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::KNOCK KNOCK::



"Yes, who is it?"


Through the closed door. "It's your Two O'Clock, doctor.


"One moment." Ditching a wooden paddle bearing air holes and fifty nails.


..........






Poking head in cautiously. "......Hello? There a reason it's so dark in here?"


Switching on the desk lamp creepily sexily. "Well hello...hmhmhmhmhmmmmm."


Second-guessing having closed the door. Uh...


Steepling fingers. "Have a seat, please. I've been waiting such a long time for this and now...you're all mine, Mister Rodwood Johnson. Mmmmm-"


"Jim."


"-yeeeeees, Mister Rodwood Johnson RIGHT here and ALL for m- Wait, what?" Frowning, snatching his planner and leafing through it. "Ah yes, here we are, a Mister Jim.........Ca- ...Caydis? Kydis? Seedus- What the hell kind of last name is this?


Taking a seat on the couch, incredulous. "Fuck you talkin' 'bout, it's me, Jim Caedus. We were both on Jim Ross's one-shot talkshow, For Whom the Bell's Palsy, last month."


"Not ringing any bells, sorry."


"Dude...you tried to serve me over character infringement on behalf 'a Godzilla. 'Member? And I was like, how are you a doctor and a lawyer too- Hold up, how the fuck are you a _THERAPIST_ now!?"


"I can be three things, fuck you, why can't I!?" Pressing a switch on his desk, illuminating a wall covered in degrees. "As you can see Mister Claudis-"


"Caedus."


"-I am a master of many trades. Surgeon, attorney and psychologist you now know but feast your eyes upon this splendor... Marine Biology, Astrobiology, Microbiology, Cryptobiology, Zoology, Entomology, Paleontology, Enology- that one's a keeper -Canadian Studies- hoser, sorey and eh about covers it -Cannabis Cultivation- natch -Philosophy, Psychic, Sea Captainry...need I go on?"


"Those last two ain't real."


"The hell they aren't, look it up! Now...remove your clothing and lie down please."


"What??"


Rolls his eyes. "It's standard procedure. I am a doctor, sir, a doctor."


"I don't give a fuck if you're Dr. Dre, I ain't takin' my clothes off.


"Is that a Freudian slip, Mister Cowdis?"


"Caedus. Is what a Freudian slip?"


"You alluded to there being a possibility you'd remove your clothing if I were.. this.. 'Dr. Dre'."


"We're s'posed to be discussing how I'm worryin' myself to death over all the ludicrous dipshittery I'm fully expecting those jag-off jingoistic G-men muppets Mark Flynn and NK to hit me and Bob-O with. Can we start the actual session now?"


Has opened his trusty shrink's notepad and begun writing. "Gay...for... How do you spell the Dre in Dr. Dre? Is it like Andre? I'm putting it like Andre."


"If I get billed for this I'ma hafta hurt you, y'know that right doc? Swear to god I'll fuck you silly."


Still writing. "Vio...lent...ho...mosexual...ten-den-cies-"


"HEY!!"


"Tem-per...ish...use...stem...ing...from......hyper...ho...mosexsh-"


"HETERO, hyper HETEROsexuality is where my temper issues stem from! My tesTOSTerone, I'm not gay. Not that there's anything at all wrong with bein' gay other than it makin' Nazis like Centurion's face melt like the Ark 'a the Covenant- 🤔......K, correction, there's _zero_ wrong with bein' gay, I just personally am not."


✍️ "......Gay."


🤦 "For fucksake."


Puts pen down and looks to Jim, interlacing his fingers on both hands. "Let's move on to your tendency towards cultural appropriation shall we?"


😠 "...What."


"Cultural appropriation, Mister Coitus."


"It's _CAE- 🤔...ok, Mr. Coitus is fine. But what the FUCK you MEAN 'cultural appropriation'!?


🤨 "You really want me to go there young man?"


"Scuse me?? I spent the first 29 years 'a my life livin' in Northwest Long Beach. Section 8 muthaFUCKA. I GREW UP in a culture _devoid_ of 'devoid of color', so please doc, DO go there."


Checking over his information. "It says here you went to school in Lakewood."


"Yeah? So??"


Looking over the rim of his glasses- oh, right, sorry, he's wearing glasses -at Jim. "And Lakewood is what, Mister Caldis?"


