So this is sinking, or so it seems. Diving fathoms in lucid dreams. With lungs now aching, begging for air, And only cold water answers. With a cinder block anchor, hope turns to despair. Ripped from the womb and left to the ocean's care. Cold, cold water. So just sink, let go, slip into the depths, Let the pieces of a wasted life slip past the fingertips. Rejoice, exult, a fitting conclusion to a melancholy myth. A grave at sea, an absentee, whose presence won't be missed.

The gentle breeze rustles the rough, brown hair of Marf. He’s sprawled out on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer beach towel in the middle of the fairly busy beach. The scorching sun beats down on him and the beautiful Lycana, lying beside him. Marf, glistening with a mixture of oil and sweat, slowly turns his head and looks over at Lycana. She feels his gaze and smirks while attempting to pretend not to notice. He shifts his body so that he is now laying on his side, propping himself up with his elbow. He clears his throat not so subtly while she stifles a giggle and stares at the sky.

Isn’t this great? Finneas and Zara have Reika duties and Damien is out of town. No matches for several days to come. Just you and I and a glorious day at the beach in front of us!

Lycana snorts at him but doesn’t move her head.

You’re not going to break into song are you?

Marf playfully smacks some sand at Lycana as she jokingly pouts.

I told you the camping thing I was mixed up...stop bringing it up!

Mmmm hmmmm...

She motions to the sand now sprinkled over her perfect body and outstanding one piece. Marf chuckles before carefully dusting the sand off of her.

Feels like forever since we had quality time, just me and you, that’s all I’m trying to say.

Lycana can’t hide the smile this time as he keeps brushing away sand. His hand reaches her neck and rests there as she looks at Marf.

Mmm hmm, so what should we do with this quality time, mister?

Lycana purposely tilts her head just the slightest bit closer while a coy smile spreads across Marf’s face.

We should make it count...

No sooner do the words leave his lips, Marf’s lips gently press against Lycana’s while some fireworks go off in the distance. They share one passionate kiss after another while everyone else at the beach goes about their day. Except for one really weird looking middle aged guy who saw his first thong and wound up with heat stroke.

Well that’s certainly a start.

Mmmmm hmmmmmm...

...it can not wait...

Marf furrows those inquisitive brows but brushes it off.

And today we don’t have to wait!

Mmmmmm hmm...

...it must be now!

Hey, it is now, right now! What’s getting into you?

...shots been fired...

Marf sits up now and looks at Lycana with a pinch of worry.

Okay knock it off, you’re getting a little weird, even for me.

...across the bow...

Marf grabs hold of Lycana and gives her a gentle shake only for her to burst into sand and disappear. Marf looks at his sand coated hands and for a fleeting second the look in his eyes suggest his mind is about to snap but he shakes it off.

What the fuck? This shouldn’t be happening...

No sooner does Marf say this the ground begins to rumble and slowly open up around him. Marf closes his eyes and tries to focus but he starts to slide into the giant hole forming in the sand. He claws at the sides but only falls further into the gaping black pit. Marf yells out as the mouth of the hole closes back up, swallowing Marf completely into darkness.

This isn’t my god damn dream! Wake up for fuck sakes!

Marf falls through the darkness before tumbling onto the cold, concrete floor of Baphomet’s castle. As Marf slowly rises to his feet and brushes himself off, he takes a look around and stops to take it all in.

Baphomet: Are you done, Marf? Or should I continue on with the big plan despite your interruption?

Marf looks around at what appears to be the Left Hand. Baphomet, Geri Vayden, Lycana, Andrew Logan, and many more are all here in their special cloaks.

What...the hell?

Baphomet: Silence! That will be five separate peggings for Logan due to your transgressions! Concordance, vis-à-vis, ergo, let’s continue people!

Andrew: Yes!

Baphomet: Now then, as I was explaining before I was so rudely interrupted! Tonight, we hit up Boston Pizza! Followed by toilet papering that house with the crippled kid inside. Then we will cap the night off by coming back here for koolaid and the 2021 Super Smash Bros tournament!

A mighty cheer roars out from all the members aside from Marf.

Andrew: Yes!!!

Baphomet: I thought you’d like that. I do keep rolling out the hits don’t I? I’m single handedly the greatest leader of a faction ever! Theo and Vinnie should be letting me do whatever I want because I am money!

They all chant for Baphomet now while Marf begins to make his way to the staircase out. Before he can head up the steps a new voice stops him.

Leaving so soon, Marf?

Marf doesn’t know the voice but he can feel his blood suddenly running several degrees cooler. He slowly turns around and sees a cloaked figure standing before him. The rest of the group are still chanting like idiots while Marf stares at the figure before him.


