I can take the heat
Go on and throw your shade
You think that you’re the only one who’s ever taken aim
I fight like a machine
I’ve never been afraid
Keep throwing your grenades and I’ll say
Bombs away

___________________________________________________________________________________




Her head was spinning as if she were on a runaway carousel as the hazy, faint, first stages of consciousness began to creep up on her. She feels bile rising in her throat as she becomes aware of the slight bumping her body was taking, the motion threatening to cause her breakfast to make a very unwanted reappearance. As she starts to come to more, more unwanted aches make their presence known. A mild throb on her forehead from when she had quite elegantly crashed face first into Excellence’s control console. The sharp stab in her temple from the cane of...



Her eyes fly open.



And immediately crash shut again, as her stomach lurches violently in protest. Colors swirls behind her eyes as she struggles to maintain control of her body.



Lycana struggles with her breathing, forcing her roiling innards to subside. Once the threat of her vomiting all over had calmed to a level she could handle, she tentatively cracked an eyelid once more, immediately regretting it.



The sidewalk swayed, even that small motion having the effect of a rollercoaster on her guts as she bites back a groan. She grits her teeth as the fog slowly lifts from her brain, and she becomes more aware of the position she was in.



Upside down to be precise.



Riding high above the ground courtesy of the shoulder of one of the unsavory fellows that had bopped her and...



BETSY!



She wiggles, trying to catch sight of her friend, a soft moan escaping her, and instead finds the world becoming a blur for a few seconds as she is tossed unceremoniously to the ground in front of her ‘ride’, landing with a thud on her ass.



“Eh there girl, no spewing on the suit, you hear? Its new.”



Lycana lets her gaze travel up from the polished black shoes, shimmering in the sun, over the neatly pressed pants legs in what appeared to be dark gray... Up to the starched white shirt, with a gray vest buttoned over the top, partially covered by the gray jacket, skipping over the face of her captor to land on the... you guessed it... gray hat perched jauntily on his slicked back hair.



She drops her line of sight, to look at the face of the man who was idly twirling his cane as she perused him. Beady dark eyes in a weather worn face full of pockmarks that could have been anywhere from late twenties to forties. Ugly AF. A cigarette hung from his lower lip, clinging with no signs of movement as if it had been superglued. The end glows... with no color... as he puffs on it, slow realization dawning on just where HE was looking.



She snaps her thighs shut, a thunderous scowl appearing on her face. This was why she never fucking wore dresses. She sucks in a deep lungful of air, prepared to let him, and everyone in the vicinity know what was going on.



“I don’t recommend that, unless you want another smooch to the head with this.” he lifts the cane.



Just as her mouth opens to emit a grand ‘fuck you’, movement captures her attention, the air leaving her lungs with a soft whoosh instead of the expletives she had intended. “Betsy...” she whispers the word as she spies the very angry blond, wrapped up tight in the arms of the other fellow, a hand smushed over her mouth.



Lycana’s ride gestures with the cigarette. “There see, your friend is awake too, all safe with Sobby. Put ‘er down.”



And from the rumpled look of his clothing, she had given him quite the battle before he gained the upper hand and subdued the Impossible Traveler.



“Alright Blunder.”



The heavyset lump with brillo pad like, matted hair ignores the muffled snarl that emerges from under his palm, moving forward to drop his bundle next to Lycana. “Yeah, you better put me down, you dirty, rotten, son of a... Lycana! Are you okay?”



Before Lycana could reply, Blunder talks over them.



“You dames are coming with us, either under your own power or we can carry ya again. Your choice.”



Betsy and Lycana share a long, silent glance, both knowing they had little choice in the matter, at least right now. Both started slowly helping each other to their feet, tugging down skirts as they went. With a simple nod, the greasy Blunder led the way down a rather shady looking alley while the giant wall of flubber, Sobby, took up the rear, leaving the barest crack of sunlight between him and the colorless brick walls that loomed above.



A pause outside of a normal looking door. A knock that sounded suspiciously like a code and it cracked open. Words were exchanged and the girls were ushered into a dusty bookstore, through the stacks and stacks of tomes, all neatly arranged on the shelves. Behind the counter...



And there they stand, looking at a yawning hole in the ground, stairs seeming to lead into nothing.



“Well c’mon then, we don’t have all day.” the prod of the cane at the base of their spine and they move forward, carefully treading down the rickety steps, each one groaning its displeasure at the weight of the women.



Betsy glares at Blunder and Sobby, before falling in close beside Lycana. While the two henchmen are distracted with the path ahead, the girls lean their heads in close together and begin to plot in desperate whispers.



“How do we get out of this one, Bets?” Lycana hisses through her teeth, keeping her blue eyes locked on Blunder.


“I’m still thinking on it, but for now, just play along. The best thing we can do now is get a feel for where we are and study everything around us. Maybe the answer to our escape is hidden in plain sight.”



“Play along... I can do that. Where do you think we are?”