"_COITUS_!! I mean, _CAEDUS_!! Lakewood is a CITY next to Long Beach, so the fuck what!?"


"A city full of what Mister Gaydis!?"


😡 Standing. "GAYDIS!? THAT WAS ON PURPOSE AND _WAY_ TOO EASY!!! NAME-GAME D+!!!"


Also standing. "ANSWER THE QUESTION, A CITY FULL OF WHAT!?"


"THE FUCK YOU ASKIN' ME!?"


"LAKEWOOD IS A CITY. FULL. OF. WHAT!!"


"_WHITE PEOPLE_ DAMN YOU!! _WHITE PEOPLE_!!" Breaking down into tears as he falls to his knees.


Disgust. "That's right, Mister Caedus, white people." Jim is taken aback by the correct pronunciation. The doctor sits. "White people just like you. You spent the majority of your waking hours outside the Long Beach house over in Lakewood. You received just as much exposure to your own culture as you did any other. You CHOOSE to be the way you are."


Wiping his face rising back to the couch. "Yeah that's right, I choose to be this way. And I got my ass kicked by packs 'a skaters and skinheads in Lakewood alike for my choices...and guess what, doc? I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm proud of who I am. I chose a culture I more closely identify with because believe it or not asshole, THEY were who I spent most of my time with. They treated me like family. They taught me how to survive on the street. Taught me about loyalty and brotherhood. Taught me how to dance. Taught me-"


✍️ "Delu...sional......culture...a..ppro-priate...ing......cracker."


Throws hands up. "Out." Stands and storms over to the door.


"Yes I thought you would be, you Pretty Fly For A White Guy RAGE QUITTER! Send in my 2:15 please."


From outside the room, the door opens. "FUCK YOU!!"



Robert Main double-takes back at a raging Jim in the waiting room before fully entering and closing the door behind him. He turns to regard the smiling doctor as he makes his way over to the couch.


Talking under his breath… [/orange]” Dude is creepy af…”[/orange]


"Weeeeeeeeell, if it isn't Mister Robert "The Omega" Main, this IS an honor. Have a seat and remove your clothes."


Robert scratches the tip of his nose for a second then crosses his arms defense as he chuckles.


"Did you just ask me to take off my clothes?"


Chuckle. "Yes."


"Hell no my man."


"Yes."


"No way."


"Please??"


"When hell freezes over I still won't take my clothes off."


"...Fine."



Robert smiles believing he has the upper hand and holds direct eye contact with the therapist placing a cigar between his teeth. With a gentle flick of the wrist his fathers silver zippo flips open, Robert watches as the flame dances about before leaning in lighting a Cuban cigar.


"There's no smoking in my office young man, put out the cigar."


Robert gives the therapist a wink then draws in the creamy vanilla richness, then exhales as a hazy cloud. The smoke has a way of revealing the air, making an artistry of its swirls and flow spiralling upward in the now stagnant air.
.

"No."


"How- How dare you? Extinguish that now!"


Draw. "Make me." Exhale.


Without warning, a gooey tongue longer than the list of complaints on Custodian Nickles and Chaos's protruding clit put TOGETHER rockets forth from the doctor's open mouth, snags the lit cigar like a chameleon catching a cricket and zips back into the doc's waiting maw. He happily chews and swallows the whole damn thing.


Robert’s nostrils flared as he took a nip of bourbon from his flask. "Holy shit… You really do eat lit cigars. How'd you do that, hoss?" Another nip, emptied, slides empty flask back into pants pocket.


Gesturing to his wall of degrees. "Bottom right corner, Toadery, Stanford U. Now-" Crossing his legs, looking through his notes. "-what can you tell me about your tendency towards alcohol abuse?"


"What abuse?" Produces a rather masculine and substantially sized stick of chapstick from his biker jacket pocket, removes the cap, downs the shot of bourbon within and returns the Hide-a-Shot to his pocket. Robert points… ”Not sure what your talking about…”


"My mistake, tell me about your rampant alcoholism."


Stops unscrewing the top off the small flashlight on his keychain, slowly returns keys to his pocket. Robert shrugs...


"What rampant alcoholism? You’ve got the wrong guy, you sure you don’t have me confused with someone else?"


✍️ "L..iar…...mother……fucker."



Robert nervously fiddles with the AK-47 cartridge hanging from a chain around his neck, quickly unscrews the projectile tip, bullets the bourbon within and screws the tip back on.



