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X Marks The Thot
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JimCaedus Offline
TITLE - X-treme Champion

XWF FanBase:

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)

Post: #1
07-20-2021 10:25 PM


CAEDUS TIMELINE REWIND: Last time on Then and Now... Jim reiterated he had no intentions of ever marrying Holly but was down to co-parent for the sake of the baby. In light of Jim's dwindling finances, the subject of employment was raised and Holly denied his desire to return to the XWF, threatening to leave with the baby if he did. Less than enthusiastic to work a minimum wage job opposed to the higher income he was used to...

Continued directly from "Then and Now p.7" in "Took It All"

Seething rage. I should trade six figures for minimum wage, brilliant. Well, then, we're movin' on down, to the least side. To a caaaardboard apartment- under a fuckin' overpass.

Stop being so dramatic. I have my job, I want to work until or if I honestly can't. With a second income we won't go through the rest of your money so fast and still pay for everything.

I'd make more money growin' and sellin'. And that'd let me be around for you and the baby.

Ok, so get a job until the first harvest. The bills will be a lot higher.

I know what the fuck I'm doin', it was my idea. Stop talkin' to me like I'm a fuckin' kid and you're givin' exposition to an audience; there ain't no one here but the two of us.

Holly looks to our POV, good ol' Cammy. Jim traces her gaze to the XWF drone and back to Holly. Fuck off.

"Then and Now p.8"

---January 2020---

Bro...this shit is like- raw. Pulling apart the steak to regard the rare pink flesh inside. I asked for well done.

I'm sorry sir, lemme take that back to the kitchen and-

So I can wait another half hour for my order to be cooked right? Everyone else has their food, what the fuck bro? The other guy and two girls at the table are already digging into their dinner platters.

Do you wanna order something else?

I want what I ordered man. That's what I want. Right now. I'm not the only dude who ordered one, those people right there both ordered steaks so take your ass back to the kitchen and grab one of those for me. This time make sure it's fucking well done.

Noticing the couple the angry customer is referring to, both of whom are overhearing the conversation. Sir I can't give you someone else's order. If you want I can take your steak back and have them-

Hey you long haired f∆gg@t, go get my FUCKING order! This is BULLSHIT! His party laughs.

A flash of anger, attempting to control his temper. 'Scuse me?

You heard me. Turns to his friends, sharing low volume conversation before noticing Jim still standing there silently, his eyes locked on him with an emotionless stare. The youngster apparently doesn't appreciate that... Is there a fucking problem bro? He stands and puffs out his chest...of course he's taller than Jim. I'll kick your fuckin' ass right here. Maintaining his own glare as he points over Jim's shoulder. Go get my fucking order before you get snuffed f∆g-

Jim shoves him before he can finish the insult, right onto the table and food. The girls stand as their drinks are tipped, splashing them both with tap beer. The other dude stands- taking his seat again with a simple warning glance from Caedus. Diner denizens pull smartphones free and begin recording as Jim adopts a boxer stance. Knock me out cocksucker! Come on!! Knock me the FUCK out you homophobic piece 'a fuckin' SHIT!!

The youngster recovers, sits up on the table and leans forward-


Jim turns to regard the manager and opens his mouth to defend-

-but is cut off as the youngster barrels into him, swinging wildly. Jim absorbs several punches along his head and body before shoving him back slightly and wrapping his left hand around his throat, his face a mask of murderous rage. Always having possessed a physical strength far beyond his somewhat diminutive appearance, Jim easily forces the youngster back up against the table and bends him over backwards, raising his right fist.

I'll fuckin' KILL you cocksucker!!

The girls begin peppering him with punches and slaps, the other dude trying desperately to break Jim's grip on his friend's throat as he attempts to gasp for air, his legs flailing. None of it seems to affect the former Uni Champ.

---15 Minutes Later---

Jim sits in the backseat of a cop car, the door open, his arms cuffed behind him as the responding officers speak to the offending foursome and the restaurant manager. After several moments an officer strolls over and pulls Jim free, turning him around to unlock the cuffs. The foursome walk away.

You're lucky the victim isn't pressing charges.

Jim ignores him, eyes pinned on the foursome as they retreat to their ride. Once free, Jim rubs at his wrists and walks over to the manager.

Mark, that wasn't my fault, he called me-

You're fired Jim. Go home. I'll have your last check ready tomorrow morning.

Come on Mark, I have a pregnant girl at home.

You should've thought of that before assaulting a customer. What the hell were you thinking? It doesn't matter what someone says to you, you're a representative of this company, your job is to take orders, customer abuse and nothing else. You know damn well if there's a problem you let ME handle it.

I will, I will. Just let me-

I'm sorry, I can't keep you on. Go home.

Mark turns to walk back into the restaurant, leaving Jim to stand there silently...


---A week later---

Welcome to McDonald's...can I take your order?

To be continued...

