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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 3 RP Board 2021
Foreplay
Author Message
Dick Powers Offline
🍆



XWF FanBase:
Singles,

(Physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes.)


#1
09-18-2021, 07:02 PM

OOC: So this was meant to be a lot longer with a story piece but I had to deal with a massive amount of bullshit today and I'm just tired. Sorry to Charlie, I'll get you a better second RP.


Foreplay


“Charlie what the heck, dude?”

“You dare step to the Forefather of fingerbanging and accuse moi of shooting your dopey ass? First of all you doughy cunt, there’s only room for one mystery in the XWF and I’m calling dibs! Who ran over Noah Jackson is WAY more important than some washed-up bitch who doesn’t have the longevity to stay relevant for a year getting capped. Allow me to count the ways why your ass is inferior.”
I begin to bend back my fingers as I count. “One, who ran him over had a motive unlike your shooter who just had a spare bullet. Two, Noah got ran over LIVE on TV which is a BIG no-no! I have a brand to protect, do you know how much stocks dipped after someone tried to commit vehicular manslaughter? At least 2% which is FUCKED. And thirdly, we can write off you getting penetrated by an over-enthusiastic butt plug as someone trying to put down an ill cattle.”

“Then you have the sheer audacity to come up to me and say I shot you? With a gun!? Baby the only gun I holster shoots hot, sticky glue over the chests of supermodels and fuccbois and if you think I’d ever take aim on you and have my porn syrup matted in the pubic hair dangling from your third chin then that round must have cleared out your last brain cell. Shit, it must have if you’re dumb enough to enter cock slapping range of me after I ripped off the bedsheets and laid you down for the best 3 seconds of your life at War Games.”

“Because let’s face it, baby, this is what this is really about. Your career has been on a nosedive after the last Relentless and getting DICKED was the final nail in your sad life, to lose to someone who you deemed unworthy to pin you? Man, that must sting. The sexiest, baddest mother fucker to ever leave plow marks in the earth due to the wheelbarrow load of pink girth I behold to beat the absolute shit out of you and eliminate you, the captain, first. The sexiest man with the eyes of cold steel, the jawline crafted by Hephaestus, and abs sculpted by Michaelangelo worth more than a Damian Hurst original. The hot, sassy bitch who isn’t even a wrestler? Dick ‘make your momma say “Boys, sit down, we need to talk. Your father and I are getting a divorce, I have decided to join DP’s haram and live my life disconnected from you both, happy and sexually fulfilled.” Powers!”

“Now that you’ve been reclining in a hospital bed, letting your promo ideas fall into the metal pan beneath you with nothing in that smooth brain of yours except that moment of me straddling you I bet you got revenge on the mind. Or maybe it’s just your legs couldn’t stop quaking last time and you just can’t wait for round 2 so I can give you some one-on-one attention. Get some real pounding in; break open your bussy so wide you could put a flashlight to your mouth and use your anus as a spotlight. Spank that ass and make your butthole sound like a can of Pringles opening. And after I fuck you up soooooo~ hard I’ll grab that mess of hair and pull you back whispering good girl in your ear before spitting through the gap in your teeth as your bottom lip quivers and push your face back down in the pillows.”


I cross my legs lighting up a cigarette and bellow smoke. Biting the corner of my lip I speak softly.

“Was it good for you?”

I then hide a cough and flick the cigarette away. Smoking’s gross.

“Man, I just busted a brain nut. Talk about a mind fuck am I right?” Mental high five. OooooOOoohh that tingled me raw. I shake my senses and get back in the groove. “Where was I? … Riley where was I?”

I shout from my director’s chair and we shift oh so smoothly over to Riley on his phone and wireless earbuds in. He pulls one out and speaks loudly.

“Sorry, Dick, I wasn’t listening! I was watching these cool children hitting up some devilishly devious licks on the TikTok!”

Smooth slide back to me, my elbow resting on my crossed legs, those calf muscles simply busting out of my skinny jeans, as the world’s greatest chin lays upon my gigantic, masculine fist. Riley said he’s watching kids steal shit from school. It’s a new trend and it’s pretty dope, I even participated in this by stealing the heart of my old high school teacher 💖 for 83 she fucks like a damn bronco.