Sets pen down. "Let's move on to your recent humiliation and how it's contributing to your rampant alcoholism."


He swallows. "What humiliation?"


"Your FAILURE to defeat THADDEUS DUKE you LOSER!!"



Robert is up like a shot and- ya know how in movies and stuff when a tough guy stands and mule kicks his chair out from behind him all cool like in anger? -Robert Main mule kicks the couch out from behind him all cool like in anger. His jaw clenches as he locks his knees standing his ground.



"What'd you call me!?"


Casually watching the couch conveniently sail into and through the very expensive and present for no reason whatsoever stained-glass window. "Oh you'll pay for your crimes against humanity, buster, don't you worry. And for your information mister waxy buildup, I called you a LOSER. Tell me-" Picks his pen back up, at the ready with the notepad. "-how does that make you feel?"


Robert is balling his fists in rage as he begins chewing on his bottom lip, his face as red as the balloon in the movie The Red Balloon. Ain't no frogs gonna stomp THIS balloon though. His breathing becomes heavy...


✍️ Looking back up. "Mhm...and how would you feel if I called you a LOSER and a WOMAN? But not just any woman, Robert, a woman suffering from SEVERE and HILARIOUS anisomastia!? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!"


Fucking. Fuming. "WHAT!? Wait. …...What?"


"Ani- anisomastia…"



Robert's eyes suddenly begin to dart around the room.


Clenching his jaw with a sigh. "Nevermind dammit... You're a- a LOSER and a WOMAN with a- oh, what would your low class, foul mouthed mongoloid partner say here-"


Outside the closed doors in the waiting room. "WHAT!?" Angrily pounding on the door for entry.


"Ah, yes, I've got it. YOU sir, Robert Main, are a LOSER and a WOMAN with an anus so thoroughly pulverized by young boys like Thaddeus Duke that it's surrendered ALL elasticity and hangs ajar like that of the mouth of a toothless old man!! Yes, that should about do it."


"Getting colder doc. ::yaaaaawn::"


"You are a worse sidekick than Thunder Knuckles."


Still outside the doors. "Oh SHIT! Don't listen to 'im Bob-O!! I'm YOUR sidekick, EVERYONE knows that!! I'MA KILL YOU FOR THAT, DOC, I'MA KILL YOU!!" More angry pounding for entry.



But it's too late...





















Positively drooling. "Mmmmmmmmmmyeeeeeeeees."


Crashing through the doors. "Bob-O, NO!!"


"The doors were unLOCKED you paTHETIC gen-X pop culture exploiting, shock comic copying, closet Talented Mister Ripley acting, hip hop culture appropriating, hack rapping opening act for Vanilla Ice, DWARF!!"


Steam literally blasts outward from an ultra-enraged Jim's ears, filling the office as The Monstrosity looks on beside him, the two of them soon enveloped within...and when the smoke finally clears…




























Growling, reverberant, monstrous voice. "Jim?? Is that you??"


Flamboyantly evil. "NO...I am the NEW and IMPROVED……..THE BEAST!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!! FUCK Chris Page!! HAHAHAHAHAH-"


"I don't like it. Too similar."


"I think it's glorious! Mmmmmmyeeeeeeees."


"Fuck you mean 'too similar'?? The Beast was all Maybelline and spiked leather, I'm a horrific mons-" Regarding own appearance. "Aw sh- GodDAMMIT, hold up- You NEVER saw this!!"



As The Monstrosity glances at the XWF drone camera, steam and smoke once more billow from a still enraged Jim Caedus...and THIS time when the smoke clears…



"MmmmmmmmmmmYEEEEEEESSS!!"





























Evil, reverberant, growling. "FUCK The Beast… I...AM...CAEDAEMON!!"


"NIIIIIIIICE!!" Evil hi-fives Jim.


"I've DONE IT! I'VE DONE IT!! I'm a GENIUS!! I've aWAKENED the KILLER CLOWN CAEDUS!! Buahahahahahahahaaaaa!! And NOW, Mark Flynn and North Korean War Criminal TRULY stand NO CHANCE!! Even as your normal top tier TITAN selves those two YELLOW BELLIED SWINDLERS would find cheating you out of victory a TALL order indeed...but with THESE terrifying forms at your disposal, they shall find themselves uneQUIVOCALLY at the mercy of APEX PREDATORS!!"



