymmetrical mental warfare against APEX. They’re planning on coming in and putting on a show. They’ve said Bad Medicine is where they plan on establishing their new reign of dominance, blah blah, what Rob Main said, blah.”

“They don’t plan on just beating us. They plan on making an example of us! They want to look dominant and macho and STRONG at all costs! And we’re going to block them at every turn!”

Flynn draws a ring, and sketches arrows pointing out of it. He draws the ropes and arrows toward them.

“We’re going to create distance when they start rolling! We’re going to grab the ropes whenever they chain moves together… We’re going to do everything in our power to slam the brakes on their show whenever they try to get it off the ground.”

“And they’re going to get so fucking mad…. They’re going to start making little mistakes. Then, those little mistakes will compound into bigger ones… And that’s how we take down the mighty APEX. A sea of Unforced errors and flawless execution.”

Flynn writes a ‘Q.E.D.’ on the board. He’s actually breathing heavily. He’s so excited he’s found a plan, his heart is racing just thinking about it.

NK walks up beside Flynn, eyeballing his outlines thoughtfully.

“Now…”

Flynn looks NK in the eyes.

“This plan depends on you.”

NK’s eyebrow raises again.

"Me, Mark Flynn?"

“You know that thing you do where you’re a giant fucking asshole?”

“...I’d rather refer to it as ‘I wage psychological warfare’.”

“Yeah that… You’re gonna have to be that. But 125%.”

"You're going to annoy. You're going to provoke."

Flynn shakes his head, clearly not the most amped about this last part...

"And you're going to do the thing that pisses them off the most: You're going to cheat."

Flynn claps NK on the shoulder.

“Think you can pull it off?”

NK scoffs.

“Pull it off?”

…

He sneers with a sadistic glee.

“Mark Flynn. I was BORN for this.”

***
Several hours later, the chalkboard is full of plans. Diagrams of counter-moves to APEX’s offensive trademarks…

Thunder Kracker? Partner #1 trips one powerbomber, while the other powerbomber ends up in a hurricanrana from Partner #2…

Lightning Strike? Partner #1 Deadweight the Omega Suplex, while Partner #2 crotches Jim on the turnbuckle…

The Gallows? Partner #1 tilts backwards to throw off Omega’s weight, while Partner #2 runs interference on Jimmy, catching him mid-run with a chop block…

The plan to piss APEX off is in place.

Flynn and NK nod and fist bump.

“So, now, Mark Flynn? Is NOW the time to set our opponents ablaze verbally?”

Flynn clicks his tongue.

“I’ve been thinking, NK. The more pissed-off APEX is going into this match, the better off we’ll be.”

“Agreed, Mark Flynn.”

“So… What’s the best way to really grind the gears of a team like APEX? To be the tinfoil wrapped around their teeth? These motherfuckers are so in love with their own accomplishments, their legacy of accolades... They can’t stop fucking talking about how they're the most dominant tag team of all-time.”

“Haha, indeed. So… what do you suggest?”

Flynn cackles.

“We’re going to fucking deep-dive into APEX’s historic longest tag title reign.”

“And we’re going to make it clear that the emperors of XWF’s Tag Team Division.”

“Aren’t wearing any fucking clothes…”

***

An empty chair sits in a film studio. After a few moments, a man in a suit and tie walks from behind the camera and sits down…

It’s Mark Flynn. He looks somber and thoughtful. It’s clear that athletic achievement is one of the few things he takes seriously.

After a thoughtful moment, he looks up.

“Sometimes you look at a record set in a sport and you wonder how it was possible. How a human being dug deep enough to do something no one had ever done before.”

“The XWF has a number of such records…”

“The Brand’s Lifetime Record of 42 and 0.”

“Thaddeus Duke becoming XWF Universal Champion at the age of 21 years, 11 months, and 4 days.”

Flynn nods, then chews on his lip.

“Another XWF record that has stood for a number of years now is APEX’s Tag Team Title Reign of 241 days.”

“Some may ask, wow, how could a tag team hold onto their title belts for 241 days?”

“...”

“It’s pretty easy when everyone else sucks for 8 months.”





“APEX is one of the most celebrated stables in XWF History and its membership is very exclusive. Its personnel consists only of Jim Caedus, Robert Main and Drew Archyle…”



“And Ned Kaye. And James Raven. And Centurion.”





…

“And Momma Main. And Oliver Main. Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch. The Entire Population of Duluth, Minnesota. Every American currently addicted to meth.”



When we cut back from the graphics, we see Flynn with a number of charts and qualifications. He’s got on a pair of reading glasses.

“If you were hired by the XWF in 2019, you’re a member of APEX.”

Flynn stands up and taps on his knees.

“If your knees pop when you stand up sometimes, you’re a member of APEX.”