”Everything around us suggests 1920s Chicago, the height of prohibition, gangsters, and...”



“Hey, enough of that whispering! We’ll have no funny business from you dames, you hear?”



With a face full of rage, Betsy snaps her mouth shut as the foursome continues underground in silence. They hit the bottom of the stairs, and walk slowly towards the faint glow, outlining another door. Blunder opens it, bathing them in soft light as they step into another world, Sobby squeezing in close behind.



The bar was empty, giving no indication of the patrons that would soon sneak in, paying good money to fill its interior and sip the forbidden sweetness of alcohol. The Vixen and the Impossible Traveler blink their eyes as they adapt to the dimness of the interior, a soft sound drawing their attention. A barkeep, slowly running a rag in circular motions over the wooden top of the bar. He gives no indication that he even notices the arrivals, studiously keeping his head bent to his task.



“The Boss?” Only two words, but the meaning was clear.



Without looking, the barkeep simply jerks his head towards a hallway still further into the building. The little parade moves silently forward, and Lycana finds her gaze on the shimmering bottles of liquor, her hand itching to get ahold of one to smash over the head of their captors. Instead, she looks over to Betsy, who had the same longing look in her eyes as she stares at the glassware. With a soft sigh, Betsy glances at Lycana, catching her stare. They offer up small smiles at one another, fingers automatically reaching out to touch as they give each other a reassuring squeeze. No matter what was through that door, they would face it together.



Blunder stands aside, motioning them to go first, and without a moment hesitation, they do, finding themselves in a shockingly plush office. A large, gleaming desk dominates the room... and behind that desk, sitting in the chair, his presence somehow taking up the entire room sat who they only knew right now as... The Boss.



Betsy gasps at the young, powerful looking man in the pinstriped suit behind the desk. His face was friendly enough, though it was hard to miss the glint of evil in his dark eyes. A cigarette hung loosely from heavily ringed fingers as his free hand scrawled something against a personalized notepad. He merely nodded towards his henchmen as Betsy and Lycana are thrust further into the room, indicating that the women should be seated at the desk before him. The girls are inserted roughly into their chairs, each one held in place by one of the goons in The Boss’ employee.



When The Boss finally finishes up his notetaking, he finally draws his eyes up and studies each girl carefully. “What brings a couple of beautiful dames to my city?”



“YOUR city?” Betsy sputters.



“Yeah, birdie, MY city and the two YOU have trespassed into it without my permission. Why? Who do you work for?”



“Work for?” Lycana asks, sounding just as dumbfounded as Betsy.



Frustration is obvious in The Boss’ face as he rises from the uncomfortable looking chair behind the large desk. “Yes, work for. As in, who sent you? A lot of these jamokes thing they can come into my city and claim my turf. I’ll bet it was Dillinger, that bastard... I wouldn’t put this past the Bugs and Meyer Gang to be this bold, either.”



Both girls eyes widen as the names of some of the most notorious gangsters of the Public Enemy era escape his lips. Betsy’s heart begins to pound as she realizes that they might just be stuck in 1920s Chicago.



“What about Al?” Lycana chimes in suddenly.



“Capone?” All three men throw their heads back and howl with laughter. “That clown can barely tie his own shoes, let alone take over MY ring. But if that’s an admission as to who sent you...”



“That was a suggestion as to who may be trying to take over your outfit... But that’s it. I’ve never met the guy personally, Betsy?”



Even through the grey hues of their world, Betsy’s face begins to burn with guilt. Blunder notices as his grip on her shoulders tightens. “Look at ‘er, Boss! Guilty as anything!”



“Hey, I only met him once, but I’m no associate of his!” Betsy protests, attempting to rise from her seat. Blunder forces her back down as The Boss stands up straight.



His full height is intimidating as he comes around the desk and rests himself on the edge, leaning in close to both girls. His voice is deadly soft when he speaks to them. “You dames had best come clean or you won’t like what happens to you.”



“We’re telling you the truth, you stupid son of a bitch.” Lycana growls, her impatience clear. “We’re just two friends travelling the world who happened to get a little lost after some engine trouble. We don’t want any trouble; we just want to get back on track.”



“Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me, Boss.” Sobby says, an evil grin crossing his face. “I say we take ‘em down cellar and use them as our personal playthings.”



Both women tense up at this, eyeing up The Boss as he appraises them once more. With a nod, he rises and strolls back around to the business side of his desk. “They do make quite a lovely pair; easy on the eyes and bodies like gunpowder. Y’know son, sometimes you manage to come up with a good idea or two from time to time.”



Sobby beams at the compliment, his grip on Lycana becoming more possessive. “Gee, thanks Boss!”



“We’re not going to sit here and allow any of you to use us as anything.” Betsy snarls, fighting in earnest against Blunder now. “You can’t just-”



“I can do whatever I want, girlie, as you’ll soon find out. And you would do best to keep your pretty little mouth shut and accept whatever comes your way. You would also do well to thank your lucky stars I’ve decided to be merciful with you two dames; I could send you back to your boss in pieces, you know.”