All three erupt with maniacal laughter.


The Monstrosity suddenly pauses as his phone sounds from his pocket. He pulls it free- as Caedaemon and the doctor cackle on -and checks the call ID.



Reverting back to Robert Main, answering his phone. "Y'ello?" Nudges Caedaemon who ceases cackling and quickly reverts back to Jim. "Oh hey Drew. Whose number is this? ………… Laser Tag? We're over here making some serious headway and you want to go play Laser Tag? What the hell for? ………… That sounds cute and all but Jim and I have the Tag Title match to prepare for hoss. ………….. That's a good point… Yeah, of course we can do it! We'll pick up Ollie and head on over. ….. No problem, what's the address? …… Give us about 5-10 here and we'll be on our way, brother. ….Later." Ends call.


"Bro...Laser tag? Now?"


"It's for a good cause, trust me. We're going to need to knock a shoot out on Flynn and NK and hit the road."


"Not so fast...now that I have the both of you in here in tandem, we may as well handle the couples therapy session. Mmmmmmyeeeeees."


Derisive laugh. "I'm sorry, 'couples therapy'? Not going to happen d-"


"I think what bothers me most about Bob-O is his lack of romantic attachment to ol' Jimmy here. I mean, in the beginning it was sunshine and gumdrops but once the honeymoon was over-"


"Jim."


"-it seems all I've gotten since is a half apathetic, half obligatory goin' through the motions-"


"JIM!"


Dropping the act. "Okaaay, okaaaaay. Beat it, doc, we need the room. Check'll be in the mail."


"Oh very well but we're going to RESCHEDULE… This isn't over...and you haven't seen the LAST of ME. Mwaha, hahahaha, hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa mmmmmmmyeeeeees."



The doctor takes his leave.




"XWF Training Videos: The Catch-22 and You"









Turning to the camera. ” You know the hilarious thing about this entire Tag Team Championship situation, Jim?’


“What's that, Bob-O? That Flynn and NK pissed away an entire promo one hundred percent dedicated NOT TO US, THEIR OPPONENTS, but to their sadly pointless task set forth by our very own government to investigate our very own promotion over the timestream, botches and the hypothetical use of 'The Beacon' to summon all manner 'a mandroid, mythological and magical creatures/entities to the roster simply because Flynn, NK and their demographic are ignorant to the truth: that the XWF Universe is labeled as such (Universe) due to the fact that it IS in fact the CENTER of our universe and exists as our personal galactic anus- or 'doorway' to the layman -granting entry into the _multiverse_ itself which is why crazy shit happens here on the daily? Oops. Spoiler alert. Sorry ladies...par for the course with the United States Government (they're on the payroll btw dummies; even Trump was once under contract with the XWF, where tf you been?), you've simply been sent on a snipe hunt meant to divert the attention of your 'collapsing under the weight of their own intelligence' niche audience away from the XWF's cosmic asshole so they don't rant about _it_ and all the inherent logic errors therein on Reddit. PERCEIVED logic errors like me just counterintuitively spillin' the beans about the whole thing but not to worry, men in black are being dispatched as we speak to do the MIB flashy thingy and erase the memories of all five 'a your fans. Which I'm pretty sure is actually code for a silenced shot to the dome.

... That's like, VERBATIM what you meant, huh Bob-O. Mostly the part about Flynn and NK shittin' the bed I'd wager."


Robert rolled his eyes in agreement…


”Yes but we’ll get to that later… That was idiotic in itself… But those bum ass bonehead Bastards had some interesting things to say hiding behind their keyboards on Twitter… Typical bitch made bull-shit by two underwhelming cowards. It’s all fun and games until the comedy act falls flat on its face and karma finds you. Funny isn’t it? What happens to a kingdom once its kings are deposed…? I mean hell; those two pussies compared me to Centurion, saying I was boring. I’d rather be called unentertaining than be called Thunder Knuckles or Bourbon any day of the week. Ladies that fifteen seconds of fame went crash and burn like the Hindenburg talk about fading away into obscurity. Listen you, two tough-talking pussies, this should have been you two jerkoffs, but you dropped the ball on the one-yard line… See, the two of you knew that path through the pay-per-view was Apex and pissed down your legs. Jim or I can’t help that; we also know that there is an excuse waiting on the other end of this as well. We can’t change the fact that you two are so frail minded. All we did was walk out on stage and stood there costing you the Tag Team Championships… But don’t either one of you worry about those two belts that look like they should be defended in a woman’s division someplace because they will be in fantastic hands after Bad Medicine. Once TK brings his incapacitated ass out of hiding, we can run it back and put this to bed once and for all.”


