“Hold up a second Sister Mine.”

I stood up from the table as the malicious smiles quickly disappeared. Turning to eye rolls and scoffs.

“Yes Shawn.” Betsy smiled.

“Shawn?”I hold a hand to my chest. “Am I in trouble? You only use Shawn when I’m in trouble…. Or I’ve made fun of Raven.”

“No you’re not in trouble. What is it that you wanted to share with the group?” Betsy asked while holding out her hand towards Lycana and Reggie.

“Oh right.” I smile quickly and walk to the front of the table. Betsy takes a seat and the three of them stare at me. Reggie seems unimpressed, Lycana rolls her eyes, and Betsy waves me on.

“Okay. So great job Betsy. We all hate Chris Page. Like that was a full on given. However we need to stay focused on what’s right in front of us. I know that all of you are salivating to get your hands on the neck of that prick, but not me. Been there, done that. He’s zero for the century against me one on one.” A quick fourth wall break as I blow a kiss to the camera. “What we need to focus on is Fury, The Bastards and… and….” I snap my fingers a couple of times. “The Penguin!”

“Do you mean Oswald?” Lycana asks.

“Yeah. That’s what I said. Oswald Cobblepot. The Penguin. One of Batman’s greatest adversaries.”

“But bro….” I quickly cut Reggie off before his statement could be continued.

“Think about it Reggie. Dude who was down on his luck, then all of a sudden he’s a random billionaire with plans of world domination. Then as always his plans fail and fall faster than Alias going down on his life size Corey Smith inflatable sex doll while Centurion records it and sells it off to North Korea for a massive profit. Oswald is nothing. He’s the kind of guy who thinks he’s pulling the strings but all he is to them is a walking, talking, syphilitic ATM. They have absolutely no respect for him. Hell if they did then he sure as fuck wouldn’t have been the last pick for them. I mean just look at the fucking guy. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even want to be here. Why else would the other three have to hold his hand and cover for all of his numerous deficiencies. Like skill, value and respect.”

“Still waters run deep, this whole team is just the demo version and we sit here as the main attraction.” I pause for a second.“The fuck is a marf? I can’t even keep the side shade hidden. Fuck you Marf.” Lycana sucks in air through her teeth. “Oh be quiet. This is fucking war. You’ve got to put that shit aside for just one goddamn night, then you two can go off and do whatever you want.”

“That’s all just to get us to Thunder Knuckles. The Harvey Dent in this fun little analogy I started earlier. See Lycana, it all makes sense.” Lycana shrugs and leans over to Reggie.

“Did this become a promo?”

“I don’t think it ever wasn’t.”Reggie responds and gives an eye roll.

“Of course this is a promo. Anyways let’s get back to Knucks. Look much like the Two Face everything you do is just a reason for all us to question what you really bring to the table. There isn’t anything about you that is impressive. A TV title run? Cool. A Tag Team title run? Cool. Sucking the shriveled dick of everyone and anyone that could possibly get you any notoriety? Yeah that tracks, like the two faced piece of human excrement you are.” Rubbing my chin as I take a breath. “Replace a quitter with a quitter, yeah? That’s really cute. It could almost hold some water if I wasn’t standing right here. This second. Or what about the other two times I showed up just to kick your stupid fucking head and leave you laying? I get it you hate me. Everyone does, that isn’t groundbreaking material. The difference between anything you’ve done and what I’ve done…. People care about what I’ve done. They care about where I’m at, but we shall circle back to that in just a second.”

“Sup Robbie?” A quick wave to the camera and a slick fourth wall break. “If it isn’t the Riddler. You done yet? You know I’ve noticed many a thing in my time away from the XWF, one of which is for someone who claims to be the Sultan of Smacktalk, you really suck at it. Like you and TK keep saying the same shit over and over. We are the best at this. We are the best at that. Yet you still feel the need to constantly swing above your weight class…. No Robbie I don’t mean actual weight class. You’re about one Big Mac away from a clogged artery. On second thought, eat one, you’d be doing us all a great service. I mean that. You should really go fuck yourself with a razor.”

“SHAWN!” Betsy bellows.

“Ugh fine….. wear a condom when you do it. There, better?”

“Not really…. Anyways before I was…” I hold up a hand.

“Sorry sister, but I’m not done yet. Please have a seat.” I motion for her to sit down. Now I’m positive if it was anyone else she would’ve been livid, actually she was livid but she sat down staring daggers through me. I smiled out of the corner of my mouth.