“Hm. OH! Me verbally sticking my throbbing member down Charlie’s engorged throat. Duh. So.” I clap my hands together. “Our match at the dilapidated Chicagoland Speedway on the final night. How fitting this truly is. For me. Because I’m super important and tighter than a nun’s clam. Yours truly has to deal with an Australian getting hit by a car while fighting amongst cars! That’s fucking poetic, bro. And you’re also telling me I get to put a hairy manchild re-running an episode of Dallas on a t-shirt? Fucking win-win, baby! Maybe this t-shirt with Charlie’s obituary might actually sell unlike any of his other merch so now the children he abused might get some decent royalties. Yeah, by the way, remember that this dude is an actual piece of shit who wants people to care about him and his bullshit, yeah dude, truly you’re the sympathetic character in this C story you’ve planted yourself into. Again, that bullet sure scrambled some fucking eggs… Put them eggs in a nest.. Ha ha funny joke, leave me a like you sheep.”

“Well, Charles, looking forward to you doing nothing like last night and Katamari Damacy yourself into a deep, deep pit of despair after you fuck up every single insult you try and throw at me again. Shame you don’t have any paid actors to prop you up this time; maybe your other personalities can try and gang up on me, make this a 3v3 with your empty, low-level, cringe-worthy, overly-edgy bull-fuckery and myself with two watermelon-sized balls leaving your domes concave. No matter what the nights gonna end the same, a hearse is gonna drive around the circuit and you’re gonna leave in it with your final thoughts wishing that bullet put you out of your misery after Tricky Dick ran a one-man Houston 500 on your ass.”


I take a deep breath and whisper seductively to the viewers at home.

“Now my dirty little Dick sluts, you ready for the real part of the promo?”

Yes, Daddy, you obviously say out loud, even if you’re out of the house or on public transport. (OOC: Say it Alias, you coward.) I relax in my chair, crossing my legs like that scene in basic instinct but instead of seeing bush you see bulge. My shit looks like a Blue Whale’s brain wrapped in denim.

“So as I said before, my whole deal is finding out who ran down Noah Jackson. Do I care about him? No. Should you!? Never. BUT you wanna know what we should all care about? Pigs sniffing around XWF. I shouldn’t have to tell you guys just how much illegal activity goes on around here because 60% of you are the direct cause of it. Betsy Granger fucks with the timeline on a daily basis and honestly, that shit is pretty out of pocket, this bitch is just straight-up disrespectful. I have zero idea how legal that is but I fucking refuse to have a TimeCop situation. Alias blew up the fucking moon! Thanks, asshole! That shit wasn’t difficult to cover up at all! Why couldn’t you just copy the original moon landing and just fake it!? Show some goddamn showmanship you emo bitch. You can make a Pokemon parody but can’t open Windows Movie Maker for your big cash-in? And lastly, and definitely the worse, Big D is unvaccinated and is competing. Do you realize how much trouble we can get into? And don’t give me that “Oh BuT DiCk! EvErYoNe WrEsTlEd DuRiNg LoCkDoWn!?!?!””

”FUCK YOU!”

“Again, all me, baby! You’re welcome for the safe working environment, enforced mask and social distancing regulations! And that audience you all saw during that trying time? MIRRORS! Mirrors and piping in crowd noise! My idea! Something you all gotta know about me is I love being balls deep in holes, making money and seeing the red line on a graph go up and babies, I made that red line look like the main vein on my peachy pipe and I re-fucking-fuse to let some dingo-eating punk getting wiped out ruin all my hard work. So Dick Powers is on the case, baby and because I’m the greatest I will be doing so in a manner that isn’t only entertaining, but on fucking brand.”

“XWF presents!”
I raise my hands and spread them apart presenting the imaginary title. “Private Dick! The Case of the Coont!” I drop my hands to my knees and smile widely.

“Pretty snazzy, right? You pussies want noir, I’m delivering, baby and I don’t mean no wack shit either. I’m not presenting you a movie trailer in black and white I paid some basement-dwelling nerd to cook up and saying it’s noir while doing the exact same shit I did 7 years ago and just hoping that nobody catches on to my inane bullshit. I ain’t serving up the same slop I’ve been peddling for years while trying to claim this one’s different; this ain’t no show opener baby, this is the show-stealer. I ain’t handing y’all no Charlie Nickles bullshit, I actually plan on getting more than one promo up.” I shoot a wink. “So without further ado, let’s get into the teaser I got a bunch of basement-dwelling nerds to cook up.”


















scene missing lol


[Image: 0iokh39.png]


Then and Forever
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