LIVE FROM A LOVECRAFTIAN NIGHTMARE INNSMOUTH, NEW ENGLAND Rampage - vs - John Black Shadow over Innsmouth Match takes place in a ring within the town Lumberjack match but with hideous fish people surrounding the ring Vita Valenteen - vs - Charlie Nickles The Shunned House Match takes place in an abandoned home filled with deadly fungi Winner must be the first to leave the house before being succumbed to the mind-altering gas the fungus emits Marf © - vs - Betsy Granger The Rats in the Walls 15 Minute Time Limit Cage Match, Escape Only If the time limit is reached thousands of rats are dumped onto the competitors Alias © - vs - Bobby Bourbon Universal Rules The Color Out of Space Match takes place in a ring within the town At random intervals, a flash of light sends the competitors across time and space to different locations

I do not recall distinctly when it began, these visions of mutilation from a disturbing settlement within New England. Horrid premonitions of deformed monstrosities littering the simple streets of Innsmouth, a grim town filled with intrigue.

It... Drew me.

A fallen home to many being dragged down into the ever-sinking inky waters by cruel deities too horrid to describe, creatures made of twisted light from the deepest depths and the furthest starlight. Visage to make any sane man go mad.

Yet, like moths to the flame. They came.

To the small town of Innsmouth.

Drawn here to go insane from the same cruel visions that I suffered.

Men and women of great strength and raw power who were either brave or foolish enough to enter.

As I, they could not resist.

The Call

Of

S A V A G E

---

We go to a ring with a scarce and brave crowd cheering for the camera as rain beats down on them.

HHL: Hello everyone and welcome to a SpOOooooOOOky edition of Saturday Night Savage! We are live here-

PC: INNSMOUTH! Wherever the fuck that is! Goddamn wet hell hole!

HHL: Weather could be better but don't worry Pip as things are gonna heat up soon enough.

PC: It better, we got some bullshit with a haunted house with Charlie Nickles and Vita Valenteen. Who will survive!?

HHL: As well as NEW Television Champion, Marf making his first defence against Betsy Granger in a disgusting cage match which involves rats.

Heather shudders.

PC: Huh, wondered were all the rat droppings came from, really brightens up the place.

HHL: Oh hush, don't insult these welcoming fish-people who will be foaming at the mouth when they see Universal Champion, God-Killer, King-Slayer and the best of XWF Alias take on half of the greatest tag team we've had the pleasure to see as well as an accomplished singles wrestler, the one and only, Bobby Bourbon! In a Color from out of Space match!

PC: Gonna be one hell of a night! But first we go too Rampage and John Black in Shadow Over Innsmouth Lumberjack Match!

---

Rampage makes his way to the ring as his entrance music blares through the speakers. The giant man rolls his head around on his neck and cracks his knuckles as the hideous fish people surrounding the ring look on with sinister grins. Rampage steps into the ring and waits patiently for his opponent to come out and fight.

HHL: Rampage definitely has a size advantage tonight! The former TV champion might be twice the size of John Black!

PC: SIZE DOESN’T MATTER, HEATHER!





We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he standing there taking in the mixed reactions. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he gives the fish people some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.

HHL: John Black may be entering as a slight underdog tonight, but he’s used to being in that role! He knows how to fight scrappy.

PC: We’ll see if it’s enough to take down the big man tonight!

Rampage - vs - John Black Shadow over Innsmouth Match takes place in a ring within the town Lumberjack match but with hideous fish people surrounding the ring

The bell rings but John Black and Rampage are both too busy looking at the weird fish people in the audience to notice. The hideous monstrosities watch the pair back with eyes full of intrigue. Rampage has a slightly worried expression etched across his face, but John Black looks unbothered. The referee claps his hands and shouts at the two men to begin the fight.

HHL: Slow start for these two…

PC: Look, I wouldn’t want to wrestle in front of those weirdo catfish either.

HHL: Those are paying fans, Pip! They just want to see the show!

PC: Yeah, right….

John Black and Rampage stare each other down from across the ring. A few seconds go by before Rampage gestures for John Black to ‘bring it on’. JB happily obliges, charging straight at Rampage and locking up with the much bigger man! The momentum is initially on John’s side as he is able to push Rampage back against the ropes as he tries to work a headlock on the much larger man.

HHL: John Black with the first move!

PC: I’m not sure locking up is the strategy here!

HHL: John Black is a veteran in that ring, Pip! He knows what he is doing!

Rampage throws John Black back about ten feet. JB lands on his behind but quickly rolls through to his feet. Rampage just throws his head back and chuckles at the smaller man. John narrows his eyes as he squints with disdain at the former TV champion.