“Then there’s the issue of the Bastards themselves, as a collective unit. Now under normal circumstances I wouldn’t give them the time of day. And I haven’t for some time now. Let’s take it back a few months, yeah? I was on Twitter, as I usually am, and said ‘Hey, anyone can come face James and I for our tag team titles just come to Project Honor.’, and like the two little kids with their chests puffed out… here they came. Talking and talking and talking, with no resolution. We offered and their counter was… ‘Come to the XWF’, as if their minuscule brains couldn’t comprehend what was asked. We gave you an opportunity to jump the line in a completely different company and you balked at it. Was it fear? Or was it something else entirely? Probably a little of both, yeah? So for months you went on saying how James and I were ducking you. How we can’t possibly beat you. That you’re the best around.” I slowly clap my hands. “I see why you two are so close. Both of you worship Legacy’s balls. Yes, that was a clever way of saying that you’re…”

“Shawn…..” The stern motherly voice of Betsy. “Too far.”

“I’m just saying that with the two of them depending who is the top, it’s difficult to determine where one starts and the other ends. They are basically a breathing Chinese finger trap. Like Robbie is bringing that bear energy, but he yaps so much that he might as well be a power bottom. And that’s not even to say that their team name should be Sloppy Seconds. A clever play on the words meaning that all they will ever be is second tier and will never go any higher… even with Bobby somehow stumbling into a Universal Title run, that’s it. That’s their peak. Being behind someone better than they are at all times.”

“Yup, everything you two are doing. I did it before you. I did it better than you. Don’t believe me? Let’s break it down. I came back yeah? I won the Tag Team titles with Noah. We both held singles gold at the same time. We Main Evented a Pay Per View. I banged Atty. Now let’s see what the Lesser version of the Sick Cunts have done shall we. Hart title and TV title runs, separate from their Tag Title reign. Trying to bang Atty, key word trying. At least when Atty dumped me I got my dick wet, rather than BOB being left with a bad case of blue balls. So needless to say… why the fuck would I care about you two insignificant fucks, like at all. I know, ‘But Shawn you’re talking about us now, funnyirrelevantfakeassnocreativity.gif got’em..’ yeah because I’ve sat silently while you two sit there and try to make your name based off of Raven and Myself.”

“Good keep trying. It shows your desperation. It shows that even you don’t think you’re as good as you think you are. Go to OCW and take their titles. Go everywhere and take their titles. As long as you’re looking up at Raven and I, you’ll always be second class citizens.”

“And that’s just the kind of big dickhead energy I bring with me. I cause a seismic change in the landscape, as avalanches begin to fall, grow crops from around the world will begin to wilt….. God Dammit! Jim Caedus…do you have to make this difficult for me? Fuck.” I slam my fist on the table, causing the others to jump. One deep breath later and I’ve composed myself. “Let’s move on to their Captain of this charade.”

“The Joker if you will. Ms. Fury. The captain of the Handicapable Legion of Doom….

“Hey Bro… doesn’t Lex Luthor run the Legion of Doom?” Reggie chimes in mid sentence.

“Yes Reggie he does. How very astute of you, trust me friend. I’ll get to it. Once again. I see Fury standing there trying to play the big bad, when much like everyone else in BOB…. She's a second fiddle. Oh how she yearns to be feared. How she’s willing to go to great lengths to be the baddest around. Only to come up short. As Always. Anarchy title reigns only mean something to those who can’t win actual titles. When I look across the ring and I see you, do you know what I see? I see weakness. I see someone longing to be seen as an equal to those management have put on a higher pedestal. That feeling of dread. That insecure gnawing in the back of your brain. I won’t sugar coat it for you Fury. You’re not good enough. You’ll never be at the top of the food chain. You’ll forever remain the bitch at the table begging for scraps.” Looking over the room I see that I’m not getting the reaction I was looking for. “Fine, I'll wrap it up then.”