With a practiced flick of his wrist, he dismisses the room. Throwing each of the struggling girls over their shoulders, Betsy and Lycana are unceremoniously taken to the pits of the speakeasy and tossed onto a damp, cold stone floor. Betsy scrambles to her feet first as the cage door is swung shut with a loud bang and locked by a key on a ring of many. Committing what the ring looked like to memory, she narrows her green eyes at Blunder and Sobby who both look at her through the bars like a hot meal.



“Tonight is going to be fun, love.” Blunder says, standing so close to Betsy she can smell the stale beer and cigarettes on his breath. “You may not like it now, but you’ll be my gal by the end of the night. You’ll see.”



Blowing her a kiss, Blunder and Sobby laugh mirthlessly as they disappear through a heavy, wooden door. Betsy hears this get locked as well, and now the girls are good and trapped underground with only the dim light of oil lamps to scan the room with. Turning to Lycana, her eyes are hard like emeralds, alert and skipping around the room as she spoke.



“Obvious point coming, we have to figure a way out of here; the not so obvious is the how. My lightsaber is still aboard Excellence, along with my sonic pen. The only thing we have that we could possibly use is the bit of gunpowder that spilled from the barrel by our cage. It’s way risky, though; the noise could attract them upstairs, never mind what it could do to us in close range down here.”



When she realizes the length of Lycana’s silence after her spiel, Betsy finally rests her green eyes on where the sapphire vixen had been standing. The spot was empty.



Turning, Betsy notices that Lycana’s eyes had begun to glow as she stepped up to the bars of the cage as though hypnotized. For Lycana, the world had faded away around her as the sweetest song she’d ever heard filled her head, spreading a comforting warmth through her entire body.



It had started in the farthest recesses of her mind, a teasing little distraction that she couldn’t quite put her finger on as she had listened to Betsy, struggling to maintain her focus as the sound became more insistent. A light tug on the very essence of her being, as if fairies were fluttering about, urging her onwards to... to... she didn’t know, but she found one foot stepping forward on its own accord.



What am I doing? bewildered, she stares at the foot that had moved. The song was louder now, clearer and she found herself sinking within its spell, allowing it to weave its way through her mind, taking over everything with its delicate notes. What is this? What is going on? wonderment trickles through her veins, as her heart began to thrum with an urge she could not put a name to. What are you? She felt almost silly, for that second, asking questions inside her own head of a song... but it seemed nearly to answer her, the tone swirling in tempting tendrils through her mind, beckoning her forward, ever forward...



And she answers.



She moves, though it seemed to her she was floating on a cloud, drawn by the invisible thread that shimmered between her and whatever was making this music inside her soul. She slowly stepped across the cell, unerringly drawn toward the door. Could this be...? she wondered to herself, and almost immediately the barest lilt in the music seemed to answer her not fully spoken question. A comfort that she had never known washes over her body, like she was being wrapped in the softest, cuddliest blanket in the world... and it was then she knew. My crystal... Elation fills her heart, confirming her thoughts. She had not known it would be like this, the soothing melody a literal sirens song to her. A gentle balm making her feel that all was well. Featherlight tugs insisted she keep coming, though she could no longer, thanks to the barrier that blocked her way.



Betsy’s voice cuts through her mind, momentarily blocking out the song as Lycana turns to her partner, eyes normal once more. “Betsy... It’s here.”



“What’s here?” asks The Impossible Traveler, confusion touching her face for a moment.



“The crystal... I can hear it. It’s here.”



Betsy’s eyes widen as her jaw drops. ”Kyber crystals here? What the hell are kyber crystals doing in 1920-something Chicago?”



“Because once again, Betsy Granger, you’ve managed to end up right in the middle of an Imperial scheme.”



From the shadows, a cloaked figure emerges, darting on silent feet across the stone floor. Hope explodes through Betsy as electric blue eyes appear from the darkness before her and peer into her face. Lycana drinks in the gorgeous Togruta, admiring the pale orange hue of her skin, the intricate designs etched within her face around the eyes, as well as the blue stained design against white montrails, the ends of which peaked out from under her hood.



”Ahsoka!” Betsy cries out breathlessly, relief so heavy she nearly bursts into tears. ”Wait, what are YOU doing here?! You said this has something to do with Thrawn?”



”Time and place, lil sis.” Another voice joins them from the shadows, a male timber so recognizable to them both that they exchange a surprised look.



“Caedus?” Lycana asks, a slight edge in her tone. Betsy can feel her body tense next to her and puts a comforting hand on Lycana’s shoulder.



”The one and only. You don’t sound so happy to see me, toots.”



Indeed, the difference of reaction between the girls couldn’t have been more obvious. Betsy’s face breaks out into a full grin as she rattles the cage a bit in greeting, whereas Lycana’s face darkens a bit, arms crossing over her chest as she glares at him from under her long eyelashes. Ignoring Lycana’s sour greeting, he steps up in front of Betsy and grins back at her.