PC: I was right, Heather. I always am. That wasn’t the right tactic!

HHL: Just watch the match, Pip!

John Black cracks his knuckles a few times before him and Rampage begin circling each other. The hideous fish people in the audience watch on with bewilderment as the two mammals ritualistically walk around each other in the center of the squared circle. John Black makes the first move again and charges straight at Rampage, only to be met with a stiff fist that forces him to take a few steps back.

HHL: Rampage really rang his bell on that one!

PC: Now, it’s time for Rampage to follow it up and end this match early! He has JB right where he wants him!

Rampage smiles confidently as he approaches his much smaller opponent- but before Rampage can take his final steps, John Black gets low to the ground and rolls around Rampage’s feet!

PC: What’s JB doing here?!

JB grabs a hold of Rampage’s wrestling tights as he rolls behind him. JB knocks Rampage off of his feet before rolling him up with a handful of tights! The referee doesn’t see the tights holding, so he just drops to the ground and starts counting!

HHL: JOHN BLACK WITH THE ROLL-UP OUT OF NOWHERE!



1


















2













KICKOUT!

Rampage gets his shoulder up just in the nick of time! The fishy audience gasps- they can’t believe it!

HHL: Rampage almost lost right there!

PC: John Black is switching up his tactics, it’s a good move! Don’t fight the big man in a telephone booth, get low and get him on the ground!

John Black doesn’t waste any time arguing with the referee. Rampage is struggling to get himself back up to his feet quickly, giving John Black plenty of time to run towards the ropes and then bounce back towards Rampage at full speed! While Rampage is still kneeling JB sprints at him before kicking Rampage in the head with a running dropkick! The force of the kick sends Rampage reeling against the middle rope.

HHL: What a move by John Black!

JB takes a few moments to hype up the fish people crowd before bouncing back to the ropes. JB charges Rampage at full speed once more and delivers yet another running dropkick! The heel of JB’s boots slam right into the big man’s skull, splitting him open right between the eyes! Rampage drops off the ropes and begins rolling around the ring as John Black shoots right back up to his feet.

PC: He has Rampage hurt here, Heather!

HHL: I thought Rampage had JB right where he wanted him, Pip?

PC: Just watch the match!

John Black ‘raises the roof’ as he hypes up the crowd of squealing fish people. After he’s content with the hype levels of the crowd, JB crouches down and starts waiting for Rampage to rise. Some time goes by but eventually the bloodied Rampage pulls himself up to his feet with the help of the ropes. With blood dripping down his eyes Rampage can barely see anything in the ring, and he is stumbling around quite blindly. JB takes this perfect opportunity to kick Rampage in the gut before lifting him up high into position for a death valley driver!

HHL: I can’t believe John Black has lifted Rampage off his feet!

PC: I could have seen a lot of crazy things happening in this match, but I didn’t expect this! Rampage weighs as much as three men, and JB is lifting him like he’s made of feathers!

The crowd goes wild as blood drips down to the ground from Rampage’s face. John Black screams out bloody murder as he hits Rampage with his patented death valley driver finisher!

HHL: Rampage has been BLACKLISTED!

PC: Rampage is a tough son of a bitch, but I don’t know if he can kick out of that!

JB flips Rampage over and hooks the leg. The referee begins the count.

1










2








3

WINNER VIA PINFALL: JOHN BLACK

---

We open with a shot of…









Loud thunder that rumbles the ground is heard immediately followed by the skies lighting up with lightning bolts shooting down from the heavens striking various areas around the house.










”Hello?”


The voice of Charlie rings out from the first floor, echoing throughout the dimly lit house as we join him on the staircase leading upstairs to the second floor where he stops in his tracks.









He stares down the hallway with his eyes locked on Vita.


”I knew you’d come.”

Vita Valenteen - vs - Charlie Nickles The Shunned House Match takes place in an abandoned home filled with deadly fungi Winner must be the first to leave the house before being succumbed to the mind-altering gas the fungus emits

The staredown between the two from each end of the hallway closed doors on each side. Spiderwebs and dust linger with mold spores growing all over the walls and ceilings. Vita and Charlie start to walk towards each other like two gladiators ready to clash.


HHL: I don’t really know what to expect with this one. The rules are simple, escape the house.


As they meet in the center of the hall a huge mold spore bursts over their head sending mind-altering gas airborne unknown to Charlie and Vita as they start trading right hands in the hallway before Charlie gouges at the eyes. He takes Vita and hurls her through a closed door in the hallway busting it open as a horde of bats invades the hallway from the room.

