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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » War Games 2021 PPV Board
The BOB TEAM S01E05 "Raining Without Clouds"
Author Message
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
A No Good Bastard



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
07-29-2021, 11:26 PM

[bwo][/bwo]

S01E05 EPISODE
"Raining Without Clouds"


[bwo][Image: TKWG.png][/bwo]

A black van sitting parked outside of the Yare prison complex in San Francisco de Yare. As the camera pans in on the van, we fade transition to the interior where we see TK behind the wheel, and Fury, Bobby, and Ozzy in the back, the latter of the two gearing up for what looks to be a full-scale assault on the prison.

"What's the plan Fury?"

She looks up from her phone.

I'm still awaiting confirmation. Until then, we wait.

Okay, and if that doesn't work out, what?

Suddenly a man's voice yells from outside in a thick Spanish accent.

"STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

TK looks out the window to see guards surrounding the van with their weapons drawn.

Uh, boss?

Do as they say and remain calm.

She says and she finishes typing something into her phone. With a heavy sigh, TK opens his door and throws his hands up through the crack.

HEY! NO ESPANHO! UNARMED! DON"T FUCKING SHOOT, OKAY!

They train their weapons squarely on TK and repeat the order to step out. TK slides out of the driver's seat and steps away from the van, keeping his hands up

One guard steps forward with his gun trained on TK's head.

"ON THE GROUND!"

TK looks nervous as he slowly kneels down. Two more guards approach the back of the van.

"YOU IN THE BACK! OUT NOW!"

Fury looks to her comrades.

23 seconds out. Do as they say.

Ozzy steps out to the dirt. Robbie is still holding his rifle, and as soon as the guard's notice, they train their guns on him and begin shouting in Spanish.

Okay boys, no need for that now.

Bobby kneels down, gently dropping the rifle to the floor of the van and kicking it away as he puts his hands up. Bobby steps off of the van, followed by Fury. They are each instructed to their knees as they see Johnny being escorted through the front gates.

"Oh shit..."

"We have accepted yo.."

Suddenly silent bullets rain down from a drone, taking down all of the guards within 2 or 3 seconds.

Well, hard way it is!

Before the guards escorting Johnny out can fully grasp what's going on, Bobby grabs his gun and pops off a shot, injuring one of them! The other jumps in shock and quickly draws his weapon. Bobby fires, but misses! The guard takes aim!

Fuck! The gun jammed!

Suddenly a shot rings out, but Oswald is quick to open a portal right in front of Bobby Bourbon, which catches the bullet! He then opens another portal under the guard, dropping him into God knows where! Bobby looks over to Oswald relieved.

Thought my ass was toast there buddy. Thanks for the assist!

Don't mention it.

In the confusion, Miss Fury was quick to action and is already returning with Johnny in tow.

Back in the van before reinforcements arrive!

The team scrambles back in as the prison alarm begins to ring out! Fury throws Johnny into the back forcefully, though he doesn't fight much since anything is better than where he's leaving! Fury climbs in and slams the back doors shut as TK speeds out, barely escaping the gunfire from the guards!


[bwo][Image: 0JSMBfF.gif][/bwo]


Who are you people!? Johnny asks as he stares up at these wild characters from the floor of the van.

In unison they all reply.

We're the Bob Team!


[Image: BOBline.png]


[bwo][/bwo]

Hallelujah, praise the Lord and he has delivered! One massive diva with the mentality of a drunk teenager has been replaced by an even bigger diva that acts like a juvenile girl. Hiya, Shawn! Wow, even with Corey dropping poop on our heads in a move so inspired it made Morbid Angel drop out of the match, and seriously, I guess someone is petty that they got bounced for the TV Title, and go dig Anarchy and watch as Morbid was there with him but bowed the fuck out. Damn, Corey, you're riding Alias's dick so hard hoping it'll carry you past the first round to the point you're being petty to Thad's dick since you can't ride it this go around. Even with Alias calling to Atara, great fucking call there, to whisk Betsy away to the promised land after spending the day with Morbid, and again, great fucking call there, because BOB is a fucking unit and the talk of War Games because nobody was more clever than Miss Fury on draft night and for all his hype, he has no friends just hangers-on who will dip the fuck out when the next new hotness shows up to bravely win the Universal Title via a briefcase. Dang, I've held every belt in the XWF, but I have yet to cheese-dick my way into a championship after a guy was beaten down, like the self-righteous auto-fellating douchebag Alias is, good thing he's calling BOB out for their wickedness while being the finest paper champion this year! Even with Lycana threatening to be devious and claiming Betsy is anything more than a soccer mom with all the wherewithal of a Neanderthal with a scope so small we can't see it at all, and get fucked, rhyming is more fun than anything you've done in your run in the XWF or however it's spun, she’s stale like a bun from McDonald's that sat in the sun and she's getting shot down, I'm the smoking gun. Even with Thad glowing over how awesome Continuum is while I negotiate with renters using him as a Summer getaway because I own him. Even with Dock saying BOB is dead after War Games, which is the most obvious truism I have heard the man ever say. Well after War Games, matter of fact, sometime around the year 2065 when I'm dead and buried, face down so he can kiss my ass. Even with Dolly Waters kissing my ass so hard I got hickeys just to hype herself up with a win over me. Even with Charlie showing up and leaving his alter-ego costumes in his closet back home. Even with Reggie being so gobsmacked and scared shitless that he completely blocked us out of his head and didn't mention us in his promo lest we get wrathful. Even with Betsy being such a shitshow of a leader she let Atara dip out after stroking her ego like she was giving a happy ending at a massage parlor. Even with Jimbo Caedus with all the nuance of a drunk in Wal-Mart hitting on a cashier completely nuking Apex from within, I guess there goes that money match-up people wanted to see, Apex challenging Us No Good Bastards for these…