“For this documentary, I made a call to APEX HQ, headquartered out of the trailer park Robert Main calls his home to ask what the application process was like to join APEX.”

“The guy on the other end asked me, Are you NOT Chris Page?”

“I told him I was not…”

Flynn takes off his glasses and looks into the camera.

“And now I’M A MEMBER OF APEX.”

After this dramatic reveal, Flynn slips his reading glasses back on.

“Regardless, you can’t deny that the two most prominent members of APEX are… Jim Caedus and Robert Main.”

“Robert Main, who wrestles four matches a year nowadays, three of which are always against Chris Page…”

“Robert Main, who fucking should look up what ‘Omega’ means and learn it literally means ‘Last Fucking Place’. Which is just too fucking on the nose.”

“Robert Main, who hasn’t held a fucking title in this company for almost a year and a half, despite many, many opportunities…”

“And Jim Caedus.”

The film briefly cuts to a still image of NK’s smiling face.

“Before we do this… You know we love you, Jim Caedus. <3”

Right back to Flynn.

“Jim Caedus, who won a 24/7 briefcase and is still somehow third in line for the Universal Title.”

“Jim Caedus, apparently such ticket sales poison that XWF management REFUSED to let him challenge for the belt because they can’t afford to lose so many asses in seats.”

Suddenly, NK leans into the frame over Flynn’s shoulder.

“I made appearances in half of Comrade Alias’ promos this week. Which means I’m closer to the main event than fucking Jim Caedus.”

“Caedus, you want to talk about how we’re not over? You couldn’t draw water from a fucking well, Jimmy.”

“Jim Caedus, you couldn’t draw fans with a pencil and paper.”

“Jim, my boy, you couldn’t draw fucking breath without Main’s name above yours on the card.”

NK waves his hand up and down, blowing on the metaphorical flames off it.

“Salacious, Mark Flynn! Simply devastating!”

NK hops off camera. Flynn resumes his sportscasting character.

“But, despite how fucking awful these two losers are… They were just barely better than literally everyone else competing for the tag belts. Which… wasn’t many people in 2019.”

Chapter 1: Winning the Belts

“The XWF Tag Titles have long been a way to honor the greatest tag teams in the company.”

“Like when Robbie Bourbon and Scully became the champs by… finding the belts in the trash.”

“Of course, the XWF Tag Titles have always been legitimate. If they weren’t legit, why would Peter Gilmour be a 7-Time Tag Champ?”

Flynn’s eyes suddenly widen in horror.

“...Wait, don’t use th-”

Jump Cut to Flynn walking on at a basketball court.

“On the January 16th Warfare, APEX was vying for the Tag Team Championship, facing two-time Tag Champions, The Midnight Dolls, Jessamyn Hart and Vita Valentine.”

“Or Valenteen. However you say her name. The fucking vampire.”

“Vita Valentine, who also became a two-time Television champion, by losing the belts immediately twice in a row. And Jessamyn Hart, who when reached out to be interviewed for this documentary, tried to sell me ‘slightly soiled’ LuLaRoe leggings.”

We cut to a picture of the shit-stained Lula LaRoe leggings Jessamyn Hart is trying to hawk to anyone that will take them.

“So, Jessamyn Hart is awful and Vita can’t hold onto a belt for longer than two weeks. Of course, APEX, a semi-functional tag team, won the titles.”

“And now that a real tag team has the belts, that means real tag teams will rise up to combat them, right?”

Flynn pauses. Then shakes his head no.

Chapter 2: A Nazi and a Cult Leader

“The next time APEX would defend their belts would be March 31st at XWF March Madness.”

We cut to an old man in the interviewee chair. The placard under him reads ‘XWF Fan Whose Heyday was 2019’.

“You see, nowadays, you youngins expect a tag title match every month! Back in my day, back in 2019, we had a title match every three or four months and we were GRATEFUL! Those matches kept us warm in the winter months as we ate mud! And you better hope that you could work overtime at the child salt mines, otherwise you couldn’t put any salt on your mud!”

We cut back to Flynn.

“APEX, who before defending their title for the first time, had already held the title for 74 days… Were now facing NAZI and Eli James IV.”

“Now, to be clear, this was a viable opposing team... On paper. Eli James was a former Universal champ and NAZI…”

The screen suddenly shifts to an informational title card:

Quote:[The XWF in conjunction with ESPN would prefer to not say anything about NAZI. Rather than remove our content with NAZI, we want to acknowledge his harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together. XWF is committed to creating stories with inspirational and aspirational themes that reflect the rich diversity of the human experience around the globe, except nazis, cuz yeah, no.]

Back to Mark Flynn.

“Anyway, they would have been a very good first challenge for APEX…”

“...”

