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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Bad Medicine 2021
XWF Training Films: The Timestream and You!
Author Message
Mark Flynn Offline
24/7 Briefcase Holders get their name in GOLD
The 24/7 Shot!



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
11-19-2021, 09:12 AM

The Story So Far...
And now… The story continues!


***
October 18th, 2021
Inside the KFC Yum! Center
Louisville, KY


Quote:[Image: 2lay7oi.png]

The image on the screen is in Black and White. A young man dressed with a buzzcut and a polo and jeans is playing with an XWF ring playset and a number of XWF action figures.

“HEY THERE, TIMMY!”

Timmy looks up into the camera surprised, then smiling and waving.

“I SEE YOU’RE PLAYING WITH YOUR XWF ACTION FIGURES! BE CAREFUL WITH THAT JORDAN KNOXVILLE ONE! HE’LL BE WORTH A LOT OF MONEY SOMEDAY!”

“Who the fuck is Jordan Knoxville?”

“I wrestled him once.”

“Was he any good?”

“He cut a promo in a graveyard.”

“Wow, so that’s a no.”

“SHHHHHHH!”

Flynn and NK look down at Maria, with a finger to her lips and… where’d she get a bowl of popcorn?

Quote:”YES, I CAN SEE YOU’RE A BIG FAN OF THE XWF, TIMMY!”

Timmy nods with his whole neck, still smiling.

“BUT HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW XWF PROGRAMS GET MADE?”

Timmy frowns and then strokes his chin. The camera shifts as little thought bubbles pop over his head… Thought bubbles with cartoon ring crew tying ring ropes, sound booth techs cuing songs, wrestlers lifting weights… And one furthest to the right with a little cartoon mad scientist digging up a graveyard.

“THERE ARE MANY PLANS, EXPENSES AND ARRANGEMENTS THAT GO INTO EVERY SINGLE XWF EVENT. AND IF EVEN ONE OF THEM GOES AWRY…”

In each thought bubble, something goes wrong. In the first, the ring ropes snap as they’re pulled taut. In the second, the sound booth operator is electrocuted. In the third, the wrestler’s bicep snaps mid-curl and he cries in pain. In the fourth, suddenly a police car arrives and the mad scientist skedaddles.

“THE ENTIRE SHOW CAN FALL APART BEFORE YOU EVER GET TO ENJOY THE FAST-PACED XWF EXCITEMENT.”

“Sorry, hang on, what’s the implication of that last thought bubble? Why is that guy digging up bodies?”

“SHHHHHHH!”

Quote:Timmy kicks a toy in his room, disappointed at the thought of missing a moment of XWF action.

“NOT TO WORRY, TIMMY! YOUR FRIENDS AT R.M. INDUSTRIES, LICENSING AND IMPROVING TECHNOLOGY FROM KAYE SCIENCES…”

“Oh fuck, RM was the name on the computer in th-”

“GUYS! C’MON! THIS IS A MOVIE THEATER!”

Flynn sighs, then leans into NK’s ear with a whisper.

“I’ll tell you later.”

Quote:“HAVE INNOVATED, AS ONLY AMERICAN CAPITALISTS CAN, TO GUARANTEE EACH XWF PROGRAM GOES OFF WITHOUT A HITCH AND IS PRODUCED ERROR-FREE.”

“NOW, FIRST QUESTION, TIMMY. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT XWF WRESTLERS DON’T BOTCH THEIR MOVES?”

Flynn whispers again...

“That’s fuckin’ bullshit. Ciela and Kai botched against us a month ago. And NK, you botch his fuckin’ Jackhammer EVERY TIME.”

“A Ridiculous Accusation, Mark Flynn! ...I perform my finishing maneuver exactly as I intend to.”

Quote:“NOW, PERHAPS YOU’VE SEEN IN OPENING MATCHES, WHEN LESS-IMPORTANT WRESTLERS ARE COMPETING, THE OCCASIONAL MISTAKE.”

“...Less important?”

Quote:“HOWEVER. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW INFREQUENT PERFORMANCE ERRORS OR ‘BOTCHES’ OCCUR IN XWF MAIN EVENTS? OR TITLE MATCHES? OR HIGH-STAKES MATCHES IN GENERAL?”

