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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » War Games 2021 PPV Board
THE BOB TEAM S01E06 "A Hit To The Dick"
Author Message
Miss Fury Offline
BURN IT ALL



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
07-29-2021, 11:27 PM

[bwo][/bwo]

S01E06 EPISODE
"A Hit To The Dick"


[bwo][Image: FuryWG.png][/bwo]

We open inside of a helicopter flying somewhere over the US. It’s passengers? Miss Fury and the rescued Johnny. Fury is just silently staring at Johnny, which seems to be making him a little nervous.

”Um… Listen, if you think I held back anything, I didn’t. I told you everything I know. Promise!”

”I believe you. Besides, I doubt you’d try to cover for your former employer after he threw you into a third-world prison to rot for the rest of your life.”

Johnny doesn’t say a word, but instead breaks eye contact and looks to the floor, ashamed for his involvement in a drug-smuggling operation.

”You must be excited to be returning home.”

Johnny doesn’t look up.

”Yeah, though I don’t know how I’ll face my parents after this.”

Fury readjusts in her seat before crossing her right leg over the left.

”After what?”

Johnny looks at Fury with tears of shame forming in the corners of his eyes.

”Smuggling drugs, of course! I was a war hero, now I’m just scum!”

”Nobody knows of your involvement with the cartel. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, you were just another cargo pilot who fell victim to the cartels smuggling operations.”

Johnny seems almost overjoyed upon hearing that.

”Really? So nobody knows!?”

”Nobody but us, and I won’t tell if you don’t.

A smile creeps onto his face.

”Oh my god!”

As he jumps out of his seat and wraps his arms around Miss Fury, making her physically uncomfortable.

”Thank you, thank you so much! For everything!”

”Not so fast…”

Fury pushes Johnny off of her and he takes the cue to sit back down.

”What’s wrong? What’s the problem?”

Fury looks out the window as she continues to speak.

”To your friends and family, you’re a war hero. In reality, you’re a soldier forgotten by his country who had to turn to crime to make ends meet. A sad story, but not a unique one. It’s so very sad how your government treats its heroes, isn’t it?

Johnny squirms in his seat.

”I don't know. It's really hard to place the blame anywhere by on my shoulders.”

Fury's attention snaps from the window to Johnny.

”You said you're a war hero. I assume that you saw action. Which war?"

”Desert Storm.”

”So your government sent you to die for oil and as soon as they no longer had use for you, they threw you back into the real world and expected you to what? Be normal? People like us aren't normal Johnny."

”Like us? Are you ex-military?”

Miss Fury smirks.

”No, I command my own army."

”Mercs? Yeah, that makes sense, but I meant before that?”

”No dear, not exactly. I command troops in many fields. On the streets, on the battlefield, and in the ring. What I'm offering you is a job. A new start. A chance to take the skills that the military taught you, and use them to make your life better, to make your family's lives better."

Johnny seems hesitant to accept her shady deal.

”I don't know, what exactly do you need me to do for you, fly a plane?”

Miss Fury burst out laughing at the absurdity of his question.

”HAHAHAHAHA, Oh heavens no! I have little use for planes and such, and on the off occasion that I do, we have a fully staffed hangar and airfield of our own already. No, what I need you for is an idea that I'm currently playing around with. How would you like to become a star?"

”What? In wrestling? Nooooo! I'm good! You do realize how old I am right?”

"I do, but I don't care. Your background in the military is impressive enough, but you also had a successful run in mixed martial arts career as well."

"Yeah, like a million years ago! I'm telling you, I appreciate you rescuing me, but I think I'm just going to head home and get a regular 9-5 and put all this craziness behind me."

Suddenly the pilot cuts in.

"We're approaching the target now, ma'am."

Miss Fury looks back out the window as they fly low over a suburban neighborhood.

"You fail to understand, I'm not asking. If everything falls into place, and I'm sure that it will, I'll need you soon. I expect an answer when I call. If not, I can't promise that word of your involvement with the smuggling operation will stay buried forever."

"Are you threatening me!?"

"No, not at all, just pointing out that without BOB to keep this under wraps, your time as a respected free man will come to a close real soon."

"But if I help you do whatever it is you want, you'll keep your mouth shut, is that it?"

"I will silence anyone who dares speak a word, that's my offer."

Johnny bows his head as he contemplates his situation. After a moment he looks up to Fury.

"No, I'm done with all this... Crazy, I don't need more of it in my life. So, I guess you can tell whoever you want! I'll do my time and have a clear conscience after!"

"Very well, but won't it be a shame if something were to happen to your parents while you're behind bars? You know that they won't even let you attend the funeral, right?"

Johnny jumps out of his seat and grabs Fury by the throat!

"If you touch them!"

"Me? Oh no, never, but somebody yes, and if you don't release me right this second, it will happen sooner rather than later!"

Johnny fights his anger, wanting with every fiber of his being to crush her windpipe and toss her lifeless body out of the helicopter. After a moment he relents and falls back into his seat with a sigh.