“If they remembered they were competing.”

“You have to remember it was 2019. Eli James was getting his new megachurch off the ground in Houston, selling copies of his book, Listen to Your Heart as Long as Your Heart Says What I Say. He had invested a lot of money into Kool-Aid which, we all know how that’s going to turn out.”

“And NAZI… had taken some time to pursue his new career as Trump’s Secretary of Fighting Indiana Jones.”

“So, APEX cruised to a victory over terrible opponents. But, there’s no reason to think that’s going to be a theme for their whole record-setting title run, right?”

Flynn pauses… Then rubs the bridge of his nose sighing.

Chapter 3: Snow and Rain

Suddenly, Flynn’s eyes go wide. He stands up and picks up the chair behind him, readying it for a swing.

“Oh fuck. Don’t make me talk about Snow and Rain. You can’t make me. I won’t d-”

We cut to a giant obese nerd wearing bifocals and a Sailor Moon t-shirt.

“Hello! I’m the world’s foremost expert on the former XWF Tag Team, Snow and Rain. I’ve seen every one of their matches and every one of their promos. And before you ask, yes, it is because of the incest.”

Cut to a man with a headset sitting in the chair. His title placard reads ‘XWF Production Assistant from 2019 (Currently in Therapy)’.

“Snow and Rain were a tag team that worked for the XWF. Because the CEO was going through a really weird time and we just decided to… not to talk about it.” He suddenly presses his face into his hands, weeping aloud. Someone goes to comfort him. He recoils. “Don’t fucking touch me right now.”

Right back to the nerd, who has switched into a t-shirt that just says ‘Hentai’.

“Snow and Rain were a delightful tandem. I personally was hoping they would dig deep against APEX and pull out the upset for the XWF Tag Titles.”

We cut back to Flynn who is clearly reading off a teleprompter so this fucking chapter will end.

“Unfortunately, they also forgot the match was happening and didn’t promote it.”

Cut to the nerd pervert, who is now shirtless. His chest is so pale, he’s almost translucent. Like a fucking tadpole.

“That’s a common misconception! Snow and Rain dropped a number of promos that cycle and I have them all saved on my computer.”

“They told a wonderful story where Snow tried to do laundry before the match and accidentally got stuck inside the washing machine and the only way Rain could get her out was with his pe-... You know what, I’ll just play it for you guys.”

He reaches down by his feet and retrieves his laptop out of his bag. Someone tries to stop him.

“No, no, I insist.”

Cut to the footage.

...

JK, we’re not fucking showing that.

But we do show the pervert sitting in the interviewee chair watching the clip on his laptop. He is heavily breathing and clearly very, very aroused. We can faintly make out the audio...

Quote:Snow: AH, BROTHER RAIN, I CAN’T SEEM TO GET OUT OF THIS WASHING MACHINE… WHAT… WHAT ARE YOU DOING? W-WAIT! BAKA! THAT’S NOT WHAT THE POWER CYCLE IS FOR… AHHH… AHHHHHHHH…

***AFTER THIS INTERVIEW, WE REPORTED THIS MAN TO THE FBI. HIS COMPUTER WAS FOUND TO BE LEGALLY HAUNTED AND SET ON FIRE***

Cut to Flynn, staring off in the middle distance. Thousand yard stare. Traumatized.

…

Flynn finally gasps back into this moment and his eyes find the camera. He has a single tear running down his face.

“Apex won the match and that’s all I want to say about it.”

Chapter 4: MDK and Bill Blakk

“So, it’s time for XWF Leap of Faith 2019. July 28th. APEX has been tag team champions for 195 days. They’ve defended the belts twice against two teams that probably shouldn’t have been competing at all. But Surely NOW, after the XWF had SIX AND A HALF MONTHS TO FIND A CONTENDER, they’ll actually face a team that will compete against them, right?”

Flynn takes another pause...

“These aren’t rhetorical questions, SOMEONE ANSWER ME!”

Cut to Flynn slightly calmer.

“MDK and Bill Blakk. Two men who in 2019 combined have a total of…” Flynn checks notes on his clipboard. “… 0 tag-team wins… and 0 singles wins...”

Flynn sighs.

“...Yeah, sure, give them a shot. On Pay Per View? Why not?”

“Bill Blakk was an XWF Legend in like… 1999? I don’t know, back when Centurion was relevant. So when XWF re-signed him to a contract, hopes were high. Then, he came back 120 pounds overweight and would come down to the ring with a cheeseburger in each hand. And the announce team had to be like ‘...Yeah! ...Bill Blakk!’.”