These days the slow burning war, the one that waged on in the XWF, sought to overrun Jim and Robert’s emotional drivers with stories that tugged at their heart strings, but also invoked fear at the same time. The heart was always their hook and the discomposure was the line tied to a concrete block and tossed into a river. The moment NKWC and Mark Flynn slayed TNGB the XWF tilted on its axis and the universe was reset for the first time in a long time. In that moment of rebirth there was a brief moment of balance... While these new dragon slayers meant well, they just didn’t understand the true concept of becoming Kings... From a distance they appear to be Champions, hell, they even sound like Champions. But like every other cheap imitation product, these two men are hollow, full of lies and leave a terrible taste in your mouth once you see them in the ring. Apex needs to protect the wrestling world and in doing so the XWF must evolve and there is only one path to this evolutionary reset. The extinction of our current Champions...


Jim leered down his nose at the drone following their every move.



“Yes, poor portly Pig Knuckles… Once too much of a flat-out coward to compete without his precious, musky man-crush protector in Bourbs by his side, now seems to have lost what little spine he had for even TAG competition after losin' two- count 'em, TWO -sets 'a tag straps and that winnin', shit-eating grin we all know and cringe. What a sad little rain cloud that once proud coattail-ridin' has become.

Keep barkin' bitch. Keep barkin' behind that fence safe from the Apex Predators. And if ya ever feel squirrelly, like Bob-O said, you want us, we ain't hard to find. We'll be the ones wearin' the Tag Team straps again." Claps Bob on the back in clear support.


Apex always understood that war was always going to be a bit problematic. Most men and women in the XWF just didn't want a skirmish.They were just here to float around while collecting a paycheck and get on television. Once the XWF dust begins to settle, the Gods of wrestling hurl a stone at the new hierarchy and believe me Apex is winding up… Robert Main and Jim Caedus are the meteor that is about to hit the Earth… Kaboom… Start again. Everyone rises only to fall in the end. War is coming over the horizon and for those who see it coming had better buckle up because this is going to be one hell of a bumpy ride once Apex seizes control once more there will be no turning back.


”That’s off our chests now, back to the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented and mediocre wrestlers known as the XWF Tag Team Champions Mark Flynn and NKWC. These two have allowed propaganda to be poured into their ears, led to believe that mediocrity is now excellence. That statement right there, gentlemen, is a misrepresentation of reality that could not be any further from the truth... Not to mention get one or both of you mutilated once that bell rings. Listen, I hate to break this to you guys and I'll try to let you down easy when I say this. Both of you are nothing more than placeholders in a division that has been unanimated for the better half of a year. I see the two of you holding those Championships over your shoulders, disgracing every Tag Team that came before you. It makes me sick. Teams that lived and breathed Tag Team wrestling made it a sight to behold. You two made it a total joke... There are a few different words that start running rampant through my mind when I see your faces... Transitional, interim, temporary, but the one that sticks out the most isn't a word; it is a term we use in the wrestling business... When someone is rickety... We call it being paper Champions boys. Because let's be honest, that's what you two are. Apex is going to walk out into the middle of that squared circle and be the same; hell-raising rebellious sons of bitches we have always been known for and dare you to do something about it. Once we get our hands on you two thin dicked politicians we are going to open up your necks, bleeding you two intermediate fools out slowly. Make no mistake about it, seconds after the closing bell you will quickly realize that you two are overmatched and in way over your heads… They don’t hand out water wings when you decide to jump into the deep end. After this match the only thing that you will have is shame, and you'll damn sure be hanging your heads in it realizing you were nothing more than two compromised sellouts used by the system as provisional Champions. The impromptu run will come to a screeching halt as quickly as it began."