Bobby and TK clack their Tag belts, then clack their OTHER Tag belts while Oswald and Fury nod in approval.

They saved money on their own fucking funerals.

But pull out the hearse, we got another body to bury. To quote Street Fighter 2, HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER! Shawn Warstein, the biggest bitch on Betsy’s squad and the bottom bitch of Reggie’s Angels. Shit, if Corey wasn't jealous enough as is of our team's actual chemistry and my Television Championship, now I get to wreck the body he could never get his hands on. Shawn Warstein has ducked enough challenges and thrown enough little hissy-fits in his time that calling him a bitch is the mother of all understatements, and the day of reckoning to the Wrecker is at fucking hand. Betsy, I hope you're paying attention. Raven is going to be more upset that I beat Shawn's ass than when I beat yours, probably because Shawn just tickles his balls all that much better. Now, Shawn, come and give us your opinion. The emo kid can cry all he fucking wants about what he thinks is supposed to be, what he considers greatness, about his Legacy, and why it should fucking matter. He's going to sound like a pig in the slaughterhouse advocating veganism. The best part, oh the Universe already knows, comes after we whoop the dog piss out of him in that cage and we hear the excuses pour in, about how if things were different he would have had a chance. If things were different, Shawn Warstein wouldn't be a pussy-ass bitch who got dropped into this scenario at the last minute. You man the fuck up off break or don't bother at all. Betsy wished and prayed for a miracle to help her, some kind of salvation, and all she got was you. Fuck you, fuck your resumé, fuck your history, not a fucking bit of that matters come August. The retrospective of your whole career, with all its highlights, and even more times where you just sucked balls so hard that, well, again, Raven likes you better than Betsy, culminates with that time he walked into a cage and got rolled out on a stretcher moments later. He said it best already, folks, he's done with the XWF, and BOB will be more than happy to prove that for him.

The facts are these. One, Shawn Warstein is done in XWF. I mean, fuck me, he proves it all the time! Leap of Faith, he comes out, does a little dance, and fucks off. Then he comes out on the last Warfare doing the same song and dance. The fucking truth is he fucked off because he knew he couldn’t beat Sarah Lacklan for the Uni without a fucking briefcase. The fucking tragic fucking comedy of it all is she didn’t even fucking keep it long!

Burning bridges for the sake of burning bridges.

Which brings me to number two, Shawn Warstein is full of shit. If one didn’t point it the fuck out, well then, you’re as dense as a goddamn shit brick. Look fondly back at Shawns Xtreme title defenses and tell me you can’t see bullshit. Looks like the guys that Warstein bitches about, are the same guys that took care of him. Show the brackets, how about show some goddamn backbone, you fucking lame-ass, cock rider. He’ll say otherwise but we all fucking know, that’s right folks! Shawn Warstein is full of shit.

Three!? That's when BOB Breaks ‘Ol Borestein, Batters Oblivious Betsy, Blisters Over-hyped Blue, and Brains Objectionably Bad Reggie Estrada. Warstein quits. Again. Bye, fucker!

Ain’t not one mother fucker like “Yay! Shawn’s back!” more like, goddamn now we gotta listen to the mother fucker cry. Personally, I’d take Peter Gilmour back for one night. Yeah, I know I’ll catch some shit for that one but it’s only because Gilly does the work, rather than having fucking Warstein come back just to flake out as soon as his panties get in a bunch. Don’t like facts? Then you’re in the goddamn wrong place, bitch fist. Don’t worry though, Shawn. ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles isn’t looking past you. Fuck and no! I’m looking through you like GLASS, mother fucker. Just like how people looked at you before you became Xtreme Champ. You weren’t shit then and you ain’t shit now! Nothing but a goddamn Noah Jackson side note. Take a bow, Noah. You deserve it. Oh, but don’t take it from me, look at Anarchy. Stone Cunt Noah Jackson comes out to the biggest pop of the night, and who shows back up? Yeah, we get it Fuzz, and still, no one gives a fuck. So go ahead, tell us all about those other feds you're in, cum dumpster, it means dick-all come War Games. When we splatter what's left of your credibility in this company on the mat. Thanks for the memories, albeit shitty, now there’s the fucking door!