”When we did that Star Wars bit, you never told me some of that shit was real! Ahsoka Tano, Bets? You’re friends with Ahsoka Fucking Tano?”



”Uh... There’s still a lot to catch you up on Jimmy, but now really isn’t the best time for all of that.”



Jim nods his agreement, the exuberant smile fading from his face as a look of business and a serious air take hold. Strolling over to the hinges, he begins to take them out, but Ahsoka rests a hand on his arm to stop him. Everyone looks at her confused as her wise blue eyes peer back into the cage, resting on Lycana.



“Betsy, did I hear this girl correctly?”



Catching the stern tone in Ahsoka’s voice, Betsy puts on the best innocent face she can muster. She hopes her tone doesn’t hitch and give her away. “Depends on what you heard?”



“You two are searching for a kyber crystal for her?” Ahsoka’s eyes narrow as Betsy’s gaze drops guiltily to the floor. “You know I will always help you in any task you ask of me, Betsy Granger, but I cannot aid you in this.”



Lycana’s head jerks upward indignantly, her flame-filled eyes meeting Ahsoka’s. “And exactly why not?”



“I sense much anger in you... impatience... fear.” Ahsoka’s gaze never wavers. “These consume you and will only lead you down a dark path. I will not assist in sending you down that path.”



”Now wait just a moment, my friend.” Betsy’s green eyes are pleading as she pokes her head through the bars. ”I know what I’m doing, and I... I trust her. Completely. She’s not just my tag partner, she’s my friend and she’s in a rather similar stage of her life as I am. Now we know our fates are linked... The least I can do is help her adjust to the craziness of my half of it.”



Ahsoka seems to want to respond, but something in Lycana’s turbulent eyes stills her, allowing the cerulean vixen to plead her case before she slams the lid down on the idea. “The journey I took to get where I am, I have learned. I admit it, I was never able to rein in my temper the way it should have. I have done... things... and I own them.” her voice fades slightly as she seems to ruminate, carefully choosing her words. “I have also changed. I do not rush headlong into situations, and I no longer allow emotions to control me.”



She sucks in a soft breath, lids dropping to shutter her eyes as her head bows. “I don’t pretend that it is easy, the old me is always there along the edges, old habits die hard and all that...” her voice firms as she raises her face once more, determination flaring to life with the steely depths of her orbs. “But it will not get the better of me.”



Ahsoka looks between the women, hesitation still evident in her expression. Her gaze lingers on Lycana for a few moments longer before she finally motions for Jimmy to finish the task he’d started. As soon as the final hinge of the cage door was removed, Ahsoka used the Force to quietly dispatch of it across the room. As soon as the gap was wide enough, Lycana burst out of it and headed for the spot she could feel the crystal calling to her from. Ahsoka leans in close to Betsy as they watch her, whispering low.



“I don’t like this, Betsy... You could be setting yourself for your biggest fall yet.”



”She made mistakes, so have I; if I deserved a second chance, shouldn’t she?”



“You aren’t as prone to giving in to the Dark Side as she is; your anger was able to managed. She lives with a rage that consumes her very soul and fear in her heart for situations she can’t control. She’s impulsive, impatient... It’s risky, Betsy.”



”I think you give me entirely too much credit...” Betsy mutters, pushing down dark memories that threatened to pour from her lips.



Lycana follows the pull, some hidden force leading her once more, tuning out the muted conversation behind her. It didn’t matter right now. A vague sort of haze drops down across the edges of her vision, the pleasant cloudy feeling overtaking her once more as the enchanting song calls to her. She pauses for a moment next to Caedus, peering around him as he stares at her curiously.“You okay, girl?”



She pauses, gaze still locked behind him. “I will be when I find it.”



“You seem surprised I showed up.” the rumbling tone was neutral as ice blue collides with sterling, his interaction pulling her slightly back, away from the insistent tugging.



“You came for Betsy.” she points out the obvious.



“I would have come for you too.” he replies, earning a small frown.



“Why?”



“Because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t hate you, you know.” But she was already fading back out, the words slow to sink in, intermingling with the song, not truly computing as she slowly shifts her body, searching... seeking... the call unrelenting, adamant that she gives in. But this was not the right spot...



No. Not here. She allows her eyes to flit across his face, offering a genial head bob in response before edging around him and heading towards a bunch of things stacked in the corner, darkened by shadows.



A loud clatter above their heads causes all four of them to pause where they stood, looking around cautiously. A few panicked shouts are heard followed closely by several gunshots. A moment later, the familiar sound of a door being unlocked and pushed open echoes down the basement.



”They’re coming!” Betsy hisses loudly, reaching instinctively for the lightsaber that wasn’t there.



Lycana turns to her, eyes glowing slightly violet and faraway from the room as she glances blindly at Betsy. “I need more time... It’s here, I can feel it.”



Heavy footsteps clamor down the stairs now.