"Mickey Mouse Horseshit p.3"

Jim's day at Disneyland had started out less than desirable, the majority apathetic or hateful reactions from the people, his tracking of Lycana and her trio dominating his time well into the afternoon hours and had happened.

Reika had somehow gotten free from the Matterhorn bobsled ride and attempted to scale the 147 foot structure, nearly losing her life in the process before Jim had chosen to intervene and save her.

Like a gotdamn hero.

Shit flipped pretty quickly after that...

We see Jim sittin' beneath the famous Walt with Mickey statue, a looooooong line of fans and groupies clamoring for his signature, selfies and yes, of course, that dick.

Time lapse video has us witnessing that line lengthening without end in sight as word spreads throughout the park of the professional wrestler turned honest to God actual hero who scaled the Matterhorn to save a life.

Jim. Fucking. Caedus.

"He's a wrestler?? Like...fake wrestling?? Shut the fuck up... No shit?? Who does he wrestle for?"

Jim experiences an outpouring of love he never before enjoyed. His phone won't stop chiming with the receipt of requests for television appearances and biographical film rights.

The XWF experiences a sudden surge in new subscriptions, followers and investors.

No one gives a fuck about the nighttime festivities and light shows around the Magic Kingdom, they only care about rubbin' shoulders- however temporarily -with Jim Caedus.

And sure, Jim understands more than anyone how fleeting celebrity status such as this can and will be...but he's definitely milking the fuck out of it for all it's worth while he can.

What he hadn't planned on was winning the attention of someone who could very well represent a potential for something longer lasting...

[Image: kmKY7To.jpg]

Well, well, well...if it isn't "Tatty Curvy", new arrival to the XWF roster Arcana and begrudging associate to LYcana.


A nervous giggle. They call me Arcana...but you can call me Kaiya Fox. It's a pleasure to meet you Jimmy.

She holds out her hand. Jim takes it...

...and holds it. Arcana doesn't pull back. The two simply stare into eachother's eyes.

After what seems forever... It's a pleasure to meet you too, my bad. ................ Would you uh, like to maybe-


To be continued...
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

[Image: 5UYuFPl.jpg]

Breakable, Stoppable
Pushed to the edge, now lost it all
Gapeable, Solvable
Over the edge for the final fall

Quote ME on that

"Well, well, well..."

Oh indeed Tavora, shit's changin' 'round here alright and as far as you're concerned it ain't for the better, bitch. The "legendary" Jim Caedus spoken of is a helluva lot closer to comin' back, kickin' in the door wreaking heavy-handed havoc on the roster and everyone can thank YOU for it. Not Marf, he's a fuckin' joke and he always will be. Same goes for Nickles, that ass-wipe will never be a contender again as long as he refuses to see he's his own worst enemy. Nope, it's all because 'a you girl. And here you are claimin' this is what you wanted.

Shut the fuck up.

You can save all the hard gung ho horseshit, at this point it only makes you sound like a fake tryna save face. I've effectively embarrassed you and your tag partner, I've proven you're a liar and a manipulator, I rescued Reika while you stood there flaccidly in fear (and if you leave this confrontation learnin' ANYTHING at all, it should be NEVER underestimate ME) and NOW, there's a good goddamn chance I'm gonna relieve you of the Xtreme Championship. Shit, you ain't happy at all, I don't give a FUCK what you claim to the contrary. I'm killin' your momentum as only Caedus can.

You "like" me do you? It ain't mutual. What's more...

I'm willin' to bet you HATE me right now. I see the anger comin' through, you're meltin' down. We can all see it. That's what I do best, piss people off and throw 'em off their game no matter WHAT they think they can handle. Rage is my realm, I'm more used to workin' angry than calm, it's my bread and butter. That don't ring true for my opponents. Now I'M havin' fun and're fucked.

I think you know it too.

And despite your words...I'm pretty sure the person regrettin' their actions here is you, not me. I'm comfy AF with what's happenin' here. How'd you describe it?

"Playtime is over."

But apparently hack-time is in full-swing. Playtime is over? I thought I was facin' a well-spoken clever cunt, you've devolved to Steven Segal one-liner limp-dickery. Also definitive dumbassery.

"Playtime is over" but we're on YOUR playground, right? Isn't that what you said? You couldn't look up a synonym as opposed to sayin' playtime is over then droppin' a word insinuatin' we're still playin'? Dumbass. And I'm simply a guest on your playground? Shave the hair outta your ears you furry fuckin' buffoon and hear me well-

You're in a whole new world now Princess Spazzmin.

MY world.


In my world ain't no happy endings for anyone but Jim fuckin' Caedus. I've led you from point A to point B and I can almost guarantee your third promo will be a C- mishmash of outta control rage fulla failure to disprove my points and a whole lotta empty threats and lame insults. It's only logical considering your second promo was as fallible as you think you ain't.

You keep pushin' the pathetic narrative that you really don't care about victories, diggin' your ass deeper into the hole you hopped into.