“OUR XWF SCIENTISTS DID THE CALCULATIONS AND THE AVERAGE WRESTLING SHOW CAN HAVE ANYWHERE BETWEEN 12 AND 88 BOTCHES…”

“NOW THAT MAY BE TOLERABLE WHEN RUNNING SHOWS OUT OF BINGO PARLORS AND HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUMS… BUT WHEN YOU’RE A GLOBALLY-BASED PUBLICLY-TRADED COMPANY LIKE THE XWF…”

“EACH MISTAKE CAN BRING DOWN THE STOCK VALUE OF $XWF, WHICH ROBS OUR SHAREHOLDERS OF THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY.”

“OBVIOUSLY, A SOLUTION HAD TO BE FOUND! AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT WAS STUMBLED ON ALMOST BY ACCIDENT!”

“What?”

Quote:[Image: KnWWDfd.png]

“THE YEAR WAS 2021! AND QUASI-PROFESSOR AND SEMI-MAD SCIENTIST NED KAYE, CONTRACTED BY THE XWF, MANAGED TO OPEN A PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION. WHERE THERE WAS NO XWF, AND INSTEAD A COMPANY CALLED THE FWX… A SILLY BAND OF OFF-SHOOT BIZARRO PEOPLE WITH VERY LITTLE TALENT.”

“ORIGINALLY, THIS PLAN WAS SEEN AS FINANCIALLY VIABLE. IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE THE BEST WRESTLING PRODUCT IN THE WORLD WAS A CHEAP JOKE AND THE TALENT POOL WAS TOPSY-TURVY AND TERRIBLE. NOW IMAGINE THE XWF SWOOPS IN AND STEALS AN ENTIRE PLANET OF WRESTLING FANS! THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE START OF XWF COLLECTING FANS ACROSS THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE.”




“UNFORTUNATELY, AROUND THE FORTY-FIVE MINUTE MARK OF THE SECOND EVER ANNUAL FWX PROGRAM, IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT THE FWX TOOK PLACE IN A UNIVERSE THAT DID NOT BELIEVE IN COMMERCE. THE TICKETS HAD BEEN GIVEN OUT FOR FREE AND ENTERTAINMENT WAS CREATED FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE WORLD.”



“OBVIOUSLY, THE XWF SCRAPPED THE PROJECT AND CANCELLED ALL PRODUCTION PAYMENTS TO KAYE SCIENCES UNTIL THE FWX EXPERIMENT COULD RE-ACHIEVE FINANCIAL VIABILITY.”

“KAYE SCIENCES LEFT THE EVENT FROZEN IN TIME… AND WE HAVE NOT HEARD FROM NED KAYE ABOUT THIS PROJECT SINCE THEN.”

“ENTER: RM INDUSTRIES! A SUBSIDIARY OWNED BY A MINORITY SHAREHOLDER OF THE XWF.”

“That’s gotta be Phone #1.”

Quote:“RM INDUSTRIES, WHILE EXPLORING THE FROZEN FWX EVENT FOR OTHER POTENTIAL REVENUE STREAMS, MADE A FASCINATING DISCOVERY!”

“NOT ONLY WAS THE AUDIENCE AND THE WRESTLERS FROZEN… BUT THE ENTIRE ARENA WAS LOCKED INTO ITS OWN POCKET OF SPACE AND TIME.”

“THE ENTIRE KFC YUM! CENTRE WITHIN THIS DIMENSION OF REALITY HAS REMAINED FROZEN ON THE DATE OF APRIL 1ST, 2021! AND UNTIL THE EVENT IS COMPLETED, IT SHALL NEVER NOT BE APRIL 1ST, 2021!”

“UPON MAKING THIS DISCOVERY, RM INDUSTRIES CAME UP WITH A TRULY GENIUS IDEA! MOVING ITS SECONDARY AND RESHOOT PRODUCTIONS TO TAKE PLACE AT THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION KFC YUM! CENTRE!”

“What? Why would you do that?”

Quote:“WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? LET’S EXPLORE A SCENARIO!”

“IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE AN XWF MATCH IS TAKING PLACE! THOUSANDS IN THE SEATS ENJOYING A PERFECTLY EXECUTED WRESTLING MATCH!”


The camera flips to the announce booth where Pip and Heather are calling the match.