Robert stared off in the distance as Jim began pacing, adjusting the Xtreme Championship draped over his shoulder every few steps…


"People like Jim and I are not intimidated, knowing that we are going to have to go into deep waters and tread while the sharks circle, that right there is what we strive for. That's the way a warrior becomes triumphant in his journey to the top of the mountain. We want the road less traveled and are willing to take it every single time. But let me make something crystal fucking clear, there are sharks and minnows in this world and ladies you two are not sharks. The sharks will come later on after we demoralize you… And just like in Jaws. We’ll blow those who challenge us right out of the fucking water. That mindset right there is what separates every member of Apex from every other unimaginative man or woman wrestling in an XWF ring today, no task is too daunting. Nothing... We stopped rationalizing our in-ring competence years ago, there is no longer indecision about who we are and what we are capable of. We've each established that point numerous times as we helped construct the XWF from a federation on life support to one flourishing today with new blood. This company isn't the same one you left years ago Mark, we demolished that old cesspool and rebuilt it on our backs, in our images. So, I'll be damned if someone like you suddenly emerges from the shadows and becomes an ambassador for this brand. That's for us and it starts by taking away those Tag Team Championships. We were built for longevity, not this flash in the pan bull shit you've been sporting. We are the undeniable buzzsaw of wrestling and refuse to give the world a little watered down assessments of ourselves. We push the pedal to the floor, with or without breaks. Apex is rising boys and aggressively moving down the path, shutting down all of the pathetic excuses and gunning for it one more time... What is 'it'?"


Robert raises an eyebrow as Jim stops dead in his tracks chuckling.


"I'll tell you, 'it' is the top of the mountain where we belong, calling the shots and holding the Championships of our forefathers. This business is one of the most brutal endurance tests that there is, constantly attacking us from all sides and I for one admire the shit out of that. In the ring you just can't call a timeout, there isn’t a coach to hold your hand and give you advice... No, you've got to be the person that is always equipped for war, ready and willing to take that next blow on the chin and earn it. In those moments of struggle you get to know just who you are as a person. Everyone believes that their admiration has to happen in a stadium or on a stage in front of a packed house. Our glory here in Apex happens when there are no Championships handed out, or pats on the back. When the coffee get’s cold because you are working your ass off... There isn't a participation medal handed out at the end for what we put ourselves through, either... Our superiority is born in the darkness of the early morning hours in complete solitude. Where we find ourselves demanding that we become something better than we were the day before. Better than what others around us thought we could be. Hell, better than even what we thought we could be. Apex claims our victories one day at a time through working hard and determination. That's why when you see any member of this brotherhood on the marquee, you can rest assured you'll be getting your money's worth and see us with our hands raised by the referee at the end. An inspired Apex is going to be bad for business for a lot of you pretenders."


In war it’s been said countless times... “To the victor go the spoils...” That idiomatic expression has been out of date for decades. In war the only thing that matters is the ammunitions and bombs, Apex not only manufactures these weapons of war, they gladly send them down range as well to hit their intended targets… Gold is a finite resource in the land of wrestling, a resource that Apex is about to start collecting all over the world… Some may call each member of Apex heroes in a world filled with villains. Jim and Robert see themselves as something of more value, they see teachable moments as teachers… The entire wrestling world knows who Apex is, they just don’t know when or where this unit of mercenaries will show their faces for collection. They’ll never see them coming.


"We understand that this journey isn't going to be straight forward and it might even take us outside of our comfort zones. But with great sacrifice comes even greater rewards. Becoming the greatest faction that has ever wrestled in this business is the primary goal, nothing else matters and we don't care how many teams' broken bodies we have to stack up along the way to gain this achievement. We've been saying it for months and as the grains of sand slipped through the hourglass ticking away no one has paid attention to our words, nor have they heeded our warnings. Once we procure the XWF Tag Team Championships against these two flunkies we are not finished with our mission. Thunder Pro Wrestling's Duo Championships will be the next keepsake that we acquire. And we will defend them against all opposition who has the intestinal fortitude to step forward. This isn't a challenge either people, this is a declaration of war from Apex upon the wrestling world. Many of you will come up with justifications to why you are not on the next level and that includes our opponents at Bad Medicine. Blaming everything underneath God's hot sun why Apex cannot be vanquished. We are and always have been at the top of the food chain and soon you'll realize that you're not on our level; or the level below us. Understanding your place in the pecking order will keep each and everyone of you healthy. We will become that little voice living in the shadows of your minds poisoning you while we live there rent free. You brittle minded individuals will never conquer us savages, this moment in time will forever be remembered as our comeback party. You people are going to see a group of animalistic barbarians obtain gold and never give an inch as we brutalize Mark Flynn and NK from pillar to post. There just isn’t any other way... Throughout our entire careers, there have been many men and women who have claimed they would put Apex down like a dog in the street. Here is the thing that most of these numbskulls can't seem to wrap their dim-witted minds around... One simplistic fact, Apex never dies."