"From the moment I stepped in, my views about losses teaching me lessons were scoffed at."

If you're tryna contradict ME with that, you failed. Don't bother bringin' up more or less verbatim what anyone else said to you. I never said lessons can't be learned from losses. I said victory is what proves people wrong about you. You can get better all you want woman, inch ever closer, but if you lose you obviously ain't gettin' good ENOUGH, are ya? Stuff the semantics and word twistin' twattery, you ain't gettin' anywhere with that same ol' shit you're shovelin'.

You keep denyin' losses matter to you while insistin' it feels SO GOOD to prove people wrong. What is it with chicks like you who wanna have their cake and eat it too? Pick a lane and stick with it idiot. Victory feels so good because losses feel like humiliation.

Denial. The last bastion of a loser.


When all you can do is deny and essentially say "NUH UUUH!", you've lost the argument...and it don't matter how you see things with your wildly warped view 'a reality retard. Losses are wins. Up is down. Lycana is uncontainable. Fuck all that.

"And fuck you too."

I like it better when you show some backbone and admit to shit. Like admitting you do have an ego, albeit as you said "a bit" of an ego. Girl, your ego dwarfs any- including mine -with the claims you make. "Indestructible"? "Invincible"? "Notorious"? "Uncontainable"? That ain't "heart", that's fuckin' arrogance.

Let's go ahead and add double-standard hypocrisy to that when you say you earned the right to have that ego after tryna slam me for havin' one as well. I've earned the right to have an ego, asshole, I've actually reached the heights you're attemptin' to reach. And STILL your ego crushes mine by comparison.

"My sun will eclipse you, and you will be all but forgotten."

Your sun will eclipse me? Ain't it the moon that eclipses the sun? Fuck's the matter with you? And b-t-w, my name is on the Top 50, fucktard, I won't ever be anything close to forgotten. You on the other hand...

"I walked into hell and I lit the future of the universe on fire.

And now I’m watching the world around me slowly burn, clearing a path up to my destiny."

Jesus...there's that mammoth ego again.

The only shit burnin' now is your "on a roll" status and your path ain't clear, it's about to be inundated with your limbs when I finish rippin' you to pieces ya punk bitch. Unless 'a course the destiny you're talkin' is


Quickest way to reach that destiny is by continuin' to clusterfuck your way through this hype cycle and into the cage match by sayin' shit like

"The one thing I never do, is allow my ego to color how I view my opponent. I do not look at all others as if they are roaches, far beneath me, just there to be crushed under my boot.

Hey moron, you legit did exactly that. You bounce from likin' me and respectin' me, tellin' me how good I am to floppin' about eclipsin' me, tellin' me not to look past you, I'm the one regrettin' this and good luck, I'LL need it.

You're drunk on two fuckin' wins Lycana. Two. Or is it really just the one win over Page? You're more fulla yourself than you've ever been and you've made it clear just how ineffectual ya think I'm gonna be against you. You let your colossal ego paint me as someone who can't compete with you.

Is ANYTHING you say the truth?

I'll tell you what ain't the truth. You claimin' the outcome 'a this match resting heavier on me.


YOU'RE the Xtreme Champ. Not me. You lose, you lose the strap around your waist and the momentum you gained "beating" Alias and Chris Page. Sorry slut but you got a lot more to lose here than I do.

Like your mind and your cool. Look at your third promo. I fuckin' knew it...


Wow. You mad bro ho?

Whoa, whoa, whoa...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hold up...

Did you actually have the EMPTY SKULL to say you got me mad? It's so easy to get me mad? What the fuck did I just say earlier durin' this debate?





I THRIVE in anger.

You FELL APART with your own.

You transformed from level-headed to chirpin' chickenhead. Courtesy 'a Caedus.

"Words don't hurt you?" My words have unraveled not only the truth behind you and Marf and your own insanity but they raped you 'a your ability to make any sense whatsoever. Curse as much as you want. Everything you just said is hollow denial, weightless insults and angry basic bitchery to the nth degree.

Now you're the Dark Victim, fuck vixen.

You didn't change shit from my first promo to this you twit. I stated IN that promo I would start out differently with you, a different strategy, and that's what I did.

Fuck you're incompetent.

I should thank you for makin' this easier but I ain't gonna. You're a coward and a pussy and you let me down with how EASY it was to get in your head this time.

You talk about blood and how it'll take sheddin' my own to conquer you. What makes you think I give a shit about gettin' bloody, I fuck chicks on their periods. Runnin' red lights all day ya dumb dizzy dame. You should be far more concerned that you successfully STOP the bleedin' I draw from YOU or this is only gonna be the first in your next line 'a losses. You won't be provin' anything to anyone except you were nothin' more than another flash in the pan who thought they'd kill Caedus.

Let's just hope after our match you don't claim someone poisoned you to excuse your FAILURE, Fauxcahontas.


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~Proud final opponent of XWF Legend Barney Green for one of his retirements

---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---

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