“It’s now or never, girl.” Caedus says, swiftly sliding two blasters from his thigh holsters and twirling them over his fingers like a proper gunslinger.



Ahsoka tosses Betsy a spare lightsaber; Betsy ignites it, reveling in the satisfying sizzing hiss as it’s yellow light fills the room. Sobby appears first, followed closely by Blunder, both of whom have their guns drawn. Surprise fills both their faces as they pause, taking in the scene before their eyes.



“The dames are trying to escape!”



Blunder lifts his gun, aiming at Ahsoka, but Jimmy comes from the shadows and tackles him to the ground. Before Sobby could register what was happening, Ahsoka springs forward on nimble feet and lands her feet against his chest with ease. As she uses the momentum to do a flip back to her feet, Sobby stumbles backward, gasping for air. All hell breaks loose as Ahsoka and Jimmy are quickly embroiled in battle with the sleezy henchmen.



As the distraction carries out, Betsy reaches under her shirt and grabs at a key hanging from a chain. Wrapping her fingers around it and closing her eyes, she begins to send out a telepathic message, hoping her recipient was close enough to receive it.



Meanwhile, Lycana continues her desperate search, the song overtaking even the loud fight carrying on around her. Lifting the lids off of barrels and crates, sifting through gunpowder and home-brewed liquors... still nothing. Yet the song was growing more powerful by the second, her heart hammering to it loudly like a bass dropping at the hottest dance club you’ve ever been to. For a brief moment, despair hits her heart as she begins to wonder if the stone would ever show itself to her...



… And that’s when destiny reared her head.



As Betsy’s green eyes snapped open, a bullet blew past her, narrowly missing her by inches. Jimmy lets out a roar of rage and drills the butte of his blaster hard overtop of Blunder’s skull. The big man’s eyes roll up into his head as a stupid grin crosses his face before his lids flutter shut and he slumps heavily onto the ground. His crashing body landed just in front of Lycana’s feet and into a pile of crates that Lycana had been about to root through. She clicks her tongue in frustration as the crates crash down loudly all around them... Until a bright, white glow fills her entire field of vision.



Betsy watches in what felt like slow-motion as the crates spilled thousands of the crystals all over the damp floors. Ahsoka gasps, also spotting the unexpected loot scattering all around them. It’s right about here that The Boss joins the party, of course. He does a quick look around, noticing that Blunder was neutralized and Sobby had his hands full with Ahsoka and Jimmy. Finally, they land on Lycana, who has fallen to her knees before a singular crystal that was glowing brightly. A smirk crosses his smarmy face as he reaches for the pistol hidden in his suit jacket...



When a yellow light ignites just in front of his throat and a woman’s voice floats into his ear. ”I wouldn’t do that if I were you, big boy. All your weapons on the ground, now.



“Easy now, doll, we can talk this out.” Even still, The Boss does as he’s told. Ahsoka now has Sobby subdued and Jimmy has joined Betsy, holding his blaster right between the fellow’s eyes.



“I believe the time for talking has long passed us by.” Ahsoka says, holding her own lightsaber in The Boss’ direction now. “Except for the part where you tell me how you came to be in possession of so many of these crystals.”



As Ahsoka and Jimmy interrogate The Boss, Betsy floats over to Lycana, who is still staring at the glowing stone with fascination. Recognizing the doubt in her friends eyes, Betsy places a comforting hand on Lycana’s shoulder and squeezes gently. ”It’s calling to you... Take it.



Needing little more prompting, Lycana reaches out as if hypnotized and finally wraps her fingers around the crystal. The moment her skin hits the smooth surface, the glowing white light darkens to a purplish-blue hue. Lycana turns her eyes up to Betsy, a shine within them that had never been there before. “This feeling...”



“I know.” Betsy says gently, helping Lycana to her feet.



Snapping out of her reverie, Lycana palms the crystal and squeezes it firmly before slipping it safely into her bra. “You know, I really miss my pockets about now.”



Betsy giggles in surprise at the off-hand remark, but nods her agreement as they turn back to Jimmy and Ahsoka. The Boss was in the midst of a rambling confession.



“... I swear I meant no harm in hoarding all those space rocks, really! I was only following orders from the strange blue fella that came from the sky!”



”Strange blue fella?! Betsy and Ahsoka exchange a look.



“So Thrawn is behind this.” Ahsoka says gently, earning her Lycana’s full attention.



“The same guy who’s been after Betsy? What would he want with all these crystals?”



”He’ll want them for his Inquisitors... Or something far worse.” Betsy replies softly.



A loud whooshing noise fills the room and moments later, Excellence materializes within the cage. Despite herself, Lycana grins at the ship, never more relieved to have seen the phone booth in her life. Turning back to the group, she throws a thumb over her should and smiles. “Our ride has arrived.”



”And not a moment too soon.” Betsy says sarcastically. ”So what do we do with all this? We can’t leave them here for the Empire to pick up.”



