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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! RP Board
After-school Specials, Pre-Match Planning and... What's That Sound...?
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NorthKoreanWarCriminal Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
10-26-2021, 08:18 AM

Steam rises from the pot at the room’s center…

Unfortunately, living in an abandoned shack meant no heat or running water… And, disappointing to NK, this hut didn’t have Wi-Fi.

Still, Mister Talbot had saved enough rainwater and gathered enough dry twigs to start a small fire… He offered to cook stew for his guests… Before NK commandeered the pot and insisted on brewing Central Command’s Hot Cocoa mix.

The three each sip from chipped mugs.

Flynn and NK sat side-by-side on an overturned wardrobe. Mister Talbot insisted he’d sit on the floor.

Flynn stared off into space, tapping his foot. NK set his mug down at his side and leaned toward their host.

“Mister Talbot.”

“...Call me Lawrence.”

NK grins, delighted at this invitation to adopt informal honorifics.

“Ah! Lawrence Talbot, You may call me NK!”

“Just Lawrence...”

NK sets one hand on his knee, striking a pose he’d seen once in a Central Command diagram about informal American sitting methodologies.

“Tell us your story, Lawrence Talbot. You have our full focus.” NK elbows Flynn. Flynn doesn’t react at all.

Lawrence gulps skittishly.

“...When the moon is full… I change...”

Lawrence’s jaw clenches in fear.

“I hurt people. Really badly. I don’t remember the attacks, but when I awaken… I’m covered in blood…”

Lawrence’s stomach growls. His face seizes in fear.

“Before I transform… I’m so hungry… And I wake up… full…”

“I shouldn’t live… I’m a monster...”


Before Lawrence can continue, NK stands up off the wardrobe and grabs a wooden chair.

NK sits the chair down backwards, facing away from Talbot. Then, flawlessly, NK weaves his legs to sit backwards on the chair like the hippest adult who ever starred in an afterschool special.

“Lawrence Talbot, suicide isn’t the answer.”

“...It’s not?”

“No, Lawrence Talbot. I’m certain people here care about you…”

Talbot shakes his head, terrified.

“The villagers want me dead. Almost as much as I do… The mob comes before every full moon to set my shack on fire… They stab me with silver… They shoot me… They tear me apart alive… It’s awful...”

“Even worse… In the full moon’s light… I return… and transform. And the cycle repeats again...”


NK strokes his chin.

“If you are unkillable... Why ask us to kill you?”

Talbot scratches his throat.

“Weeks ago, men-in-suits from the XWF said they'd help me. I signed a contract… They promised it’d be taken care of. When you two showed up… I thought you’d…”

Talbot swallows.

“Y’know… TAKE CARE OF IT….”

NK scrunches his brow.

“Oh. Awkward.”

NK carefully steps out of his backward seating... He taps Flynn on the shoulder.

Flynn yanks out his AirPods. This whole time, he’d been listening to ‘Werewolves in London’.

“Done with his backstory?”

“Lawrence Talbot has asked th-…”

“Great.”

Flynn walks to the nearest wall and slips out a sharpie from the front of his tights. He scribbles…

NK is horrified. “MARK FLYNN! WE ARE GUESTS!”

NK smiles at Talbot.

“Lawrence Talbot, may Mark Flynn plan our victory on your wall?”

Talbot tilts his head perplexed. Flynn’s already making a bulleted list.

“We’re facing Betsy Granger...”

Flynn writes on the board ‘Martina McFly’...

“Lycana…”

...‘She-Bitch’.

“And Count Dracula.”

…‘The One-Percent’.

“On paper, we’re underdogs. Two humans and a werewolf versus a time traveler, a werewolf and a vampire.”

“BUT! I have a few ideas to even the score… So, Larry...”


“...I prefer Lawrence.”

“Larry.”

Flynn draws ‘PLAN A’...

“How open are you to biting us? If we had a 3-on-1 werewolf advantage...”

Talbot covers his mouth, horrified.

“NO! PLEASE! MY CURSE MUST END WITH ME!”

“Hard pass, Mark Flynn.”

Flynn squeezes his temples with his index and thumb.

“Okay...”

Flynn draws ‘PLAN B’...

“Operation Who-Let-The-Dogs-Out… An Ambush the night before! We stake the vamp in his coffin snoozing! Betsy & Ly can’t compete if Drac is already dead!”

Talbot is disgusted.

“I could never hurt another soul! I’m a pacifist!”



NK and Flynn slowly look over at their tag-team partner...

“Pardon, Fido?”

Larry’s eyes well up.

“I’m a PACIFIST... I don’t WANT to hurt ANYONE.”

Flynn takes a deep breath.

“Do you want to die, Larry? Cuz if we lose, y-”

“Yes.”

Flynn’s eyebrow twitches.

“What?”

“I want to die. Will this... ‘Martina McFly’ and ‘She-Bitch’ finally kill me…?”

NK taps his partner’s shoulder… “Mark Flynn, the first thing Lawrence Talbot asked was that we kill him...”

Flynn squeezes his temples in disbelief.

“We’re in a match where we lose if our partner dies… AND OUR PARTNER IS A SUICIDAL PACIFIST?!?!”

***
Several Minutes Later…


“So, Plan C…”

Flynn has drawn a cartoon safe.

“We lock Larry in a metal safe and wheel him to the ring in a big wagon… Motion for Plan C, show of hands?”

Flynn raises his hand. Talbot shakes his head, but he’s wrapped in chains, mouth gagged. NK is silent.

“Motion passes.” Flynn circles Plan C.

NK walks to Flynn.

“Mark Flynn.”

“It’s the safe move, NK… (Pun unintended). I don’t want My-Chemical-Romance over here offing himself and losing our match. I’m not losing to Betsy Granger. Who do you think I am, Bobby Bourbon? The OCW roster? That’s the entire list of people Betsy beat in the last half-year.”

NK shakes his head.

“I’m aware, Mark Flynn. And I plan to avenge my genitalia for the many times Lycana saw fit as X-Treme champion to punt my nethards.”

“Y’know, some guys pay big bucks for that…”

“I only argue… Perhaps we might... re-educate Lawrence Talbot? If we fight alone, we fight two-on-three. Could battling under such a handicap… truly be the OPTIMAL path?”

Flynn looks NK square-in-the-eye.



“I love you’re considering the Optimal Path, NK. But it’s too risky. Larry’s not amenable to our sty-”

Suddenly, what little glass left in the window shatters…

A flaming rag in a bottle lands at NK and Flynn’s feet…

And all three hear clearly furious, amplifying voices outside Talbot’s hut…

“...Ah, yes. Mister Talbot also mentioned...”

“An angry mob.”

[Image: oZtyqya.jpg]
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[-] The following 7 users Like NorthKoreanWarCriminal's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (10-26-2021), Charlie Nickles (10-26-2021), HeavensToBetsy (10-27-2021), JimCaedus (10-26-2021), Lycana (10-26-2021), Marf (10-26-2021), Theo Pryce (10-28-2021)




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