Quote:Steve Sayors: And here comes Bill Blakk! And he is… hungry for competition! He brought his trademark cheeseburgers to the ring, maybe this time he’ll give one to the audience… No. No, he’s trying to eat both at the same time. He’s a quarter of the way down the ramp… And he’s stopping, he’s getting winded. Looks like he’s taking a on-ramp cat nap, ladies and gents. The fans are pelting him with discarded food wrappers, perhaps that will stir him to action… No, now he’s just sucking the grease off the side of the bag. And I’m being told to cut to commercial.”

“And MDK… So, to his credit. For the first time in APEX’s title defense history, ONE of their opponents actually remembered the match was happening. One. And not until he was in the airport.”

“MDK cut a promo in the airport after his flight landed. It’s hard to take someone seriously about how they’re the future of the sport, when they’re standing in front of a Sunglass Hut, with a Cinnabun To-Go box in their hands.”

“MDK recorded that promo while his bags were still packed, because he was already out-the-door and ready to get fired by the XWF.”

“Which he was a month later.”

Chapter 5: Lux and Cent

“SO, HERE WE ARE. Day 229. Two days short of the tag-team championship all-time record… And zero good matches later. Finally, you think between Lux and Centurion… Wait, Centurion? Wasn’t he a member of APEX? We decided to investigate this possible conflict of interest!”

We cut to a man in glasses in a red sweater and slacks. He’s extraordinarily normal-looking.

“Hi! Yes, I’m Robert Danvers, I worked with the Fight Commission and Gaming Board. In 2019, we consulted with XWF to help find their opponents for Tag Team matches.”

Flynn sits across from Danvers, reading questions off an index card.

“We’ve noticed, APEX had three title defenses in about eight months, which was well below standard title defense schedules. Some may look back and ask why?”

Danvers clears his throat, awkwardly.

“Well…. It was very difficult to find tag-team opponents in 2019 that were in-shape, not incestuous and not already members of APEX. At the time, 85% of the XWF roster was a member of APEX. So, when we coordinated, brought in lawyers to look over fight contracts, we had to do background checks to verify that the attorneys weren’t members of APEX.”

Flynn nods sympathetically.

“That does sound difficult. Go on.”

“Anyway, when we pitched Lux & Centurion, someone had missed a background check on Cent, who fought with the rest of APEX at WarGames. We investigated the incident and it turned out our background specialist had to be sacked, he had become addicted to opiates. Which, of course, was a conflict of interest. Because that made him a member of APEX.”

Flynn shakes his head at the senseless folly of it all.

“It’s an epidemic in this country. 9.5 million Americans have a substance abuse disorder. And that means 9.5 million Americans are members of APEX.”

Cut to Flynn walking in a park as the camera follows him.

“So, APEX’s historic title reign has included three pairs where the team forgot the match was happening, and one match where both sides were APEX.”

He stops walking and shakes his head in disbelief.

“...And now we’re officially out of matches that APEX won as champions.”

Chapter 6: Oh My God, It’s Finally Over

“When a historic 8-month title reign ends… Even if the title defenses haven’t been memorable or even watchable… You hope that the moment the reign ends is a moment in-and-of-itself and people remember it as the changing of the guard and the start of a whole new era of Tag Team relevance.”

Flynn sucks his teeth dejectedly.

“Yeah...That doesn’t really happen, here.”

Flynn pulls up footage off the infamous APEX-Arm Collectors match where Apex’s historic reign ended.

Flynn pauses the clips just as Steve and Hanari lift their belts into the air, triumphing over APEX.

“I had so many questions after this match. Who the fuck is Steve Justice? What the fuck is a Hanari Carnes? What the fuck does ARM COLLECTORS mean?”

“These are questions that could have been answered if these people were tag champs longer than two weeks.”

“After 241 days, APEX loses the title to Steve Justice and Hanari Carnes. The only difference between these opponents and the last five is that Steve and Hanari owned a calendar and remembered to train for and promote the match. Once APEX faced opponents that didn’t show up disheveled and lost? They immediately dropped the belts.”

“...But not before enough time had passed that they were the longest reigning tag team champions of all-time.”

Flynn reaches into his pocket and retrieves…

A party streamer. He lifts it to his lips.



Flynn then rolls the party streamer back into his pocket. And twirls his finger in the air once.

Chapter 7: APEX Now

“APEX, this very month, is challenging for the current XWF Tag Titles. Held by two-time XWF World Champion and three-time tag champion Mark Flynn… and the undefeated-in-matches-where-you-don’t-have-to-save-a-suicidal-wolfman North Korean War Criminal.”

“APEX went on record to say that Flynn & NK were mediocre. And they beat Them No Good Bastards at their lowest point. And that they’ve only beaten one decent tag team.”

“...To which I reply: Beating one decent tag team is one more than APEX has done in four years.”

Flynn flips off the camera as the credits start rolling.

The scene fades to black.