“And they can’t go back to Ilum... I think I know a place, though.” Ahsoka says, grabbing one of the crates and scooping the stones into it. “I have a feeling we don’t have much time before Thrawn gets here, so let’s get these bad boys onto your ship and get out of here.”



Without hesitation, the other three follow Ahsoka’s lead; before long, the crew has all the stones accumulated and stored safely within Excellence. Betsy saunters over to the control console and begins flipping switches. ”So... Where to?”



(Part Three Coming Soon!)



****Words With a Shimmer****



“It never fails, does it?

Each and every time I step up to watch you two assholes run your mouths, I think that I have seen the very pinnacle... and each and every time, I am proven wrong.

There's another damn level of stupidity to the Bastards that I had never before DREAMED possible.

And yet, here we are... with this little gem.

“Show up, Jump Them No Good Bastards.”

Hollllllllld on just a second here. I know you two don’t pay attention to jack shit, but are you two completely blind as fuck as well? Because let me tell you something, that is certainly not what I saw going down on Warfare. And I'm pretty damn sure anybody with eyeballs, saw the exact same thing I did.

What I saw, was Betsy Granger smashing your face into the mat, and pinning those shoulders for the three count.

Then, you proceeded to disgust the world by taking off your mask and giving insight as to why you hid that shit in the first place. I could have gone another six years not knowing, believe me!

THEN... THEN Bourbsy... this is where I think it gets a little hazy for you, but don’t worry! I'll clear this right up for ya! THEN Ol’ Thunder Knuckles came bouncing into the ring, and well, let's be real, every time you two played the numbers game, it never seemed to end well for Bets. It just didn’t seem to me that you two were in there together to give her a foot massage and a spa treatment.

So, forgive me, for coming down to the ring to watch the back of my partner!

What a sin!

How DARE I get into the ring and stand by her side like I did! What an atrocious crime!

Maybe you should have blockaded me into the bathroom, like you did Caedus.

You know... when you two jumped Betsy like you and the rest of the shitheads in BoB do.

All.

The.

Damn.

Time.

Nah, you know what.... fuck you Bobby.

You’re the one that had the gumption to invite TK out and think that nothing would come from it. You’re the one that stepped your flabby ass forward and motioned us on. And then you’re the one who couldn’t handle the heat that you invited onto yourself. You’re the one that turned tail and ran off with TK like the pathetic little pissy twats that you are.

Way to prove what I’ve been saying, that neither of you two cowardly fucks, have any balls to speak of.

We came out to jump the Bastards.... please.

This sounds to me that Bourbon is all ass hurt that nobody gave a shit about his precious mask. This sounds to me that Bourbon is feeling a little emasculated that Betsy beat his fucking ass in that ring when he didn’t think she could. This sounds to me like Bourbon is being a whining, crying little bitch who needs a fresh diaper and a bottle because he can't handle things not going his way without a tantrum.

And they say women are the crybaby emotional ones?

I present to you, Bobby Bourbon! Biggest Bitch of them all!

Don’t worry though Bourbs, you certainly have the tits for it.”



Betsy watches Lycana in open fascination and admiration as the blue-haired vixen some things off her chest. With a grin, Betsy turns to the camera.



“How does one follow some hard-hitting facts such as those? It’s about time the Bastards got a taste of their own medicine and I’m in the mood to shove the bitter pill down their throats. Besides, it would be petty of me not to correct their moronic diatribes; we wouldn’t want them looking even more half-witted than they already are, now would we?



Take, for instance, this adorable little Bill and Ted rip-off you guys have been attempting recently. Listen, I’m flattered that you guys look up to me so much that felt the need to do a trash imitation of what I’ve already perfected, I am. But as the real deal, let me give you a bit of advice: quit while you’re ahead. If you think Stephen Moffatt would cringe at the things I’ve done, wait until Keanu Reeves sees the way you two managed to butcher one of his most iconic roles. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to go full John Wick on both your flubbery fool asses for the stupid shit you’re trying to pull. Are the two of you so out of ideas that you would turn to the same route your craven leader would use against me?



Well... I suppose that question is a bit redundant since we’re witnessing you fucktards doing absolutely that in real-time.



Also, I suppose it’s time for me to clear something up for the billionth time, since you two, among many other vapid twatwaffles, seem unable to grasp this. James and I? Yeah, we’re not married. Why does this matter? Because it’s more weaksauce, desperate, bullshit filler you would try to use to get under my skin; don’t you know by now saying his name won’t summon him? It’s fucking hilarious to me how the two of you use me to call him out for month, chasing him down on Twitter like a couple of Simping Stans and the moment he arrives, you act like he ain’t shit. That’s condition knows as PABS- Pussy Ass Bitch Syndrome and Doctor Betsy is here to deliver the unfortunate news that both of you have a terminal case of it.



It’s always a shame when a bitch needs to be put down, but the two of you are long overdue.