Charlie follows Vita inside where he’s met with a boot in the midsection before having his head bounced off a wooden coffin on an elevated platform! Vita snatches a wooden chair before smashing it over the back of Nichols sending him down to one knee. Vita snatches Charlie by the hair where he hurls him through the drywall and into a second room!


PC: I’d expect this to be nothing more than an all-out fight while avoiding the dangerous gasses that fungus all over the place.


Vita makes her way through the large hole from Charlie’s body where snatches Charlie by the hair and takes him towards the door of this rundown game room. She sees a patch of fungi on the wall where she tries to rub Charlie’s face in it! Charlie puts on the brakes before turning the tables with elbows to the ribs!

Charlie takes control as he flings Vita over a pool table that literally collapses due to dry rot that rocks the old house while opening up more fungi spores as Charlie snatches a pool stick off the wall. He looks up to see the gas vapors hovering over the room. He cracks Vita in the ribs doubling her over as she stands up. He breaks the stick over her back before running towards the door in order to escape the mind-altering gas.

He exits the room and is back out in the hallway where he turns to the end of the hall that has the staircase downstairs where he sees Vita!


HHL: How the..


PC: What the…


Charlie double-checks the game room and Vita is not present. He looks back down the long hallway to where Vita was only to have her literally upon him choking him with both hands across the throat! Charlie feverishly starts throwing right hands to break her grip. He takes Vita down with a clothesline before taking notice of fungi pods pulsating around him! Charlie high tails it down the hallway where he reaches the steps only to be yanked backward by Vita!

She spins him around only to be body-slammed through the hallway floor where she’s sent crashing down with a loud thud to the first floor. Charlie walks overlooking down through the massive hole in the floor where Vita lays on the floor! Charlie throws up both arms doing his best Jimmy Snuka impression before leaping off the second floor with a Diving Elbow drop!

Vita rolls out of the way sending Charlie crashing through the first floor and down into the basement where he crashes through pallets and debris! Vita levatates down from the first floor to the basement.


HHL: Charlie might be broken in half!


PC: How are you NOT talking about Vita levatating down to the basement!?!?!


HHL: Because she’s a vampire, vampires are capable of all kinds of things.


Vita touches down on the basement floor where she takes a piece of a broken and jagged wood before leaping on Charlie’s chest where she tries to bludgen down into his chest cavity! Charlie catches the hands of Vita stopping her from killing him! He flips Vita off him before managing to get to his feet.

Charlie looks around to find that they are surround by a massive fungi hanging from the walls that surround him. He side steps Vita who lunges at him and takes her over with a hip toss. She starts to get up when she’s taken down with a swinging neckbreaker!

Charlie takes a piece of the broken pallet where he looks to drive it into Vita’s heart!

Valenteen rolls out of the way causing Charlie to jab the wood into the ground. Vita pops back up to her feet where she superkicks Charlie in the face! Vita takes notice of all the pulsating fungi in the basement.


PC: They’re both surrounding by fungi that could explode around them at any point. The gasses could alter their state of minds. One false move, anything could cause them to pop like a pimple.


Vita sets her eyes on a side exit in the basement.

She starts to make her way towards the door only to have Charlie hurl an empty crate smashing it across Vita’s back! Vita spins around where Charlie hits a Spear!


HHL: The pulsating of all that fungi is starting to get quicker, it’s like a heart beating.


Charlie takes a full mount on Vita where he hammers down with a series of right hands before starting to choke away at Vita while taking notice of his situation becoming even more dire! Charlie see’s the door as he gets off Vita and rushes towards the door.


POOF!


The basement is overcome with a mind-altering gas as the scene fades outside of the creepy run down house.

The basement door shatters from inside out as gas floods out from the door, seen walking through the gas is none other than…

WINNER VIA ESCAPE: VITA VALENTEEN

---

---

We see a Cage being lowered from the ceiling, very slowly, until it's eventually secured snuggly around the ring.


PC: "Well, folks, it's time for our first of TWO Championship Matches here tonight as Marf will defend his TV Title against the beautiful, the talented, Betsy Granger."

HHL: "Suck up all you want, she's never gonna go out with you!"

PC: "And how do YOU know that?!"

HHL: "Ohhhhhhh, just a feeling."




As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight on the top of the stage. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.

“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”

Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her, as she slaps hands with fans on both sides of the ramp. The chorus hits just as Betsy baseball slides into the ring.

“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”

As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and hops up onto every ring corner, pumping her fist and bobing her head in time with the song, getting the fans amped up for the upcoming bout. When she finishes playing up the fans, she starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout.


HHL: "What an opportunity Betsy has here tonight."