Who the fuck are you?

You already know me. Or do you need to pull some remembering bullshit first?

Marf takes a step forward and tries to see the face under the hood of the cloak.

You’re doing all this, aren’t you?

The figure takes a step back while the rest of the group has formed into a line facing them.

Why don’t you fucking answer me!?


The figure bows and then raises their arms outwards while Marf steps closer once more.

Do you even realize how long I’ve spent searching for you? Almost two decades. But I finally found you...

Marf looks like he’s had enough but Lycana steps forward from the group and blocks Marf from getting closer to the figure.

You’re not the real Lycana. Get the fuck out of my way.

You know what I’m going to say to that...


Probably something the real Lycana would never fucking say, now move!

Before Marf can do anything else Lycana takes a step back so she’s beside the hooded figure. The figure suddenly turns and with a knife that had been hidden, stabs it deeply into Lycana’s stomach. Marf watches in horror as Lycana turns back to him and reaches out her arm. Tears well up in her eyes while blood trickles from the corner of her mouth. She reaches both arms for Marf now and he steps towards her. He pushes past her and she drops to her knees while Marf stands before the hooded figure.

Last fucking time. Show me who you are or I’ll just find out for myself.


Marf is fed up and reaches for the hood now but the figure steps back to quickly. From under the hood there appears to be two glowing eyes. The eyes grow increasingly brighter as Marf tries to shield his own eyes. He stumbles back as a sudden force begins to drive him back.

Stop this shit...stop...stop it!

Marf jumps up in his shoddy hotel bed, sweat covering his body. He looks around in confusion while trying to steady his heavy breathing. Somehow he didn’t wake up Lycana. Definitely a blessing as he didn’t want to worry her with something he didn’t understand yet. Marf lies back down and prepares for a sleepless rest of the night while we fade out.

Earlier that day...

Marf is pacing for a moment. There is a slight smile on his face as he stops and looks up.

So, here we go again, eh Barn? I was fortunate enough to get to dance with you once already but would you look at this, we’re getting a round two! Marfy versus Barney the sequel. I’m not even sure I can properly explain how excited I was to see your name on the card for Warfare against moi. The ravenous butterflies tore my stomach to shreds. What did I ever do so right to deserve this? I get to go toe to toe with one of the very limited few who actually have a relationship with violence that closely matches my own! And this time it’s just the twooooo of us!

Marf savours that last part, almost starting to dance. Almost, but he doesn’t.

What was it you once said to me, Barn? You’re the cat with nine lives? So how many you got left these days? Weren’t you just found earlier in the month? I believe you even mentioned more news to follow only to go radio silent. So where’s the news big guy? There’s at least thirteen or fourteen die hard Barney Green fans still waiting on it. Myself? Honestly, I could care less I just hope you fucking show up and don’t get yourself lost in another garbage dump or whatever lame excuse you need to come up with.

I also noticed you’re still aligning yourself with BoB so they can use you some more. Did they even invite you into their little elite club? You know what, you don’t have to answer that. When was the last time anything went well for you Barney, since being associated with them? Hell when was the last time BoB helped you even seem relevant? You’re better than that shit, trash man. Or at least, you should be.

Marf gives a slow shake of his head while realizing he likely won’t get through.

At the very least, I’m hoping the daddy of violence comes out to play. I want to go toe to toe with the Barney Green who lives and breathes ultra violence. Not the washed up fuck that gets himself lost while nobody at all gives a fuck. How fucking dare you allow yourself to be disrespected like that! You better be prepared for a full on brawl Barn, otherwise I’m going to beat you down until you’re nothing more than bloodied pulp mashed into the canvas. Or maybe the concrete floor instead.

It is a falls count anywhere match so let’s make sure we take full advantage of our opportunities. When it is all said and done, there will be chunks of Barney Green’s flesh spread all through out the arena. By the end of the night some lucky fans will get to take home little pieces of a national treasure. After a few weeks or months I’m sure we’ll get to see another triumphant return though from another self imposed hiatus. And at that time, what life will you be on, Barney? You better bring your fucking A game otherwise I’m taking all your remaining lives.

Marf leans in nice and close now, helps build a more serious atmosphere.

No more lives.

No more returns.

No more living on prayers.

No more garbage man.

Marf resonates with rage while staring directly into the camera now. He doesn’t flinch while continuing.

As for the XWF tag team roster, you all better brace yourselves. The Dissentients have a lot of unfinished business and intend to start a new trail of bodies and blood. That’s not a threat, it’s a fucking promise. We are coming...

Marf continues his intense glare while we fade to black, not Green.