"Fine, whatever it is, I'll do it..."

Miss Fury smirks.

"It was the only good choice you had."

She looks past Johnny to the pilot.

"Sit us down in the street."

"Yes Ma'am."

The chopper makes its descent as Fury stares a hole through a defeated Johnny.

"Remember, if you don't answer my call, or you fail to do as I ask, and..."

Fury runs her thumb across her neck.

"You AND your family will be done. Understood?"

Johnny just nods as the helicopter touches ground.

"Good. Enjoy the reunion."


[Image: BOBline.png]


[bwo][/bwo]


These War Games will destroy BOB? My Dock, how unlike you to be so naive. Tell me, what is the reasoning behind this assumption? What malfunction do you THINK that you see when you look at our team? Let me tell you what I see. I see four members of BOB who are the CORE of the group and the reason for its success. We’re not talking about Andre Dixion. We’re not talking Atara Themis, or “Chronic” Chris Page, or even the great Herschel Kiss. We’re talking about BOB. The four-person group that I brought together, and together, we have run roughshod over everyone who has stood in our way! Just look to the gold adorning our waists… mine of course is missing, held hostage by another so-called "hero" with a high moral standard that seems to only apply when the bad guy shit happens to him and not BY him! It’s fine, I’m still the OFFICIAL champion, and come SIN after SIN, I will once more have possession of what is rightfully mine, just like BOB will have what’s ours at War Games!

You all think that allowing BOB to come together was just an inevitability, and statistically, sure, more than a couple of us were destined to land at least one team, but the error in your judgment came by allowing US to come together! The four members of BOB with the closest bond and the most experience working as a team.

BOB Elite? Just a catchy name designed to stroke Page’s ego. It amuses me that still to this day, none of you realize that this is all just a game, and you, you're all my pawns.

Speaking of pawns, let's take a look at Dolly Waters, the quasi member of BOB that desperately hangs on to a connection with our group that was forged not by her, but by Micheal Graves. Sweet words and false narratives would follow once you found your way back into your own body, but the step to actually take the plunge and join BOB? No, Dolly is too much of a coward for that. Just as she's too cowardly to outright oppose us. It’s nothing new, it’s been the same song and dance the entire time that she’s been involved with the XWF. Tell me, how many vague alliances with people who for all intents and purposes should be your enemy have you made over the years? How is it that you try to cover for the evil that BOB does, dismissing it as nothing more than propaganda? Yet still, find yourself cozying up to those that we’d call our enemies? Why is it that you are incapable of committing, not only to BOB, but to anything other than laying around Corey’s stupid compound and crying about how hard of a life you’ve had. Look around sister, there’s not a face staring back at you that hasn’t faced the cruelty of this word and lived to tell about it. The only difference between us and you is, we use those experiences to motivate ourselves, you use it as an excuse to try and draw sympathy from your peers and fans alike. The problem is, you’ve now danced this same dance for so long that nobody expects anything more than an eventual meltdown and another two-year hiatus from one Dolly Waters.

Speaking of hiatuses, one has to wonder just how long after War Games it will take for Robert Main to fuck off now that his APEX brother has firmly set his sites on decimating him in War Games. We all know how he tends to vanish when things don’t go his way.

Likely as long as it’s going to take Jim Caedus to completely gut Charlie’s Carnies. Hope you guys are prepared, because I’ll tell you right now that Estrada’s Angels, which now comically and appropriately includes, as Bobby put it, the biggest bitch in the XWF, Shawn Warstein. Shawn, so nice to see you again. I’m glad to see that you’ve apparently gotten over your fears and are willing to finally work with BOB. I do so remember how you boasted that you’d never work for a company that BOB was in as one of your many excuses for leaving the XWF and not looking back. Except for that time you did, to make a big statement with Betsy, only to leave her to Bourbs all by her lonesome just weeks later. Tell me, was your return at Warfare really real? Are you finally ready to stand face to face with BOB and find yourself exposed for being what we’ve always known you are, an over-hyped prima donna who has been coddled for far too long.


“Reggie, can I ask what the FUCK are you talking about? No, really. You’re saying we don’t have the heart and grit to work as a team? We literally SHOWED that we can, and do, work as a team. While Reggie talks a whole lot, mentioning hardly anything at all. 1997 this, some person named Eric Bitchoff, All half thought out filler from a halfwit that's destined for PERMANENT DELETION COME WAR GAMES! Let me check my notes here, and I quote: ‘doesn’t mean that you have any grit or heart to work as team’

Reggie, when BOB starts taking advice from a fucking guy like you. That’s when we know we’ve hit rock goddamn bottom.

TK nudges Oswald who picks up right where TK leaves off.

We’re the core of BOB. If we couldn’t work as a team, BOB wouldn’t EXIST. Are you that ignorant of your surroundings? Are you that stupid? Of course not. You’re the man who got his name plastered over what was a primarily mostly female team. The fuck are you actually talking about? Because for a man whose name is plastered over the team name, all you can say about me is, what? And I can’t believe I heard that right. You mention million and trillion, but there’s an amount between the two, called a Billion. That alone shows to the world that you aren’t giving enough of a fuck about this match. You don’t give a damn about the worth of your own name. I’ve got more charisma in my pinky toe, than you do your whole body, and my balls are bigger than yours, too!”