PC: "Yes, but will she be able to make the most of it?"




"Lights in the Sky" hits as the fans begin to boo. Marf makes his way out onto the stage with the TV Title, looking around at the audience and shaking his head in disgust.


PC: "No respect for our TV Champion, how pitiful!"


He marches to the ring while the crowd continues to boo and insult him. Marf rolls into the ring and goes to a corner, climbing up and then flipping off the crowd for more heat.


HHL: "Is this not pitiful, Pip?"

PC: "Absolutely not! The fans started it, he's just giving them a taste of their own medicine!"


The ref takes the TV Title from Marf and holds it up for a moment, before walking it over and handing it to the time keeper through the Cage door. After he takes it, a referee on the outside puts a lock on the door, prompting the one inside to call for the bell.

Marf © - vs - Betsy Granger The Rats in the Walls 15 Minute Time Limit Cage Match, Escape Only If the time limit is reached thousands of rats are dumped onto the competitors

PC: "And we are underway!"

HHL: "As per most TV Title Matches, this one will be contested with a 15 minute time limit; after which both competitors will be doused with thousands of rats!"

PC: "And who says Marf is a strange guy?"

15:00

Betsy and Marf meet in the center of the ring, where they lock-up for a moment, until Marf backs Granger into a corner. He innocently holds his arms up for a second, before taking a swing at his opponent. Luckily, the challenger ducks it, and traps Marf in the corner with a Foot Choke. She holds it for a bit, before taking hold of her opponent's hand and Irish Whipping him to the other side. Upon impact with the turnbuckles, Granger charges at Marf, who dips down and flips her up over his head. Betsy manages to adjust herself in mid-air, allowing her to land on the top turnbuckle, where she begins to scale the Cage!


PC: "Betsy's looking to end it already!"


With his opponent trying to escape, Marf follows her up to the top turnbuckle, where he manages to grab hold of her before she can make any real progress. Rather than fight it, Betsy willingly climbs back down to the top rope, where she exchanges shots with the TV Champion. After taking the first couple, Marf blocks a third blow and responds with a skull cracking Headbutt that stuns Granger. This allows him to bend Betsy over and put her head between his legs in preparation to finish her.


HHL: "He could be looking for The Sway off the top rope!"

PC: "If he hits this, he'll be able to skip his way out of the Cage!"


With the fans watching with anticipation, Marf leaps forward..................................... only for Betsy Granger to toss him off her, and down to the mat! With her opponent quick to his feet, rather than try to escape, Betsy dives at Marf and gets caught with a Powerslam for her trouble!!!!!!!


HHL: "The fans didn't like that!"

PC: "Well, they should! These fans don't give our TV Champion ANY respect!!!"


Marf tells the crowd to shove it, before reminding them who's Champion with a gesture around his waist.


HHL(sarcastically): "Gee, I wonder why they wouldn't respect him?"

PC(totally serious): "I know!"


[12:59]


Marf heads over to the side of the Cage and begins climbing, as Betsy Granger begins to stir. By the time his feet reach the top rope, Betsy's back on her's and heading in his direction. She grabs hold of his foot and tries to yank him down, but Marf refuses to budge. He uses his leg strength to fling her towards the Cage, but it doesn't do much to prevent the challenger from wrapping her arms around his ankle and holding on tight. He tries to do it again but, this time, Betsy holds her ground! This allows her to catch Marf off balance, causing him to fall down to the canvas, once again.


HHL: "This crowd is 100% behind Betsy Granger and it's easy to see why!"

PC: "One word- boobs!"


The sound of Heather smacking Pip can be heard clearly through their headsets as Marf goes to get up, only to be put back down with a beautiful Backflip Kick. With her opponent back on the ground, Betsy sits him up and locks in the Sugar Hold, driving her knee HARD into Marf's back as she locks in the Full Nelson.


HHL: "Looks like Betsy's trying to wear Marf down enough so she can escape the Cage without any sort of resistance."

PC: "That IS the whole point of an escape only Cage Match, Heather!"


Another slap can be heard as Marf slowly begins to work his way back to his feet, despite the fact he's still trapped in a Full Nelson. He forces them both to a vertical base, before bending down and tossing Betsy over his head. She's quick back to her feet, but Marf is quicker with a swift Clothesline that would've taken her head off, had she not ducked it! Granger then takes off for the side of the Cage, where she attempts to hurry her way to the top, only for Marf to stop her! He positions his head between Betsy's legs and walks away from the ropes, taking her with him in an Electric Chair. Before he can do anything, though, Granger shifts her body weight and attempts a Hurricanranna Driver........................................... only for Marf to stay on his feet and pull her back up!!!!! With his opponent back on his shoulders, Marf slams her down to the mat for a Powerbomb!!!!!!!!!