Darkening expression. "That's right Rob; we dust death from our shoulders, reject rigor and piss on passin' on while peasant pissants pass us by on their way back to the bottom, droppin' like Icarus on wax wings... So many birds of oblivious feather rise and fall together, the ebb and flow 'a futility while one constant remains...


Apex.


Is.


Forever.


Ain't a damn thing been done to Apex since inception that's been capable 'a keepin' this clique down; not Bourbon and 'is Motherfuckers, not a brainless betrayal by yours truly, not a temporary dissolution, not Chris and Cataclysm, not the attempted murder 'a my main man The Omega Mainiac nor the birth 'a BoB itself...and Flynn and NK ain't got what it takes to stop us either.


Look at 'em Bob-O...off cowerin' in the corner they painted themselves into. I mean, we ain't stupid, we're fully aware Flynn and NK tragically believe the avenue they're takin' leads to a loss for Rob and I considerin' it worked for 'em before against the unproven and burnin' out alike. We know they're kickin' back fully aware 'a the fact they're out-classed, out-gunned and out-matched, nutlessly intending to unload with retorts by the knell 'a the deadline bell because they


FEAR APEX


and every which way we'd obliterate their bullshit claims and clap-backs. 'Not good enough' is the bread 'n butter they been buttfuckin' the competition over with for months now whether in hype or in the ring. Every which way but warrior.


Pathetic.


Dickless desperation ain't gonna be good enough this go-round, . Your pussy ass attempt to starve us outta ammo while we provide you with everything you THINK you need to suddenly man up by midnight tomorrow ain't gonna be seen as anything less than what it is: weakness.


Inability.


Overcompensation.


A half. Assed. Assault.


Half ass or not, Bob-O and I are gonna gape ya anyway.


For all the angles the two 'a you believe ya see, all the zany antics and hypothetical comedic crap with the timestream and Flynn's 'mental meltdown' over the mind-blowin' ramifications 'a shit no one else gives a fuck about 'cause we all seen Back to the Future...they remain apparently and alarmingly ignorant to a detail I've been observing as an ongoing plague upon names listed under Fifteen Minutes of Fame.


The curse.


The SOTM curse.


Bear with me here... Can anyone tell me what's happened to a slew 'a Stars of the Month since my return?


Money Oswald astounded the Universe with an amping up and unleashin' of quality content and competitiveness never before seen. Then he was awarded Star of the Month and ghost tanked his way the fuck back into irrelevance.


Dolly Waters. On fire. Awarded SOTM. Died.


Thaddeus Duke. On fire. Unstoppable. Awarded SOTM. Fizzled.


TNGB. Legendary. UNBEATABLE. Awarded SOTM. Crumbled.


Hey Flynn...who was next to claim the prize?


Why...bless my soul...it was you.


And WHAT happened? You and NK LOST to Lycana and Betsy...and they SUCK as a team bro. Shit don't stop there either...I ain't seen a single one 'a the names afflicted by the new SOTM curse (a curse really only those in APEX would be able to break upon receipt) thus far able to escape it's wrath...I mean, we'll see what happens between Thad and Corey- I'm prayin' mutual death match -but it ain't lookin' good is it.


This is OUR Universe, Flynn, NK, ours. The stars align for US in this bitch and it's the Universe itself hittin' ya with that inarguable harbinger 'a your demise right now.


You ain't strong enough to overpower us.


You ain't tough enough to outlast us.


You ain't smart enough to mind fuck us.


You ain't shady enough with the cheatin' and cheap tricks to eclipse us.


You ain't even funny enough to upstage us.


You.


Ain't.


Enough.


To beat us.


Period.


So remain spineless and make sure whatever the fuck you say in your third is somethin' seriously Shakespearean. It'll be what they slap on the obit for famous last words of a team that FLUKED it's way to gold before fallin' to the Apex Predators and winding up little more than hair, teeth and bone fragments found in our bowel movements after the match."



TO BE CONTINUED

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~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x 
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
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~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It


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