“WE SEE OUR STALWART ANNOUNCE TEAM, HEATHER AND PIP, CALLING THE MATCH!”

The camera flips back to the ring where one wrestler leaps onto the other’s neck and twists backwards, launching him to the mat!

Heather: Now that was an Impressive Frankensteiner!

Suddenly, Pip wags his finger at Heather and Heather blushes.

“UH OH! HEATHER ACCIDENTALLY SAID ‘FRANKENSTEINER’ AND NOT ‘HURRICANRANA;… SURE, WE COULD LET THIS ERROR REMAIN ON THE BROADCAST…”

[Image: TD1L56x.jpg]

[Image: 5juV5DZ.png]

“NOT ON OUR WATCH, AMERICA!”

Heather bites her lip, nervous at the possibility of having doomed existence with a simple faux pas.

“NOT TO WORRY, HEATHER! THIS IS WHAT THE ‘BROADCAST DELAY™’ WAS BUILT TO HANDLE!”

We smash-cut to Heather being driven in a limo. We zoom out to a map of the United Status, as little animated limo drives from Hollywood, California to Louisville, Kentucky.

“YOU SEE, WE’VE CREATED A DOOR FROM LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY IN OUR DIMENSION OF SPACETIME… TO THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION’S LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY! WHERE IT IS CONSTANTLY APRIL 1ST, 2021!”

Heather steps out of the limo, and walks through the door. A little animated calendar in the corner that says ‘October 18th, 2021’ flips backwards to April.

“Wait… Does that calendar say... Today’s date?”

…Yes, It does.

“What the fu-”

Quote:Heather walks past a bunch of frozen people in the arena, to arrive safely at the exact executive suite that Flynn had broken into earlier today. She sits down at the computer and plugs in a microphone.

“NOW, HEATHER CAN, IN A RELAXING SAFE ENVIRONMENT, RECORD THE LINE AS IT WAS INTENDED. BOTCH, AND DISASTER, AVERTED!”

Heather leans into the mic.

Heather: Now that was an Impressive Hurricanrana!

Heather then ejects the mic and a USB drive from the computer.

“Okay, I think I understand.”

Flynn looks at NK, amazed.

“You do?!? CUZ THIS IS INSANE TO ME!”

“No, I perfectly comprehend, Mark Flynn. My only question is how would one then take the repaired footage and send it back to our dimension in the future?”

Quote:“NOW YOU MAY ASK, HOW WOULD ONE THEN TAKE THE REPAIRED FOOTAGE AND SEND IT BACK TO OUR DIMENSION IN THE FUTURE?”

“Ah, wonderful. They’re addressing it now.”

“....”

Quote:“QUITE SIMPLE! RM INDUSTRIES, THOSE CLEVER EGGHEADS, HAVE PERFECTED A MATERIAL CAPABLE OF CONSISTING ACROSS EVERY DIMENSION IN SPACETIME!”

Heather stands up with the USB drive and walks to the lever, the one Flynn pulled, that seemingly holds the entire FWX Dimension in their time prison.

She ignores it, however. And instead punches in a code in the little safe next to the lever that Flynn didn’t try.

The safe opens and Heather deposits the drive in the safe.

“SO WHILE HEATHER IS IN THE PARALLEL DIMENSION IN APRIL, RE-RECORDING HER FIXED LINES…”

The calendar pops back on the screen and flips forward to October.

The map of the United States zooms out of Louisville and back to Hollywood, where Heather is still blushing… Behind her, up in the booth at the live show, a sound tech reaches into a drawer… And pulls out the drive that Heather dropped off back in April.

“OUR XWF PRODUCTION TEAM ALREADY HAS THE FIXED LINE QUEUED UP AND READY TO GO!”

The sound tech delivers a thumbs up. As does Heather. As does the wrestler who hurricanrana’d the other guy. As does a sentient American flag with arms, holding two cartoon bags of money.

“YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICAN ECONOMY!”

“AND IT ISN’T JUST COMMENTARY… WHAT IF A MOVE ISN’T PERFORMED CORRECTLY?”


The camera zooms back to the ring, where the two wrestlers go for a suplex, then trip and stumble…

“NOT A PROBLEM!”

The camera flashes from Hollywood to Louisville. The two men walk into the executive suite. One of the two punches in the code and the safe opens…



...Then both men…

Crawl into the safe.