PC: "Marf just reversed the Plante de Visage into a Powerbomb!!!!!"

HHL: "Great strength, and awareness, from the TV Champion."

10:55

Rather than attempt an escape, Marf picks his opponent back up and sets up her up for a Vertical Suplex but, rather than grab her tights, he grabs hold of one of her legs, instead. He then hoists her up and brings her down with a Perfect Plex, bridging it for a moment before remembering he couldn't win that way.


HHL: "It looks like, in the heat of the moment, Marf forgot his own stipulation!"

PC: "Let's not act like this is the first time someone's done that, Heather; no need to shame him for it!"


Marf, annoyed by his mistake, grabs Betsy by the hair and drags her over to the side of the Cage. He attempts to slam her face into the steel structure, but Granger blocks it and shoves Marf's face into it, instead! She goes to follow it up with a Reverse Roundhouse, but Marf takes a step back to avoid it, before coming forward, wrapping his arms around her, and tossing her over his head with a Belly to Belly into the Cage!!!!!! Upon coming into contact with the chainlink fencing, Granger crashes down HARD onto the apron.

10:02

10:01

10:00

PC: "We just hit the five minute mark, and I don't expect it to go much longer after THAT Belly to Belly Suplex!"

HHL: "With the way Betsy landed on the apron, the hardest part of the ring, I think you might be right!"


A cocky Marf climbs through the ropes and joins Betsy out on the apron, where he uses her body to step up onto the Cage.


HHL: "Now he's just adding insult to injury!"

PC: "I know, I love it!"


The TV Champion begins scaling the Cage, looking down to ensure Betsy's not moving before continuing. Just as he turns his focus away from her, she slowly starts to use the ropes to help herself up.


PC: "Betsy's getting to her feet, but it may be too late!"

HHL: "It's gonna be close, that's for sure!"


Granger leans against the ropes for a moment until she sees how far along Marf is, prompting her to begin climbing, too. The TV Champion makes it to the top, where he swings one of his legs over to the other side as the crowd boos him. However, as he tries to get his other one over, as well, Betsy grabs onto it and holds him in place!


HHL: "Another second or two, and she would've been too late!"


Marf tries his best to Kick Betsy away, but she refuses to let go, using his leg to pull herself towards the top. She eventually makes it and straddles the top of the Cage like her opponent, with both of them grabbing hold of the other to prevent them from escaping.


HHL: "This is dangerous territory, Pip."

PC: "Yes but, if one of them falls to the outside, they'll be the TV Champion!"

HHL: "But at what cost?"

PC: "I'm not sure, never asked how much the belt was worth............. OW!!!! Will you stop hitting me?!"


Marf and Betsy exchange shots on top of the Cage, with each one being better than the last. After a good back and forth, Marf steps up onto the Cage and forces Betsy's head between his legs as everyone in attendance gasps.


PC: "Marf is about to commit murder!!!"


Before the TV Champion can hit The Sway off the Cage, Betsy Granger slips her head out and pops up onto his shoulders, where she tosses them both down into the ring with a deadly Hurricanranna Driver that leaves them lifeless on the canvas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:00

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"


PC: "Holy shit is right! Betsy damn near killed herself in an attempt to take MARF out!!!"

HHL: "We may not even HAVE a TV Champion after that Plante de Visage!"

PC: "Good point!"


The referee checks on both competitors, who show no sign of movement. They lay like this for quite a while, with nobody quite sure what to do.


PC: "In less than 7 minutes, their bodies are going to be covered in rats!"

HHL: "Well, they must not be dead, otherwise the ref would've stopped it."

PC: "Not necessarily, Heather, we've witnessed multiple murders inside of an XWF ring and not ONCE did they stop the match because of it!"

HHL: "......................God, I hate that you're right."


Finally, Betsy begins showing signs of life, rolling onto her stomach and crawling towards Marf's carcass. Once there, she struggles to grab hold of her opponent's legs in an attempt to lock in her patented Tuez les étoiles, but the TV Champion resists!


HHL: "I don't know HOW Marf is still fighting!"

PC: "Same way Betsy is, sheer determination!"

HHL: "This just shows you how much the Television Title means to both these competitors!"


Granger tries to pull back on Marf's head, but the current Champion refuses to give in! He keeps his chin down and uses the strength he has left to push them both up, off the mat. This catches Betsy off balance, causing her to lose grip of her opponent. Marf slowly rises to his feet, with Betsy holding onto his head for dear life, before getting turned around and picked up for a Backdrop that, once again, leaves them BOTH out on the mat!