Poor Lycana. Hoping that this was to be her breakout performance, only to hit a BOB branded brick wall of pain and disappointment. You've only tasted success recently, albeit for a short while. You're nothing more than a pup pulled from the teet too soon. I’m a multi-champion, including the X-Treme title. I’m also a multi-Star of the Month. Twice, 5 years apart. I hold this title of mine because no matter how hard I work, I would rarely get a shot. A glance, for the title picture. No matter how often I won. So, who are you to talk about titles? Who are you to talk about trinkets? I’ve been here long enough and have done enough that if I want to have my own fucking belt, I’ll fucking get it made, and if it pisses you off, come and get it bitch!

It’s hard to be a teething little mutt, isn’t it? You think you’re a big bad leader of the pack, but you’re still tiny. You think your teeth are sharp, but they’re still forming and so those ‘teeth’ are just your gums, sucking on the teat of the fame from those around you. Not just in this match, but for your whole career. You’re going to be back at the bottom of the trash can, where you pop out whenever someone feels like making use of you or you’re given a chance only to fail, spectacularly.


Boy, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles was right about Lycana wasn't he? She talked so much, for so goddamn long, that she did what we knew she would do. Stuck her fucking foot right in her goddamn mouth.

Was there ever a doubt?

Fuck no!

And who could blame you? They all claim that #FuckBOB is something more than a cult of jealously. It's a movement of the righteous against the wicked. It's a group of "moral superiors" inflicting their will on others, and it is a group that is connected by nothing more than a hashtag and a vague dislike for everything BOB. I've said time and again since the beginning, that you are all hypocrites. Are the heroes actually villains in disguise? I once believed so, but do you want to know what I've come to realize in my time here in the XWF? You aren't the villains, you're all just a bunch of CATTY BITCHES! Friendly to those whom you think that you can use to further your own careers, but as soon as their backs are turned, the gossip and plotting begin. Never truly committed, none of you are out for anyone but yourselves! It has always been this way, and it will continue to be this way at War Games because NONE of you are capable of prioritizing the needs of the many over the needs of the individual. Dock is manipulating his teammates for his own personal gain. Are we surprised? No. Dolly dreams of being the sole survivor in a quest to relight the spark of a career long since dead. Betsy desperately looks for a way to rekindle her relevance here in the XWF after months of start-stop booking. Corey even goes so far as to call my leadership into question thanks to my performance in the captain's match, proving how simple-minded he actually is by not realizing that it was all a play to try and assemble The Bastards. Will all of the fancy words and false bravado, none of you have actually been able to come together and pose a serious threat to BOB, and why? The same egos that lead you into War Games. What does BOB look to gain from War Games? Not what the XWF is offering, of that I can assure you. What we seek is what we have always sought, and that is to prove BOB as a force is more powerful than anything that the XWF has on deck, and that includes APE-LEG, whose destiny seems doomed once more as "brother" battles "brother" and already, there is little love lost between the two! Winning is everything, right? Go ahead, continue to preach about honor and comradery while you prove yourselves time and again to lack both!

Yeah they fucking do, and Lycana just proved it by making up some bullshit cause she knows she has nothing! Where the fuck have you been calling ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles out for a singles match again? The only place ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is running is to the goddamn bank, to cash my fucking paychecks. Paychecks signed over for beating you and your awestruck, mustard ass having, fuck boy, Marf. Who stands as much chance of advancing as Robert Main at this point. Main’s best bud putting that knife in his back the same way Judas did to Caesar. Man, I’d have loved to have seen the look on Main’s poorly put back-together face when he saw that, bro. Can’t make bomb-ass banana bread, without busting open some walnuts, amirite?

Speaking of other teams, there is no chance the pojantic team beats DisContinuum. No way! Corey’s teamwork-building skills are just weak as fuck, aren't they? I’d say as weak as, if not worse, than Betsy’s. Who’d Corey get as a replacement?

The man I'm going to destroy after War Games, Centurion!

Yep. They lose. Thad, Doc, and Dixon advance. The more BOBs in the Main event the better. Speaking of the Main Event. 'Ol Thunder Knuckles is torn, bro. Nothing would make me happier than being the guy who ended Robert Main's "I'm unbeaten at War Games" bullshit, but it looks like Ceadus is gonna put Main on a cross before I even get the chance. Foiled again! To think I took a ticket well over a year ago, Leap of Faith 2020, right before losing my TV Title that now sits around my partner's waist. Just to get my hands on the fucking dick head. Oh, well, Ceadus was always better than Main. Now don't get it twisted 'Ol Thunder Knuckles isn't saying he isn't slipping now. Hell, even he knows it and trying to drop the dead weight as quickly as he can to focus on getting himself back right. Good for him, but it'll make no difference. He's a dead man walking these War Games.

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[-] The following 10 users Like Thunder Knuckles™'s post:
ALIAS (07-30-2021), Doctor Louis D'Ville (07-29-2021), Dolly Waters (07-30-2021), HGH (07-31-2021), JimCaedus (07-30-2021), Lycana (08-01-2021), Miss Fury (07-29-2021), Mr. Oz (07-29-2021), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (07-29-2021), Theo Pryce (08-01-2021)




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