Flynn’s eyes open wide.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

His hands wrap around his temples. He’s freaking the fuck out.

Quote:“WITH THE POWER OF THE BROADCAST DELAY, NO BOTCH IS UNFIXABLE!”

The two men crawl out of the sound booth… But the scene is dark and empty. In the arena, we pan to a calendar on the wall that reads ‘April 1st, 2021’...

We then see the calendar rapidly flip to October 18th… Where the two wrestlers are dressing in the locker room for their big match.

Suddenly, from behind, a rag drops in front of one of their faces! Then the other! Their eyes quickly shut, and they go limp…

The two that knocked them out? Themselves! They stow their counterparts in a locker… Then go out and wrestle the match.

They nail the suplex spot. Then both deliver a thumbs up into the camera.

“AND AS THE XWF LEADS THE WRESTLING WORLD IN A NEW ERA OF CROSS-PROMOTIONAL EVENTS, SOME OF OUR SHAREHOLDERS MAY BE AFRAID THAT WE’LL HAVE TO PRIORITIZE WHICH PROMOTIONS TO WORK WITH, WHEN MULTIPLE EVENTS TAKE PLACE ON THE SAME NIGHT! BUT CLEARLY, THESE SHAREHOLDERS DON’T YET UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF THE BROADCAST DELAY!”

...The two men after the match, open the locker, and pick up their still-knocked out counterparts…

Then the four total copies of the two men, drive to Louisville again…

Then all four hop back in the safe.

We go to a cross-shot of the four different entities, now wrestling in different corners of the country… While the original two also still wrestle in the original event in the original timeline.

“THREE EVENTS ALL IN ONE NIGHT! ALL FEATURING THE BEST THAT THE XWF HAS TO OFFER! AND WE HAVEN’T EVEN FULLY TAPPED INTO THE POWER OF THE BROADCAST DELAY!”

“Ah! So, this is how Dolly Waters managed to appear on two shows in one night! The Broadcast Delay!”

NK elbows Flynn, while getting a handful of popcorn in the bowl he also somehow has now.

“How good a feeling it is to finally have this question answered! It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my mind.” NK smiles, exhaling with gleeful relief.

Flynn doesn’t react, because he’s too busy hyperventilating into his knees.

Quote:“NOW, SOME MAY ASK, WHY WOULD WE USE THIS TECHNOLOGY FOR OPTIMAL WRESTLING PRODUCTION, INSTEAD OF APPLYING THIS TECHNOLOGY TO OTHER FIELDS?”

Flynn stands up out of his chair.

“YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK?”

Maria looks up from her empty bowl of popcorn and goes to shush Flynn again.

“YOU COULD USE THIS TECHNOLOGY TO FUCKING… PREDICT EARTHQUAKES OR… PREVENT FUTURE CRIME… OR.... END WORLD HUNGER… FUCKIN’... I DON’T KNOW! BUT YOU’RE USING TO MAKE WRESTLING ON TELEVISION BETTER?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?”

Maria rolls her eyes and puts on a pair of headphones which are plugged into the wall.

Quote:“SOME MAY INSIST THAT THIS TECHNOLOGY WOULD BE BETTER SUITED FOR PREDICTING EARTHQUAKES OR PREVENTING FUTURE CRIME LIKE IN THE MOVIE MINORITY REPORT.”

“OR WORLD HUNGER.”

“How would the Broadcast Delay stop World Hunger, Mark Flynn?”

“FUCKIN’... I DON’T KNOW, MAN. BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD WHEN YOU HAVE TIME GOD POWERS.”

“The Broadcast Delay.”

“TO-MAY-TO TO-MAH-TO.”

Quote:“HOWEVER, THE XWF HAS AGREED, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH RM INDUSTRIES… THAT THE BROADCAST DELAY IS AN XWF TRADE SECRET. AND OPENING THIS TECHNOLOGY OUT TO THE WORLD MAY LIMIT OUR FUTURE REVENUE STREAMS IF COMPETING WRESTLING COMPANIES ATTEMPTED TO IMPLEMENT A SIMILAR PRODUCTION CYCLE!”

“...So, these motherfuckers are keeping this shit from the government and… the fuckin’ planet… so Wrestling Pepsi doesn’t steal out their formula for Wrestling Coke?”