5:16

5:15

PC: "I'll be surprised if either one of them makes it to their feet, this time."

HHL: "So will I."


It takes some time but, eventually, Marf begins to move. After quite a struggle, he somehow makes it to a vertical base as even the most hardcore of his critics can't help but show some respect. Being who he is, Marf just flips them off before dragging Betsy to her feet in position for The Sway. Before he can hit it, though, Betsy pushes them back into the ropes, where she grabs on and prevents him from pulling the move off. She then lets go and turns around, tossing Marf over her shoulders towards the Cage. Somehow, the TV Champion is able to shift his body in mid-air and grab hold of the fencing, allowing him to get a head start on escaping the steel structure!


PC: "Marf just countered Betsy's counter!"

HHL: "The challenger's in trouble; Marf's already halfway there!"


The TV Champion tries to climb some more, but the wear and tear of the match has him moving like a snail. Betsy sees this and tries to take advantage, using what's left in her tank to hurry up to his level as the fans cheer her on.


PC: "Now Betsy is, too!"

HHL: "These two are unreal!"


Rather than fight Marf, Granger climbs past him............................... only to get her leg grabbed onto! She kicks at her opponent with the other one, but it doesn't stop him from ascending a few more inches upwards, pastthe challenger!

3:57

3:56

PC: "It's a race to the top; who's going to get there first?!"


As Marf passes Betsy, he goes to kick her in the face, but she does it, causing him to nearly fall! This forces him to recollect himself, allowing Granger to make it all the way to the top!!!!!


HHL: "Just a little bit further!"

3:02

3:01

3:00

Marf recovers as Betsy begins to make her way to the other side. Before she can get too far, the TV Champion grabs a handful of hair and pulls her back up! As he drags her towards him, Marf sets up for The Sway, AGAIN!


PC: "Is this going to be the one?!?"


Before he can even wrap his arms around Betsy, she slips out and sets up for a Full Nelsob Facebuster!


HHL: "Nope!"


With her secondary Finisher locked in, Betsy dives off towards the announce table, sending herself AND Marf crashing through it!!!!!!!


PC: "Betsy just took out our announce table!"

HHL: "Neither one of them have touched the floor, yet!!!"


On her last few puffs of fumes, Betsy Granger rolls off the remnants of the announce table and onto the arena floor as the crowd goes wild!!!!!!

WINNER AND NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION: BETSY GRANGER

HHL: "Betsy did it!"

PC: "Poor Marf, poor announce table!!!"


A referee outside the ring brings the TV Title over to Betsy, who stumbles to her feet with the belt hoisted high above her head. She heads towards the barricade and leans into the fans, who happily embrace her.


PC: "Congrats to our new TV Champion, we'll be right back with the Main Event..................... and hopefully a new table, too!"

---

The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

As Warlord blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison:

*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*

HHL: Fish-people know what fun is at least!

PC: I'm pretty sure they're saying "feed" Heather.

No sound is heard, only the rain beating down on the cold street. Then, your vision blurs. In your haze you see a dark figure approach, it edges closer and closer reaching a wretched and twisted arm into the sky. When you wonder what the shadow is doing, as it pulls the clouds apart and rain bends at its will, terror fills your heart.

Then, as if it were just a dream.

Your vision becomes clear.

And you all see the Universal Champion, Alias, stood in the ring, his title aloft.

PC: Well I hated that!

HHL: Yeah not a fan.

Both competitors stare at one another from across the ring.

HHL: You can feel the tension between these two.

PC: You sure it's not the fish-people surrounding us?

HHL: ... Partially.

ding ding ding

Alias © - vs - Bobby Bourbon Universal Rules The Color Out of Space Match takes place in a ring within the town At random intervals, a flash of light sends the competitors across time and space to different locations

And the crowd roar as the bell sounds. The two take a step forward and begin to circle each other; Bobby takes a swipe first but Alias dodges under the bear-like grasp of Bourbon and drops to a knee going for a low blow but Bobby pushes a hand down, grabbing the champ's fist and pinning it to the ground before throwing a knee into Alias' face!

Bourbon doesn't relent grabbing Alias into a powerbomb and running him towards the corner before releasing him against the turnbuckles! Alias' back bounces off the pads and Bobby follows up with a big splash into the corner! Crushing Alias between a rock and a hard place.

HHL: Bobby showing he's no pushover taking early control here.