I begin to pace back and forth, searching for the words. “As you’ve all noticed by now I’ve compared all of you to some of Batman’s rogue gallery. Congratulations. It’s the most noteworthy you’ll ever be, but take a look at your surroundings. This isn’t Gotham. You’re in the company where I made my name. You’re in the company that trades off of my notoriety. Look at the website, that’s all you need to know. Most of the places affiliated with the XWF are because of ME and my connections, and my name. It’s me who ranks higher than Raven. No one is banging down the door to work with Robbie Bourbon, or Thunder Knuckles. No one knows what Oswald is, and no one gives a shit that Lane gave Fury the long stroke. That’s all this is, it’s petty jealousy that you’ll never be me. Don’t be mad at me because I’m doing me better than you’re doing you. Scream it from the rooftops… JOIN BOB…. It falls on deaf ears from the top of mountains. Notice whenever I go somewhere else, I win. I get accolades. I dominate. The only way to stop me is to fire me and even they are still living off of Warstein residuals.” I stop and notice that the three of them are paying attention. “So back to the main subject in all of this. War Games. For months and months have been telling me what they think about me. Whether directly or through back channels. Let me say this right now, I hear it all. This isn’t Gotham, nah y’all have been casting stones while standing in Metropolis while Superman was away. Well I’m back and not a single one of you brought your kryptonite and none of you are Darkseid. This isn’t going to easy I know that, but it sure as fuck is going to be fun.”

“You done?” Lycana asks. I give her a smile.

“Yeah I’m done.”

“Good.” Betsy stands up and takes her spot at the front of the table. “Now let’s talk about strategy. Who is going out there first?” Without a second thought I stood up. “Brother you want to go first?”

“Oh I really don’t give a shit. I’m going to my room. Y’all handle that. Tell me where and when you need me out there and I’ll do my thing.” I throw up the deuces and start to walk out of the room.

“He’s kind of an ass isn’t he?” Lycana stated just loud enough for me to hear her.

“Yup!” I yell back towards the room without breaking my stride.“But I’m all you’ve got and it’s too late now. So you’re stuck with me.” The door closes behind me with a loud swoosh. “Are you still with me?” The camera nods. “Good. Still in my thoughts?” Once again the camera nods. “Excellent. No one loves my voice more than me. Let’s continue shall we?” The walk to the room is long but as always, I’m there with my thoughts. My second favorite person.

While that wasn’t entirely true, I’m not going to lie. I feel like the odd man out on this team. Probably because I’m a replacement. Maybe because I’ve been thrust into this situation at a moment's notice. All I know is that after War Games there’s one more match for me and then the end. I feel as if there’s nothing left for me to accomplish. I’ve done it all. I’ve made it into the Hall of Legends. Why would I want to risk tarnishing what has been a hell of a career. I’ll finally be able to close the door and walk away under my own volition.

Still.

I’m not gonna cry when I lay waste to BOB. One by one they will all tumble down. It’s funny how people will rewrite history to fit their own narratives. Hell I do it all the time, but when the loudest proponents of the hashtag Fuck ApeLeg walks away and goes silent. Seems like the rest of the troops do so as well.

Curious. I wonder who really is in charge over there. The massive twat, or the one with the self proclaimed platinum pussy? Should’ve called it BOBERTA, because all I’ve ever seen is a bunch of bitches with gaping cunts band together for the sake of relevance, only to never get any…. Ever. And when the walls crumble turning on each other like a pack of wild dogs.

Whoops… sorry Spoilers.

Forgot Betsy took me into the future to see the outcome.

Sorry.

As I walked up to the door and reached for the handle I felt a buzz in my pocket. I quickly check but don’t pay it any kind as I open the door. I was quickly ambushed by Kasey. She wraps her arms around my waist and holds tight.

“You’re finally back.” She looked up at me and smiled. “So what’s the game plan?”

Taking her by the hand I lead her to the bed and we both sit down.

“You know I hate it when we sit down like this…. That means it’s about to get super serious and maybe I just want to lay down and….”

I don’t let her finish and grab her close. We fall back onto the mattress. She snuggles in the crook of my arm and I pull her in close.

“Fine then that’s what we will do.”

I dig all of the stuff out of my pockets and place them down on the nightstand beside the bed. I give my phone one more glance and a text message is sitting on the main screen.

Hello, Dove.

I quickly delete the message and turn back towards Kasey. She smiles.[bW “Who was that?”

“No one of significance.”[/b] Pulling her close and kissing the top of her forehead, I sigh and lay my head on the pillow next to hers. “Just two more shows here, and I’m all yours. And we never have to deal with any of this shit again.”

“Atara?” She asks with slight trepidation.

“That obvious?”

“Yeah. But you’re here with me.”

“That’s all that matters and I’m not going anywhere.”

Suddenly there’s a commotion near the command center in Excellence. Red lights flashing and the warning siren blaring through all the rooms.

“Fuck.” I sit up in bed. “Okay. Apparently I am going somewhere. Stay here. This isn’t your fight.”

The whirring of Excellence radiates along with the sirens.

Fuck. I really do hate this sound.


Fade To Black

(OOC Note: Edited a coding mistake. Even with minimum coding I still managed to fuck it up.)