Look around guys- I'm the only member of Legacy left who gives half a fuck about the XWF. James and Shawn come when I call them, that’s what family does for one another. Do you really think either one of them would have refused me if I’d asked them to be in Lycana’s spot? Please, all three of us have already beaten the two of you at least once. It wouldn’t have been any sweat off my back to call in either one of my boys to bounce the two of you around like oversized basketballs once again. Hell, we could make a full-blown sport of ripping apart Them No Good Bastards at this point. It isn’t about Legacy at this point, it’s the ideals we stood by. A code of loyalty that has never wavered and that I now share with the sapphire dream at my side.



So why Lycana?



Despite popular belief that I think her supernatural abilities give us an edge of any sort, it’s not the magic she possesses that draws me to her. Fact is, Lycana and Marf have been after these two blobs for months with undesirable results. The Dissentients should have been the tag team champions months ago, and it makes me sick that it’s come to this to tear those belts off the over-expanded waists of Da Bastids.



Lycana is due.



Have you been paying attention, boys? When have you ever seen this icy beauty so fired up before? As top-tier a team as the Dissentients are, Lycana needed a womans assist to finally grab what she’s been chasing for so many months. Here’s the part that makes this extra dangerous for you two: she’s not just doing this for herself. In reality, it should be Marf standing by her side at Relentless as they lift their newly won tag team titles in the air, but destiny has decided to throw us a curveball instead. It will be bittersweet for her indeed when it’s at my side that she’ll finally have that moment of glory, lifting one of those pretty tag belts in the air.



But she doesn’t seem to mind.



Because like me, The Dissentients know that continuing the crumbling downfall of BoB is the most important task there is. And yanking the rug out from under the clown-feet of Them No Good Bastards would make a mighty fine addition to the snowball that’s already barreling them towards a collision with all hell. Lycana and I share the same goal, and we’re both at the end of our ropes when it comes to Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon.



Ropes that I’d love to use to tie them to that stupid electrified cage we’ll be cozied up in.



I’m going to enjoy watching you two butterball bitchkins fry like piggies.”



The Impossible Traveler pauses as she glances over at Lycana for a moment.



”As to what happened at Warfare, well... I think my partner here definitely took the bull by the horns on that one.



Lycana and I jumped the Bastards? Last I checked, both of you left on your own two feet with nary a scratch on your surface fat. I know it’s hard to believe that Lycana would only come out to make sure I stayed in one piece, but let the tapes speak for themselves. Bourbs... Sorry the unmasking was a wash, but I hope it showed you the reality of The Bastards situation. Not a single soul in that place gave a shit about you taking that sweat-catcher off, no one will give a fuck if you put a new one back on. Switch them up if you want, just keep that ugly mug of yours out of view. Even if the stupid thing had magical powers, it wouldn’t matter in the ring, remember? Last I checked, there was some dumbass magic blocker that prevents any unfair advantages.



Whoops, maybe y’all should have thought that one through before you tried to use it as another paper-thin point to make on us.



Besides, what was going to happen when ol’ TK came down to the ring, hmmm? Only an idiot would believe the two of you were going to let me pass peacefully; that’s not the Bastards style, never was, never will be. What, he was just coming down to comfort you after that stinging loss he suffered to me? Sure, and the next thing you’ll tell me is that we were all going to form a peace circle and sing Kumbaya while smoking a blunt. The two of you were going to take the last opportunity you had to take me out as much as you could before Relentless.



Now you’re butthurt as fuck because Lycana decided to not leave her partner hanging in that situation solo.



Funny how it’s cool when the two of you sneak attack, but the moment my partner shows up to have my back, it’s scandalous and pathetic. Fuck right off outta here with that Primadonna, double-standard bullshit. The two of you got played at your own fucking game and you can’t stand it. Now look how you backtrack, crying wolf (no put intended) on Lycana and I. It’s not so fun when the tables start to turn, is it?



Warfare was only the beginning of the humiliation Lycana and I have prepared for the two of you. Please, continue to blow your hot air into the camera, with your poorly contrived plan of attack against us.



And to our doubters, I don’t want to hear shit from you mother fuckers when Lycana and I claim our prize. So many of you think the task of beating the Bastards is going to take more than Lycana and Betsy Granger; go on, then. Continue to book your bets against us, make them extravagant and be loud about it. I want to remember every single face in the crowd leading up to Relentless who would stop Lycana and I just to tell us we’re in over our heads. I’ll etch to memory those of you who would repeat the witless drivel that the Bastards continue to spurt on the daily. It’s as mind-numbing as watching a State of Address from Forty-Five. It doesn’t help that Them Bastards share his laughable ignorance and have no problem showing that every time they open their mouths.



It gets harder to take you guys seriously by the day, and luckily, those days are just about numbered.”



“Excuse followed by excuse, followed by excuse... Holy shit. Might I just reiterate that the two of you don’t pay attention to a damn thing?