“How very Western.”

“...NK, why are you handling this so well? This is a nightmare. I might actually be having a heart attack.”

Flynn beats his chest to try and calm his heart. NK raises an eyebrow.

“What’s the problem, Mark Flynn? This is all standard, disgusting, American capitalism to me.”

“I’ll tell you the problem! Our entire reality is subject to the whims of fuckin’ company storylines! Free will is an illusion! We can do all we can to fight these guys and they can undo it with goddamned TIME BULLSHIT!”

Quote:“HOWEVER! THE XWF HAS INSISTED ONE ASPECT OF PRODUCTION BE COMPLETELY UNAFFECTED BY BROADCAST DELAY!”

Flynn’s ears perk.

Quote:“OUR EVENTS!”

We see a montage of fans clapping and chanting. Big moves from big personalities. A highlight reel of the best stars of the XWF.

“OUR MATCHES! OUR SEGMENTS! OUR PROGRAMS! THEY REMAIN THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE XWF’S ONGOING SUCCESS STORY AND WE’D NEVER REVERT THE RESULTS OF A MATCH! WE PREFER EVERY UNDERDOG STORY, EVERY COMEBACK TALE, EVERY UNIQUE JOURNEY OF EVERY XWF SUPERSTAR… REMAIN LEGITIMATE... INSTEAD OF RESULTS GOING THROUGH A WRITER’S ROOM AND OUR VICTORS BEING PRE-SELECTED.”

“How very noble.”

“What a crock of shit.”

Quote:“IN ADDITION, OUR LEGAL TEAM DETERMINED THAT IF WE CHANGE LIVE MATCH RESULTS IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION, OUR ATTENDEES IN THE PRESENT DIMENSION MAY BE DUE LEGAL COMPENSATION AND HAVE RECOMMENDED WE AVOID SUCH CIRCUMSTANCE.”

“There we go.”

Quote:“THE BROADCAST DELAY IS A MIRACLE OF MODERN SCIENCE! BUT IT’S JUST ANOTHER WAY THE XWF WORKS EVERY DAY TO CREATE THE BEST POSSIBLE ENTERTAINMENT!”

We cut back to Timmy with his action figures, playing happily.

“FOR YOU!”

We cut to Timmy’s parents and sister coming into the room to also play with his toys.

“YOUR LOVED ONES! AND OF COURSE MOST IMPORTANTLY…”

We zoom out to the toy store, where XWF ring playsets are being fought over by children and adults alike… In front of a wall of American flags.

“THE SHAREHOLDERS.”

[Image: RrhcLQn.png]

Maria claps for the end of the movie, with a very similar clapping technique to how she clapped for NK’s dance earlier. She tries to remove and unplug her headphones while clapping and sort of ends up tangled. She refuses to let that keep her from applauding.

NK also claps.

Flynn strokes his chin, rapidly blinking as a well of information just flew at him like a rocket full of cheetahs.

“Okay. Fuck. Okay. So, at the very least, whatever happens at a show, it stays that way…”

“Yes, that’s what the film just said, Mark Flynn.”

Flynn thinks. Then sighs…

“So, that means… Even if we could figure the time thingy…”

“Broadcast Delay.”

“There’s no way we could use it to bring Larry back.”

NK squints.

“Larry? Mark Fl…”

Maria walks up the steps to rejoin Flynn and NK… And NK remembers their facade as the OTHER mixed-race XWF Tag Team.

“I mean, KYODAI… Who are you talking about? This is the second time you’ve referred to Larry.”

“Larry!” Flynn is angry, looking at NK like his confusion is a betrayal. “These fuckers not only killed Larry… But they locked his death into the fucking threads of time! FUCK, NK...”

NK shushes Flynn, but once again presses his hand to Flynn’s forehead to check him for a fever.

“...I’m beginning to become genuinely worried about your concussions… KYODAI.”

NK winks at Maria.

“Kyodai calls me NK sometimes, even though my name is RICKY GOLDHART.”

“Why? What is NK short for?”

...

NK clicks his lips.

“...North… Kanada. Where I’m from. Because I’m Canadian XWF Superstar Ricky Goldhart…”

“But Canada starts with…”

“Naturally, yes, of course… Kyodai spells it with a K… Because… Of a humorous story. A delightful anecdote! No time to tell it.”