Bobby then grabs Alias and whips him across the ring and sends the champ into the opposite corner with a thud, Bourbon rushes the corner with a spear but Alias leaps up onto the top turnbuckle as Bobby crashes into the steel post. Bobby stumbles out clutching his shoulder and shows his back to Alias who jumps forth and drops Bobby with a flying bulldog! Alias keeps a hand on the back of Bobby's head as he twists around and shows Bourbon THE LOVE!

PC: Alias locking in his patented rear-naked choke this early in the match!?

HHL: Bourbon's showed he's a threat on his feet, fast with the power to back it up. Alias is just trying to slow the big guy down.

Bobby gasps for air as Alias keeps the hold locked in tight but Bourbon manages to get to his knees, pushing himself up with Alias on his back. Bourbon gingerly stands as Alias tries to choke the life out of The Bastard and Bobby jumps up and falls back giving a devasting and improvised Senton which releases Alias' grasp. Bobby plants his feet and leans heavily into the champ! The ref slides in for the count.


1






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2




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KICKOUT!

Alias thurst an arm forward and gets out from under Bourbon. The pair stand to their feet and Alias throws a forearm into Bobby's jaw but Bourbon retaliates with a mighty SHORYUKEN!!!

HHL: An uppercut that could rival Alias'!

Alias stumbles back, his legs going weak as he falls into the ropes. Bourbon builds a head full of steam and rushes for a huge clothesline but Alias shakes the cobwebs in time to counter and sends Bobby sailing over the top rope. Bourbon crashes onto the ground as a crowd of fish-people descends onto Bourbon in a frenzy. Alias looks at the crowd and to the opposing ropes before going into a run, he bounces off the ropes and sprints towards Bobby and flies through the ropes in a Suicide Dive!

But Alias hits nothing.

Instead, he slides across a dusty wooden floor now alone inside a disheveled room filled with fungus. Bobby is nowhere to be seen, Alias covers his mouth as spores pour from the fungus and he stumbles out of the room into a seemingly endless hallway; Alias' eyes scan the area as he slowly steps forward, taking slow, patient breaths. He stops as his foot leans onto a creaky floorboard and he hears pounding behind the walls to his right and the wall explodes into shredded, decaying wood as Bobby Bourbon bursts through the wall and grabs Alias by waist and neck as he barrels him into the wall. Bobby grabs a mighty hand around Alias' neck and lifts him up before sending a right into the champ's ribs over and over again. Alias struggles and lifts a leg high up and plants it into Bourbon's face and begins to push Bobby away; Bourbon growls and pulls Alias off the wall before slamming him down into the floorboards with a loud thud.

Followed by an imminent crack.

And the floor collapses under both men fall through onto the ground floor in a thick layer of dust and debris. Alias groans in the rubble as Bobby hacks and coughs a mere foot away. Bobby steps up first with a stumble and leans against the wall, his eye spotting an exposed pipe; Bobby pulls at the pipe, straining with all his might as he pulls the pipe apart and water spews from the break, inky water pouring heavily onto the floor. Bobby levels the pipe and heads towards Alias who crawls away. Bobby gets to Alias' back and throws the pipe down but Alias rolls out the way just in the nick of time and the pipe hits a large growth of fungus instead which sprays spores into Bobby's face. Bourbon coughs and stumbles back, dropping the pipe as he wafts the gas away. Bourbon begins to tremble as his pupils go wide, wildly looking around the hall. Alias, gets to his feet and glares at Bobby before taking a running start and jumping, planting two feet into Bobby's guts and sends him barreling out of a window!

Bobby screams as he falls and falls deeper and deeper into a black abyss which no light can escape. Down the long fall he sees a pair of intelligent eyes staring at him like prey and a warped, burned hand plucks him from his fall and a giant version of Alias dangles him over his mouth before letting him drop down his gullet.

Meanwhile, inside Alias stands back up, water slowly filling the hall and Bobby Bourbon's scream of horror grows louder as he falls back down to onto the pile of debris. Alias sees a prone Bourbon, a silent gasp leaving his mouth and takes advantage, rushing for the cover.

The house seemingly inhales and exhales a ghostly count.

ooOoone







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tWoooO







...







thhRRe---

The pin is stopped by Charlie Nickles!

Still trapped in the house and deranged from the fungus, Nickles laughs maniacally as he tackles Alias and pins him onto the ground, taking a rat and biting its head off as he hangs over Alias pouring rotten blood down on top of the champ. Alias squirms under Nickles as blood trickles onto his face but manages to get a knee forward and throws Charlie away. Alias pushes himself off the ground and sees Bourbon out the corner of his eye and is hit by a freight train of power behind a clothesline and the two fall into down the steps to the basement, hitting every step as they bowl down and land on the ground.