I get a new power every few seconds huh? That’s news to me. I wish I was told what they were so I could, you know. Start learning them. Last I checked... the only magical things I have come into possession of, were a particular bell that does some pretty nifty things, during Leap of Faith but nah, we couldn’t be talking about way back in MAY now could we? You said every two seconds! And that’s not even a power... Shit, that certainly means you couldn’t possibly be talking about when I brought Reika back in March? No? Then damn... I give up. You’ll have to enlighten me. I do have one.... teensy tiny little question though...

What exactly do the powers that Betsy and I have, matter inside the ring?

The answer to that is... nothing.

Is this another excuse? Another random grasping at straws? Another random blurb that means complete fuck all in the grand scheme of things?

Yeah... yeah it is.

When have we ever used them inside of the ring on an opponent?

Never.

Do they have anything to do with us in our careers in the XWF?

Nope.

They don’t mean a damn thing... hey, like your mask! Right Bourbs?!

Just another pitiful, whining narrative, used as filler for these sad little cunts to try and... what, exactly? Who the fuck knows to be honest. They bitch about it in both of their promos when it literally has no bearing on anything. Quite frankly, it sounds like one hell of a cop out excuse to drag out of their asses when we beat them for the Tag Team belts...

And beat them we will.

Putting the tag titles around the waists of two people who both actually respect the meaning of the word, championship.”

Lycana’s eyes harden, her face twisting into a malicious sneer.

“Two women, who will actually treat the belts with the respect that they are due, and not abandon our posts when it gets too hot in the kitchen.

Who won’t disappear with nary a whimper when the going gets tough, or lay down and play dead like a wounded possum.

You’d know all about that sort of thing, wouldn’t you Bobby?

You guys decided to bring up all this info about this belt and that title run and well... I took a little trip down memory lane, and imagine my surprise when I found out just how shabbily Mr. Bourbon here has the nerve to treat the top belt in the federation while he held it!

Not only did he not bother to even open his mouth during the weeks leading up to this match, to hype up the Uni or even act like he gave half a shit about it... he decided he was going to go on record as the biggest JOKE the world has ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon.

What did he do?

He tried to lay down in the middle of the damn ring... Throw himself to the ground like the gelatinous puddle that he is and allow one, Danny Imperial to just take it... like the spineless coward I always knew he was. Instead, he sickened his opponent, who left the quivering Jello mold where he lay and left. But even THAT wasn’t all... nope. Just when you think this head shaker couldn’t get more pathetic... we keep right on going, in typical Bastard fashion, even way back then.

Because Bourbon was then given an absolutely luscious dressing down by Vinnie Lane... followed by being stripped...STRIPPED... of the Universal title.

What a fucking disgrace.

You know, you have some real nerve coming after anybody about their title runs, or how they lost things when you have this on your record.

I might have not been in this for the belts, I said that championships were not all that important to me... but at least I fucking showed the X the respect it deserved while carrying it. At least I came out and did my promos. I came out and gave my all to defend it and there is no damn shame in taking a loss in any way, shape or form, compared to belly flopping like a fucking slug and not trying at all. What a craven little pussy you are.

And that wasn’t even the only time was it? No...

High Stakes and the Hart title anyone?

Are we seeing a theme here? I certainly am!

You have a real tendency to shit the bed when things get a little dicey. Perhaps you have a little too much on your plate. Trying to juggle too much all at the same time...

And my oh my... you have already started to blame OCW for you slipping up against Betsy on Warfare. How long is it before you bitch out on something? How long before you screw up yet again? Before you start to sweat the details and fail to show up, in body or spirit? You already made one misstep Bourbs, you can’t afford another... You goof like you did and she and I, will be all over it again and all you can do is hope that your precious little Teeks doesn’t get knocked the fuck out like he did, so he can come and attempt to rescue your ass.”



”You want to know what the biggest difference between the Shooting Star title and these tag belts are? Jenny Myst was an annoying pest who needed to be brought down several pegs. I never truly wanted to be pigeon-holed into a glorified cruiserweight division, so I did what I had to do to claw my way out of it. If that meant letting Atara Themis have some fun at Leap of Faith, so be it. We put on a match of the year candidate that fans are still buzzing about, even now. That match ended exactly the way it was meant to, with the victor gaining spoils she coveted more than anyone.



Becoming a tag champion with one of the fiercest female competitors in the industry? BONUS!



Unlike the Shooting Star title, the tag team belts are something I’ve been quietly attempting to pursue for quite some time. That’s the fun part about being a female at times; unlike the loud, blustering noises of men to announce they are coming, I waited until the perfect moment to let you two buffoons know what was going to happen. I never needed to make my intentions known in order to act them out and get all the pieces I needed dropped into place. I considered asking many a person, from my friends in Apex, to Brother Mine, of course James...



I DID ask Dolly Waters, but she’s occupied.



Funniest thing, my search for the perfect tag partner was still longer than either of your collective singles title histories put together.



But we’ll save that for next time; we’ve already spent more than enough on Them Worthless Shitheads.”