Maria is confused. Then she suddenly laughs!

“Oh! Like an inside joke! I have those!”



“Well, I would have those if I had someone to be inside of a joke with.”

Maria corrects herself.

“Okay. I love the IDEA of inside jokes. I’ve considered many times what inside jokes I WOULD have...”

NK nods, pretending to agree with whatever Maria is blathering on about as Flynn continues muttering to himself.

NK takes Flynn’s face in his hands and gives him a couple smacks to try to get him back to this moment.

“Hey, c’mon.” He whispers, “Mark Flynn, what’s happening? Talk to me. Are you feeling well?”

For a moment, Flynn seems to blink himself back to the present. He’s… sweating from the forehead, but he makes eye contact with NK again. He tries to smile reassuringly.

“I’m fine, bud. You think one-half of the Tag Team Champions is gonna let some fuckin’ movie make him sick?”

NK’s face doesn’t relax. And Flynn can see that.

“...We’re the... Tag Team Champions, right?”

“Not currently, Mark Flynn.”

NK waves his hand in front of Flynn’s eyes. Flynn has no problem following it.

“Okay. Um....” NK thinks, before he smiles with an idea.

“Concussion test.”

NK holds up three in his right hand and two in his left.

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Five.”

“Good. Where are we?”

“Louisville, Kentucky.”

“Excellent! Who’s the Universal Champion?”

Flynn squints in confusion.

“...Uh.” He blinks rapidly. “What?”

“Who’s the Universal Champion?”

“...What the fuck is the Unversial Champion? Do you mean World Heavyweight Champion?”

Flynn rolls his eyes.

“Cuz that asshole Scorpio has the belt right now. Fuckin’ double cash-in bullshit at WarGames.”

...

“...What year is it?”

“Twenty… Uh… Twelve.”

NK can see in Flynn’s eyes he’s trying his hardest to answer these questions.

Flynn can see in NK’s fear that he’s getting them wrong.

“...Twenty… Fourteen? I’m the… X-Treme Champion?”

NK shakes his head.

Flynn dry-swallows. He seems to try and measure his breath… But he’s starting to struggle… Like a head bobbing above water. Just before he dips below to the bottom of the ocean. Forever.

“Um… NK?”

“Yes.”

“I think there’s something… really wrong. With this place. Or with me.”

NK continues to pat at Flynn’s forehead.

“You’re not feverish.”

Suddenly, Maria stops talking to herself about whatever.

“That’s not how you do that.”

Maria leans past NK and places her full palm against Flynn’s right temple. For the record, her hand is still covered in popcorn butter.

Flynn’s eye seems to go wonky at Maria’s application of pressure. His eyelids flicker…

Maria purses his lips thoughtfully. Then pulls her hand away. Flynn collapses back into the theatre seating.

“Yup. I’ve seen this before. Your friend has Time Displasia…” Maria says, licking butter and Flynn skin flecks off her fingers.

NK’s eyes widen. “Time Displasia?!?!”

“Your friend has been here in the past. Or the future. And the arena is trying to coalesce his identities. It’s a Classic Code 7220.”

”THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE!”

Maria scoffs.

“Yeah, cuz that movie’s for onboarding. We have a completely different movie for emergency scenarios and safety training! Oh, and it’s starring Ted Danson from Cheers! He did it for Community Service! It’s so good! Let’s watch it!”

Before Maria can run down to hit the wall panel again, Flynn moans in agony.

NK grabs her by the shoulder.

“So, you’re familiar with proper protocol in this circumstance?”

Maria… hesitates.

“...Um. Well. I’ve watched the safety training movie about six thousand times… But I’ve only ever done it to myself before… I’m worried it’ll be like putting a tie on someone else when you’ve only put what on yourself, y’know?”

NK nods thoughtfully…

“Hmm, yes, I can see how that would be awkward. Perhaps, there’s an alternative…”

Suddenly, Flynn’s head…



Pulpates.

And his right temple vibrates… Slowly expanding.

NK looks at Maria. And Maria looks at NK.

NK retrieves from his pocket his finger.

Which he points into a gun.

“On second thought... PUT THAT FUCKING TIME TIE ON MY PARTNER RIGHT NOW.”

Maria gasps… And slowly raises her hands.

To Be Continued…
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