Almost broken they begin to stand at the same time and wobble looking at the mass of fungus around them.

Spores cloud the area.

...

With a fade, the scene shifts into a diner.











As we go to Bobby and Alias sat at a table. Bobby wearing a baseball tee with beautiful hair talking to Alias wearing a purple shit and large glasses, his wild hair showing a growing bald spot. Bobby leans in pointing at a hunched Alias.

"See that? To me, that button's in the worst possible spot. The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it!"

Alias looks down at his shirt.

"It's too high, it's in no man's land. You look like you live with your mother."

"Are you through?"

A dejected Alias replies. Bobby sighs.

"You do of course try on before you buy."

"Yes, it was purple. I liked it! I don't actually recall considering the buttons."

Alias grows visibly frustrated as Bobby mocks him, practicing his tight five seemingly.

"Oh, you don't recall."

Alias leans into a pen as if it were a mic.

"Er, n-no, not at this time."

The studio audience gives a laugh as a fish-person waitress walks over with a pot of coffee.

"Well, senator I'd just like to know what you knew and when you knew it."

The audience gives a small chuckle at the aged humor while the fish-person pours Bobby a cup of coffee.

"Glaaaaaaargh." Then goes to pour Alias one. "Gllluaaarrh"

Alias places a hand over his cup and goes to speak but notices his burned hand. He stares at it long and hard, a high-pitched whirr going on between his ears as he goes from his malformed hand and back to Bobby who glares at him with no emotion. A bead of sweat drops from Alias' brow as he looks between them, the whirr building into a deafening screech and when he can take no more he grabs the coffee pot and smashes into Bourbon's face!

Shards of glass explode as Bourbon's face turns a scolding red and begins to blister while he roars in agony. Alias leaps over the table and the two tumble down into the floor which ripples and disappears underneath. Falling deeper and deeper into the black abyss of the ocean. The two release from one another both back in their wrestling attire and scan their surroundings. The ocean surrounds them as if they were boxed in, with no way to surface and no seafloor to align them. A flow of bubbles leaves Alias' mouth as he holds his breath and Bourbon flails, holding his face briefly before looking to Alias.

Bourbon sneers and headbutts Alias! Blood flows upwards in a stream before dissolving. Bourbon gets a hand on Alias' should and pushes him down before throwing a right into the champ's jaw; Alias is sent sailing away and Bobby swims after him but Alias rakes his fingernails across the approaching Bourbon's eyes who lets out a stifled scream. Alias seizes his opportunity and places two fingers into Bobby's open maw!

But Bourbon bites down and Alias howls in agony ripping them away as Bobby's teeth take away skin. Bobby opens his eyes with slow blinks and gets Alias into a tight bear hug, crushing his lungs and forcing out the little air in Alias' lungs. The God-Slayer seizes in pain but desperately throws elbow after elbow down into Bourbon's skull who finally releases the grasp. Alias gulps water as he begins to swim upwards but Bobby grabs Alias' leg and pulls him back down to his level; the champ throws a grazing punch but Bobby returns the favor from before and goes to blind Alias! Gouging two thumbs into the champ's eyes who lets out more gargled screams as his lungs empty!

Then, appearing from the distance the water shifts as two great wings open. The earth rattles as two large orange eyes open and stares down at the pair. Flowing tentacles whip around the water and Bourbon gazes back at the eldritch horror in front of him, his grasp releasing slowly as Alias covers his eyes, throwing blind swipes in the water. Bourbon is frozen in horror as he looks at the creature. His mind decaying as he stares back, his mouth widening into a silent scream and his eyes bursting with light.






As this happens, Alias' sight finally returns he sees Bourbon in this horrid trance and dares not look back. Instead, he tastes victory.


__E A T____T H E____L E F T____ H A N D__


As Alias locks in the mandible claw, the light begins to slowly fade.

Alias slowly losing consciousness as water enters his lungs.

Yet he shows no signs of releasing Bourbon whose limbs begin to fall.

Alias' feet hit solid ground.

And Bourbon slowly falls as his eyes close.

*ding ding ding*

The crowd cheer as the bell sounds, Alias releases The Bastard and he falls onto the mat. The eater of worlds falls back, looking at the ring and the roaring crowd in abstract horror.

WINNER AND STILL UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: ALIAS

HHL: What a match! I mean we couldn't see them for maybe 20 minutes but still!

PC: Great win for Alias, maybe, again we have no idea where they vanished to.

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Thank you to those who helped write matches and sent in segments Charlie Nickles Big D Chris Page H.P Lovecraft And everyone who RPed

Do you have a light?


(Banner courtesy of Atara Themis)