Goddamn right, Ozzy! Big brass fucking balls, mother fucker! That brings me to Jim Caedus, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is getting ready to bend you over and fart on your cock sucking taint!

Bobby looks over at TK.

What was that? I mean, I support it, but, what does that even mean?

I was giving Caedus my best Jim Caedus impersonation. Where I just throw a bunch of shit down and hope it makes fucking sense at the end.

Can I try?

Sure.

I’m Jim Caedus.

TK shrugs as long as Warstein because there’s fuck all he can do about it.

That fucking works. It’s kinda uninspiring but I think that was the point.

Fury stabs TK in the back with a butter knife. It doesn't puncture, but TK looks confused.

What the fuck?

With a sly grin. "I'm Jim Caedus!"

That must make me fucking Robert Main. I’m also undefeated at War Games, I get the fucking confusion. Or, let me put that in "Omega Speak" for you fuckers to understand me better.

TK pulls out this phone and types. He turns his phone towards the camera.

[bwo]😆🤣😂😹[/bwo]

Okay, that was much better. Does that mean I have to be Drew Archyle? I don't want to be Drew Archyle. Nobody wants to be Drew Archyle, not even Drew Archyle.

Speaking of people who can be talented but choose not to be, Charmos. What kinda dumb mother fucker picks up two people, who claimed to be poisoned as to why they fucking suck? You got goddamn Marf, who let’s be fair, will quit XWF as soon as War Games is over. He’s finally going to see the waste of fucking space he is, and dip right the fuck out. I’ll put xbux on it. Watching his fucking promos are like watching fucking paint dry and he’s not much better in the ring either. Blame being poisoned for having a shit match. Please, that’s as dumb as the first ignorant fuck who used poisoning as an excuse. Here's looking at you Main. The only poison Main got was being confused as a baseball sitting on a fucking tee as ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles swung a goddamn Louisville slugger. These picks alone wouldn’t have sealed his fate, fuck no, but then he picked up Dolly. Dolly’s concept of fucking teamwork is going for ultimate victory for herself. You’re a fucking Charmos. Watch your promos and you can see the bitch knocking off her own teammates in them. Shut the fuck up, even if you advance with Dolly, you ain’t making it past the hottest group in pro rassling today. We’re a goddamn well-oiled machine while you’re spare fucking parts. This is survival not a goddamn battle royal. You sir, are fucked.

That’s an insult to spare parts.


Yeah, that may be fucking so, but at least they’re working as a goddam team. Unlike Reggie’s Angels. Speaking of them, twats, again. Todd hit the fans with that graphic of their new War Games poster.

[bwo][Image: 1.jpg][/bwo]

Hey, did you guys all notice the other subplot going on here? I mean, besides Warstein getting ready to piss away any legitimacy Legacy has by coming to the aide of Betsy just to get steamrolled? Well, people want to paint us, us of all people, as the nefarious sneaky shits with something up our sleeve. Pfft. Dig what's going on with Charlie’s squad, who are all on the same page, in the same book, asking the same question. Which one of you guys wants to pin Caedus? I didn't hear that the Xtreme Title is off limits, now, and Jimbo better be in pure survival mode what with everybody looking to hot potato the damn thing. Unless, of course, Jim gets the ole' good lookin' from the back office, who see him as doomed to lose, I guess. That's some dirty rotten shit right there, I'm talking prison camp latrine basin aged and fermented shit. Then, look at the ruse going on in the other match-up of the night. Corey, a briefcase holder, immediately picks up Alias? Then he's suddenly at odds with Thad and Dock? You don't gotta look too far to see what's going on there, Corey’s proven to be a sneaky little shit in the past, and Alias is left as the biggest fucking chump in the XWF right now. Well, biggest past Chris Chaos, but that guy is contented to be Theo's pet monkey in a suit. Not to look past what's set in front of us, though. Lycana has never been so generic in such a special way before. How the fuck could you make werewolves dull? Lon Chaney is spinning in his grave, although I do gotta ask, do you lick your own crotch, and after the match, do you have one of those cones set up so you don't try to chew at your wounds? Reggie? In the neapolitan of team Betsy you are the most vanilla thing to be found, Warstein is strawberry because, well, there had to be another flavor, Lycana is chocolate, tasty for sure but lacking, and Betsy, like according to James Raven, is just the box to come in. Unless he's coming in Warstein. Strawberries and cream.


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[-] The following 9 users Like Miss Fury's post:
ALIAS (07-30-2021), Dolly Waters (07-30-2021), HGH (07-31-2021), JimCaedus (07-30-2021), Lycana (08-01-2021), Mr. Oz (07-29-2021), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (07-29-2021), Theo Pryce (08-01-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (07-29-2021)




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